June 20th, 2014

Friday Caption Contest (Real Men Don’t Hit Women Edition)


  1. 1
    Jim Graham says:

    “You know you look ridiculous, right?” said the rabbit.

  2. 2
    NERMAL says:

    Yes but is Yasmin Alibaba a real women?

  3. 3
    David of Stourbridge says:

    (spoken): “That hare’s not real! And look at that person dressed as a rabbit!”

  4. 4
    Maimed Codger says:

    There is this Lady Authoress would like to meet you…

  5. 5
    Albert's chainsaw sharpeners says:

    The bubble has gone so far with it’s isms that it has lost it’s way in how to see something as a joke, sad gits.

  6. 6
    Anonymous says:

    White Rabbit: The tea party starts in 5 minutes.
    Mad Hatter: I’m just going to get my topper.

  7. 7
    Albert's chainsaw sharpeners says:

    Sockit to me makes a return to the bunny club.

  8. 8
    Anonymous says:

    Not guilty! I’ve got an Alibi.

  9. 9
    Mr Sweary says:

    Sorry, I thought you said Fabri-Hunt

  10. 10
    Albert's chainsaw sharpeners says:

    Green man claims bunny is a racist.

  11. 11

    “A rabbit punch can detach the victim’s brain from the brain stem. Is that what happened to you Mr FabriHunt?”

  12. 12
    Genghiz the kahn says:

    As Steve Gerrard and the rest of the team stood around like frightened rabbits, the FA reveal the new kit for their next match against Costa Coffee.

  13. 13
    Steve Miliband says:

    Where’s my fucking owl?

  14. 14

    Mr Fabricant I am your Bad Hare Day-o-gram.

  15. 15
    excon says:

    Haza for Micky Fab, haza haza haza

  16. 16
    HP says:

    Punch me again, and it’s you who will be late. As in the Late Mr Fabricant.

  17. 17
    A1 says:

    I kill rabbits.

  18. 18
    Nigel Farage says:

    Fabricant ” Cheer up you miserable looking git,after losing tonight I wouldn’t fancy England’s chances against Costa Coffee never mind Costa Rica.”

  19. 19
    Graham says:

    I normally skin bunny boilers

  20. 20
    Hadley "Screaming Banshee" Freeman says:


  21. 21
    peter sharp says:

    I’m so sorry. I thought you asked to see my manifesto.

  22. 22
    Graham says:

    Thank goodness you’re not dressed up as Yasmin Alibhai-Brown

  23. 23
    pigs in space says:

    Help!… It’s the Hare Bore Punch!

  24. 24
    Fabricated says:

    This way for naricissism

  25. 25

    Can I introduce you to Boris?

  26. 26
    Yazza Alibaba says:

  27. 27
    BBC 24hr rolling bollocks says:

    That’s my best Sunday wig give it back you rotter *biff*

  28. 28
    Dot Cottons fag says:

  29. 29
    Socialism is theft says:

    Neil Kinnock wants to know if you are all white.

  30. 30
    Rotherhampoofta says:

    Hey whatsup HoC!

  31. 31
    Tim says:

    Leave before I punch you in the dewlap, Rabbit-Pie-Brown

  32. 32
    Dave in Wonderland says:

    We can reform the EU.

  33. 33
    Bill Quango MP says:

    That was very bunny.

  34. 34
    peter sharp says:

    You’d like to take the Hare Test? My room is this way.

  35. 35

    ” Sorry love …..but if you had a Llama costume I might be up for it!”

  36. 36
    McBride says:

    No! Owls! Not fucking rabbits!!

  37. 37
    Anonymous says:

    Scousers won’t like this much. So soon after Miliband and the Sun thingy.


  38. 38
    Michael Fabricant says:

    So you’re the candidate who ‘knocked’ the LibDems into fifth place.

  39. 39
    blueinE10 says:

    “And then I pull you out of the hat like this . . .”

  40. 40
    Bugs says:

    No, Mr Fabricant, I said “bad hare” day.

  41. 41
    Laughing Out Loud says:

    Hare, hare, hare, hare

  42. 42
    In the neck says:

    I said Thumper not thump her…honestly.

  43. 43
    Dave in Wonderland says:

    Fabricant: It’s just a bad hare day.

