May 26th, 2014

Rich’s Bank Holiday Monday View


  1. 1
    Sheffield says:

    Fuck off Clegg you odious C*NT

  2. 2
    Mine d'Boggles says:

    Too true, old chap.

  3. 3
    Sadiq Khan 4 Mayor says:

    Ed Miliband is almost as good as Gordon Brown and Neil Kinnock.

  4. 4
    Guffaws says:

    What do the Lib Dems and a toilet have in common: they both have one seat!

  5. 5
    Mine d'Boggles says:

    Governments horrified that people did not vote for them.

  6. 6
    Mine d'Boggles says:

    correction: Geovernment Ministers who became rich in office or through connections are horrified that people did not vote for them.

  7. 7
    Tom Catesby says:

    The only thing that surprised me last night, was how did the limp dicks find enough muppets to still vote for that one women in the South?

  8. 8
    Prik Clogg says:

    True. But I’m fucking off to a lovely sinecure in Brussels.

  9. 9
    Calamity Clegg, Chief Cockroach says:

  10. 10
    Prik Clogg says:

    Never underestimate the stupidity of the electorate. After all they used to vote for me.

  11. 11
    Round the Bend says:

    I thought Clegg is the MP for Sheffield?

  12. 12
    Steve Miliband says:

    makes me shudder; Ed Miliband will be PM next year

  13. 13
    ahmonika says:

    Cameron spotted going into back entrance of Willy Wonka’s chocolate factory to learn the trade

  14. 14
    M­a­­q­bo­­ul says:

    Step forward Lord Clegg of Sheffield, EU Commissioner for Stationary Windmills

  15. 15
    Sheffield says:

    Not for long!

  16. 16

    He may not even win his seat….

  17. 17
    Silent Majority says:

    What ever the question is, Edward Samuel Miliband is not the answer.

  18. 18
    Round the Bend says:

    You should not stay silent!

  19. 19
    Barroski says:

    This was not the result that I was expecting, a new poll will have to be held shortly.

  20. 20

    A first!


    The first Rich cartoon ever to elicit an unforced laugh from me.

    Well done that man! Resistance creates Persistence!

  21. 21
    Gordon Brown says:

    I’ve had a wee word with Unite.

    They’ve seen the error of their ways and decided it is time for an experienced statesman to lead Labour to victory in 2015. I would like to thank David Milliband, what? It’s Ed, you say? I’d like to than Ed Miller Band for the wonderful job he has done in making me look like a leadership candidate and let him know I’ll be taking the helm again in June.

  22. 22
    The Growler says:

    There are two little losers, the Master and Fawkes in this race, they actually backed the the horse that came in third, the Master’s power is slipping and he is not a happy bunny, someone is going to suffer for for this, the Master always wants to be the one that won it.

  23. 23
    Incapable Vince, deputy Chief Cockroach says:

  24. 24

    There was at least one sentence in Lord Ashdown of Norton-sub-Hamdon-cum-Pantsdown’s piece with which I agreed.

    His conclusion was the traditional crap though. I shan’t be changing my vote to LibDem in any great hurry as a result of this.

  25. 25

  26. 26
    Sheffield says:
  27. 27
    The Growler says:

    Looks more like Ted Miliband than Cleggie, with the black rings around the eyes

  28. 28
    thostids says:

    Clegg is curiously missing from the pundits on TV. How odd! Campbell says it was very noble of him to stand up to support the EU and he has paid “the price”. Strange that he still has his seat but none of his Party has survived. Is that “noble” as in “I’m ok and you don’t count”; I’m the Deputy PM, and I errr look after the kids whilst my wife works. I am irrelevant as is the main Party we live off. We have arranged for the Undertaker to tidy up the bodies. And we won’t be around for you to piss all over us, we shall do mighty things if only we could think of anything that the voters are interested in. Hangings concentrate the mind, and Clegg should be sure that he isn’t coming back. Even Clegg can’t ignore the hatred and contempt turning into ridicule soon.
    He’s dead now and will reek in a couple of weeks. Dig the grave now.

  29. 29
    Prime Minister David Cameron says:

    It is quite clear that I am not taken seriously as a political analyst as the media has not asked me once to comment on the Euro elections.

  30. 30
    The Growler says:

    They did come second though unlike Dave the Magnificent who came THIRD

  31. 31
    Alex Salmond says:

    My useless ballot-box stuffers are all on the naughty-step this morning!

  32. 32
    Vince Kabel says:

    Where’s CLEGG ?

  33. 33

    I have this gnawing theory that they are at each other’s throats all the time, they are so different in many ways.

    It is one of those Happy Family things on the outside but inside, all is turmoil and intrigue. Pistols at dawn won’t work though because H@rry can’t get out of bed.

    Being of fairly slight build myself, I try and avoid trouble, as you must surely know…

  34. 34
    Genghiz the kahn says:
  35. 35
    Tim Far-Off says:

    We’re flushed with success.

  36. 36
    The Growler says:

    And who came third even with the backing of the Master, Mail, Sexpress, Torygraph, they lost as well

  37. 37
    Orange_Happy_Hour says:

    It’s the poo-encrusted cubicle with homo-erotic graffiti and phone number scrawled on its walls.

  38. 38
    non taxable pikey says:

    A message to all UK Islamic women. Go and support your Lycra clad sisters competing in Hyde Park next weekend.

    A message to the rest of you, loads of fit lycra clad totty at the World Triathlon Series races on Saturday and Sunday. It will add a whole new level to Guido’s Totty Watch.

  39. 39
    Expat Geordie says:

    It’s a reference to Kinnock’s Sheffield speech just before the 92 General Election. The one which Labour was all set to win until Kinnock had a funny turn.

  40. 40
    ahmonika says:

    He could be PM from the Upper House

  41. 41
    Owen Jones,Football Correspondent says:

    Di Canio wants the Celtic job. Nick Griffin, meanwhile, has told Rod Petrie he’s the man to turn round Hibs.

  42. 42
    -11 MEPs says:

    Take us with you Master….

  43. 43

    ignore the link above this is the one.

  44. 44
    Norman Normal says:

    Graham Stringer just spiked Miliband, Balls and Alexander on the BBC.
    “Ed isnt doing as well as Cameron in the polls.”
    “Our economic policy is weak. ”
    “The election campaign is amateurish.”

    Odd to see someone from labour telling the truth lol!

  45. 45
    Tower Hamlets EU Banana Republic says:

    To keep our subsidies we want an IN IN EU referndum

  46. 46
    thostids says:

    Are you being paid to chuck up this crap? If you ‘re not, they used to have Asylums where you could lie down and have a long rest. If you are being paid, check your money goes in the Bank. Do you work for the BBC. Do you suffer from delusional behaviour? Are you David Bumsex and do you have a crawling urge to take up shouting at people after they’ve eaten? If so, there is a gap in the market lecturing on the subway.

  47. 47
    Norman Normal says:

    He is about 3/4 of the way through the libdem contacts list looking for supporters…

  48. 48
    Nick Clegg says:

    I’m sorry.

  49. 49
    Mark Oaten (LibDem) says:


  50. 50
    Twatson says:

    Tom Watson has been absent lately. Has that fat oily acne ridden c-unt gone into hiding?

  51. 51
    Jim says:

    Not so in London.

  52. 52
    Incapable Vince, deputy Chief Cockroach says:

    I’m not !

  53. 53
    Racists r Us says:

    Are the racists here disappointed that their old mucker Grick Niffin lost his seat?

  54. 54
    Tower Hamlets Returning Officah says:

    Tower Hamlets turnout: one hundred and twenty three per cent.

  55. 55

    Last year local elections the tremor

    this year local elections .. they continue

    last night the earthquake hit!

