June 6th, 2014

WATCH: Patrick Mercer Crashes Into Parked Car


  1. 1
    Ed Twelvety Balls says:

    Parked cars are a menace!

  2. 2
    Keyser Snoozey says:


  3. 3
    Important Tory says:

    I was coming out of the car park when this parked car crashed into me.

  4. 4

    We need Gordon to write something similar on a larger piece of paper some seven hundred miles long by two hundred and fifty wide. Instead of ‘car’ it will say ‘country’.

  5. 5
    Farage The Fud says:

    Ed wrecks your car then fucks off!

  6. 6
    StevieBC says:

    Typical politician:
    can’t say/write “Sorry” to one of the plebs in his old constituency !

  7. 7
    Harriet Hatescars says:

    What an amateur

  8. 8
    StevieBC says:

    Erm…would a certain TV reporter be the cause of said bump ?

    Standing in the middle of the road, trying to distract the driver of a moving car – without good cause…? He’s only a bl**dy reporter.

    Could be fun ahead. ;)

  9. 9
    Anonymous says:

    Would he have left a note if he didn’t see you filming him?

  10. 10
    Norman Normal says:

    You aren’t allowed to admit liability by saying sorry – terms n conditions in car insurance policies so I’ll forgive him for that but why didn’t he do the sensible thing and drive over Michael Prick?

  11. 11

    Someone claimed to have returned to his damaged car to find the following note: sorry I hit your car. There’s a crowd gathering around me. They think I’m writing down my name and insurance details. I’m not.

  12. 12
    The Daily Hash says:

    Another example of Crick generating his own story.
    For fucks sake don’t let him near an aircraft.

  13. 13

  14. 14
    Sue Denim says:

    If Crick and the cameraman weren’t there, he would not have been distracted.

    Crick is the cause.

  15. 15
    BigBongDingDong says:

    Peston really is a fucking tosser

    In the Guardian today he writes ““But routinely I ignore what my readers tell me get their rocks off, and publish and broadcast stuff that probably seems spectacularly dull – about, for example, the technicalities of global rules for keeping banks safe and strong, which I in my paternalistic way feel I need to tell people about, because they are so important to our prosperity, and because they failed so spectacularly.”

    Peston knows fuck all about fuck all

    I don’t need a wanker like Peston telling me about the Banks

    Left wing wankers like Peston caused the crash

  16. 16
    The most amusing claim ever ? says:

    The climax of the pretty dire French M”Spectacular” at Ouistreham to commemorate 70th Anniversary of D Day is …………a celebration of the EU to the overpowering strains of “Ode to Joy”…the EU that makes war in europe an impossibility in the future ????????.I bet Putin watching in the VIP audience was pretty impressed…he certainly looked it…..whilst Obama settled back with his headphones and chewed gum…Prince Philip just looked askance…….who created this show…the same people who did the same for the Millenium Dome Experience in 2000 ?????

  17. 17
    MB. says:

    Hollande waffled on for ages at the International Event in Normandy, then they had to make it into a propaganda event for the EU. Ending with a French veteran and German veteran meeting as Beethoven’s 9th played then the stage was turned into a EU flag.

  18. 18

    Vote UKIP :-D

  19. 19
    Wasn't my fault. Promise says:

    Shame that videos never work on this site.

  20. 20
    Dixon Dock Green says:

    I would sue Michael Crick for causing an obstruction,

    “thus making sure that in order to avoid him, I accidentally hit another vehicle.”

  21. 21
    Just the perfect voice for radio????????????? says:

    Can you even understand what the guy is trying to say? His voice is so mangled, his inflexions are out of kilt, and his pronounciation leaves a lot to be desired.
    How terribly smart of the BBC to continue to employ him.

  22. 22
    Adolf Hilter says:

    I was at the other beachhead at Calais!

  23. 23
    Bert says:

    What with one thing and another, it hasn’t been Patrick’s week.

    BTW, why isn’t he in prison?

  24. 24
    Priorite a Droite says:

    If it were Diane instead of Crick, Mercer could have used her as a roundabout.

  25. 25
    F##k the LibLabCon says:


  26. 26
    StevieBC says:

    Yes, fair play – he was correct not to write sorry and admit liability.
    I have suitably given myself a slap for that little faux pas.

  27. 27
    Peter Carter-Fuck says:

    I thought everyone knew that the answer to any question from Michael Crick is “Fuck off you goggle eyed twat”, followed by a sound thrashing with a manifesto if you have one to hand. Never try and talk to the fucker.

  28. 28
    Bert says:

    Usually the note reads something like this:

    There were witnesses when I hit your car, so for their benefit I’m pretending to leave my details. As you can see, I’m not leaving them.

