June 5th, 2014

More Want to Leave the EU Than Stay In

President Obama is in Brussels with Dave to tell us how he thinks the British people should be voting. He says Scots should vote no to freedom and that Britain should stay in the EU, haughtily remarking: “I’m sure the people of Britain will make the right decision”. Unfortunately for the President an ITV/ComRes poll out today shows more Britons want to leave the EU than stay in. 42% would vote to leave if there was a referendum tomorrow and just 40% would vote to stay. Sadly Obama didn’t give us his verdict on whether the people of Newark should go for Robert Jenrick or Roger Helmer today…


  1. 1
    Nigel Farage says:

    I’m not laughing my tits off here, honestly, I’m not.

  2. 2
    still walking into darkness says:

    What’s the percentage that want to stay in if you remove the EU migrants in the UK from this poll?

  3. 3
    Anonymous says:

    That’s a barchart worth of the Lib Dems…..

  4. 4
    Fritter Farage, The Junket King says:

    After the count in Newark Helmer will be sent into Maltese exile by Farage.

  5. 5
    C.O.Jones says:

    Not sure how they vote on this issue, do they view the EU workforce as competition. Indian friend of mine says he is voting UKIP.

  6. 6
    Vote Tory for unlimited immigration says:

    If the USA thinks being in the EU is so great, why doesn’t it offer to take our place?

    Will it at least pay our £22billion annual membership fee?

  7. 7
    Antipo-dean says:

    Beat me to this.

  8. 8
    Anonymous says:

    Oh look, a 2 percentage-point difference made to look MUCH greater by setting the start of the Y-axis to non-zero.

    Such a dishonest approach to the use of graphs.

  9. 9
    Ande Soteri says:

    Your in Malta doing mine

  10. 10

    Blue for outs, Yellow for ins. Very subliminal

  11. 11
    Roger Helmer says:


  12. 12
    tabloid crook says:

    it is Guidoisation don’t you know!

  13. 13
    Anonymous says:

    What an impertinent Gibson’s dog the man is. What a pity he only got elected because of his colour.

  14. 14
    Black father+white mother=black child? RACIST! says:

    Speaking of dishonesty, has anyone noticed how America’s first black president isn’t actually black?

  15. 15
    F##k the LibLabCon says:

    Shouldn’t it be blue for in yellow for in and red for in?

  16. 16
    F##k the LibLabCon says:

    I’d noticed that too but I guess it keeps the idiots happy so what the hell.

  17. 17
    Roland Deschain says:

    I’d give you a ‘like’ for that, but buggered if I’m going to create a WordPress account just to do so.

  18. 18
    Homeless Robot says:

    Obama doesn’t need the ITV/ComRes poll, he conducts the NSA/GCHQ poll with a lot more accuracy and nude pictures for when he gets bored.

  19. 19
    Fred says:

    At least in the USA they vote for their President, and they don’t have to have a second ballot if they get it wrong.

  20. 20
    Roger says:

    What a very good question.

  21. 21
    grammar twat says:

    It’s you’re Ande. You’re. As in you are. Not your. You’re. You’re. You’re.

  22. 22
    F##k the LibLabCon says:

    Any news from Newark? Any stories of ukippers wondering around the place raping children and eating babies yet?

  23. 23
    táxpáyér says:

    Give him a break, he might be Maltese, they had to cope with a marxist government for years, and the inevitable economic collapse.

  24. 24
    Justin Beiber hate my Marmalade says:

    we’re in eu-slave-ia until it turns into 90s Yugoslavia

  25. 25
    Anonymous says:

    How come O’Bumma has not been arrested for murder by drone?

  26. 26
    Bishop, David Laurence - Bus-Pass Elvis Party says:

    Clegg is telling deliberate, cynical lies about wrecking recall. Will the MSM pick him up on it, or are his lies no longer newsworthy?

  27. 27
    Barry the driver says:

    I just hit the same road block but +1 on the sentiment

  28. 28
    Bert says:

    Barry can get to fuck. He’s causing enough problems in his (adopted) country, thanks very much.

  29. 29
    Graham says:

    We don’t need any advice from a Muslim President of America.

  30. 30
    táxpáyér says:

    The left uses the just one drop rule.

  31. 31
    Cameron's Black Ops says:

    Come on chaps, you’re overusing the word “junket”.

    No one normal uses it.

    If you want to be paid on time as usual, you must do better than this.

  32. 32
    táxpáyér says:

    I don’t know. It’s said that even the dead are allowed to vote in detroit and chicago.

  33. 33
    What Freedom? says:

    The Scots being tied to EU is NOT freedom!

    More people want Out of Europe than In? Duh!

    It is a close call. This suggest to me that Cameron will carry on with his muscular reformation of the EU prior to the referendum.

  34. 34
    Nick Robinson says:


  35. 35
    Fruitcake, swivel eyed loony, closet racist, crank and gadfly says:

    42% v 40% seems close but I’d take that with Nigel leading the ‘out’ campaign and any LibLabCon drone leading the ‘in’.

    What time do we find out that the arseholes of Newark votes for an arsehole with a blue rosette?

  36. 36
    Anonymous says:

    If he had a dog it would be just like Guy Gibson’s.

  37. 37
  38. 38
  39. 39
    Nick Robinson says:

    Fat bottom girls can call me 24/7.
    07889 189178
    (me love you long time)

  40. 40
  41. 41
    Socialism is theft says:

    Whereas EU countries are run by people controlling the walking-dead (zombies), like the ones in Westminster.

  42. 42
    Rob Roy says:

    So the man in the Whitehouse (if one is allowed in these so politically correct days to call it that) has no instructions for the voters of Newark although he has plenty to say to the people of Scotland.

    Interesting to know what he really thinks of those RBS Bank Managers too.

    If Wingnut wants Scotland to stay in the Union more reason I say to vote yes for independence.

  43. 43
    Jacky Treehorn says:

    Of course he wantsus to stay it’s no secret he dislikes Britain and its history and would like the UK to slowly dissapear into a socialist shit hole

  44. 44
    A Man From Slough says:

    You make me laugh.

  45. 45
    Anonymous says:


  46. 46
    Pie Thagorus says:

    It’s a rather deceitful bar chart.
    It gives the ‘outers’ an appearance of three times the ‘inners’!
    Why not start from zero?

  47. 47
    illogical says:

    How are your hanging chads doing today Fred?

