July 4th, 2014

Ruffley: “I’m Cheerful” After Caution for Assaulting Woman

Guido bumped into a tired looking David Ruffley at the Spectator summer party last night. Given the circumstances (he has accepted a caution for assaulting his ex-girlfriend) it seemed polite to ask him how he was, “I’m cheerful,” was his surprising reply. Tension started to rise as the Tory MP then accused Guido of “inaccuracies” in our reporting, when pressed on what those inaccuracies were specifically he offered no specifics. He then went off in huff with the Sunday Times political editor. Ruffley later left Westminster’s Blue Boar bar with a leggy blonde around midnight…

Guido is reliably informed that Ruffley has gone into hack-schmoozing overdrive in the last two weeks, organising lunches with Lobby journalists, offering punchy and colourful off-the-record source quotes and briefing against fellow Tories. Indeed at last night’s bash he took journalists from several papers aside for one-on-one chats. Making himself useful to the papers is his cynically calculated way of making sure his own name stays out of them…


  1. 1
    Owen Jones QC says:

    Pensioner who is not Rolf Harris jailed for four years at Woolwich Crown Court for string of indecent assaults dating back to the 70s


  2. 2
    Dangerous Brian says:

    Translates to “I’m cheerfully still in my seat, cheerfully getting pissed on exes, cheerfully looking forward to a shag and cheerfully pleased that we at the “top” know how to look after each other when it counts. Cheers Guido”


  3. 3
    Owen Jones QC says:

    Sentencing will now take place at 13.45, according to His Honour Justice Guido Fawkes.


  4. 5
    Anonymous says:


    • 22
      Observing quietly says:

      … which is why he is adamant that he will not call Leon before his committee to answer a question or two.

      Methinks Vaz is beginning to get wet knickers over all this…


  5. 6
    Angela Eagle says:

    Why the emphasis on the victim being a woman
    I am always being told they can fight fart and fuck as well as any man.
    Surely that extends to taking a whack.
    Stop moaning girls take it ‘Like a man’.


  6. 7
    BBC Red Bottom says:

    If you say Owen Jones’ name three times very quickly, he will appear in the newsroom.


    • 13
      Whack-a-mole says:

      I prefer to stick a finger down my throat – it works just as well as the sight/sound of OJ Simpleton.


  7. 8
    Well, SOMEONE Had To Do This Joke says:

    Ruffley Ruffley Schmoozey Donkey.


  8. 9
    Chukka Umbrella says:

    Go Team Wisconsin!


  9. 10
    Unlucky Alf says:

    He sounds like a bit of a cuunt.


  10. 12
    Owen Jones QC says:

    Rolf Harris’ defence team asking for the judge to take his age into account when sentencing.
    Just like Rolf didn’t when offending…


    • 27
      Biffo says:

      Liked the pleas about his ill health, his missus’ ill-health, him being her main carer etc etc. Real attempt for the old sympathy vote. Didn’t get him very far though did it? He’d have done much better to admit to it all & express deep regret at the beginning. Rubbishing the women’s claims & then being found guilty – well. We all make mistakes but he seemed to keep on making them. Sad for his family.


  11. 14
    shaken not stirred says:

    Are the West Indians being ‘ethnically cleansed’ from yet another part of Birmingham by the muslims? The violence between them is getting worse but the media aren’t telling it like it is.

    Meanwhile, where’s Liam Brittan these days? Anyone seen Greville Janner recently?


  12. 15
    Jimmy says:

    “Given the circumstances (he has accepted a caution for assaulting his ex-girlfriend) it seemed polite to ask him how he was”

    He’s harder hitting than you are.


  13. 16
    Andrew Speed, roughly an apologist says:

    We expect our man Ruffley to beat the opposition with the same gusto he has shown with his missus.


  14. 18
    Dumb Dave says:

    Withdraw the whip? As if.


  15. 19
    yawn says:



  16. 20

    Maybe she deserved it?


  17. 24

    Guido was lucky not to get a whacking. This extremely Dishonourable geez is off fleshing the press.


  18. 25
    tories are cunts says:

    Ruffley’s behaviour is very reminiscent of most tories – scumbags the lot of ‘em


  19. 28
    Anonymous says:

    “the Tory MP then accused Guido of “inaccuracies” in our reporting, when pressed on what those inaccuracies were specifically he offered no specifics.”
    Don’t you just love politicians? Ever ready with an answer to anything, except a straight question.


  20. 29

    My MP is just as smugly complacent. Politics just seems to attract these kind off people.


Media Reader

No Charges After Two Years On Bail | Patrick Foster
Tabloids’ Reporting of Robin Williams Not Excessive | David Banks
Beeb’s Purnell Still Spinning Hard | David Keighley
BBC Protection Racket Should Be Shut Down | Dan Hodges
JC Donates Tricycle Cash to Israel Charity | JC
BBC Tries to Interview ISIS About Jumanji | Breitbart
BBC Blows £35,000 on PR Firms | Asa Bennett
Buzzfeed Lands $50 Million Investment | Reuters
More Rot in the Independent | Chris McGovern
Twitter is the Medium of the Political Establishment | Staggers
Damian Thompson New Speccie Associate Editor | Speccie

Westbourne-Change-Opinion hot-button

Damian McBride offers some more of his helpful advice:

‘Mr Miliband will not survive the televised leaders’ debates trying to have it both ways on every policy from Syria to an EU referendum. The prime minister may be entirely wrong on issues such as HS2, but at least his position is clear.The Labour leader’s attempt to keep his options open is all very well, but to what end? If he thinks he can avoid taking any big decisions until he’s securely installed in Downing Street, Mr Miliband unfortunately hasn’t a prayer.’

Owen Jones says:

We also need Zil lanes.

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