June 9th, 2014

May SpAd Drove Dre Mad


It’s increasingly rare that Craig Oliver has anything to smile about, but he’ll be happy with the exit of Fi Cunningham, who vocalised what most of the SpAds think about the Downing Street Director of Comms. One ‘pal’ told this morning’s Sun: “She thought he was an idiot.” Another described Mr Oliver as “a Grade A ****”.’ As someone with all the authority of a boy scout, who struggles to command respect at the best of times, Cunningham’s attitude drove poor Craig round the bend.

In Sunday’s Sun Guido recounted his favourite tale involving Cunningham repeatedly fobbing off his orders to report to Downing Street for a bollocking. Seeing the No. 10 switchboard number when her phone rang again, she answered: “Sorry, Craig, I’m really busy.” “Get… here… now!” said a voice. She replied: “Right away, Prime Minister.”


  1. 1
    Michael Gove says:

    Oh do fuck off you Marxist c*nt,Theresa !


    • 8
      One sentence is worth a page of waffle says:

      She got too big for her boots then.


    • 20
      You Heard it here First says:

      Andy Murray has done for Alex Salmond. 3 sets to love.

      All the firepower of the yes and No campaigns has been blown intro insignificance by the Scotch Tennis player’s wee put down of Salmond.

      Scottish people you ain’t going nowhere now.


    • 76
      Infanta of Castile says:

      A bit tangential, but I was intrigued to see that Labour fielded a Glasgow MP to discuss the islamification of Birmingham schools on the Daily Politics. But then, why would I be surprised? Scots MPs are able to vote on English education policy after all.


  2. 2
    ned ludd says:

    Hahahahaha! Get here now. Loveit

    Love it.


    • 53
      Morgan's Organ says:

      Why does Cameron surround himself with prats like Oliver? GET RID!


      • 58
        Jamie Oliver, John Oliver... says:

        cos they’re Chosen?


      • 67
        SIZE 15 CARBON FOOTPRINT says:

        Because he is the Arch Prat of all Pratendom !


        • 81
          Just Saying. says:

          I had a “leader” like him in Afghanistan. Great with the written policy wonk wording which means nothing; but absolutely useless with people and totally besotted with himself.
          He is now in Switzerland driving them mad.


  3. 3
    Profligate Dave says:

    It’s really great htat the taxpayers don’t seem to mind paying for all these useless bastards.

    Don’t forget to Vote Conservative in 2015, for yet more ConLibLabbing


    • 10
      Neil Hamilton, UKIP spokesman says:

      Pay me instead, my rates are reasonable


    • 24
      long John Silver' s parrot says:

      How much was she on?

      What expenses and perks has she claimed in the last six months?

      If we provided her with an ipad and iphone are we going to get them back?

      Was there any termination “package” ?


      • 85
        carroccio1958 says:

        What was her golden goodbye to buy her confidentiality signature on a no-spill-beans post employment contract .

        ( official secrets act means nothing these days if you go to somewhere like Asuncion with your luchre)


  4. 4
  5. 5
    Prime Minister"Money's no object" Cameron says:

    Rushing through emergency legislation making it illegal to work on Mondays when the temperature is more than 20 degrees.


  6. 6

    G’uardian have finally gone native on Twitter:

    ‘Belarus: 20 years under the dictatorship, lagging behind Europe for a revolution’

    Vote UKIP :-D


  7. 9
    Iain Duncan Smith says:

    Rising prices and frozen wages – that’s why Britain needs a pay rise | Food bank demand up 54% in 2013 http://gu.com/p/3qv75/tw


    • 12
      Mrs May says:

      I am just here waiting for the first Tory troll to start wittering on about plasma tellys and iphones.

      Remember to the Tory mind poverty & unemployment has always been a price worth paying


      • 18
        Benny Fitz-Clements says:

        Please hold your breath.


      • 21
        jgm2 says:

        It’s LED tv’s now. Chavs wouldn’t be seen dead with an out-dated plasma TV. Unless they were looting it during a riot for later sale.


      • 79
        The Growler says:

        I haven’t got a flat screen telly, still got the old CRT telly, still gives a very good picture and it’s 10 years old so what’s the point of getting a flat screen telly, I only watch it 1 to 3 hours in a day.


    • 19
      Socialism is theft says:

      Yes let everyone have a pay rise and give more money to the EU and other countries. We can afford it. We are a rich country. We only owe £15 trillion of debt.

