June 19th, 2014

Steven Gerrard Was Doomed

The curse of Jonah strikes again…


186 Comments

  1. 1
    semolina pilchard says:

    Come on Guido you can do better than this

    Like

    • 3
      Kelvin Mackenzie says:

      Fuck off, bitch.

      Like

      • 135
        Out of touch Dave says:

        We can reform the England side.

        Italy will beat Costa Rica and then they will beat Uruguay while England will beat Costa Rica. Then we will win the World cup. That is a cast-iron guarantee.

        Like

        • 142
          Gay Dave says:

          But we’re still the World Champions of House Prices!, and that’s all you fucking greedy, lazy, dumbed-down scum really care about, isn’t it, so cheer up plebs and celebrate your paper wealth until it crashes as planned again, and the bankers are bailed out by taxpayers again.

          Like

        • 158
          Tetrax_Tetrax says:

          Italy and Uruguay will probably sleep on it.

          Like

        • 171
          Helen Grant MP Minister for Sport says:

          You boys really should take up Zumba dancing instead.

          Like

    • 17
      look here. i am an honst mistake. says:

      the abortion did not work out.

      Families are being honest. mettalic red has now become metallic bgreen.
      Britian Great.
      Britain Tall.

      got any spare change for the coffee? mister. I like mine columbian.

      Like

    • 19
      Angelina fan club president says:

      Dame Wayne Rooney. Has a nice ring.

      Like

    • 28
      callum down says:

      To be fair, being a scouse and therefore a professional victim can’t have helped either.

      Like

    • 49
      Great pass by Gerrard...It would have been if they were on the same side says:

      A scouser is never happier than when he is upset and wallowing on self pity.

      Why did he pass the ball to that player from Uruguay?

      Like

    • 85
      His mother says:

      No he can’t.

      Like

      • 160
        Things that ruined English football! says:

        …..”Windrush”, immigration, foreign players, the premier league, money and bullshit”!!!!!!!!!!!!

        Like

    • 162
      inge lund says:

      like the football team – no he can’t

      Like

    • 172
      Anonymous says:

      Quite right, Dave’s met the England team on a number of occasions since Brown fucked off ! It’s the Curse of Dave, no two ways about it.

      So weak Guido…

      Like

    • 179
      The Growler says:

      No he can’t. That photo was taken a long time ago, Jonah’s power is waning

      Like

  2. 2
    Craig O says:

    Who is this Sue Arez woman? A bigot?

    Like

    • 5

      The African chappie ( is it Zuma ??) says :

      Three Lions on your blazer ?

      I ve got three Lions up my Arse . I smuggled them
      in with the diplomatic bag containing 15 homegrown terrorists.

      Like

      • 169
        Jack Ketch says:

        Jacob “Machine-Gun” Zuma is to sexual continence what Gordon brown is to financial prudence.

        Like

  3. 4
    Miliband's England - dumped out in first round, first time since 1958 says:

    Like

    • 12
      thus spake zarathustra says:

      Most northern thickos will keep up the tradition for voting for a donkey with a red rosette attached to it’s arse by voting for Mr Ed.

      Like

      • 16
        Dick Scratcher says:

        Stick your owl up your Baltic arse. Twat.

        Like

        • 23
          thus spake zarathustra says:

          I rest my case.

          Like

          • The Growler says:

            Why is it heavy, watch out the Customs are looking for people carrying very heavy cases. Just don’t leave your case unattended in London, keep your eye on it all times, there a load of thieving ratbags there and that doesn’t include the immigrant lot

            Like

      • 48
        EeeYepBlowing Whistles says:

        MOST NORTHERN THICKO’S – HAVE NOT GOT A CLUE ABOUT WHAT LABOUR zI.O N.ISM IS ALL ABOUT – they’re too thick and bone idle to even bother researching the subject as are so many deluded Tories.

        Like

      • 144
        Newark says:

        Boy, I’m sure glad there’s no thicko Tory voters mindlessly voting for anything in a blue rosette.

        Like

    • 31
      Stiff upper lip says:

      Not out yet.
      It’s likely, but not yet.

      Like

    • 173
      Anonymous says:

      Looks like Milband has been smoking something earlier !

      Like

  4. 6
    Ed says:

    OWLS FOR EVERYONE

    Like

  5. 7
    Whatwen wong Woy? says:

    Better not talk about football Prime Minister.

    Like

  6. 8
    northern jock says:

    You’ve got to give Jonah some credit, the Scottish national team has sunk without trace.

