May 30th, 2014

Callanan Speaks: “I’m Off to Push on Some Doors”

Martin Callanan has stoked speculation about his chances of being the next EU Commissioner. Writing his last piece for ConHome as leader of the European Conservatives and Reformists Group, Callanan makes his pitch:

“Realistically, governing parties do badly at elections. People are not fully feeling the effects of the economic recovery in their pockets and wage packets. Against that backdrop, to almost beat the main opposition party is a fantastic achievement. In 1999, we won the European elections by a landslide. We all know what happened in 2001. This result was not good for Labour. And for the Liberal Democrats, they proved that they are the Party of ‘IN’ – IN deep s**t…

This might sound odd and even quite concerning, but decisions in the European Parliament are rarely made in the debating chamber, or even in the plenary votes. These days, they are usually made in what’s known as a trilogue – when a selection of MEPs, EU governments and the Commission come together to negotiate on details of specific laws. If you want to defend your interests – that is where it is done. Frankly, we are going to have to work even harder now that our numbers are depleted…

But for me, as they say, one door closes and another opens – so I’m off to push on some doors to see what’s next.”

Could the door be that of the EU Commission…


  1. 1
    Ewok says:

    Warp factor 3?

  2. 2
    Tony Blair says:

    I’m off the hook again! Tee-hee! Or should that be tee-bee!

    Must dash. More blood money to make advising various dictators and oligarchs. Cheerio pip-pip!

  3. 3
    I hope Blair gets cancer says:

  4. 4
  5. 5
    still walking into darkness says:

    Nothing much will happen in the EU until UKIP and related parties across Europe develop a military wing, but I suspect that’s not far away

  6. 6
    thostids says:

    Isn’t that just the way Europe works. You vote some bastard out and the other bastards still inside the asylum promote him.
    “Come inside, silly bugger, we put custard on ours”.

  7. 7
    fight the fascists says:

    Hands up all those who voted for Callanan.

  8. 8
    Mornington Crescent says:

    These mandarins only ever need to push on one door – the revolving one.

  9. 9
    UKIP Press Office says:

    Nigel, Beppe, we have a name for your political group:

    “The Grillage People”

  10. 10
    millipede says:

    Google brian gerrish and the change agents

  11. 11
    Nick Clegg says:

    Everyone loves me.

  12. 12
    Hadley "screaming banshee" Freemannn says:

    Hear me roar. I am offended on behalf of all imaginary women by joey barton’s sexist comment. He is a typical male, they are all evil and pushing their r.a.p.e. Culture. SEXIST. Arghhh, trigger warning. White male! I’ve called the police expect arrests. Re tweet Caroline criado Perez and Laurie penny. Barton is the same as that man (make) in California who murdered two women last week (some men were killed but they are irrelevant to my point because all men are sexist)

    #equalrights #smash the patriarchy #everydaysexism

  13. 13
    Edwina Currie says:

    “Remember when that serial shagger John Major Told Eurosceptics To ‘Put Up Or Shut Up’ (VIDEO)?”

  14. 14
    The Lone Ranger says:

    A BBC program (something about Chinese TV) has just said that cultural values are important for China. WTF, why does this excellent view not apply to our own country?

  15. 15

    FFS. We did not vote UKIP because of the economy. We voted UKIP to get our country back.

    This man is the PROBLEM not the solution

  16. 16
    Flowers that get mown in spring tra la says:

    Politics where losing is winning, where sh1t floats to the surface and is scooped up and offered an even better job.

  17. 17
    Nick Clegg says:

    That’s good,very good !

  18. 18
    Socialism Ate My Future says:

    The revolving door of politicos continues….

  19. 19
    ed milliband peoples representitive of somewhere up north i have to visit every now and again says:

    not really relevant but funny non the less

  20. 20
    Fat black bitch says:

    Replace them all with a computer…a ZX81 could do the job.

  21. 21
    Traitors the lot of them says:

    Why should a Sovereign country place itself in a political club where it has to negotiate its sovereignty in the first place?

  22. 22
    Rickytshirt says:

    Don’t fink so.

  23. 23
    Traitor Dave says:

    Never change a losing team, I say

  24. 24
    Tumbleweed says:

    Is that my cue.

  25. 25
    Beppe Grillo says:

    I am proposing Nigel Farage as Uk Commissioner

    He won the UK Euro elections

    Or don’t you people believe in democracy?

  26. 26
    pookie snackumberger says:

    Martin Callanan says:

    “If you want to defend your interests – that is where it is done.”

    He’s talking about the EU.

    Wrong. If you want to defend your interests you leave the EU and govern yourself.

  27. 27
    Saint Edwina Currie says:

    I told my Johnnie to say that

    While I was giving him a blowjob

    It was all about getting back to basics..

  28. 28
    Angela Merkel says:

    The answer is NO…

  29. 29
    Toxic Labour for Spongers, Parasites, Criminals, Layabouts & other Wasters says:

    Agreed he should be getting us out of the corrupt eu not “pushing on doors.”

