June 30th, 2014

Euro-Gravy Train Cancelled Today

The original European gravy train has been cancelled – literally! The Charter Thayls – the luxury train service that at great expense farcically shuttles MEPs and their entourages between Brussels and Strasbourg as and when the European Parliament flits between the two cities, isn’t running today thanks to French strike action. Merde!


  1. 1
    Phil Butcher says:

    Why do UKIP members board this train? On a point of principle they should boycott Strasbourg.

    But they want the money of course. Snout in da trough! OINK OINK OINK

  2. 2
    Simon says:

    Simple solution. Don’t hold the European Parliament in Strasbourg any more. That should solve the problem..

  3. 3

    Sacre Bleu! How am I supposed to drink a decent cognac in a tax payer funded private car!

  4. 4
    Jean Claude Junker says:

    I can’t find Great Britain on the map?

  5. 5
    Nigel says:

    The EU is coming off the rails.

  6. 6
    Free the max one says:

    Wheres the ROLF-A-ROO

  7. 7
    David Chappell says:

    They just have to fly, like Greenpeace

  8. 8
  9. 9
    UK MEPs should sit in a office in UK says:

    Video conferencing only. Its all translated so pick up the feeling is loosed.

    Huhne would not have been caught speeding. Maybe somewhere else.

  10. 10
    Europhile & sons says:

    We can’t agree on the accounts or where the head office is.
    Good job we’re not a private firm otherwise we’d be fucked.

  11. 11
    Rolfs Arris says:

    Strewth this beds harder than a sun dried wobble board

  12. 12

    What do you expect them to do, walk.

  13. 13
    Dave Cam says:

    We’re Little England now, boss…

  14. 14
    Holf Rarris says:

    Two little boys…oh fuck!

  15. 15
    Vatican News says:

    His Holiness Pope Francis has requested that the process of beatification and eventual canonisation of James Savile begins as soon as possible.

  16. 16
    Old Nick Heavenly says:

    They could train it to Luxembourg and then catch a bus from there.

    Or they ciuld just stay in Lux where drinking alc is the national hobby;

    They would fit in well.

    Do avoid the Bofferding though!

  17. 17
    Old Nick Heavenly says:

    Little England is a shop in Lux where one can buy one’s English products!

  18. 18
    Von Ryans Express says:

    When the French were transporting J*ws to Germany their trains always ran on time.

  19. 19
    Tempsford Ops says:

    Ah yes, the land of the great myth, French Resistance!

    Seems French collaborators were in the majority! A messed up country ever since.

  20. 20
    DingDongBingBong says:

    Juncker does not want a United States of Europe, insists Lord Mandelson who says new EU boss is not a ‘monster’

    who gives a shit what Mandelson says

    If he tried to give away free ten pound notes you wouldn’t take one bacause you know he only peddles shit

  21. 21
    Tempsford Ops says:

    Strikes were verboten and the French went easily along with that to keep the Reichsbahn moving along eastwards!!

    Well sometimes Nord Est to Natzwiller Struthof

    Petrol strkes never happened either, essential to keep the Junkers flying!!

  22. 22
    Another option says:

    Rolf could convert to Islam and join the other bearded child groomers already in prison.

  23. 23
    Marc Oaten says:

    Quelqu’un a dit merde…?

  24. 24
    Climb On Here, Don't Be Crying says:

    How’s the extra peg!

  25. 25
    Old Nick Heavenly says:

    Luxembourg has become a very prosperous country Under Juncker’s leaderrship.

    Maybe dave and George should drink more brandy?

  26. 26
    Gordon Brown says:


  27. 27
    The Bullingdon Boys says:

    by turning Luxemburg into a money-laundering centre.

    Alternatively we could start producing heroin in the UK — get some of the Afghan market.

  28. 28
    Chuka obama says:

    when I lead the labour party, i’ll have a private train from st reatham to westminster so I don’t have to travel with the serfs

  29. 29
    Cato Street Conspirator says:

    Bob Crow would have sorted this nonsense out.

    ‘No2EU is a trade union-backed campaign. We believe the time is right to offer the peoples of Britain an alternative view of Europe.

    ‘The working peoples of Europe are clearly not happy with the direction the EU is taking. The failure of the mainstream parties to represent this feeling has led to a political vacuum.

    ‘We want to see a Europe of democratic states that value public services and does not offer them to profiteers; a Europe that guarantees the rights of workers and does not put the interests of big business above that of ordinary people. We believe the current structures of the EU makes this impossible.’

  30. 30
    Man Ordering 5 Tonnes of Weedkiller says:

    Do you mean that all the MEPs travel together on one train?

  31. 31
    Field-Marshal Haig says:

    Damn Froggie railway workers pulled the same stunt during the Great War. They are the lowest of the low.

  32. 32
    Jimmy says:

    “by turning Luxemburg into a money-laundering centre”

    Unlike the UK? Is that it?

  33. 33
    Vote Dave? Get stuffed says:

    And of course if they did not turn up the same loonies would accuse them of not voting.

  34. 34
    Vote Dave? Get stuffed says:

    Anything that is simple and economic within the EU is verboten.

  35. 35

    Luxemburg is not a country, just a Brussels suburb.

