May 25th, 2014

Knives Out for Miliband
Round Up of Pre-Results Night Infighting

The Shadow Cabinet are sharpening their knives. One Shadow minister tells the Sindy: “Miliband has got to go. He’s damaged goods, he’s not a Prime Minister,” helpfully adding that “he’s odd-looking and is a bit weird”. Andrew Rawnsley quotes a Shadow Cabinet minister’s verdict that: “the campaign made it all about Ed. That was not sensible.” Another admits in the Sunday Telegraph: “there are people in the country who quite regularly say he is a problem”. A view shared by another Labour MP: “I did not meet a single voter who said anything positive about Ed Miliband out of all the hundreds whose door I knocked on”. Then to top it all oil painting muse Diane Abbott went on the Sunday Politics to lay into her leader’s staff and note that “no-one is going to confuse Ed Miliband with George Clooney any time soon”. Which is just mean.

Tory discipline is holding more steady but that didn’t stop David Davis telling Guido in the Sun on Sunday that Tory HQ are “cheeky little sh*ts”. A Tory insider responds that DD is a “selfish” loser. Basher adds in the Sunday Times his view that “it is time for the government to press the reset button on its European policy” and bring forward the referendum to 2016. Mark Reckless is a bit jumpy in the MoS and Adam Afriyie is off on one again, though the one interesting intervention is from Jackie Doyle Price, who said on Sky News that “there’s definitely a problem with the perception [of Cameron as an out of touch old Etonion]”. That said almost all the Tory jitters are from the awkward squad backbenchers, while Miliband’s snipers are in the Shadow Cabinet…


  1. 1
    tear the scarf says:

    the football hooligans are in town.
    the girlie rugby players better watch out.

  2. 2
    pookie snackumberger says:

    Leave McCluskie’s little boy alone, he’s doing great for Farage.

  3. 3
    Fishy says:

    “there’s definitely a problem with the perception [of Cameron as an out of touch old Etonion]“

    Pah. That’s Labour talk. Someone’s background is not a problem. It’s competence that counts (and Labour ain’t gone any).

    As my doctor says, ‘You don’t have to have the pox to be able to treat it.’

  4. 4
    Rickytshirt says:

    On the basis of the evidence above, I think it’s safe to say they don’t believe they will win this.

  5. 5
    RomaBobbieBooBoo says:

    A bacon buttie…. yummy :)

  6. 6
    RomaBobbieBooBoo says:

    A Botty boy is for life not just for Christmas :)

  7. 7
    Fishy says:

    You can’t say ‘girl’…or ‘girlie’. The BBC say so and they’re adapting their licence detector vans to spot and deal with any non-approved language they hear.

  8. 8
    Vlad the Loudhailer says:

    At least at Eton they teach you to count properly. Where did Miliband go to school?

  9. 9
    UKIP Press Office says:

    UKIP announce press conference tomorrow. “No Q&A”, they say, suggesting a misunderstanding by Patrick O’Flynn of what a “press conference” is.

  10. 10
    The British media are cunts says:

    The fucking media and political mongs don’t get it do they? Changing the mong at the top does nothing. It’s the shit they are all shovelling that we the people don’t like.

    Fucking amazing that they can be so thick.

  11. 11
    Vote UKIP to ensure England remains in the EU says:

    Milliband looks like a spasticated gonk

  12. 12
    Rickytshirt says:

    But you can still say lad though, so that’s fair…oh, hang on…

  13. 13
    The British media are cunts says:


    We know what will be asked.

    Bald 4 eyed BBC spaz “Are you all racists”

    Retarded mong from Channel 4 news “Are you all racists”

    Rest of media “Are you all racists”

    End of conference.

  14. 14
    Vote UKIP to ensure England remains in the EU says:

    UKIP are a totalitarian party of rats

  15. 15
    Spasticated Gonk says:

    Bit harsh.

  16. 16
    The British media are cunts says:

    That is an insult to spaz gonks.

  17. 17
    The British media are cunts says:

    Red Ed won’t be going anywhere. Labour can never get rid of spaz leaders.