    The aftershocks will rumble on for the next year…. (the liblabcon..cobra ..msm)

    Will claim everything is safe….


    GE 2015

  56. 56
    Diane Abbott says:

    The success of UKIP is so depressing, I drowned my sorrows in a bucket of ryce and pea. Yeah mon.

  57. 57
    The Loonies and Fruitcakes are in charge now says:

    I have yet to hear anyone say “we are sorry” .

  58. 58
    Bluto says:

    Tim Farron was peddling the same line last night. That the Lib Dems showed their integrity by rejecting UKIP’s “argument”. Like the UAF and SWP nutters he conflated anti-immigration feeling with anti-immigrant feeling.

    Lots of self-deluding lies from the Lib Dems and Labour this morning.

  59. 59
    Robespierre says:

    I thought too it was customary in the UK to publicly congratulate the winner despite what you thought about them in private.

  60. 60
    Incapable Vince, deputy Chief Cockroach says:

  61. 61
    Robespierre says:

    Le Pen got rat arsed on champagne last night.

    Power to the people.

  62. 62
    nell says:

    Another good result from the day then!!

  63. 63
    Dave Cameron, Prime Minister and tennis player says:

    It is an honour to have led the party to third place.

    tally ho

  64. 64
    nell says:

    I think you’ll find he spends most of his day in his taxpayer funded apartment playing xbox games.

  65. 65
    Rob Roy says:

    I.5 billion pounds plus the loss of 5000 jobs with Standard Life is a cheap price to pay to get rid of you English.

  66. 66
    Del Boy says:

    Dave is really proud of his campaign team as well.

  67. 67
    Norman Normal says:

    Just seen him on sky. Says the elections give a clear opinion from the electorate and there will be a referendum in 2017.

  68. 68
    Handycock Teen Fondler says:

    I am joining UKIP and hope to be selected as their candidate for Portsmouth South in the general election next year. So far, in my political career, I have been a member of the Labour Party, the SDP, the Liberal Democrats, an Independent and soon to be UKIP. Once elected, I will be working hard, as usual, for my constituents, particularly when I visit Russia and eastern European countries on Council for Europe business. My boys and the Portsmouth Lodges are very happy with this decision of mine. Boaz.

  69. 69

    Oh the irony ! The twat who kept telling us how good his beloved EU was for our country , will have a real hard time influencing anything in the Stasi of Brussels now LoL

    There must be a joke in there somewhere

    How many lib dem mep’s does it take to change a lightbulb ? etc
    They can’t due to eu health and safety laws

    Whats the name of the lib dem mep ?
    Juan Seet etc

  70. 70
    Kinnocio says:

    Well allright, well alright

  71. 71
    Anonymous says:

    I heard Cameron on radio this morning. Still not answering questions and still slagging off Nigel Farage. I will never vote for him again. A very bad loser with no grace.

  72. 72

    I thought of one

    Nick Clegg has just bought a new car

    A Seat Uno Get In !

  73. 73
    Steve Miliband says:

    Labour will win a majority with 35%

  74. 74
    Anonymous says:

    Miliband and Clegg still hiding this morning.

  75. 75
    Onward Ukip Soldiers says:

    I thought what Kinnock said was,
    ‘Well alright, well alright, etc…’

    in the typical way the lefties love to adopt the yankee slang of a culture they thoroughly despise.

    BTW, how nice to know Martin Schulz’s (President of the EU Parliament) favourite author is Professor Eric Hobsbawn, noted traitorous commie writer and poisoner of millions of young minds.

  76. 76
    Grand Master, Grand Lodge, Great Queen Street says:

    Jahbulon Handy. Don’t forget my villa in Spain, just like yours, from your boys.

  77. 77
    UKIP massacred our fluffy bunnies Labour family says:

    Time to leave the eu empire now.

  78. 78
    concrete pump says:

    How many coalition politicians does it take to change a lightbulb….?

    Two. One Conservative to change the lightbulb and one Lib-Dem to suck his dick.

  79. 79
    Goodbye, goodbye, you're leaving us, goodbye, says:

    We all agree.

    please shut the gate on your way out,

    don’t call us,

    we’ll call you.

  80. 80
    Sanjeev Gupta says:

    When will Ed Balls knife Miliband?

  81. 81
    the general public says:

    Looks like R & M put as much effort into the caption as they did the drawing, very lazy and devoid of any satire. They clearly do this on a non-payment basis…….surely!

  82. 82
    Eton Dave says:

    Let’s have an Awayday to celebrate our inclusiveness and outreach.

  83. 83

    Will Clegg now bring down the coalition , to try and save some face
    or will his own party knife him in the back

    Let the fun begin !

  84. 84
    ++BREAKING NEWS++ says:

    Nick Clegg to resign as leader of the Liberal Democrats.

  85. 85
  86. 86
    Tower Hamlets EU Banana Republic says:

    Well we remember that just as if it were yester……. 22 years ago.

  87. 87

    Clegg just left his mansion in a large BMW with Blacked out windows

  88. 88
    Displaced Brummie says:

    “Dear God!” said the Eurocrat. “We must ban this voting by the populace! It is far too dangerous!”

  89. 89
    Big D says:

    The British Empire strikes back.
    Have just watched the dreadful Vicky Ford ( Conservative MEP ) twittering on as though the Tories are the winners .
    She thinks they ticked all the boxes , delusional or what !
    What a bl–dy lightweight she is and what an asset to Call me Dave .

  90. 90
    rick says:

    Even the most die-hard Tory must now realise the Conservative party is no longer the party they thought it was. Blair could easily been leader of the modern ‘conservative’ party

  91. 91
    Village Idiot says:

    …”The pen is mightier than the sword”…..
    What a result, thank you brave people of UKIP, thank you, thank you, thank you!
    There may be hope for our country at last!!!!

  92. 92
    JohnnyReb says:

    Cracks me up the fat cnut Griffin could even get himself a decent suit. And what’s going on with his fuckin’ eyes?

  93. 93

    Why not a double fratricide involving Dave and Nick?

    Get their postal votes filled in before they do it of course.

  94. 94
    Jack Ketch says:

    Not 3/4 the way through a case of Scotch, sorry, Spanish brandy?

  95. 95
    The BBC is full of bigots says:

    The future is bright. The future is purple.

    If Labour wins next year they will trash the economy again and the Tories would most likely split into two parties, one of which will soon be absorbed by UKIP, who will win the 2020 election.

    If the Tories win Dave will resume his urging for Turkey to join the EU and allow 75 million members of the religion of peace the right to come and live here. He will con the public into staying in the EU with a dodgy referendum. In 2020 UKIP will win the election.

  96. 96
    BordersRus says:

    Time to rebuild Hadrians Wall

  97. 97
    Death to all Fanatics says:

    An Independence from Europe, spoiler Party polled 1.5%.
    The electoral commission is a sick joke.

  98. 98
    EeeYepBlowing Whistles says:

    The content of this letter below is worth repeating

    Here is the text & content of a letter published in the DM on Friday

    “Power-crazed politicos

    When politicians are asked why they entered politics, the response is invariably the same. Turning to gaze nobly at a distant horizon, through moistening eyes, they intone ‘Because I wanted to change things’ – with the emphasis on the ‘I’.

    Roughly translated, this means ‘Iwant to see things done my way, regardless of what my constituents think they want’. The ethos, prevalent at Westminster across all parties is not to serve, but to rule.

    This is why they detest the idea of referendums. Issues that the electorate want addressed are ignored. Policies to which the majority are opposed are forced through without any attempt at constitution.

    We British should get over the notion that we live in a democracy: it’s an elective dictatorship.”

    H/T to the author John Stewart of Preston.

  99. 99
    Dave Von Cameroon says:

    I am what I am….

