May 22nd, 2014

Electoral Commission Acting On Tweeted Irregularities

Quick action…


  1. 1
    Autobahn says:

    this might be a justification for twitter

  2. 2
    JH2382198409283 says:

    Who would have thought it would be a Labour poster?

  3. 3
    High Dudgeon says:

    The Returning Officer should be sanctioned immediately. Taking a poster down is not good enough, it should not be there in the first place.

  4. 4
    Autobahn says:

    apparently Royal Mail says that they probably can’t do universal deliveries after promise that it was secure ( there’s a fucking surprise )

  5. 5
    The Layabout Parteh answering machine says:


  6. 6
    sarcologist says:

    I would be quite happy with ‘Jimmy’ nailed to the wall everyday. ;)

  7. 7
    Joseph Stalin says:

    The Labour poster is a bit much, even for me.

  8. 8
    Shooty* says:

    And yet nothing will be done.

  9. 9
    Elec Commission says:


  10. 10
    Anonymong says:

    The UK is like a banana republic. Without the republic, or bananas.

  11. 11
    pissed off voter says:

    Responsibility of returning officers? Surely punishment should be forthcoming.

  12. 12
    tigerowl says:

    Just a walk round the polling station, check the walls, no posters, polling station open. Simple really. Election agent of the council needs glasses one thinks.

  13. 13
    arthur says:

    There was a Nazi parading about in our local voting centre at 8.30 this morning. Only me!

  14. 14
    the homonculus says:

    look out fritz look out pierre and gianni
    look out clegg cameron and that retarded boy
    For you the war is over

  15. 15
    Nige says:

    I think it will be Labour coming fourth :-)

  16. 16
    domino says:

    Just spotted people at Polling Station discussing voting Lib-Dem get electoral commission around they must have broken out of Rampton.

  17. 17
    Gunnery Sergeant Hartman says:

    And why in the name of Jasmine Lawrence does a Returning Officer (or anybody he trusts on site), need to be reminded of this?

  18. 18
    arthur says:

    needs gassing more like

  19. 19
    String Vest says:

    I think there is a strong case for getting overseas observers in to monitor our elections. The electoral commission cannot even get the basics right.

  20. 20
    FrankFisher says:

    One party rule? Check
    Compliant media? Check
    Political violence? Check
    Electoral fraud? Check

    All seems to be going to plan, doesn’t it?

  21. 21
    Anonymous says:

    sneaky bastards

  22. 22
    billyboy says:

    the whole vote is a fraud in my opinion. after the relentless lies and smears against ukip (by the state broadcaster), labour postal votes and folding the ukip choice out of the way.

    i’d normally choose ballet box over bombs and bullets, but maybe will have to reassess in the light of the ballot box being rigged

  23. 23
    the homonculus says:

    No wives needed for these votes

    Hopefully the Gernan people will rise again and join with us to cleanse europe

  24. 24
    Double Dim Jim says:

    Labour breaking the rules. Again!

  25. 25
    the homonculus says:

    Get the Russians in, they are sensible folk and bints such as that BBC harridan lawrence tend to have accidents

  26. 26
    Twat watch says:

    So why didn’t the twatterer just tell the returning officer?

  27. 27
    who is who says:

    WHO is WHO
    who is WHO
    WHO is who

  28. 28
    Roger Helmer says:

    UKIP Mercilessly Trolled on the right wing blog “Order Order”

  29. 29
    Ockham's Razor says:

    The United Kingdom Electoral Commission is a laughing stock. It is run by Jenny Watson who is totally and utterly useless. She has never had a proper job in her fucking life but is paid £100,000 for this role which requires her to work all of three fucking days a week FFS! If you have not heard of her before, you will recognise the type just from this description.

    We pay for parasites like these! Why? For God’s sake, why? They cost us a fortune and they do nothing. Sweet FA.