  29. 29
    Bert says:

    You have probably got an infected copy of Flash. Adobe products are the spawn of Satan.

  30. 30
    Bert says:

    And if she’d opened her legs he could have got across the Channel.

  31. 31
    Norman Normal says:

    Yes the theatrics were very odd in places, not very suitable and terribly pro EU and dominated by greasy Hollande. Even Obama had a WTF expression.
    Best part was where everyone laughed at Putin looking awkward on the big screen.
    Hopefully it did some good. The little Russian man should get out more.

  32. 32
    Patrick Mercer says:

    Patrick Mercer

  33. 33
    Banned says:

    Crick is a TW@T !

  34. 34
    illogical says:

    C4 News did not allow my comment.
    What is wrong with the word prick?
    Shakespeare used it in Merchant of Venice.
    Is C4 News anti semitic?

  35. 35
    Norman Normal says:

    Or the wrong browser, Opera works best on Android Smartphones combined with the YouTube app.

  36. 36
    Valeria Victrix says:

    No, what he wrote was “I iiiig nore whaaat myreaderst ellme. Geeet theeeir rocksoffand puub lishandbroaaad cast stuffthatprooob ablyseems spec. Taaacularly dullabout, for eeexample, the technic calities of glooobalrules. Fork eeping banks. Safeandstrong.”

  37. 37
    Anonymous says:

    The Conservatives and David Cameron…

    One big car crash…

  38. 38
    Reginald Molehusband says:

    Took me ages to park that B’stard

  39. 39
    Tom Catesby says:

    Is Peston from the same place where they made the recent ‘Jamaica Inn’?

  40. 40
    Bloomers in rain-soaked Bongo Bongo Land says:


  41. 41
    Tom Catesby says:

    Run the prick down.

  42. 42
    Norma Stitz says:

    I’m sure that the overheated,nonagenarian veterans really appreciated the homosexual dancers ‘interpreting’ their historic achievements. What a dire production.

  43. 43
    Anonymous says:

    Green party candidate Trevor Allman at it again.

  44. 44
    Norman Normal says:

    Hazardous, Mercer and the car may have ended up as a cutaneous puss filled abscess lodged under a bingo wing, if he crashed into Fatbot.

  45. 45
    Tom Catesby says:

    20 million russian lives lost in world war two.

  46. 46
    Anonymous says:

  47. 47
    The Loan arranger says:

    So did Brown with this Country. Milibounder and Balls have been loitering around like a pair of Spivs, denying all knowledge of any wrongdoing or responsibility and even thinking one of them is going to get the job of Head Honcho in the gang of cowboys on the opposition benches.

  48. 48
    Tom Catesby says:

    There were/are plenty of russians to go around, chances are, they would have whipped hitler in any case, although I suppose opening a second front was handy, if only to keep stalin out of calais.

  49. 49
    Norman Normal says:

    What’s that? An Eco-Nazi allowing the feeble inner workings of his mind to be seen in public?
    More, more, encore! You dumb fuckwit. What great entertainment!

  50. 50
    Der Fuhrer says:

    I felt vindicated today,Now I know my plan for EUrope will be fulfilled, after seeing Hollande and his other National Socialist co-conspiritors today. Why didn’t you just surrende and save all this shit/

  51. 51
    Tim Yeo-Yo says:

    Does he have brain damage or is he just a total, fcuking vanker?

  52. 52
    Der Fuhrer says:

    ‘SURRENDER’, einschuldigung!

  53. 53
    Der Fuhrer says:

    ‘Homosexual dancers? My boys would have dealt with that shit.

  54. 54
    Elvis Bus Pass Party, Official Statement. says:

    We will form a coalition with anybody after May 2015 , After our encouraging success in Newark.

  55. 55
    Elvis Bus Pass Party, Official Statement. says:

    We will organise a whip round for the limp dicks lost deposit, just to show, no hard feelings.

  56. 56
    EeeYepBlowing Whistles says:

    Ughh not quite there anony – all three political parties are one massive car crash.

    Day by day – how much more 5hit can they collectively spin.
    e.g. Willets on ch4amuseus the other night said of the zombie government
    “… We are functioning as a coalition …”

    They have all become ‘functionaries’ – of the EUSSR.
    look up the dictionary of what a functionary does.

  57. 57
    Sally the Slag says:

    I’ll come round nd do it for you anytime. I practise on my hubby all the time.

  58. 58
    EeeYepBlowing Whistles says:

    in 8 words Peston says “… which I in my paternalistic way feel I …”

    Does he understand narcissisism, egomania, the me, me, I, I – disorder he exudes?