  100. 100
    White flight says:

    ……Is it outside the M25?????

  101. 101
    bergen says:

    Even worse, they could win it with 33% on a 4 way split. I can’t see how any single party government can be legitimate on that sort of share.

  102. 102

    Not very good odds for Teather, considering she is not standing, or Optic who hasn’t even got a seat.

    Could you imagine them making the beast with two backs?

  103. 103
    Diane Abbott says:

    One hundred and first!

  104. 104
    Jabba Le Chat says:

  105. 105


  106. 106

    Vote UKIP :-)

  107. 107
    Ed Miliband says:

    These results show I’m a prime minister in waiting.

  108. 108
    pookie snackumberger says:

    Lies, damend lies and Lib Dems

    Minge campbell said: “It was Nick Clegg that started the debate on Europe”

  109. 109
    nell says:

    Funniest comment this morning was from kevinmaguire of the mirror saying that ‘ the past week was a triumph for labour’ and ‘edmiliband will be sitting in no 10 after 7 May next year’ !!!

    Not sure what he’s been d r i n k i n g over this Bank Holiday but its addled his brain.

  110. 110
    Ibrahim says:

    We run London now, infidels. Labour give us lots of kafir money and we give them 20 billion postal votes. Allah shatbar.

  111. 111
    pookie snackumberger says:

    Guido, can you look into who, what and where re the An Independence from Europe so called party?

  112. 112

    It’s bank holiday. So repeats. Oh well, here goes

    Schrödinger’s cat says:
    January 9, 2014 at 9:05 pm

    The term elective dictatorship was used some decades ago by Lord Hailsham to describe the so-called democratic process in the UK.

    In fact it was coined by Garibaldi, one of the founders of the modern Italy, a multi talented individual who wanted his country to shake free of Habsburg dominance and pursued irredentist ideals resulting in the Risorgimento. In the process his home town of Nizza, now Nice, was ceded to France by Cavour and he organised resistance to this, including riots.

    Back to Hailsham, he was aghast at the way Harold Wilson could pass so many laws with such a small majority. He felt it was not reflective of the will of the people in the same way a larger majority might have been but was simply achieved by manipulating MPs. Take note, oh ye modernisers!

    The curious thing is that many people from all quarters have been arguing for the end of the House of Lords because it does not have a democratic foundation. The reality was that, when it was more powerful, it often stood against the government of the day, whether Labour or Conservative. The irony is that the reduction in the influence in the House of Lords has led to less democracy and not more. You will never see this argued in the media but I fervently believe it to be true.

    The Law of Unintended Consequences was never better illustrated than this.

    Elective Dictatorship is thus an even greater problem now than it was then.

    Like this

    Blowing Whistles says:
    January 9, 2014 at 9:47 pm

    SC – take a look around hereabouts at Unelected Executives. EU / UK local councils. I think your eyes might just open up a bit further.

    Like this
    Schrödinger’s cat says:
    January 9, 2014 at 10:58 pm

    Do you even begin to understand what I have written here? I sometimes wonder. If you cannot see the life’s irony, also a truth, in my fourth paragraph, then we have nothing to exchange.

    Of course I am well aware of the unelected slime, paid for by the public purse, in local, national and European administration. I used to write about it here long before you ever turned up.

    (In the interests of community spirit, I refrain from reproducing the rest…)

    But BTW BW. If you were not so indolent and actually looked up the link I over-generously posted for you, you will see that every comment going years back has a “Like this” by it, regardless of when the new ap kicked in.

  113. 113
    Stu says:

    I thought he was.

  114. 114
    The British media are cunts says:

    Ed Milimong on BBC news in total and utter fucking denial over the UKIP vote. Denying we need a referendum to leave the EU, talking utter bollocks and he thinks he had a good night.

    You have to laugh, you really do.

  115. 115
    Fishy says:

    ‘…noted traitorous commie writer and poisoner of millions of young minds…’

    Friend of the Milibands (admired by Weird Ed) and an apologist for Socialist mass murders and genocide – It was a price worth paying.

  116. 116
    Jack Straw says:

    Well like I said… The English as a race are not worth saving.

  117. 117
    pookie snackumberger says:

    Two backs, but how many chins?

  118. 118

    Good morning young Sir , i trust you are having a rather large grin this morrow ?

  119. 119
    Ed Millionaireband says:

    the “Labour” marking helps too.
    The cartoon is crap. Yes,We are fucked, but why bother with the cartoon?

    Besides, nextr May on eof us will be PM and the remainder will get cushy EU/Lords/”Speaking tour” jobs. We’re set for life, as we were from birth.
    You lot are fucked. Can’t put the genie out of the bottle. You might gert your referendum, but the damage is done.

  120. 120
    Hmmm says:

    Hey Guido, I think I may have spotted a swear word on your front page.

  121. 121
    The British media are cunts says:

    Probably been shagging his boyfriend senseless all weekend.

  122. 122
  123. 123
    Overton says:

    I wonder who ultimately provided their funding?

  124. 124
    Fishy says:

    And PIE supporter Harm-men on last night saying it was all about MP’s expenses.

    Is this c.unt thick, or what?

  125. 125
    Islamic Republic of Tower Minarets says:

    Death to all kuffars! Tower Hamlets is a Labour-Muslim coalition. Praises to our leader, Loofah Rotman. We will continue to groom, torture and r*pe your white english girls. Our beloved prophet says non-muslim girls and women are all whores and we should be free to r*pe them as much as we want, for it pleases allah. And best of all, lots of stupid english people defend us and call our critics islamaphobic. This is how we will take over, infidels! With the help of your own traitors! I see now why you call them useful idiots. That Owen Jones is very useful. Little does he know he would be publicly executed under a glorious islamic regime for being the gays. Allah crapbar!

  126. 126

    My heartfelt advice is never to get that close to them that you would find out!

  127. 127
    Ed Millionaireband says:

    They didn’t vote for her. She was allocated the place by her own party as a reward for LibDems finishing 5th in the South East.

  128. 128


    Grin and tonic!

  129. 129

    The lib dems went down faster than Handycock in an eastern european kids home
    Or faster than Cyril Smith in a Rochdale orphanage

  130. 130
    Anonymous says:

    They did that a long time ago. You now get to vote for straw men who get ignored unless they agree with the elites who just vote for each other.

  131. 131
    Trough-UP-Top says:

    One of our local UKIP council candidates had been Lab, Tory, LimpDems, now UKIP, but failed to gain. I wonder why.

    Too many old coggers are jumpin any which way the winds blowing – especially if it means retaining their lifestyle. Im sure we’ll see alot more Tories and Labourites jumping ships.

  132. 132
    Mr Wind Bag says:

    You’ll be O.K. Cleggy boyo just join me and the family on the gravy train, we’ll show you the ropes.

  133. 133
    nell says:

    And the second funniest statement this morning is twelce libdem mp’s saying cleggie should stand down and vincecable should take over so that they can move the libdems even further left as this will win them votes!

    Which way did the country vote in droves yesterday you sill libdems , it moved Right!!

  134. 134
    David Cameron says:

    I’m not listening..lalalallaa..i can;t hear you…lalalalala…high taxes….lalalalaala..hate the middle classes….lalalalalal…i can;t hear you….lalalalala….ludicrous marginal tax rates…..lalalalala…

  135. 135
    EeeYepBlowing Whistles says:

    SC – it’s not about you singing your own praises all of the time, or is it?

    btw The letter was published in a mainstream paper last friday – thus i lifted it. Stop beating up / frothing on about ‘yourself’ having mentioned ED back in January.

  136. 136

    Tend to conflate words two and three. Long may we propagate!

  137. 137

    Can 40 shags Clegg survive this one ?

  138. 138
    James O'Bottom says:

    Let’s just enjoy the moment! this is wonderful!