  30. 30
    Editor the the Daily Express says:

    I propose Kate’s bottom as next British Commissioner

    After all, we had Caligula’s horse..

  31. 31
    Ben Brogan, the last honest British hack says:

    I think Britain is rapidly disappearing up its own asshole

  32. 32
    Groucho Marx says:

    Why should a club like the EU ever elect people like you?

  33. 33
    Adolph says:

    You are such a wonderful daughter.

  34. 34
    Vince"The Cheeky Chappie" Cable says:

    Today’s meltdown is brought to you by The LibDems.

  35. 35
    Socialism is theft says:

    Unless it is the door marked ‘EXIT’.

  36. 36
    Vince's cabal. says:

    We need a new leader.

  37. 37
    Man on the Clapham omnibus says:

    Jeeze, what a shithole this country is, a fucking shithole.

  38. 38
    George Galloway says:

    Did you know? From 1948-67, Egypt took Gaza and Jordan took the West Bank and never thought to make it a Palestinian state (& no one cared?)

  39. 39
    Vote Ukip get Ukip says:

    It’s a tough ask,there’s hardly anyone in the party who isn’t a sexual degenerate.

  40. 40
    Voter says:

    Certainly, very intolerant of troughers. And as usual, he gets it wrong, it will last.

    It was during Major’s government that the Conservative pary swerved left. I, who had been a life long Conservative voter, did not vote Conservative for the first time.

    I did vote Conservative in the last UK election, but that was to keep Brown out, I had not great faith in Cameron as leader. And I was right.

    And since this Government has been indistinguishable from a Labour one, I won’t get fooled again…

  41. 41
    The BBC says:

    You’re only allowed to have the values and opinions we deem ‘acceptable’, got it? Otherwise you are racist, and worse than a murderer.

    Why? Why!?!

    Because fuck you, that’s why.

  42. 42
    rick says:

    Now seems so funny that our Tone led the party of the British ‘working class’.

    Even funnier – they would still vote for him!

  43. 43
    Spartacus says:

    He’s just following the money

  44. 44

    Vote UKIP :-D

  45. 45
    joolz says:

    too clever, try a zx80 about the same level of intelligence

  46. 46
    rick says:

    ZX81 would be technical overkill. Most of our ruling elite could be replaced with a light switch.

  47. 47
  48. 48
    anyone for a sing along? says:

    blah blah blah etc………..

  49. 49
    geordieboy says:

    Fuck off to North Korea then.

  50. 50
    geordieboy says:

    Havn’t seen Cameron eating a bacon buttie yet.

  51. 51
    Quick, look the other way says:

    Maybe that shit stirring fucker Stephen Nolan might have a look at it, after spending the last week feigning outrage in Northern Ireland that some preacher dared question the honesty of Islam.

  52. 52
    Or.... says:

    In the EEE UUUUU

  53. 53
    non taxable pikey says:

    Why do we even listen to the second rate failed oiks that emigrate to Brussels? Someone show him how to use a shovel because there is a lot of shiite needs cleaning up in the UK.

  54. 54
    duty pedant says:


  55. 55

    Should a said “I’m from BBC-LAB” and he’d have got in on the VIP Liggers list.

    One more tosser on the BBC-LAB gravy train would not be noticed.

  56. 56
    The Peoples' Army says:

    He’s just another parasite we need to be innoculated against

  57. 57

    As in ” pushing on an open door ” Martino baby ?!

  58. 58


    I expect you ll have had your fill of all those sheep s eyes , oysters and lobster thermidore out East not to mention the ChateauNeuf du Papes when you went to Rome. ….

    Shepherds pie and a brown ale do you tonight ?

  59. 59

    the ira could always be called upon gor an agreed consultancy fee .. as could BaaderMeinhof and the Red Brigades… and don t get me started on ETA!!!

  60. 60

    Didn t Edward Woodward play the lead role in ” Callanan ” in the 1970 s series about a down at heel British MI5 agent ?

    If it s to be re made in Brussels I wonder who ll get the oart of
    “Lonely ” ??

  61. 61
    Margot Leadbetter says:

    He can’t get us out of anywhere now that he is no longer an MEP. And as UKIP MEP’s have had the poorest attendance records of British MEPs at the EU parliament I don’t think they are going to have much impact unless they change their ways.

  62. 62
    Anonymous says:

    “People are not fully feeling the effects of the economic recovery in their pockets”
    And there was me thinking, they were more than aware they’d been repeatedly gang-mugged by banksters. From a distance, it’s almost impossible to differentiate between the excesses of out-of-control unions and rogue financiers.

  63. 63
    Anonymous says:

    Vote UKIP

  64. 64
    Angela Times says:

    “Realistically, governing parties do badly at elections.”

    Oh yeah? Tell that to Angela Merkel – a very successful politician (who incidentally is implementing a very ambitious green energy programme).

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