July 11th, 2014

All-Male Shortlist to Replace Tim Yeo in South Suffolk

Tonight sees South Suffolk Tories select a replacement for Tim Yeo from an unusual all male short list of 3 candidates. Local councillor James Cartlidge, former Deutsche Bank investment banker Jeremy Quin and Norfolk-raised barrister James Tumbridge are into the final 3 tonight after more than 100 people applied to be the Conservative candidate for South Suffolk at the next general election.

The Special General Meeting, for members only, is being held at ‘One’, Scrivener Drive, Ipswich, IP8 3SU tonight at 6.30 pm. Guido is betting that it will after the absentee Yeo experience go to either the local councillor James Cartlidge or the local boy – his family farm a small holding in the area – James Tumbridge.


  1. 1
    ukip.I.am says:

    100 candidates for the trough.

    Down to the last 3….


  2. 2
    Albert's chainsaw sharpeners says:

    What no parachutes, Camoron must be worried.


  3. 3
    Had Enough says:

    Vote Ukip


  4. 4
    Wanda Ringhands says:

    Good to see the Conservatives are listening to the public and their unhappiness that Tory candidates are mostly bankers, lawyers and masons


  5. 5
    html says:

    </give a=tos>


  6. 6
    David Cameron says:

    Wont matter plebs. I’ll still be punishing success and taxing you all more. Toodlepip…


    • 8
      Had Enough of Labour Trolls says:

      If that’s what you think I suggest you vote Labour in 2015 and see if you have any savings, investments or pensions left after 5 years.


      • 30
        Ockham's Razor says:

        Don’t worry. He will. When they don’t even own a pot to piss in, it is a no risk strategy. We will miss his humour if he goes.


      • 46
        David Cameron says:

        Feck me you 2 sound like you’ve defected from the Guardian! “Troll” “troll” “troll”… just cos someone’s sussed out your political wank material of choice. The guy is an utter fist and completely obsessed with high taxes for anyone who dares to get on and achieve. And, no, labour isn’t the only option for those of us who want to resist the liblabcon thieving scrotes.


        • 61
          Eddie Izzard Comedy Course says:

          You’ll only need a few lessons, maybe 100.


          • The Growler says:

            Under our glorious education system, that course will cost you £500-£1000, just think you will be getting superior education from the same colleges and same lecturers.


  7. 9
    Ockham's Razor says:

    So many Tories have a small holding.


  8. 15

    Glad to see that they’re not being politically correct and having a token woman in the list.
    I also wonder how many CCHQ preferred candidates were rejected.


    • 17
      Ah! time for a change says:

      Time enough for one of them to have a sex change. Cat amongst the pigeons.


    • 140
      Job seeker says:

      I am straight, not a peado, love my country, honest, intelligent, have real work experience, sincere, not corrupt, hard working. Can I be selected please? Or am I missing something?


      • 156
        The security services says:

        There’s not much there we can work with sorry.


      • 159
        The Growler says:

        Sorry most of the jobbies (it’s not written down though) you would be required to turn a blind eye to any malpractice, even do some of the dirty work, very sorry, good luck with your job seeking.


  9. 19
    Mrs Jack Harman says:

    Despicable sexism!


    • 29
      Bill Quango MP says:

      Dear username- Jacx D:}

      Unfortunately, “Young, Black and Shafted” is not currently available.
      We substituted this DVD with “Interracial Office Twinks” which is new in and one of the DVDs our records show you have yet to purchase.

      We hope this will be acceptable,
      And as an apology we have credited your account with £10.

      Your DVD will be with you Monday, in the usual envelope marked “Union membership in the UK, statistical records 1971-2009″

      For all your desires.


  10. 22
    Bill Quango MP says:

    I am quite upset at the behaviour of the constituents. I mean, an MP doesn’t have to live in the area..Its not in the rules.

    And neither is there anything in the non-job description about not putting one’s own interests, hobbies, pastimes and passions ahead of anything the proles want you to do. .