  139. 139
    The British media are cunts says:

    Good old Norman Smith on the BBC telling the viewers that they were wrong to vote UKIP and that really people should stick to voting Labour.

    He’s just spouting the Labour line I’ve heard on the BBC all morning.

  140. 140
    Cleggster says:

    I for one, beleive him…

  141. 141
    Steve Miliband says:

    How can Roger Helmet be standing as a candidate in Newark, having just been re-elected as an MEP?

  142. 142
    Rotherhampoofta says:

    Well done UKIP!

  143. 143
    nell says:

    I believe I’m right in saying that they can be both an MEP and an MP.

  144. 144

    Facts are facts, no matter how inconvenient to one’s point.

    Unlike yourself, I harbour no delusions over my perceived omnipotence.

    If when I post, people like it, that is fine. If they don’t that is also fine. It is all the same to me.

  145. 145
    Dan Hodges says:

    Why does no-one understand that I am right about UKIP and everyone else is wrong?

  146. 146
    Who'll replace Nick Clegg? says:

    What are the current odds on Clegg being forced out in a Lib Dem coup? There are two ways this can play out.

    First is that Lib Dems decide they’re a sinking ship under Clegg and they force him out and replace him with Jeremy Browne or Tim Farron.

    The other scenario is that they realise they’re finished as a party whoever leads them, so they might as well see the final year out till the election.

    My money’s on a coup and Jeremy Browne will be the new leader/deputy PM.

  147. 147
    Anonymous says:

    They are certainly getting their moneys worth from Axelrod

  148. 148
    Steve Miliband says:

    Farron. Browne is a Tory. Farron would get the left wing Liberals back on board

  149. 149
    Spartacus says:

    ok none of the above – presumably voter turnout, but what is that stuff on the right? unequalled socialists?

    i suppose at starts at zero . . . (shrugs)

  150. 150
    Expat Geordie says:

    Eye. Not eyes.

    Like Gordon Brown and Dan Hodges he only has one.

  151. 151
    Comical Dougie says:

    We annihilated our enemies in the European election. Labour took 98% of the vote and we have 3500 new MEPs. Our UKIP foes have been butchered alive.

  152. 152
    Expat Geordie says:

    Yes but move it north a bit this time. Right up to the actual border, perhaps.

  153. 153

    It was only 30, maybe less, as I remember it (not that I was there at the time, you understand!)

    30? Pah!

    Now, about Emily. Shall I wipe her nose?

  154. 154
    Harry Potter says:

    He also called for a referendum on the EU, or at least for the Liebour Party to offer one. He stated the obvious that his constituents were not happy with the EU, immigration and the jobs situation. Consequently he’s regarded as a maverick by the Liebour Optimata. A realist I would say.

    I said it last week and I’ll repeat myself. I’ve never agreed with the guy’s politics but up here he’s always been pretty straight (unlike Blier). He’s the sitting MP for my old constituency, which used to be hard Tory. That all changed with the boundaries.

  155. 155
    The British media are cunts says:

    Cameron is both PM and an MP at the same time.

  156. 156
    Anon who Voted UKIP ORG !!! says:

    Fucked weird Ed decides to use the lectern to try & hide from
    everyone that he has yet again really SHIT himself, bigtime !!!
    after UKIP won the EU elections……

    “We are alright”………

  157. 157
    A first says:

    A first !

    The first SC posting that is succinct and to the point with not a hint of pomposity !

  158. 158

    Indeed! And Mayor of London, Archbishop of Titipu and Lord High Everything Else…

    Multiple mandate it is called.

  159. 159
    Hugh Janus says:

    +billions! (and save ourselves £billions too).

  160. 160

    Breaking news !

    The prime minister of Japan has sent Nick Clegg a large box of Viagra
    He said it was because he heard Clegg was “having big problem with his election”

  161. 161
    Only 7% of our laws come from Europe my arse ! says:

    That will teach the lying little prick.

  162. 162
    Round_or_Flat says:

    The bloke on Sky News stated glibly that most of the population would drift back to the LabCons because they would be wary of a war which UKIP may start.
    He actually said this as if he had some factual data on which to base the information.
    Is this not media bias at its worse?

  163. 163
    Hugh Janus says:

    I have just laughed at a Rich cartoon.

    Should I seek treatment?

  164. 164
    Tracy says:

    I didn’t want go vote in the euroland election. But this nice lady from the Labours came round my house and she said if I vote Labour, she’ll give me fifty quid to get some beer and fags and a takeaway for me and my 7 kids. I said I ain’t never voted before. She showed me how to put an X in what box. She gave me lift to the poland station and I put an X next to Labours on the big long paper thing. When I came out of the poland station, she gives me fifty quid and dropped me off at Asda. She was a well nice lady. She fanked me and I went in and bought loads of cigarettes and lager and on da way home I got a chinese takeaway. Labours are a well good party.

  165. 165
    Party party says:

    Some Limp dem twat on Sky last night saying that this wasn’t an anti-EU vote as people don’t really understand what the EU is about.
    That’s why you lost out you c*nt.

  166. 166
    Cinna says:

    Cable! Well f*uck me with the rough end of a Queensland pineapple. One useless w*anker replaced by an even more useless w*anker.

  167. 167
    Cinna says:

    I think you mean rebuild the Antonine Wall.

  168. 168
    Nick Clegg says:

    Leaving the EU will cost jobs and pensions. Mines mainly.

  169. 169
    Wah wah pedal says:

    Repeat a lie often enough and it becomes fact – didn’t you know it was the Tories that bailed out the banks?

  170. 170
    barrowboy says:

    Don’t think with either of the present bloodsuckers in power plus the Public sector that we shall feel the benefit of any savings. Too tasty for them to miss out on. Make sure UKIP are running matters if and when it occurs.

  171. 171
    Cleggy says:

    Yes, best not to mention She**ield

  172. 172
    Gordon Brown says:

    If I was still prime minister, Labour would have won a 10,000% share of the vote, in conjunction with the production of 25,523,969 new tractors, a real terms increase of 982%.

  173. 173
    barrowboy says:

    Have another one old chap.

  174. 174

    You call him Wieid Ed , but some reports say that labour want to replace weird Ed with Chuka Umunna
    Now there is one weird patronising twat !

  175. 175
    Moley says:

    Cameron got the votes in the last election with the implied slogan

    “Vote conservative; we are not quite as crap as labour.”

    Now he has spent the last four years proving to a large proportion of the electorate that actually, he is even worse; gay marriage offended many of his core voters; that is a fact. Continuing foreign aid using borrowed money is absurd to anybody who pauses to think. HS2 is a Millennium Dome on rails. These are just a few examples.

    If Miliband becomes Prime Minister that will be because the country weighed up what the Conservatives had to offer, against what the other parties had to offer and voted accordingly. The failure will be that of the Conservative party, not those who did not vote Conservative.

    Using a Miliband Premiership as a threat is a clear admission that the Conservatives are completely useless and there are no positive reasons to vote for them.

    For the first time in decades this Country has a chance to vote for a party it actually likes rather than against the parties it doesn’t.

    And it will.

  176. 176
    The go has landed says:

    You actually keep a record of all your posts ???? FFS what a twat !

  177. 177

    Dave Camermong “Oh theres a problem with immigration”?
    Well if you re elect me i’ll tackle it

    Twat ! Removal van for a Mr Cameron !

  178. 178
    Anonymous says:

  179. 179
    Django says:

    If you don’t vote you can’t complain if things aren’t to your liking… The non voters are in reality, irrelevant!

  180. 180

    Breaking news !
    Nick Clegg ” look , if i dont get my way in Europe
    I will pull my member”

  181. 181
    FarmerGiles says:

  182. 182
    nell says:

    Multiple expenses too!!!