  30. 30
    Genghiz the kahn says:

    Only last week, BBC director of news and current affairs James Harding told a social media conference organised by the BBC Academy of Journalism and the New York Times that corporation staff should not tweet anything they would not say on air – where they are bound by strict BBC guidelines on impartiality.

    Did Jasmine Lawrence think that guidelines on Tweets are only for little people?

  31. 31
    Nick Clegg says:

    I demand a recount.

  32. 32
    Raving Loon says:

    Just mass fraud and police outside of polling stations. Makes you proud.

    #WhyImVotingUKIP: Because I’m tired of living in a f**king s**thole.

  33. 33
    Patrick O'Flynn says:

    I just sneezed and the Romanian lady next to me didn’t bless me!

  34. 34
    domino says:

    They did and they told them its corruptible and open to fraud, and they were observers from countries including Bangladesh, Rwanda and Sierra Leone.

  35. 35
    What about 17 year olds? says:

    under 16’s can watch but not play: under 18’s and ladies can watch and play”

  36. 36
    Fishy says:

    Conduct that would shame a banana republic if you ask me (is it ok to still say that or is it racist now? – I must ask the BBCs Director of Editorial Policy and Standards who seems to decide what we should or shouldn’t say).

    Before the next GE, we should rise up and demand fair elections.

    – Individual Vote registration
    – Limited postal voting
    – Vetting of all election / polling station officials
    – Handling, harvesting and collecting of Ballot papers to be made illegal
    – Increase penalties for voter intimidation and personation
    – Removal of activist and Qango Queen, Jenny Watson as Head of the Electoral Commission
    – All votes must be of equal value (equal-size constituencies)

    And every party leader must agree to these fundamental democratic principles – including Clegg and Miliband who continue to seek to benefit from the current undemocratic arrangements, particularly the unreformed boundaries.

    The simple question for both of them is: ‘Do you agree that everyone’s vote should be of equal value?’

  37. 37
    Ockham's Razor says:

    BBC Academy of Journalism?

    Ha ha! Oh! Ha ha ha! Oh! Hahahahahahahahaha!

    *changes pants*

    What? New York Times?


    *changes pants again*

    What an absolute bunch of c*unts!

  38. 38
    Jack Ketch. says:

    Ex-Liberty, ex-Charter 88, “campaigner for wimmin’s rights”.

  39. 39
    The Growler says:

    To the Electoral Commission please also check throughout the UK for any other parties such as the Conners, LimpyDems and any other party as you never know where the little tinkers will leave a poster just by chance.

  40. 40
    Irritable Sod says:

    Miliband making eyes…. with music

  41. 41
    String Vest says:

    Wow, that is absolutely unbelievable. What a bunch of non deliverers we have in this country. From politicians to the people they appoint, all useless.

  42. 42
    ed milliband peoples representitive of doncaster says:

    probably just walked out of an open prison

  43. 43
    Albert's chainsaw sharpeners says:

    Radio 4 confirmed what Farage had been saying about the amount of Romanians in this country, seems they came in before the allowable deadline and a lot more EU immigrants came in than last year and a lot fewer from outside the EU, emigration was static, well I never now what were they calling Farage, will the bBBC trust look into what their staff has been saying over the past few weeks.

  44. 44
    domino says:

    Then walked back in when they saw Clegg was about to meet and greet them.

  45. 45
    The Growler says:

    You should be lucky no copper passing time at my polling station

  46. 46
    domino says:

    The head of the Electoral Commission back then was (and still is)……tada “Jenny Watson, Labour apparatchik and queen of the quangos”.

  47. 47
    The Growler says:

    Coming forth, that be the Conners

  48. 48
    Confused Voter says:

    Well, after carefully considering all the election literature that’s been stuffed through my letterbox over the last few days, I’ll be voting Carpetright.

  49. 49
    Moley says:


    Anne says:
    May 22, 2014 at 1:39 pm
    At the top of our ballot paper (S.E. London) is “4 Freedoms Party – UKEPP”, even above the “An Independence from Europe” one. We had a leaflet delivered by “UKEPP” last week – it arrived folded inside a Labour leaflet, same deliverer! (But perhaps both parties are using paid deliverers rather than volunteers.)

