June 2nd, 2014

Flapping Tories Threaten Candidates in Last Ditch Newark Bid


In further proof that the Tories are in a bit of a flap about Newark, the party chairman has just threatened the six hundred wannabe Tory MPs that they will be booted off the approved candidates list if they do not campaign ahead of Thursday’s poll. In an email seen by Guido, Shapps warns:

“As you know, a condition for being on the candidates list is the requirement to campaign in by-elections. Having spent 10 years on the list myself, I know that this expectation is no different from that which will be expected from you as an MP. Candidates who do not assist at by-elections without good reason may put themselves at risk of being removed from the list of approved candidates. … As a possible Parliamentary candidate, the Party is looking to you to show leadership and to support it in this critical by-election.”

They will not be able to throw this much effort at every seat UKIP are targeting this time next year…


  1. 1
    Shooty* says:

    … or you could try… y’know… being a little bit Right Wing like you’re meant to be.

    Or is that just “populism” these days?

  2. 2
    A Fishy Story says:

    Harriet & Ed go all the way to Newark to buy Fish?

  3. 3
    Tory Candidate says:

    But if I’m in Newark whose going to make Osborne’s coffee?

  4. 4
    eels says:

    Looks like Tony Blairs younger brother.

  5. 5
    dai wondering says:

    and that’s ‘leadership’?

  6. 6
    UKIP Put Britain First says:

  7. 7
    Lady Harriet Harman III says:

    So this is where the scum buy their food

  8. 8
    Sam Gyimah MP says:

    Dave meets a black man in Newark

  9. 9
    A question for black-cock-loving-spouses woman says:

    Oh my cod Harriet.
    Are you sure that you bought the fish to eat, and not to mask the stench that emanates from yourself?

  10. 10
    Who's playing pop? says:

    Is that Cheggers on the rleft?

  11. 11
    Sam Gyimah MP says:

    It turns out that the black man who Dave met is a Tory MP and a flag flying Europhile.

  12. 12
    Sarah Millington says:

    Perhaps Harmperson would like the fish PIE instead?

  13. 13
    You got any change luv? says:

    I see that Ed is asking Harriet for cash to pay for his items.
    Typical Labour.

  14. 14
    Steve Miliband says:

    They will be battered

  15. 15
    Did the people of Newark have prior warning of this visit? says:

    The store looks deserted except for the loonies.

  16. 16
    Alas, Poor Albion says:

    The black guy’s never had so much attention in his life. And, likely, will not experience it ever again.

  17. 17
    bubble says:

    Given they had 50%+ of the vote at the 2010 election you’d think they’d have plenty of local volunteers.

  18. 18
    Who would live in a house like this when they're not in the mental hospital? says:

    Where’s Lloyd Grossman?

  19. 19
    Harriett Dromey ten minutes later says:

    Its not me its Jack. Its a poo smell and I don’t understand the sweetcorn bits!

  20. 20
    Attila The Hen says:

    I’m glad you’ve published this. I was about to write a massive snottagram to Shapps. He may forget that the good candidates are people who would be far senior to him in the private sector and don’t need to be spoken to like this.

  21. 21
    Mr Jack Harman says:

    Harriet knows her Plaice.

  22. 22
    Steve Miliband says:

    The future of British politics, Roger Helmer and Neil Hamilton, oh dear God

  23. 23
    Harriet, the Eagles, Yvette, etc says:

    That bush certainly needs trimming.

  24. 24
    The most amusing claim ever ? says:

    What’s Ed Balls doing next to him ?

  25. 25
    NBeale says:

    Both main parties are quite right to be campaigning hard in Newark. It is the best chance of pricking the UKIP bubble.

    Credit also (for once) to Ed Miliband for putting a real effort in here – I think he’d genuinely prefer a Conservative hold to a UKIP win and quite right. I suspect it will be quite close.

  26. 26
    What name is Shapps using next? says:

    Oh for the Tories to lose.

  27. 27
    Dave says:

    Why can’t they get it trimmed on their expenses?

  28. 28
    Labour spokesperson says:

    It was staged managed.

    Nipped in before opening hours with local volunteers to acted as shoppers and staff. Nothing wrong with that.

    Brown dreaded meeting any public person.

