June 4th, 2014

WATCH: Dennis Skinner’s Black Rod Gag 2014


170 Comments

  1. 1
    Twampersand mk II says:

    Someone should smash him in the face with the mace.

  2. 2
    Bill Quango MP says:

    He ran out of jokes in 1974.

  3. 3
    Skinned Alive says:

    + googolplex

  4. 4
  5. 5
    Dennis Skinner says:

    I says what I think and I think what I says I say I say.
    Did yer hear me?
    I says what I..Zzzzzzzzz

  6. 6
    Skinned Alive says:

    Skinner IS a joke.

  7. 7

    Denis is something of a rarity – an honest socialist. He’s still a berk though.

  8. 8
    Skinned Alive says:

    The fact that Labour MPs clapped that pathetic joke sums up how wretched they are. Utter arseholes.

  9. 9
    Grammar School Boy says:

    Skinner, the working class hero in his bespoke sports jacket?

  10. 10
    Skinned Alive says:

    Bill, you’re always good with film related jokes. Got any for Skinner?

  11. 11
    Andrew Efiong says:

    The joke’s on Skinner. What a berk!

  12. 12
    Grammar School Boy says:

    Honest socialist???

    Oxymoron klaxon.

  13. 13
    still walking into darkness says:

    how dare he upset little Johnny’s big day

  14. 14
    Centre Parting says:

    Skinner gives plebs a bad name.

  15. 15
    Adam Boulton, fair and balanced says:

    I support Tony Blair as Euro President

    My wife Anji, his long suffering gatekeeper, says Toni is a classy gangster

  16. 16
    Andrew Efiong says:

    Sorry, this is the British parliament and UKIP are excluded. Come back when the topic is parish councils or the Strasburg parliament ;-)

  17. 17
    squeaker tweaker says:

    Why highlight this non event? I mean Skinner not me!

  18. 18
    Adam Boulton says:

    Testing

  19. 19
    Jack Dromey says:

    Black Rod gag is no laughing matter.

    I nearly choked to death.

  20. 20
    SIX UNARGUABLE REASONS TO VOTE UKIP says:

    Vichy ‘Dave’ says do not vote UKIP

    Revd Phoney £rd Fucking Way B£iar says do not vote UKIP

    Clag of the Limp Dims says do not vote UKIP

    Bully McBrhoon, failed PM and economic illiterate says do not vote UKIP

    ‘Bacon’ MilliBrane says do not vote UKIP

    Gormless Skinner + NUBoring Liars says do not vote UKIP

  21. 21
    squeaker tweaker says:

    Sitting in the House taking the money and barely camouflaging the “man of the people” act. Yep honest lol.

  22. 22
    David Cameron says:

    I will storm the beaches of Normandy

    To have dinner with Vladimir Putin

  23. 23
    John Charlton says:

    He’s got a lot to say for a man who still belongs to the Party which brought you illegal wars without end and national bankruptcy

  24. 24
    Anonymous says:

    +10000000000

  25. 25
    Dan Hodges the man with a plan says:

    Fuck off and let a young thrusting middle class Blairite have your seat you bed blocking c*nt.

  26. 26
    Patriot says:

    Keep the treacherous bastard away from them beaches – or drown the bugger there and then

  27. 27
    Anji Boulton says:

    I support Blair as Euro President

  28. 28
    Prime Minister David Cameron says:

    Nice montage of Dennis Skinner’s annual ritual of Queen’s Speech quips http://youtu.be/2bCSPGPQYLc

  29. 29
    Disgruntled Tory says:

    Said he was gonna retire at 65…..tick tock tick tock…..sucking on the public teat…..

  30. 30
    Didgeridon't says:

    So far, Rolferoo has said the following on the stand:

    He found his daughter’s 13 year old friend in a bikini sexy

    He has a dark side

    He’s good at hiding his dark side from others

    He told another of his daughter’s underage friends that he liked her curves

    Rolf is aware he’s on trial isn’t he?

  31. 31
    The Tit in No. 10 says:

    Oh! – So do I!

  32. 32
    The two Muppets says:

    What a moron .

  33. 33
    SS says:

    Skinner is the joke, who are the ignorant Hunt laughing at a non funny joke.

  34. 34
    Mycroft says:

    Same time as he ran out of ideas.

  35. 35
    Postal Votes are Labour Loo Paper says:

    Dinosaurs still stalk the earth. What a waste of space and public money the man is.

