June 4th, 2014

WATCH: Penny Mordaunt’s Loyal Address in Full


  1. 1
    Nigel Farage says:

    Make a note: Cameron will back an EU referendum Private Member’s Bill if a Tory gets a chance to introduce one.

  2. 2
    Joss Ayinglike says:


  3. 3
    Mitch says:


  4. 4
    Fawke Handles says:

    I would. What a cracker.

  5. 5
    Meanwhile in Finsbury says:

  6. 6
    more Maggies please says:

    I’ve just seen Cameron say, in the queens speech, that he doesn’t want to saddle future generations with debt.

    This is ironic considering that his incompetent government have done just that by increasing the national debt massively.

  7. 7
    I Guess says:

    You don’t meet many women?

  8. 8
    Call me an old cynic says:

    Whose dick she suck or come out of?

  9. 9
    David Axlegrease says:

  10. 10
    England is becoming a third world cess-pit says:

    She’s a good MP, but i fear the relentlessness increase of the Labour party’s scrounging, feckless hordes in Portsmouth will wipe her out…. innit

  11. 11
    Joss Ayinglike says:

    Guess again !

  12. 12
    Meanwhile in Wolverhampton says:

  13. 13
    Baron Hogwash says:

    You don’t !

  14. 14
    The Duke of Breast says:

    Yup, nice bangers.

  15. 15
    more importantly says:

    Auditors have refused to sign off the EU accounts for
    19 years.

  16. 16
    Spare a few bob for an old war veteran says:

    I have PTSD from fighting in Syria you treat on NHS yes?… infidel

  17. 17
    Gary Elsby Stoke says:

    The debt is cleared. There is no debt.
    Numpty UKIP Tory types are led to believe in a debt that doesn’t exist and we should CUT CUT CUT to ease something not there.

    Ask George.

  18. 18
    Garden Leave says:

    Inspirational – just what a woman MP should be. Go sink ‘em girl!

  19. 19
    Ad hoc says:

    Well I think we can rule out yours!

  20. 20
    Deaf Len says:

    Did I hear that a pageboy farted during the Queen’s Speech?

  21. 21
    Who? says:

    Penny Mordaunt? Who?

  22. 22
    Col Ripper of Braintree says:

    Dickie Davis his his eyes fixed firmly on her rear
    Im not usualla MILF lover but I would have a ride on that
    As long as she didnt insist on discussing politics

  23. 23
    Tim Farton, President of the Cockroach Party says:


  24. 24
    Anonymous says:

    Is it the first time the words “penis” and “testicles” were mentioned in parliament?

  25. 25
    NURSE BOTHA says:

    Gordon, can you please open the door

  26. 26
    Mycroft says:

    We ‘Pompeyites’ are one and all straight-talkers.

    Impressive speech.

  27. 27
    HandyCrook dragging it out says:

    So true!

  28. 28
    Cold war warrior whoose regiment was disbanded 1n the 90s says:

    Bloody good speech well worth 15 mins of anyone’s time

  29. 29
    domino says:

    Most Loyal Subjects….perhaps before you allowed us to be sold down the river to the EEC and then the EU in full complicity with the traitorous Parliamentarians.

  30. 30
    Weird Ed says:

    Yeth, it wath OK, but did you thee me being all Prime Mithiterial? I was tho good.

  31. 31
    It's not just the UK that has welfare scroungers and bennies culture says:

  32. 32
    Bonjour matelots says:

    Whilst more than adequately describing Portsmouth’s charms, I think I missed the bit about the perverts who represent other bits of that town and the utter skullduggery of the council. What is Penny going to do about that? Send in the navy?

  33. 33
    Bonjour matelots says:

    I think we may have heard balls a few times. Close enough?

  34. 34
    HenryV says:

    If only the other 649 were like her.

  35. 35
    Mornington Crescent says:

  36. 36
    Eagle Eyed Public says:

    Yes labour are so concerned about the rights and wishes of ordinary people.
    Strangely silent when it comes to allowing them to express them.
    Nanny Labour State knows best.

