June 6th, 2014

Newark By-Election Results in Full

Majority 7,403. A very comfortable win for the Tories…


  1. 1
  2. 2
    Norbert Jenrick says:

    I’d to thank Christie’s zzzzzzzzzzz

    I will now be leaving the area and probably won’t be coming back until next May.

    Vote Blue go Pink x

  3. 3
    Say NO to European Onion says:


  4. 4
    Anon says:

    If UKIP wanted to win they wouldn’t have chosen Roger Helmer.

  5. 5
    screwed mag says:


  6. 6
    albacore says:

    Forget about defeat, UKIP’s got de legs
    To wipe out Camerons, Milibands and Cleggs
    Stuck for another year with LibLabCon dregs
    Folks will have had their fill of real rotten eggs

  7. 7
    tlillis4 says:

    What’s depressing is the press will be focussing on the “has the UKIP peaked/Conservative in campaign mode” stories and missing the real meat here. As said elsewhere if Labour wants to form the next gov’t it needs to be making gains not becoming “the party formerly known as the Liberal Democrats”. As for the LibDems, they are well on the way from making the impressive move from going from a party of gov’t to extinction in one General Election. At this point “coupons” should not be off the table at Great GeorgeSt.

  8. 8
    Is Vince Cable Nosferatu? says:

    The REAL delight in all this is the fact that the fib dems have been shown up for what they are – a bunch of self-righteous, pervert hiding, oddballs – a pox on the lot of ‘em!

  9. 9
    Tachybaptus says:

    Has anyone ever thought of Labour as ‘the party formerly known as the Liberal Democrats’? Advise banging your head against the wall until these delusions subside.

  10. 10
    Tachybaptus says:

    Long ago, when I was a spotty teenager, there were only 6 Liberal MPs. But somehow they crept back. The party is an unflushable tυrd in the stinking lavatory that is Westminster.

  11. 11
    Face Stomping Chianti Socialists till I'm Knee Deep says:

    It really is a bad result for the Tories. Lead down by more than fifty percent in a safe seat despite a massive campaign which included four visits by the PM. Shocking actually……bonus is the lib dem result…..Great start to a Friday!

  12. 12
    Mandy says:

    Bliss !

  13. 13

    Odd. I always associate you people with self reliance.

  14. 14
    M­a­­q­b­o­­ul says:

    I see the strategy, outbreed the lefty scum.

  15. 15
    Nigel says:

    And I wouldn’t be in Malta chasing cougars.

  16. 16


    It’s in the name.

  17. 17
    Bob Glenrick says:

    Please ignore the overwhelming stench of pilchards.

  18. 18
    albacore says:

    Dave’s great mates, the LibDems with 2.6 per cent
    Keeping him P M – that emanates quite a scent
    Still, Parliament itself is so innately bent
    That’s hardly set to faze him to any extent

  19. 19

    “Tories Keep Newark” scream the headlines.

    Four years ago that sort of message would have been seen as unthinkable. Now it is looked upon as if it were a triumph.

    A Triumph Herald maybe…

  20. 20
  21. 21
    Conservative Future says:

    outbreathe not outbreed

  22. 22
    abandon all hope says:


    According to the left-wing media, taking a tiny party with hardly any resources from 4% to 26% and second place in Westminster election is some kind of failure!

    Meanwhile, aside from the the opposite happening to the Lib Dems- going from contenders at 20% to fag enders at 3% and being comprehensively destroyed as an electoral force, the beloved Labour party has self-evidently failed.

    Labour held Newark on 45% in 1997, and since then they’ve declined to 38%, then 34%, then 22%, and finally, last night dropped another 5% to 17%!… this is supposedly the government in waiting, the natural destination for voters looking to show their displeasure with the government.

    The headline should be something along the lines of – Labour pushed into 3rd by minor party, and lose 20% of their support in a by-election less than a year before the next general election.

    Labour is the party of failure. UKIP is the party of the working classes.

  23. 23
    abandon all hope says:

    the Tories and UKIP more or less matched their polling, but Labour is noticebly lower than polled… that indicates that people may have changed their mind at the last minute, and perhaps gone to the Independent or the greens if they didn’t want to vote Tory.

  24. 24
    abandon all hope says:

    it’s a worse result for Labour… even without coming 3rd place, they should be increasing their share a year from the general election in seat they held not long ago with 45%!

  25. 25
    Bill says:

    Newark made their feelings clear on Europe and Clegg?

  26. 26
    abandon all hope says:

    Not quite… the old rules are out… what it confirms though, is that Labour are set for failure.

    We’re in hung parliament territory again, but the question remains – how can the Lib Dems have any legitimacy to be candidates for sharing power again when they’ve been so comprehensively rejected by the electorate for the last 4 years, as well as at the next election?!

    If neither Labour nor Tories can form a legitimate coalition, whither next?
    Another election? A Labour-Tory coalition and change in the voting system?
    Proportional Representation? Compulsory voting?

    2015 could be a fascinating year for the evolution of politics in Britain – especially if UKIP disrupt the old order in the way they have here in Newark.

  27. 27
    Begone Cameron says:

    Is it safe for normal people to walk the streets of Newark again now ?

  28. 28
    The arrogant tit in no. 10 who thinks the message from the voters requires further interpretation says:

    You too can sail a car like this : http://bit.ly/1hirSeB

  29. 29
    Cynical, Me? says:

    I wouldn’t even rule out a Tory/Labour coalition at this stage. That would keep them all at the trough for a couple of decades.

  30. 30
    Felix says:

    It’s good to see the LibDems living up to their new name, LD = Lost Deposit,
    as they lose their deposit for the ninth time this parliament and finish sixth.
    If they were a cat, they’ve just got to the end of their ‘shelf life’.

  31. 31
    Handycock whipping it out says:

    I am joining UKIP and I like the strategy of outbreeding. Boaz.

  32. 32
    Socialism is theft says:

    Vote Tory, get Turkey.

  33. 33
    Bollocks O'Blarney, US President says:

    It is not in American interests for the Westminster cabal to be firebombed.

  34. 34
    Yours_No_Disgrace says:

    Most parties would settle for a 22% swing in their favour – bi election or no bi election.
    11 months is plenty of time for the Cons to step into puddles up to their middle, and for the immigrant turnstiles to continue to click 99,000 – 100,000 – 110,000 – 120,000 – 130,000, 140,000 – 160,000 – 170,000 – 180,000 – 190,000 ……… coming soon to a neighbourhood near You.

  35. 35
    Robert Generic says:

    Wish Dave had been honest with me about just how spineless the plebs are.

    I’ve wasted weeks of my life plodding round that northern sh*thole.

    Off to Westminster to get troughing now. Toodle pip.

  36. 36
    Anonymous says:

    I must admit that with Clegg’s party coming 6th behind the tree-huggers and someone no one had ever heard of, all is well with the world.

  37. 37
    Nick Clegg says:

    Look,overall it was a great result for the LibDems.We had Bus Pass Elvis as our main threat and we were 917 votes ahead of them.

    Onwards and upwards folks.

  38. 38
    Ukipped says:

    Our boy Helmer was useless and the bubble is burst

  39. 39
    non taxable pikey says:

    Midlands sh*thole.

  40. 40
    Voters of Newark says:

    Thats ok Robert. Glad to have helped you. See you next May.

  41. 41
    non taxable pikey says:

    The swings the thing, and this in a Tory stronghold too.

