SKETCH: Passport Crisis Inconveniences

Poor old Mr Pugh of the Passport Office (£104,000pa), he got dressed down to his underwear by Keith Vaz who wanted him to apologise and mean it. Vaz is always inviting officials to “say sorry” and the only pleasure is in seeing the words stick in their collective bureaucratic craw. Perhaps it’s a childhood sense of honour on their part because sorry they’re not.

“We understand the anger. We sympathise with it. We fully recognise the impact when we fail to provide what the public wants. Where we have failed to meet our service standards, that is obviously not the best use of resources.” On they go.

But Vaz has 14 different ways of telling them to apologise and the easiest approach is to get it over with: “I am extremely sorry, and I offer my personal apology to anyone who’s been inconvenienced/bereaved/beheaded by Islamists/embarrassed in front of their neighbours as a consequence of my organisation’s performance.”

What does that cost? It’s not an admission of liability, it’s an apology.

Back to poor old Mr Pugh who seems to have been there in the office personally processing applications 18 hours a day. But even he failed to answer the emergency hot line when Mr Vaz rang it. Keith Vaz had to ring the Home Secretary herself to get his constituent’s passport issued. Vaz, personally, you understand.


The PM has said there is a backlog of 30,000 passports waiting to be processed. But Mr Pugh doesn’t have a backlog, he has “work in progress”. Mr Pugh’s work in progress numbers 480,000. There may be something there for Edward the Unready tomorrow at PMQs.

Whence this crisis? They closed down all the overseas passport offices and that’s meant an extra 400,000 applications dealt with in the UK.

Without that extra load, delays would just be a periodic inconvenience.

Mind you, they did give the Treasury £70m last year as a result of Mr Pugh’s prudence, thrift and/or penny-pinching.

It would be worth the best part of a billion, if floated. And then who’d be apologising to whom?



Tip offs: 0709 284 0531
team@Order-order.com

GuidoFawkes Quote of the Day

Miliband is asked if he knows what ‘Yolo’ means by Time Out:

EM“No. What does it mean?

TO: “It stands for You Only Live Once.”

EM: “Is that right? That is a good philosophy for politics! It’s about a sense of adventure and doing what you want. Wow! I’ll use it from now on!”

TO: “Please don’t.”

Top Posts This Week

Guidogram: Sign up

Subscribe to the most succinct 7 days a week daily email read by thousands of Westminster insiders.

Facebook

UKIP STORE BORKED UKIP STORE BORKED
Paddy Ashdown Says “Bastards” 7 Times in 4 Minutes on BBC News Paddy Ashdown Says “Bastards” 7 Times in 4 Minutes on BBC News
BEER DRINKERS LOVE FRACKING BEER DRINKERS LOVE FRACKING
Man With Plane Trolls Owen Jones From Sky Man With Plane Trolls Owen Jones From Sky
Sick ‘Childhood Sexuality’ Shame of Natalie Bennett’s Boyfriend Sick ‘Childhood Sexuality’ Shame of Natalie Bennett’s Boyfriend
BUILD YOUR OWN STAR WARS BB-8 BALL DROID BUILD YOUR OWN STAR WARS BB-8 BALL DROID

TWITTER’S IRISH DATA DODGE TWITTER’S IRISH DATA DODGE
TELEGRAPH IN SUPER SPIDER ECO-GARBAGE SHAME TELEGRAPH IN SUPER SPIDER ECO-GARBAGE SHAME
GOVERNMENT’S ‘TECH CITY’ CAN’T EVEN BRIBE SKILLED WORKERS WITH VISAS GOVERNMENT’S ‘TECH CITY’ CAN’T EVEN BRIBE SKILLED WORKERS WITH VISAS
Saudi Soldier Demands to Know Why BBC Sacked Clarkson Saudi Soldier Demands to Know Why BBC Sacked Clarkson
Labour’s Unpaid Intern Hypocrisy Labour’s Unpaid Intern Hypocrisy
WATCH: Ian Hislop v Prezza WATCH: Ian Hislop v Prezza
“Grip Me, Whip Me!” Musical Election Special “Grip Me, Whip Me!” Musical Election Special
LEAKED EMAILS: SONY BOSS PLOTTED TO GET ED VAIZEY FIRED LEAKED EMAILS: SONY BOSS PLOTTED TO GET ED VAIZEY FIRED
Bennett Backs Geo-Political Ghettoisation of Israel Bennett Backs Geo-Political Ghettoisation of Israel
US GOVERNMENT ASKED LYNTON TO SPIN FOR OBAMA US GOVERNMENT ASKED LYNTON TO SPIN FOR OBAMA
LEAKED GOPRO FOOTAGE OF SPACEX ROCKET CRASH LANDING LEAKED GOPRO FOOTAGE OF SPACEX ROCKET CRASH LANDING
NEW STAR WARS TRAILER NEW STAR WARS TRAILER
A PPB From the ‘Cannabis is Safter Than Alcohol’ Party A PPB From the ‘Cannabis is Safter Than Alcohol’ Party