Tory Wars: Long Term Inter-Galactic Plan

It is a period of civil war. Rebel spaceships, striking from a Home Office base, have won their first victory against the evil Govian Empire.

During the battle, Rebel SpAds managed to leak secret plans to the Empire’s ultimate weapon, the PREVENT STRATEGY, an armored space station with enough power to drain an entire swamp.

Pursued by the Empire’s sinister special advisers, Princess Maya races home aboard her starship, custodian of the stolen letter that can save her people and restore freedom…

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Growth will be back, and in greater numbers too. George Osborne has announced that a new Star Wars film will be made in the UK, or as he calls it “a long term economic plan in a galaxy far far away”. Sajid Javid is more of a Trekkie but adds “the force is strong in this one”. Now the Chancellor just needs to strike down May and Boris and he will become more powerful than he can possibly imagine. Help me OBR, you’re my only hope…




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Quote of the Day

George Osborne paraphrases Boris, telling the FT:

“If the ball came loose at the back of the scrum, I wouldn’t fumble it”

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