    Like

  7. 9
    gringo's green to go is circular says:

    blue ras pb erry.
    puma lemon . Baker Robbins is leading us to royal Jag living via the ropey tree. who said knowledge was alive?

    even the scientists are now fed up with Tony Balir’s penis. There is no sign of life.

    Like

  8. 10
    Jimmy Hill says:

    Who is the idiot who gave that Suarez a work permit ?

    Like

  9. 11
    Sea Lions on a Shirt says:

    Ah, those were the days…. Gordon Brown actually showed up for work!

    Like

    • 14
      no more boom, just bust says:

      You don’t get trillions in debt by not working at it you know.

      Like

      • 183
        The Growler says:

        Don’t forget Gore was aided and abetted by the banksters, they told Gore they wanted no regulation, Gore removed regulations that were there for a purpose, Gore gets the blame, the banksters get away scot free so to speak

        Like

  10. 13
    Bumservative Partaaaay says:

    That Sturridge has let himself go a bit.

    Like

  11. 15
    Nigel Farage says:

    I’m off out to get a pack of Special Brew & 20 B&H – want anything?

    Like

  12. 17
    Anonymous says:

    It’s quite clear that if there were more muslims, asians, and women in the team then we would have won.

    Like

    • 117
      Hell Al's Bacon Butties is that Cosher says:

      Who let Greg Dyke on here

      Like

    • 185
      The Growler says:

      It’s only a game dear, 22 little men kicking a bag of wind up and down a field, with 3 little men trying to get them to stick to the rules

      Like

  13. 20
    UKIP Press Office says:

    Lord Leslie Nigel Fossyngton-Chesquire, Duke of Foppington, Shrewstit-on-Purn on the 2nd Suarez goal: “Well I say! Less than ideal old chap”

    Like

  14. 21
    the three donkeys says:

    Everybody and their granny wanted Harry to get the job so what do FA do ?

    Like

  15. 22
    Liverpool Victim Culture says:

    What do you call a Liverpudlian in a suit?

    Guilty.

    Like

    • 53
      EeeYepBlowing Whistles says:

      What do you call a Parliamentarian in Westminster?

      A fucking duplicitous self-serving TRAITOR.

      Like

      • 110
        I'll have the stereo says:

        I wonder how many Liverpudlians were in Suarez’s house tonight as he was banging the goals in against England?

        Like

  16. 24
    Nick Clegg says:

    For those watching Mock at the moment, here’s a great version of that tune: Dance along! http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FP0t6nrb5_w

    Like

  17. 25
    Enough of this continual bullshit says:

    The FA should be banned from putting forward a football team wearing England shirts until they are actually good enough to compete at an international level.

    Like

    • 37
      Anonymous says:

      Competition implies the chance of losing.

      Perhaps you’re just to chicken to take part.

      Like

      • 57
        Enough of this continual bullshit says:

        When they are good enough to enter a competition, I am all for them being allowed to enter it. At the moment, though, they are barely competing.

        Like

        • 92
          Give Radio 5 a call to moan about the ref, you twat. says:

          They were good enough to enter the competition

          Team Pld W D L GF GA GD Pts
          England 10 6 4 0 31 4 +27 22
          Ukraine 10 6 3 1 28 4 +24 21
          Montenegro 10 4 3 3 18 17 +1 15
          Poland 10 3 4 3 18 12 +6 13
          Moldova 10 3 2 5 12 17 −5 11
          San Marino 10 0 0 10 1 54 −53 0

          I don’t know what breed of Mick Fatty is but this is why they are not there.
          As for the Jocks, it’s unfair to denigrate a team that has Gordon supporting them from day 1.

          Team Pld W D L GF GA GD Pts
          Germany 10 9 1 0 36 10 +26 28
          Sweden 10 6 2 2 19 14 +5 20
          Austria 10 5 2 3 20 10 +10 17
          Irish Rep 10 4 2 4 16 17 −1 14
          Kazakhstn 10 1 2 7 6 21 −15 5
          Faroes 10 0 1 9 4 29 −25 1

          Team Pld W D L GF GA GD Pts
          Russia 10 7 1 2 20 5 +15 22
          Portugal 10 6 3 1 20 9 +11 21
          Israel 10 3 5 2 19 14 +5 14
          Azerbaijan 10 1 6 3 7 11 −4 9
          N Ireland 10 1 4 5 9 17 −8 7
          Luxembg 10 1 3 6 7 26 −19 6

          Like

          • JH26213-454635 says:

            Remind me who San Marino scored against. A non-professional team, for Christ’s sake.