  48. 48
    Mycroft says:

    He’s in Newark atm.

  49. 49
    William Wallace says:

    I cannot find any link between these D Day celebrations and Scottish Independence.

    Vote Yes for independence for a brighter future both sides of the Border.

  50. 50
    Persona non grata says:

    And the theft of the votes of twelve states.

  51. 51
    Socialism is theft says:

    They look like they are voting for a zombie with a blue rosette. Sheep led by zombies, bloody marvellous.

  52. 52
    Socialism is theft says:

    I’d sooner vote for Qatar.

  53. 53
    Persona non grata says:

    Polls close 10pm.

  54. 54
    Purple Pie Eater says:

    No. They are queuing round the block outside the bookies, to collect their wins on the Elvis Part beating the LibDoomed.

  55. 55
    Dianne Abbott (nee Dada) says:

    Will do, Nick.

  56. 56
    Expat Geordie says:

    Does this include “postal” voters?

  57. 57
    Scottish Voter says:

    Obama will have no influence on how I vote in the referendum.

    YES we can.

  58. 58
    Anonymous says:

    campaigning within a prescribed area

  59. 59
    Expat Geordie says:

    It’s so bad that you can’t even post traditional old English words like sníggér on here any more with it being moderated. The new politically correct version is “sGibsons”.

  60. 60
    Mr Codsall the Maths Teacher says:

    Guido never would pay attention

  61. 61
    geordieboy says:

    Milk chocolate comes to mind.

  62. 62
    Gary Elsby Stoke says:

    Ian Duncan Smith says:

    “Britain will reject UKIP”

    Game set and match once the Conservative swivel eyed loons are put to bec and Labour comes out fighting (add in Greens…etc according to taste).

  63. 63
    Fred of Fleet Street. says:

    The papers have the headlines all ready and waiting.
    ‘Conservatives Storm to Victory’,
    ‘A crushing defeat for Farage’,
    ‘A positive signal for Cameron’ etc etc.
    Pity it’s all a load of ball locks.

  64. 64
    Mycroft says:

    I am toying with tweeting mini-me asking “Where will you be standing next? Innocent Face.”

    Would that be cruel?

    … or just the first to ask?

  65. 65
    Bosun Higgs says:

    In which case, George Washington was the first black President.

  66. 66
    Mycroft says:

    That makes me feel even more comfortable with my choice of UKIP.

    That man couldn’t do anything right even if his life depended on it.

    A Political Prannet.

  67. 67
    Ed Twelvety Balls says:

    Newark will vote Tory. Some polling indicates Labour are in with a chance of coming second, but there’s a greater chance of Ukip doing that.

  68. 68
    Anonymous says:

    The Lib Dem chart maker has a job on guido, as there is little to do at LD HQ these days

  69. 69
    Reading between the lines says:

    “an ITV/ComRes poll out today shows more Britons want to leave the EU than stay in.”

  70. 70
    jgm2 says:

    Yeah. Ed Miliband come out fighting. Just the man you’d want beside you in the trenches.

    Ha fucking ha.

  71. 71
    Diddley says:

    Typical ‘democrat’ – if you don’t vote for what I want you to vote for, you are wrong.

    So sick of this attitude, so many politicians need a seriously hard kick in the balls/fanny/transgender garden.

  72. 72
    Col Ripper of Braintree says:

    Obviously a simpleton, one leg shorter than the other (the left one) this senile old fool
    probably doesnt know who he representing him but promised to wear that blue rosette in return for a nice cup of tea and a biscuit and the chance to meet Lady Thatcher, let us hope that he gets to fulfill that ambition sooner rather than later

  73. 73
    These are not the Dorids you've been looking for says:

    you mean ‘unmanned combat air vehicle’ (UCAV)

  74. 74
    Tesco Sinks Further Into The Shit! says:

    Malta is doing its utmost to slaughter the migrating songbirds that flock to the little island, particularly the unfortunate house martins. The death toll is in the tens of thousands a year. Fuck ‘em, I say.

  75. 75
    Nick Clegg says:

    Because it has been done in homage to the style we use for Lib Dem charts
    – and it’s not misleading at all, honest.

  76. 76
    Global Warming Data Fiddler says:

    Nothing wrong with that graph; have a look at ours. That is why you pay nearly £7 a gallon for fuel and all those green taxes. MPs are thick fuckers easily fooled by a dodgy graph.

  77. 77
    Anonymous is a semi-literate moron says:

    It’s “worthy,” not “worth,” you idiot.

  78. 78
    Col Ripper of Braintree says:

    Well if ED carried a target on his chest and said get it here fritz you sausage munching hunnish homo whilst blowing a whistle he would be an ideal chap to have next to you

  79. 79
    Scottish Voter says:

    Regarding Obama’s wish for Scots to vote to remain part of the UK.

    It would seem that all world leaders from Putin to Obama want the Scots to remain in the UK. Do you think any of those Leaders have Britain’s interest at heart? What’s in their interest in Scotland voting NO?

  80. 80
    The Mrs Merkel Show says:

    Please don’t antagonise Putin.

    In Germany we followed the green dream and shut all our nuclear and coal power stations. Now we have non of that nasty pollution. We meet all our targets on clean air..clever old us!
    Germany has outsoursced its pollution to France..And also to Russia.

    Unfortunately this means the Fatherland is entirely dependent on Russian Gas to run our factories. If they decide to turn off the tap then no more Volkswagens.

    So .. leave Putin alone, OK ? Or we are in the brown stuff.

  81. 81
    Anonymous says:


  82. 82
    Media Mong says:

    Not worth reporting; a LibDems lies like a cheap Japanese watch.

  83. 83
    Col Ripper of Braintree says:

    Not only that Mycroft the mans a fucking jap!
    Give him half a chance and we would all be bui;ding railway bridges on a diet of dry rice and weevils, jut like they did to my late father Lt Col Ripper

  84. 84
    How do I copy these tapes to CD? says:

    Perhaps as much as the 3:1 geedough’s dodgy bar chart indicates

  85. 85
    Elvis says:

    Labour came second last time – it’s the Tories turn!
    I don’t care who comes first as long as I beat the LibDoomed.
    I’ve £100 on at 25/1.

  86. 86
    Bill Quango MP says:

    Hmmm .. Hun sniper more likely to be laughing so much at the trembling Miliband he’d miss him and hit you.

