July 9th, 2014

Labour’s Lavish Fundraiser Auction: £100,000 Reserve Bids

Labour clucked and screeched last week over a Tory fundraising auction that saw signed Maggie memorabilia go for £45,000 and a tennis match with the PM also up for grabs. Well their own gala dinner tonight will see something very similar, including at least one lot with a reserve price of £100,000:

“We have amazing artwork from Antony Gormley, Anish Kapoor, Grayson Perry, Mark Wallinger and Nicola Green along with an exciting opportunity for you and a chosen team to go head to head with a Shadow Cabinet Five-A-Side All Stars football team which includes, Ed Balls, Andy Burnham, Sadiq Khan, and Jim Murphy.”

The Gormley has a reserve price of £100,000, while the Kapoor work is available for a more ‘in touch’ price of £25,000. Most would struggle to pay for Nicola Green painting “The Struggle” at £6,000. No cost of living crisis there.

Other lots include “Patrick Stewart to record your answerphone message”, and cash-for-access to “Tea at the National Gallery with Tristram Hunt”. It is not believed “the week long stay in a Tuscan villa for 9″ was donated by Polly Toynbee.

Table cost £15,000 and the tickets are a poverty busting £500…

UPDATE: Although Guido didn’t get the story from the excellent Kate McCann, she did run the story in City AM this morning and we are happy to point that out.


  1. 1
    Oh, really? says:

    Gormley work raises money for Gormless party.

  2. 2
    DtP says:

    Anthony Gormley’s a bit of a one trick pony so a hundred grand is a bit ott.

  3. 3

    Well won’t see any of that lot down the Food Bank, will we? Know what I mean!

  4. 4
    Vic says:

    What is it with Labour and figures?

    There’s only four in their five-a-side team….

  5. 5
    hamilton is a clown says:

    politics is for the rich, public school educated elite. as is being a political journalist or commentator.

    the rest of us don’t really matter to you lot.

  6. 6
    Ellie-Mae (9) says:

    Lunch with Jack Straw?
    Can I punch him out for crimes against humanity over dessert?

  7. 7
    Lard Prescott says:

    You won’t win, I’m in t’goal

  8. 8
  9. 9
    Bloomers in rain-soaked Bongo Bongo Land says:

    Don’t be daft.

  10. 10
    Daveykins, your frien in number 10 says:

    get that red rosette off, some muppet will go and vote for it!

  11. 11
    More prizes???????? says:

    Are there no prizes of having Hattie to clean behind your fridge, or of a twitter event with Jack Dromey? What about an acting experience with Ed(1) on how to blink furiously, or Ed(2) on how to act like Mr Bean? Or a shit signed pair of undies from everyone’s favourite hissy-fit thrower, Chrissy B?

  12. 12
    T.B£iar - the People's Messiah says:

    I’ll bid £ 500,000.00 for the Gormley.

  13. 13
    Anonymous says:

    5 a side?

    I bet only 3 people show up!

    Still, with Labour’s maths the way it is I’m sure they’ll say it counts.

  14. 14

    In the headline photo, which is Ed and which is the statue? Both are incomprehensible pieces of work.

  15. 15
    Who's cheering? says:

    Jack will probably have one of his depressions so won’t turn up.
    One day, one of those depressions may be fatal.

  16. 16
    Cynical-old-bag says:

    A tennis match with the PM? At a Labour Party fundraiser?

  17. 17
    Harrison Umunna says:

    We only want rich people in the labour party, trashboy

  18. 18
    Willy Straw says:

    Waccy baccy on the menu ?

  19. 19
    Ken Clarke says:

    Ticket for Ronnie Scott’s? I’m up for that!!

  20. 20
    Nice to know you care says:

    Hattie and mrs Dromey don’t do menial things like that, they will get their servants to do them instead,

  21. 21
    yet more prizes says:

    Or a basic course in Healthcare Management from Andy Burnham or a Fiction writers masterclass with Gordon Brown

  22. 22

    No ‘gost ob libbing crysees’ here, methinks..

  23. 23
    still walking into darkness says:

    What an opportunity to take those 4 tossers out in one go

  24. 24
    Stu says:

    I’ve always wanted my answer machine message done by a champagne socialist luvie wanker.