  29. 29
    Dream on says:

    yes but this time next year, the Tory voters will actually bother to vote, especially with the threat of back-dooring Millitwat into number 10

  30. 30
    Oh NBeale, are you OK? says:


    ‘Credit also (for once) to Ed Miliband’

    Jeez, hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha

  31. 31
    Nigel says:

    Is it a Romanian safe house?

  32. 32
    Anonymous says:

    They’ve woken up and now smell the fear.

  33. 33
    Elvis has entered the building says:

  34. 34
    Mad Franky Hollande says:

    The Conservatives just need to beam a Batman-like image into the skies depicting Ed Miliband and Ed Balls walking in Downing Street.

    CON GAIN guaranteed!

  35. 35
    Greek Omlette says:

    So the pompous tw@at Jenrick must have been put forward to go onto the list when he was 12!

  36. 36
    Real World says:

    Unlike him, they probably still have proper jobs to go to

  37. 37
    Nigel Farage says:


    I love the smell of LibLabCon fear.

  38. 38
    Taxfodder says:

    Trouble is real Tory’s are voting UKIP these days

    The Tories in government ain’t true Tory’s not by a long chalk…..

  39. 39
    Neil Hamilton not Robert Kilroy-Silk says:

    Don’t forget fragrant Christine

  40. 40
    Witty Moniker says:

    Is Shapps actually going to turn up himself this time? Unlike the Sunday before last when, after demanding that candidates turn up on a Sunday morning, he demonstrated his solidarity with the troops by … being elsewhere.

    If so, then it’s another f.o. from me. Stuff your bloody list, I have a life.

  41. 41
    Standing room only at the UKIP venue says:

  42. 42
    Guffaws says:


    It is funny see an ex-Tory MEP claim he can bring a revolution.

    UKIP are hilarious and so are all their troll posters. Good for a laugh every day!

  43. 43
    Witty Moniker says:

    Is that supposed to be Jimmy Saville? Then he and the Lib Dems are distinguishable, no?

  44. 44
    If it fooks off Blair then it must be good says:

    Blair accuses Farage of ‘stigmatising’ foreigners to win over angry white working class voters.

  45. 45
    Odd Balls says:

    Was it Red Herring by any chance?

  46. 46
    ! says:

    any migrants?

  47. 47
    Vox pop says:

  48. 48
    Anyone know of a local bbc I could drool over says:

    Jack knows his met and 2 veg.

  49. 49
    Witty Moniker says:

    UKIP eh? What a great cross-section of the age demographic they’ve got there.

  50. 50
    the braintree ripper says:

    Get out and canvass for tax dodging man of the people 4 houses Jenrick

    I wonder if Jenrick is doing a Tower Hamlets and vooting from each room of his many houses?

  51. 51
    Nick says:

    They have taken our voters

  52. 52
    Witty Moniker says:

    Neil Hamilton is a UKIPper eh? New kind of politics eh? You couldn’t make it up.

  53. 53
  54. 54
    Son of Jenrick says:

    My father has many houses

  55. 55
    Michael Green says:

    They get holidays surely !?!

  56. 56
    Guffaws says:

    Cashier: would you like cashback?
    Balls: lend me twenty quid, I’ll pay it back

  57. 57
    just asking says:

    Was it to make a fish pie?

  58. 58
    Bewildebeest says:

    If the approved list is made up of the type of candidate they’ve got in Newark it wouldn’t be a bad thing to lose the lot.
    Read his clumsy description of himself which describes his background and schooling. If someone has to specify that their primary schooling was ‘State’ then the rest of it obviously was not.
    It didn’t fool me but it obviously works with the simple minded fools at ‘Candidate Selection’

  59. 59
    Bernard Hogan How did I get my job says:

    We can fix that

  60. 60
    The Growler says:

    “In further proof that the Tories are in a bit of a flap about Newark” in the words of the Blessed Magaret, they are “frit, frit, FRIT, FRIT

  61. 61
    UKIP The British INCLUSIVE Party says:

    Take a proper look at the photo and you are correct. The audience consists of all ages and both sexes. Something that the LibLabCon are trying to hide.

  62. 62
    the braintree ripper says:

    More likely to vote unlike brain dead ” yoots”

    Jenrick is toast
    So Jenrick, prepare to return to one of your houses and think about sodomites and gypsies

  63. 63
    jgm2 says:

    If UKIP win this seat then next year the ‘Tory’ voters will vote UKIP again. And so will Labour voters.