    Also I voted at two different polling stations this morning, one as a proxy vote. Both ballot papers were folded and not re-opened when they were given to me.

    The Electoral Commission allowed UKEPP???!!!!

  50. 50
    Marie Le Pen says:

    Have you still got your wallet though?

  51. 51
    Anonymous says:

    Ballot boxes are also only being sealed with cable ties, no official seal or lock….

  52. 52
    ed milliband peoples representitive of doncaster says:

    that’s cos she was to busy slipping her hand in your pocket to steal your wallet

  53. 53
    Me says:

    He’s on first base.

  54. 54
    JJ says:

    I’ve just put a complaint in myself to The Electoral Commission on the shady practices in our local polling station.

    Here if you need to too, complaints can be placed here:-

    Thanks Guido.

  55. 55
    Ockham's Razor says:

    Trustee of the Money Advice Trust! Is that so she can give herself advice on how to keep her ill-gotten gains intact?

    There are pages of this fucking garbage: Chair of the Equal Opportunities Commission before the Commission for Equality and Human Rights took over. Farrah Fawcett Majors Society, Banking Code Standards Board for Jesus sake! Victim Support – well we’re the fucking victims. We are paying for all this crap.

    She couldn’t make a penny of profit – even if she lay on her back with her legs parted.

  56. 56
    domino says:

    ECHR Article 1 Protocol 3 provides as follows:

    The High Contracting Parties shall hold free elections at reasonable intervals by secret ballot, under conditions which will ensure the free expression of the opinion of the people in the choice of the legislature.

    ECHR Article 3 of Protocol No.1

    Everyone has the right to elect the government of his/her country by secret vote. Without this right there can be no free and fair elections. It guarantees the citizens’ free expression, the proper representativeness of elected representatives and the legitimacy of the legislative and executive bodies, and by the same token enhances the people’s confidence in the institutions.

    Of course the only problem is when the Government are rigging it they can use “Parliamentary Supremacy” to get around it, so unless someone wants to use Factortame case to annul that defense….only one other option…Guido Mark I

  57. 57
    veejay says:

    It is a pretty obvious breach of the rules.

    I think though we have another issue to face – what happens to the counted ballots in the coming days? Are there enough volunteers and police to be sure that the far left – who have infiltrated the media and academia so completely, aren’t in the counting process and a related position of authority and accidentally throw a lot of ukip votes in the bin.

    It’s very sad we have to think about this in britain but with open fraud in the postal vote system going unpunished what are we to do?

  58. 58
    there's no such thing as a "free" breakfast says:

  59. 59
    The Growler says:

    They all do it they are politicos and trainee politicos aren’t they, only look at the expenses, house flipping scandals etc

  60. 60
    Mike Newland says:

    Mine was folded in Camden. I’ve emailed electoral registration.

  61. 61
    Bill Quango MP says:

    Jeremey Sportscar’s full apology:

    “ I have here the note that was sent at the time to the production office and it says: ‘I didn’t use the N-word here but I’ve just listened through my headphones and it sounds like I did. I.. as I’m sitting here begging your forgiveness for the fact my efforts obviously weren’t quite good enough.

    I have met with the BBC and declared that I will never again say anything in praise of the ‘N’ word – ‘Nigel’, ever again.

    I am fully aware of the BBC policy of banning the use of that hateful ‘Nigel’ word on any programs except where it is culturally acceptable. Such as within the community of left wing comedy panel game show captains, where such a term ‘Yo That ‘N’ is a right a common, possibly, compulsory sentiment..

    I thank you.”

  62. 62
    Moley says:

    But surely they all said “The European Elections don’t really matter”.?

    Before everybody complains too much, perhaps they should ponder on the possibility that someone might want the election declared invalid so that they can have another go at it.?

