June 23rd, 2014

Toff Sex Scandal Story Mysteriously Spiked By Mail Online

A classic Mail Online toff sex scandal story appeared online late last night, reporting that the multi-millionaire banker and Oxfordshire landowner Jamie Lonsdale, 55, is to marry a Russian pole dancer called Crystal Night following his divorce from wife Laura, once lady-in-waiting to Princess Diana. A cracking tale, and one that would no doubt titillate Mail Online readers, so why has the story been taken down from the website this morning?

Perhaps someone in the office mentioned that Laura Greig, the scorned ex-wife, is the sister of Mail on Sunday editor Geordie Greig. Better hope he didn’t notice


  1. 1
    Self preservation says:

    Fair enough.

    Would you humiliate your Boss’ sister?


  2. 2
    Abbott is the New Boris says:


  3. 6
    Steve Coogan says:

    Glad to see press freedom is alive and well in Great Britain. If only there was a campaign organisation to ensure it exists unmolested, eh?


  4. 10
    Owen fuckin' Jones - Working C-larse Hero says:

    Reverse ferret!


  5. 12

    Vote UKIP :-D


    • 24
      Socialism is theft says:

      Before the internet people must have been really thick. Is that why they all voted Labour or Tory?


      • 43
        The Lone Ranger says:

        In the old days, we knew nothing bad about our betters. My old granny went to her grave thinking Lord Boothby was a Christian gentleman.


        • 66
          Jack Ketch. says:

          But he was. He used to say “Oh, Jesus, yes, yes!” when Ronnie was giving him some Bethnal Green sausage and “The Lord giveth and the Lord taketh away while porking Dorothy Mac.


    • 98
      ed milliband peoples representitive of somewhere up north i have to visit every now and again says:

      thank you,have just email him to show him the error of his ways..ooh and a photo of the plaque commemorating the founding of the labour party in doncaster railway station with a vote ukip sticker on it


    • 120
      Cyber UKIPPER-Taking the FB page from 8K Likes to 60K+ says:

      If the turd turned up on our page talking shite, I’d have torn him a new arsehole. We’ve already seen off all the Tory, Libdem, Labour, HnH, Common Purpose and EU Trolls. I’d have bounced the fucktard so fucking high, he’d need a fucking space suit!


  6. 15
    Anonymous says:

    The Times is running the story the best bit is “… listing appearances on Playboy Cybergirls, and the Only Tease website which promised beautiful women waiting to tempt and tease”. Luck sod.


  7. 19
    Ah! wonder why says:

    No mention of Rossiter sex scandal on BBC.

    Funny that.


  8. 20
    Gay Dave says:

    I’m having him ejected from the Bullingdon Bumsex Club. The guy’s obviously straight and cannot remain as one of our Members.


  9. 21
    Helen Grant MP Minister for Sport says:

    I am given to understand that some people out there have been trying to use their connections to be excused from today’s rounders match and our weekly Zumba dancing class. This would explain the woeful performance last week.
    I want a list of names of those who have been shirking their duties and will expect everyone to turn up and enjoy themselves as ordered next time round.

    England expects!


  10. 22
    DtP says:

    Crystal Night – Kristell Nacht – hmm….no matter, no matter!


  11. 23
    Geordie Greggs-Piegobbler says:

    Better a Russian Pole dancer than a Polish Russian dancer.


  12. 33
    Silly old bastards never learn says:

    I give it 6 months


    • 44
      Anonymous says:

      Yeh, but he’ll have fun in that time, probably spend all his money also.


    • 55
      jgm2 says:

      I give it 10 months. Just long enough to get pregnant, have the kid and then demand to be kept in the manner to which she has become accustomed. For the sake of the kid you understand.


    • 85
      They never learn says:

      Indeed. By all means slip her one – but marriage? The guys off his rocker. He could buy a different pole dancer every week.


  13. 34

    All these strange things have a common cause, Scottish Rite freemasonry!


  14. 36

    haha funny when the shit hits their own face


  15. 38

    P’rincess D’iana was god parent to his daughter Leonora:


    Vote UKIP :-D


  16. 46
    Mornington Crescent says:

    There’s no fool like an old fool.

    Laugh? My pole dropped off.


  17. 47
    Chris Bryant says:

    Not only do I wash my dirty linen in public I wear it


  18. 54
    Idon'tneednodoctor says:

    It seems to me that those that cry racism are usually the biggest racists.


  19. 64
    Simon Hughes says:

    It’s not fair all the pretty girls get the rich men


  20. 76
  21. 81
    Bill Quango MP says:

    English literature:

    If it were done when ’tis done, then ’twere well
    It were done quickly:
    What does this line tell us about the state of mind and motivations of McBalls. – {4 marks}

    Ed McBalls considers wielding the knife. The ghost of “Bonkquo” Brown haunts his dreams.
    If “Bonkquo” had struck down King Tony in 2003, he would have been king of all Scotland..Mc Balls frets not at the deed, the murder of poor, simple King Dumbkin McMilibnad,. But frets at the vengeance that McMiliband clan may seek to extract from McBalls.


  22. 84

    Doesn’t mention she is R’ussian on her profile – but she is apparently a Soprano:


    Vote UKIP :-D


  23. 86
    Anonymous says:

    Any relation to Crystal Meths?


  24. 88
    Dave says:

    Just seen this story in the print edition of the Mail.


  25. 101
    joekano76 says:

    Reblogged this on Floating-voter.


    • 111

      Seeing your Blair avatar Joe Kano reminds me of a priceless typo in todays FT ALPHAVILLE online — where the Middle EAST became the Middle EASY….

      Obviously a lifestyle change effected as a result of the region being frequented over the PAST four years by the (self?) appointed Middle East Peace Negotiator and his retinue .


  26. 103
    Dr Evil says:

    Ooooooopppppsssssss! Blood on the walls and carpet over at the DM.


  27. 113
    Bill de Burgh says:

    I know it’s not about looks. Really, I do.
    But that image of Abopotamus, at post #2……
    I first of all invite you to look at it, if you can stomach it.
    Then, I invite you to google up an image of the Morlocks, from the re-make of “The Time Machine.
    Then, I defy you to see any fcuking material difference between the two.
    Thanks, everybody.


  28. 122
    Ivor Biggun says:

    Why has she got Christmas lights round her head?


  29. 123
    Gerhard says:

    Knight, not Night…

    http://www.modelmayhem.com/266231 ;)


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