    Voters are crying out for any alternative to the Lab/Con duopoly that brought the UK to this point. Strangers in our own capital city. Unaffordable housing. Windmill Tax. Massive national debt. Massive annual deficits. Gurning nasal chimps with ambitions to be PM.

  64. 64
    Toxic Labour for Spongers, Parasites, Criminals, Layabouts & other Wasters says:

    The Tories will eventually partner with UKIP, it’s the only survival plan.

  65. 65
    just saying says:

    Those considering voting UKIP in the GE won’t be put off
    by the spurious threat that it’ll let Miliband in.

  66. 66
    the braintree ripper says:

    The Duke of Westminster sent his children to a state primary then it was off to rodean/eton and a lifeof unearned wealth

    Gerald has even more houses than jenrick

  67. 67
    Guffaws says:

    Hilarious! Looks like a Saga club. Is Thora Hurd talking about herbaceous borders or have they shown up for a free cup of tea and because the building’s heated?

  68. 68
    Anonymous says:

    What are they thinking? That pr@t will cost UKIP votes.

  69. 69
    jgm2 says:

    CON HOLD if you please.

    Or, ideally, UKIP GAIN.

  70. 70
    UKIP The Inclusive Party says:

  71. 71
    Patronisee says:

    What a coincidence that all female and non-white campaigners are in the front row of the picture

  72. 72
    jgm2 says:

    Con hold or UKIP win, Ned Miliband is still going to come third in a two horse race.

  73. 73
    ed milliband peoples representitive of somewhere up north i have to visit every now and again says:

    the woman on the checkout looks like a dreadfull bigot

  74. 74
    Stafford says:

    LibLabCon….The ageist party.

  75. 75
    Dodgyl ‘Dave’ – obliged to speachyfy to Common People in a Warehouse in Newark (in desperation) says:

    Trust me – I give you my Weasel Words – and you know me well enough by now!

  76. 76
    Purple Dogzzz says:


  77. 77
    Stop Crapps says:

    Grant Craps is the Lucky Luciana of the Tory Party

    He is way above his station and must be delusional if he thinks he is important

    He is another plastic creation of PS conmen

    And in fact a very cheap hack of a deeply corrupt and traiterous mob…

  78. 78
    Anonymous says:

    Please believe me

  79. 79
    ed milliband peoples representitive of somewhere up north i have to visit every now and again says:

    i don’t hear much laughing coming out of westminster?

  80. 80
    Meet Balls says:

  81. 81
    Purple Dogzzz says:

    I like this !

  82. 82
    The Growler says:

    They are working in the fields and other farming jobbies then they go back to their caravan have their tea and collapse in to a chair or the bed

  83. 83
    jgm2 says:

    Oh yes they will (or a lot of them will) but if there’s a few by-elections in the meantime and UKIP win every single one (unlikely but it’s what would need to happen) then voters will vote UKIP in the GE in the safe knowledge that it’s not a vote for Miliband (or Cameron).

  84. 84
    Socialism is theft says:

    This from the man who was responsible for killing more foreigners than anyone in the last 50 years. If UKIP stigmatises, then Blair and Labour commit genocide.

  85. 85
    ed milliband peoples representitive of somewhere up north i have to visit every now and again says:

    is that harold shipman next to the PM? i thought he was dead

  86. 86
    Patronisee says:

    Why is Ed ignoring the checkout woman and his shopping and not getting ready to make his purchase?
    They look like kids on an adventure day out. Good thing it’s a rigged photo-op or they’d be pissing off a queue when thyey realise that they need to get the money / card out and pack their groceries.

  87. 87
    Diana Abbott says:

    Yo wot im doin wid de white Babylon?
    Dat Newarkshire air gone to ya head brudda.

  88. 88
    Hadley "Screaming Banshee" Freeman says:


    Trigger Warning. Trigger Warning.

    #Angry white men like shooty are trying to take us back to the awful past before we were modern and enriched. Before 1997 156% of all women females were r.a.p.e.d by #angry white men.

    I’m going to the World Cup in Brazil. I am so oppressed and this is my chance to defeat the patriarchy. I hope I don’t have to meet the poor people there though, ewwww.

