Tory Wars: Long Term Inter-Galactic Plan

It is a period of civil war. Rebel spaceships, striking from a Home Office base, have won their first victory against the evil Govian Empire.

During the battle, Rebel SpAds managed to leak secret plans to the Empire’s ultimate weapon, the PREVENT STRATEGY, an armored space station with enough power to drain an entire swamp.

Pursued by the Empire’s sinister special advisers, Princess Maya races home aboard her starship, custodian of the stolen letter that can save her people and restore freedom…

20140611-083028-30628546.jpg

Growth will be back, and in greater numbers too. George Osborne has announced that a new Star Wars film will be made in the UK, or as he calls it “a long term economic plan in a galaxy far far away”. Sajid Javid is more of a Trekkie but adds “the force is strong in this one”. Now the Chancellor just needs to strike down May and Boris and he will become more powerful than he can possibly imagine. Help me OBR, you’re my only hope…



Tip offs: 0709 284 0531
team@Order-order.com

Quote of the Day

Tim Farron is asked by GQ how he will be remembered:

“I won’t be. So there’s no point in worrying about how you’d like to be remembered at all.”

Top Posts This Week

Guidogram: Sign up

Subscribe to the most succinct 7 days a week daily email read by thousands of Westminster insiders.

Facebook

EU CABINET GUIDE: WHITTO MOVES UP, GOVE TORN EU CABINET GUIDE: WHITTO MOVES UP, GOVE TORN
PROTESTER CHUCKS DILDO AT MINISTER PROTESTER CHUCKS DILDO AT MINISTER
LEAVE 9 POINTS AHEAD SINCE DAVE’S DEAL LEAVE 9 POINTS AHEAD SINCE DAVE’S DEAL
VENEZUELA FORCED TO FLY IN PLANELOADS OF CASH VENEZUELA FORCED TO FLY IN PLANELOADS OF CASH
SILLY SAUSAGE: TORY MP’S COMMONS DOUBLE ENTENDRE SILLY SAUSAGE: TORY MP’S COMMONS DOUBLE ENTENDRE
SRAELI EX-AMBASSADOR ‘LATE NIGHT VISITS’ SCANDAL BREWING SRAELI EX-AMBASSADOR ‘LATE NIGHT VISITS’ SCANDAL BREWING
UKIP WARNS OF RISK OF TURKEY JOINING EU UKIP WARNS OF RISK OF TURKEY JOINING EU
HIGHEST-EARNING MP DIDN’T NOTICE £400,000 INCOME HIGHEST-EARNING MP DIDN’T NOTICE £400,000 INCOME
BORIS’ NEW BALDNESS-BATTLING BARNET BORIS’ NEW BALDNESS-BATTLING BARNET
GUIDO’S FASHION TIPS: GET THE GRASSROOTS OUT UNIFORM GUIDO’S FASHION TIPS: GET THE GRASSROOTS OUT UNIFORM
BORIS AND FARAGE PAN DAVE’S RED CARD BORIS AND FARAGE PAN DAVE’S RED CARD
WHEN CAMERON AND OSBORNE LAUGHED AT A ‘RED CARD’ WHEN CAMERON AND OSBORNE LAUGHED AT A ‘RED CARD’
SADIQ DUCKS CITY AIRPORT ROW SADIQ DUCKS CITY AIRPORT ROW
DIRE POST-DEAL PAPERS FOR PM DIRE POST-DEAL PAPERS FOR PM
FABBERS’ VOMIT-INDUCING EUROPHILES REVEALED FABBERS’ VOMIT-INDUCING EUROPHILES REVEALED
UNION BARON: “ALL THE TORIES ARE AN ABSOLUTE DISGRACE, THEY SHOULD BE TAKEN OUT AND SHOT” UNION BARON: “ALL THE TORIES ARE AN ABSOLUTE DISGRACE, THEY SHOULD BE TAKEN OUT AND SHOT”
STELLA THE ‘HASH SMOKING MOROCCAN TOURIST’ STELLA THE ‘HASH SMOKING MOROCCAN TOURIST’
CORBYN BROTHER’S BIZARRE RESPONSE TO DEATH OF MAN AND 4 YEAR OLD SON: “LOL” CORBYN BROTHER’S BIZARRE RESPONSE TO DEATH OF MAN AND 4 YEAR OLD SON: “LOL”
BORIS: DAVE’S DEAL NOT GOOD ENOUGH BORIS: DAVE’S DEAL NOT GOOD ENOUGH
9 SPECIFIC DEMANDS DAVE WANTED FROM BRUSSELS 9 SPECIFIC DEMANDS DAVE WANTED FROM BRUSSELS
CRUZ TRUMPS THE DONALD IN IOWA CRUZ TRUMPS THE DONALD IN IOWA
Crowdfunding “Brexit the Movie” Crowdfunding “Brexit the Movie”
CORBYN SURGES AHEAD OF FOOT CORBYN SURGES AHEAD OF FOOT
HOW FRIENDS OF THE EARTH DODGE CHARITY REGULATIONS HOW FRIENDS OF THE EARTH DODGE CHARITY REGULATIONS
CORBYN AIDE: I THINK WE SHOULD SHOOT WOODCOCK CORBYN AIDE: I THINK WE SHOULD SHOOT WOODCOCK
TEQUILA SCAMMERS: LANSMAN’S LATE NIGHT SECRET ELECTION TEQUILA SCAMMERS: LANSMAN’S LATE NIGHT SECRET ELECTION
Comments & Readership Comments & Readership
MCDONNELL’S PARTIALLY PUBLISHED TAX RETURN MCDONNELL’S PARTIALLY PUBLISHED TAX RETURN
COCKNEY DONALD TRUMP COCKNEY DONALD TRUMP