June 25th, 2014

Labour Sorry for Hospitalised MP Wife Attack

“Jake Berry, absent” cried the Speaker as the Tory MP for Rossendale and Darwen, whose name was on the Order Paper for PMQs, failed to appear when called to ask his question. Cue Labour whips piling in and living to regret it about three minutes later:

They have since sent him a full and frank apology. Awkward.


  1. 1
    Diane Abbotopotamus says:

    I really fancy a roast chicken!

  2. 2

    That was another naice one.

  3. 3
    Diane Abbotopotamus says:

    (And some PIE)

  4. 4
    Civil Savant says:

    We need a full, judge-led inquiry.

  5. 5
    Hattie Hatemen says:

    The Labour Whips were right to criticise Jake Berry and right to apologise for criticising him

  6. 6
    TJ says:

    Labour are incapable of stopping and thinking before blurting stuff out. They have political tourettes.

  7. 7
    Floyd Pink says:

    “….in hospital as you recovers…”

  8. 8
    Blooming Godfrey says:

    Labour should be placed under general anaesthetic!

  9. 9
    Gordon Brown says:

    WTF, do you need an excuse not to turn up these days?

  10. 10
    Revelling in the joys of buttock sex says:

    Serves him right for being married.

    Should have been a bumsexer.

  11. 11
    Diane Abbotopotamus says:

    What about a FUDGE-led inquiry???

  12. 12
    Sunny Jim says:

    Labour = thugs. Always have been, always will be. Scum.

  13. 13
    Top Tips says:

    Engage brain, before selecting mouth.

  14. 14
    Axe The Telly Tax & Religion & Kill All Eco-loons says:

    Liebore=The Nazi Party

  15. 15
    Nil Sympathy says:

    Jake Berry or his office should have informed the speaker of his whereabouts. We’ve all had to miss something because of an emergency and 99.99% of us managed to convey our excuses.

    If he had the time to make what is a very sarcastic tweet then he had the time for a simple “sorry I can’t make it” message.

  16. 16
    Jasmine alkali brown says:

    Agreed, fucking breeders deserve all they get.

  17. 17
    John Major says:

    I have decided to exercise my right to be forgotten.

  18. 18
    Yasmin Alibhai-Brown with a roast chicken on her head says:

    Chicken hats are all the rage these days!

  19. 19

    EFD has rebranded to: Europe of Freedom and Direct Democracy

    This is good: They are still not explicitly anti-federalist (unlike the ‘Eurorealist’ ECR) which places them in a stronger position politically.

    If FN can straighten their act out and join the Europe of Freedom group at a later date that would be a very positive development. The real reaction in France would be better channelled towards direct democracy: That is really what the people are demanding, and is fully on the page with a French view of European Federalization.

    A possible future combining of French and !talian interests through such a group would also significantly strengthen the case for shifting Europe in that direction.

    The pan-Europa / socialist and Eurorealist options offered by EPP / S&D and ECR are not optimal individually. ALDE seem to have temporarily lost their voice.

    The tension these positions are generating across the Eurozone does have similarities with those which led to the political destabilization of G’ermany in the late 1920’s / early 1930s.

    Vote UKIP :-D

  20. 20
    103% of statistics are made up says:

    “99.99% of us managed to convey our excuses”

    Could you cite the source of that statistic?

  21. 21
    Owen Jones QC says:

    That fuckwit Cameron’s “apology” may have caused a mistrial. Judge not happy. Not happy at all.

    What a knob we have as Prime Minister.

  22. 22
    Predictive text runs amok says:


  23. 23
    Jizzminge Allwhine Brown says:

    Don’t accept the apology, Jake !

  24. 24
    Nick says:

    David Cameron lacks political judgement you don’t employ someone like Andy Coulson with his type of background

    it was a very bad move but there are many like Cameron who lack judgement all round so it’s unlikely any lessons will be learned for the future

  25. 25
    Nil Sympathy says:

    My experience is that 100% have made their reasons known but I knocked off .01% in case there is an odd bod in the comments.

    People just do, they always do, make it known in my experience.

    Plus that sarcastic Tweet gives his game away.

  26. 26
    Junkers says:

    Eric Joyce was looking at my bird, but he’s my best mate now. Hic

  27. 27
    Polish Minister says:

    Your guy Cameron fucks everything up, no?

