June 2nd, 2014

Tough on Guido, Tough on the Causes of Guido

Following today’s launch of the Guido Fawkes parliamentary bullying hotline, one young hopeful gets in touch to share their experience of bossy Luciana Berger:

“I was once interviewed by Luciana for an assistant role. Part of the interview task was setting out how you would advise Luciana if a story about her was published by Guido. Very good task, in hindsight.”

Guido hopes the unlucky assistants currently working in Luciana’s office haven’t had too rough a day…


  1. 1
    Basingstoke Commuter Alliance says:


  2. 2
    Esther says:

    Contact ChildLine anytime – calls are free and confidential

    Phone ChildLine 0800 1111

  3. 3
    Andrew Efiong says:

    Aha, you can run but you can’t hide from Guido! Once he latches his crosshairs on the subject there’s only one ending.

    Guido’s offices must have more scalps than Sitting Bull’s teepee.

  4. 4
    'Dave' - an expert PR cum lying bullshitter says:

    Follow the example of me and my Master, – Tone! . . namely, tell the sheeple want they want to hear – they’ll forget – and so will you.

  5. 5
    suissebob says:

    What is it about these sad pathetic dweebs that the moment they get their grubby little mitts on any power they then immediately start to abuse it.

    Ed Miliband is a bully, a Gordon Brown mini-me, if he gets into power be afraid, be very afraid.

  6. 6
    ypants poser in pi55poor campaign says:

    I didn’t know that Chris Bryant is running the Labour campaign in Newark.

    It’s likely to be pants then.

  7. 7
    Botus says:

    Sitting Bull? LOL Which one’s that??

  8. 8
    Proofreader General says:

    Bulling hotline?

  9. 9
    we all know says:

    How does Lucky Luciana get away with it?

    Who protects her from being sacked?

  10. 10
    Ed Miliband's nasaly whine says:

    I can imagine many many things, but I cannot picture that little dweeb as a bully.

  11. 11
    The Parson says:

    What’s this got to do with Luciana Berger mistreating MPs?

    Looks like they have broadband in Rampton these days!

  12. 12
    Islam & Co says:

    Death to the West.

    And now over to Lucy for the weather.

  13. 13
    Little Ed's whiny nasaly voice says:

    I preach about a cost of living crisis (endlessly), despite having a £2.5million house (paid for by you), having a household income of £400K and despite not having the vaguest f*cking idea how much a typical family spends each week on groceries.

    Hypocrisy; it’s in a socialist’s DNA.

  14. 14

    Following David Cameron’s recent Foreign Policy successes, what could go wrong ???

    Vote UKIP :-D

  15. 15
    Hadley "Screaming Banshee" Freemann says:


    Guido is part of patriarchal r.a.p.e culture. Him criticising a progressive MP female minority female ethnic like Berger who lives an oppressed life like me (yes I’m going to the world cup for free, yes I am still oppressed by the patriarchy) means he is no different from the male man who killed those women in California. #angrywhitemen

    Trigger Warning. Trigger Warning. Angry white men. Retweet Laurie Penny, Caroline Criado-Perez and Cathy Newman.

    Trigger Warning.

    Sexist whittle males are all the same.

    Biology is sexist. How dare a male doctor say fertility drops after 35? #hatefacts Part of r.a.p.e. culture, just like Guido.

  16. 16
    Bill Quango MP says:

    Luciana to voters: You better vote for me…You won’t like me when I’m angry!

    Voters : We don’t like you now.

  17. 17
    Bill Quango MP says:

    Guido is going to be drummed out of the sisiterhood.

  18. 18
    Get Rid of Scotland says:

    Labour’s entitlement culture is plain to see.

  19. 19
    Slick Willy says:

    I heard she has slid her way up (and then down?) the odd greasy pole?

    Is the Ed Moribund and Chucka “Trash” Umummanam?

  20. 20
    Jackass spotter says:

    You are onky 24 hours behind the curve, sunshine..

    But this is another Cameron pants down ..and bend over….

    What a jackass…

    Do you think he will invite Prince Charley to meet “Hitler”?

    Or bomb Syria alongside O’bama, to create another Libya?

  21. 21
    Nigel Sportscoat says:

    I think Dave and Obama and Putin should team up, just like in the old days of 1945. Russia can take over every country from Moscow to the Rhine. UK and the Yanks will have Western Europe and Greece, divided up between us.

    End of the EU, Job done.

  22. 22
    A peasant revolting says:

    Guido is not sexist

    He treats these disgraceful politicians with even handed disdain

    Actually, I think these men AND women deserve far worse treatment

  23. 23
    The Bog Standard Labour Party says:

    Berger is a thicko, self absorbed arsewipe!

  24. 24
    Anonymous says:

    Cameron, tell the midget to stop backing Argentina on the falklands.

  25. 25

    Bloody hell!

    I bet Vlado must be bricking himself in anticipation at having to negotiate with Cast Iron…

  26. 26

    I’m not in the slightest bit sexist.