  37. 37
    Bonjour matelots says:

    Well, the woman to whom that speech was being addressed can take full responsibility for signing us and herself over to the Commissars – and without even consulting us first.

  38. 38
    Col Ripper of Braintree says:

    You must have been the oly bloke who gave a fuck about what she was sayiing
    everybody else was admiring her tits

  39. 39
    'Gypsy' Dave Cooper says:

    Is that a five-knuckle reshuffle?

  40. 40
    For information says:

    She’s a professional lobbyist…

    And Neo Guido’s associate in lobbying firm M edia I ntelligence P artners…

  41. 41
    Kate's bottom says:


    It’s all the rage…

  42. 42
    domino says:

    Exactly, after many years of scabby Labour in power any “constitutional crisis” from her upholding her Oath would have been people take the side of the crown and not Parliament this time around.

  43. 43
    I Guess says:

    They are – no balls.

  44. 44
    Cinna says:

    A man’s woman.

  45. 45
    Buzz_Orff says:

    Look at me. I’m a woman. and because I am a woman I am going to talk about women and equality. If you are not a woman look and listen politely in case somebody sees you not looking and listening politely. It is so strange being a woman because there are so few of us.

  46. 46
    domino says:


  47. 47
    Mycroft says:

    Awright mate!

  48. 48
    WoRaft Chihuahua says:

    I would. What a Conservative.

    I don’t suppose she’ll be allowed to lead the party she really deserves. It will be all sell-outs and betrayals while using her to put pretty words on top. Pity.

  49. 49
    Fruitcake, swivel eyed loony, closet racist, crank and gadfly says:

    Why do Cameron, Clegg & Milliband insist on saying ‘the public have turned their back on politics?’

    We haven’t you fucksticks, we’ve turned our back on the LibLabCon dissemblers.

    Simple, but you still don’t get it or most likely don’t want to get or couldn’t give a flying about getting it.

    A few more lessons in reality for you would appear to be in order.

  50. 50
    Tom Catesby says:

    What other organisation, particularly one in business or commerce could possiblly get away with unaudited accounts for 19 years?

  51. 51
    Mr Allan says:

    Fantastic stuff
    South Aberdeenshire!

  52. 52
    Anonymous says:

    Jolly good show. Almost makes me not want to Vote Ukip. But on the other hand I think I still will.

  53. 53
    Slick Willy says:

    Overall good but pity she had to include the feminist shit about having women in the front line, just something our society shouldn’t be doing and without dropping standards none will get in anyway.

  54. 54
    Best of Britisher says:

    Cracking speech!

    She’s one of us.

  55. 55
    Gooey Blob says:

    Of course the debt has increased, that is how deficits work. However, under the Tories the deficit will continue to fall. Under Labour, that deficit would grow again and the country would end up like Greece.

  56. 56
    Fred the pensioner says:

    At least she came across as far more articulate and intelligent than most of the airhead females who infest the tv studio sofa and the proceed to frazzle our brains with their bullshit.

  57. 57
    Socialism is theft says:

    Zilf. The Z stands for Zombie, courtesy of the EU.

  58. 58
    Lynton Crosby says:

    Energy should be run for the benefit of people, not to line the pockets of fatcats.
    People before profit.


  59. 59
    Ed Miliband says:

    Attaboy! Keep voting Ukip everyone, I want to see Ed Balls in Downing Street!

  60. 60
    Fred the pensioner says:

    I don’t think she was referring to putting women in the front line of the infantry brigades. But why should there not be a sub or two crewed entirely by the fairer sex? The lady dr^ving that big Australian Navy ship in the south Indian ocean looking for a lost plane seemed to know what she was doing.

  61. 61
    jimmy says:

    Would have been a fine speech without all the wimmins issue stuff. Why on earth Tories are nodding when she says how “proud” she is about a review that might send women off the die on the front line just to appease the Luurie Penny/Hadley Freeman type of screaming banshee moronic feminists I don’t know.

    Such a shame nobody can any more in public life articulate the plain truth that men and women are different and serving on the front line isn’t a place for women.

