June 2nd, 2014

Newark Responds to Mass Immigration of Politicians


  1. 1
    Tom Daley says:

    Vote Ukip!

  2. 2

    Vote UKIP :-D

  3. 3
    Egg Miliband says:

    Never happened to me

  4. 4
    Son of Leon says:

    Egged on ?

  5. 5
    Diana Abbott says:

    Will dem egg be fried before dem bein trone?

  6. 6
    Vote LibLabCon, get Sharia. says:

    Comments on the previous story are closed, but..

    has anyone else noticed that ‘Luciana Berger’ is an anagram of ‘incurable rage’?

  7. 7
    Helmer's Mayonnaise says:

    He likes to dish it out but can’t take it!

  8. 8
    Vote LibLabCon, get Sharia. says:

    Apart from the n, which I’ve just noticed.

  9. 9
    Bus-Pass Elvis Party, Militant Elvis Anti-Tesco Popular Front, Elvis Defence League, Elvis Turns Gre says:

    Nick Clegg promises LibDems ‘Krakatoa moment’ in Newark after Euro election ‘earthquake’. What’s left for 2015 breakthrough: Yucatan meteor?

  10. 10
    BBC employee mounts political campaign on Twitter says:

    Stephen Fry organises Boycott of a legal business and put jobs of ordinary people at risk.

    “Stephen Fry was among the first British stars to announce he was joining the campaign, tweeting that he had cancelled his stay at Coworth Park.”


  11. 11
    Vote LibLabCon, get Sharia. says:

    No – my bad. It’s in there.

  12. 12
    Sadiq Khan 4 Mayor says:

    Egged? Then claim the dry cleaning on expenses!

  13. 13
    Their last resort is now to Lie and Smear and Distort the truth says:

    He does not have to take lies. And that is the difference only the LibLabCon can’t see.

  14. 14
    Vote LibLabCon, get Sharia. says:

    Extinction Level Event.

  15. 15
    Norm Normal says:

    Blar Speech summary:
    We wunt to see this,
    We wunt to see that,
    We wunt to see what we wunt to see,
    We dunt wunt to see Chilcot.
    Europe is good for me, good for failed labour politicians and good for you plebs too.
    Why am I here, where is Militwit? Why isn’t he setting out policy?

  16. 16
    Ed Moribund says:

    someone check how much a kilo of eggs cost.
    And in pounds, not Euros , this time please.

  17. 17
    Observant says:

    Will Cleggies head explode when the Dribblems lose their deposit.

  18. 18
    Casual Observer 2 says:

    Hard boil the egg before you stuff it up Dave’s arse.

  19. 19
    tabblenabble02 says:

    Looks like it was kosher all along!

  20. 20
    Anyone want to see my poll lead! says:

    Roger Helmer completely wrong person if UKIP wanted to win. Which tells me just like Labour they do not. By becoming the establishment you see theyd actually be destroyed.

    Truth is nobody really wants to win 2015, not really anyway. We are not out of economic woes yet although in my view Tories would fonish job Labour would take us right back to 2009 and worse!

  21. 21
    ed milliband peoples representitive of somewhere up north i have to visit every now and again says:

    british eggs for british shirkers!!!

  22. 22
    Mark says:

    He’ll get done for inciting a hate crime.

    Mark my words.

  23. 23
    Vote for ME! says:

    Of course I’ll still love you on Friday morning.

  24. 24
    Stephen Fry says:

    Go to shirk on an egg?

  25. 25
    Vince the paranoid android says:

    I can prevent Vesuvius going off.

    I can.. vote for Vince..but secretly. Behind closed doors.

  26. 26
    LMFAO! says:

  27. 27
    Tower Hamlets resident says:

    Fear of being stoned to death by an angry mob cured my homosexuality.

  28. 28
    Lucky Luciana says:

    Has she set her lawyers onto Guido, hence the comments being closed on that thread? Everyone knows she’s shagged her way up the political ladder.

  29. 29
    tigerowl says:

    Well if he said those remarks what is he moaning about? He said them because he feels those are the comments he needs to make to attract HIS and UKIP voters. debate of the gutter.

  30. 30
    Greek Omlette says:

  31. 31
    Ivan says:

    In the Ukraine we use grenades, works better.

  32. 32
    Chicken Run says:

    Just as well they are free Range eggs. He’d get done for assault and battery otherwise.