    Foot, Kinnock, Brown and Milimong.

  18. 18
    Diane "satnav" Fartbott says:

    Where is this Newmarket-on-Trent place?

  19. 19
    Totalitarian Rat says:

    I always vote Labour.

  20. 20
    Westminster Human Centipede says:

    There is only one political ideology that the human centipede can digest these days and that is Blairism.
    It’s choking a little on Camerons brand of it and needs the real thing again.
    Miliband has to go so as New labour can resume pumping shit into the beast.

  21. 21
    ned ludd says:

    A spazticated gonk? Lol. I had one of those in toy box. Hang on… Rummage, rummage…. Oh, that’s right. I gave it to Mr.McCluskey next door….

  22. 22
    Ivor Biggun says:

    Yes, yes, all very well but the Labour Party didn’t put Weird Ed where he is; the unions did. If he’s going to go, it will have to be the unions who remove him. And do we hear anything from them? We do not.

  23. 23
    Overton says:

    And you expect us to dutifully trust Dave’s 2017 ‘referendum’ bollox right? Is that a cast iron guarantee ?

  24. 24
    Casual Observer 2 says:

    Lad is O.K., as in football.

    Ladette — absolutely verboten sexist term.

    Also “actress” has nearly ceased to exist.

    Fucking PC nonsense, the lot of it.

  25. 25
    The British media are cunts says:

    Free rice and peas Fartybott.

  26. 26
    Botus says:

    Yep he’ll cling on like Brown did.

  27. 27
    sometime I wonder, then I think who cares says:

    They’re not thick, they know how to push the braindeads buttons, to them most are just selling soap powder or soup, it means nothing to them , damage to lives mean nothing to these people.

  28. 28
    James O'Bottom says:

    Look if Millipede becomes PM with about 36% of the vote after a short time Labour will permanently destroy itself. The ‘right’ meanwhile can be in the process of creating a whole new movement with Ukip playing a big role . Scameron can join Labour or the Lib/Dims nobody would notice any difference. He could become editor of the Grauniad but there’s not enough money in it for him.

  29. 29
    A Bishop says:

    “Also “actress” has nearly ceased to exist.”

    Who will I talk to now?

  30. 30
    Hear All See All Say nowt says:

    No Union Spokesma ….sorry spokesperson has ventured onto the stage. Why not?
    Don’t they have an opinion on events?
    They are normally at the head of the q to be quoted!

  31. 31
    thostids says:

    I bet Maria isn’t volunteering to up her dose of hormones and take over the heavy-lifting for “Call me Anal-sex”. Clarke has handed in his Secret cult membership Runes.

    Can you imagine the Buggers, who must know just how big the rout has been, sat around in Chequers. Gove strokes his groin, the white Persian lacked the menace. Osborne counts his falling hairs and fondly imagines each one is a Lib-Dem politician. IDS sniggers. Hammond counts the “liquidated damages” that Crapitas are paying into his Pension Fund for shortfalls on their recruitment of Territorials in lieu of Regulars. At least, the reduction in the number of 16th Airborne reduces the Roll of the French Foreign Legion. Grayling is obsessing over the recruitment of Silks and reckons he’s going to need all the help he can when the Premier Division of Mandarins give them “the Bum’s rush”.
    Are they sitting around the table with a few bottles of Brandy and a loaded Webley revolver or do they feel lucky?
    I thought Clegg looked really haggard today! The man has looked over the abyss and the plank has already been run out. In your own time, my son. Don’t be timid……be a man, oh forget it. Push the pillocks off!

  32. 32
    Expat Geordie says:

    Same prep school as Boris.

  33. 33

    “It’s competence that counts”

    And he scores better on that does he?

  34. 34
    Overton says:

    The Labour campaign was AWFUL – nationally and locally. The leaflet where I am (no concurrent local election) said absolutely NOTHING regarding Europe – it was all ‘cost of living crisis’ ad nauseam. The conservative one at least had a locally relevant pitch.