  44. 44
    Round the bend says:

    Youre right, I should not punch, how about a ‘poke in the eye then’.

  45. 45
    Banned says:

    The Police wouldn’t go near it. They don’t want to be reminded that they are “institutionally racist”.

  46. 46
    Ken Dodd's Dad's Dog's Dead says:

    “Don’t you just hate it, when you’ve got a hare out of place?”

  47. 47
    Alex Salmond says:

    Get stuffed! Harry Potter has an owl and he’s a Hunt.

  48. 48
  49. 49
    Bugs says:

    All I said was “I’m having a bad hare day too”, and then it all kicked off.

  50. 50
    Banned says:

    “take that stupid wig off your head, you are fooling nobody”

  51. 51
    Y->AB ... FA ... bang... brown down says:

    Yibber Yabber Wop. FaaaaaaaaaaaaB

  52. 52
    Aardvark says:

    Its OK to rape, prostitute, drug and beat hundreds of girls from the age of 11 – as long as they’re White and you’re not.

    But — if you slap your old lady be sure the Fuzz will be round in a jiffy.

    Zero tolerance.

  53. 53
    Taca_taca says:

    No you can’t have best of three. And stop pretending to be a Stone

  54. 54
    Braveheart says:

    Rabbit: Ha! Missed!
    Fabricant: That wasn’t a punch. I’m just summoning my owl.

  55. 55
    Graham says:

    You are a hare today, gone tomorrow politician

  56. 56
    Peter Masters says:

    Sorry, thought you said YAB-bit…

  57. 57
    Nurse Ratched says:

    Just imagine the bed-wetting that would have occurred if anyone who was even vaguely associated with UKIP had expressed an urge to punch a mozza in the throat.

  58. 58
    Blue Peter Goldfish says:

    Ten and Six (10/6) have a very unhappy unbirthday.

  59. 59
    Bert says:

    LBGT author, shurely?

    Wot has just alienated 76% of her Twatter followers by posting pix of a disembowelled bunny.

  60. 60
    Paniagua V5.1 says:

    Fabricant …

    “Took the wife out last night. One punch, classic”

  61. 61

    It is not against the law for me to think that YA-B is of the achromatic colour of least lightness and apparently devoid of any useful prefrontal cortex, is it?

    OK, that is what I think.

    Come and get me…

  62. 62
    Canute says:

    “You’re late you say?
    Are you sure that I’m the father?”

  63. 63
    Stephen Procter says:

    Can I offer you some of Jeanette Wintersons’ parsley?

  64. 64
    Django says:

    UKIP rabbit terrifies Tory into defensive aikido stance

  65. 65
    anon says:

    Yes, a racist one.

  66. 66
    anon says:

    oh-er, that’s a turn up, any more info?

  67. 67
    Blue Peter Goldfish says:

    Must have been a good night out… still got my head jammed reverse cowboy up the back legs of a terriers arse.

  68. 68
    He's black he's broon he played for the Toon... Howard Gayle! says:

    White bunny ears……. you waaaacccist!

  69. 69
    Henry Crun says:

    Rabbit says” Let it be known that Mike_Fabricant is welcome any time for tea at The Guido News Room. We will serve fried chicken.

  70. 70
    He's black he's broon he played for the Toon... Howard Gayle! says:

    She is a pompous, bigoted nonentity :)

  71. 71
    Fleur_Peur says:

    Did you just say Haza? Haza what?

  72. 72
    Socialism is a mental illness says:

    She needs to know that millions would line up to punch her lights out………..she exalted in the deaths of 3000 souls in New York….she is a sub-human…..

  73. 73

    Man with improbable headpiece talks to a guy with glasses…

  74. 74
    Nurse Ratched says:

    Nah. UKIP don’t associate with the violent pink far-middle.

  75. 75
    Charlie Sheeeeen says:


  76. 76

    giant rabbit out does tories (again)

  77. 77
    Fabster says:

    I don’t understand the problem. Cameron said he wanted a big-hitter to put up against UKIP.

  78. 78
    Anonymous says:

    Stings like a butterfly, floats like a bee…

  79. 79
    Mike F says:

    You like a girl in that.

  80. 80
    Fleur_Peur says:

    No. I never said SIX times longer

  81. 81
    Robbie says:

    The film set for Donny Darko is that way.