  183. 183
    Anonymous says:

    The concerted effort by Guido and the rest of the media to paint Ed as the loser is flying in the face of reality. As you say , Dave came third down by 4 % and Labour INCREASED their vote by 10%. Yet apparently it’s Labour that are fucked ?! Still, a bit disappointed with UKIP’s performance – I was hoping they’d push the Tories below 20%.

    Desperate stuff from Guido …

  184. 184
    Mohammed Iqbal says:

    Great to see Amjad Bashir elected for UKIP in the North West

  185. 185
    Sue Denim says:

    Which explains the half-arsed job he is doing of both.

  186. 186

    Greater London is lost , it’s an immigration swamp created by labour by their open door policy , to ensure they will always control the capitol with the immigrant vote

  187. 187

    If you care to cast your eye down to the bottom of this very page, then, providing you have not by then forgotten what you were doing in your haze, you will see links to older pages.

    It is not that difficult to discover what you said before.

    If you were really clever you could find stuff instantly with an advanced Google search – but I really don’t want to overload you.

    One may take it as a measure of your cognitive abilities that you appear to assume that I insert all the “Like this” notices myself.

    I seriously advise you to vote Labour next time. At least they will pretend to look after you and, with that level of gullibility, you are likely to believe it.

    Have a lovely day.

  188. 188
    Jezza says:

    London will be ungovernable in a few years. It already is in parts. Labour have a lot to answer for

  189. 189

    David Cameron: Nigel Farage wants to ‘destroy’ the Conservatives

    Got it in one, Dave!

    Admit it. It did take some time to get there, didn’t it? :-D

  190. 190
    Still counting in Tower Hamlets says:

    The liblabcon know a lot about starting wars, not to mention revolutions and up-risings.

    State propaganda is becoming more desperate by the day.

    Carry on like this, and we could be seeing a DDR moment within England before year’s end….especially if Scotland says bye bye to the Westminster Raj in September.

  191. 191
  192. 192
    Albert's chainsaw sharpeners says:

    Only if like me, if you voted UKIP, it’s undemocratic for us to UKIP and should have voted for the LibLabCons , you will recalled to a retraining centre, so please wait your turn.

  193. 193

    Oh! Come on! Resistance creates Persistence was a bit sententious, wasn’t it? :-)

  194. 194
    Cheap labour and cheap votes says:

    Also created by the right, for reasons of cheap labour.

    Never forget it’s both left and right to blame for our predicament.

  195. 195
    Lalalaaaa not listening says:

    I suspect anyone who listens to Cameron, Clegg or Miliband today will resolve to remain a UKIP voter in the general election.

  196. 196

    All Farage is doing Dave , is adopting policies you and your party have abandoned

  197. 197
    Albert's chainsaw sharpeners says:

    A Libdem PM complaining about Farage wanting to destroy the Conservatives, you can only destroy something that Camoron hasn’t already destroyed, May 2015 taxi for mr Camoron and his mates the Libdems.

  198. 198
    Jabba Le Chat says:

    Read the graph title and make an educated guess…

  199. 199
    liblabcon effnik cleansers says:

    It will become like something out of Brazil. A super rich elite behind gated communities, protected by a paramilitary, and surrounded by teeming overcrowded slums.

  200. 200
    Albert's chainsaw sharpeners says:

    Still smiling at the words some lady in a Nottingham car-boot on the BBC said when asked who she voted for, she said Labour but we had too much local immigration, I think Liebours white wash machine is a brilliant design as it covers all idiots and the past very effectively.

  201. 201
    Anonymous says:

    I wish that were but I don’t think they will. My parents are people who can’t stand Dave, like Farage but are absolutely terrified about what Ed might do if he gets power. The Vote UKIP, Get Ed schtick works on people like them. That’s the battle that UKIP need to win and this election win may turn the corner in showing these people that voting UKIP gets UKIP.

  202. 202
    non taxable pikey says:

    Tower Hamlet results in yet?

    Just stirring the Sh^t a bit.

  203. 203
    Calories R Us says:

    Yes….you are like a dalmation without the whyte bits.

  204. 204

    Vote UKIP :-)

  205. 205
    Anonymous says:

    He’s either thick, ignorant or deliberately stupid: “Nigel Farage wants to destroy the Conservative Party”?

    No David, Nigel Farage wants to leave the EU, you’ve destroyed the Conservative party, I haven’t ‘lent’ you my vote, I’m angry but entirely rational. Neither you, labour nor the lib dems even sound human to me, none of you are concerned that you have all completely lost touch with the British electorate (completely), you are concerned at why we don’t share your view, not even considering why you do not share ours.

    Keep it up. I’m not angry, I’m loving it – another year of nothing changing, a London-centric outlook, a completely fucked housing bubble, and ever greater enrichment makes next years GE look very interesting.

    Fuck you David, ed and nick. They always there’s not enough lampposts? There are.

  206. 206

    We still have a three party system
    i wonder if they will invite Nick Glegg to the leaders debates LoL

  207. 207
    Dickhead Dave says:

    I’ve driven away tens of thousands of party members in the last five years.

  208. 208
    Albert's chainsaw sharpeners says:

    Can Chukka Butty spare the time away from his mirror, his preening and his photographer have the first spots in his busy schedule of preening and camera positions.

  209. 209
    tabblenabble02 says:

    …and the middle if you extend that logic.

    Forget the left vs right smoke and mirrors.

    It’s all about nationalism vs libertarianism. It was libertarianism that opened our borders to uncontrolled immigration.

    …and of course, any party with the word “national” in their name is strictly verboten in the libertarian west.

  210. 210
    dump says:

    o dump.

  211. 211
    Not there yet says:

    He seems to be a bit intimidated by common sense

  212. 212
    Fart interruptus says:


  213. 213
    M­a­­q­bo­­ul says:

    The Labour were on course to win the next GE as the party in opposition they would expect to have walked this. As it is, they were pushed well into second place just about equal with the incumbent government. It’s a very bad result for Labour and Libdems.

  214. 214
    Albert's chainsaw sharpeners says:

    He still has MPs, I wonder what the betting will be for the Libcraps keeping at least one seat in May 2015.

  215. 215
    Silenced Majority says:

    Many do attend but spoil their papers. But does forcing yourself to vote for a party with policies you do not endorse qualify you to complain?

    “None of the above” should be included on the ballot paper as it would be a clear “protest” option.

  216. 216
    pookie snackumberger says:

    I can see it now

    Dave: I agree with Nigel.

    Mong, I agree with nigel.

  217. 217
    M­a­­q­bo­­ul says:

    I think Cameron beat him to it. They may call themselves Conservatives but the walk and quack like social democrats these days. Hence the rise of a truly conservative party UKIP.

  218. 218
    Anonymous says:

    …and very at home with Common Purpose

  219. 219
    Nowhere near yet says:

    Smell the fear

  220. 220
    Bluto says:

    Farage might want to Dave but you already did.

    Here’s a clue. Probably not a great idea for a “Conservative” leader to put his trust in Common Purpose and UAF over his own grass roots.

  221. 221
    Now it's time for a parliament for England says:

    Have you noticed that the thicker-skinned LIBDEM people are coming out to defend Clegg by saying he was the only one who had the courage to face Farage and support our membership of the EU? Yet they know he failed spectacularly. What is matter with them?

  222. 222
    Nige says:

    Vote Cameron, get Miliband.

  223. 223
    Hitting the buffers gently on the EU gravy train says:

    Conservative MEP Martin Callanan, who lost his seat his seat last night, was just on the radio. He was asked how much his transitional allowance would be. Transitional allowance is a sum paid to MEP’s who lose their seat and is supoosed to help them back into ‘normal life’. Callanan said he didn’t know how much it was in his case – he hadn’t checked it. Let me help him out – it’s £157,000.