            Like

          • Give Radio 5 a call to moan about the ref, you twat. says:

            “Whom”. And their goal was against Poland.
            England 5 San Marino 0
            San Marino 0 England 8

            Perhaps you’re thinking of the goal they scored against England in 1993
            (San Marino 1 England 7).

            That was 21 years ago, Grandad

            Like

    • 44
      Toby Belching-Felcher says:

      Could not agree more. England should be a franchised trademark. Those wet farts are not worthy.

      Like

  18. 26
    Owen Jones says:

    PM David Cameron joins US President Obama in call for air strikes on Uruguay…sorry…ISIS bases in Iraq.

    Like

  19. 27
    Lions Schmions says:

    I hope that the useless managerial team and every single member of the England team will pay back the money they have been paid for wearing a shirt they don’t deserve to put on. Utterly inadequate.

    Like

  20. 29
    Eric Pickles says:

    I used to hang out at the gym, however I wear longer shorts now.

    Like

    • 67
      a snowball in hell says:

      With an overhang like yours Eric I doubt you’ve seen your cock for years, let alone been in a gym.

      Like

  21. 30
    Gordno says:

    Good luck England. Sarah says they are not shit.

    Like

  22. 33
    Phwooar says:

    Say what you like about the bbc, but Laura Kuenssberg is gorgeous.

    Like

  23. 35
    Gerry Adams says:

    May I offer my sympathy. I was hoping Uruguay would put three past you b*stards.

    Tiochfaidh ar la.

    Like

    • 96
      Give Radio 5 a call to moan about the ref, you twat. says:

      BTW, did anyone notice the pathetic Jock in wig and tartan cheering along with the U-r-Gay fans?

      The small-nation syndrome made me smile. They are truly fucked if they decide to go it alone mereky toi say yah booh to th sassenachs.
      Have they sorted out a currency yet? They shan’t be allowed to print pound sterling notes surely (not that ours won’t be anyway)

      Like

      • 186
        10north says:

        Have no skin in the game so haven’t bothered researching it. If the vote goes Salmond’s way, isn’t the whole Act of Union up for renegotiation?

        Like

    • 112
      Everyone in the UK says:

      I’d prefer someone out three in you, you cùnt

      Like

  24. 42
    Ed Milibiscuit says:

    I am confused.

    Like

  25. 47
    Luciana Berger says:

    Chucky’s on NN now!

    Like

  26. 51
    Chukka Chuckie Egg says:

    Aren’t I handsome!

    I am the British Obama!

    Worship me!

    Like

  27. 54
    Was Gerrard supposed to pass to his scouse team mate? says:

    Will the Scousers say sorry now?

    Like

  28. 56
    Anonymous says:

    Chukusyumoney on Newsnight. What a patronising gobshite.

    Like

  29. 60
    A labour politician who will not spend? says:

    Like

    • 65
      Ed pledges to do Nowt says:

      Ed… Your Twat makes no sense

      You are not going to mend nor are you going to spend.

      Does this mean you’ll just put your feet up and do nothing?

      Like

    • 87
      Mrs. Ball-Scooper, TRIPLE FLIPPER says:

      The Labour government you lead is simply a figment of your imagination.

      Like

    • 97
      Give Radio 5 a call to moan about the ref, you twat. says:

      It’s “England”, not “Britain” you mong.

      And international teams can’t buy players anyway (unless they’re Gulf states)

      Like

    • 136
      Ron Weasley says:

      Jeez can’t this Milliband make his mind up. Yesterday everyone had to have owls today everyone has to have reforms. It reminds you of that dopey owl Pigwidgeon in Harry potter that can’t ever deliver Ron’s message correctly without colliding with something or flying into a window.

      Like

  30. 62
    EeeYepBlowing Whistles says:

    ‘DEMENTIA’ – what about all them other hacks who suck ruperts cock like louise De Mentia … Chickens coming home to roost like turkeys (Hacks across the msm) who would vote for Christmas if Rupe asked them to.

    Like

  31. 64

    Vote UKIP :-D

    Like

  32. 68
    average joe says:

    we needed ed balls at the back that was our problem

    Like

  33. 69
    Killer Queen says:

    Good to see Freddy Mercury make a comeback. Two goals as well.

    Like

  34. 70
    MayfairMagFan says:

    Now I’m scared that I might ever have been within 100 miles of him…. Gordon that is.

    (I wouldn’t know who either of the either of the other tossers in badly fitted suits were if they were carrying sandwich boards saying ‘MY NAME IS….’)