  62. 62
    Riggsy Brown says:

    Meanwhile’s, the SNP has Nicola Sturgeon speaking on behalf of the `Yes’ campaign.

  63. 63
    Fred the pensioner says:

    Jim, see my no 59 below.

  64. 64
    Fishy says:


    And what a difference from the shallow, ignorant, timeserving, bag carrying window dressing (that’s charity shop window dressing) in the Labour Party.

    Cooper, Eagle, Eagle, Flint, Foghorn, Creagh, Harm-men, watch it again and weep.

  65. 65
    WoRaft Chihuahua says:

    The subversive part is the implication that Brits can, and should, defend themselves. By wrapping it up in the f-word it becomes sayable.

    There has been a steady drip-drip effect for over 40 years now that there is something wrong with fighting to defend British interests. No matter what the once-a-year Remembrance says, all the reality has been to reduce our forces, not equip those who remain, and either give them sub-standard or no housing. And if they go awry because of bad war experiences, they will be left to go mad at the side of the street. Frankly, I’m surprised anyone signs up since it is difficult to tell the difference between the enemy and the MoD.

  66. 66
    Fred the pensioner says:

    I think Gary is referring to all that funny money conjured out of thin air over the years by the bankers on which they charge us real interest. That is what the debt actually is. If banks were prohibited from magicking money out of thin air and only lived on actual resources, there would indeed be no debt.

  67. 67
  68. 68
    HenryV says:

    You wouldn’t be making light of it matey if you lived in a diehard Labour stronghold. Labour could put Harvey the Rabbit up for the vote and the idiots would vote him. Fucking toad.

  69. 69
    Fred the pensioner says:

    Militit looks like he is pining for the fiords. I wonder if he actually understood one word of Penny’s speech.

  70. 70
    Anonymous says:

    balls is one thing or guy. To put “Penis” and “Testicles” in Hansard is another

  71. 71
    Fred the pensioner says:

    Well said. Couldn’t agree more +100

  72. 72
    Anonymous says:

    Are you using an Enigma machine to post comments?

  73. 73

    Tell that to the women who are in the front line in the occupied territories of east Ukraine, or the veterans of the Women’s Brigades of Stalins Army in 1941-45. There were women in the twin towers 0n 9/11, and women in the aircraft used as ballistic missiles. Women have been in the front line since Napoleon instigated total war. It is perfectly rational that women can carry arms to defend themselves in battle – not nice, just rational.

  74. 74
    Gary Elsby Stoke says:

    The National debt will increase, if not double over the next 10 years.
    That is because we are a successful modern economy.

    The deficit, by which UKIP Tory types scare us to sleep with each night has now gone.

    It’s the BIG surprise George is dying to give us come 2015 election day.

    The CUTS that have done the rounds in every Council in UK was a total waste of space which caused utter avoidable misery.

    I challenge all Tory economic writers in all BIG newspapers and TV to prove me wrong.

  75. 75
    GnosticBrian says:

    And women performed very well in the Red Army against, arguably, one of the world’s best armies, the Germ,an Wehrmacht – some of the highest scoring snipers, good fighter pilots and tank drivers.

  76. 76
    snobbish watch says:


  77. 77
    Immigration problem denier says:

    I want to see Dave back in Downing Street so he can invite 75 million Turkish members of the religion of peace.

  78. 78
    jimmy says:

    She spouts some feminist infected shit though so it would be better if she wasn’t leader. Women like her need to stop whingeing and just get on with it.

  79. 79
    Socialism is theft says:

    And watch the lights go out all over Britain.

  80. 80
    The British media are cunts says:

    Why shouldn’t females be cannon fodder? Hattie Harpic happily sends men off to die.

  81. 81
    Col Ripper of Braintree says:

    Well as she couldnt find the thing i presume that she should have got her husband to read the maps for he, he probably has to park the thing as well

  82. 82
    Abbotapotamus says:

    Hope Diane was ok….

  83. 83
    Slick Willy says:

    So Stalin did and therefore it’s a good idea? What rot. Society shouldn’t be sending women into combat, jimmy is 100% correct. I don’t care if women can make good snipers, it’s not the right place to be sending women, we should be protecting them not putting them in harm’s way.

