May 21st, 2014

Final Polls Put UKIP in First


UKIP: 27%

Lab: 26%

Con: 22%

Green: 10%

LD: 9%


UKIP: 32%

Lab: 25%

Con: 21%

Green: 6%

LD: 6%

They’re predicting an earthquake…


  1. 1
    FrankFisher says:

    Nah. 35%.

    It’s happening.

  2. 2
    Frederick says:

    No thanks to fatty Guido and his tubby sidekick.

  3. 3
    LibLabCon goons says:

    Quick, quick… what can we do? the plebs are about to blow apart our cartel.

    WAYCISTS!!!!!!!! *stabs*

  4. 4
    Dawn Ovtime says:

    Labour will come third.

  5. 5
    Jenny Talwaught says:

    Most people won’t bother voting so I wouldn’t read much into the result. It’s like Eurovision, a freak show for the idle.

  6. 6
    Spartacus says:

    Smear gate tomorrow !

  7. 7
    Spartacus says:

    but will the LibDems lose their deposit?

  8. 8
    Gwakomole' says:

    Odd really
    A large % of voters will go for UKIP. A simarly large number of voters will go for the only party completely behind the EU. The only party offering a wy out and the ability to deliver this is third. Should have just let Hiltler get on with it really.

  9. 9
    Will says:

    Sundays counting of the vote inthe whole of Europe could prove a massive shock to the eu system as they could find that the majority of seats are held by anti eu parties and not just from the uk but all over the continent as many other countries such as Greece, Spain, Italy and Portugal hate the eu more than we do in the uk. Nigel and the rest of ukip might not be able to be dismissed as a bunch of loonies

  10. 10
    Spartacus says:

    And the Bus Pass Elvis Party? – the LimDem’s phreak show is about to begin

  11. 11

    Yougov a bit closer to it, I suspect. Ian Dale thinks so too. When you crunch the regions, it comes back a bit to LabCon. UKIP still up there though.

  12. 12
    Mon Dieu!! says:

    The only thing you can really say about the EU elections is the French will come first.

  13. 13
    Will says:

    So far no candidate has bothered to canvass me despite putti g leaflets thoroughly the door. It’s as of they don’t want to discuss any local issues as we have local council elections tomorrow. So no wonder the electorate hate all the parties and wish a plague on thier houses.

  14. 14
    Spartacus says:

    in out?

    or as the mantra goes (a cast iron)

    Renegotiation of our relationship with Europe

    Or as Fuhrer Merkkle says – you have no rights under the regime you have signed up to, to change anything that we tell you to do

  15. 15
    Spartacus says:

    Soon we will all be one hour ahead on Berlin Time

  16. 16
    Nigel Farage says:

    I told you!

  17. 17
    Dan Hodges says:



  18. 18
    Steve Right says:

    On damage control detail now, are we?

  19. 19

    Meltdown Day approaches… prepare for squealing posh left wing right wing university grads who have never had a proper job to start the blame game…
    and by the way you tried the race card, or the wace card if you are on the left, and it worked..
    well done

    just not the way you expected it to..

    me? I have just started the blame game by filling in my BBC Complaint form against Newsperson Jasmine Lawrence, for compromising her impartiality with a biased political tweet one day before an election..
    I am middle aged and offended by her remarks, therefore

  20. 20
    Common Man says:

    Houses of Parliament is the real freak show…

  21. 21
    Steve Right says:

    Shame they have absolutely no intention of delivering it.

  22. 22
    Anonymous says:

    Got your excuse in early then!

  23. 23
    Anonymous says:

    The dismissive tone of your remark suggests that you think the European Parliament is an irrelevant sideshow with no effect on policy, which is uncomfortably near the truth.

    But if you think that, logically you should be supporting UKIP. However, your tone also suggest that you aren’t. Something doesn’t compute here. Have you abandoned hope? Or do you really want to be ruled by an unelected gang of schlemiels?