    Better to have John Prescott beside you. Or Eric Pickles. beside you and simultaneously in front. And behind.

  87. 87
    Bill Quango MP says:

    Now now. We never, ever mention the Japanese in a wartime context. Its always Hitler.
    Japan gets a free pass. because of those really good cameras I suppose.

  88. 88
    Col Ripper of Braintree says:

    You would have the throw me on a train !
    Mind you spitting in public is bad enough. but on a woman???????
    Tie this young brute to the tracks and run him over

  89. 89
    If you vote for Rodger, he promises to Rodger you 365 (and a 1/4) day's of the Year. says:

    I’m an Art Student, hence I’m qualified to gauge colours and stuff. The Chart clearly shows that 4x the people questioned like Blue and not Yellow.

  90. 90
    Darwin's descendants says:

    Beware false origins.

  91. 91
    Col Ripper of Braintree says:

    The huns make excellent shots, good eyes you see
    Now the Jap has slanty eyes and is short sighted terrible shot, damn clean though, my late father had the job of shaving the camp commandants pubic area once a week, a great honour according to Col Muji
    My father had to give his word as an officer to do no harm to the Nippon wedding tackle, punishment would have been the slow removal of his own wedding tackle

  92. 92
    Austin Tash says:

    Even though I’m a UKIP voter, that graphic makes the difference between in/out seem a lot more than two percent…

  93. 93
    The Milli Ancestors says:

    We found either scarpering or fighting for the enemy strategically better options

  94. 94
    Mycroft says:

    If you look carefully and if your monitor is spot on… you can see all the colours of the rectum.

  95. 95
    The Milky Bar Kid says:

    “Sadly Obama didn’t give us his verdict on whether the people of Newark should go for Robert Jenrick or Roger Helmer today”

    Saying Britain should remain in the EU is a pretty clear hint.

  96. 96
    Poosh says:

    Scots should vote “no” to “freedom” ??? eh…

    Because less freedom under the auspices of independence, and greater statism, is “freedom” … gotcha.

    As if Scottish independence is anything to do with freedom or self-autonomy lol

  97. 97
    Pitchfork says:

    Slightly dodgy graph there Guido.

    Do you work for the Lib Dems?

  98. 98
    Jack the Ripper says:

    40% still want to stay in the corrupt pig club? Surely not.

  99. 99

    Well last year it was. The equivalent ComRes figures from their last poll was 46% leave and 24% stay. Lemonism would appear to be in retreat.

  100. 100
    Bishop, David Laurence - Bus-Pass Elvis Party says:

    Everyone likes a bit of ketchup right?

  101. 101
    Blind_leading_the_blind says:

    ” Always one for statistical excellence, Guido brings you the findings in a format LibDem HQ would be proud of:…” Guido, 27th May

    Nine days is a long time in politics

  102. 102

    What a bloody good idea, let’s get out of the EU and allow the land owning rentier class which runs this country to really screw the peasants, ahem, I mean citizens of this country into the ground, so they don’t have a pot to piss in and work for nothing. And think themselves lucky to do so.

    What an excellent prospect. For economic fascists.

    Turkeys voting for Christmas methinks. And I am no great fan of the EU either, but then neither am I fan of the crypto captilist economic terrorists running the deep state of this country.

  103. 103
    Scottish Power-Charging 1/5 more because you Pre-Pay rather than Paying by Direct Debit 3 Mths later says:

    Just who is Cameron ‘threatening’. Ze German’s or the GBP. We’ve already planted our flag where we want our Nation to be. He’s running from REAL Democracy yet uses that as a threat. Talk about being between a cock and a Lard Place.

  104. 104
    coeur_de_lion says:

    Perhaps Mr Obama would have advocated staying under British colonial rule in 1775?


    Would he have advised the Mau Mau to give it a rest and behave in the 60s?


    Surely we can’t be dealing with another left wing hypocrite?

  105. 105
    Plea says:

    A 2% difference looks colossal in that graphic.

  106. 106

    Michael Payne is Nottinghamshire born and bred. Thanks to the support of the Labour government he was the first in his family to attend university. He, like me, studied Law and volunteered for the Citizens Advice Bureau whilst there to help, as I once did, the most vulnerable people in society, who are often also least able to represent themselves.

    As Deputy Leader of Gedling Borough Council and a Nottinghamshire County Councillor I am aware that he has a strong track record of delivering on his promises. He is an experienced campaigner and advocate – He knows Newark (yours, not ours obviously) is a great place to live, work and visit – he wants to make sure others know that too.

    His Grandfather was a Nottinghamshire miner, he remembers growing up with his stories about the Labour movement and the values it stands for – he and I both grew up believing in those values of social justice, fairness and compassion and they’re values we are both just as passionate about today.

    Whether as a student activist, local volunteer, school governor or in the town hall or Whitehall, Michael has always fought hard on behalf of people and been focussed on helping people reach their full potential in life – whatever their background, whatever their zip code.

  107. 107
    Arse says:

    This is a ComRes poll of Ukip voters, right? Their last poll (EU elections) wasn’t anywhere near being within the margin of error.

  108. 108
    Col Ripper of Braintree says:

    Local exit polls have UKIP 2% ahead of the Cons

  109. 109
    BBC executive says:

    “methinks”? You not that self important twat, Russell Brand, are you?

  110. 110
    Fuck the LibLabCon says:


  111. 111
    Barco O'Bummer says:

    “Vote NO to freedom”

    You don’t catch me saying that in the USA.

  112. 112
    London bankstrr says:

    Please leave the Laundry City of London out of this as well

    We need the hundreds of billions from Ukraine and Russia…we just love those pillaging oligarchs

  113. 113
    Axe, you magnificent cunt says:

    I can’t answer your question but I’d be pleased to come over and discuss it with you, and if you’ll just give me your GPS coordinates, er, that is if you can fix your location… er, um, if you could tell me the address where you’re located … er, that is…

  114. 114
    A European says:

    The sooner Britain, with its criminal banks, neocon war criminals, criminal newspapers, totally corrupt Parliament, crony capitalists and endless sordid stories of child abuse, hospital and school killings and moral collapse…

    Leaves the European Union

    The better…

  115. 115
    Tongsyabas says:

    Some Septic telling the Scots what to do? That’ll be a few hundred thousand more Yes votes then.

  116. 116
    Peter Mandelson says:

    He looks very horny!

  117. 117
    A patriot says:

    Where has Cameron planted our flag?