    I mean, if every local committee decided to boot out useless troughers who are only in it for themselves, then the likes of John Prescott, Douglass Hogg, Maggs Moron, Mickey Hand-on-cock, Cyrill Smith, Chris Huhne, Denis McShane, Jim Devine, Lord TrustyClot and so on and on, .. would never have got jobs.

    A highly disturbing precedent and not something I wish to see repeated elsewhere.


    • 27
      Ockham's Razor says:

      Never let it be said that the English don’t pay regard to tradition. One have to admire the Scots MPs for coming all the way down here to vote on our university fees rather than simply pocketing their own expenses whilst staying at home. That is true dedication.


    • 160
      The Growler says:

      “an MP doesn’t have to live in the area..Its not in the rules” it should be in the rules + they must have resided at least 5 years in the area (not a bought house where no one lives)


  11. 28
    Tachybaptus says:

    Not just an all-male shortlist, but a two-thirds banker shortlist. That says a lot about the way we are governed.


    • 31
      Ockham's Razor says:

      Butcher, banker and candlestick manker…


      • 33
        Ah! says:

        Manchester lads don’t use candlesticks


        • 47
          Ockham's Razor says:

          They do up in the Cloud 23 bar!

          Go for a piss there and they can watch you from the ground outside. Very northern…


          • Ockham's Razor says:

            Just to prove I am not taking the piss, view from toilets is about ¼ way down the page with people seen skydiving out. What it does not tell you is that the windows go down to floor level (Johnson & Johnson):



    • 41
      Ed Balls says:

      Some know it all just tried to tell me that two thirds was 66.6666666% with the last 6 going on for ever & ever.

      That’s impossible right, nothing goes on for ever except royal mint printing machines.


  12. 39
    David Cameron says:

    I will endorse whichever one has ‘peccadillos’ and therefore can be controlled.

    Nothing serious just someone with peedo or anal fisting predilections.

    Or both.


  13. 40
    Idon'tneednodoctor says:

    Free gastric bands on the NHS. Diane Abbott and Emily Thornberry are first in the queue, but hang on does the NHS have gastric bands big enough.


    • 42
      NICE says:

      For cases such as these we recommend simply sewing their cake hole permanently shut. This method has many benefits not immediately obvious.


  14. 43
    Idon'tneednodoctor says:

    I see Barcelona FC have no morals either. Let’s see if Suarez can get his teeth into La Liga.


  15. 45
    cured lefty says:

    You have hand it to yeo , a consummate spiv, throughly drilled in H.R.H. regiment of lifelong chancers . fought back just enough to save face at the golf club, then giving us “the people have spoken shite”
    I like most here have ran into fuckers like him all my life i clocked these k, unts after 2 mins .

    Decade after decade
    the idiots who proposed him , the idiots who voted for him should to be sectioned!


  16. 49
    Jimmy says:

    That’s disgusting. It just looks so cheap. And to think of all the money Derry Irvine spent on redecorating.


  17. 56
    #Highlander says:

    Can I put my hand down now?


  18. 57
    Melford Man says:

    When it’s 09:50 in London, it’s 1975 in Long Melford and that’s how we like it


  19. 59
    táxpáyér says:

    Innocent face?


  20. 62
  21. 63

    G’erman spy scandal is taking an odd twist:


    Either a triple agent or triple cross. M’erkel may not know which way to look – hope she doesn’t get dizzy.

    Vote UKIP :-D


    • 72
      Ockham's Razor says:

      “As for the aforementioned cyber espionage, this is not only blatant hypocrisy in relations between allies and partners, but also a direct infringement against state sovereignty and a violation of human rights, interference in private lives” – Vlado

      He would vote UKIP, probably :-D


      • 75

        I do not think so – but watch this space.

        This looks like triple-X – likely to distract from the real GRU-SVR penetration in G’ermany.

        P’utin will only want to encourage EU spy agency set up if he is already positioned in on it.

        Vote UKIP.


        • 91
          concrete pump says:

          You really are a pompous c*nt.


        • 98

          Did you look up the M’orrisey joke which was featured on M’ary W’hitehouse experience ?

          That track you reference was about the Span!sh C!vil war – nothing to do with CSA or the other active measures which are being targeted at the UK at present.

