June 11th, 2014

PMQs LIVE: Tory Wars Edition

Oral Questions to the Prime Minister

Q1 Katy Clark (North Ayrshire and Arran)

Q2 Mr Barry Sheerman (Huddersfield)

Q3 Graham Evans (Weaver Vale) 

Q4 Chris Skidmore (Kingswood) 

Q5 Ian Lavery (Wansbeck) 

Q6 Dr Alan Whitehead (Southampton, Test)

Q7 Jason McCartney (Colne Valley) 

Q8 Mrs Emma Lewell-Buck (South Shields)

Q9 Mike Freer (Finchley and Golders Green)

Q10 Mel Stride (Central Devon)

Q11 Sir Tony Baldry (Banbury) 

Q12 Mike Kane (Wythenshawe and Sale East) 

Q13 Debbie Abrahams (Oldham East and Saddleworth) 

Q14 Alison Seabeck (Plymouth, Moor View) 

Q15 Andrew Jones (Harrogate and Knaresborough)

Comments in the comments please…


  1. 1
    Sleazy little prick says:

    I predict dreariness.

  2. 2
    Fluff says:

    Greetings, pop pickers

  3. 3
    No class says:

    Graceless Scottish tramp

  4. 4
    Suzie says:

    How many Labour and how many Conservative?

  5. 5
    Sir Jimmy Savile, made in Britain by the BBC says:

    I never liked pop music that much.

  6. 6
    Falklands residents says:

    Is she wishing Argentina well?

  7. 7
    Idon'tneednodoctor says:

    I predict labour hypocrisy.

  8. 8
    Fruitcake, swivel eyed loony, closet racist, crank and gadfly says:

    If then Jocks vote yes you’ll be out of a job you silly bitch.

  9. 9
    Inglish bigot watch says:

    FFS the ani scottish bigotry has started already. Im getting to fuck.

  10. 10
    Killing OK r@pe Bad says:

    And how is William Hague and the “NGOs” going to end sexual violence in conflict.?

  11. 11
    Fruitcake, swivel eyed loony, closet racist, crank and gadfly says:

    The key question Ed is how long you will be Labour leader.

  12. 12
    Weird Watch says:

    Ed Miliband is weird. Very weird.

  13. 13
    Hypocrite says:

    Second question from mong. I’ve tuned out already…

  14. 14
    Mr Helpful says:

    Pass out condoms?

  15. 15
    Messrs Gove & May says:

    Time for our Irish Joke then.

    ‘I’ve bought a new clock,’ boasted Clancy. ‘It goes eight days without winding.’

    ‘How long does it go if you do wind it?’ asked the barman.

  16. 16
    Steve Miliband says:

    Employment? Mosul?

    Nah 6 on schools

  17. 17
    Fruitcake, swivel eyed loony, closet racist, crank and gadfly says:

    Hammond, the minister for war separating Gove & May.

  18. 18
    Square Peg in Round Hole says:

    One thing is certain. Ed Miliband is not of Prime Ministerial stuff

  19. 19
    Fruitcake, swivel eyed loony, closet racist, crank and gadfly says:

    Passport agency fucked up under Labour as well or had you forgotten Ed?

  20. 20
    Boring Snoring says:

    Is this PMQs or Citizens advice ?

  21. 21
    Yawn says:

    Dear me, he is fucking dreary

  22. 22
    Two tits slugging it out in a bra says:

    I’d hate to get between Gove and May in a fight I might get very slightly scratched.

  23. 23
    Fruitcake, swivel eyed loony, closet racist, crank and gadfly says:

    Bring back Betty.

  24. 24
    Disgruntled Tory says:

    Once again, in English please.

  25. 25
    Yawn says:

    Oh god, put a stop to this silly little boy….

  26. 26
    Zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz says:

    I suppose now that Brussels runs the country, it is a given that PMQs is more like a Parish Council meeting

  27. 27
    Lets all laugh at the Inglish hypocritical twat says:

    Thats rich coming from the c unts who say ‘scotch’ !