    Although as Gord’s barely in the UK, and I’m hardly outside it these days, that’s increasingly unlikely.

    Like

  35. 72
    Blood soaked says:

    Since leaving office, Tony Blair has amassed $70m in blood money. With a million Iraqis dead, hundreds of thousands homeless or in living poverty, and the entire country now collapsing, Blair has shamelessly lined his pockets with blood money.

    With this in mind, I remember his last day in the Commons when he was given a standing ovation (including Cameron who shamefully beckoned to his MPs to also stand) but worse than that I remember the pathetic whooping from the female Labour MPs. It really is fascinating the way these very same MPs who worshipped Blair are now trying to erase him from Labour’s history. The fact is that Blair is completely toxic and every time he rears his head he serves as a reminder of Labour’s grubby and criminal record.

    This is archetypal cognitive dissonance. These whooping idiots worshipped Blair because he delivered them election success and in doing so they voted for every despicable policy including the invasion of Iraq. And now, true to form, these same screeching fuckwits want the public to experience amnesia and forget about the former Labour leader who now strides around the world like the filthy gangster he is. That, among other reasons, is why I have zero respect for these Labour MPs. One can have political differences but still respect the individual. But these grotty arseholes and political whores don’t deserve any respect, because they sold out whatever principles they may have had for power. The shining example of this is the oxygen thief Harriet Harman. Is there a more grotesque creature in British politics than her? She has absolutely no principles whatsoever. Her entire life and career has been defined by rank opportunism and self serving arrogance. The woman who fled a crash by yelling “you know where to find me”, the woman who campaigned alongside p*edophiles, the woman who championed the invasion of Iraq and then shamelessly applauded when Ed Miliband said at conference the war was wrong. She is morally bankrupt, not to mention intellectually deficient.

    Like

  36. 73
    Chuka admits most Londoners are “latte-drinking luvvies" says:

    Like

  37. 76
    Blood soaked says:

    Since leaving office, Tony Blair has amassed $70m in blood money. With a million Iraqis dead, hundreds of thousands homeless or in living poverty, and the entire country now collapsing, Blair has shamelessly lined his pockets with blood money.

    With this in mind, I remember his last day in the Commons when he was given a standing ovation (including Cameron who shamefully beckoned to his MPs to also stand) but worse than that I remember the pathetic whooping from the female Labour MPs. It really is fascinating the way these very same MPs who worshipped Blair are now trying to erase him from Labour’s history. The fact is that Blair is completely toxic and every time he rears his head he serves as a reminder of Labour’s grubby and criminal record.

    This is archetypal cognitive dissonance. These whooping idiots worshipped Blair because he delivered them election success and in doing so they voted for every despicable policy including the invasion of Iraq. And now, true to form, these same screeching fuckwits want the public to experience amnesia and forget about the former Labour leader who now strides around the world like the filthy gangster he is. That, among other reasons, is why I have zero respect for these Labour MPs. One can have political differences but still respect the individual. But these grotty arseholes and political whores don’t deserve any respect, because they sold out whatever principles they may have had for power. The shining example of this is the oxygen thief Harriet Harman. Is there a more grotesque creature in British politics than her? She has absolutely no principles whatsoever. Her entire life and career has been defined by rank opportunism and self serving arrogance. The woman who fled a crash by yelling “you know where to find me”, the woman who campaigned alongside p*edophiles, the woman who championed the invasion of Iraq and then shamelessly applauded when Ed Miliband said at conference the war was wrong. She is morally repugnant, not to mention intellectually deficient.

    Like

    • 77
      Jezza says:

      +1 million

      Like

    • 104
      Harriet Harmmenandwomen says:

      Also defined her career on “feminism” meaning “Give rich well-connected women, ie me, and my son and husband more power”, yet bottled out of running for Labour leader twice, leaving the useless hapless Abbott to be the token cannon-fodder

      Like

    • 131
      Ann, the poverty stricken accounts clerk says:

      I was about to congratulate you on typing all that without using a swear word – and then I read it again and noticed you used the ‘f’ word.

      Better luck next time.

      PS: A good rant with I enjoyed. More please.

      Like

    • 138
      Roomy is shit says:

      For the bitch Harman to stand for leader she would have had to have resigned as deputy leader. As you say opportunistic and she was never gonna lose her ivory tower.

      Like

  38. 78
    Patriot says:

    England were just not trying hard enough. Where was the passion? Where was the effort? They had none of the committment that Chile showed when they took on Spain. I am fed up with pampered twats being allowed to go through the motions while wearing England shirts.