      This is the mathematics of the socialist.


    • 22
      Labour says:

      Yes carry on “demanding” your free food, it’s your right. Don’t worry about your responsibilities. We’ll keep taxing the rich to pay to keep you dependant on the state and voting for us.


      • 29
        Lance Corporal Bill Bloggs (retired) says:

        You can only spend other peoples money for so long you stupid twat.


    • 27
      Long John Silver' s parrot says:

      Foodbanks are evil.

      Foodbanks are the problem.

      Foodbanks undermine human endeavour and lead to lifetimes of dependancy.

      Foodbanks undermine out Society.

      Anyone running or participating in a Foodbank should be arrested.


    • 37
      Hooda Thunquit says:

      Free Stuff demand up by 54% in 2013.

      Analysts predict further growth in the demand for free stuff in 2014.


    • 59
      The Taliban Dance Band says:

      “Oxfam” and “The Church Action (sic) on Poverty” … now they wouldn’t have an agenda would they?


      • 71
        Ann, the poverty stricken accounts clerk says:

        Only to keep their CEOs in clover and honey for the next 30 years or so.

        I once worked in the aid field in deepest darkest Africa and the only decent thing I ever saw which might be rated as progress was drilling fresh water wells for the villagers. This always worked once the water was found because a local village woman was always placed in charge of the facility.


  8. 11
    Ex Tory voter says:

    I like Fi Cunningham

    She should join UKIP…

    The only one with the courage to tell Oliver and the papier mache Prime Minister


    Fuck off to your Chipping Norton mob and take your bungs like your gangster hero Toni the Conman…


    • 34
      Flying over the Westminster Village says:

      What is all this about “bungs” ?

      Has anyone been arrested and charged yet?


      • 43
        Legal Beagle says:

        Politians like Blair can take bungs from banks, dictators, oligarchs and never get prosecuted

        Like the banksters, too big to jail, you see?

        The Rule of Law broke down years ago in Britain


        • 70
          Just Curious says:

          OK so Blair gets away with fraud you say.

          Nothing to stop you posting here the facts upon which you rely so we can all do our bit to stop such things in the future.


          • Ann, the poverty stricken accounts clerk says:

            Swapsies. You first – please explain minute detail how he went from humble MP to multi-millionaire with several large houses in the most expensive parts of London in less than the blink of an eye.


        • 86
          carroccio1958 says:

          Maybe too big to jail

          But not too weak to torture.


      • 48
        The Last Conservative in the Party says:

        Might be butt bungs like plugs I understand but wider, I’m sure Dave is in favour of them.


  9. 13
    non taxable pikey says:

    A short coalition by anyone’s standard. Palestinian Authority chairman Mahmoud Abbas demanded Sunday that his Presidential Guard take over the Gaza Strip-Egyptian Sinai crossings and borders. No need to act “today or tomorrow,” he said, but unless the PA is assigned a function in the crossings, the Fatah-Hamas reconciliation will not survive.


  10. 15
    Guffaws says:

    What’s the difference between the Lib Dems and Northern Rock?

    The Lib Dems are the ones losing their deposits these days!


    • 26
      Bankster spotter says:

      Northern Rock had a Tory Chairman when it went belly up


      • 40
        Robert Pesty says:

        Northern Rock were a victim of the credit crisis – not a cause of it.


        • 47
          Facts, dear boy says:


          Northern Rock was grossly overgeared

          Paying bonuses that encouraged total irresponsility

          Are you a bankster?

          Read Charles Ferguson’s books proving generalsed criminality on Wall Street and in Laundry London


          • The Last Conservative in the Party says:

            You are correct. It really is tragic the way banksters have managed to make the whole mess look like it was a natural disaster that had nothing to do with them.


          • jgm2 says:

            Even more amazing how Brown tried to make out it was a mess that had nothing to do with him, that had appeared completely out of the blue overnight and simply could not have been predicted, prevented or dealt with differently.


        • 49
          jgm2 says:

          Yeah. 110% mortgages. ‘Victims’ of the ‘credit crisis’. Without a ‘credit crisis’ that was a thoroughly sensible economic model.

          Just like without the ‘credit crisis’ borrowing 30bn a year for a decade to pay 1 million newly hired public sector workers was a thoroughly sensible economic policy.

          Gee. What could possibly go wrong if it wasn’t for the ‘credit crisis’.