  224. 224
    The Lone Ranger says:

    and time to stop buying the Daily Mail. They were at the van of calling ukip voters racists. I assume other msm organs were abandoned years ago.

  225. 225
    M­a­­q­bo­­ul says:

    Not sure you can call it a “top job” anymore.

  226. 226
    In the land of the blind says:

    The one-eyed man is a wanker.

  227. 227

    If the troies want to beat labour at the next election
    Threaten to scrap fracking , and open a few new coalmines in labour strongholds
    pointing out that labour closed far more pits than maggie ever did
    and at the same time putting two fingers up to the european carbon emmissions policy as Germany has done , by building another 25 coal fired powerstations

  228. 228
    The Lone Ranger says:

    We now have the “none of above” box – it’s called UKIP. Vote UKIP and fuck ‘em.

  229. 229
    Lessons have not been learned says:

    Then he should be sacked.

  230. 230
    Chukka Can says:

    I am definitely not weird, and I have edited my Wikipedia entry to say so

  231. 231
    Lefties and feminists says:

    The title Godzilla is islamaphobic. We demand they change the title to Allahzilla.

    And X-Men should be called X-Persons.

  232. 232
    Bog Paper says:

    I’ve got just the thing for you!

  233. 233
    Silenced Majority says:

    Well said, Sir!

  234. 234
    táxpáyér says:

    Why would we here be disappointed in a socialist losing votes?

  235. 235
    The Lone Ranger says:

    At least Cameron did appear on the Today prog. WTF was Miliband?????

  236. 236
    nell says:

    It looks like it’s one in the eye for Dan Hodges!

  237. 237
    Did you know? says:

    A feminist party in Sweden got 5.3% of the vote and a MEP in the 2014 Euro elections.

  238. 238
    táxpáyér says:

    + infinity/0

  239. 239
    Dave from Witney says:

    I only just popped out arounf 7am this morning to “Sainsbury’s Local” get a copy of “The Guardian” and a pint of semi-skimmed for my Muesli and got stopped by some local BBC crew who insisted that I tell them about my reactions to Nigel’s win…I mean it was pee-ing down and I was getting soaked and the bloody woman just wouldn’t shut up

  240. 240
    The Lone Ranger says:

  241. 241
    fuckoff whack says:

    wake the coffee.

  242. 242

    And one up the “council gritter” for Owen Jones

  243. 243
    One for Nick Clogg says:

  244. 244
    non taxable pikey says:

    We are according to that little Sh^t all racialists and homophobes because we voted for UKIP. Well UKIP are sending an openly homosexual candidate and two ethnic minority candidates to the European Parliament.

  245. 245
    The LibLabCon Translation Service says:

    A free service for all LibLabCon ivory towered mongs.

    Northern Europe = Anti-immigration
    Southern Europe = Anti-austerity

  246. 246
    Charles Kennedy says:

    I’ll drink to that.

  247. 247

    And Nick !

    “If you let me in , i’ll disagree with Nigel”

  248. 248
    2p or not. says:

    the value of punditry is 2p

  249. 249
    táxpáyér says:

    Good comment (for once no tin-foil hatting).

    I shall refrain from my customary halogen this once.

  250. 250
    Pork Scratchings says:

    Seeeing as you originate from Birmingham, you would know all about letting the locals have a vote.

  251. 251
    Lefties and feminists says:

    We demand that Hollywood change the title of The Amazing Spiderman to The Amazing Spiderperson. And James Bond should become Jane Bond.

  252. 252
    Did you know? says:

    Everytime a Green Party member was announced as winning a seat during last night’s election results in the UK there were loud hysterical female screams and shouts from all of the audiences.

  253. 253
    Moley says:

    A look at France will reassure anybody who fears about a Miliband victory.

    Miliband would face the same problems as Hollande for exactly the same reasons and the reactive move to the right would follow in this country just as it has in France. Fortunately UKIP is far more moderate than France’s National Front.

    Cameron’s socialism on the other hand is creeping and insidious, and if he is re-elected there will be nothing to stop its continuation.

    There is only one way to stop the progressive ruination of this Country and that is to have the courage to vote UKIP.

  254. 254
    Tower Hamlets EU Banana Republic says:

    The voting is delayed while we observe ramadan

  255. 255
    Nowhere near yet says:

    Same hysteria from Labour, only louder

  256. 256
    you couldn't make it up says:

    Tim Farron was on telly saying he was very proud what
    the Limp Dums had achieved and he wouldn’t have changed
    anything about the campaign!!

  257. 257
  258. 258
    Cold alert says:

    OK I give up. Why is Nick Clegg drawn like Ed Milimong?

  259. 259
    Homer Simpson says:

    A big win for UKIP, and a day off work!

    Can life get any better than this?

  260. 260

    Vote UKIP :-)

  261. 261
    very fishy says:

    My candidate for An Independence From Europe
    was a woman based in the Netherlands.
    Their electoral flyers were definitely calculated
    to look like UKIPs.

  262. 262
    Oh do fuck off Norman! says:

    Norman Smith dissing UKIP again on the BBC.

    This cuunt should be sacked on the spot.

  263. 263
    don't forget says:

    And Nigel finished it.

  264. 264
    ukip version says:

    please dissassemble,

  265. 265
    BBC news is a joke says:

    Is Jasmine Lawrence back at work?

  266. 266

  267. 267
    The British media are cunts says:

  268. 268
    Albert's chainsaw sharpeners says:

    He should be congratulated for helping UKIP get so far ahead of the crap, his hate and bias has been a great and will surely bring more voters to UKIP in May 2015, god bless the BBC bias and all the biased BBC b,stards working in that cess pit for helping UKIP in their own way.

  269. 269
    here's an idea says:

    Any chance that news channels could bring in commentators
    who are actually in touch with the views of the electorate?
    The current crop literally have no idea what voters think.

  270. 270
    Sheffield says:

    Fuck off Cleggy you odious C*NT

  271. 271
    The British media employ cunts says:

  272. 272
    Anonymous says:

    Still on course to win next year – more than Dave’s lot can claim.

  273. 273
    Moley says:

    There is a problem there.

    It takes courage to mount a coup; being limp and wet doesn’t cut it.

    It will however separate the men from the boys, (which given the Limp Dems proclivities, will be something of an achievement).

  274. 274
    he's a joke says:

    The more Scrawny Norman continues with his biased onslaught
    against UKIP,the more members and votes the party will hoover

  275. 275
    who dara sing says:


  276. 276
    Wankers says:

    Fuck The Clash…….they summed up perfectly the group think lefty bullshit to a t. Well heeled little rich boys playing the socialist.
    The Ed Millibands of punk

  277. 277
    non taxable pikey says:

    Well, it could stop raining and Cloggie could resign, but otherwise, tis a grand day.

  278. 278
    White rabbit says:

    A continuation of a long series of lies and deception.
    Common Market to EU. Tory Party to Metro sexual deviant.
    Pub to Urban coffee shop. Self reliance to support and being failed.
    Resilient and tough to theatrical and offended.
    Well mannered and polite to Cro-Magnon oafish twat.

  279. 279
    fight the fascists says:

    Hands up all those who voted for Viviane Reding?

  280. 280
    Dan Hodges' thrupenny bits says:

    Anybody got a long range weather forecast for 7th May 2015?

  281. 281
    hang on a min says:

    Great songs though.

  282. 282
    non taxable pikey says:

    It’s going to be sub judice soon, hopefully…..

  283. 283
    EeeYepBlowing Whistles says:

    Reply here – The point is the bloke from Preston – has written a very good letter from start to finish. It has impact and that is that – i know that i am going to send a copy of the blokes letter to the useless piece of shit for brains of an MP who does not represent his constituents concerns where i live. Now SC let us move on.

