July 3rd, 2014

Finally a Politician Begs for Expenses Forgiveness

Japanese politician Ryutaro Nonomura has committed career harakiri, spectacularly bursting into tears at a press conference over questions about him fiddling his expenses:

Guido would like to see this level of remorse a little closer to home…

UPDATE: In GIF form:


49 Comments

  1. 1
    Ghost of Leon says:

    Not a chance !

    Like

    • 6
      Alas, Poor Albion says:

      It is not remorse: it is shame, haji.

      Like

      • 11
        Gordon McAbsent says:

        I bet that Jap even turns up to work occasionally!

        Like

      • 12
        Alas, Poor Albion says:

        The point of the distinction being that the lowlife scumbag feels sorry not for those he robbed, but for the ostracism he, and his family, will suffer.

        Like

      • 12
        Anonymous says:

        It’s a shame that most of our politicos don’t show any remorse.

        Like

        • 14
          Alas, Poor Albion says:

          Remorse is easily faked. It’s very hard to fake imprisonment, though.

          Like

          • Bill Quango MP says:

            I remember Denis McShane telling me years ago when I became an MP that

            ” the greatest asset a politician can have is sincerity.

            Fake that and you’ve got it made.”

            Liked by 1 person

          • WoRaft Chihuahua says:

            I thought most of our open prisons faked imprisonment? It seems very easy to walk out of them and not particularly arduous when they are in. They can only be called ‘prisons’ for PR effect.

            Being left on Rockall and told to make do with eggs and guano, that’s a proper open prison.

            Like

          • Alas, Poor Albion says:

            @ WoRaft Chihuahua. I applaud your redefinition of open imprisonment. This would have the added benefit of boosting the popularity of the Shipping Forecast: ‘There are warnings of gales in Rockall, …’ would significantly improve the mood of the nation.

            Like

      • 28
        Schwarzenegger says:

        Gott in Himmel – He iz ein wurst actor zan me!

        Like

      • 46
        I'm actually ejaculating as you read this message says:

        Shibaku zo boke! Ketsu keru zo!

        Like

  2. 2
    Charlie's Dead says:

    Guido as always at least 24 hours behind the rest of the world.

    Like

    • 9
      I spy a dead tree newspaper hack says:

      Awkward.

      Like

      • 16
        Ian boring snoring Katz. says:

        This will be ideal for the last item on my dumbed-down Newsnight tonight. Who cares if everybody’s already seen it?

        Like

        • 25
          13 year old producer says:

          But you promised we could do an interview aboutn the global economic outlook with the Mighty Morphin’ Power Rangers!!

          Like

        • 29
          Yoof innit says:

          The BBC used to target their programmes by IQ – now they do it by age and political leanings.

          Like

  3. 3
    Elliot Morley says:

    I’m gutted.

    Like

  4. 4
    Cathy Newman says:

    This morning the great Gordon brown, who helped shield the UK region of the EU from the right-wing, white male evil capitalist GLOBAL (except China, India, Australia, Brazil) financial crisis wrote me a message asking for a job at C4News.

    I want to know – why did he write “Dear Doris”? And why does everyone in the office now call me Doris?

    Like

    • 10
      Ed "Sturmbannführer" Balls says:

      You don’t look much like a Doris.
      More an Eva.

      With the hair in the Fraulein style and the jackboots and that..

      I find it very attractive

      Like

      • 15
        Yvette "Kriminalobersekretär" Balls says:

        if you think you’re getting the leather basque with the full stockings, cuffs and whip tonight, you can forget it!

        Like

      • 19
        Cathy "Doris"Newman says:

        Du solltest mich in Lederhose sehen.

        Like

        • 22
          Ed "Sturmbannführer" Balls says:

          Phwoor! Ich wette, Sie haben sehr dunkle, braune Brustwarzen?

          Like

          • Cathy "Doris"Newman says:

            Komm her und finden Sie heraus, großer Junge!

            Like

          • joekano76 says:

            I see Class IVg of Eton have had their internet access restored again tonight.

