June 24th, 2014

Dave Upstages Salmond’s Big Day

Events are being held today to mark the 700th anniversary of the Battle of Bannockburn, fought on 23 and 24 June, 1314. Clans are coming from far and wide for the main event, a recreation of the battle taking place just outside Stirling, where around 300 spear-wielding warriors will battle it out. According to the Beeb:

“Visitors will be able to explore a war camp complete with a kitchen, blacksmith and a hospital, as well as see weaponry including 12ft spears used to fend off cavalry charges up-close.”

Alex Salmond probably thinks the festivities are a pretty shrewd move in referendum year, but will he still be smirking in a few days time when the Prime Minister arrives to celebrate Stirling Armed Forces Day? Dave is bringing with him hundreds of real soldiers and pipers, while the Red Arrows have been brought in to colour the sky red, white and blue, just in case the message wasn’t subtle enough. Still too chicken to debate the First Minister though…


108 Comments

  1. 1
    inside out says:

    Two useless leaders with big egos and no policies

    Like

    • 11
      Dave in Wonderland says:

      To show I do not represent just England I shall be tossing the haggis.

      Like

    • 14
      All is not what it seems says:

      By the way don’t believe the press when they say Dave fucked up over Junckers. Dave didn’t, he wants this fight, make him look good.

      He has the final say anyway if he cares to say it.

      Like

      • 49
        The Lone Ranger says:

        The BBC love to repeat over and over again that Cameron has lost. HTF do they know?

        Like

      • 68
        'Ave yeu a lacence for that minkey says:

        Having watched fuckwit on the News late last night, his keepers have shifted the rules of the game so that Dickhead looks to have won (but will actually lose).
        Thus, the aim is now not to get Junker removed but to have his appointment voted upon by the MEPs. Due to the imbedded majorities this will confirm Junker but it “appears” that bumsex Dave actually “won” the point that Junker’s appointment should go to the Euro-Parliament.
        Does he think we are stupid? Clearly!

        Like

    • 18
      David Cameron says:

      With my friend Lynton, and a few friends amongst the EU leaders, I have a GREAT idea. It’s to pretend to be against the Federalists and be fighting for Britain. Just leak a few carefully set up stories

      http://www.telegraph.co.uk/news/worldnews/europe/eu/10921654/EU-allies-berate-incompetent-Cameron.html

      It’s all part of the plan really of course.

      Like

    • 72
      scot2go2 says:

      ask the Polish about dave and his going forward policies… but… as a BritNatz you will never listen to the real true leader A.S. who removed prescription charges …. university fees… tolls….. costs of medical care for the elderly & infirm… including many of your compatriates who somehow find England no longer their home… too bad the truth hurts…

      Liked by 1 person

    • 76
      Cometh the hour Cometh the man says:

      Anyone seen Dave?

      Like

  2. 1
    boris johnson says:

    if we lose scotland, where will we get our supply of tramps from?

    Like

  3. 3
    Billy Big says:

    Call Me Dave is useless and the common conclusion is that, look at what the Poles have said about him!

    If he had any balls (sic) he would go to the country now and call a referndum on the EU. WE would say OUT! He would romp the next election with a massive Tory majority and could then go on to be classed as a great PM not unlike Mrs Thatcher.

    If he doesn’t do this he will be slaughtered from now till the Election Day where he will be beaten by Millimong and Farage whereupon the Tories will be a busted flush like the Conservatives in Canada became when they ignored the Reform Party.

    Like

  4. 5
    the mystical mould with the appearance of the face of Jesus says:

    this Salmond bloke seems a bit fishy to me.

    Like

  5. 6

    Morgen, barmann! Zwei Spitzenkandidaten bitte!

    Like

    • 9
      Jacques Derridooda says:

      Man walks into pet shop and asks, “How much are wasps?”

      Pet Shop owner replies, “Don’t be so silly! We are a pet shop – we don’t stock wasps!”

      Man says, “Well you have got one in your window…”

      Like

  6. 7
    Owen Jones says:

    Please don’t anyone be going on holiday to Egypt What’s happened to Peter Greste & fellow journalists is a total disgrace. Free them now!

    Like

    • 95
      Anonymous says:

      Thank goodness Britain isn’t the sort of country that would find an excuse to jail journalists.

