June 19th, 2014

Joined Up Policy Thinking From Labour

Labour’s policy announcement this morning has been lost in the parliament of owls, but something is still bugging Guido. Why are the party promising to create a new Youth Allowance for unemployed young people? They don’t need one because they’ve already promised a Jobs Guarantee for every unemployed young person.

This jobs guarantee is compulsory.

It’s even called the Compulsory Jobs Guarantee.

Today’s policy is about benefit sanctions for those young people out of work, but why do they need that when they’ve already promised to guarantee everyone a job?


  1. 1
    Uncle Mac says:

    Sshh. Don’t interrupt the enemy when he’s making a mistake.

  2. 2
    ahmonika says:

    Never mind that see this.

    Iraq crisis: Isis jihadists ‘seize Saddam Hussein’s chemical weapons stockpile’ – live ( Telegraph )

  3. 3
    Genghiz the kahn says:

    I wonder if the effing owl up was deliberate to undermine the dear leader’s standing. It has been the 3rd most viewed story on BBC.

    Blaming hackers rather than disgruntled Party Workers…

  4. 4
    promises says:

    If they promise me ten seconds in the sack with maria eagle and harriet harmen then ill promise ill be labour for ever

  5. 5
    Father Jack says:

    Let’s hope they don’t find Saddam’s WMD.

  6. 6


    It is a double lock.

    Everyone knows that political guarantees are worthless so they guarantee the guarantee. The Wise Owl Policy…

  7. 7
    pookie snackumberger says:

    Well it keeps UKIP out of the news, and as far as the Meja are concerned that is a good thing.

  8. 8
    David says:

    I quite like the owl policy though.

  9. 9
    Genghiz the kahn says:

    Bloody Eagle Owls, coming her stealing our rabbits, predating our buzzards, and eating our chicks.

  10. 10
    Tom Catesby says:

    Guido, you know and I know this is milliband shit. How can he guarantee work to these kids? unless he’s going to get more labour MPs to employ them on zero hours contracts. It will be a paper exercise to ‘reduce’ the number of youth unemployed from the figures.

  11. 11
    all the world explained (p 893b) says:

    its like the great ‘happy sheet’ nonsense of modern times

    if gov’t can say that (eg) ‘the young’ confirm they are on a training course then perhaps a few gullible electors will vote for them

    substance = NIL

    cost = quite a lot

  12. 12
    pookie snackumberger says:

    Do owls eat those disgusting cockroaches?

  13. 13
    ISIS(Bradford Battalion) says:

    ‘Weapons of mas destruction’. Tony.B. £iar, aint seen nothing yet. Allahu Ahkbar!

  14. 14
    ISIS(Bradford Battalion) says:

    Die infidel!

  15. 15
    Another Labour success says:

    Cases of liver cancer have soared by up to 70 per cent in a decade, fuelled by poor diet, obesity and binge drinking B£iar’s cafe culture.

  16. 16
    YouThaidItCouln'tGetAnyWorth says:

    Ed was right to make the compulsory jobs guarantee and then replace it with the compulsory training guarantee. He was right to apologise for both. he was right to promise everyone an owl and he was right to apologise or doing so.

    Hope that clears things up.

  17. 17
    Not in my name says:

    Another unforced error. (Revealing that you and your party really, really have absolutely no idea what they are doing)

  18. 18
    Tim Yeo-Yo says:

    Hopefully they’re testing the shell casing with a hammer test.

    Even if I was an ISIS loon I wouldn’t want to go anywhere near that store. I expect most of the stuff stored there is over 30 years old so is probably in sh!t state.

  19. 19
    Anonymous says:

    Its simple, the jobs guarantee is yet more electoral bribery that wont happen if by some awful chance they get in.

    This is a fall back position and designed to make them sound more sensible.

    For years it was always the Liberals who could promise what they liked safe in the knowledge they would never have to bother with the tiresome bit of actually implementing it. Went a bit wrong with the coalition and university fees, oops. Still never mind eh Cleggy.

    But I too like David, look forward to getting my owl, about the most sensible policy they have proposed…

  20. 20
    Genghiz the kahn says:
  21. 21
    jgm2 says:

    Fucking amazing. The US is country for over a decade with informants all over the place and can find no trace. These ISIS fuckers are on site for less than 48 hours and have discovered a heap of chemical weapons?

    Pull the other one.

  22. 22
    Map says:

    Oi Ahmed, Wales is that way >>>>>>>>

  23. 23
    Only Hools and Forces says:

    Infidel, infidel, they’ve got it infidel.

  24. 24
    jgm2 says:

    The whole country has contracted Glasgow’s disease.

    When you’re living in a fucking shithole, presided over by arsehole politicians who treat you as fucking idiots then you’ll start to act like idiots. As in Glasgow so, after 13 years of Labour idiocy, the wider UK.

    Working class white kids doing worse than bl*ck and Asian working class kids in school is all part of the same malaise.

    Labour destroyed the UK. They have rotted the soul of millions of their own voters by importing third-worlders to take their jobs, their homes and their communities. The white working class is committing suicide as a result of depression caused by the gum-bleed inducing fuckwittery of the Blair-Brown years.

  25. 25
    Anonymous says:

    until its in their manifesto its not a policy.

    yesterday they were calling for ofgem to be abolished and a price freeze
    now they are calling for ofgem to have powers to force companies to drop prices

    anyway – what’s the point in creating a policy that saves no money?

    ed instead of coming out with carp like this just say no benefits

  26. 26
    Tim Yeo-Yo says:

    Maybe they can send Ed Millitwat to do the “sniff test” on them!