  36. 36
    Sensible Brit says:

    If Murdoch, Cameron and Guido are against Juncker

    He must be the right candidate

    Let’s get rid of British corruption, oligarchs and neocons…for good…

  37. 37
    Harbottle says:

    He’s a relic of the old Labour Party (and a complete phoney)-humoured, like an old uncle with dementia, by the privately educated and very wealthy boys and girls who run the party.

  38. 38
    IngSoc says:

    Well done Denis

  39. 39
    Postal Votes are Labour Loo Paper says:

    I support a trial for treason.

  40. 40
    Weirdo Gove says:

    I hate women in the Cabinet

    Murdoch has told me to attack my own side

  41. 41
    Freddie S says:

    Shut it Rolfe….

  42. 42
    Is Cable Nosferatu? says:

    Skinner is a grubby northern twat – a donkey voted in by tribal labour voting donkeys. The fool and his voters are an affront to democracy.

  43. 43
    Von Glogg says:

    who Guido?

  44. 44
  45. 45
    Another Welsh Windbag says:

    I always thought the Welsh electorate were dim in continuing to elect whichever donkey the Labour party decided to stick it’s rosette on.
    But I’m even more bewildered that the voters in Bolsover continue to sent his cretinous, boring old fart to Westminster time after time.

  46. 46
    Pub Landlord says:

    Only good thing Skinner did was vote against the Common Market.

  47. 47
    Normal Bloke says:

    So do I.

  48. 48
    Mr Anonymous says:

    The pageantry is all very nice for the tourists and stuff, but closing a bunch of roads means that the traffic in London has been a nightmare today. It’s not a good for business.

    Does the Queen refuse to work weekends, or something?

  49. 49
    Anonymous says:

    Skinner is not actually funny. Why are they laughing?

  50. 50
    Rolf Harris's Animal Hospital says:

    That joke was so lame if it was a horse it would have been shot.

  51. 51
    Anonymous says:

    Actually, parish council is an accurate description of the British parliament in the EU.

  52. 52
    Bill Quango MP says:

    One of our union dinosaurs is missing ?

  53. 53
    Revelling in the joys of bumsex says:

    Journalists get given a 105-page backgound briefing on Queens Speech – You can read it here –

    http://www.theguardian.com/politics/blog/2014/jun/04/queens-speech-2014-politics-live-blog#block-538efc31e4b01f4746396c09

    The bumsexers are in their element today.

  54. 54
    Jean Poole says:

    It may have something to do with the high level of in-breeding that characterises much of Labour’s heartland.

  55. 55
    Humour the old bastard? says:

    Tradition I hope

  56. 56
    bergen says:

    He’s just deployed as a stooge by Labour to try to kid people that they are still a party of cloth-capped , whippet-racing , horny handed sons of industry when they’ve been represented by career politicians since Sunny Jim’s time.

    He was once the Beast of Bolsover. Now he’s been neutered and he’s just the clown’s act at the circus.

  57. 57
    Wendi, admiring Blair's butt says:

    You have to be a lunatic or a bankster to live in London

    London is shit

  58. 58
    NorthCircular says:

    Nice one from Denis, if I had a secretary, no doubt Id be into the 5 star hotel scene too. Good luck lad.

  59. 59
    Sally says:

    I gagged…

  60. 60
    Each had a wooden horse says:

    Two little boyz had two little..

  61. 61
    Vatman says:

    Drinks all ’round

  62. 62
  63. 63
    Bill Quango MP says:

    Queen’s speech: Short version

    My government is going to faff about with a plastic bag tax and plain paper fag packets and other assorted, pointless tinkering as, despite what Mr Clegg said, 75% of our laws are made elsewhere.

  64. 64
    Dr Freud says:

    Zombie Government is good for vaseline sales

  65. 65
    Saint Vince says:

    I forgot to turn up this morning

    Did I miss something?

  66. 66
    Grimsdale - Village of Peace since cotton mill closed says:

    cloth-capped , whippet-racing , horny handed sons of industry

    Nay, lass, thou ave it wrong…

  67. 67
    Didgeridon't says:

  68. 68
    The Useless Beast says:

    Bolsover is a crap town anyway. They need a decent MP

  69. 69
    Rolferoo says:

    Tie me 12 year old down sport

  70. 70
    Back Blair 4 President says:

    We all love Toni

  71. 71
    Socialism is theft says:

    Not so much a zombie parliament as a zombie government now that the EU has cut the heart out of Westminster.

  72. 72
    ok says:

    Stasi 2.0

  73. 73
    The MP who said Women must Shag for Britain says:

  74. 74
    Skinned Alive says:

    Jurassic Park

    Reds

    No Country For Old Men

  75. 75

    When the time comes for someone to read his eulogy, it will be hard to find a single substantive benefit he has brought to the good of the country, his constituents or his place in history.