  28. 28
    Fruitcake, swivel eyed loony, closet racist, crank and gadfly says:

    Penny watch.

  29. 29
    There's your problem says:

    African troops are rapists who happen to be in an army.

  30. 30
    Steve Miliband says:

    My new drivers licence was a day late!! What you gunna do about it?

  31. 31
    Ponsing about with actors says:

    Fuck me he couldnt even sort out sexual violence in Welsh care homes !!!

  32. 32
    littleEnglander says:

    I take it you will be voting against separation from the Inglish then. Sorry, what was that?

  33. 33
    Fruitcake, swivel eyed loony, closet racist, crank and gadfly says:

    It’s the Electoral Commission’s performance that’s depressing. What you going to do about it Dave?

  34. 34
    Labour's collusion with IRA shame says:

    Well said Nigel Dodds.

  35. 35
    Fruitcake, swivel eyed loony, closet racist, crank and gadfly says:

    Translated as ‘Fuck off Paddy’.

  36. 36
    Turning the question back on the bigots says:

    I take it you wont be voting Conservative & Unionist NOR Ukip then ?

  37. 37
    Top song says:

  38. 38
    Fruitcake, swivel eyed loony, closet racist, crank and gadfly says:

    Hear, hear.

  39. 39
    Anonymous says:

    But what hypocrisy. their definition of war makes it perfectly ok to bomb a woman to smithereens or maim her for life but totally wrong to r@pe her.

  40. 40
    Fruitcake, swivel eyed loony, closet racist, crank and gadfly says:

    ‘Where it all went wrong’ is when the citizens of Wansbeck elected a useless twat like you.

  41. 41
    David Cameron says:

    I’m just doing my job.

  42. 42
    Stupid little man says:

    WTF has eating Curry got to do with PMQs

    Bercow is not Big and he’s not funny

  43. 43
    WTF is he on ? says:

    Has Bercow been drinking ?

  44. 44
    Fruitcake, swivel eyed loony, closet racist, crank and gadfly says:

    Just wait if Salmond gets his way mate.

  45. 45
    New to this place, just popped in for a coffee says:

    Could someone tell me who the short f*ck who thinks he’s a stand up comedian is? Tandoori in Kennington anyone?

  46. 46
    John Major says:

    I used to eat Curry when I was PM

  47. 47
    Just wondering says:

    What are the current Employment support allowance claimant figures?.

  48. 48
    Workahs says:

    Mista speakaa

  49. 49
    Buddy Holly says:

    That’ll be the fucking day.

  50. 50
    Gordon Brown says:

    I’ve just spotted Michael Gove pick his nose during PMQ’s live on Sky News.

    Oy Vey,it’s catching on .

  51. 51
    Corruption watch says:

    Tessa Jowell

  52. 52
    Dennis Skinner says:

    T’ coalitions last…..Zzzzzzz

  53. 53
    Joss Taskin says:

    Why no UKIP MP’s at PMQ’s ????

  54. 54
    cheche says:

    All questions from Scotland about benefits

  55. 55
    David "I'm obsessed with Buttock Sex" Cameron says:

    Tories keep peddling ‘The best route out of poverty is work’ Then why is there such an increase in poverty amongst working families

  56. 56
    Squeaker Bercow says:

    Shouting random nonsense – does David Cameron have Tourettes syndrome?

  57. 57
    Fruitcake, swivel eyed loony, closet racist, crank and gadfly says:


  58. 58
    Re inventing the wheel , its what the uselss twats do to look busy says:

    Great idea from that Tory MP, asking the Government to introduce legislation to make assault illegal !

  59. 59
    Fog says:

    More to the point – why do so many people wait until a couple of weeks before they’re going on holiday to renew their passports?

  60. 60
    Socialism is theft says:

    Millions more immigrants cutting workers’ wages means much poverty. Simple. Vote UKIP.