    Sexist. Racist. White.

  89. 89
    Surprisingly Good says:

    No he won’t. He did the Local election coverage on Sky and even his worst enemy would have to admit that he was very good.

  90. 90
    Um . . . . says:

    Is this is the well-known fishing Port of Newark??? – after the Rancid EUSSR have stripped out fish stocks and livelihoods?

  91. 91

    #YesAllWomen = #fail ?

    Vote UKIP :-D

  92. 92
    jgm2 says:

    ‘Lie into the microphone for me please Mr Balls…’

  93. 93
    UKIP Hacking at the roots with the truth says:

    How many of these scum does it take to buy a portion of fish for fcuk sake.

  94. 94
    Socialism is theft says:

    Better than trying to poach votes.

  95. 95
    The BBC says:

    Hideously white.

  96. 96
    UniteAgainst Labour says:

    Funny isn’t it how the victims of old male gropers can be invited to come forward in their droves in the name of justice (and compensation) but when Guido invites the victims of Bullying Berger to do the same she shuts his thread down.

    And this is the party of “equality and fairness” which is going to pursue a “radical shake up of the justice system”.

    Be afraid. Be very afraid.

  97. 97
    TS Captain and UKIP squire says:

    Gerald has enough houses to accommodate the whole UKIP Army

    Come on Gerald, show us your patriotism…

  98. 98
    jgm2 says:

    Aye. It’s like trying to get membership of the MCC.

  99. 99
    Smokehouse says:

    Nah! they went to get KIPPERED!!!!

  100. 100
    UKIP target Labour voters says:

  101. 101
    UniteAgainst Labour says:

    Ein reich, ein volk, ein fuhrer!

    Smash the fascists of Labour.

  102. 102
    Ed Balls says:

    A whole weeks shop for just eleventeen pounds

  103. 103
    Ron Barras says:

    I thought most revolutions were about overthrowing parliaments, not joining them.

    Helmer won’t win but even if he did it would see UKIP join the “revolutionary” power of the Greens with one MP each.

  104. 104
    the braintree ripper says:

    “Mr Balls we have you shoplifting on camera ,do you have anything to say?”

    “You are now banned from every morrisons store in the country and bilderberg”

  105. 105
    jgm2 says:

    ‘Stigmatise’ foreigners? Is that the same thing as inventing evidence to justify a war resulting in the death of half a million foreigners?

    You c*unt.

  106. 106
    Guffaws says:

    Hilarious! Mr Sleaze is now the face of UKIP

    Brilliant. A clown a day.

  107. 107
    just asking says:

    Did he claim it on expenses?

  108. 108
    MI6 says:

    Testicules still has his Kim Jung Un haircut

    Is it to give him street cred after Bildiberger gig?

  109. 109
    Toffs' day out says:

  110. 110
    Go UKIP says:

    Cameron and his Blairite party need destroying.

  111. 111
    Harriet - an afterthought, says:

    Bush yes, a and I think there’s a clit in there that needs to come off – and the gate is wonky.

  112. 112
    Councillor Duxbury says:

    Put kettle on, lass.

  113. 113
    Socialism is theft says:

    An audience mainly unsullied by state education and its pro-EU propaganda paid for by taxpayers money.

  114. 114
    Go UKIP says:

    It’s our PM David Blair.

  115. 115
    David 'YES WE CAN' Axel Rodd says:

    The staff in the cafe offered him a free bacon sandwich, but he mumbled something about appearances and ‘I didn’t enjoy Denmark anyway’.

  116. 116
    Bert says:

    >Brown dreaded meeting any public person.

    True, dat. Mrs G. Duffy frexample.

  117. 117
    ed milliband peoples representitive of somewhere up north i have to visit every now and again says:

    i’m putting a real effort into my party doing well by staying away

  118. 118
    Uncle Fester says:

    The Citizens of Newark must be sick of the sight of Politicians and Media

    Serve them all right if they voted Greens

  119. 119
    Here is BBC home service says:

    Even the head teacher is out, woe betide all those future Camorons Conservative MPs who don’t attend church services, sounds as if it’s gone past, UKIP are just racist and after the Euro elections they will disappear, to oh! hell ring the alarm bells and get every one down to Newark we are close to losing it.

