July 9th, 2014

The Lord Works in Mysterious Ways

For the first time ever, Chris Patten has acknowledged that there is an earthly being higher even than him. Fat Pang has taken a job as a spinner for the Pope, where among other things he will advise His Holiness on how to make his Twitter account a bit less… Pope-y. Good thing he has plenty of experience working for an organisation with an impressive record at covering up child abuse…


66 Comments

  1. 1
    Sue Denim says:

    From one trough to another trough. Does the Holy See not see?

  2. 2
    Ghost of Leon says:

    So do Mi5

  3. 3
    Ed Balls - Shallow Chancer says:

    Twelvetyth !

  4. 4
    BBC Scum says:

    First Tony B.liar and now Fat Pang all in league with the Pope. Slime!

  5. 5
    God says:

    To they that have, shall be given! Alright!

  6. 6
    Neil Down says:

    Chairman of the Tory party AND chairman of the BBC. He’s worked with more nonces than most prison wardens.

  7. 7
    Red Ken Lyingscum says:

    Where’s my Peerage then ?

  8. 8
    Parliament is a Gay Disco says:

    those monks in Ealing are to blame.

  9. 9
    M says:

    While the rest of us go to work & pay tax

  10. 10
    Twampersand mk II says:

    I wouldn’t employ that Hunt as a toilet cleaner or shit shoveler.

    If the Pope wants advice from that fat bastard, he must be a twat as well.

  11. 11
    Neil Down says:

    On hold until someone can be found who can say “Lord Livingstone” without vomiting.

  12. 12
    Bath Bun says:

    He’s done very well since the electorate in Bath told him to f orff.

  13. 13
    Owen Jones says:

    Hypocrisy is.. getting agitated when you hear about Palestinians camp bombed with 25 killed, but don’t care when you hear it was in Syria.

  14. 14
    Bijou Banton says:

    He had to quit the BBC for “health reasons” and suddenly he’s fit for work in The Vatican.

    It’s a miracle.

  15. 15
    Flood Gate on Sea says:

    Has he [been] resigned from the Beeb yet? If so, what was his golden payoff?

  16. 16
    StevieBC says:

    Is this a ‘Sponsored Post’ as well ?

  17. 17
    0.7HB says:

    by completely misunderstanding clues left by God, Islamic men appear ridiculous in posture and are pointed at in Mirth.

  18. 18
    Doc says:

    I thought he was ill?

  19. 19
    Prime Minister David Cameron says:

    Deep in thought after todays PMQ’s, and got pretty emotional. Reminds us all to courageously stand for what we believe in…………..BUMSEX

  20. 20
    William Quango QC says:

    “I should like to issue a clarification on behalf of my client, Mr Miliband.

    When he said he was happy to be known as a ‘friend of Gordon’ he was not using a euphemism for being a homosexual.

    When he said he had, on occasion, squeezed Mr Brown, he was of course referring to Gordon’s hand… and not his bottom.”

  21. 21
    Bill Quango MP - sponsored by Powergen says:

    nothing wrong with that.

  22. 22
    Dangerous Brian says:

    Well spotted Sherlock.

  23. 23
    Mrs. Ball-Scooper, TRIPLE FLIPPER says:

    Everything your client, Mr. Miliband, states is generally greeted with owls of disbelief.

  24. 24
    Good Queen Bess II says:

    Or until I’m gone, as I’d likely be tempted to slice off an ear.

  25. 25

    Never mind a spinner for the pope we could do with one at Trent Bridge .

  26. 26
    Fatty Pang....The BBC Website says:

    I’ll be buggered, I looked up “Fat Pang” to find out about it and the source is on his own BBC website.

    “‘Fatty pang’

    But relations between Mr Patten and the Chinese authorities remained strained. Chinese officials and media came up with a variety of insults including, most infamously, the nickname “fatty pang”. ”

    http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/uk_politics/3965499.stm

    He’ll be writing to Google to forget that page.

  27. 27

    Speaking of PR spin fails…

    Vote UKIP :-D

  28. 28
    God says:

    See, you can’t keep a good man down!

  29. 29
    Anonymous says:

    Anyone with any morality would not have moved from the BBC to the Vatican at this time.

    No human could be that unconnected with the world.

    Unless they were so narcissistic that their reality extends to only themselves.

  30. 30
    christ almighty says:

    Suffer little children to come unto me

  31. 31
    The Archbishop of British West Hartlepool says:

    Does this mean, Patten is now working for His Holiness Tony Blair?

  32. 32
    Nigel Evans, Not Guilty of bumsex raype, but a bumsexer and proud says:

    I like bijous.

  33. 33
    Ellie-Mae (9) says:

    When Kelloggs include them in their packs

  34. 34

    Has Malaysia devalued Godwin’s law ?

    – Could be a good mail headline.

    Vote UKIP :-)

  35. 35
    Alyingstare Campbell says:

    We don’t do God.

  36. 36
    Monsignor Bogus O'Hooligan says:

    If it’s truly a miracle we must build an airport at once.

  37. 37
    Angela Merkel says:

    Close but wrong.

  38. 38
    Norm Normal says:

    Ever been to Rome? The modern church has achieved more than 2000 years of troughing.

  39. 39
    Dan Dan says:

    I would – all he’s fit for.

