July 4th, 2014

Friday Caption Contest (Want You Back Edition)


112 Comments

  1. 1
    Gerry Mandering says:

    I see the resemblance now…you are Nigel Farage’s love child.

    Vote UKIP for a virile government.

  2. 2
    Owen Jones QC says:

    “Dishface Cameron” Where will Boris stand? Hertsmere straight in as new favourite. http://wp.me/p4Dp6d-fC

  3. 3
    Old Salvo says:

    So if you teach me the back hand I’ll give you one.

  4. 4
    Mycroft says:

    “Pay your Tax”

    “F’ck-off”

  5. 5
    Dave says:

    Hey gazzer dude, fancy coming back to ours later and we can play ‘Pin a tail on the Donkey’

  6. 6
    Cabbage says:

    Did you let the black bloke in?

  7. 7
    EWOK says:

    Want to hear a joke about my negotiating skills?

  8. 8
    Oo-er says:

    A few of my old chums were in Boyzone

  9. 9
    MEOW says:

    Celebrity wife swap? You are on mate!

  10. 10
    MEOW says:

    Can you see George after? He needs a few tips.

  11. 11
    Senior civil servant says:

    “And this is how I shot golden eagles in the Bullingdon club…”

  12. 12
    Margaret Beckett says:

    Looks like SamCam fell out of the ugly tree and hit every branch on the way down.

  13. 13
    Anonymous says:

    Did you nick my false teeth ?

  14. 14
    Cockney Joke says:

    Rolf: I’m a famous celebrity. Do you wanna come on my boat?

  15. 15
    Unlucky Alf says:

    Looks like a tortoise :)

  16. 16
    Anonymous says:

    Want to hear the joke that IS my negotiating skills?

  17. 17
    Jimmy says:

    I guess now it’s time for me to give up, I feel it’s time

  18. 18
    Brian Moore says:

    ‘You are Bary Garlow, and I claim my €100…!’

  19. 19
    Mr Owl says:

    More like a peedo who’s also a nutter.

  20. 20
    Steve Miliband says:

    Tool Britannia

  21. 21
    Anonymous says:

    You were the future once

  22. 22
    Ghost of Leon says:

    Have you got the Dossier on Simon Cowell ?

  23. 23
    Tired of it all says:

    Chukka asked if you would duet “Wichita Lineman” with him.

  24. 24
    Welshracer says:

    Dc “Oh my friend Andy also has a criminal record too”

  25. 25
    Corry O'Lanus says:

    “You droppin’ me like ‘Honest Andy’ Big Dave?”

    “In public yeah…sorry dude…especially if George’s tax boys take you down”

  26. 26

    “Of course I know who you are!”

  27. 27
    Alexei Romanov says:

    Haven’t I seen you on the HMRC’s most wanted list?!

  28. 28
    David Spameron says:

    Repaired potholes are excellent news ForHardworkinPeople.

  29. 29
    Dave the Rave says:

    I told you, you’re effing barred, now get out.

  30. 30

    “You book the room while I’ll ditch the beard.”

  31. 31
    Jean Claude Junker says:

    Gary Barlow:

    “Hey Dave, that handsome man, Jean Claude Junker didn’t half make a Hunt out of you, didn’t he?”

  32. 32
    David Spameron says:

    Whatever I said, whatever I did, I didn’t mean it.

  33. 33

    Never mind Jimmy, you tried your best.

  34. 34
    Whack-a-mole says:

    Come on Gaz I’ve taken my teeth out now wallop it in.

  35. 35
    David Spameron says:

    Tax doesn’t have to be taxing, my dad taught me that!

  36. 36
    Piss-poor Comedian says:

    Sir, you farted in front of my wife!

    I’m sorry, I didn’t know it was her turn.

  37. 37
    Dave the Rave says:

    A fiver says she’s in my bed before yours? You’re on!

  38. 38
    Corry O'Lanus says:

    “aha 7×8?”

    “errr….”

    “Gotcha -take that!! Explains the tax fella (-;…pip pip!!”

  39. 39
    The Growler says:

    Dave Boy, ” I know you, let me guess”

  40. 40
    Rickytshirt says:

    Hey Gary, fancy being my next coalition partner? Cause #You and me we can ride on a star. If you stay with me girl, we can rule the wooooorld!#

  41. 41
    David Spameron says:

    As my pater used to say “Tax doesn’t have to be taxing”.

  42. 42
    Vote Dave? Get stuffed says:

    And this time next year, Dave, you’ll be the Ex-factor.