    Up his own jimminy cricket?

  118. 118
    Anonymous says:

    It is clear that Obama and his regime are fully signed up to the NWO of which the EU is just a part. Fortunately for us the rest of the US is not in agreement, the EU is failing and no one listens to Obama any more.

  119. 119
    Close Down the BBC Now says:

    Did you see him with his arm around the waist of the mother of that (alleged) deserter who’s (allegedly) responsible for the deaths of six of his comrades, and for whom he’s released five Taliban employees, hell bent on revenge? Nice. Not exactly reported like that by the BBC, of course.

  120. 120
    President Pootn says:

  121. 121

    My seaweed soundings were taken last night. They only tell the truth. The exit polls will show this. Of those who vote today, the share will be as follows:

    UKIP 33%
    CON 32%
    LAB 26%
    LIBDEMS 3%
    OTHERS 2%

    God Save The Queen.

  122. 122
    Close Down the BBC Now says:

    He’s the worst president in living memory. You can tell that even from this far away.

  123. 123
    Spunker says:

    Wuf wuf

    Wags his tail

    And pees on Cast Iron’s trousers

  124. 124

    Who wants Cold tits anyway?

  125. 125

    Send an aircraft carrier out.


  126. 126
    Ed Moribund says:

    Well I’ve got 30% on my team and I demand we must stay in EU.
    Then there are 10% of idiot lib Dems. Green fools. People who think they wouldn’t be able yo buy French wine if we left the EU. That’s another 5%.

    And 5% are so stupid they either didn’t understand or incorrectly answered the question.

  127. 127

    Lemonism is dead.

    Welcome to UKIP. You will get used to it.

  128. 128
    Socialism is theft says:

    That’s the worst spelling of Libdemism I have ever seen.

  129. 129
    Brits stink says:

    When you have been the Poodle of the US and kissing their asses for years

    It is difficult to cut the umbilical cord

    And the Europeans don’t want you either…

    Perhaps you will join the African Union)))

  130. 130
    Tom Catesby says:

    David Cameron WILL NOT renegotiate our EUSSR membership.

  131. 131
    The voting public says:

    When are you due for repatriation, Clegg ?

    You’d better not be expecting us to foot the bill.

  132. 132

    The interesting thing about Newark is that its name is an anagram of Dave…

  133. 133
    Scottish Voter says:

    Yes,they just don’t get it do they?

    BTW Fleetyabas.

  134. 134
    White rabbit says:

    You must be one of those crypto commie bloated Europeans with a tattoo and a tunnel.

  135. 135
    Jack Ketch. says:

    Café au Lait

  136. 136
    Cast Iron Dave, disappearing up his own backside says:

    I will tell our good friend Vlad tomorrow that we will never impose financial sanctions on Russia

    My bankster paymasters would never forgive me

  137. 137
    AJP Teapot says:

    Tonight is the 70th anniversary of the reason the French dislike us so.

    Shame mostly.

    Shame, embarrassment and guilt. And of course when you’ve seen someone utterly humiliated and they are totally dependent on you for help, they will despise you forever.

    You’ve seen them emasculated, you see. Seen them crushed. Seen them beaten with no self respect left. No man can live with that.

    So the Frenchies hate us. Hate us for ever seeing them at their weakest and most defeated and pathetic.

  138. 138
    Ukweli Machungu says:

    Barry’s a placeman if ever there was one. It stands out a mile.

  139. 139
    A European says:

    Weak reply darling

  140. 140
    Tom Catesby says:

    I’d sooner vote for catarrh.

  141. 141
    Bill Quango MP says:

    Ken war?

  142. 142

    Presumably, all those not born in the USA may henceforth be eligible to become president?

  143. 143
    Ukweli Machungu says:

    Cameron is not a Conservative.

  144. 144
    Social Services-Don't kick him out, he's only got another 3 houses! Just where is he going to live? says:

    Read it and weep.

  145. 145
    A General says:

    With no aircraft above all

    We would not want Vlad to think we are serious

  146. 146
    Jack Ketch. says:

    Even the cheapest Japanese watches tell the right time.
    The expression you are seeking is “As queer as a Chinese watch”.

  147. 147

    Good try…

    The prize is still for the grasping!

  148. 148
    Nick Fag says:

    Another bloody day of people telling me to reding tomorrow. Calls for bus pass Elvis to become leader of the liberal party.

    “He got more votes than you did, nick!”

    Well Bollox. I’m not resigning. You’ll have yo kill me to get me out of my deputy PM office. Kill me or give me a very good, well paid job in Paris.

  149. 149
    Anonymous says:

    I’m impressed with all those medals Charlie boy has. Can’t remember the wars be fought in though, perhaps they are for shagging Camilla in different positions?

  150. 150
    English nationalist says:

    Will Vlad please take Jockland off our hands please

    If he does a Crimea on Scotland, all members of the G7 will start crying

    Oh dear

  151. 151
    non taxable pikey says:

    Not being a person who fully understands the Banking system it is sometimes hard to work out just what is happening, but the ECB negative interest rates etc seem to suggest to me that the EU is totally Fucked.

  152. 152
    Jack Ketch. says:

    Looting bombsites, you mean.

  153. 153
    Tom Catesby says:

    What will we jock do after September, if Putin sends fleet up the Clyde?

  154. 154
    I'm concerned about Invasion's of Privacy says:

    Does he have problems with his Microsoft Operating System? Is he aware of the ‘New Government Scheme’ about new Boilers? Does he want to start dating poor old people from Nigeria? I think he’s not aware of these appalling travesties of Justice! I need to speak to him about this!…Again, and again, and again, and again, and again….Blah, blah….

  155. 155
    parallel living in kensington and chelsea says:

    q 1
    ear and mouth.

  156. 156
    Tom Catesby says:

    What a sick joke! We probably couldn’t win an argument on a boating pond these days

  157. 157
    y hide. park and ride. says:

    sink the bank. buy the bicycle.

    le koc le koc koc le koc.
    my elasticated legs go up to my navel but i am properly trousered up as well.

  158. 158
    Vlad in Paris says:

    It’s just our Summer Exercises to make you all wet your beds, again…

    PS And to encourage your ridiculous Prime Minister

  159. 159
    John Bellingham says:

    It is significant that when the Raving Monster Loony Party say really daft things, they are not being serious, whereas the Lib-Dems…………………………………..