    He is about as effective as the accidental use of an aerosol toilet spray on a mosquito.

  76. 76
    ? says:

    Who else sat at the end of a bench talking bollocks?
    Forrest Gump

  77. 77
    +1 says:

    In One

  78. 78
    Socialism is theft says:

    Vote Liblabcon – vote for zombie governments.

  79. 79
    RichUpNorth says:

    Nah then, lad. Skinners not Northern, he’s from t’ Midlands. Can’t tha tell t’ difference?
    He’s also a knob. About time he was pensioned off.

  80. 80
    Lamb eater says:

    They produce good sheep though…

  81. 81
    Socialism is theft says:

    Juncker is more corrupt than the lot of them put together.

  82. 82
    Judge someone by their friends - Tony & Cherie? Cunts!!! says:

    https://twitter.com/francescrook/status/473936635692728320

  83. 83
    Bill Quango MP says:

    I told you. It is just possible that the gene that causes McMental levels of idiocy resides within Stella.

    Some say that Owen Jones offers better potential for finding a cure for Deluded Leftism, but I maintain Stella is of a whole order greater of mindnumbing-stupidity.

  84. 84
    The Joke skinner should have said says:

    Eh bl*ck rod,you come to see speakers wife?

  85. 85
    RichUpNorth says:

    “Tie me kangaroo down, sport …”
    If he’d stuck to kangaroos he wouldn’t be in the situation he’s in, would he?

  86. 86
    David Axelrod says:

    Empty Ed will be the next Prime Minister

    My Chicago focus group tells me so

    And President Omaha agrees

  87. 87
    A Year's sabatical for MPs says:

    So basically all MPs have been given a year off work to spend time campaigning for the 2015 election.

  88. 88
    Skinned Alive says:

    My biography of Dennis Skinner:

    Hunt.

    The End.

  89. 89
    Skinned Alive says:

    FFS, the c-unt/Hunt joke wore thin ages ago, Geedo.

  90. 90
    Hansard writer says:

    This ia a zombie Parliament

    The next Parliament will be zombie and hung…

  91. 91
    táxpáyér says:

    Come November we have a potemkin parliament.

  92. 92
    táxpáyér says:

    The Greedy, the bad and the Ugly.
    A fistfull of Euros.
    7 Grooms for 7 Brothers.

  93. 93
    Fatchers Ghost says:

    We all do here, True blues all the f[r]ackin way my son

  94. 94
    Max Clifford says:

    Cor Nigella and her Twin Towers still on the celeb circuit?

    Slap me

  95. 95
    Stella Creasy says:

    Beware phobes check under your bed they are everywhere Aaaaargh

  96. 96
    Mr James Brown says:

    Or he’s an illegal, which explains his anomininity.

  97. 97
    People like this should be put down says:

    A woman dialled 999 to request help in a row over the number of sprinkles on an ice cream.

    http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-england-birmingham-27687763

    Sometimes eugenics doesn’t sound such a bad idea.

  98. 98
    Churchhill Insurance says:

    We shall…. [whatever]

  99. 99
    Leroy, kitchen staff in D Wing says:

    Tonight for dinner we’ll be serving button mushrooms.

  100. 100
    Paul Gadd (GG) says:

    Any of me on you tube still?

  101. 101
    John junky says:

    love that MILF

  102. 102
    The Lone Ranger says:

    Vote UKIP – the idiot Skinner wont like it. :) :)

  103. 103
    táxpáyér says:

    The war was legal, parliament voted for it. Use another word to describe it but “illegal” is simply not true.

  104. 104
    Brummie50 says:

    Fcukin’ right.. one can get easily ripped off. It is however a matter for standards tradin’

  105. 105
    The Lone Ranger says:

    Pity – why not try again.

  106. 106

    Like UKIP :-D

  107. 107
    The Lone Ranger says:

    Like this :)

  108. 108
    táxpáyér says:

    How about some of the dross in a blue rosette that gets elected outside the M25.

    The party system is a cancer on democracy.

  109. 109
    Socialism is theft says:

    If anyone objects to EU commandments a guillotine bill be used.

  110. 110
    The Lone Ranger says:

    Like it :)

  111. 111
    The two Muppets says:

    In his own eyes Skinner thinks that he is a legend ,but he is and always
    has been a troughing socialist scumbag .

  112. 112
    nell says:

    Is he retiring at the 2015 election. It does appe ar to be time.

  113. 113
    NSA says:

    GCHQ?