    So I’m completely baffled that Labour will end up coming second tonight…who the hell votes for that?

  35. 35
    Hear All See All Say nowt says:

    May I remind you that UKIP is not actually a right wing party in the accepted (past) definition- whatever those on the right of the “old” brigade may try to promulgate.

  36. 36
    Fishy says:

    Or even worse, where did Wannabe Chancellor, Ed ‘Twelvety’ Balls go to skool?

  37. 37
    Len McClusterfuck says:

    I’m planning to pull the plug on the useless cnut on Friday. He’s burnt toast.

    Burnum? Evette Bollux? Piccaninny? — Makes no fucking difference. They’re all Westminster Village shits, but one of them will have to do I suppose.

  38. 38
    sometime I wonder, then I think who cares says:

    Why should they change , they have the dummy and it’s operators and the braindead are flocking to for Liebour, the enjoyment will be next year or 2016, when the country ends up bankrupt and the braindead can’t be paid, hope I can still get some popcorn to watch .

  39. 39
    Expat Geordie says:

    Good. I’d hate it if the Labour Party found someone remotely competent to lead them. Although there is little chance of that since Alan Johnson jacked it in.

  40. 40
    Hear All See All Say nowt says:

    Whatever those on the LEFT promulgate.!!!!
    I’ve opened the champers bottle too early.

  41. 41
    Marie Le Pen says:

    Well, we’re much further to the right and we’ve won in France.

  42. 42
    Anonymous says:

    Seems to me Dave’s the Kim Jong Un and Guido’s the unquestioning serf. That’s the only way I can explain why the winner of over 300 seats is portrayed as the loser and the loser of 200+ seats has just gained a magnificent victory.

    Standing the truth on its head – seems like the Tories have taken a few tips from socialists.

  43. 43
    EeeYepBlowing Whistles says:

    someone please point at a reply to him … of earlier

    EeeYepBlowing Whistles says:
    May 25, 2014 at 7:06 pm

    Ughh SC – your first bit ref 364 has at the end of it last two words “Like this”

    We did not have – the “Like this”
    crap on this site as of January 9th 2014 at 9:05pm.

    i am so very flattered that i have reminded you / sparked your memory of

    Elective Dictatorship and FURTHER REMIND – you that you SHOULD BE THANKING i and the gentleman from Preston – for the chance to bring that subject up again – when you had FORGOTTEN IT.

    At least give some credit where credit is damned well due.

    Like this

  44. 44
    Mongo the Labour voter says:

    Mongo vote labour

  45. 45
    Sutherland Inhabitant says:

    The chappie from ‘Quote of the day’, some perceptive sort, hasn’t quite mastered geography, has he? North is generally accepted to be at the ‘top’ of a country. Not the middle.

  46. 46
    Fishy says:

    Than Brown? Miliband, Balls-up, Mrs Testicles, Foghorn, Murderer Burnham ??? Considerably. Infinitely more competence.

  47. 47
    Public Sector Parasites and Benefiteers. says:

    Us, of course.

  48. 48
  49. 49
    Expat Geordie says:

    That question has been answered on here ad nauseum. Basically it is people who are too useless in life to do anything else, and people who hate this country.

  50. 50
    Major Cockstand says:

    Yes ….lets get rid of Ed and get Tristram Hunt another fucking tosser

  51. 51
    The Human Centipede that crawls around Westminster says:

    It’s the Blairites like Dan Hodges who have been looking for a reason to ditch Miliband.
    The loudest voices to criticise Ed are from Labour MP’s and the BBC if you hadn’t noticed.

  52. 52

    Don’t be silly. Bumface makes Major look like Disraeli.

  53. 53
    sometime I wonder, then I think who cares says:

    According to the loonies on the BBC, it’s a far right political party, just like bbbbbnnnnpppp, you really couldn’t make it up, but they do..

  54. 54
    Miriam Dago says:

    Let’s face it, Nickelarse — you’re fucked

  55. 55
    A Polythene Bag, Stuck in a Tree says:

    How did you get up here, Mr Miliband?