  61. 61
    Thanks Dave says:

    My zero hour contract means i have to claim rent,council tax and living allowance benefit…but hey at least i’m not unemployed.

  62. 62
    cheche says:

    Lets just spend lots of money talking about London from Brusssels. More champagne Andrew?

  63. 63
  64. 64
    Why is he death of murderers not allowed yet collateral damage an unfortunate neccessity ? says:

    Its he same moral hypocricy which is against the execution of murders for the greater good of society yet accept the death of innocent people for the greater good of war.

  65. 65
    Fog says:

    J.K. Rowling giving £1m to the ‘no’ campaign in Scotland, gives her reasons: “blah…blah…blah…”
    Translation: If the ‘yes’ side win it will get rid of Labour government forever in England, and I’m a Labour supporter, so I don’t want that to happen.

  66. 66
    Big Suspender says:

    Several possible reasons such as: too many kids, running gas-guzzlers, possession of high-tariff smartphones, sky sports subscriptions….In short, not living within their means.

  67. 67
    Dangerous Brian says:

    Because, before the huge queues of newly created “citizens” it seemed quite reasonable to most legally esconsed inhabitants of the country to expect a simple document to be renewed in 10 working days.
    Or am I being a little naive?

  68. 68
    Office tea/coffee club manager says:

    If you’re having a coffee don’t forget to put some money in the jar.

  69. 69
    All together now says:

    Share Hotel rooms?

  70. 70
    Sepp Blatter says:

    F’off racist.

  71. 71
    Dangerous Brian says:

    That depends a lot on your defenition of poverty.

  72. 72
    David Axlegrease says:

    TAXI !!!!!!!!!!!!!!

  73. 73
    Bert says:

    We say it just to rile you — works like a charm!

    Vote “Yes”. Destroy Labour.

  74. 74
    Bert says:

    Who can tell the difference?

  75. 75
    Pitkapoika says:

    I don’t say Scotch, I say Jockonese.

  76. 76
    Joss Taskin says:

    Is it ‘cos you’re useless ?

  77. 77
    Dangerous Brian says:

    But on the plus side I’ve made trillions from the gullible idiots who read and watch the utter crap I put out.

  78. 78
    still walking into darkness says:

    even ‘Labour list’ is talking about 9 of their current seats being taken by UKIP next year. At least the same again in current Tory seats. Would be great and not least because at least someone might ask some sensible questions like wtf are we doing in the EU versus some totally inane babble from Miliband about passports or the continuous drivel of the World cup

  79. 79
    Dangerous for Britain says:

    Passports are highly important documents, and quite complex too these days. Better not rushed.

  80. 80
    Anonymous says:

  81. 81
    David Cameron says:

    Its just like picking on a disabled child ;)

  82. 82
    Roy Hodgson says:

    F*ck off pretending you`r normal people, we don’t want support from tw@s like you.

  83. 83
    Pitkapoika says:

    My solution would also help in population control, create loads more sopranos, and make a lot of eyes water.

  84. 84
    Hugh Janus says:

    Absolutely. Make mine a double, will you, old chap.

  85. 85
    Show me your papers says:

    Who said this backlog is from people going on holiday wanting to renew previous passports?
    It might be all those nice immigrants who’ve suddenly acquired the paperwork to become British and it’s broken the machinery…..

  86. 86
    Will says:

    Run the country I would not trust a politician to run a bath for me

  87. 87
    Pitkapoika says:

    Because they are incapable of joined up thinking, or ,in the common parlance pig-thick.

  88. 88
    Taxi Time Warp says:

    What does digital mean?

  89. 89
    Disgruntled Tory says:

    Half past two. It just sounds like a noise.

  90. 90
    David Cameron says:

    Lazy English.

  91. 91

    Well It is the ConLab Party !

  92. 92
    cheche says:

    Did the BBC pay for Chris and Liam to go to Brsls?