          It is ironic you chose a track that M’orrisey was involved in as the artist in this case was a genuine victim of an active measures attack with the recent false allegations that he was abused whilst at school being circulated in the press. (Google it)

          He is currently litigating. In part it is because you appear to have been duped by that rather nasty campaign against the artist that your post was countered. M’orrisey is not to my taste, and that extends to his lyrics.

          If you want to pick a track about CSA to carp on about, try one from the wiki page:


          Candyman by Siouxie and the Banshee’s is quite catchy and retro. ‘Oh Father’ is quite powerful, but more about physical / emotional abuse and dealing with the death of a mother.

          Be aware that they are not all categorized accurately on that page.

          Vote UKIP :-D


        • 102
          concrete pump says:

          @BLowing tramps.

          Succinct, actually.

          You knob!


        • 108
          tom cruze says:

          cp is right . bw is a total nutjob


        • 111


          Get Laid.

          Vote UKIP :-D


        • 115
          Brian Sewell says:

          “…have you read i’s comments…”

          This boy is pathetic! He cannot speak English above that of 4 year old’s level. How can anyone take him seriously?


        • 117
          Obsessive Compulsive Disorder says:

          Seem to be working overtime tonight.


        • 119

          @BW: Wasn’t meant quite that way – To be fair it is perhaps a valid and winning election slogan.

          Only reason for obfuscating with M’orrisey is to reflect your obfuscation with the lyrics there.

          Here is the actual context for the lyrics you mention from the original propaganda poster:

          Vote UKIP :-D


        • 123
          To the blog's resident virgin says:


        • 126
          Michael tells you how to FIDDLE DIDDLE without the teacher noticing says:


        • 127
          Caught Wanking By Mum says:


        • 129
          Am I really that ugly? says:


        • 144
          Ockham's Razor says:

          My remark was made with some irony, using the Carlsberg device of adding ‘probably’ to the end of any disputable statement, which overcame the TDA provisions in the 70s with such dazzling effectiveness.

          It was a fantastic response to the earlier PC brigade tosh which decided the State should take responsibility for the ages old ‘buyer beware’ stuff we were taught from before we could even walk.

          There is a conspiracy theory going begging here, if anyone should want to pick it up and run. By overprotecting the consumer, the government managed to convince parents that it was no longer necessary to pass on the previous conventional wisdom. Accordingly, the next generation grew up to believe that the worlds of politics, civil service, justice, public health, education, unions, law and order, immigration, transport, communications, banking, commerce, press and broadcasting were all run by fluffy bunnies operating in the very best of the public good and were thus to be relied on totally.

          Hell, some 35% of the voting public still seem to think that we are run by fluffy bunnies! What brilliant propaganda of which even Goebbels could only dream.

          A beautiful day here, at last. Off for a swim and a good dinner with my Norwegian friends. Both teachers, he is also a published author with some 20 books to his credit. Both socialism haters, both anti-AGW theory, both of them demonstrate to us in the UK that, if people think, they can overcome the seemingly overwhelming pressure from the State to conform. As you will know, Norway is a socialist hell-hole which has used its oil wealth to build a desperately inefficient system, run by fluffy bunnies. When you have petrodollars running into your bank accounts faster than you can count them, any stupid system appears sustainable.

          Won’t be back until late, so will not be about much here today.

          Avoid the fluffy bunnies! Vote UKIP :-D


        • 152
          Intolerable says:

          because it was the ‘content’ of the words of that song and nothing else which mattered.

          What is it about this trite, sixth form Comprehensive lefty lyric that you like?


  22. 64
    Tachybaptus says:

    What do you look like eating, petal?



  23. 65
    Ockham's Razor says:

    This is not the place to post porn, thank you.


  24. 67
    WoRaft Chihuahua says:

    Isn’t there a nice Islington-based lawyer who neither lives in the constituency nor knows anything about it? Preferably a mate of Dave? That’s who usually gets in, after they’ve pretended to ‘count’ the votes.


    • 80

      Like a Tory version of Tristram Hunt?