  56. 56
    EeeYepBlowing Whistles says:

    CO2 “fucking PC nonsense, the lot of it.”

    That’ll be the dirty bastard hiding his own pedo acts Tatchel over at charidee stonewall then.

    why do the vast majority (2% of the homo population) turn a blind eye to tatchel’s activities …?

  57. 57
    Sutherland Inhabitant says:

    What, the ex-postie whom sacked a professor because he didn’t like what he was saying? Not particularly sound judgement, I guess he must have a hidden phd somewhere to have made that call.

  58. 58
    Ed! says:

    …Please cut it into bite-size chunks that I can suck easily!

  59. 59
    V Gates says:

    Please read the quotation again, more carefully.

  60. 60
    Piccaninny Chucker says:

    He’s a hunt. Liebour needs me as Leader. I’m smooth, polished and the height of PC perfection.

  61. 61
    Fishy says:

    Major’s not an option…nor is Disraeli (even though atheist Ed want’s to turn the clock back – ‘Back to the Future’-like – and beat him to being the first due-ish PM)

  62. 62
    Union Spokesperson says:

    We only try to block new things. Ed is an old thing.

  63. 63
    EeeYepBlowing Whistles says:

    Hey you guy’s – stay on message with “The Public”

    i.e. “Not” a sad fucking tribal wanker of the left or a sad fucking tribal wanker of the right.

    The Public Interest – THE PUBLIC who HATE THE LEFTY BASTARDS AS MUCH AS THE RIGHTY BASTARDS and their political msm Press blood hounds.

  64. 64
    Thick as a plank says:

    Cameron, Milliband, Clegg… They’re all the same. Obsessed with punishing those who work hard and, God forbid, achieve something in life. Ludicrous marginal tax rates, council taxes that serve only to pay for public sector pensions and utter contempt for those of us who actually contribute to the economy.

  65. 65
    non taxable pikey says:

    She would like Newark, centre of Rice growing in the UK and the Peas come from just down the road in Carlisle. (She’d never know the difference)

  66. 66
    sometime I wonder, then I think who cares says:

    Why should they change , they have the dummy and it’s operators and the braindead are flocking to for Liebour, the enjoyment will be next year or 2016, when the country ends up ba-nk-rupt and the braindead can’t be paid, hope I can still get some popcorn to watch .

  67. 67
    EeeYepBlowing Whistles says:

    Expat – i have more dirt on Johnson than Ed the dead from the neck up.

  68. 68
    Captain Kirk says:


    Did someone call? I’ll be right over when I’ve dealt with the Kardashians

  69. 69
    Anonymous says:

  70. 70
    Herman's Helmet, yellow stripe down the back, pink down the front says:

    Er…er…should you be eating that, like?

  71. 71
    Anonymous says:

    Tories and UKIP scum, remember, we will, as always, have the final say:

  72. 72
    EeeYepBlowing Whistles says:

    Have any of these pathetic (paid to produce favourable polls by those who pay them) polling companies factored in a weighting / counter balance to the despicable way that some people were duped into voting for deliberately hoisted lookalike kippers or even of the despicable ones who folded up the election forms …?

    JFHC – Talk about Mugabe / Hanging chads …..

  73. 73
    Andrew Efiong says:

    Labour are so useless I bet their chief plotter is armed with a butter knife!

  74. 74
    Dan Hodges the man with a plan says:

    Get rid of Miliband.I want to be Labours head of Communications in 2015 not have to wait till 2020.
    By then I’ll just be a crusty old fuck like my mum was when she first entered parliament.

  75. 75
    Operation Werewolfe says:

    UKIP be warned, there is always a reckoning:

  76. 76
    EeeYepBlowing Whistles says:

    Let’s be having you SC – you are known to read previous pages –

    Give some damned credit where it is damned well due.

  77. 77
    White rabbit says:

    Don’t fucking laugh, but Tim ‘not nice but monumentally dim’ Farron odds on to replace Clegg. Hey that’ll work. Don’t change any policy but swop the head waiter and the meal will taste real gooood !