  160. 160
    Michael Rennett says:

    Junket does not form part of the UKIP syllabubs.

  161. 161
    Voter says:

    I never understand why cellphone numbers are spaced in that odd way.
    07889 189178

    It should of course be read like any other sensible area number:
    0788 918 9178

  162. 162
    John Bellingham says:

    ‘He was formerly a successful young man who had achieved much in school and was a highly thought of young member of the local Labour Party.’

    Read more: http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-2648851/Thug-tried-board-train-without-paying-spat-female-ticket-collectors-face-threw-HER-train-walks-free-court.html#ixzz33n99Wonu

  163. 163
    Vlad, being nice says:

    Want to join my EurAsian Partnership?

    Or would you prefer to surrender withiut a shot?

  164. 164
    White rabbit says:

    oooff…right in the solar plexus. Catch my breath

  165. 165
    gi s out. p is pout. says:

    it isall about expertise.

    are computers general purpose.
    has doctor david owen embedded himself into his iphone yet.
    he no samsung.

  166. 166
    Jezza says:

    Obama? That guy who swapped 5 mad muzzers for a deserter?

  167. 167
    talk talk. says:

    stop stop.

  168. 168
    Here is BBC home service says:

    You go us in one, please help us leave the EU, we could save £50million a day from going to the EU, after all you wouldn’t want or need our corrupt money.

  169. 169

    You are indeed welcome to it.

  170. 170
    Correction says:


    There are more obese in the UK than any other European country)))

  171. 171
    a partner at a high street kensington law firm says:

    armenian monkey dancing on his mother’s garve.

  172. 172

    We absolutely cannot tolerate within our ranks people who believe it is acceptable to behave like Steve Hitlon

  173. 173
    Sly of the family Stallone says:

    All it’ll take is a constitutional amendment and the next thing you know it’ll be President Schwarzenegger that you’re dealing with.

  174. 174
    sorry, not interested says:

    what about my smoother newer galaxy?

    chic choc says the rickshaw wallah.

    gobi in gobi or in the dessert.
    yes please. sri arab .

  175. 175
    James Blish says:

    The Okie cities would never have got off the ground in Barry’s America.
    I mean, who could ever believe in the Milk-Chocolett-Dirac equation ?

  176. 176
    l close your says:

    in covert operations gargen a gas meter broke.
    a fla,e trickled apart.

    no tirckster. just a bus ch. in my sheep.
    hence strippers always strip. #askGraham.
    pore or pour. the fat lady .as we are now in sing.a.snake. it is all down to god fyr him. soon? where is mitsubhishi trojan mr president?

  177. 177
    James Blish says:

    What the hell was wrong with that, Bottie ?

  178. 178
    I'm playing stoopid, but as there are no copper's about I may get away with it says:

    The Law States…”No fucking morons in front of Voting Booths”. He’s no different to the Tower Hamlet’s fucktards. Just where are the Coppers nowadays? I’m thinking the Peel Street Boys have taken the shilling of Government Centralism and not not veered on the side of Free Choice and Expression.

  179. 179
    lip glare sauce says:

    lost in toast?

  180. 180
    David Spoonfaced Botox says:

    Wee Wiile and I have agreed with Omaha Beach that we should invade Jockland

    They will then understand the Shock and Awe of British military might

    And Alex Salmon will be smoked alive…

  181. 181
    Expat Geordie says:

    Postal votes?

  182. 182
    Mustapha Fatwa says:

    It is wanting a good edukatshu in the birminghum so wee neeed flour teeckars to show good way of aallah. Eenglisher go he’ll.

  183. 183
    Owen Jones says:

    I have cold zits.

  184. 184
    the lodger says:

    Whichever way it goes we’re gonna get rogered.

  185. 185
    táxpáyér says:

    A lot of commonwealth migrants want the EU to die.

  186. 186
    Mustapha Fatwa says:

    Clearly on the Japan road, without the discipline. Who is going to tell them they’ve got at least another fifteen years of this?

  187. 187
    Total recall - the only solution says:

    Come in, no. 10, your time’s up.

  188. 188
    is air water? says:

    wall street.
    street road.

    picaddilly is dirty.
    arch your back at marble arch. c1 is a bus 2?

  189. 189
    táxpáyér says:

    Carter must be SO revealed.

    Emperor Zero’s place on the trillion dollar note is assured.

  190. 190
    The Kenyan President says:

    Impostor !

  191. 191
    Mustapha Fatwa says:

    Like we people but we take you over and….you let us. Imbeciles.

  192. 192
    Anonymous says:


  193. 193
    President Hollande's mistress says:

    My loverboy is having a busy evening

    Dinner with that funny Mr O’bama at 7.00

    Then a “souper” with my favourite man, Vladimir, at 9.00

    He is then due to jump on his scooter, driven by one of Vladimir’s officers, to come and have some rolly poly with me (is that what you call it in English) to get over the strain of it all

  194. 194
    táxpáyér says:

    Very open about his theft plans…

  195. 195
    Wayne Kerr says:

    Schrödinger’s cat?

  196. 196
    right foot itch says:

    kick the cat.

    left foot is trouble. all the pigs monkeys and bitches have disco saturday night . grease is on.

    the black sadie is athe ready. polish asha is gagging for it, as for the the nepalise ganga, she WILLL settle for Mr Jam, na? the nervouse electronic person outside has his shades on while he fags aways in that “o you r so full” detroit dirty car museum.

  197. 197
    Ukweli Machungu says:

    Newark = a damn divorce ?

    As in : a damn divorce from sanity if Dave’s man gets in.

  198. 198
    White rabbit says:

    Excellent revolutionary tactics. Destined for the top. Agitation is the key.

  199. 199
    Alas, Poor Albion says:

    Will. You. Please. Fuck off?

  200. 200
    I'm concerned-about your mental health says:

    Ve are doing ze right thingyz…..Just like the Chinese and Indians are…Ve must all take responsibility for our actions when it comes to carbon – hence I eat at least 2KG of burnt sausages/day. I vill digest ze carbon and export it to Uranus.

  201. 201
    Bosun Higgs says:

    Is it Jim Trott from Dibley?

    Yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes no

  202. 202
    mark thyme says:

    SC keeps the seaweed down his trousers to keep it moist, and I don’t mean the seaweed.

  203. 203
    Anonymous says:

    LibDem style bar chart.