  42. 42
    Dick the Butcher says:

    Yellow Vipers thrashed – well done Newark.
    Fuck off Clegg; if you you really had any interest in democracy you would have supported the Tory plans for Parliamentary constituency boundary changes.

  43. 43
    Owen Jones says:

    Forget Farage, UKIP, people’s Army and those who want out of EU, today is about a real army – Allied Army – who liberated Europe.

  44. 44
    Socialism is theft says:

    I hope it won’t be long before these Tory voters have the scum of Europe living next door to them. You can be sure the Liblabcon elite will never have that problem.

  45. 45
    Socialism is theft says:

    Liberated Europe so we can be shackled again.

  46. 46
    Dick the Butcher says:

    And another thing….. saw the G7 leaders around a table and counted 9.
    Van Rompuy and that slug Barosso had slimed their way in. Wtf?

  47. 47
    ned ludd says:

    Ith all the sthupid voterth faulth, ithnt it, Axel. More bacon buttieth, pleath!

  48. 48
    Robert Generic says:

    Only dreadful proles in Newark. God it’s been awful.

  49. 49
    ned ludd says:

    It’s already feckin ere, pal. We just revel in the diversity, don’t we? Not.

  50. 50
    Dilligaff says:

    How much ££££ did that campaign cost Shapps/CCHQ? Figure of a quarter of a million has been bandied about. Multiply that by 650! They won’t be able to maintain that level of spend. And Dave is still no more trustworthy.

  51. 51
    Bishop, David Laurence - Bus-Pass Elvis Party says:

    We saw the beginnings of a political earthquake in Newark last night as the Bus Pass Elvis party polled a very respectable 37.

  52. 52
    ned ludd says:

    Lizards, not slugs.

  53. 53
    Taxi for Clegg says:

    Another fine performance. Waiting for the excuses.

  54. 54
    Guy News Room says:

    At least he’s honest.

    Roger HelmerMEP: “Ukip’s organisation on the ground, I’ll be quite honest with you, was not as good as Bus Pass Elvis”

  55. 55
    Here is BBC home service says:

    You get what you vote for, if that’s what Newark wants, they have it, no change , you don’t get a medal for coming second, at least Camorons Conservatives votes were cut down, that should scare them, 2015 Camoron you will be gone.

  56. 56
    Jean-Claude Juncker says:

    I have said many times, voting and democracy just create problems for us politicians. More secrecy, more suppression is the way forward.

    Where is this far flung outpost of the English? Why are they allowed to make decisions which could result in a politician losing their job?

    Much work to do when I am in charge.

  57. 57
    Mr Nobody says:

    The Tories have a habit of losing seats with much bigger majorities in mid-term by-elections so this must be a boost. Ukip just don’t have the votes to win in most of the seats they fight and this doesn’t bode well for them at the GE. Not even close here.

    Terrible result for Labour and the Lib Dems.

  58. 58
    Mr Nobody says:

    No, a good mid-term result for CMD. Ukip don’t have the votes to make that breakthrough and it doesn’t bode well for them at the GE.

  59. 59
    Nick Clegg, Cockroach-in-Chief, Pervs Я Us says:

    I prefer democracy EU-style – completely phony.

    And look, we beat Nick the Flying Brick by a milekilometer.

  60. 60
    Mr Nobody says:

    A few years ago it would have been unthinkable for the Tories to hold a seat in a mid-term by-election. It’s still unthinkable for Ukip to take one.

  61. 61
    duty pedant says:


  62. 62
    Southern Softie says:

    After every humiliation the dear old Lib Dems constantly repeat “We must work harder to get our message across”. They have made it very clear on where they stand on e.g the EU, immigration etc. That’s why they’re fucked!

  63. 63
    Southern Softie says:

    Yeah and Mr Snotty will be in No. 10. A vote for UKIP is a vote for Socialism and poverty.

  64. 64
    Genghiz the kahn says:

    Triumph TR7

  65. 65
    Bodger from Bucks says:

    15.46% swing Con to UKIP.

  66. 66
    Halal Pork Pie says:

    Haven’t the Tories and Labour been mooting a pact in Thurrock to keep out those horrid UKIP yobbos?

  67. 67
    Not in my name says:

    So, LimpDems hammered, Labour down, UK improve vastly, Tories win with reduced majority.

    As predicted.

  68. 68
    Here is BBC home service says:

    Ukip is not part of Camorons Conservatives it’s a separate political party, if you have complaints, complain to the people who will vote come what may to put Liebour in charge, a vote for Liebour= a vote for Liebour, even if it includes Socialism and poverty.

  69. 69
    Chris Bryant's man servant! says:

    Yes, this is more like it. We need results like this!

    Was amused to see the welsh runt Bryant on tv at 3am trying to paint this as some great Tory failure and a sign Ed Militant is headed for Number 10!

    Err, a real seat, real votes, a real opportunity to elect an MP, and the voters went for Mr Cameron’s lad!


  70. 70
    Bodger from Bucks says:

    If the % swing (15.46% swing Con to UKIP) is applied to other constituencies, there are going to be a lot of MP’s getting their brown trousers out ready for next year.

  71. 71
    They don't like it up em. says:

    In all bye elections now, UKIP has become the main opposition party. A remarkable achievement but missed upon by the MSM of all political colours.

  72. 72
    John Pienaar says:

    All in all a disastrous night for UKIP and the Conservatives while Labour will take strength from their performance.

  73. 73
    Axe The Telly Tax & Religion & Kill All Eco-loons says:

    The people put the LibLabConGreen wanker into Newark :-)

  74. 74
    Major Cockstand says:

    Comfortable win……I don’t think so bumsex Dave threw everything he could at Newark it won’t be the same next year in the general election. Lots of brown trousers from the Tories and Labour next year ……and the Lib Dems rightly consigned to the dustbin of history.

  75. 75
    Axe The Telly Tax & Religion & Kill All Eco-loons says:

    And the voters get to do it all over again in 11 months time.

    What fun and larks :-)

  76. 76
    Anna Soubry says:

    You are all racists.

  77. 77
    Baron His Majesty Lord Reith says:

    Ukip. Haha.

  78. 78
    Baron His Majesty Lord Reith says:

    I think you’re confusing the word “opposition” with “protest”.

  79. 79
    Amused of Newark! says:

    This has to be sarcasm. Labour were down 4 points. If they repeated their “performance” in a general election half their shadow cabinet and front bench would be charred toast!

    Another Chris Bryant triumph!

  80. 80
    Dave was well frit and right to be so. says:

    So what happened to the convention that a sitting Prime Minister never campaigns in a bye election?

  81. 81
    Weighing up the distance I can throw the lying little toad says:

    Clegg beleaguered. :-)

  82. 82
    Long John Silver' s parrot says:

    David Cameron is not a Leader.

    David Cameron has no vision.

    David Cameron was spat out by Vladamir Putin yesterday.

  83. 83
    Robert Generic says:

    Daves promised me a SPAD to do that for me now.

  84. 84
    Brian Blessed says:

    I am Blessed

  85. 85
    Cocky Dave says:

    Follow me lemmings! The Newark result proves that my immigration, deficit and bumsex policies will lead us to a glorious victory in 2015.

  86. 86
    Guy News Room says:

    Oh look, it’s Owen Jones, one of the most pretentious jerks in blogging and tweeting. I am serious. Read “Chavs” in which he more or less takes credit for inventing The Beatles and elevates himself to the position of Dylan, Elvis, Neil Young, Springsteen, etc. A total clown.

