July 2nd, 2014

GUY NEWS SPECIAL: David Ruffley: The Voters’ Verdict


  1. 1

    That feeling of deja vu keeps coming back again and again…

  2. 2
    cured lefty says:

    Whats the problem nigel hit on men……oh yes men.

  3. 3
    lescrompsblogg says:

    Kick the fucker out

  4. 4
    DrVon2 says:

    Get them all to sign this petition then. http://epetitions.direct.gov.uk/petitions/56449

  5. 5


  6. 6
    Pookie Snackumberger says:

    You can say that again.

  7. 7
    LUDICROUS says:

    He should not have accepted a caution.

    What are the police for?

    Why are the police now acting as go betweens and self proclaimed judges in what are essentially arguments?

    Why are the police devoting 50% of their time to facebook and Twitter disputes?

    By accepting a caution this cowardly MP has perpetuated the police’s share grab as a uniformed branch of RELATE.

  8. 8

  9. 9

    Classic example of why a recall mechanism is needed – a proper one, not the toothless nonsense they are proposing.

  10. 10
    A nice Camermong interlude before elevenses says:

  11. 11
    Now that is a Good Idea. Ban Ramadan says:

  12. 12
    Morgan's Organ says:

    As George W would say ‘Yeo Ruuffley!’ What is it about Suffolk that they elect such arrogant arses?

  13. 13
    England is becumin a ferd world cess-pit innit says:

    For the first time in five years or so i tuned into Newsnight last night,,,and was instantly assailed by a bunch of leftist filth who were all highly indignant that the proles can’t see Millirat as a PM

    Maitliss, Lord Adonis, R Sylvester and the vile Hasan were all seemingly disgusted that the Marxist rat will only scrape into No10 next May, at least on the current polling evidence.

    Obviously the cumulative effect of Union corruption, relentless BBC lies, and third world postal voting fraud may make Millirat’s victory more comfortable than seems likely at the moment.

    I turned it off after five minutes of course

  14. 14
    Because they ain't in the EU Den says:

  15. 15
    Alf Garnett says:

    Spot on. I can’t think of an instance where the power of recall would be more appropriate than with this particular MP and his behaviour.

  16. 16
    UKIP is the only way to vote says:

    I thought advertising was banned on the bBBC, if so why are we getting this tennis garbage on every couple of minutes, time the bBBC went to a modern way of collecting money to pay to run it and allowed people to make their mind up not to pay for the trash that we are forced to pay for even though we don’t watch it, remember you need a bBBC licence even to watch SKY or any other companies.

  17. 17
    ? says:

    What’s wrong with the integration idea we’ve been using for the last 60 years?
    You know the one?
    Lower standards across the board thus making the uncivilised behaviour of any newcomers look normal.

  18. 18
    Anonymous says:

    They do not want to be “integrated”

    They do not want our land laws to apply to them. Schooling laws, building laws they want to live in the same physical place, but not be integrated in the tax system etc.

    We should be fighting for the same degree of freedom they get.

  19. 19
    Axe The Telly Tax & Religion & Kill All Eco-loons says:

    As more and more of the world’s 7 billion (and rising) people demand a Western standard of living, which means an ever increasing demand for energy and mineral resources coupled with a finite dwindling supply, it doesn’t take a degree in rocket science to predict the future of the human race as soon as demand outstrips supply.

    1. Resource wars breakout (some of which could go nuclear).

    2. Governments try to enforce rationing leading to riots.

    3. Governments ban and confiscate all motor cars,commercial airliners etc in order to prioritise remaining fuel for mechanised agriculture (combine harvesters and tractors).

    4. Mechanised agriculture eventually grinds to a halt and mass starvation ensues.

    5. Only about 1 in 50 people survive to end up living a feudal agricultural existence, exactly as we did before the industrial revolution.

    6. The human race remains in this state until we are wiped out by a passing comet/asteroid or the Sun becomes to hot for life on Earth.

    Game Over!

    There are already signs that the tipping point (demand exceeding supply) has been reached for oil & gas.