  78. 78
    Cloggie, pink down the front, yellow down the back says:

    On shhhit.

  79. 79
    Mornington Crescent says:

    You can still say ‘gay’, though. In fact, it’s positively encouraged.

  80. 80
    Cloggie, pink down the front, yellow down the back says:

    Anyone know where I can get a revolver? Before midnight.

  81. 81
    Raptor says:

    “Rich northerners are more likely to vote Labour than poor southerners” — sidebar quote.

    That is because, apart from footballers and the Duke of Northumberland, “rich northerners” are nearly all grossly-overpaid public sector parasites.

    Of course they are going to vote Labour.

  82. 82
    String Vest says:

    No m8, it is a gravy spoon.

  83. 83
    PIE Ltd says:

    Harriet would be a good replacement.

  84. 84
    Sutherland Inhabitant says:

    Yup, done that. I presume he was talking about the North of England, of which he calls inhabitants Northerners. Unless he is suggesting that us here in Sutherland vote Labour, which we don’t. Well, about 7k did. And we’re all rich.

  85. 85
    String Vest says:

    Stolen from a gravy train.

  86. 86
    Gilbert Fiddler says:

    What a waste of one of the loveliest words in the English dictionary!

  87. 87
    EeeYepBlowing Whistles says:

    Him and ‘Toilets’ Kevin Maguire ….

    What says you Marina Hyde?

  88. 88
    Mornington Crescent says:

    The circular firing squads are firing live rounds in all parties. Excellent.

    Crucially, all of them are worried about *perception*. Ah, perception: never mind the substance, just worry about the style.

    They still – still – don’t get it, do they?

  89. 89
    Sir William Wayde says:

    Marine, my old meuf, have you changed your name?

  90. 90
    Cloggie, pink down the front, yellow down the back says:

    Some h ware over the rainbow……..

  91. 91
    LOL says:
  92. 92
    A mass of near-identical apparatchiks says:

    We are Establishment. Resistance is futile. You will be assimilated.

  93. 93
    Diana Abbott says:

    labour don’t need your support now honkey boy so jus fuk off back to Newarkshire and bum dem own sista.

  94. 94
    Socialism is theft says:

    Labour have a weirdo as leader and a record for trashing the economy every time they get in power. So why are all these idiots voting for them?

  95. 95
    Gerald Grosvenor says:

    I’m a rich Northerner, even if lots of my stuff is in what used to be London.

  96. 96
    Sutherland Inhabitant says:

    Haven’t sussed geography, have you? See above post for indignance of that fact. Middle-ers would be more apt. Northumberland aint very ‘North’ from here.

  97. 97
    V Gates says:

    in the context of English local government elections, ‘Northerner’ can only mean ‘a person from the north of England’. It’s a term that depends on context, in the same was as ‘Sutherland’, which was a southerly land from the point of view of the Norsepersons.

  98. 98
    HadleyFreeman says:

    The word actress is a sexist term used by horrible white people. This is 2014.

    Next I will campaign to abolish the word woman and man – completely sexist. We need #NameEquality. This is 2014.

    This is 2014.

  99. 99
    Stephanie Flanders says:

    That’s the face Ed pulled when he licked my clunge for the first time.

  100. 100
    The British media are cunts says:

    Like swapping a turd sandwich for a vomit stew.

  101. 101
    David Axl Rose says:

    I guess Milliband just doesn’t appeal to Hispanics.

  102. 102
    The British media are cunts says:

    Highly amusing that the choice to replace Milimong is Chukkas your Money.

    Yes we can……..fucking laugh loudly.

  103. 103
    Calamity Clegg, Chief Cockroach says:


  104. 104
    Expat Geordie says:

    Got to agree with that. Cheap housing, well paid public sector job, final salary pension, no real work to do. Just turn up to your Local Labour Party or Union meeting once a month to be seen and your laughing.