    Catologue the irregularities and wait for the results.

  63. 63
    veejay says:

    Thanks Guido, you’ve taken some absolutely massive stick on the last week for your anti-ukip stance (ar perhaps it was torybear) but got to say this post was a good one and the sort of thing journalists should be doing today.

  64. 64
    Hmmmm says:

    Unfortunately, they don’t do “nothing”. They have an agenda and I think it seems to be working quite nicely, doesn’t it?

  65. 65
    Maimed Codger says:

    Not GM free I would think…

  66. 66
    bergen says:

    They may as well get some use out of schools. 13 years of our Tone’s “education, education, education” government left them useless for teaching children.

  67. 67
    Moley says:

    Or putting it another way; if UKIP get a good result but have made such a fuss about folded ballot papers that they can’t argue when Cameron (who might be a bit disappointed) demands another vote—-

  68. 68
    Spartacus says:

    massive (and fully justified) stick

  69. 69
    the homonculus says:

    ooooooooooo he loves us alll
    probably buys flowers everyday and cooks for his wife


    Not the sort of thing regulars at the wolfs lair would do

  70. 70
    Winston says:

    Good news: its now pi$$ing down, just when the Labour voters get out of bed to vote.

  71. 71
    JH2382198409283 says:

    They are not ‘free’. We all have to pay for them.

    It is the job of the parent to see that the child is dropped off at school with a decent breakfast in them.

  72. 72
    Maimed Codger says:

    The question should be, why was this banner or poster, allowed in the first place and was their any other Party Propaganda on display inside the voting hall, I suggest this act would nullify the vote through unfair advantage being used to influence voters…..

  73. 73
    lampeter says:

    it’s normally said that it doesn’t matter what the polls say, the only one that matters is the one on election day. personally I’d trust the polls more than the election results. there is too much opportunity for rigging and too many people prepared to do it. postal voting was brought in by Labour specifically to rig the voting – it being known that postal vote cheating is always to Labour’s advantage (as admitted by Stephen Pound Labour MP).

    we need direct democracy, lots of referendums. this once every half decade nonsense that nobody trusts isn’t real democracy.

  74. 74
    Bill Quango MP says:

    Surely you don’t mean that. Where have you been?

    In Liberal Guardian world YOU are responsible for everyone’s problems except your own.

  75. 75
  76. 76
    Maimed Codger says:

    Yes JH I totally agree, Parents should at least have a hearty breakfast, before the rigors of the School Run…

  77. 77
    Raving Loon says:

    Free? Are Kellogs & Nestle working for free now?

  78. 78
    Bill Quango MP says:

    Are they some sort of socialists?

  79. 79
    Spartacus says:

    Free Breakfasts. Right.

    Paid for from the Money Tree. Right?

  80. 80
    Fat Pig says:

    Is that free breakfasts for anyone who just turns up?

  81. 81
    haddock says:

    surely lessons will be learnt ?

    that’s how it usually works when ‘rules have been broken…inadvertently, of course

  82. 82
    Fishy says:

    I don’t think that the Government are rigging it on this occasion.

    The problem with democracy, particularly with those on the left (as evidenced by all of those countries with ‘Democratic’ in their name) is that democracy gets in the way of their totalitarian aims.

    Look at Labour:

    – Their leader was elected undemocratically
    – The Unions call strikes undemocratically
    – Their supporters have sought to gain advantage for their ideals by infiltrating the BBC, Quango’s and other bodies. They are effectively a government in opposition
    – Labour are determined to hang on to their boundaries electoral advantage*
    – When in power, Labour used the votes of their Scottish and Welsh MPs to push through legislation on English-only issues. Legislation that they would not have got through otherwise.

    *A few months ago a senior Labour MP, dismissed the boundaries issue as a quirk of the electoral system and a situation were more Tory voters turn out in rural areas. There votes are wasted.

    Then in the past two weeks, the BBC have, ‘on message’, described the boundaries outrage in the same terms – adopting Labour’s language.