  87. 87
    Axe The Telly Tax & Religion & Kill All Eco-loons says:

    Hearse for Clegg and the Fib Dems :-)

  88. 88
    Prime Minister"Money's no object" Cameron says:

    Congrats Lib-Dems, for coming home in front of “The Official Monster Raving Loony Party” and “Bus-Pass Elvis Party!” Remarkable achievement!

  89. 89
    Koba says:

    The writing is on the wall, the old parties are doomed.

  90. 90
    Axe The Telly Tax & Religion & Kill All Eco-loons says:

    It looks like 3 party politics is here to stay with UKIP replacing the Fib Dems.

    It means in future hung Parliaments UKIP will hold the balance of power :-)

  91. 91
    Good Riddance to the Sandalistas says:

    Followed by cremation and oblivion.

  92. 92
    Timothy Farron says:

    It was a good night for us. We expected to come last but in the end the electorate put us before Bus Pass Elvis and the Monster Raving Loonies.

  93. 93
    Ghistem_Coulis_Ombato says:

    That is 25 of your Breetish cliicks in one Hour. My watch seems to be suffering from xenophobia.

  94. 94
    Toenails says:

    Newark by-election shocker: Nick Clegg’s Monster Raving Liberal’s poll more votes than Bus Pass Elvis; and still lose their deposit.

  95. 95
    Calamity Clegg, Chief Cockroach says:


  96. 96
    Nick Clegg says:

    Dear all, please accept this post as confirmation of my resignation as party leader, I am off to Europe. so fuck off the lot of you

  97. 97
    Robert Generic says:

    The people of Newark overwhelmingly voted for more mosques and bumsex.

  98. 98
    When the Cock crowed three times. says:

    So every Tory MP had to visit Newark thrice times over including their leader.They won’t be able to repeat that next year.

  99. 99
    More bumsex, less plastic bags says:

    R E S U L T !

  100. 100
    Axe The Telly Tax & Religion & Kill All Eco-loons says:

    Nick Clegg speaking to his remaining voter:

    I’m sorry, i’m so so sorry :-)

  101. 101
    Axe The Telly Tax & Religion & Kill All Eco-loons says:

    But if your bumsex partner is a right minger, and a 3 bagger, how are you going to manage without said plastic bags.

  102. 102
    Viperous Old Vince says:

    Goodbye, Cleggy.

  103. 103
    Axe The Telly Tax & Religion & Kill All Eco-loons says:

  104. 104
    Paddy Power says:

    The lying turd,Nick Clegg 9/4 not to lead Lib Dems into next General Election but 1/3 to do so. Tim Farron 6/4 to succeed him.VC 4/1.

  105. 105
    Socialism is theft says:

    I’m just wondering why a vote for the UKIP is a vote for Labour when most of the votes for UKIP came from the Lib Dems. Would the Tory fodder rather Labour had those votes than UKIP?

  106. 106
    Wake up & vote UKIP says:

    + many

  107. 107
  108. 108
    Will says:

    Don’t worry as so many of you hate dave and have an obsession about bumsex then I am sure that ed miliband will be ok for you then next year 5 years of ed and the rest of the crew I am sure that the recent job gains and economy will carry on under labour with price controls. It will be like back to the 70,s again, mind you I have stocked up on candles already for the event and ordering a new bike to get around in the event of public transport strikes

  109. 109
    Longinus says:

    It’s not mid-term, we’re entering pre-election phase. UKIP got 1 in 4 votes, all they have to do is prevent Tories winning in constituencies with smaller Tory majorities & CMD is finished. If the electorate think UKIP are serious candidates then all bets are off.

  110. 110
    Vladimir says:

    Rather a waste of a couple of minutes doing the photo op with that pathetic wimp Camercnut, but it did allow me to show the caring compassionate side of my nature.

    It’s a shame my man didn’t stick a stake through him afterwards though.

  111. 111
    Longinus says:

    liberated Europe from the National Socialists

  112. 112
    Casual Observer 2 says:

    What about the National Debt that fucking Dave has doubled?


  113. 113
    Socialism is theft says:

    But as UKIP took most of their votes from the Lib Dems then I assume you rather that they voted Labour thgan UKIP and made 100% sure of a Labour victory at the next election. Is that what you really want? Because many of these ex Lib Demmers will never vote Tory. Nor will many UKIPers. So stuff your quizling Tories who want to invite Turkey into the EU, as Dave has said.

    I hope Labour do win now. It is the only way that the Tory elite will come to their senses.

  114. 114
    More bumsex, less plastic bags says:

    I see your stock of punctuation has already run out.

  115. 115
    Victor Meldrew ( Ukip ) says:

    I don’t belieeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeve it !

  116. 116
    counting cretins says:

    So, what’s going to happen next year, when Tory High Command don’t have the dedicated resources to shoe-horn a single, Tory fatboy into a ‘safe seat? They’ll all be after saving their own skins.

  117. 117
    Robert Generic says:

    The EU puppet has landed.

  118. 118
    Southern Softie says:

    It will be worse than the 70s with overpopulation and the destruction of the English countryside to build homes for immigrants. 2 or 3 seats in the commons for UKIP (if they’re lucky) won’t help. Get real!

  119. 119
    David Cameron says:

    I plan to build on this result by scrapping the pound and changing the name of our country to EU region 16.

  120. 120
    D Dayers says:

    No doubt we will have to put up with that weak pathetic gutless tosser Camurcnut posing on TV today, trying to bask in reflected glory from us, while all the time the ConLibLabber is allowing the Fourth Reich to invade by stealth.

    Why did we bother, if little t(u)rds like him were going to get into “power”

  121. 121
    Fank Keefe says:


  122. 122
    Never did like Stukas says:

    Hi JC – how’s the old Jericho Trumpets?

  123. 123
    Banned says:

    I’m shocked that over 1000 people actually voted for them. Who on Earth votes Lib Dem any more?

  124. 124
    Revelling in the joys of bumsex says:

    Hear ! Hear !

  125. 125
    Seriously though says:

    It is baffling why the good burghers of Newark should vote for more bumsex, more immigrants, more HS2, more deficits, more debt, more cast iron promises, more personalised troughing, more criminals at large, more windmills, more grovelling to the EU and more self entitled public school twits and Slimey in charge etc.etc.

    Was it the wimmin wot dun it?

  126. 126
    Lord Bryant Of Bryant Village People says:

    Oh come on now to blame me for the result is deeply unfair. Everyone knows I’m not straight and I’ve onlyyever had bumsex with Tories!

    You are all vicious bastards!

    Ed should resign now and Twatsn must be the new Leader.

  127. 127
    Paddy Power says:

    That lying t(u)rd Nick Clegg 9/4 not to lead Lib Dems into next General Election but 1/3 to do so. Tim Farron 6/4 to succeed him.VC 4/1.

  128. 128
    D-day Veteran says:

    It was all in vain.

  129. 129
    M­a­­q­b­o­­ul says:

    Doesn’t make sense. UKIP will take more Tory voters than Labour which benefits Labour.

  130. 130
    Jippos-R-us says:

    Dear People of Newark,
    Thank you for voting for open borders. 20,000 BEEG EESHU sellers claiming in work benefits will be coming to your town in the next few days. See you soon!