    • 106
      nell says:

      The tories don’t seem to have the ‘red princes’ that labour are promoting like bliar’s son, prezza’s son, jack straw’s son, kinnochio’s son, and on and on . Labour has given up promoting working class MP’s with real job experience and instead taken to promoting their own kids to the lazy ,profitable gravy train that is known as the HoC!!! Note to young johnny ‘ join us- we’ll show you how to milk the HoC for max benefit and never have to do a day’s work in return!!’


      • 141
        Job seeker says:

        Fair point Nell. If you worked for a corporate this behaviour would not be tolerated. Nepotism.


  25. 81
    'Call me Dave' Dave says:

    Must institute all-gay short-lists for Tory seats; that just’s the sort of progressive initiative which will see off the UKIP threat


    • 86
      dog today, dog tomorrow says:

      You do that Dave, after 2015, you can move out of number 10 and go and live next to a dogging site with your weird friends.


    • 93
      albacore says:

      Given another year’s immigration
      And no vote on E U domination
      Any silly sod that votes for Tories
      Would swallow all their old fairy stories


      • 95
        All core no alba says:

        Seems you swallowed Liebour’s fairy stories.


        • 100
          albacore says:

          Labour, Tory – what’s the odds?
          Just a pair of lying sods
          Liberals, too, come to that
          Every one a quisling rat


      • 96
        Blue Peter Goldfish says:

        Alas, poor Yorick! I knew him, Horatio: a fellow
        of infinite jest, of most excellent fancy: he hath
        borne me on his back a thousand times; and now, how
        abhorred in my imagination it is! my gorge rims at
        it. Here hung those lips that I have kissed I know
        not how oft. Where be your gibes now? your
        gambols? your songs? your flashes of merriment,
        that were wont to set the table on a roar? Not one
        now, to mock your own grinning? quite chap-fallen?”


  26. 83
    PPP, 1-1, pip pip, toot toot says:

    To be a MP as a career has become rather passé, it’s so 1950.

    Still, power and influence can be a powerful force, Suffolk you say, hmmm.


    • 94
      dog today, dog tomorrow says:

      Being an MP is not supposed to be a career, it seems the public have allowed it to become that way, that’s the problem these days, MPs think we owe them, they owe us the public service we pay them dearly for, time for a way to sack them when they fail, after all we are paying them a lot of money to do a days work.


    • 109
      Tachybaptus says:

      Power and influence? When MPs are first elected, they quickly find that they have neither. They are just lobby fodder. It’s not surprising that they turn to theft and buggery.


  27. 85
    Blue Peter Goldfish says:

    Who needs polonium when you’ve got bacon.


  28. 87
    Anonymous says:

    Bannerman MEP must be annoyed.

    He claimed to live in the constituency when he was trying to get oinm the UKIP MEP list – something about a spare room at his sister’s place.

    He rerally fancied himself as an MP and one suspects he changed party to achieve that. What a loss to Westminster!


  29. 90
    Blue Peter Goldfish says:

    James Cartlidge, is he one of the Sprained Cartliges that came over with the Norman conquerors in 1066?.


  30. 99
    DudleyWest Midlands says:

    i have just found out that the public sector was on strike yesterday, I thought the traffic was a bit light


    • 104
      Blue Peter Goldfish says:

      I’ve just found out from your post that the pubic sector was on strike yesterday, funny, the sun still came up and everything in the garden looked rosey. :-)


    • 105
      nell says:

      We never noticed anything here. The unions and labour rather desperately said the strike was going to match the shut down of the UK in 1923 ? , Ho Hum,!!!

      Neither the unions or militwit are having an impact are they? How sad!


      • 110
        Tachybaptus says:

        I did notice an open topped bus full of GMB members waving flags and blowing vuvuzelas. People on the pavement were giving them the finger.


  31. 103
    nell says:

    No ‘red princes syndrome’ then? How very sensible of the tories !!!


  32. 112

    The Tories need to get on the UKIP agenda fast. Having cancelled the euro arrest warrant I see they are now hurrying it back through the h of c.

    What next, no change to speed limits?