  28. 28
    Peter Martin says:

    Maybe Chukka can be prevailed upon to run a post-owl social media training course for the party, and its remaining public member?

  29. 29
    The British media are cunts says:

    The BBC are simply fucked off that Brooks walked away. The dozy lefty bitch on the Sky paper review had to be corrected when she accused .brooks of getting away with it.

  30. 30
    Something smells fishy says:

    Tory MP

    Married to a woman


  31. 31
    Jim says:

    This ‘predictive’ txt is an abomination-and why is it used as an excuse for relaying gibberish to the sycophants whom follow twitterers?
    Are people that desperate to get their splurge out that they are incapable of reading what has appeared on the screen and correcting it?
    No excuse.

  32. 32
    I'll eat to that says:

  33. 33
    Dave Cameron says:

    Can you sort my leaking cabinet out?

  34. 34
    The Nazi Party says:

    We tried to destroy Britain out of necessity, Labour tried to destroy it out of spite/

  35. 35
    Dr Quack says:

    Just admit the Party to the nearest NHS Hospital; that’ll quiet them – permanently.

  36. 36
    Nick Clegg says:

    Well jell.

  37. 37
    Have a gay day says:

    But what about gay marriage?

  38. 38
    Andy Burnham (serial killer by association) says:

    Once you’ve been caught red-handed trying to cover up the deaths of thousands of vulnerable patients in NHS hospitals, it’s kind of hard to descend any further.

    But we’ll try.

  39. 39
    Eric Pickles says:

    Just a few more hours at it and Sky Sports News will have asked every person in Britain what they think about Luis Suarez.

  40. 40
    A Brazilian Rent Boy says:

    I would be happy to fondle his buttocks.

  41. 41
    Anonymous says:

    Do we know that he didn’t?
    His name would have been called out because it was on the published order paper. He may well have contacted the Speaker’s office to say that he wouldn’t be able to attend.

  42. 42
    nell says:

    I presume he did give notification to the sp e a k er s office hence the sp e a ker knew to announce him as absent.

  43. 43
    Sue Denim says:

    Do you know the full circumstances? If my wife was rushed to hospital in an emergency, the last thing I would be thinking of would be informing my employer. After the event, whilst she was recovering, I might think to call them to let them know what was happening. In general, mobile ‘phones have to be switched off in hospitals.

  44. 44
    Drat and double drat says:

    What is the difference between Cook the Captain of the England XI and Ed Milican’t? Bugger all. They’re both hopeless losers. Neither of whom will resign.
    Or, indeed Cameron the PM and Hodgson the Manager of England’s football squad? Nope still no difference. Neither of them make convincing excuses. In Hodgson’s case, he claims to have sent out a young team, the better to gain experience….of losing. At least Cameron has that experience and will repeat it in 330 or so days time.
    It would make some difference if Clegg could cross the sword-lines and bite a chunk out of Balls. He might gain a bit of respect AND sort out a terminal condition that is certainly going to prove fatal for him and his Party in a few months time.

  45. 45
    Sue Denim says:

    Lessons are NEVER learned.

  46. 46
    Bill Untidy says:

    Umunna should be warned not to get his member out in public and especially not in the potential presence of an owl. Owls, whilst possessed of strong binocular vision, can be tempted into predatory behaviour by waving, local game. He might find that in the wink of an eye the passing owl will have secured its talons into his member and he finds himself half way up a tree and being dragged back to the owl’s nest. This, of course, holds good with not a few MPs also.
    On no account should he attempt to wear the owl on his person.

  47. 47

    They are such a nasty bunch. They should really think about what they are saying.

  48. 48


    Don t worry you may be in hospital emergency one day then we ll see how you manage telling the dentist/opticisn/plumber whether you can be there or not .

    Perhaps he texted AFTER the emergency was over and patient was sedated giving him time !

  49. 49
    The two Muppets says:

    Yes , they really are the nasty party .

  50. 50
    Ticket collector says:

    That is what I said a post or two back – and all I got for my pains of trying to help people along was insults and disparagement. So they can all fuck off and live in illiterate land.

  51. 51
    Jack Cade says:

    Poor old Suarez has masticatory tourettes.