    Like

  39. 80
  40. 82
    average joe says:

    i’m h a p p y
    i am h a p p y
    sob
    i know i am i’m sure i am i’m h a p p p y

    Like

  41. 83
    That stupid Rabbatts woman says:

    We’re boycotting Russia and Qatar because they’re homophobes.

    Like

    • 113
      SIZE 15 CARBON FOOTPRINT says:

      I have met several Russians and not one of them has expressed a fear of sexual perverts !!

      Like

  42. 86
  43. 90
    Chucky gets Kuenssberg'd says:

    Chucky looked very uncomfortale during his Newsnight interview. Credit to Laura K for being relentless in her questioning, which he clearly wasn’t used to. She even ridiculed him right at the end and his stony face was priceless.

    Day by day, Chucky’s vapid nature and slimy narcissism is being exposed. His is a cautionary tale of believing your own hype and being desperate for fame. All his fumbles, from his lies to his hypocrisy over betting shops to being exposed as editing his own Wiki profile, his fantasy of one day becoming prime minister has crumbled before it ever got going. The secret to that sort of ambition is not to be so obvious about it, but Chucky, being a self-aggrandising moron, couldn’t help himself. All his interviews just showed a slimy man desperate for the top job without having achieved anything of note in his life.

    Even now he probably still believes becoming prime minister is in his future. Everyone else knows it’s not. The image he tried so hard to cultivate has been stripped and he’s been exposed as a fraud in love with himself. The tough treatment he got from Laura K may have sent a message to him that he’s been found out. Poor Chucky. You have to laugh.

    Like

  44. 91
    Warmonger John McTernan says:

    Brillo, Portaloo and Fatbott are giving me a kicking.

    Like

    • 98
      Farley Charley says:

      My misses who doesn’t know who the hell he is , called him a disgusting nasty piece of work, hasn’t Bliar done enough damage.

      Like

  45. 93
    Ginger Rodent says:

    Like

    • 115
      Qualifying Group A says:

      Team Pld W D L GF GA GD Pts
      Belgium 10 8 2 0 18 4 +14 26
      Croatia 10 5 2 3 12 9 +3 17
      Serbia 10 4 2 4 18 11 +7 14
      Scotland 10 3 2 5 8 12 −4 11
      Wales 10 3 1 6 9 20 −11 10
      Macedonia 10 2 1 7 7 16 −9 7

      Like

      • 140
        Roomy is shit says:

        They have always done it. When I was in Aberdeen boozer years ago and Germany played England the locals all turned up in German shirts and Cheetos for the Germans. Pathetic small minded and yet another World Cup that Scotlandland never got on a plane

        Like

  46. 94

    Local Election Results – 19/06/2014:

    Southam (Stratford-on-Avon) result: 
    CON  : 42.9% (+ 2.0)
    LAB  : 34.6% (+11.7)
    UKIP : 22.5% (- 7.0)
    
    - CON HOLD.
    
    (Soham South turnout: 20.4%)
    
    Soham South (E-Cambs) result: 
    CON : 34.4% (+ 6.5)
    UKIP: 19.1% (+19.1)
    LDEM: 18.1% (+ 3.2)
    LAB : 6.7%  (- 5.8)
    --------------------
    IND : 14.0% (+14.0)
    IND : 7.6%  (+ 7.6)
    
    - CON HOLD.
    
    

    h/t @britainelects

    Like

  47. 95
    Benny Fitz-Clements says:

    Like

    • 139
      Roomy is shit says:

      Good one. Would have been better had the picture been taken in the UK unless its Poland in which case its just perfect.

      Like

  48. 100
    Mad, Bad & Dangerous Gordon McRuin ( Member in absentia ) says:

    Like

  49. 101
  50. 102
    Labour HQ says:

    Three lions for everyone

    Like

  51. 105
    David Axlegrease says:

    FROM THE FRYING PAN INTO THE FIRE……………

    Like

  52. 106
    'Gypsy' Dave Cooper says:

    Beat me to it!

    Like

  53. 108
    Gordon Robot says:

    It’s coming home! It’s coming home! .. England’s coming home!

    Like

  54. 111
    Maimed Codger says:

    England Football Team…. over paid Looses…

    Like

  55. 118
    Uncle Owlbert says:

    That Miliband reminds me of a bloke i knew in Korea. His own men threw grenades at him.