    1. Fracking for gas is gathering pace worldwide.

    2. The USA is dipping into its oil reserve.

    3 Oil rich Arab countries are pumping seawater into their wells to extract the last dregs.

    4. All UK households must by law have smart meters fitted by 2020 (ready for government monitoring and rationing etc).

  20. 20
  21. 21
    Milibandwagon says:

    I wouldn’t be surprised if Miliband stands up at PMQs today and blames Cameron for not stopping Rolf Harris.

  22. 22
    Look on the bright side says:

  23. 23
    Pookie Snackumberger says:

    Another labour peer gives us his thoughts.

  24. 24
    Ping Pong the Muslim China bloke says:

    Oh dear I’ll have to eat this delicious cake at lunchtime.
    I feel oppressed.

  25. 25
    Rotheram says:

    You still shagging that hag Denis?

  26. 26
    Long John Silver's parrot says:

    Your Queen appears to have known about Harris for years.

    She would have mentioned it discreetly to Cameron at one of his meetings with her.

  27. 27
    ERIC PICKLES says:

    “You could stick a blue rosette on a pig and it would still win Bury St Edmunds”

    Absolute rubbish !

  28. 28

    A man who makes out he is an artist and then pops open a tin of Dulux definitely needs watching.

  29. 29
    11.9 says:

    You are stark raving bonkers, do not understand the difference between too and to and you haven’t got a clue about what the USA’s oil reserve is. Go back to bed and sleep it off.

  30. 30
    PC Plod says:

    It’s easier than catching villains. I don’t need to leave the station and I keep my clothes clean.

  31. 31

    Dear Mr Pickles

    Please ensure my rubbish bins are emptied this week.

  32. 32
    'We' this 'we' that and the other speak for yourself Mcshame says:

    Didn’t see you rushing to protect any fucker in Kosovo Denis just send some working class boy from Oop North to do it.
    You c*nt

  33. 33
    David Roughly says:

    i have a criminal record. No, not I’m A Barbie Girl.

  34. 34
    Adolf Butlin says:

    I’m building a nice holiday camp for them with big chimneys.

  35. 35
    Joss Ayinglike says:

    The bloke’s name is ‘Ruffley’.

    His girlfriend would have been fine if she’d gone out with Judge George Gently, clearly.

  36. 36

    Does John Prescott tinkle the ivories, I wonder?

  37. 37
    The Lone Ranger says:

    Be quiet! – for God’s sake don’t give the game away.

  38. 38
    Jean Claude Drunkard says:

    I am a piss artist and invite you to pop open a bottle of Dubonnet with me.

  39. 39

    I agree. Owning up to an offence and accepting a modest penalty is a bad choice.

  40. 40
    This is a Criminal Record says:

  41. 41
    I wont go hungry says:

    You can make sausages out of all sorts you know even fat chavs.
    Meat on the hoof so to speak.

  42. 42
    ruffley speaking says:

    ooh ‘e’s a caution!

  43. 43

    I’m frightened of them!

  44. 44
    Bram Stoker says:

    Giz a job

  45. 45
    Peterjobes says:

    How can Guy News travel down to Bury St Edmunds when it is up North East of Geedo Towers?

  46. 46
    Mother Nature says:

    Alternatively I am already toying with the idea of a nice new virus mutation. This will be transported worldwide within 24 hours by the airlines.

    90% of humans will be infected within a week. 50% dead within a fortnight. Only 1% left after one month.

    A very satisfactory virtual mass extinction of the most destructive species that I have unwisely allowed to evolve. End of problem.

  47. 47

    I went to Bury St Edmunds, but they told me he was still alive.

  48. 48
    Ed Balls (The Liberace of Doncaster) says:

  49. 49
    Curious says:

    Wiki is a bit short on detail about this cvnt. Personal life?

  50. 50
    M­a­­q­b­o­­ul says:

    He’s definitely one of the gas oven brigade but the planet’s rising population should be far more of a concern than global warming.

    I guess there’s less tax dollars to be made from the former.

  51. 51

    Ah yes, Rolf and his troublesome middle leg.

