July 7th, 2014

Eurostar! Well, You Might Have Seen Him on the Telly
New UKIP MEP Left Stranded in Channel Tunnel

Eurostar travel chaos struck this morning, as 382 passengers and four dogs were left stranded on a broken down train to Brussels in the middle of the 30 mile long Channel Tunnel. Among the passengers, who had to be evacuated, was newly-elected UKIP MEP and former People’s Army spokesperson Patrick O’Flynn. Normally Patrick spends his time struggling to get out of Europe, not the other way round…


79 Comments

  1. 1
    Ed Miliband says:

    Firtht

  2. 2
    Ma­­qb­oul says:

    Stuck in the Rabies Tube with four dogs. Good start.

  3. 3
    Hattie Harman says:

    It’s still going to be along road, we must always keep up the pressure and be vigilant. Slimey bastards

  4. 4
    Percy Thrower says:

    The proliferation of verbal manure surrounding THE INVESTIGATIONS is no doubt intended to fertilise the ‘long grass’.

  5. 5
    Noncesense says:

    If Leon says he welcomes the inquiry, then it guarantees it’s going to be a whitewash.

    And interesting timing of the revelation that he was interviewed by police over a “historic allegation”. The police were at pains to let us know the female accuser was over 18 at the time. Almost as if it’s to confirm to everyone he’s totally hetero and that the only “unfounded” allegation pertains to a an adult woman. The establishment really do take the public for fools. Most are. But not all.

  6. 6
    Boom Tish says:

    382 passengers four dogs and if Diana Abbott had been on a the train you could have added a pot belly pig to the list.

  7. 7
    Toxic Labour for Spongers, Scroungers, Parasites, Criminals, Layabouts & other Wasters says:

    We’re all struggling to get out of the corrupt Europe famous for it’s Socialist Money Trees.

  8. 8
    Noncesense says:

    I wish to stress that Peter Bottomley is completely innocent and that there has to be a perfectly reasonable explanation for why he never sued Scallywag.

  9. 9
    Hey guys says:

    Rolf here. I’m suing myself for self-abuse, just in case there’s any swag left over.

  10. 10
    Bi Curious says:

    I managed to get a hamster stuck down my tube once.

  11. 11

    Maybe they deliberately blocked it?

  12. 12
    Kitty says:

    I concur.

  13. 13
    Crusty Planet tour guide says:

    I’m guessing the dogs were on their way to Magaluf.

  14. 14
    Pardon in French is pardon. Get your own language mon cheries says:

    Does the Tour de France run along that route?

  15. 15
    Sky News says:

    Will all totally innocent MPs form an orderly queue in the phonebox

  16. 16
    Reality check says:

    Some are also conspiritards with perhaps the gift of overactive imaginations.
    Many are seriously buthurt because they spent the weekend posting crap online which has now been shown to be untrue.

  17. 17
    Didgeridont says:

    So true, Rolf. You were stitched up by a bunch of wimmin for your dosh. They must have also broken into your home, downloaded pictures of child abuse and scrawled down in your notebook how to delete your browsing history. Bloody feminazi wimmin, eh?

  18. 18
    Mitch says:

    To be fair, Scallywag had no money and was haphazardly run by it’s editor. It was more of a comic tbh. I always got the impression that it knew it had gone too far sometimes.

  19. 19
    Ah! Guido says:

    We need you prizewinning stats to show a named scale of overclaimed expenses against sexual orientation. The truth might be hiding therein.

  20. 20
    Mitch says:

    The fckin stewards were giving out orders in French yesterday! And there were French coppers knocking about. This is Sheffield!!??

  21. 21
    Blue Peter says:

    No need. I bought all the copies.

  22. 22
    Terry Taxfan says:

    I love a Cumbernauld sausage ring

  23. 23
    Anonymous says:

    Even so, i bet Pat Hewitt & Jack dromey are keeping their heads down.
    Hoping everyone will have forgotten the reporting from last febuary.

  24. 24
  25. 25
    Chris Grayling says:

    Absolutely no idea.
    Who is pulling my strirg?

  26. 26
    Not a lot of people know that says:

    Interesting fact about the Tour De France.
    It’s originated in WWII.
    In 1940 when the French Army Cycle Corp were retreating from the Germans they would award the most cowardly soldier(who also happened to be the fastest cyclist) a yellow tabard.

  27. 27
    Rich Clifford says:

    silent fart

  28. 28
    Bill Quango MP says:

    The age of the train.

    Who was in that advert again?

  29. 29
    Ejukated undor Layber? says:

    Mon cheries?

    a) mon is masculine singular
    b) cheries is feminine(*) plural

    (*) not Slotgob, obviously

  30. 30
    Noncesense says:

    Shown to be untrue? Really? I must have missed that headline. How were they shown to be untrue? Have the missing 114 files magically reappeared? Or is there a perfectly innocent explanation for why they were shredded or lost? A bit like the videos of child porn a Tory MP was caught with by customs in the 80s which later vanished after the government told the police to back off.

