June 30th, 2014

LISTEN: Rolf’s “She’s Only 13″ Joke


  1. 1
    rolf harris says:

    well think of all the bumsex i’ll get in prison

  2. 2
    rolf harris says:

    can you guess what it is yet? thats right its a prison, and those on the nonce wing can expect to be regularly digeridooed

  3. 3
    Peter Grimes says:

    Pick the soap up, Rolf, it’s your turn now!

  4. 4
    Sir Dando Tweakeshafte says:

    It appears that he digeridid.

  5. 5
    Axe The Telly Tax & Religion & Kill All Eco-loons says:

    I’ll never be able to listen to “Two little boys” and “Jake the peg” in the same way ever again.

  6. 6
    Axe The Telly Tax & Religion & Kill All Eco-loons says:

    It’ll give a new meaning to “takes it up the aris”

  7. 7
    Prisoner cell block Rolf says:

    Can you tell what it is yet Rolf? Yes, and it’s a big one. Now guess where it’s going.

  8. 8
    Anonymous says:

    can you see what it is yet? sh*t i can now!!

  9. 9
    The Caliph of Iraq and Syria, so far, says:

    Mr Guido

    I thought I would announce it first here

    I have invited Willie Hague and Angelina Jolie to my forthcoming coronation

    Would any other dignitaries like to come?

  10. 10
    Anonymous says:

    By the old lags are going to have a good Christmas party this year. Stuart Hall doing the commentating , Max Clifford handling the publicity and Rolf singing.

  11. 11
    non taxable pikey says:

    The EU will want more of our money soon since it has just agreed to bail out the Bulgarian banks.
    Vote UKIP.

  12. 12
    Taken off air says:

    They will never be listened to by me again, at least he is now off the radio and TV, shame the same hasn’t happened to M Jackson, should be erased from all media

  13. 13
    A real Brit says:

    Fucking Australians

    Just like Dirty Digger


  14. 14
    Perverts R Us says:

    OMG! Who would have thunk it?

  15. 15
    Genghiz the kahn says:

    Oddly enough, he doesn’t seem to have any employment history according to this report on BBC.


  16. 16
    Roma Bert. says:

    I suspect that Rolf is now wishing he had cracked one off thinking about the act rather than doing it :)

  17. 17
    Roman says:

    13 – just the right age for drugging and anal raping shiksas. nice one Rolf.

  18. 18
    Aardvark says:

    When will the persecution of G_d’s Chosen ever end?

  19. 19
    Roma Bert. says:

    Thank you, every little helps :)

  20. 20
    Axe The Telly Tax & Religion & Kill All Eco-loons says:

    I bet the beeboid scum will be busily rewriting history to save their own embarrassment.

  21. 21
    Hughie Greene says:

    Thought he was an under-study for Led Zepp.

  22. 22
    The Tit in No. 10 says:

    I told a joke once, – everyone laughed!

    I said I would get GB out of the EUSSR! ha hah hah hhah hahhh!

  23. 23
    Guido says:

    soz mate, i’m all shagged out from Gay Pride yesterday.

  24. 24
    David Axlegrease says:


  25. 25
    RED ED - SON OF BROWN says:


  26. 26
    RichUpNorth says:

    That joke was pretty tame by 1969 standards.
    “Tie me kangaroo down, sport”. If he’d stuck to kangaroos he wouldn’t be in the pickle he is now.
    I can’t help asking why these accusers didn’t come out of the woodwork years ago. Same with the other cases recently. Is that part of the plan? Wait until they’re old men settling down to a cosy old-age then pounce.

  27. 27
    RED LEN says:


  28. 28
    Weed Uggie says:


  29. 29
    Big Bert on B-Wing says:

    By the time he gets out he’ll be known as “Bummer Harris”

  30. 30
    David Minibanana says:


  31. 31
    Mrs. Ball-Scooper, TRIPLE FLIPPER says:

    Is this a dagger I see before me ?

  32. 32
    Bubba says:

    There’s room on my bunk for two.

  33. 33
    bergen says:

    Always thought Jimmy Saville was a wrong ‘un but not Rolf in a hundred years. I suppose he’ll have plenty of time to paint.

  34. 34
    Teddet says:

    Pointblank !

  35. 35
    Micro Dick says:

    that you Max?

  36. 36
    Genghiz the kahn says:

    Looks as if they have airbrushed him out of existence.


    Long report, mentions that he worked on TV.

  37. 37
    The Bullingdon Boy says:

    Surely that’s not Rolf doing the “I’m only 13/ Don’t be suspicious” joke.

    Sounds like a variety mix extract.

  38. 38
    I'm not paying the licence fee anymore says:

    No mention that he’d worked at the BBC for
    so many years.
    How many at the corporation knew about and
    covered up his sick crimes?