    (But with Labour supporting editors in their newsrooms I wouldn’t expect anything different)

  83. 83
    Round_or_Flat says:

    The SouthEast voting form has:
    “An Independence From Europe” at the top of the form and
    “Your Voice” at the bottom
    (apparently some obscure party from Greenoch, nr. Glasgow).
    Ukip was one from last on the form – but hopefully one to last.

  84. 84
    pissed off voter says:

    Police to be stationed outside polling booths in ‘high risk’ areas.

    That was never required when the country was British.

  85. 85
    Socialism Ate My Future says:

    I’ve got to run the tower hamlet gauntlet after work!

    Vote UKIP! :)

  86. 86
    Fishy says:

    The Labour candidate should be disqualified. Hit them where it hurts.

  87. 87
    Basil from Barcelona says:

    If it had not been for Guido that “Vote Labour” sticker would still be on display in Hunslet.

    I thought it was the British Governlment’s job to provide free and fair Elections which comply with the rules of the EU.

  88. 88
    Ockham's Razor says:

    Nick Clegg was on course to win the fastest lap in his windmill-driven Ford Zephyr but mistakenly got into the Lamborghini Huracan Katrina, parked next to it, just at the moment it developed into a multiple vortex tornado. He was last spotted over central Siberia but it is thought unlikely that he will ever be seen again.

  89. 89
    String Vest says:

    Nice election today in Thailand.

  90. 90
    Bill Quango MP says:

    The returning officer for Dunny-on-the Wold says..

    OK Nick.. we’ll recount.

    1 for lib dem … 2 for lib dem..there..That’s it.

    Want us to recount again?

  91. 91
    woundup says:

    In this part of Wandsworth they have been handing voters Euro ballot papers folded over 4 or 5 times , with the final half fold totally concealing the UKIP candidate, right at the bottom.

    Tried unsuccessfully to contact Wandsworth’s Returning Officer. A member of his staff finally agreed to a request to phone round the Wandsworth polling stations to spell out the Electoral Commission’s standing instructions about handing over ballot papers in an unfolded state.

    Wandsworth seem very complacent about this to say the least. Very poor level of supervision.

    And the Electoral Commission complaints dept has a recorded message saying that their voicemail is full, and to phone back later……

    What a shower.

  92. 92
    the homonculus says:

    Abbot and Sarpong campaigning

  93. 93
    Living a world of fantasy says:


  94. 94
    non taxable pikey says:

    Specsavers for me.

  95. 95
    Diane AbbongoBongott says:

    I hope so

  96. 96
    Anonymous says:

  97. 97
    rimboooo says:

    Feeling enriched in a third world shithole?

  98. 98
    Sack him says:

    Yes, twitter finally has a purpose.

    The question is, which fuckwit gave the job to that particular returning officer and his staff to run an election? Clearly, they have none of the attributes required for the task if they did not remove that poster of their own volition.

  99. 99
  100. 100
    non taxable pikey says:

    Just goes to prove that the British Government couldn’t even find the F*cking Brewery.

  101. 101
    Jack Dromedary says:

    Where? What colour is it?


  102. 102
    non taxable pikey says:

    Tried it in the UK in 1968, it failed.

  103. 103
    Fiiiiiiiiiiiight! says:

    Ex-Manchester United manager David Moyes is being investigated by Lancashire police after reports of scuffle in wine bar, BBC understands

  104. 104
    Poached says:

    A full ENGLISH I hope AND black pudding.

  105. 105
    woundup says:

    Just as I posted this the Returning Officer for Wandsworth happened to return my earlier call, and I have to say he could not have been more helpful or concerned.

    However this does seem today to have been a problem across the country.

  106. 106
    Apthorpe says:

    Yep Dave’s bonfire of the quangos really made an impact. Just vote UKIP and cause the biggest upset in British politics this century so far. Dave and Eb are just two sides of the same coin we need to start changing it and that means we need to disrupt the cosey set up they have. This is the best chance to kick it off you’ll get.