  33. 33
    Norm Normal says:

    Good luck Mr Fry. I was at University with one of the Sultan’s minions.
    The Sultan is so wealthy and shares the nation’s riches so generously with his subjects, this is one campaign that is doomed to failure.
    Whilst piously muslim, the Culture in Brunei is very different to the middle east. They are muslims that are polite, non violent and easy to get along with. Difficult to believe such a thing exists but true.
    Just don’t expect them to drink, fornication like LibDems or accept bumsex in their country.

  34. 34
    Not the Police because they don't do normal policing any more says:

    When I were a lad that would constitute “incitement to violence”.


  35. 35
    compare the smearcats says:

    It’s only the lies that say he dishes it out, you fucking moron.

  36. 36
    compare the smearcats says:

    They are lies – just Cameron’s Black Ops team doing their disgusting job.

  37. 37
    anarchists organising? says:

    Didn’t he have a good sense of humous?

  38. 38
    The sultan of Swing says:

    My boss used to work for the Sultan and you are correct, he is one of the good guys, universally liked and respected.

  39. 39
    Mallard, not a ducky says:

    This is true. Brunei is one of the most content nations on earth.

    Largely because they believe in their own culture and stick to it, and insist immigrants, of which there are few, do the same.

    Fry and his ilk are so tolerant of other cultures, except when they disagree with them – which is so fucking ironic it almost makes one whisper the phrase “degenerate fucking hypocrite”.

  40. 40
    Vote for ME! says:

    Hethethethethetheth sminky-pinky David Cameron bad boys!

  41. 41
    Piss off Fry says:

    It’s a big world and the huge majority of it doesn’t revolve around a homosexuals anus.
    If Fry feels so strongly then he should raise a pink army and invade all the bumsex unfriendly nations he doesn’t like.

  42. 42
    Norm Normal says:

    Stopped you going out to vote to?

  43. 43
    Edddie Izzarface says:

    Go to smirk on an agg.

  44. 44
    Cameron's Black Ops says:

    Only if the eggs are targetted at anything other than UKIP.

  45. 45
    Al Bumen and the Eggs-Files says:

    The UK is now full of eggs-Lib Dem MEPs and eggs-Lib Dem councillors.

  46. 46
    Norm Normal says:

    Blue Ops! Black Ops is racist.

  47. 47
    Tower Hamlets resident says:

    No need, my father works for the Royal Mail

  48. 48
    Taxfodder says:

    Expensive old eggs in Newark, out here in the sticks they are no more than 1.70 a dozen, far less if you have the odd hen or two.

    Plus ain’t we fed up throwing good money after politicians?

    I would suggest stones for throwing, plenty free just laying around and they tend not to crack on impact er…well not the stones anyway.

  49. 49
    Bosun Higgs says:

    That would seem reasonable.

  50. 50
    The Growler says:

    WOW, is that a packed high street in Dave’s wonderful new Conner economy, I just cannot believe it, how are they managing to walk past each other, has Dave Boy been to show his support for the parachuted one yet and to see the effects on the high on his wonderful economic policies? Vote UKip

  51. 51
    Robert Jenrick says:

    Help! My parachute has snagged on the church weathercock! At least I am out of egging range.

  52. 52
    Ka-Boom! says:

    Political Fukushima

  53. 53
    Dangerous Brian says:

    I only have one rule where the champion c*nt Fry is concerned.
    If he disagrees with something then I’m all for it.
    BBC money, ie mine, has made this bufoon into a “national treasure”.
    The stupid vapid tw*t must be laughing all the way to the bank while telling us lesser mortals in the plebocracy what we should and shouldn’t do and what we should and shouldn’t like.
    Typical snot nosed socialist ivory tower dwelling tosser, he should keep his stupid opinions to himself, nobody gives a flying fart what he thinks, says or does.

  54. 54
    Ms Dromey says:

    weather what?

  55. 55
    The Growler says:

    Shouldn’t that ” sminky-pinky” read smirky-pinky? Just asking

  56. 56
    The Growler says:

    They were used to that for years.

  57. 57
    Bog Paper says:


    How do you solve a problem like Europe? Former prime minister Tony Bliar has to go, suggesting Britain should lead on reform in Brussels, while current leader David Cameron gets into an EU spat.

    Wish he’d f’in butt out.

  58. 58
    IWish says:

    Perhaps they seem expensive, but they’re HARD boiled

  59. 59
    Bog Paper says:

    Ahh, but you’re not out of range of flying t u r d s.

  60. 60
    The Growler says:

    Shouldn’t “british eggs for british shirkers!!! “, british eggs for British politicos!!!

  61. 61
    The Growler says:

    I wonder if his magnificence Dave will appear at Newark, he might be having second thoughts because he doesn’t like egg on his face.