  114. 114
    The Lone Ranger says:

    +1

  115. 115
    Disgruntled Tory says:

    Dennis the Penis

  116. 116
    squeaker tweaker says:

    No plastic bags? How will the chavs occupy themselves if they have no litter to thow on the pavements or out of towerblock windows?

  117. 117
    táxpáyér says:

    The “welfare” state is a form of dysgenics. Same amount of meddling just opposite effect, hampering of the fittest, breeding of the least useful.

  118. 118
    Jack says:

    Sunny on the Adriatic today SC?

    Any Ukrainian refugees yet?

  119. 119
    They keep on Trying...but nah.. says:

  120. 120
    Anonymous says:

    No, come to see Mr. Harman.

  121. 121
    Casual Observer 2 says:

    Up with Skinner.

    Down with all the career political t(u)rds that infest Westminster.

    Soon to be joined by the pathetic posh boy non-entity Jenrick no doubt. A classic CCHQ parachuted prat, and the fucking idiots in Newark look likely to vote him in.

  122. 122
    Tom Catesby says:

    Probably, but on this occasion he’s not far from the truth.

  123. 123

    1. Beautiful, at last.

    2. Not unless they have a bob or two.

  124. 124
    Pageboy to the Queen says:

    I fainted when I saw the LibDems…

  125. 125
    nell says:

    He needs to learn to spell first rather like edballs needs to learn to count.

  126. 126
    Stella Creasy says:

    We have the casual cut off your head/clitoris type sexism or the more serious perceived patronising comment made by a white male variety of sexism.

  127. 127
    Ed 'fliperty' Balls says:

    Twelveteen

  128. 128
    Anonymous says:

    Weapons Grade Twat

  129. 129
    The Hunchback of Kirkcaldy says:

    Is Clowne in his constituency?

  130. 130
    nell says:

    I see militwit and his pals have just learnt a new catchphrase ‘zombie government’.

    I thought at first they were getting ready to apologise for the zombie bunker years of gordonbrowns government, but no they were chucking it around parliament like confetti to complain that the Queens Speech had too few new laws in it.

    Funny I always thought less government and less laws would be a good thing especially after their 13 years of terror when we were inundated with a surfeit of both.

  131. 131
    Idon'tneednodoctor says:

    I suspect Skinner will keep on scrounging his £65k a year + expenses. The bloke is a total embarrassment.

  132. 132
    Labour is the nasty party . says:

    Skinner said that he would retire at 65 , but he is still sucking on the
    public teat all these years later .

  133. 133
    Cinna says:

    Toni Soprano?

  134. 134
    Dan Hodges the man with a plan says:

    Fuck no Chuka.Never send a tweet which links you to that mong Miliband.

  135. 135
    Anonymous says:

    Skinner IS a joke.

  136. 136
    Robert Generic says:

    All ready bought a little £2.5 million pad in Westminster.
    Not a bad step up from my common bread line roots.

  137. 137
    Paul, W2 says:

    He is an odious slime ball and everyone who laughs along should be ashamed. Parliament is supposed to be serious, especially in the presence of the Head Of State. No wonder youngsters have no respect for society when they see a cretin like this acting stupidly and childishly. It isn’t at all funny.

  138. 138
    Dangerous Brian says:

    Perhaps we should ask Swiss Toni to take up the mantle?

  139. 139

    Funny you should ask that but…

  140. 140
    Dangerous Brian says:

    Plenty of benefits money left over from buying lager and pizzas to pay for a few plastic carrier bags, or maybe they’ll still get them free from food banks, the poor forgotten victims that they are.

  141. 141
    Tonto says:

    Me ask Kemo-Sabe to repeat story Tonto missed about Black Dromey and the big, ethnic schlongs. It sound good.

  142. 142
    Lord Duckhouse of Pondlife says:

    Stella ‘shell a few kids out for Britain’ Creasy was complaining on The World At One that the spat between Gove and May was “unedifying”. Sure, not that the Brownites and Blairites would ever have been at loggerheads of course, or Balls-Up and Biffa Bacon…..

  143. 143
    plagurism is rife says:

    Skinner must have seen the i’s headline.

  144. 144
    PitPony says:

    While his constituents have to compete with the pride of Eastern Europe for minimum wage warehousing jobs down at Sports Direct, it is something that ought to be exercising the Skinner mind.

  145. 145

    Eeee! Dennis th’ Menace, innit! Tnuc!!!!

  146. 146
    Anonymous says:

    If anyone gets the chance to read Black Rod’s Fathers pre war and war antics, I would recommend a bloody good read.

  147. 147
    Fred the pensioner says:

    Good idea. They’ll do far less harm to us away from the HoC.

