July 2nd, 2014

Ed’s PMQs Figures Out By 134%

Yesterday Ed botched his figures, today he’s botched his sums. During his comfort zone PMQs on the NHS, Miliband bleated:

“Let me give him the figures for his target: before his reorganisation, the number of people waiting more than four hours was 353,000. After his reorganisation, that has risen to 939,000, an increase of 300%. Is that better or worse?”

A Guido co-conspirator points out that 939,000 is, to be precise, 266% of 353,000.

That is not a 266% increase though, it’s an increase of 166%, which is 134% points away from 300%.

Even when they’re ignoring the economy, Labour still can’t get their sums right…


  1. 1
    Internet R us NOT says:

    “Revenge porn ban could be law within weeks” Great. Oh wait a mo, how the hell are we going to enforce this?

  2. 2
    Dave says:

    Come out Andy!

  3. 3
    nell says:

    Does he have the statistics to hand for the unnecessary deaths in the nhs death camps when he and burnham were last in government?

  4. 4
  5. 5
    Dave says:

    Nonces up 300+% YoY since 2010!

  6. 6
    Mycroft says:

    Does anyone actually know who writes his sh’t?

    Why would he use such dumb language… the average bloke would say “… a nearly three-fold increase” that is accurate and immediately sharper in the mind.

    Whoever it is that writes his sh’t, they ain’t worth a w’nk.

  7. 7
    Alan Turing says:

    Christ ed, you don’t have to be me to work that one out!

  8. 8
    Pick a fad, any fad says:

    Until Blair invented New Labour, Labour was the anti Common market/EEC party. The Unions, all of them except those looking after civil servants were anti EU too,

  9. 9
    Grammar School Boy says:

    Ed wrong…..surely not?

  10. 10
    tennis bore says:

    Come on Tim, surely.

  11. 11
    Peter Grimes says:

    And this prat and his fellow prat Bollox were meant to be in charge of the Treasury during Queen Brown’s misrule!

    No wonder they bust the UK economy.

    Couldn’t run a whelk stall let alone an economy!

  12. 12
  13. 13
    Dave Levita Cameron says:

    No one cares about the plebs’ scummy NHS. As long as Hampstead house prices are up 300% in the last 24 hrs for ‘Russian’ oligarchs – the ones with ‘the right of return’ when things eventually kick off – that’s all I care about.

  14. 14
    "Dishface" Cameron says:

    England can still win the World Cup.

    Come on lads,you can do it.

  15. 15
    táxpáyér says:


    Green groups keep Aboriginal people in poverty

    Dave’s a green.

  16. 16
    Ed id forced to do a EU turn says:

  17. 17
    Vote Dave? Get stuffed says:

    Labour can be trusted with the sums if they get in government. Sum more unemployment. Sum more recessions. Sum more taxes. Sum more national debt. Sum more public sector workers. Sum more welfare claimants. Sum more immigrants. Sum more quangos. Sum more union control.

  18. 18
    Eddy Balls says:

    I am wrong 100% of the time.

  19. 19
    Mrs Henman says:

    Come out Tim, you boring asexual twunt!

  20. 20
    táxpáyér says:

    Who cares about the numbers? The NHS is shit and no amount of looting from the productive will make it any better.

  21. 21
    13 years old Ed....Unlucky 4 some says:

  22. 22
    Vote Dave? Get stuffed says:

    We are much better now thanks to multiculturalism and mass immigration. We used to be rubbish back in the old days – like 1966.

  23. 23
    Ed's Boss tells him to do an EU turn says:

  24. 24
    A.Sperger says:

    seems 99.99% o.k. to me.

  25. 25
    Socialist liar says:

    The NHS is such a huge success story it has been copied all round the world. Whereas Thatcher’s privatisations have been ignored.

  26. 26
    Roy £3.5m/yr Hodgson, OAP says:

    Feed the fucking monkey!!!

  27. 27
    Len agrees with nigel says:

    Seems to me that UKIP is now the party of the workers and Labour the party of the Luvvy liberal elite chattering classes.

  28. 28
    Wanda Ringhands says:

    It will only apply to MPs, especially those pictured with underage children

  29. 29
    Harriet Harman says:

    Ed was right to campaign to leave the EU and he is right to campaign to remain in.

  30. 30
    Vote Dave? Get stuffed says:

    Ah! Obviously a high number of Labour voters have been turning to UKIP.

  31. 31
    Anonymous says:

    Helen Flanagan, the former Coronation Street and ‘I’m a Celebrity…Get Me Out of Here’ star is ACTIVELY trying to get pregnant

    Step this way love. I’m free.

  32. 32
    Anonymous says:

    Open your eyes. The world went into recession.

  33. 33
    Liebour says:

    No, we can do sums – simple sums, anyway. The problem here is our reflexive wish to lie. A 166% rise is accurate and would have been fine for our purpose, but where’s the lie in that?

  34. 34
    The two Muppets says:

    Miliband has not got the guts to go against the wishes of his puppet master .

  35. 35
    The two Muppets says:

    She is all plastic .

  36. 36
    Lee O'Britain says:

    I hope I’ve calculated everything correctly…

  37. 37
    Judean People's Front says:

    This is frankly terrifying. We have a house of Commons that exactly represents the people. All qualified to the eyeballs wiht tick box “degrees” and none capable of simple arithmetic.