  105. 105
    Nick Clegg says:

    In 2015 I promise to deliver to the British people… bottles of milk from my float every morning

  106. 106
    Incapable Vince, deputy Chief Cockroach says:


  107. 107
    Frankly Mr Sheriwanky says:

    pbp >> golcd et cetera

    Racism has got nothing to do with it and you toys are so far out of your depth.

  108. 108
    Expat Geordie says:

    I used to love winding up “professional northerners” by telling them to look at a map. The centre of the country is Leeds. When they say, ah, but I mean England, I tend to respond with words along the lines of your still a southerner to me.

  109. 109
    Vincent Cable says:

    I have never heard of Nick Clegg

  110. 110
    Nick Clogg says:

    Been practising my brave face.

  111. 111
    Chuka ( you can call me Harrison ) Urmunneyaround says:

  112. 112
    Sutherland Inhabitant says:

    Correct, however that context is not apparent from the quote. Thus my point about the assumptions of southerners that someone in the middle of a country is a Northerner. The usual insipid bias we experience up ‘ere.

    They really need to expand their horizons a little. Trapped in the rat cage of the South of England, battling for space (and schools), I guess it’s hard for them.

    Yer all Southerners to me!

  113. 113
  114. 114
    Dan Hodges the man with a plan says:

    Toilets couldn’t be relied on to sex up a dossier if the need should arise.
    I could.

  115. 115
    Mornington Crescent says:

    It’s all kicking off:
    “20h.00: Le FN remporte les européennes. Le FN confirme sa progression d’élection en élection. Le parti de Marine Le Pen arrive en tête selon les premières estimations de TNS Sofres avec 25,4%, suivi par l’UMP (21%) et le PS (13%). L’impopularité du gouvernement a une nouvelle fois des conséquences électorales désastreuses pour les socialistes.”

    This is going to be a good night. :-)

  116. 116
    Tarquin Guevara says:

    Ooh, edgy! Fancy a job for BBC Comedy while we’re still broadcasting? You’ll have to start at zero-hours/voulantery wages, but hey – we’re all Socialists working together!

  117. 117
    De_Barkles says:

    So if Chukker takes over Labour before May 2015 does he have a realistic chance of uniting moderate voters behind him, or would his candidacy have the reverse effect?
    The Mail seem to be leading an ironic sort of campaign to push him into the leadership spotlight.

  118. 118
    String Vest says:

    If you lose all your MEP seats, you should stand down as Deputy Prime Minister. There is no other decent thing to do.

  119. 119
    Buzz Lightyear (Toy story) says:

    That’s it were out of our depth.

  120. 120
    still walking into darkness says:

    I always liked the idea of the TV detector van. If they really worked why would they ask on door stop if you had a TV. Intimidation and fear, classic lefty terror tactics

  121. 121
    Expat Geordie says:

    I suspect that with Johnson in charge we wouldn’t have had the economic problems that we have been lumbered with. His personal circumstances were nowhere near as privileged as most politicians (council estate, having to leave school early to find a job, having to make a limited household income last until pay day, etc) and would make him more inclined to give a shit about the real working class. He wouldn’t have wrecked private pensions out of envy, and he wouldn’t have inflated the economy via house price increases to get the VAT receipts, and I don’t think that he would have introduced all of the new “green” taxes. Basically Labour under Johnson wouldn’t have screwed over the working man in the same way as it did under Blair and Brown, and for me that is important.

    It is interesting to see the reaction of others when he was appointed shadow chancellor. He said that he knew next to nothing about economics, which to this economics graduate would actually be a good thing. Balls offered to lend him some of his old economics text books, the cheeky twat. Considering the mess that Balls and Brown had made of the economy if I was Johnson I would have told him where he could shove his textbooks and to never darken his door again.

    I still think that Johnson is the only person who would be a good leader of the Labour Party, and would take it back to it’s working class roots. Put it another way, he is the best choice in a very shallow and sparsely populated pool. Realistically, I think that my neighbours cat would make a better leader, and indeed prime minister,but Johnson is the only one who could drag out the traditional Labour vote. He is the one that the tories should be scared of. It wont happen though.