  131. 131
    More bumsex, less plastic bags says:

    If a 60s winter hits our green and pleasant electricity supply it will be loads of fun.

  132. 132
    Nigel v the Goliaths. says:

    A remarkable achievement by UKIP in a Tory safe seat.

    Considering that all three main parties were targeting UKIP and not each other, the MSM of all political persuasions were attacking UKIP, the State broadcaster also joined the attack on UKIP and of course the EU joined in too.

    To take on this barrage of artillery fire and get the result they did, then what they have done is incredible.

  133. 133
    Anonymous says:

    It is a win but the implications are not comfortable for the conservatives considering the upsurge in ukip

  134. 134
    BBC News says:

    This is a terrible loss of votes for the Tories, and a terrible result for UKIP and the Lib Dems.

    But please note we are not mentioning that UKIP pushed Labour into a humiliating 3rd place. This was actually a triumph for Labour in a safe Tory seat.

  135. 135
    táxpáyér says:

    Labour third. Good result Jimmy?

  136. 136
    joolz says:

    Whatch the squirming start, all cons with a majority under 9% will be crapping themselves as Mr Farage has already said they will target certain seats and with this showing, 3% to 25% and the LibLieCons not going to be able to send every (taxpayer paid for) MP to every seat, looks like they are going to lose a good few seats.

    Lets say 20 seats to UKIP, Libour will lose the 41 Scittish MPs, LimpDems down to 2 (how i dont know) so it will be UKIP holding the “Who governs”

  137. 137
    Oven dodger says:

    We slipped in and wormed our way into positions of power whilst you were busy.

  138. 138
    táxpáyér says:

    You’re all oikophobes.

  139. 139
    The witless mong in Number 10 says:

    Why would anyone want to protest against my wonderful leadership? Good Lord, I’ve doubled Britain’s debt, increased immigration to record levels, increased our EU contributions to record levels, increased foreign aid to record levels (up 28% last year), and I’m bulldozing Britain to build homes for foreign shirkers.

    Protest against me? By jove, I’m wonderful!

    Right, I’m off to shut down press freedom, tap your phones, ban open trials and whitewash the Chilton Report. Tally ho!

  140. 140
    David Cameron says:

    The fact is 17431 Newarkers love bumsex.

  141. 141
    táxpáyér says:

    What are the postal vote details ?

  142. 142
    ConLibLabbers have fucked the U.K. says:

    Start with Witney. Don’t forget to shit on their doorsteps.

  143. 143
    Fank Keefe says:

    If paddy power is betting that Cameron and Millie wont be leading their parties into next years GE and the odds are good snap it up…..i dont think Ed Millipede and Dave (boy) Cameron will lead the Cons and Labour into next years GE if results like last night keep showing up…so theres a strong possibility that Ed and Dave might be out of a job next year and my advice is to learn to play the piano and sing and give Chas and Dave a run for their money.

  144. 144
    Newark so bad they didn't name it twice. says:

    Newark is seriously flat and boring with a gert fuck off council estate and a borstal, sits inside a triangle formed by the A46 and A1. Everyone goes by it no one goes into it, except for a bye election.

  145. 145

    Why leave out the Greens in your percentages in favour of the 5th place lib dems?

  146. 146
    Robert Generic says:

    I’m finished with Newark.

  147. 147
    Anonymous says:

    It would be interesting to know what the situation would be now if there was not a 5 year parliament,a lot more people would be voting in different ways

  148. 148
    Fact says:

    And the £10000 extra debt that you have incurred for each of them, and each of their children, during your 4 years as Prime Cnut

  149. 149
    Fritter Farage, The Junket King says:

    Can you hear us Mr Juncker?

  150. 150
    Hugh Grant says:

    If the papers had attacked me with the sort of lies they used on UKIP I would have been well Hacked Off. But as they are NOT socialist Luvvies they deserve everything the get from the press and I stand by its freedom to print anything it likes about UKIP as long as it is bad,

  151. 151
    The Real Population says:

    They won’t have any. Farage might win a seat because of the name – and if he does he’ll cross the floor and become a Conservative in some stitch up deal and that will be that.

  152. 152
    vote Labour says:

    At least they pay you generous benefits when letting the third world take your livelihoods.
    You can starve as far as the tories are concerned.

  153. 153
    Roger Helmer says:

    Newark’s finished with me

  154. 154
    Baron His Majesty Lord Reith says:

    Oh fuck off. It’s a terrible result for Ukip. Yet another by-election they’ve failed to win.

  155. 155
    Conners Whips Office says:

    Come here lad. Let us explain how naive posh boys like you have to behave in the Westminster Bumsex Palace.

  156. 156
    Cameron Is A CUNT says:

    Good to see the agent provocateur, cameron at the D-Day memorial in Bayeux. Not that he’s likely to start off any more wars or anything – he kills British people without formally declaring war on them. What a nasty, hypocritical, neo christian shithouse he is

  157. 157
    Anonymous says:

    The graphs just prove vote Labour or LD and get Tory.
    If instead of tribal loyalties people actually decided to remove the Tories and voted for the main contender they would have removed the smile from Cast Iron Dave

  158. 158
    Sue Denim says:


    Bye election if you are saying farewell.

    Bi-election if you are not fussy about your sexual party.

    I suppose either of those could be the case.

  159. 159
    The Real Population says:

    That writing on that there wall. So often proclaimed, so seldom evidenced.

  160. 160
    Nick Cloggs says:

    I’m finished.

  161. 161
    Anonymous says:

    The caste system in Asia is like slavery,Oh I know let’s call British people racists

  162. 162
    táxpáyér says:

    Blue brand establishment and red brand establishment collude?

    Cons and Lab are basically like buying washing powder, you get the same whatever brand you buy! Lib Brand is being withdrawn from sale.

  163. 163
    Dave Cameron and Emu says:

    Err No it’s not. It is a Tory safe seat that UKIP never expected to win. But to cone second from absolutely nowhere and humiliate Labour and of course the LibDems is quite remarkable.

    To say otherwise is like an Ostrich burying its head in the sand.

  164. 164
    bergen says:

    If this is Ed’s 35% strategy in action, it’s not going to take him to Downing Street.

    Labour are starting to look like the Tories did in the years post 1997- wandering around stunned and clueless.

  165. 165
    táxpáyér says:

    The police and prison service do, their jobs are totally secure now.

  166. 166
    táxpáyér says:

    People’s army are trying to stop a group forcefully “unifying” the european peoples.
    Not too different at all from the Allied armies.

  167. 167
    táxpáyér says:

    Rule 34

  168. 168
    Ed Miliband says:

    I never started.

  169. 169
    Anonymous says:

    You forgot the bloody great fixed pikey camp.

  170. 170
    The world to UKIP says:

    A good night UKIP Fucked despite all the UKIP trolling, Helmer the traitors face was a picture. Labour Fucked a ppor third a year before the GE, and we wont say what happened to the Lie Dums. Still Mr Farage can go back to carpet bagging a seat round the SE of England and we look forward to seeing him screwed next May. (and that wont be in Malta). ed no doubt trying to learn basic housekeeping and Clegg who is he again….

  171. 171
    BBC EDITOR says:

    Shall we do a feature on the caste system in Asia ,I know let’s call The British people rac it’s instead

  172. 172
    Anonymous says:


  173. 173
    Ande Soteri says:

    Nigel loves feeling a right tit. And a left one.