  62. 62
    Greek Omlette says:


  63. 63
    The Growler says:

    Cock dear, cock because the wind indicator was usually a cock, no rude comments please

  64. 64
    Mycroft says:

    You are right in every respect except one, sadly rather a lot of people think he is too smart to be wrong and they do take note of what he says, he’s a national treasure, so let’s bury him.

  65. 65
    Norma Stitz says:

    I was going to volunteer to be stomped all over by her high heels, but alas could not post – Guido must have had a threat of some sort.

  66. 66
    Miley Cyrus says:

    Go to twerk on an egg.

  67. 67
    Nigel Farage says:

    I want Dave in Newark his presence will ensure the CONservatives lose Ho Ho.

  68. 68
    RightwinggitRedux says:

    I thought J0oesses were meant to be good looking?

    The last time I saw a face like that, it was parked on an Arab guys gauntlet, as he went hunting….

  69. 69
    Necrophiliac Dating Agency-Just Where Do They Dig These People Up From? says:

    The Spanish Flu Political Pandemic?

  70. 70
    World Traveller says:

    Yup, it sure is. I worked in that boring shithole briefly some time ago.

    Th sultan is so fuckin’ popular that he had to rule under a permanent State of Emergency for the better part of 30 years. Normally when a country is under those conditions their government is excluded from international meetings etc, but for some reason this did not seem to apply to Hassanal.

    Wonderful what money and oil can do innit?

  71. 71
    The Rim Groper says:

    Do I recall Mike Harding telling a story about someone having a “Krakatoa” moment in their outside lavatory after a long period of constipation and a bottle of Argarol? Wasn’t it the same “uncle” who used to occupy the same lavatory seat suffering with piles? How can a man with piles love God?

  72. 72
    The Rim Groper says:

    Unlike Mr Fry who is universally despised but manages to stretch a point and love himself.

  73. 73

    I can get FIFTEEN for £1.15 in Lidl…and that s in London !!

    Probably buys them for 50 pence the whole box in Newark and proceeds to retire to Mustique on the profits .

  74. 74

    er … hello ?

    he took a bit of time to actually get the message and vacate the studio …unlike his partner whose feet did not touch ..
    more power to him though ..he came back with just his shirt to finish his diatribe .

  75. 75

    Again …I’ m sorry ? ” ..shagged her way up …”

    They must be desperate at Artillery Mansions SW1 if that s the best
    they can cobble together for night time succour .
    Personally would not touch her with ten interconnected bargepoles.

    Guido rightly prefixed his phrasing , the NOT SO LOVELY …etc
    or similar .

    Spot on !

  76. 76

    Krakatoa moment ?

    Is he going to release 35 years worth of pent up “petard” ??

  77. 77

    Yes indeed . Ask the Qatari Football Association

  78. 78

    yeah …. starting with Russia where they ll probably chop his bum off … …

  79. 79

    I ve said already …. £1.15 for fifteen retail price at Lidl for ” British zeggs ” or about 8 p each say 5p each wholesale.

  80. 80

    ….an egg weighs about an ounce so 16 ounces = one lb . so roughly 115 p retail PER LB.(15 eggs)

    there are 2.205 lbs in one kilo so £2 .53 PER KILO RETAIL .

    Say about 50 percent mark up from farm cost so say £1.66 PER KILO EX FARM .

    ( Don t read this if your are in politics and /or a mandarin in a financially responsible position at The Treasury as it will be totally above your head )

  81. 81


    Be a berk with an egg

  82. 82

    Well … you ve got to break eggs to make an onelette ..

  83. 83
    Anonymous says:

    Only in the same way that Scotland is theoretically at war with Russia.

    Don’t let facts get in the way of a good tale though.

  84. 84
    The Galloping-mad Gourmet says:

    Recipe for the celebrated dish “Eggs Miliband”:-

    Contact Mr Axelblum and make absolutely bloody sure that this has his approval. On no account even consider unlocking the fridge.
    Having established that there are no eggs in the house, get permission from Mr Axelstiff to go to the shop. This is refused.
    “Eggs Miliband” is off.

  85. 85
    Joe Bloggs. says:

    Interesting. This morning when the BBC stated that politicians were inundating Newark market I said an enterprising person could set up a rotten egg and tomato stall to throw at their least favourite politician.
    My choice was the Dennis Skinner, the Beast of Ballsover who was at that time swanning through the market.

  86. 86
    Joe Bloggs. says:


  87. 87
    Joe Bloggs. says:

    Ground zero basement

  88. 88
    ned ludd says:

    All we are saying is give some c’nt an egg.

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