  122. 122
    Anonymous says:

    2009: LABOUR 20.3% UKIP 12.8%

  123. 123
    Dan Hodges the man with a plan says:

    Your either in front with me or behind with the mail.

  124. 124
    Mongo the Labour voter says:

    Mongo like photo of Mongo

  125. 125
    Pastimes says:

    The quoted, Phil Collins, also wrote in’t Cleckhuddersfax Post:
    For UKIP:
    “Tonight, tonight, tonight,
    We’re going to make it right.”

    Abit mean but he’s quoted a tweet from ED to Alexrod:

    “You see it’s got me so that I just can’t sleep
    Ooh, get me out of here, please get me out of here
    Just help me I’ll do anything, anything
    You just help, get me out of here

    Tonight, oh…… ”

    (Genesis: Invisible Touch 1987)

  126. 126
    Expat Geordie says:

    I would say publish or be damned, except that it doesn’t really matter, Johnson wont be coming back. See my reply directly above, Johnson would be an acceptable leader as he doesn’t have the baggage of the others, Balls (and hence Cooper) – Browns economic guru, Harman/Hewitt – PIE, and is not public school educated, which makes him a novelty in todays Labour Party. I think that he could actually draw UKIP’s teeth in the north. Fortunately he won’t be back, but if he does come back, could you start publishing about 5 weeks before the election, please?

  127. 127
    EeeYepBlowing Whistles says:

    Statistics and facts
    – That last blog of farage in 1997 was 17 years ago.

    1 – Wasn’t that around the time that the EU started fiddling its accounts?
    2 – Have any of those accounts ever been lawfully audited? [Even by the big four in London!!!]

  128. 128
    Pastimes says:

    I’m a really rich Northerner: I nicked a cardboard box from Waitrose for my “Granny Flat”extension. It’ll last longer than one from Lidl and it’s non-EU kitemarked.

  129. 129
    RED ED - SON OF BROWN says:

    We’ll tax the Tories and borrow from the IMF.

  130. 130
    Expat Geordie says:

    What you mean those little brown “peas” that you find on the fells where those white, sheep looking animals graze?

  131. 131
    Dodgy D. Laws says:

    LibDems don’t do decent things.

  132. 132
    The Left says:

    We have a very complex matrix for working out where any party or entity is on the left-right spectrum:

    Anything nice = Left wing
    Anything horrid = Right wing

    That is how parties like the B’N’P – basically socialist redistributionist with a bit of racial nationalism – get labelled ‘Right wing’.

    You see, it is very complex.

  133. 133
    Expat Geordie says:

    Nowt new there then.

  134. 134
    Axe the Mong says:

    Hello,…hello….Eddie?….you there?

    Listen good. You ain’t no BO and neither is Harrison O Money. I’m outta here, I’ve got the midnight out to NY.

    Don’t bother with pay in lieu, I’m gonna flip,burgers for a bit. Best thing for you is a real job somewhere for a bit, no bacon, just be normal. Er, ….well…do what you can.

    Say bye to Wee Duggie, another loser, will ya. Bye y’all.

  135. 135

    You go about your business and I shall go about mine. For all your righteous intentions you are a bunch of amateurs who do not have the intelligence to know what is going on everywhere around the world on a second by second basis. Have you had party vans waltzing through your front doors? Nope. I doubt no one gives a fucking shit about whatever goes on in your circles. Please do not be offended but you lot are absolutely nothing compared to the grand scheme of things. And without me, regardless of what you perceive to think to be the truth, the world for EVERYONE would be in a far worse state.

    I came your way for pleasure, I enjoy the intrigue and music has got me through shit that basically anyone else would have crumpled from long ago. You don’t want me to pass your way? Don’t fucking threaten me… that is a red rag to the likes of me. He of a status persuasion was incredibly foolish to have posted that lurk remark back late last year. And that is the reason why you have felt so much fucking heat. Ditto in the past with that place that long since refrained from GYAC. I shall bow out from your way in an undisclosed amount of time. Play nice because if you do not you shall really see my dark side. I am top of the food chain Tim, do not be under any doubt that you lot are somehow more important than my work. And the same goes to you Paul you fat mong, if you do not want my presence then all I ask is your fuck off be politely phrased.