  52. 52
    Anonymous says:

    … and they should be allowed a by-election.

    The proportion of voters needed should be no more than the higher of: 15% of the registered electorate or 25% of the number who voted at the last relevant election (GE for MPs, EU for MEPs, Council for Councillors, etc).

  53. 53
    Party_Invites says:

    Always nice to meet an optimistic sort of person.

  54. 54
    The EU has money to throw away says:

    The award is 14, 000 Euros for the winner in each country. Will the Brit get his in pounds?

    My idea would be to integrate them back into East Europe.


  55. 55
  56. 56
    Anon says:

    I would go check the lead flashing if I were you.

  57. 57
    Lax Mifford, jailbird says:

    Can I use this forum to get a message to Rolf? When you’re sent down to Leyhill, please bring:

    – a carton of Marlborough
    – Earl Grey, not teabags!
    – CDs of Now that’s what I call music! vols. 1 to 389
    – A naturist magazine, fnar! fnar!
    – Some lavender notelets
    – M&S boxers, size L

  58. 58
    Why keep paying for something you don't want? says:

    Well, how many more times do people have to be told to simply not pay it? When the renewal notice thumps on your doormat, just chuck it in the bin. If a few million people took this simply money saving action the BBC would simply disappear from our screens.

  59. 59
    ++++ Stop Press ++++ says:

    It is reported that Rolf Harris has had a stroke.

  60. 60
    Labour's whole 5 year budget is financed by taking from the bankers says:

  61. 61
    Passing pedant says:

    When are.

  62. 62
    Axe The Telly Tax & Religion & Kill All Eco-loons says:

    I notice you haven’t faulted my logical step by step collapse of civilisation.

    My predictions are bound to come true, it is only a matter of when not if.

  63. 63
    Ed Ballsup says:

    And the magic money tree.

  64. 64
    Not in my name says:

    All a waste of time and pixels in the run up to an election.

    He will cling on like a limpet.

  65. 65
    Labour to cripple the only industry making money says:

    You can just imagine that when team Ed sit around the table and dream up their next cunning plan to spend even more money, when some brave soul asks where is the money coming from, they all say in unison “the bankers”.

  66. 66
    Weak and weedy Dave, Jean Claude Juncker's little slave, says:

    2nd of today already?

  67. 67
    M­a­­q­b­o­­ul says:

    Fair point, except I hope you don’t expect me to shit in the woods.

  68. 68
    Axe The Telly Tax & Religion & Kill All Eco-loons says:

    Yes this is a plausible scenario as already shown in the TV series Survivors.

    But it is not inevitable unlike my scenario which is.

    Also the human race has survived the Black Death at a time without any modern medicines. With a diverse world it is unlikely a virus would wipe out the human race to an extent that it couldn’t recover.

  69. 69
    The Guinness defence it is then says:

    Really lol

  70. 70

    H@rry must be holding his map upside down.

    You don’t travel from London down to Bury St Edmunds. You travel up.

  71. 71
    Dixon in the Dock says:

    It’s a budget thing. If our Boys actually comply with PACE etc, then refer to CPA, then attend Court for the hearing the cost of pursuing a routine matter for which the Crim’ gets no sentence, it will mean lower recruiting ( the actual method of number-reduction rather than dismissal for redundancy). Also, it is still a top-down ACPO direction of policy. It reduces crime statistics. But…..less crime =less Bobbies. Turkeys and Christmas.

  72. 72
    Ed Miliband says:

    Quick someone write these ideas down, we can use them in our manifesto

  73. 73
    Anonymous says:


  74. 74
    Pun says:


  75. 75
    Bertie Woofter says:

    Oh but you do! One always travels up to London no matter where from, and conversely down from.