    Feminism be damned, and the beta males here trying to sound modern by agreeing with them are just miles off any understanding of the differences between men and women and the place they should occupy in society, they should be the most well protected.

  84. 84

    Yeah. Bring back Brown-outs and the 3 day week. Just what the UK needs.

  85. 85
    Clear out required says:

    I’m beyond these troughing pigs collapsing in laughter at their own little speeches. She can fuck right off with the rest of them.

  86. 86
    Jimmy says:

    A woman commanding a ship looking for a lost civilian plane is so very different from combat.

    Do I think some women can do it? Yes. Not many, far less than the men but some can though I doubt a single woman would get into the SAS. I couldn’t either, tried twice and got close the 2nd time but just couldn’t hack the distances. But I served in the Gulf and Afghanistan. Trust me, it’s hell. And no decent society should be sending women into that type of situation. It’s just feminists bollocks that needs resisting.

  87. 87
    Where are Tony Blair's Expenses says:

    Her silence around the announcement of the stopping of naval ship building in Portsmouth Dockyard will make sure she loses her seat. Wasn’t she a PPS to the Defence Minister and decided to say nothing rather than resign and fight the decision. To cap it all in a blatant move to support the no vote in Scotland Ship building was concentrated in Scotland

    This is what the voters of Portsmouth will remember

  88. 88
    Slick Willy says:

    So weird that people keep saying “The soviets did it, so it must be a good idea”

    I would be ashamed as an Englishman if we start sending women into the front line. It would mean we have failed as men in our most basic duty.

  89. 89
    Riggsy Brown says:

    You’re more right than you know – that’s indeed why Harridan Harman and the rest want to have women soldiers on the front line, the final humiliation for any real men left.

  90. 90
    What? says:

    Gary, are you Gordon Brown? Or possibly Ed Balls?

  91. 91
    really??? says:

    I get it, its just not funny.

  92. 92
    Here Fucking Here says:

    One 100 and 20 Per Cent!!!

  93. 93
    Labour is the nasty party . says:

    Yes ,she is in a different class to the female dross on the Labour side .

  94. 94
    Steve says:

    Not nice, just large.

  95. 95
    CHRIST ON A BIKE! says:

    Utlilities companies would be run for fat-cat trade unionists again. They would be crammed with 3 times a many employees as they needed being grossly inefficient in everything they do and passing that on to the bill payers or tax payers.

    It would cost way more if these were nationalised.

    I mean you only have to look at all those marvelously efficient publicly owned institutions to see that!

  96. 96
    Outraged of Toxteth says:

    What was she talking about? I was too busy looking at those tits.

  97. 97
    domino says:

    Same around here, looks like a blue rag with a red stain on it that even Daz can’t shift…

  98. 98
    Anonymous says:

    I’m aroused in every conceivable way ! Well done!

  99. 99
    Shitbag Sanders says:

    I dunno whats worse, the cap doffing to the old German inbred nonce fucker or the fact that I would do her up the shitter, balls deep.

  100. 100
    ianwaring says:

    If you really think Cameron has reduced debt for future generations, have a quick gander at the graph at http://www.ianwaring.com/2014/03/20/brilliant-budget-but-please-look-away-from-the-debt/

    He’s hoping GDP growth will keep outgrowing our debt repayments, and he’s still yet to stick HS2 and other spend in there yet. I don’t rate our chances…

  101. 101
    Pub Landlord says:

    I’d have her it’s been a while!

  102. 102
    Granny's Ring says:

    She’s a fucking fruit loop, from Wiki…
    “She is a supporter of homeopathy, having signed an early day motion in support of its continued funding on the National Health Service.”

    Who votes for these fucking nut jobs?

  103. 103

    Don’t believe soviet propaganda, the female soviet conscripts stood no chance, they were slaughtered by the thousand with consummate ease.

  104. 104
    bwana says:

    pathetic guttersnipe !