  43. 43
    Steve Miliband says:

    Are you still selling cars or was that Moyles?

  44. 44
    Dave says:

    “Robbie! Hi!”

  45. 45
    Mycroft says:

    “Take That” meets “Fake Twat”… confusion reigns.

  46. 46
    Dave the Rave says:

    Yes, I remember I owe you a tenner Gary. And you owe me…

  47. 47
    Bill Quango MP says:

    I wouldn’t worry about it .. I just have the lawyers give Google a call and its all erased ..

  48. 48
    Anonymous says:

    > HERE IS ALL I WANT OUT OF LIFE AT THIS TIME..
    > >
    > > Borders
    > > Closed to further immigration.
    > >
    > > Illegal immigrants
    > > Found, stopped and sent back.
    > >
    > > National Commitment
    > > Re-establish National Service
    > >
    > > Parliament
    > > Obey its own laws and ask politicians keep their promises or have them disqualified
    > > from further election.
    > > No programs scheduled to start past the next election.
    > >
    > > Dual Citizenship
    > > Abolished (you’re either British or something else. If you’re something
    > > else, be a visitor then leave when your visa runs out.)
    > >
    > > Language
    > > English, Welsh, Gaelic only.
    > >
    > > Flags
    > > Illegal to display another flag except for consulates and embassies.
    > >
    > > Culture
    > > Respect the British culture, and stop immigrants trying to change it into
    > > the mess left back in their own countries. Stop trying to change us!
    > >
    > > Drug Free
    > > Mandatory Drug Screening before Welfare Benefits!
    > >
    > > NO Freebies to Non-Citizens.
    > >
    > > Look after British BEFORE donating to other countries.
    > >
    > > No British welfare for any country that is developing nukes or spending
    > > more than a reasonable amount on arms.
    > >
    > > Bring all British soldiers home let the rest of the world sort out their
    > > own problems!
    > >
    > > British pensioners before all other nations.

  49. 49
    Bill Quango MP says:

    The two behind behind me? no idea..security or catering I suppose…

  50. 50
    Bill Quango MP says:

    Right .. and what does Barlow say in reply?

  51. 51
    wind rush says:

    I do not work.
    Try chemical romance.

  52. 52
    Anonymous says:

    Call me old fashioned but I don’t like seeing rock starts look like politicians

  53. 53
    Dr Death says:

    What a quality manifesto, run with it my friend its a winner…any one of the current fuckers come a knocking will get a copy of that shoved in their face… this has made my day thank you…

  54. 54
    Wishin' and Hopein' says:

    A UK government would need guts to implement that in this multinational mess of a country..

    So it ain’t going to happen.

  55. 55
    Anonymous says:

    He has something of the turtle’s head about him.

  56. 56
    UN council says:

    We must honour Owen with a UN Special Envoy status

  57. 57
    Parole Officer tbd says:

    On release is he going back (deported) to Australia?

  58. 58
    Winston says:

    Yo! Bro! Me and the ho dig your tunez, coz we ain’t no elitist.

  59. 59
    Norm Normal says:

    Ah so Barlow….you thought you hid your tax for good?

  60. 60
    Parole Officer tbd says:

    Released where.
    Back in Australia?

  61. 61
    MEOW says:

    “Bring me sunshine ………..”

  62. 62
    The Great British Public says:

    Cameron-
    “So I said to Merkel in that boat, the Great British public have got a gun to my head, just like this, if you let Juncker win, my negotiating stance on the EU will be in tatters….”

  63. 63
    MEOW says:

    ” we fill in potholes for the little people ….who might fall in ‘em har har!”

  64. 64
    MEOW says:

    “You know that you’re paying for this now …..”

  65. 65

    “All I do each night is pray….”

  66. 66
    cured lefty says:

    Gary the only thing your pulling is my finger.

  67. 67
    Tianavaig says:

    How am I going to get paid if you won’t pay your taxes

  68. 68
    Chris Grayling says:

    I am now the molestor for fish and justice.
    All the British fishermen understand that I am fucked right up my bureaucratic fundament.
    My pension is secure.
    FU.

  69. 69
    Bosun Higgs says:

    (Together) “Hey, you look older and shorter in real life.”

  70. 70
    Bosun Higgs says:

    Free association time at Wandsworth will never be the same again.

  71. 71
    David B says:

    Tax Avoidance is Good

  72. 72

    Dave: ‘Oi you Hunt, are you looking at my bird?’