  40. 40

    They will easily relate to one another ;)

  41. 41
    The Peoples Pope says:

    Errmm, excuse me….I’m a straight kinda guy…..and in perfect pole position to advise the Pretender Pope on spiritual matters……and on various other affairs

    Tony Blair, Millionaire

  42. 42
    Anonymous says:

    And whose bag carrier was he in Europe? The Pope better make sure he doesn’t get his foot anywhere near his throne when he’s about to stand up.

  43. 43
    Anonymous says:

    Does he still like a little Rice now and then as a side Order?

  44. 44
    Banned says:

    That arrogant fat oaf should have retired years ago.

  45. 45
    Banned says:

    With a name like ‘Bung’ he was born to be a politician.

  46. 46
    christ almighty says:

    and to them that hath not the bill shall be made out

  47. 47
    You Cannot Be Serious says:

    Jeeeez that is one very dodgy looking geezer!!

    Where the hell has he been dug up from!!

  48. 48
    Jimmy says:

    From the proposed new website:

    FAQs: 1. Are you a Catholic?

  49. 49
    Wok Gon Style Guru says:

    Is he not the one who rolled over and offered his arse to the Chinese!

  50. 50
    MB. says:

    The BBC, presumably they are who you are referring to, are complete amateurs at child abuse when compared with the Roman Catholic church. Most was not even don by BBC staff just people taking advantage of the access.

  51. 51

    He’ll be Tweeting for the Pope or was it Poping for the Tweet?

  52. 52
    Anonymous says:

    From one pedo ring to another pedo ring.

  53. 53

    How repugnantly true as a summation if all the sewage that has been poured over these poor wretches by the ” protected” sewer rat Establishment over tbe last 30 or 40 years .

    We are proven to be no better than our Victorian gentleman ancestors who used to tell their servile wives twice a week that they had business engagements at their men only clubs that evening and in truth gathered to descend upon child brothels in Limehouse or similar. Where they proceeded to carry out all manner of unspeakable beastings fir their sadistic delectation.

    Times evidently have not changed.

  54. 54

    ” Kneel” says

    aaaaawwwwrrrriiiiigggghhhhtt!!!

  55. 55

    We gave it to the newt Ken . Sorry. Computer error 404.

  56. 56

    Lord “Kneel” lives in Ealing …

  57. 57

    And acquired a new lease of life with an octuple heart bypass in the process.

  58. 58

    Well .. life is lived at a much much slower pace there .
    ( yes even slower tban at the BBC!)

    Ideal for an ageing left footer— ample opportunity to deeply meditate on the sins of a long past life.

  59. 59

    Yes sponsored by the now defunct famous whisky label —VAT 69.

  60. 60

    Did we all know the Illuminati dance around an effigy of a Giant Owl when they gather yearly at Bohemian Grove in some backwoods US state?

    Well, as Ken Wolstenholme would have said “we do now !!”

  61. 61
    As the scandals unfold says:

    No extradition from the Vatican

  62. 62
    The Blessed Jimmy says:

    Answer: Now then, now then…

  63. 63
    Striking teacher says:

    How has this fat B’stard managed to go from one over-flowing trough to another for the last thirty years? He makes Saville look like a complete amateur.

  64. 64
    Father O'Kiddiefiddler says:

    Its not so great when they have diarrhoea though. Not at all, at all.

  65. 65
    Very Modern Historian, Really says:

    Is there something he hasn’t been told?

  66. 66
    Ironside says:

    They also called him a ‘prostitute’ which description he regaled diners with at invitation-only dinners.

    It gained him quite a few laughs and indeed, even some sympathy.

    But of course, at that time he had not disclosed to anyone the GBP500K deal he had concluded with Jonathan Dimbleby for fly-on-the-wall access to the Governor’s residence, and internal coverage, to produce 6 episodes of ‘The Last Governor’.

    The Chinese, of course, knew.

    ‘Prostitute’ seems rather apposite in hindsight.


Media Reader

Newspapers No Longer Willing to Toe Party Line | Roy Greenslade
London Live to Cut 20 Staff to Buy in More Content | Press Gazette
Telegraph Revealed Auschwitz 3 Years Before Liberation | Telegraph
Mirror Hacking: 50 Legal Action Claims | Press Gazette
45 Mirror Group Stories Linked to Phone-Hacking | Press Gazette
We Must Not Call Charlie Hebdo Killers ‘terrorists’ | Telegraph
Page 3 and the Art of the Self-Pity Statement | Guardian
Here is What a 7 Way Debate Sounds Like | BBC
Poll: Sun Readers Want Page 3 to Stay | Business Insider
The Sun: An Apology | Press Gazette
More Women Prosecuted For Telly Tax | Mail


Rising Stars
Find out more about PLMR AD-MS


Boris on British Jihadis. Apparently based on MI5 intel:

“If you look at all the psychological profiling about bombers, they typically will look at porn. They are literally w***ers. Severe onanists. They are tortured. They will be very badly adjusted in their relations with women, and that is a symptom of their feeling of being failures and that the world is against them. They are not making it with girls, and so they turn to other forms of spiritual comfort — which of course is no comfort.”


Tip off Guido
Web Guido's Archives

Subscribe me to:






RSS


AddThis Feed Button
Archive


Labels
Guido Reads
Follow

Get every new post delivered to your Inbox.

Join 1,717 other followers