  204. 204
    Bosun Higgs says:

    If you lived in Welshpool you would be desperate to get on a train, too.

  205. 205
    EeeYepBlowing Whistles says:

    What is it about this Ben Gazi – bloke/thingy/hilarythecommie/massivecoverup?

  206. 206
    táxpáyér says:

    The germans have always been keen on gassing in the east,

  207. 207
    kuwait ie in knightsbridge says:

    NO or no no or . oxbridge saudi loves shopping in new bridge . somali mali is saftey .

    who will be “.”
    conscious/first. coupling

    oxen says push.
    electric car or cart?
    being mental.
    being human. rubberised mouth is a spitting image. motherhood has to be transistorised. do royalty have an interest in edwardian dolls?

  208. 208
    táxpáyér says:

    France has all that and much much more.

  209. 209
    The Ghost of the English Language says:

    A poodle with an umbilical cord, kissing 300 million bottoms? It sounds like a David Cronenberg film.

  210. 210
    Corby says:

    O’Buma should be told to take a running jump.

  211. 211
    buses come in three's says:

    amazon baby on board bade.g

    baby is the back. ask the somalian trucker.
    she is john lloyd’s when she is not reutering around with intent. vicious cat.

  212. 212
    Bosun Higgs says:

    What does it mean when your bladder-wrack goes limp and slimy?

  213. 213
    Realist says:

    They hate us because we liberated the bastards just when they had managed to learn the words to Deutschland Uber Alles. But what they really hate of course is that it gave french women the opportunity to screw an invader who was not german.

  214. 214
    táxpáyér says:

    15? I doubt they’ve got that long. It’s going to look more “socialist paradise” very soon.

    After all, the Euro-peons savings will be looted to keep the establishment in the custom they’ve become acquainted to.

  215. 215
    Col Ripper of Braintree says:

    less than two hours before Nigel descends from the heavens and that jelly fish disappears back to London


  216. 216
    EeeYepBlowing Whistles says:

    The liblabcons couldn’t be in better company with the whores from fleet street – And scum from the Inns of the temple – All the liars, frauds, chancers, cheats, B/Shitters and general low-life of the Westminster circus. Fuck ‘em all. As for the pigstabulary and the MET [Inc The private city of london pigs] – they’re all part of the four pillars of the rotting, stinking filthy pe3do practicing state.

  217. 217
    Bosun Higgs says:

    “Weak RN” (Two old minesweepers and a pedalo)

  218. 218
    Grandma Nazi-can I take his spanking for him instead? says:

    “Waxaan haystaa karaa inuu baasaboor halkii?”

  219. 219
    Anonymous says:

    This. FFS mods, can you do something about the Invasion of the Shitebots in every thread?

  220. 220
    Dr Spock says:

    He got one for taking Diana’s v I r ginity…

  221. 221
    Bert says:

    The perfect job for Gordon Brown … though Iain Martin at the Telegripe wants him as president of the European Commission … hmm, why can’t he do both jobs?

  222. 222
    EeeYepBlowing Whistles says:

    I’d sooner vote for Blairs Hanging – to teach ‘em all a fucking good lesson that it’s the people who are the masters and the politicals who are ‘our slaves’.

  223. 223
    Bert says:

    Odd how 50% of his genes outweigh the other 50%. So much for harmony.

  224. 224
    marlon brando says:

    blind man.

    the a guido.
    the rough is the guide. pls sir, i have been bastardised.

    the black man from guyana was interesting. enjoy the portugee e waterfront backwater cup world.

    time to drink the tablets raw.

  225. 225
    EeeYepBlowing Whistles says:

    You can keep i out of your little argument here – save that i do not want the son of a fucking dirty marxist doublecrossing bastard to EVER become the PM of this country.

  226. 226
    Fishy says:

    Has he had a real job?

  227. 227
    EeeYepBlowing Whistles says:

    Quick build thousands of offshore wind turbines – that’ll chop them pesky ruskies little boats to pieces.

  228. 228
    Corieltavi says:

    Newark is made of overnight progressive Socialists.
    Blow warm air over them they glow Blue.
    Blow cold air they glow Red.
    Independence is still a growing concept.
    But never underestimate – this year – or next.

  229. 229
  230. 230
    táxpáyér says:

    Malta is doing its utmost to slaughter the wealth of non-emigrating workers.

  231. 231
    Blue Peter Goldfish says:

    I can’t make my mind up whether to vote for Barack Obama or Manuel Barroso as they both have very similar views on the governance of other countries and plenty of advice on how its citizens should vote.

  232. 232
    EeeYepBlowing Whistles says:

    SC – of last night – close to Argyll & Bute council – what a fucking bent council they have going there.

  233. 233
    Taxpayer says:

    Like the UK bank collapse and bailout which is continuing you mean?

    And QE III?!

  234. 234
    EeeYepBlowing Whistles says:

    Dave should consider – repealing gay marriage – that’d keep Vlad happy.

  235. 235
    Spartacus says:

    probably is part of the newspaper establishment vocab

  236. 236
    Mustapha Fatwa says:

    Lutratfur is bring the post ally votings in soon, then result for glorious religion, (peaceful), then we strike you.

  237. 237
    EeeYepBlowing Whistles says:

    You are ‘mantra man’ of old ovens and i claim your scalp.

  238. 238
    Bishop, David Laurence - Bus-Pass Elvis Party says:

    Double espresso and a Soberano? Don’t mind if I do!

  239. 239
    Anonymous says:


    What a truly remarkable woman

    The Queen lights up the Champs-Élysées: Her Majesty – in her third chic outfit of the day – is greeted by Francois Hollande as she arrives in Paris for state visit to commemorate D-Day

    Read more: http://www.dailymail.co.uk/femail/article-2649650/Her-Majesty-dazzles-navy-cream-boards-Eurostar-Paris-not-makes-one-little-flower-girls-day.

    God save the Queen.

  240. 240
    EeeYepBlowing Whistles says:

    Personally i’d have the bastard legals who let him off – hung.

    What kind of wishy washy – poor me – poor shit excuse did his lawyers offer up with a uman rights bit attached to it?

  241. 241
    Keith Prometheus Chegwinus III says:

    Uninterpretable without 95% Confidence intervals

  242. 242
    EeeYepBlowing Whistles says:

    two percent if even that of the fucking population are homos – so what the fuck are they doing and being allowed to get away with against the wishes of the other 98 percent of the British Public?