  107. 107
    EX-PAT says:

    There always be an Englandistan

  108. 108
    Autobahn says:

    I have wondered about the possible existence of some mutated brainy fuckers who were just so fucking smart they could do psychological evaluation in an instant and say just the right thing to get anybody to do what they wanted.
    I guess it’s possible, It would be nice to think that the human brain could evolve to be capable of such understanding but then in the real world it seems impossible that such people might exist.

  109. 109
    Blue Peter Goldfish says:

    Makes you wonder about the impartiality of the returning officers and what else they might be getting up to.

  110. 110
    Anonymous says:

    “the Metropolitan Police are making a show of taking it seriously.”
    Of course they are making a show,but they are unlikely to take action against the alleged offenders without pressure being placed on them.
    The more I read of the events surrounding this “election” the more I become convinced of the necessity for the result to be cancelled & it be re-run.

  111. 111
    haddock says:

    guido ?

    journalist ?

    I think you will find that he moved his arse just far enough to read comments on this blog.

  112. 112
    Bran says:

    Call that a breakfast? It looks more like something you would feed to a guinea pig

  113. 113
    A Bakan Sarni says:

    Anyone getting out of bed and thinking of going to a Polling station to vote Labour must be a penny short of a full shilling.

  114. 114
    Moley says:

    The only election rule the EU has is that if they don’t get the result they want, they ignore it.

    See Irish referendum– French referendum—

    For the EU, (or anyone else) Rig the election and you can’t lose.
    if the rigging is successful and you win that’s good, and if the rigging is unsuccessful and you lose, then you’ve got grounds to invalidate the election and demand a rerun with much better smears and scares the second time.

    it’s a sad reflection on this country and its politics that no one trusts the Government to run a free and fair election any more.

  115. 115
    Ed Millibaconbuttie says:

    Labour will just do anything lie cheat steal

    They are just an odious bunch of £):(£&&(

  116. 116
    Hmmmm says:

    Hoorah hoorah!

  117. 117
    A Bakan Sarni says:

    Where there handbags at five paces ?

  118. 118
    Diane Abbot & Costello says:

    Resistance is futile, innit

  119. 119
    Hmmmm says:

    ha – l al

  120. 120
    bleubottle says:

    Would you like me to help you fill in the form ?

  121. 121
    Eh! says:

    Don’t know what your on and I really don’t want to know what your on, it’s either catching , in liquid form or a powder or you smoke it.

  122. 122
    Moley says:

    These people exist and the good ones are all working for supermarkets advising on store layout and product placement.

    The bad ones are in politics, planning election campaigns.

  123. 123
    A man of no importance says:

    Watch out for the grooming gangs.

  124. 124
    returning officer says:

    Well I am a member of Hope not Hate and therefore a decent human being so the local conservatives and labour councilors all voted for me.

    I know my duties well. Ukip votes in the bin, all the rest in the counting pile.

  125. 125
    Ockham's Razor says:

    Dateline Sunday 25 May 2014

    Results for the European Elections brought to you by the BBC
    UKIP 43%
    Labour 22%
    Conservatives 21%
    Green 4%
    Liberal Democrats 1%

    As a result of the above seats are allocated as follows:
    UKIP zero MEPs
    Labour 69 MEPs
    Conservatives 1 MEP
    Green 3 MEPs
    Liberal Democrats who?

    Have you paid your Telly Tax?

  126. 126
    Ockham's Razor says:

    What a terrible thing to say.

  127. 127
    Socialism Ate My Future says:

    I feel fully enriched enough to be selling and moving out!

    The final nail in the coffin were r**a whom somehow got into a communual area and were using it to blow dry their hair / straightners / radios etc all with us resident picking up the tab, not to mention the break ins that have happened since we were enriched.

  128. 128 says:


  129. 129
    Fred the pensioner says:

    Are those corn flakes halal? I think we should be told!