  24. 24
    Ken Clarke & Peter Mandelson says:

    Looks like our tactic of paying semi-literate students to troll the right wing message boards all day posting moronic anti-UKIP comments has not been a total success then.

  25. 25
    Spartacus says:

    where do you get them?

    knowing just about all ombudsman and complaint systems, I guess they are printed on toilet paper

  26. 26
    Steve Right says:

    Do you live in a flat? They can’t be bothered with flats.

  27. 27
    Spartacus says:

    hate the eu?

    no coverage on the bbc to support your wild ravings matey

  28. 28
    Steve Right says:

    Anyone from Henley on Thames who talks disparagingly about “white middle class men” needs punching in the face, and quite hard.

  29. 29
    jgm2 says:

    I sincerely hope so Frank. I really do.

    I’ll take a 1% victory.

    The message that the LibLabCon cartel is broken should be all that the voters need. Just look at Fucking Scotland and the SNP. For generations Labour took their votes for granted and yet within two elections they went from third/fourth to power.

    UKIP has 10 months.

    Make it so.

  30. 30
    Vote UKIP says:

    Started already with this story about an alleged UKIP flyer giving advice on how to nick votes.
    The BBC should by rights be able to work out that a party in the lead doesn’t need to rig votes but hey where’s the story?

  31. 31
    Anonymous says:

    On the previous EU and local elections a strange thing happened on the Daily Mail website on the day of elections.

    Up until elections, many of the news articles, especially if they contained a UKIP flavour, would as usual, be overwhelmingly in favour of UKIP, especially if the article contained a smear.

    In the days leading up to the elections there was something of a mini frenzy and popular pro UKIP posts would often receive 2000 + positive recommendations.

    Then something strange happened….

    A large number of negative UKIP posts were suddenly appearing, however strangely they were “attracting” unbelievable numbers numbers of positive recommendations, often 8,000 to 10,000…

    The next day, back to normal.

    Let us see if this same stunt appears again tomorrow….

    That £500,000 illegal bung by the Govt to anti UKIP pressure groups has got to be spent somehow…..

  32. 32
    Pookie Snackumberger says:

    They think they are clever but they are so transparent.

    Still if it keeps them in on their laptops instead of out stabbing UKIP supporters.

  33. 33
    Mike Hodges says:

    I wonder if a certain Mr Clegg is already polishing his CV in preparation for a move to a more European location? Brussels, perhaps? If the polls are to be believed then he’s about to see his party undergo a classic butt kicking and a half. How will his fellow LibDems feel about that? Happy? Ecstatic? Are they likely to feel that their only hope of avoiding general election extermination is a change of leader and an end to the coalition? Could we see a general election in Autumn 2014? Might be just what the Conservatives want, especially with Ed Miliband floundering like a lost halibut.

  34. 34
    jgm2 says:

    Oh well, that’s it settled then. The EU grant receiving BBC isn’t reporting on anti-EU sentiment across Europe so it isn’t happening. Thanks for clearing that up.

  35. 35
    BBC bullshit news says:

    Well after allegations of a vote rigging scandal surely all the election results should be treated with the upmost suspicion.

  36. 36
    Spartacus says:

    I wonder if Beaker in his next post result election interview will have the courage to look at the UKIP representative?

    what a stupid arse Beaker is

  37. 37
    Anonymous says:

    Do you think they’ve being trying to “nudge” public opinion…..

    I think they’ve nudged it the other way….


  38. 38
    Dan "Twat" Hodge says:

    But but but but but

    I said UKIP were racist. I said it 50 times a day for the last 3 weeks!!! In every article. On twitter. On TV. It’s not fair.

    Mummy!! It’s happening again, they’re all ignoring me just like when I said there should be a war against Syria.

    I did everything I could. I smeared Farage constantly, I said he was a racist man. I said he was worse than the B&P. Of course I know it’s bullshit but I want a world of open borderd and Farage and his pesky preference for democracy will stop that, Why won’t you awful white racists listen to me? It is totally racist for a country to control its own borders. Did you know. And. It’s. 2014.