  73. 73
    Tax Efficient says:

    I can recommend a good tax advisor

  74. 74
    Mr Anonymous says:

    Dave: I can’t stand all these personal attacks on me.

    Gary: I can’t stand all these personal taxes on me, either.

  75. 75
    MEOW says:

    Sorry Gary we cant have you as a candidate for MP – you havent slapped up a girlfriend yet

  76. 76
    Mr Anonymous says:

    Dave: No, Gary, I said I was in need of a good attack dog after Mitchell resigned… not a good tax dodge.

  77. 77
    Paul Bishop says:

    So, you didn’t mind coming in the tradesman’s entrance? It’s almost as if you went to Eton.

  78. 78
    Snotsicle says:

    Any idea where my wife is? One of the army guys asked her to model their new jungle camouflage and I haven’t seen her since.

  79. 79
    Snotsicle says:

    Winner

  80. 80
    daveyone1 says:

    “Now I have sacked Coulson, do you want the job?” Poison challis edition

  81. 81
    Chris Grayling says:

    She now votes green. Move to Brightoyryboy

  82. 82

    ‘I’m a Bullshitter myself, but I like to hear a real professional at it. So I will carry on!!’

  83. 83
    Fees Office Clerk says:

    Cameron: “Let me guess…..you’re Robbie Williams”

  84. 84
    Ohthisbloodypc says:

    Who won that Bacon Sandwich caption competition anyway?

  85. 85
    whodoyouthinkyouare says:

    Tax That

  86. 86
    Max Clifford's Bellend says:

    Bang…Bang…

    “you got me”

  87. 87
    ed milliband/nick clegg/david cameron says:

    Look dave; if anyone is going to piss my money up the wall on cack handed, fuck witted brain dead schemes it’s going to be me

  88. 88
    a non says:

    The ‘Unlikely Lads’ reunion?

  89. 89
    MEOW says:

    Was that one yours?

  90. 90
    Guardian Media Group says:

    Cameron — “get youself a bloody shave you scruffy bastard”

    Luvvie —-” bu’I’m wearin’ a tie”

  91. 91
    Take This says:

    Weren’t you popular a long time ago?

  92. 92

    GB The only folk who used to come here were whores and footballers.

    DC What position do you play?

  93. 93
    Dave says:

    Guard, this is the one who nicked her watch…

  94. 94
    England Chewing on a shit sanwich for 300 years and about to get worse with this lying twat says:

    I say if the Scots have got the best of both ,what does that leave the English with Jock?

  95. 95
    Doonhamer says:

    Can you give me the name of your hair restorer?

  96. 96
    David Cameltoe says:

    “Don’t give me any of that ‘three back at yourself’ rot. I’ll jolly well point at you any time I damned please, and there’s not a bloody thing you can tell me…”

  97. 97
    Barlow biffs a bufo says:

    You’re no Farage, are you.

  98. 98
    Salmond's tum says:

    England can have the moslemites.

  99. 99
    Anonymous says:

    Mustapha Cohen?

  100. 100
    JFT96 says:

    DC : Everything changes but you

    Barlow : we’re a thousand miles apart but I still love you

  101. 101
    Gaz says:

    Nah, but I’d give “Brown stoned cowboy” a go.

  102. 102
    Vote UKIP says:

    It’s a goody.

  103. 103
    Gaz says:

    Vote Tory? I may have a poor taste in music, but I’m not a moron.

  104. 104
    Liam & Noel says:

    Watch it!

  105. 105
    Liam & Noel says:

    Ee by ‘eck, that reminds me of the old days when I used to nip off down to t’Downing St, to suck off t’Tony Bliar.

  106. 106
    Anonymous says:

    Which one of them is saying that?

  107. 107
    Ghost of Jimmy says:

    I gave it to Rolf

  108. 108
    Anonymous says:

    Dc: If you’d paid your tax we wouldn’t have had to go to the Oxfam shop to furnish this room.

  109. 109
    Anonymous says:

    “Friday Caption Contest (Want You Back Edition)”
    Or should that be: But want your backing, more. Especially now Dave and Rupert’s Old Boy’s Band has just been broken up.

  110. 110
    disgusted of tunbridge wells says:

    Pull this and write the lyrics to a rocking fart, Gary baby.

  111. 111
    disgusted of tunbridge wells says:

    Pull this and write the lyrics to a rocking fart, Gary baby.

  112. 112
    Anonymous says:

    Vote for me and i shall cut your tax’s *wink wink nudge nudge*


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