  39. 39
    Anonymous says:

    After paying the victim lots of money.

  40. 40
    The Bullingdon Boy says:

    You could pop a mention into their comments section … doh!

    BTW, did they mention that Rolf was of “Australasian appearance”?

  41. 41
    still walking into darkness says:


  42. 42
    Geoffrey Chaucer says:

    Realise now Rolf was at Southwark Court whilst I thought it was at the Court of King Caractacus. Can you guess what it is yet

  43. 43
    Ed Twelvety Balls says:

    So we are on 31 and the Tories are on 33. By my calculations, that gives us a lead of 12%!

  44. 44
    Norma Stitz says:

    That tied-down kangaroo is due for some hefty compo.

  45. 45
    The Bullingdon Boy says:

    I say, Chaps, do we trust Lord Cashcroft’s impartiality?
    He went to a rather provincial public school and university.
    One can never be sure with these “new money” types.

  46. 46
    simlaboy says:

    He painted the house opposite

  47. 47
    Stairway to Strangeways says:

    Prosecuting Counsel, in a case involving an instance of donkey-shagging in full view of an Inter-City train, was busy telling the Jury that not only were many unwilling viewers on the train very upset by the sight, but that the Donkey was very upset, too.
    Imagine the fucking disappointment the kangaroo felt being assaulted by Bummer Harris. “Look Rolf, I’m just not into bondage, you know…”

  48. 48
    bergen says:

    I’m afraid that the joke’s passed me by.

  49. 49
    The two Muppets says:

    Big Bubba is waiting in the shower block on E wing .

  50. 50
    Ed Twelvety Balls says:

    Vote Ukip, get Labour.

  51. 51
    The two Muppets says:

    After the Asian postal votes ,you are probably correct .

  52. 52
    Cinna says:

    There is a financial incentive to make these accusations (funded by the taxpayer of course), if the accused is found guilty.

  53. 53
    BERCOW is Parliament's SHOneT says:

    And the audience laughed

  54. 54
    The Electorate says:

    Is he a Lib-Dem?

  55. 55
    BBC Dromey says:


  56. 56
    Hariett Gay-Paree-Googler says:

    I thought your tastes tended away from Crackers, Jack.

  57. 57
    Harriet Harman says:

    Rolf should have the full support of the labour cabinet and P.I.E.

  58. 58
    Roopert Bare says:

    As a practicing Christian and papal knight, I show my commitment to christian values by getting divorced three times from increasingly younger women, and allowing visiting mass-murderers to fuck my wife. Jesus loved Prostitutes too! Also I like to publish pictures of young girls in the nude so that onanists may appreciate the beauty of our Lord’s creations.

  59. 59
    Anonymous says:

    Any more news on this one yet?

  60. 60
    Billy Bunter says:

    That joke was not only tame by 1969 standards but common place in the school playground.
    “To the woods, to the woods”
    “I’ll tell the vicar.”
    “I am the vicar!”
    “I’ll tell by Mother.”
    “Your Mother loves it!”
    and so on and so on.
    Now in my 70’s with fading grey cells I can’t remember all the others lines.

  61. 61
    EeeYepBlowing Whistles says:

    So we’ve now been served up with a couple of celebrities.

    It is beyond time that the dirtiest of politicians/judges/lawyers/businessgurus and pigs – were brought to book and of course if there are any others out their who are a part of the great and the good ‘networks’ (A few lords from the HoL).

    Also it’s beyond time to look properly into the activities across the channel – at how many in high office – have lots to hide too!

  62. 62
    Bill de Burgh says:

    By quite some margin, my favourite Rolf-based witticism.
    (I was just passing by)

  63. 63
    ned ludd says:

    You sad twat.

  64. 64
    Graham says:

    When are we going to have the MPs investigated ? No fucking chance.

  65. 65
    Bill de Burgh says:

    The gloss of a sometime-celebrity painter stands removed by a brush with the law, after the jury’s opinion was canvassed.
    Should have been more prudent as to where he threw his emulsion.

  66. 66
    Bill de Burgh says:


  67. 67
    ned ludd says:

    How is Leon these days?

  68. 68
    Willy Bunter says:

    My Dad’s not going to like it.”
    “Your Dad’s not going to get it.”

  69. 69
    Hamish says:

    You can’t even transcribe correctly.

  70. 70
    ron Vibbentrop says:

    Saville, Stuart Hall and now the once much loved Rolf, AND NOBODY KNEW? I would investigate all senior management of programmes that they worked on. Either they knew and covered up or they were in it too.

  71. 71
    Free The Max One says:

    Its alright for you nonces..

    I’ve got a lock-up full of brand new (reproduction)
    rolf harris stylophones to shift.

  72. 72
    GoogleKevinAnnett says:

    its the royal family that are at the very top of this child raping, everyone knows it so why arent they being done?