  120. 120
    Bert says:

    Neatly implying that he is a steaming heap of khaki dung.

  121. 121
    The Tosser in No. 10 says:

    This is how I look when I’m completely – and utterly – fucked!

  122. 122
    Steve Miliband says:

    Gordon Brown signed the Lisbon Treaty in 2007 in a dark room hidden from the media.

  123. 123
    Gawd Help Us says:

    Must be the ultimate threat to have your ticket to the gravy train express confiscated.

  124. 124
    Grant Crapps says:

    Vote Tory in Newark and get your Member to ask Parliamentary questions

    For cash, of course

    We are all in this together

  125. 125
    the braintree ripper says:

    just look at the hunger in jenricks eyes, it brokeback mountain, and why isnt the shot arsed twat wearing a tie?

    Col Helmer probably sleeps in one

  126. 126
    Jus Passin' says:

    Where’s DC (Drop a Daisy Cutter) when we need him?

  127. 127
    The party's over says:

    Unfortunately for the head-in-the-clouds Labour/Tory tribalists, all the things that are seriously p1ssing off people in this country are hardly going to go away any time soon.

    In fact, the problems from the loss of sovereignty, creeping islamification, and the fall out from decades of mass uncontrolled immigration, are going to get a lot, lot worse.

  128. 128
    Gerald says:

    Fuck off.

  129. 129
    Democracy at work says:

    Vote Tory

    Get Rebekah Brooks, Andy Coulson and Dirty Digger Murdoch

    For free

  130. 130
    jgm2 says:

    Aye – that Jenrick must be shitting himself. Handed a nice ‘safe’ seat and looks like he might lose it.

    Tee hee.

  131. 131
    Norm Normal says:

    They say the eyes are the windows to the soul. Notice in most photos that Mz Lucky’s mouth is smiling but the eyes aren’t? Always a dangerous sign!

  132. 132
    the braintree ripper says:

    Allwe need now is for Mcmental to wish Jenrick the best of luck and the tories are doomed

    He is Labours ultimate doomsday option

  133. 133
    Shooty* says:

    OMG, name checked in a post. Thank you, thank you :)

  134. 134
    jgm2 says:

    Vote Labour

    Get Iraq war, 2 million 3rd world immigrants from Sh*it*is*tan, financial meltdown and Len McCluskey.

    For free 800bn quid extra debt.

  135. 135
    Barber says:

    Ed Balls is going fat and thin from bottom and from top

  136. 136
    UK Fred says:

    It would be suicide for UKIP.

  137. 137
    Here is BBC home service says:

    It seems criminal Bliar is out helping the EU dictatorship, keep it up Bliar, he will never ever be el Presidenti, but he is a real help to the Eurosceptics, because he’s hated by most of the country.

  138. 138
  139. 139
    Gormless Dave says:

    If that is the modern Tory Party,

    God help Britain

  140. 140
    rollo57 says:

    The truth about our sovereignty, 30 years on!


  141. 141
    British sugar for British workers says:

  142. 142
    The party's over says:

    At least there are no empty chairs, unlike at a lab/con staged managed event, even with the bused in party stooges masqueraded as Joe Public.

  143. 143
    Wonderful WonderfulCopenhagen says:

    They let him in then.

  144. 144
    Mycroft says:

    The Con leadership has lost it’s way and will not change quickly or convincingly enough to make a difference.

    A while a go a chap Blair (Piss be upon Him) realised that the Country was flirting with a middle ground stance and it killed the Cons for 13 years and in those 13 years they moved themselves into that bland area political wilderness, have no doubt it was a wilderness, but we wanted it, so we got it.

    Today we are not in favour of that ground, it is barren and often poisoned, we’ve all moved to the right, the Cons haven’t moved, they will of course, but they need time.

    The alliance with the LibDems meant they couldn’t move at all, so these last 4 years have been a disaster for them at a very fundamental level.

    The worst effect though is that they couldn’t claim that they were anything but an accommodating middle ground party so even their ‘crowing’ over the last 4 years has been on that schtick, that schtick is about to beat the living daylights out of them.

    Their is nothing they can do to undo these last four years and they are beginning to realise this, deep in their cynical hearts they have fear a deep visceral fear.

    Fear often makes people gibber and the above missive is an example of that gibbering.