  174. 174
    táxpáyér says:

    A vote for labour is a wasted vote.

  175. 175
    Dave says:

    Vote Tory to, be governed by Brussels, have open borders, bulldoze the green belt and churchyards, have homosexual wedlock and a carrier bag tax.

  176. 176
    Lord Bagshite-Smythe says:

    Proving that David Cameroon is the right man for the job – now let him get on with sorting out europe.

  177. 177
    Prof Pat Pending says:

    That makes sense. The demographic analysis shows that UKIP are strongly supported by urban conservatives while core conservative votes come from countryside voters.

    So in Newark, the outlying conservative vote held up while town votes dropped. This is also bad news for the lib dems as urban conservatives did vote for them as an alternative to labour.

    So more street-to-street and house-to-house fighting in the urban areas.

  178. 178
    The witless mong in Number 10 says:

    The carrier bag tax is frightfully important. It stops whales from drowning, and allows me to fund India’s space programme.

  179. 179
    Mark Oaten (Lib Dem) says:

    Did someone say Turd?


  180. 180
    Angela Merkelhitler says:

    You Island Apes will have the EU you are given! Schweinhunds!

    Ich liebe Jean-Claud. Eat shit, Englanders!

    Mwa-ha ah ha ha ha haaaa!

    Heil ME!

  181. 181
    CHRIST ON A BIKE! says:

    So despite UKRAP riding their recent euro election win, and Newark being a mostly conservative minded area with a fair chunk of angry wh1te working class types, and the Conservatives being in government, UKRAP are still 19% behind? What an earthquake Nigel!,

    polling once again underestimated conservative support and over estimated Labour’s. For Labour to have dropped 5%, whilst being in opposition, is a terrible performance.

  182. 182
    Buspass Elvi says:

    Wot ‘appened to moi landslide viktory?

  183. 183
    HenryV says:

    I just wonder how much of that UKIP vote would transfer to the Tories if the latter went full bore on an EU exit. If the majority of that UKIP vote would move all it says to me s that perhaps we have passed the apogee of the socialist tide that we have been suffering one way or another since 1968.

  184. 184
    Ed Fatliner says:

    You’ll find that the Broadcasting Arm of the Liebour Party won’t mention their performance in case they upset the retardED!!

  185. 185

    bumsex dave loves the third world Hunts so much Bomb Newark with the next wave due in tick tock tick tock……..

  186. 186
    Roger Helmonaise says:

    Anyone got the times of eurostar?

  187. 187
    Cameron's squeeky bum says:

    Remind us again how many votes the Tories gained..

  188. 188
    Spartacus says:

    dont feed the troll

  189. 189
    The witless mong in Number 10 says:

    As I have said, there are no circumstances under which I would take Britain out of the EU.

  190. 190
    The BBC says:

    Thank you for agreeing with the thrust of our news output until the next election when postal votes and ‘helpful’ advice at polling stations and counts will help Labour regain their rightful place.

    REJOICE and thank you for your license money comrade!

  191. 191
    BBC Spokesman says:

    . . . And UKIP were the only Party to lose their Deposit

    And now, what happens when you leave you children unattended . . .

  192. 192
    Victor Meldrew ( Ukip ) says:

  193. 193
    Counting cretins says:

    Dan Hodges.

  194. 194
    Rogered Helmet says:

    Can I have my MEP ‘job’ back now ?

  195. 195
    Robert Jenrick says:

    I said to my doctor, I keeping thinking I’m a pair of curtains. And the doctor said, “For heavens sake man pull yourself together”.

  196. 196
    William Hague says:

    As I said on the TV last Week. Prime Minister David Cameron and I at the time of the referendum will campaign for the United Kingdom to remain in the European Union,

  197. 197
    Where are Tony Blair's Expenses says:

    The Tories can’t win in 2015 as
    1. No boundary changes
    2. Corruption within the Postal voting system not resolved
    3. UKIP trending at ~ 15% in the polls; they cost the Tories 20 seats in 2010 with 3% of the vote.
    4. Pilgrims still in position actively campaigning against the Government of the day using taxpayers money
    5. Union education fund is still in place
    6. Cameron’s appalling judgement in appointing Andy Coulson
    7. No TU reform allowing Crow and his mob hold us to ransom
    8. Tory constituency parties are disintegrating in protest at Cameron’s liberal policies
    9. The Tories will lose 7/8 seats along the route of HS2 to single issue candidates
    10. The Tories will lose one seat in Portsmouth due to shipbuilding being concentrated in Scotland
    11. No control of mass immigration
    12. Public spending still out of control and the national debt rising on a daily basis
    13. Human Rights Act still in place
    14. No referendum on Europe
    15. State control of the press introduced
    16. Cameron wanted to take us to war in Syria
    17. Gay Marriage
    18. The BBC is left wing and will act as Labour’s main election campaigner in 2015
    19. QE is destroying any savings people may have
    20. Cameron’s continued, unsubstantiated, support for Climate Change and general green issues.
    21. No promised Bonfire of the Quangos or reduction in Red Tape for businesses. Even worse he has left all the labour placemen who head these quangos in place.
    22. Cameron’s pathetic support for Yeo and Miller. More evidence of his lack of judgement.
    23. He gave Anna Soubry a job
    24. Cameron/Osbourne did not reverse the Brown/Balls pension reforms as promised and thus continued the retirement misery for many
    25. Introduced £9k p.a. tuition fees resulting in students leaving university with debts most will never be able to afford to pay back
    26. Is planning to introduce the child abuse crime of mental anguish when our authorities are incapable of protecting vulnerable children from physical abuse.
    27. Has made no attempt to defend Christianity against an onslaught from the liberal left.

  198. 198
    Cupid says:

    Yep Beeb ignoring this one lol.

  199. 199
    BBC Spokesman says:

    . . . self interested drone controlling black man from overseas comes to Europe to give unelected politicians advice on Freedom . . .

    And now, what happens when you leave you children unattended . . .

  200. 200
    davemcwish says:

    That’s the line the loons on CiF are taking this morning. They are also defending the Labour result as their supporters in the constituency voted Tory to keep out UKIP…

  201. 201
    Banned says:

    Do the votes of people who are older not count? Are we not citizens with as much right as the ‘kidz’? I turned 43 yesterday (too late to wish me happy birthday) and I vote UKIP – but that is because I have seen the change over the last 30 years and how the system is even more corrupted in recent years.

  202. 202
    Dave's Fail says:

    Tory majority cut from 16,152 to just 7,403.


  203. 203
    Anonymous says:

    UK gutter press ,Heaven Forbid, Shock Horror, Nigel Farage likes women.

    He’s not an homosexual, pervert, or kiddie fiddler. Will he fit in at Westminster when he gets elected next year?

  204. 204
    The world to UKIP says:

    Over 7000 more than the allowance screwer Helmer, clearly making the ukrapers angry this morning. Added bounus, Farage said Tories would only win by 3000 well it was more than double that and the majority is bigger than the labour vote. Even better.

  205. 205
    Idon'tneednodoctor says:

    I never had you down as a bad loser Cat.

  206. 206
    The Growler says:

    Socialism is theft, very good. In spite of the spin Geedes puts on it if in the GE some of their seats will roll if if that result was reflected with losing 10,000 votes. The Conners were frit throwing all their big guns in and prospective candidates told to attend or else, I bet they ran short of toilet paper in CCHQ yesterday or did they get extra in, if UKip can cause all that upset in Grantham, what will they be able to do in the GE, CCHQ cannnot bring out the big guns to every constituency then.