  148. 148
    Fred the pensioner says:

    … a phrase picked up (of course) by Sky news and repeated endlessly by the mongoloid presenters. Zombies – suits them perfectly.

    By the way, what was he name of the chunky presenter in the brown top with her little pointy things visible through the cotton?

  149. 149
    Mark Worthless says:

    This sad old fool just ain’t funny anymore

  150. 150
    Andrew says:

    Skinner is lazy – he avoids all committee work – and vain – no matter which Member is speaking and on what subject he thinks everyone wants to hear from him. He was never very funny and now he is just sad.

  151. 151
    Parasite Watch says:

    “In his own eyes Skinner thinks that he is a legend ,but he is and always
    has been a troughing socialist scumbag .”

    I think that is the most accurate comment ever made about Skinner.
    +1,000,000 (postal votes).

  152. 152
    The Timerunner says:

    He is a legend. A legendary twat. As funny as Ebola as sharp as a football, and as charming as stepping in dog shit.

  153. 153

    Call Lord Hezza !!!!!!

  154. 154

    GENERAL CUSTER SAYS

    You Little Big Horn !!

  155. 155
    nick says:

    Skinner has always been a stupid sad old man. He has spent years doing-nothing and getting paid for it-much like all the rest of Labour. Hes the sort of guy you like to punch-repeatedly.

  156. 156

    DENNIS SAYS

    I am a Union man
    Grateful for what I am
    And I says what I think
    That the bosses all stink
    Coz I m a Union man!

  157. 157

    No Gary

    Your ” body” of work has been transferred to PIE

  158. 158
    Anonymous says:

    Skinner is a cupid stunt! So thick that he doesn’t consider that he is a laughing stock

  159. 159
    Anonymous says:

    Skinner is a total twat

  160. 160
    geordieboy says:

    I thought the Beast of Bolsover was one of those escaped weird circus animals.

  161. 161
    Holly says:

    ‘The beast of Bolsover’ eh?
    Just another bod who has sucked his living off the back of the taxpayer.
    He sits in the HoC with no real knowledge of who or what he is meant to be a representative of.
    He is not funny, he is a truly typical lefty. Lacking in respect for our traditions and pomp, yet has happily sat there year in, year out, making his vindictive, spiteful jibes about the ‘Tories’ and their wealthy mates, yet said nowt when the likes of Blair and Bozo were in government sucking up to the bankers.

  162. 162
    John Charlton says:

    There was no threat to the nation, Blair knew this and WMD has since been proven to be a lie. Parliament was hoodwinked by Blair. Therefore, it was regime change. Even Blair admits this now and insists he’d do it again, indeed he wanted war on Libya & Syria very recently. Regime change of another sovereign nation is illegal under International Law.
    But the main fact is is One Million people lie dead! Whole lot of suffering & misery all caused by Blair and his lies. And Skinner remained a member of Blair’s throughout. Yeah, very funny I don’t think.

  163. 163
    Halal Pork Pie says:

    Bloody hell… He had a whole year to think up a joke and THAT’S all he could come up with?

    The grumpy old twat is a humour black hole!

  164. 164
    Anonymous says:

    “The government’s run out of laws, Skinner’s run out of jokes…”
    And if Nigel would only pull his proverbial finger out. Party politics will have run out of gags, with which to silence the voice of the majority.

  165. 165
    Anonymous says:

    Please! He had a year to think of something clever to say and that’s the best the senile old twat could come up with?

  166. 166
    Bob cuntface crow says:

    His time is approaching,mine has.

  167. 167
    Bob cuntface crow says:

    It has four ears,two are ears and two are sort of back up ears.

  168. 168
    Mrs Havisham says:

    It is still funnier than anything anyone else will come up with. Current cop of politicos aren’t bright enough for a sense of humour.

  169. 169
  170. 170
    UK Voter. says:

    Skinner is simply bed blocking and keeping a better person out of a job.
    This silly man should retire disgracefully.


Seen Elsewhere

Beeb Bias is Counterproductive | Nicholas Booth
Bercow Blames Colleagues for Clerk Mess | Guardian
Tony Benn Too Left-Wing For Soviet Union | Telegraph
Mrs Danczuk’s Festive Treat | Sun
Hollande Forced to Ditch Super-Tax | Mail
1 in 3 Back UKIP Over Chinky-Gate | Breitbart
Ed Miliband Taken Hostage | Worcester News
This Brilliant Coalition, Apart from Craig Oliver | Peter Oborne
Digital Politics: Standing Still Faster | Rafael Behr
After David Cameron, the Tories are Stuffed | Dan Hodges
John Humphrys Admits Skewed BBC Coverage | David Keighley


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