  31. 31
    The legal department says:

    Don’t mention Johnny Morris.

  32. 32
    Ah Sole says:

    Erm..the race is 110 years old?

  33. 33
    Bill Quango MP says:

    The pedalox scandal has MPs making cautious statements, then a bit bolder and accusatory, then a bit mild, then silence, then angry again, as the days rolls along.

    I can inform you that in Westminster, as names are bandied about, if it looks like one of the other lot is involved, it’s home secs calling for ” the Full Milliband,” or a judge led as it’s also known.

    Then as whispers of one of their own surface it’s “let the police carry on with their investigations.”

    You’ll note Lib Dems are only calling for no real action and let plod do their thing.

    Work that out one out yourselves.

  34. 34
    Hawkeye says:

    I can only see 2 of them.

  35. 35
    Sally Barecow says:

    *innocent Farce*

  36. 36
    Not a lot of people know that says:

    Jim couldn’t sniff his fingers and drive a car at the same time so he ‘let the train take the strain’

  37. 37
    Even grat people make mistakes says:

    That Tunnel was the most stupid thing that Maggie did.

  38. 38
    Baboon's arse says:

    You’re mixing it up with Bruce Forsyth.

  39. 39
    Nonce Watch says:

    “buthurt”

    What an unfortunate misspelling given the circumstances.

  40. 40
    táxpáyér says:

    At least we can buy decent french nuclear power easily.

  41. 41
    ? says:

    Never go full retard,,I mean Miliband

  42. 42
    Free Food for all says:

    Shoplifters are being sent to food banks instead of court as police fear hunger is behind the rise in offences across Britain
    Help: North Wales PCC Winston Roddick said arrested shoplifters would be directed to food banks in the hope that ensuring people were not hungry would reduce the number of thefts
    The police and crime commissioner for North Wales says those arrested for shoplifting will directed to food banks in an attempt to reduce the number of thefts.

  43. 43
    Baboon's arse says:

    Latest CCTV footage from inside the Home Office:

  44. 44
    A Copper says:

    Funny they never steal mince. Only Aberdeen Angus Sirloin and the odd tin of salmon. ( Tuna is for the poor).

  45. 45
    No fucking excuses this day and age says:

    The welfare state provides everything people need which makes theft of any kind an act of pure greed.

  46. 46
    Roger's Jolly says:

    Eurostar broken, Europe isolated.

  47. 47
    táxpáyér says:

    When it isn’t windy enough for Dave’s father-in-laws (and Nick Cleggs relatives) rent-seeking wind-totems.

  48. 48
    Get In There Ed says:

    LAB up 3 to 38% in latest Populus online poll.CON down 3
    LAB 38 (+3)
    CON 31 (-3);
    LD 9 (=)
    UKIP 14 (=);

    Herr Uber is getting fed with ordering an Uber Taxi for David Cameron.

  49. 49
    Not a lot of people know that says:

    What sort of ah sole can’t spot an obvious joke?

  50. 50

    Something is up but can the Judges be trusted ?

    Their Crown allegiances are confused and most of this b/s is sourcing from a hostile Foreign Crown.

    A sacrifice will be required – preferably a Labour one (safe now the C!A have dropped them) but this just needs to be toughed out.

    Folk throwing allegations around without basis should realize that they are only damaging their own. Time to stop and reflect for a moment:

    – Then pick up the true flag and don’t look down.

    Vote UKIP :-D

  51. 51
    Anon says:

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  52. 52
    táxpáyér says:

    Maybe if they spent their cigarette and booze and Sky and xbox money on food instead?

  53. 53
    táxpáyér says:

    Poe’s Law.

    http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Poe%27s_law

    P.S. I got the joke. but add /sarcasm for the humour-challenged.

  54. 54
    Ed Milband says:

    Fifthtythecond!

  55. 55
    NO SEATS NIGEL says:

    another ukip fail

  56. 56
    Geoffrey Robertson says:

    You ain’t seen me. Right?

  57. 57
    Rubbish. says:

    It’s a shame they have no respect for motorists, who pay taxes to employ plod, North Wales is full of camera’s and speeding signs and restrictions even in the middle of nowhere, they certainly make sure they have a speed camera’s on the border with England, road safety or collection of tolls, can’t be road safety as the driving is garbage and slow.

  58. 58
    ? says:

    We saw how the expenses scandal affected the 2010 election result let’s see how the P*do scandal affects 2015’s.
    We might even see the first LabCon coalition since WWII.

  59. 59
    táxpáyér says:

    The thing is there’s plenty of ways ( i deleted some here) to leave little history, but as I like a bit of MILF from time to time, I don’t bother.

  60. 60
    Whack-a-mole says:

    You have far too much time on your hands & probably an RSI.