  59. 59
    The British media are cunts says:

    Must be fucking the BBC off that it’s only old white males who are the heroes today. Not a headscarf or massive beard in sight.

    Enjoy today folks, you’ll never see so much TV featuring only white people ever again.

  60. 60
    The Tallyman says:

    26 millions. 10 millions in the Armed Forces and the remaining 16 millions “disappeared”. Pol Pot was an amateur. But, of course, in Churchill’s grand scheme, as lots of people were going to have to die in epic numbers and the best he could manage was RAF area-bombing of civilians, trivial Commando raids on places like Vaagso, or getting a Canadian mixed Brigade massacred at Dieppe, the Ukrainians amongst others were a complete irrelevance to him.
    Joe Stalin wasn’t mad, his regime was evil, and Churchill, Eden and Macmillan were quite prepared to cover up the atrocities because they were as impotent without the Russians as they had been when Churchill elevated the diplomatic “Declaration of War” by Chamberlain to a shooting war by bombing Berlin and precipitating the Blitz.

  61. 61
    The British media are cunts says:

    You can bet the BBC and Channel 4 news won’t be reporting this, far worse would be a UKIP candidate who thinks women shouldn’t wear truosers.

  62. 62
    The British media are cunts says:

    Looking at him, I’m betting he’s a poofter.

  63. 63
  64. 64
    EeeYepBlowing Whistles says:

    Watergate – follow the money – who gained the most ‘profit’ for decade upon decade – with the payback of war loans with interest upon interest. It might go right over the top of some people’s ability to think with their brains but the truth is out there.

  65. 65
    Gordon the Great? says:

    P.S AND 2000000000 NOKIAS!!!

  66. 66
    Anonymous says:

    You have to reformat your hard drive.

  67. 67
    EeeYepBlowing Whistles says:

    Many unpalatable and sickening truths about WWII – which had been hitherto ‘hidden from Public view’ [The west and east collaborated to keep them silent] have come into the public domain – since the downfall of the East Germany / Communist regime – in 1989.

    Those truths and the ‘evidence’ – show clearly that people all over the world have been duped into ‘believing’ a false historical picture.

    The truth will prevail over evil and over those who have ‘concealed’ their own wrongdoing.

  68. 68
    JIMMY says:

    He is not the only one experiencing problems. So is the deputy chair of the Tory Party. It looks as though there is one political mess again in the old chestnut seat and ultra tory marginal seat of Falmouth. John Hick, Sarah Newton MP father, can be read about in the Falmouth Packet and what the court Judge has to say. Voters are also having their say ‘Not only as John Hick disgraced himself , he brought shame to his family too, especially, his daughter Sarah Hick MP for Falmouth & Truro , Sarah Hick also owns cottage/s at Pendra Loweth she too as siblings that have cottages there too .Wonder if John Hick as ripped is own Daughter off ,or do all is Daughters get special treatment , at the cost of other owners@. about at http://www.packetseries Falmouth Packet.

  69. 69
    EeeYepBlowing Whistles says:

    Take any 5 page section of Lord Levy’s book – and note the I, I, Me, Me, My, My of Levy’s narcissisism.

  70. 70
    Hugh Janus says:

    When Preston’s on, I’m off.

  71. 71
    Hugh Janus says:

    Or even Peston. . .!

  72. 72
    Hugh Janus says:

    Yes, ‘overheated’ sums it up. The most important people there – the veterans – were made to sit outside the VIP tent while those who just wanted to be seen there were shaded from the sun. Typical.

  73. 73
    Hugh Janus says:

    Is that why tax freedom day has moved further on yet again??

  74. 74
    ned ludd says:

    Bollocks. Hitler was a homo rentboy in Vienna.

  75. 75

    Government clearly regard tax as a means of controlling disposable income.

    Odd, as interest rates were meant to do that job post Thatcher.

    ‘Taxation is theft, purely and simply even though it is theft on a grand and colossal scale which no acknowledged criminals could hope to match.’ – Murray Rothbard

    Vote UKIP :-D

  76. 76
    Tim Yeo-Yo says:

    Looking at him I’m betting he is definitely a cnut.

  77. 77
    The British media are cunts says:

    Or a public toilet.

  78. 78
    carroccio1958 says:

    Yeah but he s supposed to be smoulderingly goodlooking such that when he comes on all the ladies pee their knickers …..

  79. 79
    Valeria Victrix says:

    Any links/references?

  80. 80
    Bert says:

    This is easily done by immersing your laptop in warm water with a little added vinegar. Leave overnight before rebooting.

  81. 81
    MB. says:

    ‘I’m sure that the overheated,nonagenarian veterans really appreciated the homosexual dancers ‘interpreting’ their historic achievements. What a dire production. ‘

    Most of the dignatories looked bored with the show. Fortunately BBC1 dropped out before the end of Hollande’s speech.