  207. 207
    Steve Miliband says:

    Did anyone breathalyse Farage after he drove that Smart car?

  208. 208
    Idon'tneednodoctor says:

    How true. Labour are the real losers in this by-election. If labour are supposed to be the party of opposition, then why didn’t they at least beat UKIP?
    Bryant just spouts the same old labour rubbish.

  209. 209
    Every picture tells a lie says:

    Do have a look at Montgomerie’s pic to see the masses of under 45’s who voted Labour, Lib Dem and Conservative.

  210. 210
    Anonymous says:

    UKIP don’t need to win seats – they just have to fuck up the Tories enough to decapitate Dave and his acolytes. Job done !

  211. 211
    Islamingham says:

    We see no resulting for us, peopling power in UK must be moo-slim. Ally mars bar.

  212. 212
    Idon'tneednodoctor says:

    Nigel Farage should stand against Ed Balls in the 2015 election. Now that would be a result for UKIP!

  213. 213
    Shooty* says:

    BBC R4 doing a fantastic job of painting this as a disaster for Conservatives this morning. Osborne (I think it was him) responded very well.

    Loving the constant references to “beating our primary rivals, Labour”.

    For which read: “If we ignore UKIP long enough, they’ll go away”.

  214. 214
    Sir Nob Skelpoff says:

    Cheer up, wee message to all of you all courtesy of the Rolling Stones:

    Sometimes, you get what you need….

  215. 215
    Idon'tneednodoctor says:

    I walked into a bar and went uhhh. It was an iron bar.
    Yours and mine courtesy of Tommy Cooper.

  216. 216
    M­a­­q­b­o­­ul says:

    UK Demographics favour UKIP. An ageing population and of course older people tend to be more likely to vote.

    Radio 2 is a damn site more popular than Radio 1.

  217. 217
    Cupid says:

    Why don’t you change BBC news colours from red to purple?

  218. 218
    Bert says:

    British politics today …

  219. 219
    Idon'tneednodoctor says:

    Labour already have a leader, it’s Len McCluskey.

  220. 220
    FarmerGiles says:

    May be those younger could get off their ass and vote they could change the result.

  221. 221
    Idon'tneednodoctor says:

    So many bad loser comments.

  222. 222
    The Growler says:

    If the Conners manage to lose 10000 votes in each constituency they will be toast and the Master will be very angry with his underlings and heads will start falling or at leat contracts to write for his rags.

  223. 223
    Nel Hamilton, UKIP spokesman says:

    Or Doncaster?

  224. 224
    Jacob fan says:

    You are Jacob RM and I claim my bowl of clam chowder.

    Liebour have serious problems now. If the majority of the LD vote went there and they still lost share they must be down 20%+.

    Ps Ed, with bacon the bread should thin not like you had, if you can’t get that right you are below the ex PM of Luxembourg.

  225. 225
    Sir Nob Skelpoff says:

    “they threw everything at the campaign”: and he’ll be keeping the skidmarked Y-fronts.

  226. 226
    The Growler says:

    “Vote Blue go Pink x “, you sound like a nice boy

  227. 227
    Duty Pedant says:

    Oh do fuck off you bum bandit !

  228. 228
    Stone me says:

    I do wish certain posters here would lose their gay obsession with bumsex. Dave’s dalliance with bumsex means little in the grand scheme of things. In fact, if other strands of Dave’s (and Labour’s) policies continue, bumsex will be illegal in this country circa 2050 and punishable by stoning. Which would you rather – repeal of gay marriage or control of our borders?

  229. 229
    The British media are cunts says:

    If I were a Tory I’d be shitting bricks after last night. UKIP took a massive chunk of their vote despite the Tories hammering away on this site for weeks.

    Tory seats with much smaller majorities, especially ones where the Limp Dims were seconds last time should be be very very very worried.

  230. 230
    Revelling in the joys of bumsex says:

    Hear ! Hear !

  231. 231
    tigerowl says:

    Goes to show that UKIP too are treated as just like the rest. Like the Euro elections, people just did not bother turning up to vote. Come 2015 it will be business as usual. The Lib Dems always won their bye elections against unpopular governments. UKIP failed.

  232. 232
    The British media are cunts says:

    The people MOST likely to vote ARE over 45 you Tory mong.

  233. 233
    CHRIST ON A BIKE! says:

    Some very bitter people on here, many of which, I suspect are Labour trolls.

  234. 234
    Sir Nob Skelpoff says:

    How is it being spun as a failure? It’s a 30% swing to Ukip from the Cast Iron Bum Sexers. Would this not be enough to wipe them out? Especially considering the defence of the other seats at the GE will be sparse in comparison? Loober is trounced and the Liberally Dumbs are gubbed. That’s a RESULT.

  235. 235
    Bloomers says:

    Roger is nobody’s idea of a future UK unless you’re at least ninety and from the Shires. So, let’s face it…..a bloody good showing.

    I could have done more and at least ensured clean rear fridge areas.

  236. 236
    Fenton says:

    They’ve probably got more policies than UKIP.

  237. 237
    BBC Spokesman says:

    Vince Cable, the Government minister for taxation, will be 83 years old tomorrow and we all wish him well leading the newly formed ”NEW Liberal Democrat” party.
    As leader Mr Cable promises to increase taxes and wants more EU integration.

    And now what happens when you leave your children unattended . . . .

  238. 238
    Anna souflee says:

    Oh fuck!

  239. 239
    RWG says:

    According to Ed Balls, that’s more than halfety!

  240. 240
    Anonymous says:

    I can confirm that 42% of Newark voters are fuckwits and want more of the same old shit.

  241. 241
    Anonymous says:

    If you’re a countryside conservative, you’re less likely to have felt the full enrichment of mass immigration yet, hence why they may still be sticking with Dave.

  242. 242
    Yawns and Looks Out of Window says:

    dont feed the troll

  243. 243
    RWG says:

    There are large felines in Malta?

  244. 244
    Sir Nob Skelpoff says:

    Once Sharia is in place, we’ll see how many Bum O’Sexuals want to marry.

  245. 245
    Mustafa Tightarse says:

    Look here smart Alec…the border starts at my arse.

    No one’s getting in.

  246. 246
    Don't Feed the Troll says:

    you suspect ?

  247. 247
    Revelling in the joys of bumsex says:

    Anyway, I’ve got that off my chest now.

  248. 248
    Ed Baconband says:

    Yes Dougie now get tae fuk to scotch land and save the Union. Surely you can’t Fukscot that up.

  249. 249
    Dogsled says:

    Funnily enough on the way into work this morning I was listening to the Conservative chairman on 5 Live whose interview about last nights events was very quickly de-railed by the young lady presenter to an interrogation about the Gove/May “war” and the “aren’t some of the cabinet no longer on speaking terms?”
    Surprisingly when he managed to bring the conversation back to how badly the Labour Party had done (first time for ages that the Conservatives had won a by-election while in power, first time for ages that the governments opposition had not won a by-election from any party.) the interview was rapidly brought to end with the comment from the clearly unbiased BBC employee that “You should be more worried about UKIP,”

    Not really unexpected but still disgraceful. What the hell as the Gove/May spat got to do with the election in Newark? If it was their MP maybe but in the bigger picture just an attempt by a clearly biased media to divert attention away from another cock up for Beaker.