  76. 76
    ex squadie says:


  77. 77
    Ed Miliband says:

    so my plan for roma integration is to open our borders, send out searchparties for all their mates, give them free houses free benefits and tell the police to turn a blind eye to the national past times of pick pocketing and metal theft, get the BBC to do a documentary on how good it is to be a happy smiley multicultural society and just wall paper over the cracks and pretend nothing is wrong – can I have my 14,000 EUR pls

  78. 78
    non taxable pikey says:

    First ones into Kosovo were the Paras and the Gurkhas (other than the ones we don’t talk about.) First thing the M_us_lim Kosovan refugees saw as they exited the place was the Magen David flying over two IDF field hospitals. Denis was conspicuous by his absence.

  79. 79
    Franz Liszt says:

    It looks like an electronic piano that plays itself.

  80. 80
  81. 81
    Savile and Harris, created by the BBC says:

    Those were the days – we thought they’d never end.

  82. 82
    The EU says:

    Fuck off Beaker.

  83. 83
    Rolf says:

    I wont have far to shuffle for a piss and I’ll have plenty of time to paint.
    Could be worse.

  84. 84
    Trees - woods. Woods -trees. Ha ha says:

    Which woods had you in mind? The ones that are historical and the Government will be having removed to make way for HS2 or the woods that our burgeoning imports of Immigrants are cutting down for fuel. Or the ones that aren’t being planted because legitimate tax-planning aka tax avoidance is being poisoned and nobody wants to waster their time. It’s easier yo go the whole hog and ship your money off-shore.

  85. 85
    non taxable pikey says:

    Has Knacker felt Brittan’s collar yet?

  86. 86
    Harridan Harmanhater says:

    Don’t forget the tax on bankers’ bonuses.

  87. 87
    Harridan Harmanhater says:

  88. 88
    David Ruffley says:

    Should have battered the bitch properly

  89. 89
    Shoe_Man says:

    Very brave to even attempt something so far beyond him. That is actually the easiest piece from Kinderszehen.
    They faded it out to save poor ED from further embarrassment. Bit like the early England exit from the World Cup………..

  90. 90
    UKIP the voice of reason says:

    Ruffley should convert to islam and then he would be allowed to beat his women with a stick no thicker than his thumb and get away with it.

    The religion of peace is a home for mysogynist wife beaters fully protected by sharia law coming to the UK soon

  91. 91
    Piles of Liberace says:

    Nah. It’s a 4 cylinder Yamaha. O-60 in 1.5 secs. Far too quick for shitfer brains. Anytime soon they’re going to bang up Balls for offences to music and drive-by music-mangling.

  92. 92
    Oh, really? says:

    The voter’s verdict? “Ooh, ‘e was a lovely, polite young man. Nicely turned out, but ‘e really should get as decent haircut.”

  93. 93
    Dave says:

    I am convening COBRA to discuss the increasing resistance to Global Bumming amongst the pleb scum.

  94. 94
    2-6-4 says:

    Cos it’s on the Down line.

  95. 95
    2-6-4 says:

    That’s another 18 months.

  96. 96

    Cartographic bolleaux!

    If one travels from Liverpool to Hull, London is not even on the route. (Can’t see why you would want to go, though… ;-) ) Likewise Brum to Norwich.

  97. 97
    2-6-4 says:

    That is why one always goes “up” to London. It’s on the fucking “up” line.

  98. 98

    Bloody hell! You can’t even count properly! And that bogey sticking out in front is disgusting,..

  99. 99
    Anonymous says:

    “Guy News has travelled down to Bury St. Edmunds to ask David Ruffley’s constituents whether they think it is appropriate for a man who has accepted a caution for assaulting a woman to remain as their MP.”
    Maybe you’re talking to the wrong guys. Surely Nick Clegg is the one who should be being asked, why he despises democracy so much he actively blocked the people’s right to rectify such aberrations.

  100. 100
    Sue Denim says:

    Remember – you don’t need a brain to watch Sky either. It is mandatory to not have a brain to watch ITV.

  101. 101

    How very 19th century. :-)

  102. 102
    Village Idiot says:

    ….I admire your courage and staying power; I have yet to brave it after app 10years of abstinence!

  103. 103
    Chris The Leatherman says:

    Do you think someone could teach Tory Bear how to shave?