  82. 82
    Dangerous Brian says:

    She is a stupid c*nt, there I said it, please come and get me, I can’t be right in the head, I must be a racist misogynist etc etc etc blah blah blah

  83. 83
    Blondie says:

    I hated Watership Down.

  84. 84
    Anonymous says:

    I said come in a mad hat, not a mad wig!

  85. 85
    The Whig Party Spokesman says:

    March Hare: “I thought they chucked you into chokey for life, Mr. Spector…”

  86. 86
    The Growler says:

    Fabbers meets the White Rabbit who doesn’t look very pleased

  87. 87
    Diane Abbott says:


  88. 88
    Diane Abbott says:


  89. 89
    Diane Abbott says:


  90. 90
    Diane Abbott says:


  91. 91
    Diane Abbott says:



  92. 92
    Diane Abbott says:



  93. 93
    amoorhouse says:

    How do you like my invisible owl?

  94. 94
    I'm cured, make me a sandwich says:

    Fabricant to Rabbit…

    “Look, Harvey, stop following me around. I’ve told you to hang around The House and frighten the bejesus out of the other buggers.”

  95. 95
    fabricant says:

    “CPS Thatcher conference is that way.”

  96. 96
    Jeffrey Bernard says:

    an alibi-ah Brown?

  97. 97
    Steve Coogan says:

    No-one should be allowed to say such things and get away with it. He should be arrested!

  98. 98
    Anonymous says:

    White Rabbit meets Thumper.

  99. 99
    ceejay says:

    Bunny says ” is that the Hare (Hair) of the dog that bit?”

  100. 100
    forgotten man says:

    Real men don’t hit bunnies wearing glasses.

  101. 101
    Anonymous says:

    Rabbit: It is just a bad hare day

  102. 102
    Joelle Bergeron says:

    UKIP Bunny-girl turns down a merger with the Green’s.

  103. 103
    Maximus says:

    Fluffy Bunny: “You can’t hit me, I’m in a safe and secure space.”

  104. 104
    The Great British Public says:

    What’s that ridiculous bit of fluff on top of your head.

    [said the overgrown man dressed as a comical bunny to the Rt Hon Mr Fabricant]

  105. 105
    Bugs says:

    Rabbit: Mrs. Rabbit is driving me to distraction with her constant pro-multicultural leftist whinging.

    Fabricant: Thumper.

  106. 106
    Thlayli says:

    Floppy stands up to abuse

  107. 107
    Ho hum says:

    The bunny’s mightier than the coiffured

  108. 108
    If I Were A Liberal Democrat Candiate I'd Be Worried.. says:

    What’s that?! No-one has to pay for ANYTHING!? (do we all get bunny outfit’s?)

  109. 109
    Anonymous says:

    “Real Men Don’t Hit Women”
    Since just like this world’s warmongers, they invariably get others to do their dirty work for them?

  110. 110
    Radio Bollocks says:

    Real men? Any left? Most real men try and shag (wimmin) rather than hit ‘em. Fabbs is coming on the Radio to explain…

  111. 111
    KGeez00 says:

    Shouldn’t be, I kill “wabbits”?

Seen Elsewhere

Ministry of Justice Loses Death Inquiry Data “In the Post” | TechnoGuido
Europe’s Crisis is Cameron’s Opportunity | Speccie
Sajid Javid is the Ultimate Thatcherite | Buzzfeed
Ed Argar Selected in Dorrell Seat | Leicester Mercury
88% of New Labour MPs Are Union Bods | Mark Wallace
Massively Popular Porn Site is Infecting Users | Techno Guido
Newspapers No Longer Willing to Toe Party Line | Roy Greenslade
Introducing the New CapX | CapX
Burnham’s Newsnight Debacle Dissected | Dan Hodges
How I Survived Dry January | Nigel Farage
Greens are Commies in Disguise | Andrei Rogobete

Rising Stars
Find out more about PLMR AD-MS

Dan Hodges on Labour unity

“We’ve heard a lot over the past few years about how Miliband has united Labour. But he has not united Labour. He has pacified Labour. He has placed it into a medically induced coma following the trauma of the party’s 2010 defeat.”

Tip off Guido
Web Guido's Archives

Subscribe me to:


AddThis Feed Button

Guido Reads

Get every new post delivered to your Inbox.

Join 1,715 other followers