  130. 130
    it am dat woomn ob kulla agin, she says:

    dem ‘lections am no damn good! man o man dem ‘ lections am orl for de raycest folks – don yo go puttn yo croos n e wheres but de layba

  131. 131
    Ha ha! That cunt has deleted his tweet in which he joked about voter tampering says:

  132. 132
    Just a chav says:

    I’m voting UKIP because im too much of a lazy ignorant fuck to get a job and therefore blame my joblessness on immigrants.

  133. 133
    Anonymous says:

    The mop haired fop must be on gardening leave.

  134. 134
    Ockham's Razor says:


  135. 135
    BBC Children In Need (of protection from the BBC) says:

    Former BBC Radio 1 DJ Chris Denning is to be charged with 41 sexual offences, the Crown Prosecution Service has said. The alleged offences, dating from 1967 to 1985, are related to 22 boys aged nine to 16. Mr Denning was one of the original Radio 1 team when the station was launched in 1967. He was initially arrested under Operation Yewtree in June 2013.

  136. 136
    Anonymous says:

    Immigration stats just released for the last year – how many third worlders did Dave let in over the last year ?

  137. 137
    Ockham's Razor says:

    Words are cheap.

    Worms even cheaper.

  138. 138
    Anonymous says:

    Hey Len McFucksky

    Almost all workers are legally entitled to 5.6 weeks’ paid holiday per year (known as statutory leave entitlement or annual leave). An employer can include bank holidays as part of statutory annual leave.

    So why do you want to protect 4 weeks ??

  139. 139
    Fred the pensioner says:

    That was just practice. Problem for us these days is that we have no army left thanks to Cameron’s treachery. Still, it does mean that there are thousands of highly trained people ready when the real revolution starts to get rid of all this shit we are being subjected to.

  140. 140
    Anonymous says:


  141. 141
    Autobahn says:

    it is relevant to the concern that some people are advancing ideas into law to limit human thought by forbidding thought that doesn’t fit in with the plan. You would have to be really smart to have a plan like that or really fucking stupid.
    If somebody says ” Wow, I like your tits ” It’s not sexist, it’s just a guy saying that he’d like to suck on your tits. What’s wrong with that ?

  142. 142
    Awaiting results can be a bottom-burping time says:

    I would guess that Nick Clegg has just been to his local launderette with yet another bag of stained underpants.

  143. 143
    Albert Steptoe says:

    First they came for the muslims and i said nothing because i wasn,t a muslim.
    Then they came for the Africans and i said nothing because i wasn’t African.
    Then they came for the Roma and i said nothing because i wasn’t a Roma.
    Then they knocked at my door and told me taxes were down and the streets were safe.

  144. 144
    The Full English says:

    apart from Black (are we allowed to say that?) Pudding etc

    where’s the bacon?

    where the chips fried in dripping?

    where the fried bread?

    fucking hopeless breakfast

  145. 145
    JH2382198409283 says:

    Couple of stiff Gins to begin with. Day would not be the same without them.

  146. 146
    Cinna says:

    Just been and voted. Civic duty done. No obvious sign of any irregularities. But what I will say is that the the polling station was very busy for this time of day. I’ve been using the same polling station for over 30 years and I’ve never seen it so busy.

    I’ll be interested to see what the the turn out is.

  147. 147
    Bill Quango MP says:

    Oh I think the BBC are quite keen to bring the wibberals back into the fold, moggy.

    12 seats probably – So they can form a coalition with Labour if anything upsets the Milibandwagon.

  148. 148
    Max says:

    Just took my son down to the polling station voting for the first time and he’s 38 voted ukip

  149. 149
    Anonymous says:

    I’ve got a vote labour sticker in all the rooms that I ŕent out and everyone of them has ordered a postal ballot. They said if they weren’t there to fill it in for them so I have. All labour of course.

  150. 150
    Bill Quango MP says:

    I know..I emailed them about it. Said we get 5.6 now + extras.