  243. 243
    Thick as a Plank says:

    Nice graph! Clever use of a skewed Y-axis perfected by the Lib Dems and enhanced by Fatty Fawkes.

  244. 244
    EeeYepBlowing Whistles says:

    Obambi should fook right off and take that annoying fucking tory wanker Brooks Newmark with him.

  245. 245

    Tonight, I had the lovely experience of being greeted by a waitress at my favourite restaurant at my FKK site, who is not working there until the high season in August. Instead, she is there on holiday with her mother and boyfriend.

    Her blonde shiny hair was hanging down and almost touching her bottom (in the restaurant she has to keep it tied back for obvious reasons). We cuddled together, not for the first time, I will admit but by far the closest that we have ever done so. It was a close encounter at every level. It was a spontaneous act as we weren’t expecting to see each other. It was lovely. Perfect even.

    It was not possible to ignore her long, long suntanned legs and arms, tight waistline and firm breasts pressed hard into me. Her body is beautifully skinny and healthy.

    She is considerably younger than I am. But tonight I saw her in a new light. I could, oh, I could. Never really thought about her before except that I always enjoyed her outgoing character.

    If I see her unclothed there tomorrow, I am frightened that I might have an uncontrollable happy moment…

  246. 246
    Nigel in Malta says:

    Helma got that crutch off a disabled Tory voter.

  247. 247
    Osama the Nazarene2 says:

    2% margin of error.

  248. 248
    saatchi 2 is missing. other woman alert says:

    charles saatchi at the mansion house.

  249. 249
    EeeYepBlowing Whistles says:


  250. 250
    Aneurism Bevan says:

    Just what the country needs — another wealthy Labour lawyer pretending to be a ‘man of the People.’ The Working Man’s Party no longer seems to have anyone in it but liars ‘n’ lawyers (often conflated)!

  251. 251
    Anonymous says:

    Fcuking rubbish

  252. 252
    Nick Clegg says:

    Bus-Pass Elvis. Love it. :)

  253. 253
    Totally confused says:

    Barry Obama charged with sex offences and Garry Glitter tells the Scots to stay in.

  254. 254
    EeeYepBlowing Whistles says:

    And the banksters in the city of london, the vatican and IMF should be S/hitting their pants too.

  255. 255
    Bishop, David Laurence - Bus-Pass Elvis Party says:

    Baron Oakeshott of Seagrove Bay says that the Lib Dems have “no roots, no principles and no values”, I’ve been saying that for last 4 years

  256. 256
    lansborough hotel attendant says:

    oir refurbishments are scheduled to complte in december.
    missing “e”

    i or u. now the horses are no more. go cart go. the hrose do have the right of way.

    HMV says hm v.
    parked forehead says: “wish i was a pillow”

  257. 257
    PC says:

    Why rape Rhiannon Brooker when you have a right hand, FFS?

  258. 258
    PC says:

    Why ra’pe Rhiannon Brooker when you have a right hand, FFS?

  259. 259
    EeeYepBlowing Whistles says:

    She is suborned to the vices of her bent and generally corrupt Ministers. Why didn’t she ad lib that bloody Cameron speech with her own words … That would have shown some courage.

  260. 260
    07889 189178 says:

    Gissa a new sim card please?

  261. 261
    Barry O'Barmy says:

    Now guys, you all gotta vote Presidente Fewrer Merkel
    What d’y mean y caint vote. Well dont matter nuthin anyhows
    Just support the Fewrer like we told ya
    Y’ know it makes sense.
    And yes u can.

  262. 262
    The British media are cunts says:

    So according to the left, it’s OK to have schools that are 99.4% Muslim but not ones that are mostly white.

    Must be pissing the lefties off though that the Mussies don’t want their kids taught about bum sex.

  263. 263
    Nige's Beach Boys says:

    Woldn’t it be nice if we could wake up

    Finding Slimey took it up the chuff

    And wouldn’t it be nice if he would break up

    Cos he’s been so absolutely duff.

  264. 264
    The British media are cunts says:

    I rang that number and got a gay sex line.

  265. 265
    Blue Peter Goldfish says:

    A read [sic] one.

  266. 266

    Toenails just asked me for my mobile number.

    I told him to fuck off, of course.

  267. 267
    EU democracy my arse says:

    It is most difficult to know how to chose in these matters.
    But how fortunate we are to have the decisions made for us,
    with all thanks to support from the freedom loving yankees of Barry Obarma

  268. 268
    anon says:

    You fucking wanker.

  269. 269
    Come down O Nigel says:

    Descend amongst O Nigel and smite the jellyfishes for verily they have sorely stung us.

  270. 270

    If the little shit had spat in my face he would not have walked free from any court ,he would never walk again.

  271. 271
    Anonymous says:

    Not sure how good this will be,worth a try?

  272. 272
    Jeremy Thorpe killed my dog says:

    I quite agree

    But the Liberal Party kept me and Jo Grimond and many other skivvers in gin and tonics for decades…

    It was always a huge scam…continued by that spoilt good for nothing Cleggie….

  273. 273
    Contradiction in Terms says:

    Try again!

  274. 274
    Blue Peter Goldfish says:

    You can get an ‘O’ level in it and then an ‘A’ * level.

  275. 275

    Ten minutes away from the biggest earthquake yet in British politics.

  276. 276
    The Spirit of Runnymede says:

    Let us wish the spirit of King John, departed this world at Newark in 1216, grant us a great victory over the slithery serpent of the LiblabCon.
    In commemoration of the project for freedom and democracy begun in 1215.

  277. 277
    Fucked off says:

    I’ll tell Abama something ‘fuck off back home and keep your nose out of my life’ and at the same time sort your own in house shit out

  278. 278
  279. 279
  280. 280

    Bus Pass Elvis coming in strong…

  281. 281

  282. 282
    Brillo says:

    Don’t miss the Newark by-election special with Brillo and co. Starts 11.35 and goes on till 3am with live results. Tune in to see Bus Pass Elvis destroy the Lib Dems.

  283. 283

    Looks as if Helmer may have this one!

  284. 284

    Two minutes! Two fucking minutes!

  285. 285

    That is it. Those who have not got inside the polling stations are too late.

    Exit polls any second now…

  286. 286
    Ratfur says:

    Webcast? Amateurs!

    You want your whole extended family in there, pushing people around and shouting, peering over the counters’ shoulders and scribbling on any votes for your opposition, then saying the vote is spoiled because someone has scribbled on it.