  104. 104
    Bob Rusk says:

    Not great enough to get into the quarters you fucking mong. Oh, and remind me, who was in power around 1999? So this ‘we’ business is actually ‘you’ and your rotten party.

  105. 105
    Twampersand mk II says:

    They’re not ‘our boys’.

    They are usually momma’s boys, psycho-bastard fairies in a pseudo-military uniform, a criminal gang with a criminal culture, language, gang-signs and clothing.

    The kind of people that grew up wanting to be a football referee, instead of a striker.

    Just doin’ me job, innit?

  106. 106
    Twampersand mk II says:

    Utter insanity. Cameron should be hanged.

  107. 107
    Tosser Dave says:

    Stop pinching my best policies

  108. 108
    Sparatcus says:

    the other 50 pct is handing out speeding camera fines and checking dna samples.

  109. 109
    Cynical-old-bag says:

    I have the misfortune to have a house in David Ruffley’s constituancy. I wrote to him once and his reply was arrogant, and patronising. He deserves everything he gets.

  110. 110
    Us'n'them says:

    It’s easy to talk like that until you need them.

  111. 111
    "Little Japaner" says:

    England is one fucked up country.

  112. 112
    The two Muppets says:

    You try and practise Christianity in Saudi and see how long you last .

  113. 113
    Hoos Khuntri says:

    Real name: Denis Matyjaszek

    So a second generation immigrant wants more immigration

    Something of a fucking surprise


    In other news, r@pists want more r@pe

  114. 114
    Observa says:

    Balls is something of a fat cΰnt – must be all that tax-payer subsidised food and drink.

  115. 115
    Its all BS says:

    Tony Blair was a Tory. David Cameron Sounds like a Labour candidate.

    Nigel Farage sounds like Enoch Powell.

    That is it I’m emigrating.

    My choice is between the left and right who are owned by the bankers and ultra powerful. Or Nigel Farage who wants to bring about a fascist revolution.

    Like I said I’m out

  116. 116
    Observa says:

    All MPs are like that. Especially socialist ones.

  117. 117
    Cheerio and thanks for all the bed-wetting says:

    “fascist revolution”

    You are obviously a silly bed-wetter who cannot think for him/herself and you’d be better off in North Korea anyway.

  118. 118
    Anonymous says:

    It’s a lot easier if you have needed them and they have explained that they are not going to do anything.

    They blatantly ignore the democratic system and decide for themselves what is and is not against the law. If it’s illegal but the police think it shouldn’t be, they will ignore it. If it isn’t illegal but police think it should be, they will find something to charge you with.

    A classic example: the police think it should be illegal to drive an old car or particularly a van. If you are seen doing this, you will be stopped and questioned regularly.

  119. 119
    inside out says:

    The police like an easy life,sitting in office eating doughnuts and looking at a screen fulfil that criteria.

  120. 120
    inside out says:

    Why hasn’t Anjem Choudary emigrated to the Calaphte,thats what he wants in England.

  121. 121

    It is all a stitch up really. Almost as if pre-destined.

  122. 122
    Tim Yeo-Yo says:

    I hope someone that is on twatter points that out to him. What a cnut.

  123. 123
    John Bellingham says:

    And struck by the Curse of McShane, Switzerlan promptly lose and are knocked out of the world cup.

    BTW, the Swiss enver seemed that keen on foreigners when I lived there.

  124. 124
    Passing Yokel says:

    Oooo aghrr

  125. 125
    Anonymous says:

    Sounds like a good idea. It is used as an excuse: “I can’t work properly because I;m hungry – it’s Ramadan you know”. They want school exams moved because “it’s not fair to our kids to have them during Ramadan because they can’t concentrate”.

    Don’t subject your kids to your stupid woo woo religion then.

  126. 126
    Anonymous says:

    you forgot the 10pct selling drugs and the 5 pct shooting civvies

  127. 127
    another ex squaddie says:

    we were not all from Oop North

  128. 128
    RWG says:

    The Rule Of Thumb was an old English law.

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Boris on British Jihadis. Apparently based on MI5 intel:

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