      Like

  7. 8
    Steve Miliband says:

    Devolution was meant to put Independence to bed, but Labour screwed up and the SNP got a Holyrood majority. The SNP were not expecting it and consequently are having to make it up as the go along, for example the actual cost of seperation

    Like

  8. 10
    Steve says:

    Hopefully Scotland will vote for independence, so the rest of us in England will be able to rid ourselves of any Labour government. The Tories should be cheering for independence!

    Like

    • 74
      scot2go2 says:

      what happens in Engerland after we leave will be a disaster…. EU cant be bothered with rUK… ukip will hold the balance of power…. the libs will disappear… dave will sell everything not nailed down… you’ll have tridents in the thames… the Chineese will own most of the South… all of Mi2 +3 will be preparing for the gay pride march…. and ed will open a burger bar in Romford…

      Like

    • 96
      Braveheart says:

      It won’t be up to me but, having nailed his Union Jack to the mast, David Conman will become the Unionist answer to Bonnie Prince Charlie, except that Charlie was good-looking. Other Unionists will never ever forgive him for the “loss” of Scotland and they will not vote him back into high office. My prediction is that they will reach for the reassurance of a Labour government, while Scotland seeks to rediscover its small-state liberal (and not Lib Dem) social and economic heritage.

      Like

  9. 12
    peter prosthetic says:

    where will the british army get its cannon fodder from???

    Like

  10. 13
    Alex Salmond says:

    Know what I think? I think Scotland will vote no. Because that’s what people do. They bottle it.

    Like

  11. 20
    The Pixel never lies says:

    Like

  12. 21
    Get Rid of Scotland says:

    Dear Scotland, please vote Yes.

    An English Taxpayer

    Like

  13. 22
    ISIS (Islamic State in Iraq and al-Sham) says:

    Morning all,what’s happening ?

    Like

  14. 23
    Axelgrease has certainly got his work cut out says:

    Like

    • 32
      Ed Milimong says:

      Thith ith twue! UKIP’th voterth cannot communicate thwough the medium of email and thothial media! Not being able to communicate pwoperly? How thtupid ith that?

      PS: Cotht of living cwythith.

      Like

  15. 26
    Kevin from Southport says:

    I hope my Owl arrives today.

    Like

    • 38
      Owlf Garnet says:

      I could hear mine flying around last night. Fuck knows how I’m supposed to catch it. Maybe if I tie my daughter’s girbils to the washing line my owl might take the bait.

      Like

  16. 28
    The BBC thinks everywhere is like Dalston says:

    “Visitors will be able to explore a war camp complete with a kitchen, blacksmith and a hospital”

    And no doubt, on the BBC’s coverage, lots of effnics, too. Just like in 1314.

    Like

    • 53
      The Lone Ranger says:

      and loos – just like at any Glastonbury. Will “Lana del Rey” be performing?

      Like

    • 97
      Fred the pensioner says:

      I seem to recall we had one of them dressed up in tails and a top hat masquerading as an oppressive mill owner at the Olympic dramathon.

      Like

  17. 29
    I have a dream says:

    That the Scotts fuck off and we get the ungrateful bastards off of the English tax payer’s left teat and then we then tell the EU to fuck off and so get the bastards off of our right tax payers teat.

    Imagine an independent England with Socialism banished for ever…….I have a (wet) dream

    Like

    • 78
      scot2go2 says:

      Thank you for your warm ….shared 300 years of history … pooling & sharing … all in this tigither comments… which I have posted far & wide for all to see what a wonderful lot that Londonstanais are… so tolerant…. isn’t that what your Fb page says…

      Like

  18. 30
    Fuckwit Watch says:

    Like

  19. 33
    Axe The Telly Tax & Religion & Kill All Eco-loons says:

    The YES campaign in Scotland just need to bang on, day in day out, between now and September, that an independent Scotland will never have to suffer rule by a Tory government from London (Thatcher 80s,Cameron today) that a majority of Scots didn’t vote for and they’ll win the referendum with a landslide.

    The NO camp can’t promise no more Tory rule for Scotland, only the YES to independence camp can.

    Freeeeeedom!

    Liked by 1 person

    • 39
      Diane Abbott is the cause of racist comment says:

      Fuck me you are daft!!!!!!