    Interesting that event was organised by the French and seemed to run about an hour late.

    The afternoon event in Arromanches seemed to be organised by the British so started and finished on time.

  82. 82
    EeeYepBlowing Whistles says:

    VV – if at this stage you need links/references – you first need a brain transplant and the wool taken from over your eyes.

  83. 83
    Get Crick says:

    I would say that the TV Crew and their reporter caused that collision.

  84. 84
    Uncle Joe says:

    So, that’s a “no” then

  85. 85
    Body spray says:

    There is no obvious damage to the bodywork of that car, just a scrape of paint. A bit of petrol on a rag will wash all that black stuff off with no damage to the original paint – but no mechanic will tell you that as they’d rather charge you 250 quid for the “repairs”.

  86. 86
    Body spray says:

    Oh shit – this idiot mod is a fucking nuisance!

    Try again:

    Body spray says:
    Your comment is awaiting moderation.
    June 7, 2014 at 3:09 am

    There is no obvious damage to the bodywork of that car, just a scr@pe of paint. A bit of petrol on a rag will wash all that bl@ck stuff off with no damage to the original paint – but no mechanic will tell you that as they’d rather charge you 250 quid for the “repairs”.

  87. 87
    Shoily Willyams says:

    FFs, do try to learn the difference between ‘as’ and ‘has’. It really is not that hard.

  88. 88
    Shoily Willyams says:

    I think his ‘pronounciation’ is a bad as your spelling.

    He was, however, directly responsible for the first run on a British bank for over 100 years.

  89. 89
    Flaming Torches R Us says:

    Just how much more fucking patronising can these bastards get?

    Oh yes, that’s ok, WE’LL LET YOU keep more of your own hard earned money instead of simply deciding how much we will continue to steal from you. We really do need a nice clean wall and a firing squad or two.

  90. 90
    Dumbcluck says:

    Would you recommend malt vinegar, white vinegar or cider vinegar? Your help is most appreciated.

  91. 91
    Dumbcluck says:

    There were one or two negroid looking folks in that lot, but I think they must have been American great escapees.

  92. 92
    Anonymous says:

    “At least he came back and left a note…”
    Which is far more than any fleeing fly frackers are ever likely to do…

  93. 93
    Paddy Pants Down says:

    Could not happen to a better person. He is a vile and very greedy man. You know what they say, a greedy man will eat himself. That’s right, Patrick? I know he’s a BIG fan of Gudio Fawkes, he will be reading all the posts while crying like a baby…. I was once a very powerful man …. lots of people respected me …. why is this happening to me ….. Because your Greedy, your full of yourself, your so full of Shit. Now go and get a proper Job you muppet. Ps your are the worse driver I have ever seen. Not as if you were driving a bus Ha ha ha

  94. 94
    The BBC not fit for purpose says:

    Yes Pesto is utterly devoid of subject knowledge and has terrible delivery. It’s also noticeable that his scoops during the banking crisis have waned since his friend Gordon Brown is no longer in government.

  95. 95
    DavesConstipatedLook says:

    Yeah, more bonus points if he had hit Crick instead.

  96. 96
    Displaced Brummie says:

    Does Me Prick always stand in front of cars? If so, may I suggest the Ladywood Middleway or the M6?

  97. 97
    Necrophiliac Dating Agency-Just Where Do They Dig These People Up From? says:

    Why don’t you publish his telephone number like the smug little Oxbridge tosspot, who’s on HIGNFY and Editor of Private Eye, did for my Local MEP? He only got Death Threats because of it. The smug little turd tried to shrug-off the ‘minor details’, but failed to see the Journalistic impact – unlike you obviously do Guido. If you can get Ian Hislop’s number, publish it. I’m sure there are many, many, many, many, call centre’s that would love to know if he’s like a ‘New Boiler’, or ‘If he’s been injured by Industrial Noise’, or even perhaps just to check to see if his Microsoft OS is working correctly…

  98. 98
    Anonymous says:

    Almost anything written about WW2 before 1977 when Enigma was revealed is complete bollocks anyway. Much of it is elaborate pontification about the fictitious cover stories devised to conceal the fact that we had broken the axis codes and were reading their signals.

  99. 99
    Can I say something that's not rather lame?.. says:

    He’s not a UKIP MEP candidate, he left after the ‘Fridge Episode’. Jog-on moron’s.

  100. 100
    Can I say something that's not rather lame?.. says:

    Fuck me, a borderline, front line blog that edits stuff that doesn’t suit itself (or Merdoch’s) line….5/10. Tell your crusty boss that his time has come…

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