  52. 52
    diane abbott says:

    hehe nobody noticed i was missing today, KFC is doing buy 3 family buckets and get one free, I dem went and got six of the motherfuckers for lunch. True dat init now go divide and rule summit you racist whitey

  53. 53
    How the elite look after each other says:

    One could be forgiven for thinking he did it on purpose !

  54. 54
    Anonymous says:

    Fuck off Bryant, you’re a filthy faggot.

  55. 55
    RWG says:

    Nil humanity, more like.

    You’re a so-called manager, aren’t you, you poisonous shit?

  56. 56
    Big Momma says:

    Just another Labour troll are you not?

  57. 57
    Joe Bloggs. says:

    Today was a bad day for me on radio 4.
    Awoke at just after 6am to hear the dulcet tones of Harriet Harperson and later David Blunkett.
    Switched off all day but put on PM to just miss the same Harriet Harperson and then Caroline Quinn on her usual biased diatribe about Cameron et al et al.
    Off now for the rest of the day. At this rate all my radios will join my TV on the scrap heap and I will use the internet only.

  58. 58
    Joe Public says:

    Labour are still trying with the same old front bench criminals.
    Thank goodness they do not learn from past mistakes.

  59. 59
    Man on a corner. says:

    What do you expect? The BBC get their orders from the Guardian, while Miliband gets his from the unions.

  60. 60
    Londonistan Serial Postal Voter. says:

    When yo is mayor of our Londonistan den KFC will give yo free bukets of chicken.

  61. 61

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  62. 62
    Arthur Penney says:

    We can always hoe that Miliband becomes a better loser through constant practice.

  63. 63
    Bill de Burgh says:

    Suarez = Soundbyte

    Ay thenkyaw!!!

  64. 64
    charles hughes says:

    @Nil Sympathy

    Nil Brain i suggest…rather than Nil Sympathy!! Acting like Labour Whips are we?

    Foot and mouth and in come to mind!!

    Rather badly thought through and impatient comment i believe?

  65. 65
    Sir Watkin Bassett (Fic) says:

    @Hattie Hatemen

    A true Pro!!!

    Could sit astride a chainsaw and still justify Labour policy if she was told to… with a smile!

  66. 66

    Are you Big Mama Cass ?

    I loved your California Dreamin and Monday Monday .

    What s it like in the afterlife — d you recommend it?

  67. 67

    I believe the politically correct term for that headgear is … raghead.

  68. 68

    No chance he ll be able to flannel his scrotum anytime soon then .

  69. 69

    Well he was aprehensive about the patient outcome .

    Wouldn t you be if you had to consign a loved one to the tender loving C -diff of one of our wondrous UK hospitals?

    Personally i d have buggered off to France if time allowed .
    They may be near bankrupt but theirhealth service is second to none .
    They even give free massages on the State — but it seems Hollande decided to go “private”.

  70. 70
    Gheedough's Facebook fans says:

    ” If my wife was rushed to hospital in an emergency, the last thing I would be thinking of would be informing my employer.”

    But you’d have time to send twitter twats?

  71. 71

    As Cherie Blair and Tony and all their legal fraternity would say ;

    “Not sufficiently SOTTO Prime Minister”

  72. 72

    Bless me Father for I have sinned
    I hired Andy Coulson
    When he was already binned
    I said I d do Rupe a favour so he wouldn t drop me outright
    Father !
    You have no idea how pissed I was that night!!

  73. 73

    Keep taking the absinthe Jean-Claude

  74. 74
    Gheedough's Facebook fans says:

    “Labour Sorry for Hospitalised MP Wife Attack”

    This headline make no sense, and the implication is false.

    Also, only teenaged Americal girls say that stupid “awkward” at the end on sentences.

    Gheedough, you are a fucking useless sucker of the cuckold’s old cock.

  75. 75
    Anonymous says:

    Am I the only one who finds this video somewhat erotic and arousing?

  76. 76
    Cyril Smith says:

    Did someone say flannel a scrotum?
    Always glad to be of assistance!

  77. 77
    Nil By Mouth says:

    Trumped-up turd. Yeah, someone’s job comes before your ‘employee’s’ family life. Methinks you’ve got the whole Game Of Life ‘Arse before tit’ mukka.

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