      The real freedom is England free of the Labour voting twats in Scotland – give it 5 years and the scottish bastards will be flooding south to get away from your scottish Marxist Utopia

      Like

      • 54
        Scotland is a wet misty midgy pile of crap and full of parasites says:

        This is why we need to mine the boarder and build a fucking big barrier with razor wire and guntowers.

        Like

        • 86
          Come on Costa Rica says:

          What the fuck is ‘the boarder ‘ you ignorant uneducated fucking bigoted daftie ????

          Like

        • 107
          scot2go2 says:

          your forgetting the guard dogs…. as we wouldn’t want another influx of white settlers coming up to tell us once again how we should give all our wealth to Engerland..

          Like

  20. 35
    On the buffers says:

    Like

    • 42
      Diane Abbott is the cause of racist comment says:

      Hell!!!! Beckett is looking more attractive than Ashton

      Like

    • 43
      Owlf Garnet says:

      Dame Margaret Beckett? DAME? Are you fucking kidding me? Cameron allowed that? Bad enough he let ueber-mong Dawn Primarollo become a Dame, but not pruneface, too.

      Like

      • 57
        The Lone Ranger says:

        Doesn’t matter. Always put titles like “Lord”, “Sir” “The Rt Hon” in inverted commas when writing to or about these bastards. Let them know the level of your respect!

        Like

  21. 36
    Full and Frank Watch says:

    Like

  22. 40
    Is Sarah Teather inside it? says:

    Like

  23. 41
    Purple Dogzzz says:

    Like

  24. 45
    Albert's chainsaw sharpeners says:

    Dave can bring all the military he wants to Stirling, but don’t talk to a Scot about Bannockburn, to Scots it’s more of being a yesterday happening and being English you will get the full treatment of what happened and a bloody long history, but saying that Stirling and my personal memories well, lets say Scots Independence has more going for it than Dave has even if he pissed out of a top window onto the helmet of a copper just for a bit of PR.

    Go for it Scotland vote YES

    Like

    • 61
      Briton says:

      Are Scots really so childish as to be swayed by such things as ancient battles (between Normans), England’s World Cup performance, ‘toffs’ (with Scottish surnames) ruling in London-and the slimiest politician this side of the Atlantic? Sadly, yes.

      Like

    • 83
      Hoots mon w'ere skint the noo says:

      The reason there is a Union between England and Scotland, is that Scotland went bankrupt persuing dreams of empire in South America, and then came to England with a begging bowl.

      Like

      • 106
        scot2go2 says:

        in your wet dreams sonny… Scots Lords went belly up… not the public who were not eligible to vote for any union….. as they were not men of property… so try… really try look up some facts before you post…. and please just remember that all these silly little remarks will be kept near by when southerners come a begging…. as your future like a fracking…

        Like

  25. 46
    Peeping Bob says:

    To the poster who keeps posting pics of young ladies with their boobies out – thank you

    Like

    • 65
      Sue Denim says:

      Because they’re really difficult to find elsewhere on the Internet.

      Like

      • 81
        Local Northern Yokel says:

        It’s just a pun on the sun isn’t it? Probably a flat chested feminista who doesn’t like this forum. Has to post b00bs from the interwebs as she hasn’t got any of her own to show us.

        Like

  26. 47
    Atualpa says:

    How many people realise that non-uk citizens of the EU residing in Scotland at the time of the referendum on Scottish independence get a vote on the break up of the UK, while residents of the other countries of the UK, ie England, Wales, Northern Ireland,do not?

    Like

    • 51
      Scotland is a wet misty midgy pile of crap and full of parasites says:

      This is where Salmond missed a trick – he should have insisted the English (in England) could vote for Scottish independence, too; his victory would have been assured.

      Like

      • 75
        Atualpa says:

        you’re not the first to have suggested this. If England residents had been given a vote, I’m sure a Yes movement would soon have sprung spring up here , backed by the many millions of English people tired of subsidising the relatively small number of wingeing Scots who choose to remain in Scotland (a hugely greater number remain abroad). Salmond, Cameron et al must surely be aware of this!

        Like

    • 66
      Anonymous says:

      And Scots like me living in England do not get a vote either (though English living in Scotland do).