    Still at least he can look on the bright side, he maybe a muppet but at least he isn’t Clegg-nut.

  250. 250
    Ed Miliband says:

    Be afraid! Be very afraid!

  251. 251
    Don't Feed the Troll says:

    At least ninety?

    . . . like having fought for you country you mean?

    Just how many immigrants would today? (Britain I mean)

  252. 252
    Bert says:

    That would be from Harriet Harm-men.

  253. 253
    Joe CUMMINS says:

    Nothing new there then!

  254. 254
    Neil Hamilton, UKIP spokesman says:

    The British Press having been smearing UKIP again. They arrange a so called 5 star junket in Malta with a nice little earner for Nige. Then then ply him with pints of beer and jugs of claret and make him stay up late chatting up birds in a nightclub!! What audacity!In the middle of a by election!

  255. 255
    Vote UKIP says:

    Where I come from, we say that the old tory majority was massacred by over 54%.

  256. 256
    Genghiz the kahn says:
  257. 257
    Anonymous says:


  258. 258
    Bert says:

    It’s not general. Hereabouts (East Anglia) the hedgerows were plastered with UKIP boards for the Euros. Local farmers, amazingly really, want shot of the CAP.

  259. 259
    Anonymous says:

    Or he could be like the lonesome Enoch.

  260. 260
    Norma Stitz says:

    Fuck off Montgomerie. People over 45 have accumulated more life experience, paid more taxes, contributed more to the economy and seen more political fuckwits screwing things up than the kids. Our judgement is worth more accordingly so you can damn well give it some respect.

  261. 261
    Anonymous says:

    Yours is yet another.

  262. 262
    The two muppets . says:

    Most people that I know including members of my Conservative Club
    voted UKIP in the European elections but most say that they will revert
    back to the Conservatives for 2015 . Just saying .

  263. 263
    cheche says:


    Why is sky giving us a transmission for the USA> Had to turn to the BBC

  264. 264
    Cameron Is A CUNT so is O'BAMA says:

    Fucking O’Bama going on about how America and her allies won the war – special nature of D-Day to be remembered for ever BUT not stop him and his allies from killing whoever they want – bastards and hypocrites the lot of them

  265. 265
    Barco O'Bummer says:

    My fellow Americans Newarkians, I congratulate you on your decision to vote NO to freedom.

    I urge my fellow Scottians to do the same.

  266. 266
    Dave says:

    Roger was the quintessential Conservative MP until he left us for UKIP. Now he is the Devil’s spawn

  267. 267
    Barco O'Bummer says:

    Freedom is, like, so 1970s. Dig?

  268. 268
    Vince"The Cheeky Chappie" Cable says:

    I guess any chances of an electoral pact between the Lib Dems & the Bus Pass Elvis party are now off the cards. Shame

  269. 269
    CHRIST ON A BIKE! says:

    Labour’s media friends have been covering up their electoral failings since they have been in opposition. Historically, Labour’s perfornance has been on a par with Foot and Kinnock in the 80’s. Hardly a precursur to a GE victory.

    Dropping 5% in a high profile by-election is terrible for the main opposition party.

  270. 270
    Barry hates the Old world says:

    Obama is a Kenyan communist.

  271. 271
    The two muppets . says:

    If this was a bad result for the Tories , then I hope that we get a few more of them.

  272. 272
    bumsex says:


  273. 273
    Lord Ashcroft says:

    God, I’m so good at this.

    The survey, by Lord Ashcroft, puts the Tories on 42 per cent, 15 points ahead of second-placed Ukip on 27 per cent, with Labour trailing in third on 20 per cent.

  274. 274
    Rick, the people's poet says:

    Yeah! The kidz don’t bote ukip.
    the kidz don’t vote at all!
    that’s well square daddy-o
    vote Cliff not UKIP!

  275. 275
    Sir Nob Skelpoff says:

    Ah, yes from the rare old tradition of bacon striping…

  276. 276
    annoyed user says:

    Or it makes everyone take the even less biodegradable “bags for life”

  277. 277
    No trolls needed when one-term Dave is in no. 10 says:

    Vote bumsex, get bumsex

  278. 278
    Anonymous says:

    And that bread was toasted. WTF has toasted bacon sarnies? His brother doesn’t know what to do with a banana, Ed doesn’t know what to do with beer or sandwiches. They don’t actually eat human food, the pair of ‘em.

  279. 279
    it's true says:

    Tory majority slashed by 54% in one of its safest seats.

  280. 280
    RWG says:

    Less than a year to go, and it’s “mid-term”?

    You are Ed Balls and I claim my fivety pounds!

  281. 281
    G. Brown says:

    The tories gained -54% of their previous result.

  282. 282
    One-term bumsexer says:

    7,403 down from 16,152

    That’s a reduction of over 54%.

    We are already planning the first mosque for Newark.

  283. 283
    Ally At Bar says:

    When can we start building the mosque, in’s’allah?

  284. 284
    Tories under Dave says:

    “bi” election? That sounds bumsexy!

  285. 285
    Alliance Party, NI says:

    Please ensure you associate us with the Lib Dems

  286. 286
    Jean-Claude Juncker says:

    Your name is on the list…. free speech is a curse which I will lift once I am rightfully recognised as the only candidate for el presidente

  287. 287
    Bus Pass Elvis says:

    I’m all shook up.

  288. 288
    cynic says:

    They consume human hopes and live at the expense of the public. Parasites.

  289. 289
    Persona non grata says:

    Cons could only win reasonably comfortably with Labour support. What the Newark result proved, is that David Blair will not be PM in 2015. At least not without Labour support.

    How soon will the next pathetic plea for a pact, from a Con like Redwood, Carswell, emerge. Watched a comedy drama called Trying again last night on Sky 1. That had three unflattering references to Nigel Farage in it. Pathetic.

  290. 290
    RWG says:

    For a moment, I thought that was rhyming slang..

  291. 291
    Valeria Victrix says:

    How is that dopey strangey thing going for you?

  292. 292
    Pie Thagorus says:

    Where I come from, we agree 100% with Mr vote UKIP.
    In 2010, Mercer polled 27,590 for the Conservatives. The party in second place was Labour with 11,438 votes. That is a lead of 16,152.
    On Thursday the Conservatives polled 17,431 with UKIP second on 10,028. A lead of 7403.
    The Conservatives lead has dropped by 16,152 – 7403 = 8749.
    A reduction of 54%.

  293. 293
    Valeria Victrix says:

    Rural Tories dread Labour getting back in. They know Nigel can’t win a GE, and even Dave is preferable to Ed, Ed and Harriet.

  294. 294
    Orson Cart says:

    And a very comfortable swing to UKIP Gee-Doh in what was always a solid Tory seat, though somewhat less solid now methinks – We are STILL looking toward 30% UKIP support for ANY election.

  295. 295
  296. 296
    Valeria Victrix says:

    What a relief millions of hostile aliens intent on forcing us to change our way of life and accept their ideology no longer have to wage war on us at enormous cost to themselves and us.

    They can simply migrate here instead, at enormous cost just to us.

  297. 297
    ThisPlaceIsJustAnotherMurdochMouthPiece says:

    Meaningless result, in a GE UKIP are toast.