    Like

  56. 120

    As I have repeatedly pointed out. English football teams, of any code, only win World Cups under Labour. If you want the England rugby team to avoid similar humiliation next year, you know what to do.

    Like

  57. 122

    “We have some fantastic places to visit and holiday not that far from here. I think there’s a lot to be said for the ‘staycation’…..

    “I think we are going to have a great summer, we are certainly going to have a great summer of sport, too, there’s lots of opportunities to build your holiday around a spoilt-for-choice list of events, the Tour de France Grand Départ, we’ve got the golf, we’ve got the Commonwealth Games, we’ve got football that we can watch on the TV.

    “It’s a wonderful place to have your holiday,”

    [helen grant mp weighs in on the passport backlog. from brazil]

    Like

    • 141
      Roomy is shit says:

      Simple solution for theses sangria riddled costa del sol fuckwits is to apply earlier or just get a passport anyway not just for a holiday.

      Like

  58. 124
    Genghiz the kahn says:

    You’re the one who flicked the ball on to your team mate Luis?

    Like

  59. 126

    I Wasn’t Born To Follow as performed by the Byrds in Easy Rider

    Gerry Goffin – (11-02-1939 – 19-06-2014)

    Like

  60. 143
    Where is my fucking owl says:

    If Adolf Hitler was Prime Minister he would have blown a fuse by now.

    Not a wimper out of call me Dave.

    Like

  61. 145
    Mike Bassett says:

    We’re coming home. We’re coming home. England’s coming home.

    Like

  62. 147
    albacore says:

    Might not Brown’s awesome power to curse be over-rated?
    The whole Parliamentary shower has Britain fated
    To founder beneath a tidal wave of immigration
    So, though sterling his work, has he earned that reputation?

    Like

  63. 149
    Peter Tapsell says:

    Bloody owls… coming over here and stealing our mice!

    Like

  64. 150
    Oops says:

    the team will have a new Captain next week.
    An experienced pilot, he’ll get them home safely.

    Like

  65. 154
    Long John Silver' s parrot says:

    I am very annoyed this morning by the arrogant and condescending tone of that Grant Minister.

    According to her if you haven’t got your passport renewed you should be considering a “staycation” says she from sunny Brazil.

    She just does not get it. She is in a well paid (and perked) position of trust and responsibility.

    Governments are not supposed to be gravy trains .

    I hope she gets sacked today for the good of the Nation.

    Like

    • 159
      non taxable pikey says:

      Saw this just now:

      The government will wish to recruit more staff to clear the backlog of passport applications.
      Should you wish to apply for a post with a government agency you will need to bring to your interview evidence that you are entitled to work in the EU.
      Acceptable forms of identity are
      1. A current UK passport…

      Like

      • 177
        Nose-Rubber says:

        Fortunately all EU immigrants seeking to apply will already have a passport.

        The illegals who destroyed theirs will not be so lucky, but they’re not required on the black market.

        Like

  66. 155
    Ed Miliband says:

    I offer my condolences to the England team and their manager Roy of the Rovers. But the goal by Wayne Clooney was sensational and we should all be proud of him, Steven Coulthard and the rest of the team.

    Like

  67. 156
    Mad, Bad & Dangerous Gordon McRuin ( Member in absentia ) says:

    Hello. You can call me Brown Owl.

    Like

    • 157
      Ed Balls - Shallow Chancer says:

      Hi boss. I’ve calculated that the cost of giving everyone an owl will exceed
      £ 5,000,000,000.

      The costs will be covered by the amount we raise from the tax on bankers’ bonuses we will introduce in 2015.

      Like

      • 161
        Blue Peter Goldfish says:

        The cost of owls can go down as well as up and at the same time.

        Like

      • 178
        Owen's Remedial Economics teacher says:

        As 65 million owls need to be purchased, demand will outstrip supply and the prices will rise.

        Same with houses.

        The opposite applies when you dump your gold reserves on the market.

        Like

  68. 166
    Horny theologist says:

    Has Vacant Ned’s personal stalking pigeon been ousted by an owl ?
    We should be told.

    Like


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What Happens Now | James Kirkup
Cairo of the North | Quentin Letts
Labour are the Biggest Losers | Phil Collins
Westminster Will Never Allow Referendum Again | Daily Mash
Yes Scotland’s Geo-Targeting Advertising Fail | MessageSpace
#IndyRef Twitter Map | Trendsmap


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The Prime Minister feels the pressure:

“I have to say that after the events I have been facing over the last few days, assassination would be a welcome release.”



It was only a tiny tiny collision.


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