    But I would not shag her if she was the last female on the planet. The human race would just have to die out as far as I’m concerned…

  27. 27
    EeeYepBlowing Whistles says:

    If she’s got dirt on chuka and chuka’s got dirt on her – which news corporation might just have the dirt on both of them??? [Ponder it for a while]

  28. 28
    Luciana's Burger says:

    Listen you little fuckers.

    I had to go down on Sion Simon to get this job. My gag reflex was more heavily suppressed than Chilcot.

    I have to listen to MC Mediocrity boasting about his fucking ugly big watch collection every goddamn day.

    I did Euan Blair. Euan. Fucking. Blair.

    So do forgive me if I abuse some little peon who thinks they are going to take my little ride on the gravy train one day.

  29. 29
    EeeYepBlowing Whistles says:

    Is he of lower caste or upper caste Iron.y!

  30. 30

    It may be a typo.

    Shitting Ball’s peepee?

  31. 31
    Dr Freud said all women suffered from penis envy says:

    Now that Cast Iron hss no army left

    I am told he will send in Pussy Riot before their dinner

    Our Vlad can then have them horsewhipped by his Cossacks to give Cast Iron a hardon…

  32. 32

    Not bad, for you. ;-)

    Don’t say I’m not the ultimate in generosity…

  33. 33
    Gordon McBreath says:

    What does she mean she DID Euan Blair? Did what?

  34. 34
    Slick Willy says:

    Are we allowed to say we would rather shag Luciana Berger than the odious Hadley Freeman?

  35. 35
    Chuka ( you can call me Harrison ) Urmunneyaround says:

    What about me ?

  36. 36
    jgm2 says:

    Apparently Bercow is a bully. Which is also difficult to believe. Why doesn’t somebody just flatten the fucker? Get a few drinks inside Ed Joyce and point him in the right direction.

  37. 37
    Ed Twelvety Balls says:

    My favourite number is eleventeen.

  38. 38
    Abused barman at Strangers' says:

    Just my thoughts…

  39. 39
    Luciana's Burger says:

    Are you the one I’m banging right now? The shiny topped one?

    Oh, you are just greeeat.

  40. 40
    Bored of Labour tarts says:

    We hear you Juicy Lucy, those of us who know you best empathise and appreciate that you’ve had to suffer more pricks than Eric Bristow’s dartboard (in more ways than one). Unfortunately for one as hungry as you are untalented the only way forward appears to be continuing to put your ankles behind your ears until your overplayed looks wear off. I expect you used that sixth former Euan like a pipe cleaner and it was truly a charitable act in performing as “camouflage” for Chuka.

    PS are you friends with Sally Bercow, I hear she’s a prominent camp-follower too.

  41. 41
    EeeYepBlowing Whistles says:

    Some people out there in iternetland can read for themselves


    i say no more … just fucking read and try to think and read between the lines – of what you know and ought not to forget. The bliars hand involved again – and bliar went off to do business with the Vatican – how convenient was that?

  42. 42
    A little honour says:

    You mean you would prefer even to lift a shirt SC rather than honour the wench?

    Shame on you?

  43. 43
    Ed Balls Soon 2B a Summertime Sales Manager says:

    I have been humiliated at Bilderbin and now stroppy customers refuse to shake my hand.

    I think I will change my name?

    Suggestions! Please

  44. 44
    Long John Silver's parrot says:

    It is a trick question.

    The smart answer is “I have never heard of Guido Fawkes”.

  45. 45
    Chuka says:

    Been there, done that.

  46. 46
    Roger Helmer says:

    My car has no engine. But at least it gets me from A to A.

  47. 47
    suissebob says:

    Fuckers wouldn’t last five minutes in a public bar.

  48. 48
    BBC left wing Pro European Parasitical Propaganda says:

    The Tories do NOT want an in/out referendum. The Tories do NOT want an in/out referendum. The Tories do NOT want an in/out referendum. The Tories do NOT want an in/out referendum. The Tories do NOT want an in/out referendum. The Tories do NOT want an in/out referendum. The Tories do NOT want an in/out referendum. The Tories do NOT want an in/out referendum. The Tories do NOT want an in/out referendum. The Tories do NOT want an in/out referendum. The Tories do NOT want an in/out referendum. The Tories do NOT want an in/out referendum. The Tories do NOT want an in/out referendum. The Tories do NOT want an in/out referendum.

  49. 49
    Hannibal from Carthage says:

    What has anything here to do with Ewan Blair, Eric Bristow or Chukka whatever his name is?

    If there is something we should know about in the public interest then please come out with it loud and clear.

  50. 50

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Boris on British Jihadis. Apparently based on MI5 intel:

“If you look at all the psychological profiling about bombers, they typically will look at porn. They are literally w***ers. Severe onanists. They are tortured. They will be very badly adjusted in their relations with women, and that is a symptom of their feeling of being failures and that the world is against them. They are not making it with girls, and so they turn to other forms of spiritual comfort — which of course is no comfort.”

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