  284. 284
    Jack Ketch says:

    I quite like Clegg. He may be a twister and as honest as a Cairo barrow boy, but he more charisma than anyone else in the Lib-Dem party and, on publically available information, he is one of the very few who is not a sexual deviant or a pederast.
    Farron is a pathetic joke of an individual, the man who claimed that he went into politics at the age of 16 after watching “Cathy Come Home” on TV-a programme that was broadcast 4 years before his birth.

  285. 285
    Chucka Mona says:

    Don’t forget my ever growing very large collection of expensive
    watches & of course fully funded by grateful & adoring filthy
    stinking smelly Tax Payers….. who know there place…..

  286. 286
    Albert's chainsaw sharpeners says:

    The peasants are revolting, Boris is way past his sell by date but does a good job keeping out the riff raff from having the London mayors job.

  287. 287
    Mangochutney says:

    Why is Sarah Milican announcing the Scotchland results?

  288. 288
    M­a­­q­bo­­ul says:

    Dream on.

  289. 289
    Scummy Bugger says:

    The Lib Dims are now like the rent boys they patronise. They intend to sell themselves to Labour after the GE and presumably vote to repeal legislation that they supported in the Tory coalition. Clegg, of course, cannot also be “Deputy PM’ under Labour and he would be sacrificed.
    Rumour says he is unconcerned with winning in his constituency and I bet that his EU Commission sinecure is already fixed up. He will join the other UK rejects and Cadburys Mishapes in Brussels.

  290. 290
    A Turnip Taliban says:

    I think we should call Dan H

    Baghdad Bob Hodges

  291. 291
    Moley says:

    The advantage of having Chuka as leader is that it would then become impossible to criticise him without all the dafties shouting “Racist”.

    It is in fact racist to prevent a non white from being criticised on the grounds of their colour, (unless the criticism focuses on colour). But I seriously doubt if the dafties will understand that.

  292. 292
    Stop paying says:

    It’ll be a news blackout, just like all the other times there were serious voting ‘irregularities’ found in an election.

    Our bent media covering the backs of the bent liblabcon political class.

    Welcome to Britain 2014.

  293. 293
    A Turnip Taliban says:

    Back to Mumsnet, please….

  294. 294
    Ukipmicky says:

  295. 295
    Fishy says:

    And do you know it was the Tories (Cameron) that signed the Lisbon Treaty.

  296. 296
    whore ah says:

    la whore.
    who? rah. hurri.OM,modibodikhodi.

  297. 297
    cheche says:

    whats happening in t hamlets now pls

  298. 298
    A Turnip Taliban says:


    What profundity, Dan…

  299. 299
    A doc says:

    Isn’t this that pervie Frog who liked all those “Leetle gerls”?

  300. 300
    BBC Waaaaycism Police says:

    Just memoed everyone at the BBC; never ever say ‘a black day for the LibDems’, it’s a ‘day-of-colour for the LibDems’

  301. 301
    Purple Dogzzz says:

    Or to collude with The Guardian to smear UKIP.

  302. 302
    right old tosh says:

    the sword of levinson probably helped steer MSM editorials…

  303. 303
    He's right says:

    He’s probably right. Labour are barely ahead of them in a mid-term vote, despite the harvesting of postal votes by Labour. The Tories are pissing themselves laughing.

    In fact, UKIP have identified that ex-Labour voters are much more likely to stick with them in a GE than ex-tory.
    Conservative minded people, living in marginal seats don’t want to see Labour back-doored in by wasting a vote on a Party that will come 4th in their constituency.

  304. 304
    Baksheesh Bashir says:

    Not for long inshallah.

  305. 305
    Axelrod says:

    Cartoonist can’t even spell Labor.

  306. 306
    Blakey says:

    I don’t fancy yours (or mine).

  307. 307
    Jimmy says:

  308. 308
    Unelected Eurocrat creaming off Euro millions says:

    You know, these elections really interfere with the smooth running of the EU.

    They should be banned as the sheeple just don’t understand the issues!

  309. 309
    Confused Pedant says:

    Is infinity/0 indeterminate, or is just its limiting function indeterminate?

  310. 310
    EeeYepBlowing Whistles says:

    Boris’ last words “Changer ou mourir” [Change or die]

    Ughh Boris – the EU is dead; it’s been kept on life-support artificially for far too long now. It is beyond time to bury the corpse.

  311. 311
    Nothing will change says:

    Despite everything we had been told, the count was a shocker. There was a 21% discrepancy in the votes in Island Gardens between the first two counts.

  312. 312
    i thin therefore i self hypnotise. says:

    u new sex

  313. 313
    Tower Hamlets EU Banana Republic says:

    They are now saying the delay is due to the fact that they have worn out all their erasers, as they have not found enough of the right kind of votes.

  314. 314
    Mine d'Boggles says:

    I can assure you that the rough end of a Queensland pineapple limits all sorts of functions.

  315. 315
  316. 316
    Sticky Bugger says:

    The Tories were 100% behind the bank bail-out, though.

  317. 317
    Knob-Ed says:

    Don’t panic! It woz jutht a cotht of voting crithith.

  318. 318
    A doc says:

    … or start a full on revolution with lots and lots of lamp posts and piano wire. Thailand is an example of how to do it – except our “army” would not dare to step in.

  319. 319
    A doc says:

    The question is: Who is that weird bloke we see at PMQs with the birdshit on his head?

  320. 320
    Bob Rusk says:

    When I hear him, I think, this guy could be in the Conservatives or Liberals. He talks the same shit for a start. He joined Labour for a reason – it was his best chance to become PM. The Liberals will never have a PM and it’s unlikely that the Cons will elect a black leader. So, there was only one option, Labour.

  321. 321
    nmj says:

    ASAP, I hope.

  322. 322
    Anonymous says:

    Hmm, I’m trying to figure out what the “elephant in the election room” is too. Please explain.

    Also, why does your chart show UKIP overlapping Greens/LibDems/Other?

  323. 323
    A doc says:

    Using fiat currency too no doubt.

  324. 324
    Bob Rusk says:

    Will they be campaigning against the mass immigration that allows Swedish women to be raped? Somehow, I don’t think so.

  325. 325
    A doc says:

    Full of spin..age?

  326. 326
    Bob Rusk says:

    Will they be campaigning against the mass immigration that allows Swedish women to be r@ped? Somehow, I don’t think so.

  327. 327
    A doc says:

    Thickhead Motormouth McGuire needs putting back in his box and then the key dropped somewhere in the middle of the Channel.

  328. 328
    A doc says:

    I am not sure do need a referendum to activate Article 51, but I may be wrong as the EU size 6 font is not my strong point.

  329. 329
    A doc says:


  330. 330
    A doc says:

    No no no nell! The EU lot is ‘allowances’ – ie take it and spend it on whatever you want and no need to produce receipts.

  331. 331
    A doc says:

    Dave, did your esteemed English teacher at Eton not teach you when to use that olde English expression “Fuck off”?

  332. 332
    World Traveller says:

    My consistent experience with Cairo’s barrow boys is that they are generally very honest and do not try to short-weight or short change you.

    PS: You were all correct the other day chaps – there were no Scotch gits in that fried mars bars restaurant either.

  333. 333
    World Traveller says:

    … and the fucking difference between ‘there’ and ‘their’.

    Surely we cannot have yet another illiterate twat as our PM! Mr Pootn would eat him for breakfast with his rice (and pea) crispies.

  334. 334
    A doc says:

    There was also a “Crooked” on that list. Basher and Crooked, the terrible twins of the UKIP benches! Rumpypump had better watch his back…

  335. 335
    A doc says:

    Isn’t La whore the sub capital of pakkkyland?