  73. 73
    GoogleKevinAnnett says:

    watch a documentary on youtube called UNREPENTANT by KEVIN ANNETT . yhe royals were involved with that

  74. 74
    GoogleKevinAnnett says:

    kevin annett has a courtcase against the pope, the queen and the canadian goverment regarding the murder of 50,000 native indiginous canadian children that were murdrerd in catholic schools in canada. , its a holocaust, yet its been covered up and no ones ever been charged

  75. 75
    I was born in Dusseldorf; that is why they call me Rolf says:

    Very good swid…

    Reckon he might commit sooey side?

    Just guessing – but how good will I look if he does!

    How good will I look anyway? Not very.

    Vote UKIP.

  76. 76
    Anonymous says:

    There can’t be many Top of the Pops repeats they can show now, how many are there where either the presenter or one of the performers has been done for kiddie fiddling?

  77. 77
    Anonymous says:

    The reason has been mentioned frequently. The cult of celebrity at the BBC and elsewhere is such that any pleb who spoke up was told to shut up quick.

    It is because they are yesterday’s men that they are now reachable.

    It is very likely that the same things are still going on.

  78. 78
    Anonymous says:

    Now that show always vaguely creeped me out as a kid. Wonder if there will turn out to be a good reason for that?

  79. 79
    Displaced Brummie says:

    No, he was found not guilty because the evidence was found not only to be lacking but totally made up in parts. The mother of one kid had tried exactly the same scam against another innocent victim, so she had form.

  80. 80
    Displaced Brummie says:

    How come they were able to get away with it for so long?

  81. 81
    Lily Longdraws says:

    He’ll be out before he’s 90. Will he get a telegram from the Queen at 100 ?

    Lord Harris ? Who’s next?

  82. 82
    mandy pandy says:

    why should i know, ask leon.

  83. 83
    leon says:

    hansard got it wrong, i do not recall to the best of my memory ever holding the report, i was never at elm house, i did not have my photos taken by kashir……

  84. 84
    Death by Bongo says:

    Erk! Soon it will be ‘There’s room up my bum for two!’

    I wonder if he will just be called ‘Harris’ like the late Sir James Savile, who has been reduced to ‘Savile’. Rolferoo, soon it will be ‘Rolferwho?’

    “Its the way I tell em… Ha ha!!”

  85. 85
    Death by Bongo says:

    … ‘or where he dipped his brush’.


  86. 86
    Judge John Deed says:

    Now that we’ve crucified Saville and Harris et al, I wonder if anyone will be good enough to produce the evidence which allowed allegations to be seen as facts?

  87. 87
    Jeremy Paxman says:

    I think we should spend tax payers’ money on finding out exactly who in that audience were laughing at that joke! Sick bastards! Predators! Paedophiles! Perverts! Let’s flush them out. I invite anyone to come forward with their story. Not born until 2000? Not a problem. We want your story. We want stories of Perverts, predators (God, how I get off on that word….mmmmm…) and Paedophiles (…oh god oh god oh god oh god…)

  88. 88
    Rolf Haribo says:

    What about the art of Gauguin or the music of Led Zeppelin?

    Where do you draw the line?

  89. 89

    Naah you re too old RudeRolf .

    Bubba not interested in a piece of ageing skank .

    Although …. you never kniw ….whatever floats his boat.
    ( his grandfather may have been shipped to Botany Bay so he may want settlement).

  90. 90
    Anonymous says:

    Hmm – So the people who knew him well heard all the evidence and still thought he was innocent, while twelve people who only knew him from the television decided he was guilty. In this day and age I wonder whether any of the victims were hoping for a bit of compensation – after all, if it’s just you and the one who’s on trial who know if anything really happened, you’ve got a good chance of being believed.
    As for groping the waitress, back in the 70s I remember that sort of thing happening all the time. No-one thought of it as anything more than a bit of fun. We don’t think so now, but I don’t recall many complaints at the time.

    Well, British justice is supposed to be blind – perhaps it is, perhaps it isn’t.

  91. 91
    Rolfaroo&hisDirtyDidgeridoo says:

    I’ll never play my stylophone again.

  92. 92

    Rolf will be delighted to attend, they have camels in W.Australia too so they will have camel-shagging in common.

  93. 93
    J A Jones says:

    Apologies to Max Miller?

  94. 94
    andy5759 says:

    If pederasty is so commonplace it must be normal human behaviour. That being the case, decriminalisation and eventual encouragement by the powders that be would be expected. As was the case with homosexual practices. Also, isn’t it fortunate that the EU set up their parliament in Belgium?

  95. 95
    Peter Pears says:

    No, me first!

  96. 96
    Hugh Janus says:

    There’s a lady who’s sure
    He won’t grope her no more
    Because he’s climbing a stairway to prison

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