    They didn’t respond but I believe its because the EU minimum is 4 weeks.
    If so being in the EU is of no benefit to us re holidays as we already get more.

  151. 151
    Sam the Skull drinking Buckfast in Maryhill says:

    Those who cast the ballots decide nothing. Those who count the ballots decide everything. – Stalin

  152. 152
    Autobahn says:

    no listen Eh!, I have met a couple of guys who were way more advanced than me in thinking and I’m reasonably bright so I do think there might be more of them.
    If I was a dictator of a country I would probably isolate them and get them in a room and harness their super powers.

  153. 153
    Sam the Skull drinking Buckfast in Maryhill says:

    At least a Londonistan

  154. 154
    LibLabConner says:

    Embrace our ‘Vibrant & Diverse’ rainbow culture.

  155. 155
    Bikers for Lee Rigby says:

  156. 156
    Anonymous says:

    Is it the policy of the Halifax Bank to push election information? For inside our local outlet was a UKIP handout on a counter. Despite being asked, a staff member refused to bin the offending item. Is the Halifax really helping UKIP get elected?

  157. 157
    A Quote to Note says:

    “If democracy is ever to be threatened, it will not be by revolutionary groups burning government offices and occupying the broadcasting and newspaper offices of the world. It will come from disenchantment, cynicism and despair caused by the realization that the New World Order means we are all to be managed and not represented.” Tony Benn

    And yet, while UKIP must understand this point, if in power – will they be willing to rock the boat?

  158. 158
    Anonymous says:

    I’ve a question re registration for voting.

    When you say there are 4 people entitled to vote in your house.
    How do they know, the 4 people are entitled to vote ?

    Who checks, and when do they check ?

  159. 159
    Nigel Evans MP (con) says:

    Better than me slipping my hand down your trousers.

  160. 160
    nmj says:

    Only a couple?

  161. 161
    Anon & Voting for UKIP ORG says:

    Just been to cast my Vote @ polling station & guess what they are
    still folding the ballot papers. When I stated this wrong, one of the three
    ladies pointed out the guidance notes from the electorial commission !!
    saying they should fold them…….

    Also the ballot boxes are all being held at one location until Sunday
    before they are opened & counted, sounds like the perfect opportunity
    to fiddle the results……….

    Democracy is something ConsLieLaborLebDims Alliance does not allow
    & they will use every form of mendacity & manipulation to ensure they
    retain Political Power over us for there own nefarious ends !!

  162. 162
    Nick Clegg says:

    I just can’t wait for the results!

  163. 163
    Anonymous says:


    Here in Lambeth, same trick. Four folds as the paper is handed to you. How many bother to work it out. ( I did not vote UKIP, since you asked)

  164. 164
    yeti says:

    its always fucking labour isn’t it? tories need to up their game

  165. 165
    Anonymous says:

    Mine folded in Islington too. What a surprise.

  166. 166
    Guido is a Jeremy Hunt says:

    Can I include my UKIP supporting pets in a postal ballot?

  167. 167
    Anonymous says:

    So was ours in Trafford.

  168. 168
    Guido is a Jeremy Hunt says:

    Funniest comment yet!

  169. 169
    Guido is a Jeremy Hunt says:

    Well done that man

  170. 170
    Aparat says:

    For the last 3 or 4 elections, there has been a Labour-rosette-weilding numptie, sitting just in from the entrance to the school (sort of porch area) where my polling station is. Perhaps this is allowed. Though ‘vote Labour’ is only implied, this sort of thing is to be expected from my rotten Labour borough.

    I once didn’t fold my ballot paper sufficiently well, exposing the ‘Conservative’ cross, and you should have seen the faces of the staff drop. I didn’t get any notification of the next two elections and am sure I spotted a little dot by my name, when I went to vote, anyway.

    British democracy, eh?

  171. 171

    At least someone gave a shit.

  172. 172
    RightwinggitRedux says:

    I’m nicking that!

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