July 3rd, 2014

SPEAKER WATCH: Pointless Parliamentary Vanity Prizes

Browsing the Parliamentary Intranet, as is his wont, Guido has come across the ‘The Diversity and Inclusion Awards’ that took place on Monday. Another Bercow wheeze that we are paying for. “All parliamentary passholders are eligible to be recognised by the annual award”, and apparently the judges “had a hard job to choose from the high calibre of nominations, over 40 of which were submitted.” Don’t all rush at once.

Congratulations to all the worthy winners, in these powerful categories:

Embedding Equality, Diversity and Inclusion
Runner-up: Martin Smith (Deputy Business Relationship Manager, PICT)
Winner: John Thursfield (Portfolio Manager, DHRC) and Salma Dean (Peer’s staff)

Catalyst for Change
Runner-up: Polly Meeks (Inquiry Manager, International Development Committee, DCCS)
Winner: Catherine Tyack (Joint Clerk, Public Administration Select Committee, DCCS)

Most Improved in Access and Inclusion
Runner-up: Dane Smith (Visits Officer, Parliamentary Education Service, DIS)
Winner: Tony Williams (House of Commons Information Office, DIS)

Inspiring Role Model
Runner-up: Tom Goldsmith (Head of the Office of the Chief Executive, OCE)
Winner: Abiola Babalola (Senior Management Accountant, DF)

Special Recognition Award
The judges also conferred a Special Recognition Award to someone who was noted for having made a number of contributions to different areas of Parliament, including work on equality analyses across Parliament, support to individuals, and co-chairing of ParliOUT.
Winner: Jenny Radcliffe (Business Change and Project Manager, Security Arrangements Renewal Programme, Office of the Parliamentary Security Director)

 The only catalyst for any change that Guido can see here, is towards a new speaker. 


54 Comments

  1. 1
    Little Johnny B13COW says:

    Squeak, squeak.

  2. 2
    Punter says:

    ‘Most Improved in Access and Inclusion’

    My local knocking shop has won that.

  3. 3
  4. 4
    Punter says:

    ‘Abiola Babalola (Senior Management Accountant, DF)’

    I had an e-mail from this person offering me $10,000,000,000 for my current account details.

  5. 5

    I was trying so hard for the diversity award by shagging loads of monkeys

  6. 6
    At least Osborne is normal.. says:

  7. 7
    Free money says:

  8. 8
    Chuka ( you can call me Harrison ) Urmunneyaround says:

    Who won the Pointless Parliamentary Vanity Prick Prize ?

  9. 9
    Song 4 Chuks says:

  10. 10
    Abiola Babalola says:

    You think I’m bad meet my brother Ebola

  11. 11
    Smugness personified says:

  12. 12
    Ed Balls - Shallow Chancer says:

    4 ?

  13. 13
    ISIS PR Wonk (temp) 3rd in Charge (Acting Up) Part Time says:

    No need for us to do anything in the UK, the lefty terrorísts in the Government are causing more damage than we ever could.

  14. 14
    Coat Tail Holder designate. says:

    On day I’ll be there *dreams*

  15. 15
    Curtain material shirt says:

  16. 16
    Sally says:

    Don’t wipe your knob on the curtains John

  17. 17
    Grammar School Boy says:

    Can someone not get a few thick cushions for him to sit on? You know like a child’s seat in a decent barber’s shop…

  18. 18
    Executive Summary says:

    Aka – Corporate Masturbation

  19. 19
    Office of Bercow but not john says:

    Guido does not like Bercow

  20. 20
    Albert's chainsaw sharpeners says:

    Surely it would be cheaper to award all these people with a P45 and ask them to get a real job, say as a bus driver or a garage attendant or picking daises or rhododendrons, I suppose they have staff already going around the empty lockers and opening locked doors to count the skeletons, as they don’t make laws anymore and have sold their jobs to the EU, close the place down and maybe we can save a few shillings .

  21. 21
    Executive Summary says:

    A man of taste.

  22. 22
    Ed Miliband says:

    7 x 8 has increased by 300% during this cost of living crisis.

  23. 23
    Executive Summary says:

    All of them?

  24. 24
    Dave Axelrod says:

    So this PMQ’s is when your British prime minster has to answer pathetic miliband questions?

  25. 25
    Lord Gassbag says:

    That Ed Miliband is a total loser..A useless, wonky, pseudo-intellectual git.

  26. 26
    Lord Gassbag says:

    No..I mean .. he’s a giant..A great man..A deep political thinker and a powerhouse for the Labour party.

  27. 27
    Anonymous says:

    What has Bercow ever done for other midgets?

  28. 28
    Executive Summary says:

    Savant

  29. 29
    And Peedo of the year award goes to says:

    Won’t be long now.

  30. 30
    Lord Gassbag says:

    Nope…I’ve changed my mind..The first one…That’s the correct one.