  93. 93
    The BBC are cunts says:

    Why not ? It’s only Licence Payers’ money.

  94. 94
    Bumster Nigel Evans says:

    That new boy Bobby Jenrick seems nice.
    I might touch him up behind the curtains later.

  95. 95
    LOL says:

  96. 96
    David Cameron says:

    Initiate him hard and fast.

  97. 97
    jgm2 says:

    I renewed my son’s passport last month. All done online. Didn’t even need to get his new photo witnessed or anything. Just give them all the details, send off the old passport and a new photo.


    Took about two weeks I think. Maybe three.

  98. 98

    Coz they re thick as pigshit and twice as soft.

  99. 99

    I think it could be Age UK.

  100. 100
    Wake up & vote UKIP says:

    We’re being taxed into poverty.

  101. 101

    If you need a new driver s licence you must be over 70 .

    Why are you still alive sponging off the NHS?

  102. 102
    Anonymous says:

    Tighten your belt Bobby, otherwise Nigel will have his hand down your trousers.

  103. 103
    Malcolm Rifkind says:

    A female Scots Labour member claimed she would have nightmares thinking of Cameron in Speedos. Pity he was too much of a gent to make suggestions about the level of her attractiveness wearing next to nothing. Good job he was a gent or the media & sisterhood would have descended on him like a ton of bricks

  104. 104
    PC Knott-Likely says:

    And the Lib Dems.

    So all our established parties want to pursue this crazy pro-mass immigration policy of admitting Turkey whilst all are claiming they want to “do something” about immigration. Yeah, like F U do.

  105. 105
    Tim Yeo-Yo says:

    There’s someone called Jimmy accusing people of trolling on the recommended Labour List article. Surely that’s not our favourite hypocritical leftie Jimmy is it?

    What a sad leftard he must be.

  106. 106


    Every mornin’ at the mine
    You could see him arrive
    He stood five feet two
    And weighed one zero five
    Kinda hunchbacked at the shoulder
    Yet chunky at the hip
    And every body knew
    He took everybody s lip

    Small John Small Joh-honn
    Wee Small John

  107. 107
    The Clintons says:

    Well we had it pretty bad….

  108. 108

    Well he won t willl he cox when push conex to shove you jocks will all be hiding behind Boudicca s State teat in case you are actually asked to work for a living in this brand new stand alone world he is advocating ….where only YOUR taxes will be availabke to fund free prescriptions , free old age care and deep fried Mars Bars .

  109. 109
    Tim Yeo-Yo says:

    My passport renewal took 3 weeks and 2 days in May. Don’t need it until August but thought it might get busy over summer so applied early.

    It’s not fuking difficult to renew in time. You’ve got 10 whole fuking years to do it!

    Has this country always been as thick or has it got significantly thicker since 1997?

  110. 110


  111. 111

    they obviously require passports for a state funded six week furlough back home to see their families while the bennies accumulate here for collection on their return ..

    iss their eeewwwwmaannnn rights innit ?

  112. 112

    I believe the latter Timothy . But there again look which Party took the reins for 13 years from 1997 …….

    ……now ” conflate” the two events ….

  113. 113
    Mr Anonymous says:

    The orange boxes are from ‘overseas’ applications for UK passports, the white boxes are from UK applicants.

    Look at the photo and you can see what is driving this…

  114. 114

    I predict a bunch of grown adults acting like children

  115. 115
    Mr Angry says:

    Maybe if you’d worked harder at school you’d have a half decent job now?

  116. 116

    The word ‘scotch’ is a perfectly good adjective to describe anything originating from that country.

  117. 117
    Four-eyed English Genius says:

    The adjective “scotch” is perfectly valid English.

  118. 118
    Mycroft says:

    You’re a winner!

    Sadly, not the most elusive of predictions, but a win’s a win!

  119. 119
    Mycroft says:

    Another winner!!!

    A site full of Mystic Megs!

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