    I bid 10p just to tell Patrick Stewart to fuck off.

    Used to like the guy once until I discovered what a complete bell end he is.

  25. 25
    boring mook watch says:

    What, like your daft monika?

  26. 26
    Joss Ayinglike says:

    That’s a total of seven then.

  27. 27
    Ed Twelvety Balls says:

    Vote Ukip, get Labour.

  28. 28
    Ed Twelvety Balls says:

    Stop confusing me with all these hard sums!

  29. 29
    Nice to know you care says:

    If you want to stop Liebour getting in, vote UKIP and tell your friends to vote UKIP as well, otherwise if you vote Camoron’s Conservatives or the Libcraps, you will certainly get Liebour.

  30. 30

    Also to be auctioned:

    Gordon Brown to do his illusionist disappearing act with gold bars.
    A gloomy picture painted by Ed Miliband.
    A small statue of Ed made by his brother (slightly singed).
    Andy Burnham’s dirty linen.
    Ed Balls’ old calculator (as new).
    Old cro(t)chet work by Hattie.
    A canned fart from Tony Blair (£200,000 reserve).
    A set of DvDs donated by Jacqui Smith
    A full-length, illuminated cheval-glass donated by Chuka Umunna
    Vaz’s Magic Oil (10,000 litres)

  31. 31
    M says:

    Nigel get back to work

  32. 32

    Thats new Labour for you – it is all about the money!

  33. 33
    Hamish says:

    “UPDATE: Although Guido didn’t get the story from the excellent Kate McCann, she did run the story in City AM this morning and we are happy to point that out.”
    Aye right.

  34. 34
    Anonymous says:

    Nicola Green is Mrs David Lammy, so maybe it’s mates rates. She went out with a famous BBC type comedian who said that she was good at queefs.

  35. 35

    If the GramscoFabiaNazi PoliticalEnemyClass has got that kind of money, then why isn’t it Giving It To The People Who Need It?

    I work in Liverpool for fcku’s sake.
    I’m not a leftoid Nazi like that lot at the dinner, bidding sums for each other’s worthless artyfarty-labourpaty trash that’ll be bigger than the value of the entire street of “social housing” that I’d pass in a minute… People here are desperately poor owing to 60 years of socialism.

    Is not it germane to ask whether they’d just drive up here and hand out random envelopes of cash in Bootle or Toxteth instead…please…?

  36. 36

    Some clever fella could crack their shins for them a bit, now and then. A steeltipped football boot’d be exciting.

  37. 37
    Bog Paper says:

    the week long stay in a Tuscan villa for 9″

    Is that nine inches?

  38. 38
    Fools Gold says:

    Leeching slime balls. The Labour Party are worth fuck all as far as I am concerned. Perry and Stewart can fuck off and do one.

  39. 39
    Idon'tneednodoctor says:

    Labour have a cost of hypocrisy crisis. Miliband is taking the piss out of you and me.

  40. 40
    Idon'tneednodoctor says:

    Make it so.

  41. 41
    Mr Snotty says:

    A bid of 10p to fuck Hattie

  42. 42
    Idon'tneednodoctor says:

    What ten times, yuk.

  43. 43
    L S says:

    I wouldn’t pay to play five a side against Ed Balls.

    It would leave such a bitter taste in my mouth.

  44. 44
    Dusty Bin's Champagne Socialism. says:

    How much do have to pay to get these labour clowns out of media, culture and entertainment? I have donated a piece of art called “A worthless shower of shite” signed by Stewart & Perry” and “losers” signed by the two ‘Eds are worse than none.

    Oink Oink!

    © leech off the weak socialist scum.

  45. 45
    Mr Snotty says:

    Grayson Perry – isn’t he the bloke who dresses as a woman – a bit like Angela Eagle?

  46. 46
    The Ghost of John Smith says:

    A shrivelled gherkin signed by Lard Prescott
    Some skanky Y-fronts (well used) from Chris Bryant
    A 3″ strap-on from Yvette Cooper
    A hamster (used) from Lord Madelson

  47. 47
    nell says:

    As a bit of a right winger who has worked for every penny and who understands the value of money and the need for sensible economy – I would not pay £500 for a meal with any politician . That is ridiculous!!