    Anyway look at the birthrates you’ll all be a minotiry soon and I for one welcome that enrichment. If you don’t then in future you’ll be sent for re-education – rightly so. 2014. Modernity. Hope not Hate. Migration Matters. Progress.

    Mummy make it stop. It’s 2014, why won’t they modernise.

    I predict UKIP will get 5% of the vote max on thursday. Nothing more. People have heard their fascists and racist desire for democratic self government and REJECTED it big time.



  39. 39
    Dans the man with a plan says:

    Dan doesn’t give a shit about UKIP he’s just polishing his bl*ck vote credentials for when he becomes the power behind Chuka’s throne.

  40. 40
    Realist says:

    I predict that UKIP will be much higher since many will not have wanted to respond to a questioner because of all the “racist” claims over the last few weeks. I also predict that Labour will do rather better because of postal fraud.

  41. 41
    rimmmer says:

    Cameron had his chance but broke his promise on a referendum. Clegg of course managed to rbeak it about 3 times in a different way each time. Labour simply lied.

    Not a single one is worthy of a man’s vote. All of them put the interests of foreigners before Britain. I can imagine all 3 leaders backed up by Dan Hodges and Cathy Newman lecturing Churchill on how he should be more pro-European. How “appalling”, how racist to not want to invite the Germans to live here.

    Go on Nigel.

    I’m voting UKIP. This year would have been my 25th when I could vote and I’ve supported conservativws non-stop to keep labour out. Not any more. I’m voting for a party I believe in.

  42. 42
    Anonymous says:

    if they win, and I hope they do, I still think the bbc and the three cheeks will be satisfied that they have polarised 70% of the electorate against Europe.

    the 70% are the hardcore losers who quote stuff off the bbc news website, iq below 110 and are women and ethnic minorities.

    if ukip are to push past 30%, the number of white male voters who aren’t pinknews readers or metro sexual, they need to appeal to women for the next GE.

    I don’t think farage is going to win these womens votes in time for 2015, however 2020 may be the time to surplant the libdems.

  43. 43
    JH3904023923-093-4 says:

    Oh, Dan. If only you had said it 60 times! That would have been the big push that changed everybody’s minds and the BBC could have called them ‘Other’ again when reading out the results!

    PS – I’ve seen your mum’s tits and flange.

  44. 44
    Spartacus says:

    I probaly agree with much of your reading of the situation.
    An autumn election 2014 may leave UKIP with an afterglow and better showing, but still no seats.
    But if it goes to next year and the UKIP groundswell has been forgotten, I dont see cameroon getting back into office.
    The only way cammersbaby will have a chance is with an in/out referendum BEFORE the next election. And he has no intention of doing any such thing.

  45. 45
    English minority says:

    The Daily M.ail quite blatantly manipulated the red and green arrows for and against. It is simple deceitful prop.aganda but then all the MSM lie and manipulate the news to fit their agenda.

  46. 46
    'Gypsy' Dave Cooper says:

    Happy days!

  47. 47
    A Pensioner says:

    Well done Frank, keep it going.

    I sense this is a “now or never” moment, and if people don’t do the right thing then they deserve all that will follow.

  48. 48
    Tanks on the lawn in Doncaster North says:


  49. 49
    Dan Hodges Cat says:

    My mums muff wasn’t as hairy and she’s a cat.

  50. 50
    Lost Deposit Party says:

    Please God

  51. 51
    jgm2 says:

    In fairness to Dan Hodges – when he’s not clutching his pearls and swooning about ‘racist’ UKIP – he is brutally honest to the bedwetterati about what a useless, unelectable android Ned Miliband is.

    They can’t say they weren’t warned.

  52. 52
    JH3904023923-093-4 says:

    I think the fact that UKIP will probably still be ahead despite the biggest postal voting scam in this country’s history is worthy of comment.

