Tory Wars: Long Term Inter-Galactic Plan

It is a period of civil war. Rebel spaceships, striking from a Home Office base, have won their first victory against the evil Govian Empire.

During the battle, Rebel SpAds managed to leak secret plans to the Empire’s ultimate weapon, the PREVENT STRATEGY, an armored space station with enough power to drain an entire swamp.

Pursued by the Empire’s sinister special advisers, Princess Maya races home aboard her starship, custodian of the stolen letter that can save her people and restore freedom…

20140611-083028-30628546.jpg

Growth will be back, and in greater numbers too. George Osborne has announced that a new Star Wars film will be made in the UK, or as he calls it “a long term economic plan in a galaxy far far away”. Sajid Javid is more of a Trekkie but adds “the force is strong in this one”. Now the Chancellor just needs to strike down May and Boris and he will become more powerful than he can possibly imagine. Help me OBR, you’re my only hope…




Tip offs: 0709 284 0531
team@Order-order.com

Quote of the Day

Sky’s Faisal Islam on the mood in Parliament at the moment:

“It’s a totally febrile atmosphere here. It’s kind of like Game of Thrones meets House of Cards – and if you chuck in the Labour Party – Laurel and Hardy too.”

Guidogram: Sign up

Subscribe to the most succinct 7 days a week daily email read by thousands of Westminster insiders.

Facebook

TRACKING #TORYLEADERSHIP CAMPAIGN 2016 TRACKING #TORYLEADERSHIP CAMPAIGN 2016
SEUMAS’ BAD IDEA SEUMAS’ BAD IDEA
FARAGE VICTORY SPEECH TO EUROPEAN PARLIAMENT FARAGE VICTORY SPEECH TO EUROPEAN PARLIAMENT
LABOUR COUP DAY 3 LABOUR COUP DAY 3
INSIDE THE PLP: “THE WORST SPEECH I HAVE EVER HEARD IN MY LIFE” INSIDE THE PLP: “THE WORST SPEECH I HAVE EVER HEARD IN MY LIFE”
“SAVE JEZ” SUPPORTERS DEMAND “100 NEW MPS” “SAVE JEZ” SUPPORTERS DEMAND “100 NEW MPS”
CAMERON ON LABOUR: “AND I THOUGHT I WAS HAVING A BAD DAY” CAMERON ON LABOUR: “AND I THOUGHT I WAS HAVING A BAD DAY”
JUNXIT! JUNCKER FACING CALLS TO RESIGN JUNXIT! JUNCKER FACING CALLS TO RESIGN
Runners & Riders Runners & Riders
Social Media’s Filter Bubble Driving Political Anger Social Media’s Filter Bubble Driving Political Anger
4 a.m. Tom Watson 4 a.m. Tom Watson
Britain Votes For Brexit Britain Votes For Brexit
BBC Declares Brexit Winner BBC Declares Brexit Winner
Guido’s Referendum Best Bits Guido’s Referendum Best Bits
Bob Geldof Boat Passenger Votes Leave Bob Geldof Boat Passenger Votes Leave
Which Brexiteer Are You? Which Brexiteer Are You?
Referendum Day CCHQ Leak Referendum Day CCHQ Leak
Liz Hurley Backs Brexit Liz Hurley Backs Brexit
WHICH REMAINER ARE YOU? WHICH REMAINER ARE YOU?