    No matter the outcome Thursday will be a disaster for them, this should be a walk in the park, sadly it looks like it is exactly that a walk in the wee small hours in New York’s Central Park circa the 1970s.

    They are going to be mugged.

  145. 145
    Spare us another police execution says:

    Please don’t….

  146. 146
    Fruitcake, swivel eyed loony, closet racist, crank and gadfly says:

    Shapps, Cameron, Hague, May, Osborne, you are crapping yourselves and with good reason. Heaven would be a UKIP win, a halving of the majority and you’re in a tailspin.

    Vote UKIP, get UKIP.
    Vote Tory, get Ed.

  147. 147
    Nigel Farage says:

    Stigmatize eh! Well at least I don’t go around bombing them!!

  148. 148
    Fruitcake, swivel eyed loony, closet racist, crank and gadfly says:

    That’s a worse joke than the moron in #10.

    Vote UKIP, get UKIP.
    Vote Tory, get Ed.

  149. 149
    Stephen Duffy says:

    Surely ” of” being on the candidates list rather than “for ” ? He should speak with MG. They must see one another occasionally ? Perhaps around that large table in Downing Street ?

  150. 150
    ExCon says:

    The sun has got his hat on – but not obvious from the expressions in this photo.
    Smell the fear.

  151. 151
    What Dave doesn't want to hear says:

  152. 152
    Jockey Club Balls Up says:

    We will hold a judge led enquiry into how three horses started this race and only two were seen to finish

  153. 153
    Jenricks says:

    Not wearing a tie gives the appearance I give toss about any of these ghastly Newark wretches.

  154. 154
    More Politicians than people says:

  155. 155
    Here is BBC home service says:

    Your not kiddin, they would regret it within 10 seconds, instead of politicians they would end up with windmills and extra energy taxes and that bloody awful woman they have in charge, ear plugs will be provided but due to transport costs they will cost £20.

  156. 156
    UKIP Hacking at the roots with the truth says:

    That’s the way to talk to ‘em.

    I’d buy that man a pint if I had the chance.

    Hope it gets on MSM.

  157. 157
    Silly leftie says:

    The only real revolutionary party in British Politics. All other parties are pegged to the american neo-liberalism which masquerades as economics.

  158. 158
    UK Fred says:

    Was Ed turned away from the supermarket because he didn’t have his invitation with him?

  159. 159
    Mycroft says:

    He looks remarkably like Clegg did after the Euro-vote doesn’t he!

    The dead eyes of the lost and bewildered.

    Infamy, they’ve all got it in for me…

  160. 160
    jgm2 says:

    Working class background you see. Went to a state primary school. Man of the people. Honest.

  161. 161
    steady at the helmer says:

    What is it with all this hi viz crap?

    UKIP should be walking around firing guns in the air and burning any house with a vote labour/conservative poster

  162. 162
    Nigel Farage says:

    I’d buy him a pint too several!!

  163. 163
    Conservative rainbow alliance says:

    Did somebody mention bumming?

  164. 164
    Stanley says:

    I’ve never seen a bunch of Dixons/Currys workers so well turned out, and all in matching Hi-Viz, bet they’re all Eastern European temps…

  165. 165
    jgm2 says:

    The way to talk to them is to wait until about twenty seconds into their speech and then just stand up and walk out.

    Say nothing at all.

    Even better if you’ve arranged it with the rest of the shift beforehand. Just all stand up and walk off. Leave him with a room full of empty chairs and TV cameras. Nothing would finish a politician’s career quicker.

  166. 166
    Old Grumpy says:

    I wouldn’t read too much into this, Guido. It does newbies good to be reminded of what they are all about.

    The fact is that UKIP is notorious for the silence of their candidates…… they rely on the cult of celebrity to get their results.

  167. 167
    tallbloke says:

    People of Newark your attention please. Cost of EU renegotiation so far – £500m Look on Dave's face if you elect UKIP – Priceless! #VoteUKIP— Rog Tallbloke (@RogTallbloke) June 2, 2014

  168. 168
    Dangerous Brian says:

    Please correct me if I’m wrong on this but wasn’t it only a couple of weeks ago that these knobs were having us believe that no-one wanted to be an MP because the pay was poor and the benefits were not sufficient?
    600 on the tory lists and god knows how many waiting to climb aboard the Lab/Lib gravy train.
    They’ve shattered my faith, I’ll never believe another word they say.