          • T shirt holder says:

            Actually, these were not quite what they seemed to be. 80% was secured lending at the mortgage rate and the rest unsecured at a higher rate! usually to the young who fucked off as soon as one found someone better leaving a mess behind.

            Allied with Mongo’s unfortunate, ha, holding of the last musical chair and it was all over.


          • Robert Pesty says:

            The credit crisis was caused by bad mortgage debts in America being wrapped up in opaque derivatives and sold on as AAA-rated (by American rating agencies) products.

            The mortgages went bad in America, mainly because Clinton forced loaners to make loans to people who could not afford them.

            Everything else followed from there, no matter how much of a lefty bed-wetter you are.


          • jgm2 says:

            Yeah. Right. It’s all the yanks fault.

            No. It isn’t.

            The UK, Ir*el*and, Ice*land, the US etc all did the same stupid wrong thing. They lent too much money during a housing boom – a housing boom fuelled by rigged row interest rates – rates politically rigged low to keep a housing boom going and then, when they could lend no more many to no more muppets – when the music had to stop – the politicians – the ones who’d been rigging the low rates to keep their borrowed and squandered economy on the road, blamed the banks.

            I’ll say it again. On the day Lady D*i died the BBC was caught flat-footed. Hadn’t a fucking clue what to do. Played sombre soviet-style music for hours while they ran around getting their shit together.

            On the morning that the ‘financial crisis that started in America and had fuck all to do with me, Gordon Brown’ broke overnight they had a half hour infomercial off-pat and prepared and ready to run masquerading as ‘news’.

            This ‘credit crunch’ was a political failure and the banks were thrown to the wolves to distract attention from the politicians who not only allowed it to develop but actively encouraged it to develop at every fucking step.


    • 42
      Mrs Slocumbe's Pussy says:

      One lot are bankers, the other are w….


  11. 23
    Michael Gove's SPAD says:

    ‘Mrs May Twerking At PMQ’s Was Painful': 1922 Committee React To Home Secretary’s Performance In House Of Commons.


  12. 25
    BBC Head of head says:

    So we are where we are.

    Soon everybody will be sick of hearing about schools, the R of P can go about their usual ways and practices and when the next group emerge we shall have plenty of horror stories and mayhem to report.

    It’s a win win.

    Julian, dear boy, please come to my room now.


  13. 35
    anusbridger says:



    • 36
      The BBC are cunts says:

      We’re here to spread lefty lies. Inshallah.


    • 44
      Analyst says:

      The Times stable at almost no circulation – whooper-dee-doo.

      I’d prefer to be the owner of the Daily Mail or The Sun with nearly 4 million between them.


    • 63
      T shirt holder says:

      Indie’s 16000! Your average shitty take away has a higher flyer circulation.


  14. 39
    Davo says:

    I seem to have logged onto the Sun website…


  15. 41
    Nice Story, But.. says:

    The Prime Minister doesn’t call SpAd’s directly, obviously. A flunky gets the connection and then passes the PM over.


    • 51
      The Last Conservative in the Party says:

      Usually this is so, but I understand Dave was in an ‘incandessant with rage’ moment and got number called for him whilst he waited for the line to be picked up. What a man of action he is!


    • 88
      carroccio1958 says:

      “Hello Fiona This is Algernon from the PM s Private Office please stand by to speak to the Prime Minister..”

      Fiona “Look Craig Ha Ha good try but I ‘m really really busy right now ….”

      Guess Who : ” GET OVER HERE RIGHT AWAY !!!”

      Fiona : Gosh Craig that really really sounded like the Prime Minister . In fact if I didn t know better …….Oh God !!”


  16. 45
    SS says:

    If Craig Oliver is anything like his father, he will be fu&king useless, he was one of the worst chief Huntstables this country has ever seen.


  17. 52
    Anonymous says:

    Have we got any info on Mr Farr and the (in)effectiveness of him paying all that Danegeld to Islamists?


  18. 54
    Breakin News says:

    Miliband calls for shop to be put into special measures.

    Sex shop worker ‘attacked with sex toys by thief wearing crotchless panties’


  19. 69
    joolz says:

    is there a D notice on Mr Cameroons naughty nanny, cant find any pics of her


  20. 72
    Jimmy Hill says:

    So people who frequent football dugouts actually swear.

    Really I think the Daily Mail is fast becoming deconnected from reality.


    • 89
      Anonymous says:

      If anyone wonders why the left spend so much time online attacking the Daily Mail, the circulation figures upthread provide a big part of the answer.


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