  336. 336
    A doc says:

    When I grew up, that part of Londonistan was mainly inhabited by bagel eaters. Where did they all go to?

  337. 337
    A doc says:

    Great! Let’s persuade the newly arrived Romanians and Bulgarians to go and settle there. Just tell them there’s lots of spare metal to be had and ton of gold leaf ripe for collecting off all those mosky roofs.

  338. 338
    Phuquit says:

    Oh yes, they’re all Les Miserables except UKIP.

  339. 339
    táxpáyér says:

    Eurozone = Permanent vegetative economy

  340. 340
    couldabin says:

    Clegg got his chance to perform in government when he appeared in the TV debates prior to the GE. Voters stupidly thought that a better “performance” than Dave and Gord, meant he could make a contribution in government.

    Sadly, the only thing he’s proved is that he is as incompetent as the rest. Lies, denial, ideas costing millions that are not thought through properly etc etc.

    We don’t want politicians with charisma. We want them to have foresight, conviction and the ability to push their ideas through parliament. It’s very sad that among the present bunch, there’s no sign of anyone who fits the bill.

  341. 341
    A doc says:

    Because none of them speak a word of Urdu?

  342. 342
    A doc says:

    Just beginning the count. Be with you in a couple of hours. Help yourself to the mint tea and lassies while you wait.

  343. 343
    A doc says:

    Illiterate, uneducated non- English speaking downtrodden muzzy women should not be allowed to vote. The whole exercise in TH should be declared null and void – and never again allowed to participate in any future elections.

  344. 344
    Rtd Colonel says:

    Parody of kinnochio at Sheffield – we’re alllwighhtttttt

  345. 345
    Rtd Colonel says:

    complete bollocks – spoilt papers in my ward totalled less than 5

  346. 346
    EU Mong says:

    Easy on boys; there are only so many non-jobs to give out. French, Germans & Spanish first.

  347. 347
    Alice says:

    That lot looks 100% white to me.
    Where’s all the diversity and multiculturism that they ram down our throats?
    Only for the little people?

  348. 348
    Ed Millimong says:

    Diane, you are the navigator; is the M25 a UKIP seat or what?

  349. 349
    EU Mong says:

    Commissioner for toilet stationery; gulag for that incompetent swine.

  350. 350
    Slimy Bugger says:

    And First Lord of the Treasury for which he receives a second salary. PM is not salaried.

  351. 351
    Slimy Bugger says:

    Are any of the LibDims eager to take Clegg’s place before the election? Better to avoid the odium attached to Clagg and be a “fresh face” when the party prostitutes itself after the GE when Claggy is finished.

  352. 352
    Chuffed to F*ck says:

    Force a GE? While LimpDums are down, Milliband is tottering, Dave quietly panicking and the UKIP rampant? Bring it on!!! Clegg will have zero chance of an EU non-job.

  353. 353
    Chuffed to F*ck says:

    Correct; look at Dave, Cleg & Millibong – at the same time they are MPs, Party Leaders and complete twats.

  354. 354
    Chuffed to F*ck says:

    I have to laugh at the “not understanding the EU” crap. They cannot get into their thick heads that no-one, outside of the bedwetters directly/indiretly employed by the EUSSR – wants to be anywhere near it.

  355. 355
    Chuffed to F*ck says:

    Same screams from LibDems when UKIP won a seat!!!!!

  356. 356
    The current crop says:

    You mean that there are people & places outside of the M25? Fuck me!

  357. 357
    Lefty Mong says:

    At the very least James Bond should be gay, black and disabled.

  358. 358
    broderick crawford says:

    Yesh … but if many of them spoil their papers when in an election booth (excluding the intentional destroyers ) where they can ask for advice , makes you wonder how the ethnics manage to actually understand who to vote for when they are given the three – form postal vote envelope to read , digest , correctly complete
    and return .

    Or perhaps it is all done for them and they just need to put their monicker on it and the Imam will do the rest.

  359. 359
    anonymouse says:

    With apologies to Richard Mottram
    “We’re all fucked. I’m fucked. You’re fucked. The whole Labour Party is fucked. It’s the biggest cock-up ever. We’re all completely fucked”.

  360. 360
    anonymouse says:

    Yes, it’s beginning to look like Manchester Unite all over again.
    “Ed Moribund” is definitely not Premiership material.

  361. 361
    São Paulo resident says:

    Good stereotype but wide of the mark.
    It’s not just the super rich that live in gated communities. It’s pretty much everybody that can scrape together the cash.

    Very very few of these have armed guards. Where I live we do have unarmed security sitting in a (supposedly) bulletproof office to check who is coming in and out.

    We are not surrounded by overcrowded slums, we are surrounded by other apartment blocks, offices and shopping centres.

    That said, the favelas are still a huge problem here, and many years of socialist government have done nothing to solve the issues as far as I can see.

    Similarly, public healthcare is atrocious, public schooling is just as bad, infrastructure is “developing” and levels of violent crime are quite unbelievable.

    At least we have some nice new stadiums.

    And some very rich left wing politicians.

  362. 362
    The Growler says:

    Well you see Geedes and Maqboul have to follow the Master’s line “get Miliband” trouble is he follows the line that Dave and the Conners are the best thing since sliced bread but they came third. There has been far too much personal abuse against Teddy and it passes over the fine line of hard occasional abuse to continuous abuse which then backfires. I wonder if our Nora still thinks the Sun is a Liebore paper?

  363. 363
    The Growler says:

    And you look for those do you?

  364. 364
    Labour Voting Doug Shite In EDinburgh Shitty says:


  365. 365
    Big D says:

    Will Call me Dave now need to do something to get attention such as announcing that he is breaking with the Lib Dums.
    He dont want to make any other changes , especially in regard to upsetting that nice Mrs M in Germany so perhaps he reckons such a move will make us all vote for the Tories again .
    No way Jose .
    And after all he now knows the LDs are dead in the water and simply an extra problem for his lot.
    Plus many of his lot hate the LDs and Dave as well and they must be after his head for the block .

    Well for the moment as our Maggie would have said , rejoice , rejoice

  366. 366
    Rufus Stone says:

    What do the Lib Dems and a toilet have in common? They are also full of shit.

  367. 367
    By the way says:

    As for Hard-Right Tories and UKIP – are they not two cheeks of the same arse?

  368. 368
    Anonymous says:

    more like, Power to the (rich and big business) People?

  369. 369
    The Growler says:

    The voters voted for her beause she isn’t Handy

  370. 370
    The Growler says:

    No Nige has picked up supporters from all three drongo parties, that will be UKip’s weakest point. Dave is supposed to have worked in PR, was he any good at it, I wonder if that Aussie will doing the GE for the Connners, the UK is not Australia, same with liebore and Axelrod the UK is not the USA.

  371. 371
    The Growler says:

    To me B’Liar was a Tory, everything about him, his family conections, education the top Scottish public school, Oxford university.

  372. 372
    ju says:

    Local news reported that a large number of Labour supporters stayed at home but could have made the difference.

    Fastshow presenter questioned if the rise of UKIP would affect beneficial EU legislation related to clean beaches.


  373. 373
    maryjf says:

    I read somwhere on the net that the mid ’90’s labour victory was following a series of TV programmes depicting people struggling in difficult social conditions. This person who was writing on a charity web site, and was saying that based on the circulation of similar material again, labour was on the cards for another victory. They didn’t get it on Europe but have moved up in the local polls. This obviously isn’t appealing to improving economics, it’s about appealing to peoples conscience, and labour seen as a ‘kinder party’, to those in receipt of their spending plans. For example a family might feel bad about taking a single mothers place at the top of a housing waiting list, but an unmarried mother might take no responsibility for depriving a family of a home.

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