  36. 36
    Old Nick Heavenly says:

    life is good for ordinary hard working people who have a very average job in Luxembourg.

    We rather like Jean Claude and do nor begrudge him a stiff drink for rhe morale, strictly to uplift the morale, mind you;

  37. 37
    Old Nick Heavenly says:

    Luxembourg is a sovereign counrty.

    Next you will be telling me thqt The United Kingdom is just a vassal state of America!

  38. 38

    No worse than our own EU collaborators !

  39. 39
  40. 40
    Kevin says:

    Well only as simple as the EU parliament MEPs voting to stop the monthly trek to Brussels!

    Oh I forgot…they have…twice…and due to squeals from the French the votes were ignored and the whole junket just carried on.

    Which gives just a hint of a taster of the democratic institution that Davie boy, Eddie and the Cleggster think is appropriate to make the majority of our laws.

  41. 41
    Kevin says:

    Strasbourg I meant sorry

  42. 42
    The Bullingdon Boy says:

    I agree to an extent, Jimmy, but you’ll acknowledge that the bent oligarchs started flooding in under your beloved Labour.
    Mandy Mandelson, and that bent ex-copper Mackenzie: both of them fully paid off by the gangsters, and both made Mi’noble Lords by your lot.

    Two that spring to mind, I’m sure there are plenty of others on all sides of those shit-crock Arses of Pee.

    PS “bryanodell”, please don’t “like” me. I don’t like it.

  43. 43
    The Bullingdon Boy says:

    So Baroness Thatcher liked naff music. At least it shows she didn’t have her desert Island discs selected by a bunch of spads and opinion pollsters like …. every politician who’s been on that programme since.

  44. 44
    Norma Stitz says:

    It’s ‘Thalys’, Neo-Guido, you prune.

  45. 45
    Anonymous says:

    do didgeridoos need lubricating, doo doo doo

  46. 46
  47. 47
    Dorris says:

    Just to make clear Members dont take the chartered Thalys for the most part as very few of them are in Brussels on a Monday morning anyway! It’s mainly staff, or, from CDG airport, there yes the British and a few others join in.

  48. 48
    Dorris says:

    uKIP members only go about once a month to Brussels anyway, so you’ve that right.

  49. 49
    Pompes et Etouffards says:

    That has obvious possibilities but it’s no good. They will regrow like Hydra.

  50. 50
    All mps are scum says:

    Yeah alcohol is poisonous in high enough quantities.

  51. 51

    Well possibly a sliver of good news .

    The ” ewerepeeyannn” parliament have either passed or will soon pass a bill nullifying the farcical switch from Brussels to Strasbourg which was only placed in the original treaty at the french insistence that while the commission and parliament was — notionally — based in Brussels all states were to be reminded once a month that the EC was really a french governed construct.
    So hopefully the billions that have been spent on futile commuting and subsistence over the last sixty years wiill not be pissed up the wall during the next 60….

  52. 52

    well we ve already included prostitution , pimping , gun running, smuggling and as far as i know drug running constituting the “black economy ” into the official calculations to boost the GDP so
    we ve made a good start –following the example of the italians .

  53. 53
    Jack Ketch says:

    Oh dear modbotted for innocent use of the jayword.
    So again————-

    SNCF sent the last invoice for the transport of “special treatment people” in October 1944, three months after the liberation of Paris. They were careful to address the invoice to the new regime, not Vichy.


  54. 54
    Jack Ketch says:

    Tan his hide ’till he’s dead, Fred,
    Tan his hide ’till he’s dead.

  55. 55
    M P White says:

    Let’s fill the fucking train with gravy, seal the bastards in and watch them drown in their own juices. Yum yum!

  56. 56
  57. 57
    Ohthisbloodypc says:

    Two questions.

    Why does everyone keep referring to a gravy train as some sort of locomotive?

    A gravy train is a vessel for pouring gravy. It’s small enough to be held and tipped with one hand. When not being used it is small enough to rest on the table. It does not run on rails and would never ‘hit the buffers’.

    Other question. Who won the bacon sandwich in the ed miliband competition?

  58. 58
    Makes Sense says:

    Shut the whole thing down, and “MEPs” can just use teleconferencing via their Android Tablets, or iPads. Nobody needs to go to either Brussels or Strasbourg at all. It’s a complete and utter farce and pantomime.

  59. 59
    Makes Sense says:

    Of course there IS a monthly trek Back To Brussels Again.

    You do realise that all the desks, chairs, filing cabinets and everything is also moved back and forth, with a fleet of articulated lorries. I was aghast when I saw that. A ridiculous enterprise indeed.

    During ‘Strasbourg week’, 2,500 trunks of documents are moved across the border in lorries at a cost of £250,000, and a fleet of black Mercedes are taken on transporters so they are waiting for MEPs when they arrive.

    Shut these antiquated offices down and have the MEPs work from home via computer linkups. This is after all the 21st Century.


  60. 60
    Makes Sense says:

    They should use the INTERNET to virtually commute

  61. 61
    Makes Sense says:

    “The Gravy Train Goes East” (1991)

    This was all predicted years ago in this sarky comedy

    4 X Episodes

    Told You So !

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