  287. 287
    anon says:

    You tossing wanker.

  288. 288
    Abbopotamus says:

    See? Another way!

    Anyway, you are all racists.

  289. 289
    An old Minor, don't touch me copper's I'm only 12 says:

    WTF are you on about? I’ve heard some drivel before but that takes the biscuit. Are you a biscuit Minor?

  290. 290
    Anonymous says:

  291. 291
    thespecialone says:

    Oh for fuck’s sake I was in the Andrew for 28 years there is nothing new in this. Media hype using the word “scrambled”. How does a ship “scramble” as scrambling means doing things quickly. A warship can do a max of around 28 knots and believe me that is not pleasant for the ship’s company. The media are desperate for a war aren’t they?

  292. 292
    Mustapha Fatwa says:

    Ha ha

  293. 293

    Purple sunset over Newark tonight.

  294. 294
    LOL says:

  295. 295
    Mustapha Fatwa says:

    I also have some.

  296. 296
    Abdul Labour Postal Vote Organiser says:

    30K sent to Newark NY. Easy peazy

  297. 297
    Anonymous says:

    Live feed at 10.00 is late? Fishy

  298. 298
    B says:

    N igger

  299. 299
    Purple helmet says:

    Ooerr missus.

  300. 300
    Owen Jones says:

    D Day is just a symbol of imperialist western capitalism and all those who died were just hideously white men.

    Just don’t ask me to comment on female genital mutilation, honour killings, suicide bombings, muslim patrols, child marriage, public execution of gays, christians on death row in Sudan, and a pregnant woman stoned to death in P*kistan. But I will talk all day about the need to lynch Jeremy Clarkson.

  301. 301
    Islamingham says:

    A glorious night for the new UK. Victory is ours to lose. Ofstedding be gone.

  302. 302
    Anonymous says:

    Nigel will not be leading the out campaign. As a party leader he can support it but not lead it.

  303. 303
    Golden Hillock a muslim shithole says:

    This school in Birmingham has exposed children to extremism. And who do the bbc interview to show parents are happy with the school? Two fucking muslims! That’s like asking Anjem Choudhry if he thinks Hamas are treated unfairly.

  304. 304
    Lessons will be learned says:

    One baby has died and another 17 are seriously ill from contaminated feed. You can be assured no one will held to account, no one will be sacked or arrested, and we’ll get the usual corporate bullshit of “going forward lessons will be learned”.

  305. 305
    Idon'tneednodoctor says:

    Is that Jimmy Savile on the left?

  306. 306
    Gordon Brown says:

    I like a nice big shiny ballot box.

  307. 307

    Vote UKIP :-D

  308. 308
    Anonymous says:

  309. 309

    Rumour: Newark turnout ~ 50%

    h/t @BritainElects

  310. 310
    Anonymous says:

    “Junket”. See “Scientist, Climate”.

  311. 311
    Anonymous says:

    Same thing we did to everyone else who tried to invade. You might want to look away, it can get messy.

  312. 312
    Anonymous says:

    She was so stupid it’s not credible that half the Sloane set hadn’t talked their way into her knickers before bigears came along.

  313. 313
    Anonymous says:

    Most of the British military might is Scottish.

  314. 314

    Vote UKIP :-D

  315. 315
    I've looked wurst after trying to eat my own head says:

    Full PR. Let the Left and the Right have their say. All Westminster is is an ‘Opinion Laundering’ exercise. FPTP, honestly. In this day and age!?

  316. 316
    Progressive wanker says:

    We don’t know the sample size so we can’t make a view on the margin of error (which for comres political polls is supposedly 5%


    Scotland is already a free country.


  317. 317

    I would expect the Lemon Party to poll well among EXIT members.

  318. 318
    Hmmm says:

    That 2% must be within the margin of error of the poll even as it is.

    If there ever is a referendum the BBC will go into full-on pro-EU propaganda mode (and then apologise and say ‘lessons were learned’ afterwards), targeted squarely at the ill-informed/don’t-knows.

    Add that to the inevitable voting fraud, which will be overwhelmingly pro-EU (fraud always benefits the bad guys).

    And if the ‘out’ campaign manages to win in spite of all that, they will keep holding referenda until the proles give the ‘right’ answer, like they did in Ireland, in which mysterious figures were seen running off with full ballot boxes.

    Faith in a referendum as a means of curtailing the EU is misplaced.

  319. 319
    Jim says:

    Get wiv the programme, dingbat

  320. 320

    Your lack of interest is understandable, anon.

    Your idea of a happy evening would probably have been with a boy and an under-aged one at that.

  321. 321
    Ooh, what a giveaway ! says:

    Dishing out the dosh ???

  322. 322
    Walter says:

    I know the purpose of your blog – which I read daily, from Fife, even though I occasionally disagree with you – is to view political events through the London prism, and Scotland must seem worlds away. Nonetheless, I am surprised at what cursory time you appear to have spent examining the issues and the individuals involved in the Scottish independence debate, especially since the ramifications of a Yes vote would change English politics forever.

    While I am in the Better Together camp, and would be so through emotion even if the finances were not so utterly compelling, I would respect your opinion more if you applied your usual analytical focus to this issue.

    “…that the Scots should vote no to freedom…”. Really? It’s slightly more complex than Braveheart, you know. Please give it some proper thought Guido, I would be genuinely interested to read your informed opinion.

  323. 323
    Sigmund Fraud says:

    People like this really are beyond help.

  324. 324
    Blue Peter Goldfish says:

    Wanker, a case of of Noilly Prat for prize perhaps?.

  325. 325
    Flaming Torches R Us says:

    … another fucking qango ripe for burning.

  326. 326
    Flaming Torches R Us says:

    Didn’t he dr*ve a minesweeper or something?

  327. 327
    Flaming Torches R Us says:

    “rolly” poly usually comes covered in custard where I live.

  328. 328
    Flaming Torches R Us says:

    Because her boss Mrs Merky would have had her guts for garters.

  329. 329
    Flaming Torches R Us says:

    Looks like you needed to visit Specsavers a few weeks ago….

  330. 330
    John Tandy says:

    More like 60/40 to leave……

  331. 331
    lolGreece says:

    Guido now brought to you by the lib dem infographics team.

  332. 332
    NathanD says:

    Why does a 2 % difference have such a dramatic graphical representation?

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