    Well might you bleat Edjerkashun! Edjerkashun” Edjerkashun!

    But listening to a Marxist diatribe from an oaf called Kevin is not education. It’s bollocks.

    Gove is the only one with hte balls to take on the God awful Education establishment

  38. 38
    Questions for Cameron says:

    Red Len wants the EU because it represents International Socialism..

    So why the fook does Conservative Cameron want to be part of it?

  39. 39
    Rupert says:

    They need to push this guy out. My Rebekah needs a job and she has big tits Miliballs is just one big tit

  40. 40
    albacore says:

    Ed’s nearly as good at arithmetic
    As Dave with his great “tens of thousands” trick
    In promising to cut immigration
    Gordon must have been their inspiration

  41. 41
    Judean People's Front says:

    yeah weel that was before the fall of the Berlin Wall when Marxism moved its HQ from Moscow to Brussels. Now that we are in the EUSSR of course all the chanpagne lefties want us to stay

  42. 42
    DWWolds says:

    And does he have the stats to hand relating to the increase in population that has occurred due to Labour’s open door policy on immigration? And does he have the stats to hand on the impact that has had – and is having – on the NHS?

  43. 43


  44. 44

    You answered that in the first line of your comment !

  45. 45
    Ted Miliballs says:

    Ed Miliband speech on UK ‘Growth’ (01July14).

  46. 46
    Ted Miliballs 2 says:

    Ed Miliband speech after Vote2014 trashing (27May14).

  47. 47
    Ed Mililiar says:

    It wasn’t a mistake: it was a calculated lie.

    Journalists and TV reporters are notoriously bad at maths and stats, and Cameron would have found it hard to argue the point saying “but it was only a 166% increase”.

    Therefore the lie slips through into the public minds.

    Note all thoseBliar lies about “If 1 in 10 labour voters stays at home tories will win” back in 2001, 2005. Over and over again: never challenged by the media and nor by the tories who diodn’t want to demoralise their voters with the truth.

  48. 48
    Labour will destroy Britain again says:

    Radio 4 News Quiz on Martha v Miliband….

  49. 49

    They are the same arseholes who expect the Amazonian Indians to live in a stinking third world swamp as they flit from Hilton hotel to Hilton hotel guzzling champagne and fillet steak on an endless round of conferences and meetings .

  50. 50
    Is that Ed or David? says:

    Ed Miliband: ‘Is that a man or a woman?’

  51. 51

    They look like factory workers dragged in from their lunch to listen to some communist apparatchnik in some east european shit hole in about 1962.

  52. 52
    Michael Trick says:

    Ed Miliband on the state of Labour (16May14)

  53. 53
    Hypnotic Ed says:

    Ed Milliband repeats himself.

  54. 54
    UKIPPER says:

    Good honest Dave, oh wait a minuet, didn’t he call a three line whip to defeat a referendum?

  55. 55
    Son of Bercow says:

    When asked, 456% of voters think Ed Milliband is a Mup-tard.

    892% of those who weren’t sure, were positive that Ed Balls would crash the economy whilst doing a five to seven point U turn on the recovery, before making off without stopping on his way to shit creek.

  56. 56
    Plummet Airlines says:

    Indeed, the Comrades always saw the EEC as a means of undermining free collective baraining of the unions, but then did an about turn when the unions were wiped out as a force in the private sector in the 80s. The EEC/EU then became the means of hanging onto some form of ‘socialism’ for the Labour party without having to win an election and the Comrades played ball after being wiped out in the fools battle called the Miners Strike.
    Big business did well at out of it all as well, the unions with the exception of the public sector were removed as a force, they got easy access to Europe, and oceans of cheap labour to further drive the proles down to their proper level.

  57. 57
    Mr D. Milliband, NY. says:

    You dozy prick, Edward.

    Now I know it was you who broke my scientific calculator.

    You can’t keep punching the numbers randomly with your forehead, hoping the right answer will come out.

  58. 58
    Nothing To Crow About says:

    An increase of 166% in those waiting more than four hours is more alarming and disgusting than Ed’s erroneous and wooden response. It matters more to those in distress and should have a higher priority than slagging off Weird Ed.

  59. 59
    Liebour says:

    The big lie in this one is when they were discussing the social effect and the effect on wages of a large inflow of immigrants. “We weren’t sufficiently alive to those issues”, says Ed. Oh yes they were. Ultimately, ‘Rubbing the Right’s nose in diversity’ took precedence over these concerns.

  60. 60
    Toxic Labour for Spongers, Scroungers, Parasites, Criminals, Layabouts & other Wasters says:

    Ed Multimillionaireband has been compared with Tracey Emin’s bed. The consensus is the bed is a better leader and more effective.

  61. 61

    Labour and mathematics leave a lot to be desired.

  62. 62
    Mark my words says:

    Labour and mathematics – never the twain shall meet.

  63. 63

    Eddie Gonads must have supplied the calculation .

  64. 64

    For the same reason he wants Scotland to remain part of the UK thus retaining thirty odd Labour Mp s thus guaranteeing thirty odd Labour safeseats in perpetuam .

    So the real answer is — coz he s ordure at working out even the most basic conundrum.

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