            Liked by 1 person

          • Bill Quango MP says:

            Its Houses at Eton. Not classes.

            Walpole, Godolphin, College etc.

            Its how you get your business name. Your prep school and your pulic school house.

            I am ‘Bristowe Stubbs’
            Guido looks like a ‘Spencer Mullins’, but i don’t really know.

            The Sturmbannführer there, would be ‘Bawburgh Keeble.’

            Like

  5. 5
    M­a­­q­b­o­­ul says:

    Don’t pay our lot any expenses. That’ll get them crying.

    Like

    • 26
      Axe The Telly Tax & Religion & Kill All Eco-loons says:

      They’ll just award themselves a huge pay rise instead.

      Like

  6. 7
    Mycroft says:

    A BAFTA awaits this man…

    Like

  7. 8
    Nick Clegg says:

    He’s not even in my league.

    “I’m..{hic}..so…so…{sob} ..so..Very sorry ..{boohoo..boohoo}”

    Noob.

    Like

  8. 17
  9. 18
  10. 20
    Vince Incableable says:

    I don’t remember Ryutaro Nonomura..

    No…seriously, I don’t.

    Is he the bloke on the moped that brings the sushi?

    Like

  11. 21
    • 47
      I'm actually ejaculating as you read this message says:

      O-shiri pen pen shite kudasaimasen ka, mama-san?

      Like

  12. 23
    Reimer says:

    Japanese-style ritual disembowelling a few of them might get their attention. Could even shut Yvette and Hattie up.

    Like

  13. 24
    it's the way i tell 'em says:

    What do they call a disgraced Japanese politician throwing himself off a tall building?

    A nip in the air.

    Like

  14. 31
    Chuka says:

    Pass me the Wichita sauce.

    Like

  15. 32
    Chukka says:

    I can’t comment now I’m in Wichita

    Like

  16. 33
    MPs fail at Geography says:

    So We now have Diane Abbott who didn’t know where Newark was and Chuka who thinks Worcester is Witchita.

    And they want to represent the people of Britain?

    Like

  17. 34
    Restless in Godalming says:

    I would love to see the One-eyed Scottish Loon and Son of the Manse wail begging forgiveness for giving our gold away and pissing the economy up the wall.

    Long wait, I guess…

    Like

  18. 38
    The Blokes a C*nt says:

    Look closer and you can just see Ed Miliband

    Like

  19. 39
    Anonymous says:

    Drama Queen, pure and simple.

    Like

  20. 40

    Finally! One politician out of the thousands world wide.

    Like

  21. 44
    Anonymous says:

    He was only asked “what was 7 X 8 “?

    Like

  22. 45
    Ken M says:

    If you commit seppuku with a blunt sword and have NO retainer to cut off your head, we may forgive you.

    Like


Seen Elsewhere

Bribes, Lies and Curry in Tower Hamlets | Standard
Tory MP Breaks Cover on Canberra Crisis | BBC
Labour MP: Wimmin’ Stop Us Bombing ISIS | Speccie
Peace Envoy Arrives on Italian Coast | Mail
Golden Age of Trusting Politicians is a Myth | Irish Times
More Ed Criticism | Damian McBride
Hague to Weigh into Bercow’s Canberra Crisis | Times
Shadow Cabinet: Who’ll Johnson & Darling Replace? | Labour Uncut
Damian McBride’s Spinning Against Ed Miliband | John Rentoul
Boris Fails the Character Test for Social Conservatives | Laura Perrins
No Charges After Two Years On Bail | Patrick Foster


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Damian McBride offers some more of his helpful advice:

‘Mr Miliband will not survive the televised leaders’ debates trying to have it both ways on every policy from Syria to an EU referendum. The prime minister may be entirely wrong on issues such as HS2, but at least his position is clear.The Labour leader’s attempt to keep his options open is all very well, but to what end? If he thinks he can avoid taking any big decisions until he’s securely installed in Downing Street, Mr Miliband unfortunately hasn’t a prayer.’



Owen Jones says:

We also need Zil lanes.


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