    They have minimal ground game and nothing resembling nationwide infrastructure, they’ll be utterly out campaigned but may do a pretty good job of ensuring the Tories aren’t the largest single party, leading the way for a Labour Lib Dem coalition and all the EU lovefest that will accompany it.

    At least Nigel’s had his jollies though, he’s minted and likely will have a happy time in the Lords in his dotage, having moved from one trough to another.

    Will be a lot of apoplectic Kippers in the coming couple of years once they realise just how futile all their spleen venting has been. Lefties will be chortling though.

  298. 298
    Mycroft says:

    Not a win, but a moral victory.

    Reality check:- The Cons lost 10% of their support despite the mobilisation of the entire party force.

    Some figures, for fun.

    They’ll need 350 seats.

    They have, perhaps 50 safe ones, so they would need to do all they did in Newark 300 times over to get a Majority.

    That means in the last month of the 2015 campaign Cameron would have to make 1200 visits to these constituencies.

    The MPs would have to visit twice these 300 seats, so 300 x 300 x 2 = 180,000 occasions when MPs criss-crossed the Country in that last month too.

    Then feet on the ground, THAT STAY… 1000 x 300 = 300,000 youngish supporters, that’s a lot of curry and sex.

    That might get them 300 seats… so we can kill that as a possibility because they couldn’t hold that level even in their wildest dreams.

    But UKIP increased their support by 22% and came second, with a short run-up with serious intent with a vehicle that can not be described as a well oiled machine.

    That is not only repeatable but can be improved upon.

    The really dangerous and disruptive Earthquakes occur deep down, this Political Earthquake hasn’t reached the surface, the Cons blew some of the steam off but the main thrust is immutable.

    The Cons with intelligence (the few) will be cacking themselves.

  299. 299
    Anonymous says:

    Hey – The Two Muppets – most of the people I know voted Green – we hang out with people we agree with – hold the front page!

  300. 300
    Murray Walker says:

    Triumph Dolomite (catamite?) with Cyril Smith in (on) it!


    Keep voting UKIP – Li/La/Co are on the way out.

  301. 301

    this is a copy and paste list and at least some of it was written in March or earlier.

  302. 302
    Great Granddad says:

    It’s not just a matter of protest, more importantly it is a matter of momentum. If UKIP could continue with the current momentum it would not simply gets seats in 2015, it would undoubtedly form the government! It doesn’t have the infrastructure to continue the current acceleration but it does have the momentum to ensure at least fifty seats next year. (I’m not very good at politics but I am very good with moving numbers).

  303. 303
    Sherlock says:

    Good analysis, Mycroft my bro.

    Vote UKIP, Watson.

  304. 304

    Result of next election?

    Tory Gain
    Labour Loss
    LibDem lost deposit

  305. 305
    Mycroft says:

    You’re welcome little brother.

  306. 306
    Mycroft says:

    Additionally, the cost of the respective campaigns has to be accounted.

    The Cons must have expended a fortune, just accounting for the 1000 ‘young bucks’ on curry, booze and condoms/morning after pills alone the costs must have been staggering.

    Any campaign on this scale in perhaps 100 seats would bankrupt them.

    The reality is that this was a ‘show’ election for both main parties in the running, both threw all they could but one was hugely out-gunned and still the Cons walked away with a reduced majority.

    Saying that, I doubt the Cons would have lost if they had run a normal BE campaign, but that is not as good news as it seems precisely because of the ‘show’ type election it was.

  307. 307
    tallbloke says:

    Farage: “I aim to destroy the conservative party. Look what happened in Canada”

  308. 308
    The Growler says:

    By that I assume you include the Master and his rags, there can be too much negative propaganda is sometimes more harmful than positive propaganda

  309. 309
    The Growler says:

    Theresa isn’t there is she?

  310. 310
    Biffo says:

    Not that good for the Tory boys either – I sniggered on reading Grant Shapps in one of the papers claiming that Ukip had suffered badly – it was the end of Ukip & Tory boys had scored a fantastic success. Winning with your lead down by over 50% – big success? Ukip vote share up from 4% to 25% – failure? I think young Master Shapps must have flunked his maths badly in his school days. And I have to say that the winning Tory seemed a nice man but he’s a ‘mini me’ Camoron – rich & out of touch with the ordinary voters. Dave Nice but Dim (no, not even ‘Nice’) really hasn’t a clue.

  311. 311
    The Growler says:

    Nige, now he built his party up is now going to be selective with candidates so there are not any strange folks in the front lineup, Dave, Mili and Cleggie(?) had better watch out, he has left it a bit late but he has now seen the ones who go off at a tangent.

  312. 312
    Mycroft says:

    I believe that there is some ‘concern’ about the cost of the Cons campaign, rumour is they may have over-spent. The limit appears to be around £47,000 in Newark and estimates are hard to come by, but £100,000 appears to have been spent.

    Today I have written to the electoral commission to ask for this to be checked and will keep O-O informed as to progress.

    My figures are all my ‘take’ but are based on this:-

    Short campaign
    £7,150 + 5p/7p per elector in a
    borough/county constituency.

    From the EC.

    Short campaign, 80,000 registered 5p per voter plus the £7k

    The £100,000k is a guestimate based on the offices, numbers and visits, because they were ‘whipped’ all the con MPs will have to submit costs in full so it will take a long time to get all of it together.

    I’m just making mischief really, but that’s me all over, a member of the awkward squad, founding member actually!

  313. 313
    Anonymong says:

    Hahahaha. Is that the best you’ve got?

    Shouldn’t you be revising for your GCSEs?

  314. 314

    I never had you down as a Tory,

  315. 315
    Anonymous says:

    It’s full spin ahead this morning across all media with the meme that this was somehow a bad result for UKIP. What is remarkable is the fact that in the last days of the campaign there was a real, credible possibility being mooted that UKIP could actually win the seat. This is now being used to play down the fact that they made a huge impact on the Conservative majority in one of the safest of safe seats.

  316. 316
    broderickcrawford says:

    You used to look a bit like Brian Bkessed does now …..Brian
    ( both Brians see …..)

  317. 317
    Biffo says:

    Next year they’ll be running round like headless chickens visiting their own constituencies – no time to go visit anyone else’s.

  318. 318
    Bob cuntface Crow says:

    Farage could be shafting Maddie McCann and I would still vote for him over Cameron ,Milliband or whotsisname.

  319. 319
    Alexsandr says:

    whats wrong with a bacon butty made with buttered toast and HP sauce?

  320. 320
    Alexsandr says:

    brummie expression :- ‘Yow caint polish a turd’

  321. 321
    Me says:

    Ed “The Wrong” as he is known locally seems to be struggling.

    Ed “the Wrong” (…Milliband — gedditt?)

  322. 322
    Paul Baggaley says:

    Wot about me?

Seen Elsewhere

100 Tories to Rebel on Plain Packs | Telegraph
May 2015 and the Art of Political Betting | MAY2015
Fate of Eurozone Rests in Hands of Videogame Expert | TechnoGuido
UKIP After Farage | Asa Bennett
Eichmann Called on Arabs to Continue War on Jews | Speccie
Mirror Hacking: 50 Legal Action Claims | Press Gazette
Mandy’s £400,000 Tax-Free Loan From Own Company | Guardian
Why We Must Remember the Holocaust | Hugo Rifkind
“Adjustments” Not Cuts | Gary Gibbon
The New Puritans | Alex Wickham
British Minister in Watch Gaffe | Straits Times

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