  33. 113


    Vote UKIP :-D


    • 122
      Tachybaptus says:

      After they made Snakes on a Plane, someone suggested a sequel called Bears in a Submarine. The nation waits.


      • 128

        Here is the latest R’ussian training video for their UN envoys:

        Audio has been made family friendly and translated. Covers mainly negotiating strategy for UN resolutions which seek to do good in the world, but would not make the West look bad.

        Vote UKIP :-D


      • 133
        Mental Footballers Everywhere says:

        Crocs on props.


  34. 114

    Legalizing murder on the NHS:

    Vote UKIP :-D


    • 145
      Anonymous says:

      The right to die campaign is the best indicator of our narcissistic times.

      How do these so called respectable people think they can publicly bow out when there are so many youngsters in much worse situations.

      Why are these people devaluing these children’s lives and making judgement on others. For a person to judge their own situation means they condemn all those suffering more.

      It is very hard to commit suicide. These are just cheats that have left it too long, as they did not have the bottle to do it themselves. Now they want others to help so they do not have to worry about the consequences of failing like all other really desperate people. Having someone there to make sure you die is just selfish.

      Suicide is because there is no point to life. The key is that these people are counted as a drain on society and can not see their value. That is the greatest failing of our nursing system. Isolate, control and assign a cost to peoples lives.

      We have no society.


  35. 118
    Ah! about time says:

    Teachers should be allowed to strike…during summer holidays.


  36. 120
    Ah! why says:

    Why don’t the GREENs ever complain about all the air that is wasted by bubble wrap going onto landfill?


    • 136
      Popping to the tip says:

      All I know is if there were no Greens then there’d be a lot less air wasted.


    • 142
      Digger Mupp says:

      Not really that much. I am a full time employed bubble wrap bubble popper. Pop pop pop… :-)


  37. 121
    John Prescott says:

    Free weight loss surgery? Champion news! Time to make the most of it before I have the surgery. I’ll have 25 chicken vindaloos, 15 pilau rice, 8 sag aloos, 6 naans and 5 bottles of Cobra. I hope P*uline’s bought some extra air freshener. My farts in bed tonight are gonna be ripe and meaty. Champion!


  38. 124
    Hear All See All says:


    How many times now has Cameron failed to persuade EU dictators to see things his way ?
    Time for Brexit .


  39. 134
    http://bit.ly/1oONUWA says:

    It’s difficult for a bug to look normal when squeezed into a human body.


  40. 139
    Little John says:

    Did I make the short list ?


  41. 147
    Addolff says:

    Re: songs about child sex abuse – try the album ‘Brave’ by Marillion. Magnificent.


    • 149
      The secret society of noncing MPs says:

      We draw lots each day to see which one of us will be Uncle Ernie.


  42. 153
    Anonymous says:

    “to Replace Tim Yeo in South Suffolk”
    why not resort to the same subterfuge used by allies in WW2? When they deployed inflatable facsimiles, in order to con the opposition into believing there was actually something going on. Whilst in actually, the real business was all being conducted elsewhere.
    Meanwhile victims of the London housing dispossession bubble, might soon suggest coupling cattle-trucks to HS2 trains. So they then have somewhere to spend their downtime. Even if it does mean repeatedly shuttling back and forwards between the Capital and Brum all night long.


  43. 154
    Sally means 'come fourth' says:

    I hear there is to be an All-Short-Male list to replace Jerkov Berkoff


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Find out more about PLMR

Austrian Chancellor Werner Faymann on Cameron’s refusal to pay the £1.7 billion EU bill by December 1st:

“Well, then he’s gonna pay on December 2nd”

Mycroft says:

Have you read the last bit of Animal Farm?

You know where the animals are looking through the Farmhouse window?

My TV screen was that window at lunch-time today.

Be careful, the sudden self-congratulatory tone, the slightly pudgy outline of indulgence and you become exactly what you should despise.

The jolly face of the Quisling Cameron poses for your camera has mesmerised and deceived you, you who were once not so deceived.

You were no firebrand, you were a damp squib in my opinion, sorry.

You need a damned good kick up the ahse!

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