  27. 27
    Trigger says:

    Nice one Dave.

  28. 28
    Overton says:

    Exactly. Fool us once, shame on you; fool us twice….

    Does whomever is putting this bollox out to the press to report seriously expect the public to fall for it?

    The quality of war-mongering really seems to have declined of late. Or have the population thankfully become wise to it (e.g with Syr’ia) ?

  29. 29
    jgm2 says:

    It doesn’t matter if it is in their manifesto. Labour manifesto pledges are not subject to legitimate expectation. The Maximum Imbecile went to court to prove that his own manifesto wasn’t worth the paper it was printed on.

    Standing on the top of the courthouse steps, pleased as Punch with himself, like OJ Fucking Simpson trying to kid on he’d won a great victory.

    Fucking jackass. The only person ever to go to court to prove that his word couldn’t be trusted.

  30. 30
    Imogen Spart (campaigner for fairness and social justice) says:

    Join the campaign for a Social Justice Guarantee, to ensure social justice for all, not just the few:


  31. 31

    Now you re being rational and logical Guido .

    And in politics that s not allowed .

  32. 32
    Anonymous says:

    “Young jobless must train or lose benefits”.

    Quickly read the headline and said to self: Always attacking the unemployed – bloody Tories! Only later did I find the out the sad and shameful truth. And yet, far from telling the Daily Mail, Mandelson, and right-wing blogs sites that he does not give a flying duck, ‘Miliband decides that – by kicking the job-seekers when they are down – he will be seen to be a ‘strong’ leader. Given ‘Red Ed’ is not as keen on attacking bankers bonuses or big business tax avoidance, is it any wonder people say that Labour and Tory are two cheeks of the same (free-market) @rse?

  33. 33
    Anonymous says:

    Shades of Carry On – what was the film?

  34. 34
    Alex Salmon says:

    “carp like this …” ? Thought it was a bit of surströmming.

  35. 35

    COMPULSORY JOBS GUARANTEE!!!!!! who is going to do the compelling ,who is going to be compelled to do the employing ,who is going to be compelled to take the compulsory jobs , and where are the compulsory jobs coming from ?

  36. 36
    Job Centre Spokes-Owl says:

    They can all have jobs as owl-sitters.

  37. 37
    Llareggub says:

    If I were a conspiracy theorist, I might be tempted to ask whether the hacker in question works in Conservative Party HQ ….

  38. 38
    Llareggub says:

    Christ, do you really hate yourself that much? Why don’t you just jump off a tall building? It’ll be quicker and less painful, and you won’t have to live with the trauma.

  39. 39
    Llareggub says:

    Me too. I’ve heard they taste good.

  40. 40
    Jeremy Taxman says:

    (1) Coalition v shadow cabinet: whose constituencies are worse hit by unemployment? (The Guardian Wednesday 16 March 2011): “New research shows Labour MPs harder hit than Coalition members when it comes to unemployment in their constituencies.”

    (2) Unemployment benefit map shows party political divide (The Guardian, Thursday 26 January 2012): “Twelve of the 15 seats with highest percentage of claimants are held by Labour, while lowest claimant areas are mostly Tory or Lib Dem seats”

    (3)Hard-working families forced to pay extra £528 extra on council tax bills to cover £2.4BILLION debt left by people who refuse to pay (Daily Mail, 12 January 2014): “Nine out of the 10 worst councils for collecting council tax are Labour-run”.

    Youtube Search: “BBC Documentary – Don’t Cap My Benefits!”.

    Youtube Search: “The 1987 Party Political Broadcast by the Conservative party “.

    Youtube Search: “Conservative | Party Political Broadcast | BBC1 31/03/1982″.

    Youtube Search: “Party Political Broadcast By The Conservatives 30th Apr 1985″.

  41. 41
    The Critic says:

    Yes, previously called the New Deal/Flexible New Deal. a workfare programme,which will have the same issues as the previous iterations:

    It has the power to withdraw benefits from those who ‘refused’ to meet certain criteria deemed reasonable and the criteria will be vague.

    No government can compel an employer to hire people or create jobs when none exist, so what will the ‘training’ achieve? Where are the jobs being guaranteed?

    The New Deal cost 1.3 billion a year – Milliband says this scheme will be self financing. So he’s going to fund 57 quid a week’s worth of training,which no-one will attend as they will be down the foodbank avoiding starvation.

    You really cannot polish a turd.

  42. 42
    Sandalista says:

    And the NHS would not be lumbered with the cost of years of therapy.

  43. 43
  44. 44

    joined up with crayons more like

  45. 45
    S. Flanders (ex b**ch of BBC, Miliband, & Balls. Now married to JP Morgan Chase. says:


    Ed Miliband trying to be like Iain Duncan Smith, while being a string puppet to union barons that gifted him the Labour Leadership over his brother. I’m so glad I dumped him during my time at Oxford. Weird then, weird now.

  46. 46
    Meanwhile in a reality Far, Far away.. says:

    If you have the audacity and wherewithal to save up and do a training course that lasts a week while you’re Unemployed (but still be able to ‘look for work’ on the evenings, w/e’s, etc) they’ll still stop your benefits for that period of time. Is this constructive?

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Boris on British Jihadis. Apparently based on MI5 intel:

“If you look at all the psychological profiling about bombers, they typically will look at porn. They are literally w***ers. Severe onanists. They are tortured. They will be very badly adjusted in their relations with women, and that is a symptom of their feeling of being failures and that the world is against them. They are not making it with girls, and so they turn to other forms of spiritual comfort — which of course is no comfort.”

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