  31. 31
    The Growler says:

    Ahhh Geedes you didn’t get an award and you a passholder, what is the world coming to. What about an award as the biggest political muck raker and tittle tattle miner , the champion ne’er do well exposer merchant in the HoC

  32. 32
    He's not Happy says:

  33. 33
    Fuck you London! says:

  34. 34
    gildedtumbril says:

    Traitors all. Diversity is perversity.
    Damn them all to hell.

  35. 35
    Ed Miliband (Comedian) says:

    Midgets make bad householders as they struggle to put food on the table.

    Especially during this cost of living crisis.

  36. 36
    Cynthis Payne says:

    If you think that’s rich… What about the woman who fetches all that Black mans spunk home for him!
    She’s probably having it away with the best part of £200K gets a free house, free electricity,gas and water. And to top it all gets a personalised number plate for her fully expensed car.

  37. 37
    nell says:

    Well at least we are heading into that most sensible and peaceful part of the annual parliamentary cycle, the summer recess, when they all clear off home until October and leave the country to capably run itself without their interference.

  38. 38
    Former insider says:

    I worked there over twenty years ago and the pleb class(cleaners,security and catering staff etc)was already very inclusive.
    Why has it taken the PC common purpose crowd in charge so long to catch up?

  39. 39
    Fucking dis custard says:

    I’m a one legged black lesbian, why didn’t I win a prize

  40. 40
    He's not Happy says:

  41. 41
    Housekeeper to the Bercows says:

    Midgets and dogs don’t mix in households.

    Dogs can’t have their meal in a bowl and eat it.
    Midgets suffer from mistaken identity all the time from the male dogs.
    Normal people have extra things to trip them up. Their homes becomes a hazard.

  42. 42
    Anonymous says:

    twitter account is off

  43. 43
    Cynic says:

    Do they employ a widget counting manager?

    Or a Diversity Interrelations Education Feminist Collective Liaison Officer (Grade IIIa)?

  44. 44
    Cynic says:

    Cos you arent Muslim, Irish, Gay and Chinese at the same time

  45. 45
    MEOW says:

    As the Mouse Eradication Officer (Westminster Chapter) of the National Federation of Feline Pest Controllers (NFFPC) I protest at not being recognized.

    Just cause I am of mixed race (Persian Tom / Romanian Mother) and got into the UK in the back of a lorry load of cucumbers from Valencia it doesn’t mean that I don’t have feelings – and claws

  46. 46
    Poor John says:

    Who the fuck does? Not even his wife as witnessed by her galavanting.

  47. 47
    Anonymous says:

    Was MP Mike Hancock’s Russian Lady eligible to be nominated ?

  48. 48
    I know the answer says:

    £42,00 of that is because (a) you look a total prick and (b) who wants to stand right behind Bercow when he farts (which is often)?

  49. 49
    F O & D says:

    Were you complaining when it was Gorballs Mick?

    No. You fucking weren’t.

  50. 50
    Eastern European Cleaners inc says:

    So you don’t want me to keep holding this cushion over his face?

  51. 51
    Stu says:

    Come on Guido I love this blog but you made this one up.

    Embedding Equality, Diversity and Inclusion
    Runner-up: Martin Smith (Deputy Business Relationship Manager, PICT)
    Winner: John Thursfield (Portfolio Manager, DHRC) and Salma Dean (Peer’s staff)

    Catalyst for Change
    Runner-up: Polly Meeks (Inquiry Manager, International Development Committee, DCCS)
    Winner: Catherine Tyack (Joint Clerk, Public Administration Select Committee, DCCS)

    Most Improved in Access and Inclusion
    Runner-up: Dane Smith (Visits Officer, Parliamentary Education Service, DIS)
    Winner: Tony Williams (House of Commons Information Office, DIS)

    Inspiring Role Model
    Runner-up: Tom Goldsmith (Head of the Office of the Chief Executive, OCE)
    Winner: Abiola Babalola (Senior Management Accountant, DF)

    Special Recognition Award
    The judges also conferred a Special Recognition Award to someone who was noted for having made a number of contributions to different areas of Parliament, including work on equality analyses across Parliament, support to individuals, and co-chairing of ParliOUT.
    Winner: Jenny Radcliffe (Business Change and Project Manager, Security Arrangements Renewal Programme, Office of the Parliamentary Security Director)

    I knew Bercow was a crass politically correct little prick but this stuff is just fantasy.

  52. 52
    Nigel's Father says:

    Why wasn’t there an award for the clown who polishes Dave’s arsehole after all that licking?

  53. 53
    England: the world's rubbish tip. says:

    Who the fuck in their right mind would want anything to do with that poxy pc bollocks?

  54. 54
    Polly Toynbee ate my hamster says:

    better than any emetic


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