  48. 48
    The Critic says:

    I suppose even shit has a price ?

  49. 49
    Do you do terms? says:

    Puddin chips and gravy twice please, heavy on the gravy we’ve got kids.

  50. 50
    Very little help says:

    ‘twould suit Bercow down to the ground.

  51. 51
    Dessert Rat says:

    Hunt doesn’t rhyme with twat!

  52. 52
    Dessert Rat says:

    It’s them fucking food bankers who caused the recession in the first place, innit

  53. 53
  54. 54

    Since the Hunt is not human, he is allowed to commit crimes against the rest of us!

  55. 55

    its reassuring that we have people like this to protect our children. As good as having a Catholic priest to look after you!

  56. 56
    The wizz says:

    But it does rhyme with……..

  57. 57

    I know. It’s actually awfully disappointing. And with him being such a good starship commander too. What a waste of good talent.

    But really, we must all have known the game was up with him, when he announced he was leavin’ the Enterprise and going to act in live plays on real stages…what a numpty.

  58. 58

    I thought he made china pots with prepubescent children depicted on them, no? Or is that someone else yet to be “unmasked in the enquiry”?

  59. 59
    Owen's Remedial Logic teacher says:

    1. Gormley donates large price (not nec. value) items to Labour
    2. Labour give Gormley a knighthood

    How are statements 1 & 2 linked?

  60. 60
    Rotherhampoofta says:

    What world is this that they live in???

  61. 61
    ed milliband/nick clegg/david cameron says:

    Working class heroes every last one of them.

  62. 62

    Why wasn’t I invited?

  63. 63
    ukipper says:

    What 100 large to Labour? I’d need a Knighthood at the very least for that kind of cash. Ok if not a Knighthood then I would accept five OBEs and a CBE each for my Greyhounds. How much is an Earldom? Can I get a package deal from Blinky?

  64. 64
    carroccio1958 says:

    Supermarkets openly targeting tight bastards
    TESCO has launched a special Tight Bastard range aimed at misers.
    Morrison’s is to follow suit next week with its Obsessive Penny-Pincher brand while Aldi is developing a range of Mean-Spirited Meal Deals.

    A Tesco spokesman said: “It’s time to stop mincing words. This year it’s been all about courting the so-called ‘savvy shopper’, ‘bargain hunter’ or ‘cost-conscious shopper’.

    “These can be effectively grouped together with the umbrella term of ‘tight bastards’.”

    The Tesco Tight Bastard range includes Plain Cake for 4p and Industrial Custard for half a pence, a unit of currency which has been officially discontinued but that many tight bastards have stockpiled in glass jars.

    There are currently an estimated 3,000,000 tight bastards in the UK. Because of their frugal ways they are believed to be the only people with any actual money left.

    68-year-old miser Roy Hobbs said: “It all seems a bit fancy and frivolous to me. 4p for a plain cake? I’m not made of money.

    “I’ll wait until it goes stale, then get it out of the skip round the back.”

  65. 65
  66. 66
    question says:

    is the ceramic pig with the labour rosette actually going to stand at the next election? i mean if labour sheep voted in Diane abbtott they would probably vote for that too

  67. 67
    Paul Nutall of Ukips says:

    I heard he tastes of fine dinning

  68. 68
    Neil says:

    As a bit of left winger who has worked for every penny, understands the value of money and wants to live in a society where people have equality in opportunity.

    I would not pay £500 for a meal with anybody, nor do I condone Labour using this as cheap way to get funds.

    At least right wingers have UKIP, our choices are Labour (who still have some good bits but leadership are all Tory like now) and Greens (oppressed to fracking which this country needs for economic prosperity.)

  69. 69
    Anonymous says:

    “a Tory fundraising auction that saw signed Maggie memorabilia go for £45,000”
    may have missed a trick. By not offering the collection of shrunken heads, taken during skirmishes with would-be breakaway factions of her own tribe. Which historically resulted in that uprising in the ranks.

  70. 70
    Judean People's Front says:

    croquet with John Prescott anyone?

  71. 71
    Dave the pleb says:

    Instead of parading their stinking hypocrisy by bidding for each other’s trash, why don’t they come up here to Birkenhead and just hand out the money to poor bastards like me? Oh, I forgot, they never go out of London.

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