  105. 105
    Homeopathy for the Poor Please says:

    Members of the long lived Royal Family who all use homeopathy…but I dont’ think they can vote, can they?

  106. 106
    Tory Crackers says:

    “What a cracker” Indeed, but unlikely you’ll pull.

  107. 107
  108. 108
    Gary Elsby says:

    Of course the National debt is increasing, that is what happens.
    The debt deficit has always been the post 2008 problem as we spend more than we earn.
    Unlike a household that needs to cut its cap according to its cloth, a Nation’s exchequer does not need to do this.
    Austerity cuts have save a trifling £10bn.
    A small pitch for growth over those years by apprx 2% would nett £30bn.

    Tories are handing Labour power via the UKIP back door EU IN/OUT nonsense referendum policy they dice with.

    Prime Minister Miliband will grow the Country by 2%, cut the deficit by three times that of Osborne and stop all cuts in local Government.
    It’s so obvious.

  109. 109
    Tom Catesby says:

    Which, now deceased tory MP, referred to the labour women in the HoC, as looking like a Stalingrad machine gun company?

  110. 110
    Schlomosexual says:

    Yes, i would suggest that Jimmy supports the idea of conscription and rapid deployment for feminists for a short period – just to get rid of them… and as every leader knows, you don’t give someone a job you aren’t prepared to do yourself…

  111. 111
    Handycock Teen Fondler says:

    I would have been there myself cos I quite fancy Penny, although she is a bit old for me, but I am lying low at the moment, intending to throw a sickie before my pending court appearance on 16 June. Boaz.

  112. 112
    concrete dump says:

    I would….

  113. 113
    Schlomosexual says:

    The Co-op?

  114. 114
    The Candyman says:


  115. 115

    Literate . Intelligent . Serious . Doesn t verbally stumble a la Dumbledore Brothers(and the majority of pols ) And damn fine looking Military reservist to boot. A Mrs Thatcher Mark Two in the making .

    Bring her on ….Dave Davis as Leader and DreadNaunt as Deputy PM .

    Tell ya wot ,…..I d bet they d give Nigel run for his money .

    (in one shot Cammo appeared to be sobbing . Perhaps he could hear the sound of his successor from his backbench!)

  116. 116

    Yeh , you “would” and so “would” all the hetero men in England (plus a few in Wales who would even transfer from their traditional allegiance to sheep )

    The point is she “would nt ” let us !!!

    ( she s no doubt mortgaged her very formidable assets for longterm financial security by putting her pussy in the till of some Russian oligarch or similar and I don t blame her . If you ve got it flaunt it!)

  117. 117


    And does that surprise any body anymore ?

    Even before I was er …” elected ” Commissioner with Responsibility for the EU Treasury I said to you all in 1992 ” …after i win the UK Election , watch your wallet ! ”
    Well , I DIDN T win the Election but I still got my hands on an even bigger set of purse strings and the effects are still being felt today …

  118. 118

    You ll have to excuse him , he s on medication.

  119. 119

    At least the man on the left although probably a self opinionated buffoon looks like a person you could risk the odd quick swift half with before his pontifications bore you to tears .

    The man on the right looks a complete plank — with whom you would think twice before even daring to share a bacon sandwich in case he were to heave it all over your office suit.

  120. 120
    King Cnut says:

    The only time I would want to see this woman close to me is in bed – not in a foxhole

  121. 121
    RWG00125478 says:

    More to worship.

  122. 122
    Gary Elsby says:

    The conservative way of reducing the deficit will work.
    Labour’s way of reducing the deficit will work.
    Both tried and tested and proven.

    The current Tory way is ok until you play games with a referendum and have a splitting vote secretly promoted via barking nuts Tories who won’t roll over and die. They will feel god about sacrificing the Party for their suicidal good cause.
    Ask John Major about his time with the rapids.

    Labour will piss all over the Tories for another 20 years in office and cut the deficit their proven way.

    It is so obvious, all Economic editors will publish this on Sunday.
    You heard it here first.

  123. 123
    Pompeyloyal says:

    you go Penny………………Portsmouth and proud

  124. 124
    Auditor supplier says:

    I thought our job was just to supply the Headphones and Microphones to the EU! I know nuffing about Accountancy and all that!