    The only reason why EVERYONE on this planet wasn’t slotted as the bells tolled to bring in 2013 was because of me. And that ain’t bluff or bluster. Soon we shall hear for the people have spoken and I am always as ever their shield.

  136. 136
    Anthony Spencer says:

    What do they mean that he looks odd and a bit weird? Could this be because he is Jewish. All this sounds like a bit of Nazi stereotyping. Maybe you should measure his nose! Nasty Britain.

  137. 137
    Nutty Slack says:

    I think Chukka would alienate a substantial number of traditional working class Labour voters.
    (Is it RACIST to say that?)

  138. 138
    absolutelypassionate says:

    George Clooney? The word that comes to mind is loony.

  139. 139
    Captain Foulenough says:

    Too many ethnic minorities will go on voting Labour out of a misplaced sense of gratitude, alas. Many of these people will be small business owners of the sort Miliband loathes and wants to tax out of existence. Sad, really.

  140. 140
    Tachybaptus says:

    Whatever happens in this pseudo-election of little Europuppets, whatever happens next year in the general election of slightly higher-ranking Europuppets, there is a deep satisfaction in seeing the complacent liberal consensus getting the kicking it deserves.

  141. 141
    EeeYepBlowing Whistles says:

    Expat – His time at the DTi – is recorded – his actions and inactions at the DTi alongside Patricia Pie Hewitt – are his undoing and he knows it. He sold out. He is a fork-tongued lying bastard – who did his damndest to introduce zero hours contracts under the lie of it being a win-win for all – he is the bastard of Planet zog.

  142. 142
    Fred the pensioner says:

    What as, the local scarecrow?

  143. 143
    Fred the pensioner says:

    Leaders of any Party should be over 50 years of age and have spent at least ten years actually working in the private sector earning a living other than from the public teats.

  144. 144
    Fred the pensioner says:

    Hey fukwit – just where do you think the IMF gets its money to lend back to you? You should ask George to whisper to you just how much of our money goes towards their coffers.

  145. 145
    broderick crawford says:

    Hiw are the teeth implants going along Ed ?

    At £1500 a tooth make sure the dentist is American….they have longer experience of this procedure .

    Don ‘ t trust those adverts giving 60 percent iff if you have it done in some colonisl ir post communist backwater . ll come home with orthodontics so damaged you might not even be able to eat a bacon sandwich .

  146. 146
    broderick crawford says:

    …… and you Diane , are no Shirley Bassey in a slimline ballgown giving the ” Goldfinger ” rendition full throttle at a packed Royal Albert Hall.

  147. 147
    broderick crawford says:

    “Actress” has been stamped upon by the feminist brigade because in Victorian tines it was a euphemism for what we now call a hooker .

  148. 148
    Anonymous says:

    Jackie Doyle-Price MP for Thurrock must be shitting bricks:-

    UKIP Euro vote in Thurrock 2014: 17,416.
    Winning Tory vote in General Election 2010 Thurrock: 16,869.

    I think Jackie is well and truly fucked.

  149. 149
    Anonymous says:

    I wouldn’t fuck that sour faced troll. I would rather cut my penis off with a rusty spoon. Is she a rug muncher?

  150. 150
    absolutelypassionate says:

    @Anthony Spencer
    Why are you trying to associate weird looks with being Jewish?
    I thought people like you had been consigned to the dustbin of history.

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Boris on British Jihadis. Apparently based on MI5 intel:

“If you look at all the psychological profiling about bombers, they typically will look at porn. They are literally w***ers. Severe onanists. They are tortured. They will be very badly adjusted in their relations with women, and that is a symptom of their feeling of being failures and that the world is against them. They are not making it with girls, and so they turn to other forms of spiritual comfort — which of course is no comfort.”

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