  61. 61
    They are Prats says:

    Prats in the foreground. Just another opportunity for a selfie. Leave ‘em there for say, 24 hours, then take another. Compare and contrast.

  62. 62
    Admiral D Notice says:

    No document of this type can be ‘lost’. It takes a wilful act by someone to either destroy it or to bury by miss categorizing it. Someone will have had to sign off on the destruction of these files. Let’s hope the Plebian Police keep on it there is a smoking gun here and our elite know and are busy getting the ‘narrative’ right so they look good.

  63. 63
    le chat qui rit (suave qui purr) says:

    Jacques un a Sangatte!

  64. 64
    BBC 24hr rolling bollocks says:

    Johnny Morris’s animal impressions were rubbish they always sounded like the poor creature was being buggered by a broom…..Ooh hang on a cotton pickin minute.

  65. 65

    Also, the other Euro-Stars:

    Vote UKIP :-D

  66. 66
    Owen's Remedial maths teacher says:

    Perhaps Gheedough will publish a bar-chart of award winners with baseline minus 1 million and top of y-axis = 0

  67. 67
    Butthurt says:

    Tory MP was this, please?

  68. 68
    Butthurt says:

    There certainly is. They were potless pissheads.

  69. 69
    The British media are cunts says:

    It was a Eurotunnel shuttle that got stuck and evacuated.

  70. 70
    Bonar Law says:

    No, Guido, NOT “People’s Army spokesperson”. That’s the sort of crass political correctness we expect from Labour or the LibDems. You mean, “People’s Army SPOKESMAN”.

  71. 71
    Quelle surprise says:

    Ukip. No power.

  72. 72
    Banned says:

    Are you making an oblique reference to the Pussycat ?

  73. 73
    Hugh Janus says:

    Yep – when Merkel’s sturmtruppen are massing on the border all the Frogs’ll be straight down the pipe faster than you can say, “We withdraw from the EU free movement directive.”

    I’m surprised France didn’t do better at the olympics, having seen how fast they run at the first hint of Teutonic artillery fire. Perhaps if the athletics officials had used a German starting pistol…???

  74. 74

    IRONIC WHAT !??

    Germans recaptured the word “schadenfreude” from the English today when a GERMAN — no less — gloried in winning the London leg of the Tour de France by sprinting up The Mall.

    They ll probably win the Workd Cup the way they re going …

  75. 75

    Yes I think we are all beginning to sniff the sweet , pungent and unmistakeable odour of the Savanna regarding Elm House et al.

  76. 76

    What is ” buthurt” ? — a new defention facility proclivity ?

  77. 77
    Mycroft says:

    Untrue?!?!

    I think not.

    What has happened as the head of this run says, the 18yo is a smokescreen.

    You do understand what a smokescreen is don’t you.

    This is not some sort of fantastical fantasy, this is a real and sometimes deadly pass-time indulged in by people with no excuse to be unaware of their vileness.

    Children are being taken by Courts, placed into ‘care’, once in the system they become invisible, they do so because that in essence was the honourable idea behind the legislation allowing it to happen.

    You or I and even close family cannot find them, they not only disappear into the Court maze, but they ‘disappear’ entirely when there is a prolonged or persistent inquiry from relatives.

    For those with a mind to do wrong this is a ‘godsend’, it’s a twin-walled defence and safeguard.

    I feel you’ve not looked hard enough if you can’t see the patently obvious problem the rest of us see.

    Just my opinion, you may have reached the other side of the debate by fair means, if you have enlighten us as to why your ‘greater knowledge’ out-guns ours.

    I’ll read whatever you put up carefully and intently.

  78. 78
    Jack Ketch says:

    But it’s true

    Rare WWII-Era Photo of the Tour de France, 1940

  79. 79
    Anonymous says:

    “New UKIP MEP Left Stranded in Channel Tunnel”
    Lets hope someone filmed it. So they can show it at Xmas in place of the Great Escape.


Seen Elsewhere

100 Tories to Rebel on Plain Packs | Telegraph
May 2015 and the Art of Political Betting | MAY2015
Fate of Eurozone Rests in Hands of Videogame Expert | TechnoGuido
UKIP After Farage | Asa Bennett
Eichmann Called on Arabs to Continue War on Jews | Speccie
Mirror Hacking: 50 Legal Action Claims | Press Gazette
Mandy’s £400,000 Tax-Free Loan From Own Company | Guardian
Why We Must Remember the Holocaust | Hugo Rifkind
“Adjustments” Not Cuts | Gary Gibbon
The New Puritans | Alex Wickham
British Minister in Watch Gaffe | Straits Times


Rising Stars
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George Galloway says of his former Respect candidate the UKIP MEP turned Tory, Amjad Bashir…

“Clearly Bashir does not have any real political principles or commitment, only naked opportunism and self-interest. He represents the revolving door principle in politics. The Tories are welcome to him because he will cause them embarrassment. Fortunately Respect was able to act before he did it to us.”


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