  125. 125
    Samurai Accountant says:

    I’ll cut the deficit! In fact I’ll even stab it a few times as well!

  126. 126
    Windfarm Asparagus Reynolds-Sculpter to the Kings and Queens of Brighton says:

    I’d like to make a Bust of her, I’ve cleared out a spare double room in preparation for starting the project..

  127. 127
    Same old shit, differ...Well, actually no, just the same old shit says:

    Vote for the Conservatives else Miliband will get in? Really!? And you actually endorse this ‘type’ of Political Choice we have in the UK!? I would swear at you, butt you already know what I’m going to say, isn’t that right Dear Deidre? Keep on looking into the future boyo.

    Vote for the LibLabCon, get the EU. It doesn’t get as simple as that.

    Vote UKIP, get UKIP.

  128. 128
    Narcissist BBC Manager-Reading my Guardian and hating UKIP says:

    Leave ‘Power Generation’ to us. We’ve had years of practice of putting people into power. They’re spelt the same, so whatever could go wrong!?

  129. 129
    Anal Clarke says:


  130. 130
    Pays her wages says:

    Feminists will have achieved something when they are able to make a speech about subjects other than feminism.

  131. 131
    Ey-up Lad says:

    Time Guido introduced a Troll Watch. This was a brilliant speech by a Tory woman – so chew on that all you Labour harpies.

  132. 132
    Chris says:

    And the women in the twin towers and the planes were, of course, willing combatants, were they? Sometimes the word ‘f*ckwit’ is just inadequate.

  133. 133
    Anonymous says:

    “in stitches”
    Nice to see them turning over a new Paige in parliament. Fortunately, he was found to still be breathing when set face up.

  134. 134
    Nelson's column says:

    Articulate but not that funny. Must be a low bar in the Commons.

    Blah blah – my constituency.. Blah blah… Wimmin’s issues… blah blah – penis, uniform.. ooh I can get away with that as I’m a woman… blah blah

    Vote UKIP

  135. 135
    Anonymous says:

    You forget the female agents of history.

  136. 136
    Jim says:

    She did. Did you not listen? Is it that you belong to one of the three reducing Parties?

  137. 137
    Inspector Clouseau says:

    Nice to see DD go in for the Jonah Bogy at 10.45….

  138. 138
    Sasi says:

    Surely it’s up to me whether I want to put myself in a situation that you couldn’t hack?

  139. 139
    Anonymous says:

    I’ve always found her very attractive, but watching this i found myself unable to tear my gaze away from that oily shite Davies, sneering and gurning behind her.

    While he’s alive, we can never forget they’re the nasty party, even though some of ‘em have great tits.

  140. 140
    Gee Whizz says:

    Believe it or not Jimmy some 10 years ago the SAS had a woman instructor. What did she teach – driving.

Seen Elsewhere

UKIP on 23% With Survation | Mirror
UKIP Could Deal With Dave | Douglas Carswell
Tories Would Lower Benefit Cap | Telegraph
Bashir Twitter Meltdown | Mirror
Bashir is a Wrong’un | Norman Tebbit
Natalie Bennett Says it Should Not be a Crime to Belong to ISIS | Indy
LibDems Fifth in London | Standard
45 Mirror Group Stories Linked to Phone-Hacking | Press Gazette
Dave’s Diet | Speccie
Pink’O’Flynn | HuffPo
Trojan Horse Destroying British Values | Nick Wood

Find out more about PLMR AD-MS

George Galloway says of his former Respect candidate the UKIP MEP turned Tory, Amjad Bashir…

“Clearly Bashir does not have any real political principles or commitment, only naked opportunism and self-interest. He represents the revolving door principle in politics. The Tories are welcome to him because he will cause them embarrassment. Fortunately Respect was able to act before he did it to us.”

Tip off Guido
Web Guido's Archives

Subscribe me to:


AddThis Feed Button

Guido Reads

Get every new post delivered to your Inbox.

Join 1,716 other followers