  169. 169
    tallbloke says:

    The journey to a parliamentary majority begin with the first MP

  170. 170
    Anonymous says:

    “They will not be able to throw this much effort at every seat UKIP are targeting this time next year…”

    Neither will the kippers.

  171. 171
    Saturday Boy says:

    Currys? Maybe he was talking about a cast iron guarantee, well an extended warranty anyway ….

  172. 172
    tallbloke says:

    Bloody UKIP Coming over here, nicking our seats…

  173. 173
    tallbloke says:

    Many Newark Labour voters will be making a tactical choice by voting UKIP.
    This because they want our country back too. Or so I was told by a lifelong Labour voter in Newark yesterday.

  174. 174
    Anonymous says:

    At least he is not bombing them.

  175. 175
    táxpáyér says:

    Do you think the MORE they meet the “dave” Party, the more they’ll think “I’m voting UKIP!”?

  176. 176
    Bitchfinder General says:

    No, it was twelvety.

  177. 177
    Conservative rainbow alliance says:

    Catemite Jenrick will probably become impotent rather than important after the vote
    It will be left to a real man from UKIP to look after Mr Jenrick leaving young Jenrick to lap her filthy labia clean aaterwards
    A bit like Bercow does to his Mrs

  178. 178
    absolutelypassionate says:

    UKIP will abolish inheritance tax. Inheritance tax brings in under £4bn – less than a third of what we spend on foreign aid. The super-rich avoid it, while modest property owners get caught by it. It hits people during a time of grief and UKIP will budget in its 2015 spending plans to completely abolish this unfair death tax.

  179. 179
    Saturday Boy says:

    Dixons? Maybe he was talking about a cast iron guarantee, well an extended warranty anyway ….

  180. 180
    Flaming Torches R Us says:

    Finally the scales have dropped from our eyes

  181. 181
    Anonymous says:

    Vote Tory. Get Tony.

  182. 182
    Flaming Torches R Us says:

    Hope that little lady in front doesn’t get cold feet on Thursday! Have they been warning voters of the folded voting slips dirty tricks?

  183. 183
    Necrophiliac Dating Agency-Just Where Do They Dig These People Up From? says:

    Credit for getting off his arse and driving up to Newark? What would you give him if he did a 4 mile run? A knighthood!? A Nobel Prize? UKIP have set the campaigning bar high all over the UK. No longer can any of the Westminster Parties sit on their laurels. The fact that they’re not connecting to normal people will make it even harder to achieve because they just won’t have the membership to mobilize.

  184. 184
    Flaming Torches R Us says:

    … and even more amazing, they let him out again. When is he going to stand up in the HoC and tell us what was discussed and what decisions were taken?

  185. 185

    Hilarious says Guffaws, Mr Sleaze is now the face of UKIP.
    Even more hilarious is the reason for the by-election. Patrick ‘Sleazbag’ Mercer is a crook, a racist and an anti-semite.


  186. 186
    Anonymous says:

    It’s a bit more like branding anyone racist, that wants the UK to be governed by those elected by the people of the UK.

  187. 187
    joolz says:

    Can anybody remember how many times Mr Cameron turned up in

    South Shields
    Wythenshawe and Sale East
    Newark 5?

  188. 188
    Biffo says:

    I’m still hoping for a war criminal trial at the Hague for Blair – with the same result as Saddam Husseins.

  189. 189
    Biffo says:

    YouTube biting back at that lying POS

  190. 190
    Biffo says:

    That interview with Mrs G Duffy absolutely made my day. Only bettered by after the General Election in 2010 when Brown & his family finally walked away from number 10. I had begun to wonder whether he might barricade himself inside & refuse to leave – ever.

  191. 191
    Face stomping chianti socialists till I'm knee deep says:

    Revolution on a handlebar mustached whisky sodden geez? wot the fuck, I’ll vote for him just to kick the others in the teeth….