      Like

      • 70
        Albert's chainsaw sharpeners says:

        I reckon Salmond and all the politicians in the House of Corruption would be in shock if the Scots voted YES, I think Salmond the snake oil salesman is playing a game of chicken, he wants to keep the UK as it is but wants more and more money for Scotland and screw who has to pay it.

        Like

      • 82
        scot2go2 says:

        Yes… and bloody second home owners who make money out of tourism from their wee bothy in the glens get two F+++++g votes… but once we nationalise ALL the land and tax these parasites out of existence…. and wave the last pickfords removal van southwards carrying its nuclear aresenal… then we will have finally made it…. YES.

        Like

        • 98
          Fred the pensioner says:

          It is all a very good idea – but the tiny flaw in the porridge is that 99% of the Scots are too bloody think to take advantage of this golden opportunity.

          Like

  27. 52
    Anonymous says:

    I wonder if Alex Salmond attended the 500th anniversary of the Battle of Flodden last year…A rout of the Scots – 10,000 dead including the King!

    Like

  28. 56
    Alex Salmond says:

    Just booked my Wimbledon ticket. Expect to see my fat fucking face waving the flag as Murray gets beaten in the final again.

    Like

  29. 64

    Th’ sooner they rebuild Hadrians Wall th’ better, innit?

    Like

    • 87
      Come on Costa Rica says:

      Feel free you geographical illiterate, and in the course of which you will have ceded most of Northumbria and some of Cumbria over to Scotland. Tit !

      Like

  30. 73
    Anonymous says:

    “a recreation of the battle taking place just outside Stirling,”
    involving Dave and Alex, will definitively decide if an independent Scotland gets to keep Stirling. Or not.

    Like

  31. 88
    Same old same old says:

    Have I got this right the Inglish King Edward II was into bumsex ?

    Like

  32. 92
    gravatarmysteryman says:

    Like

  33. 102
    Chris says:

    Why would Cameron want to debate with a turd?

    Like

    • 105
      scot2go2 says:

      well he debates with a pile of turds at PMQs and also the wee woman who lives in the big house at the end of the mall so he should be well used to it…

      Like

  34. 103
    YGoHome! says:

    “Still too chicken to debate the First Minister though…”

    Why would he dabate the subject of the fist minister?

    Surely a debate about indepemndence *with* the fist minister would be more pertinent.

    Like

  35. 104
    scot2go2 says:

    Stirling Council have just announced that Royal Navy Day will be held in Stirling on the 12th September 2014. They have denied this is being timed to coincide with the annual Battle of Stirling Bridge Commemoration. Two destroyers, an aircraft carrier and a nuclear submarine will be visiting Stirling and moored at Stirling Boating Club where the public will be invited to come along and enjoy a festival celebrating the role of the River Forth in forging the British Empire.
    Unlike

    Like


Seen Elsewhere

Does Europe Really Want Britain to Quit? | Nick Wood
Immigration Nation | Hopi Sen
Tories Choose Anti-Israel Candidate in Rochester | JC
Osborne’s Daycare Obsession is a Time Bomb | Kathy Gyngell
BBC Marr Pinko Trying to Ban the Queen | Speccie
Eric Hobsbawm: Companion of Dishonour | Standpoint
Guido Party Gossip | Iain Dale
Russell Brand Comes Out as 9/11 Truther | Guardian
Health Revolution is Underway | Fraser Nelson
UKIP Gets Professional | Red Box
Kelly Tolhurst Wins Rochester Open Primary | BBC


VOTER-RECALL
Find out more about PLMR


Austrian Chancellor Werner Faymann on Cameron’s refusal to pay the £1.7 billion EU bill by December 1st:

“Well, then he’s gonna pay on December 2nd”



Mycroft says:

Have you read the last bit of Animal Farm?

You know where the animals are looking through the Farmhouse window?

My TV screen was that window at lunch-time today.

Be careful, the sudden self-congratulatory tone, the slightly pudgy outline of indulgence and you become exactly what you should despise.

The jolly face of the Quisling Cameron poses for your camera has mesmerised and deceived you, you who were once not so deceived.

You were no firebrand, you were a damp squib in my opinion, sorry.

You need a damned good kick up the ahse!


Tip off Guido
Web Guido's Archives

Subscribe me to:






RSS




AddThis Feed Button
Archive


Labels
Guido Reads
Follow

Get every new post delivered to your Inbox.

Join 1,545 other followers