  192. 192
    Biffo says:

    Grant Shapps is a snotty little oik with ideas above his station IMO. I wrote to him when he was pushing the idea that all older folk whose kids had left home should be ‘persuaded’ to downsize – this wasn’t just social housing oldies but ones who had bought & had paid for their own house. Having read him in the newspapers & seen him constantly pushing the idea on TV – I think his idea that their Council Tax could be increased & increased to force them to move on – so I asked him since it was such a brilliant idea could he tell me when Mere & Pere Shapps would be moving to their new semi – never got a reply funnily enough.

  193. 193
    Biffo says:

    And Gordon Brown as financial adviser.

  194. 194

    The tone is definitely Big Brotherish

    ( Shapps looks the epitome if what I imagine Little Lord Fauntleroy would look like –complete with high collar and smug self congratulaTory ook –either that or Tom Brown from Rugby in “Schooldays ” ……All he lacks is the Rugby Topper!!)

  195. 195

    So –finally ! –Ed s been let out by Yvette then !!!

    I bet he did nt have any semblance of a good weekend chez Morley after his Copenhagen Cock Up .

  196. 196

    Probably some Black Pudding for hubby .

  197. 197

    Balls : ” Harri — I seem to have lost my wallet . I think neill kinnock swiped it 20 years ago when he was in a temper after losing to Major in the famous ” Watch your wallet election”

  198. 198
    The People's Army (Newark Battalion) says:

    Never mind the Labour scum having fish for supper, come Friday morning we Kippers will be having Labour for breakfast.

  199. 199
    The People's Army (Newark Battalion) says:

    Nice bloke. I met him today in the market square.

  200. 200
    The People's Army (Newark Battalion) says:

    No, he’s got his clothes on.

  201. 201
    The People's Army (Newark Battalion) says:

    A safe house for Lib Dem cockroaches.

  202. 202
    The People's Army (Newark Battalion) says:

    Something of the lettings agent.

  203. 203
    The People's Army (Newark Battalion) says:

    I was there and nearly fell asleep as I was whacked after hours of door-knocking without any food.

  204. 204
    The People's Army (Newark Battalion) says:

    Come back again before Thursday, Dave, you posh tosser.

  205. 205
    The People's Army (Newark Battalion) says:

    I’ve worked all hours of the day in a place like that. I bet Dave hasn’t.

  206. 206
    The People's Army (Newark Battalion) says:

    Not wearing a tie says, “I’m a cool metro-ar*ehole who thinks I’m above all of that.”

  207. 207
    tallbloke says:

    People of Newark your attention please.
    Cost of EU renegotiation so far – £500m
    Look on Dave’s face if you elect UKIP – Priceless!

  208. 208
    Queens Evidence says:

    Is he giving that interview under caution?

  209. 209
    Broke Back Tories says:

    Those Eyes are saying that Jenrick wants to marry Dave and have his babies.

  210. 210
    jumbo says:

    “supper”???? That’s the authentic voice of the working class there….

  211. 211
    The Goyim Reaper says:

    Oh no they won’t. Not even if “call me Bumsex Dave” personally filleted his own liver on the television in a Party Political Broadcast. There are more votes from Labour malcontents.
    In fact, call me Ducky will be filleting his own liver after the May 2015 gig. Not even Herr Schnapps can motivate the Tories to rescue a drowning man who has absolutely nothing to add to the debate except scream.

  212. 212
    Jack Ketch says:

    Not Tom Brown, more like that sneak East.

  213. 213
    Pete Hodge says:

    If UKIP joined up with the Tories my membership would stop. And Blair is getting desperate. He wants to be president of Europe and if we left he could not be.

  214. 214
    John Tandy says:

    Panicking ?

  215. 215
    John Tandy says:


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Users of Gay Hook-Up App Grindr Infected | TechnoGuido
ISIS Raising Funds Online Using Bitcoin | TechnoGuido
UKIP’s Youth Challenge | BBC
ISIS Operative: This Is How We Send Jihadis To Europe | BuzzFeed
Shapps Defends Bashir Defection | Seb Payne
Tory Leadership Contenders Jostle Over Europe | Alex Wickham
Cutting Taxes is Good For You | Art Laffer
Suspects Will Now Have to Prove Innocence | Laura Perrins
Labour Cllr: Cops Shouldn’t Stop Petrol Thieves | HandF Forum
Creeping Cultural Acceptance of Anti-Semitism | Eric Pickles
Time For Greece to Leave Eurozone | Allister Heath

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