  53. 53
    Observer says:


  54. 54
    Anonymous says:

    its late. I meant.

    polarised 70% of the electorate against UKIP.

    vive la revolution

  55. 55
    Spartacus says:

    goodness, I sense a undercurrent of disbelief

    the bbc has always been recognised worldwide as honest as the day is long.

    how dare you malign the greatest impartial organ of news known to the free world? next you will be calling them racist

    and now to the story of the Royal Baby

  56. 56
    There's the RIGHT wing; and then there's the WRONG wing. says:

    What page is that bit about “Show disdain for the things you cannot have” on in Machiavelli’s “The Prince”?

  57. 57
    Jenny Taylia says:

    I’M voting for the B&Q

  58. 58
    jgm2 says:

    If Labour come third I will create multiple aliases on CiF and the BBC and lobby for Ed Balls to become Labour party leader.

    You just can’t take any chances with the c*unts.

  59. 59
    PP says:


  60. 60
    There's the RIGHT wing; and then there's the WRONG wing. says:

    you say that, but all the signs are that the other three have given up.

    the only leaflet pushed through my door was a green party one, and that’s in a very blue v purple area.

  61. 61
    There's the RIGHT wing; and then there's the WRONG wing. says:

    nudging each other’s bottoms

  62. 62
    someone says:

    when someone goes too far, there is thorn in the big toe in the right foot.
    when the cork come out of the rosé, the bloodied right eye was avoided, courtesy of the thorn.
    someone says “study feet”

  63. 63

    The frightening thing is the count will not start until Sunday ,WHO WILL BE GUARDING THOSE BALLOT BOXES ,call me Dave will do anything to please his EU masters there is certain to be widespread vote rigging and fraud.
    Be prepared for jubilant banner headlines next week from the Guardian and BBC , and interviews with a shocked and defeated Nigel Farage as the ‘results’ start to come in .
    There will be messages from Barrosso congratulating the British people on reaching the correct decision concerning their European future, and crowds of cheering University students will be shown dancing in the streets as BBC reporters mingle amongst them asking for their reactions on the deserved defeat of UKIP.

  64. 64
    Corby says:


  65. 65
    UKIP Voter says:

    What’s happend to this site. It was fun and amusing wholly anti establishment poking fun at one and all. Now it’s a Tory organ pro establishment out of touch dull site.

    Conservative Home have lost the green and red arrors and the coments are tedious and pseudo intellectual

    There’s more fun to be had winding up native brown enveloping Councillors on planning.

    The establishment are bolting down the hatches.

    They’ll lash out soon, they always do. They don’t like it up ‘em.

    Weather forecast not looking good tomorrow – should keep a few red flag flying commies inside from voting for Labour.

  66. 66
    Bent corrupt third world shit says:

    Some establishment bastard fabricating a UKIP flyer which gives advice on how to knobble an election will be used by the establishment to put a big question mark over the legitimacy of the election results.

  67. 67
    JH3904023923-093-4 says:

    That is his core role. He seems to think he can piggyback these hysterics about UKIP on to things though.

  68. 68
    Albert's chainsaw sharpeners says:

    Will vote UKIP tomorrow and wait and hope that Sunday when the results are announced they destroy the LibLabCons in the EU voting, we haven’t go the locals so EU only, all I can say the LibLabCons have destroyed what bit of democracy we had and the media helped and turned UK politics into a cesspit, both failed the trust of the public and it will be remembered and used against them time and time again and I hope the media lose in terms of revenue, vote UKIP.

    Remember to go and vote, it’s your vote and your choice

  69. 69
    Operation Marshall the dumb student to vote labour says:

    College and university lecturers will be warming up the engines of their mini buses ready to transport smelly half asleep students to polling stations rest assured.

  70. 70
    JH3904023923-093-4 says:

    Hang on, let’s not be hasty.

    I think Mrs Balls could be the real inadvertent cure for any flare up of socialism again in our lifetimes.

    It will show symptoms again circa 2060 though. It’s like fucking Herpes, socialism.

  71. 71
    someone says:

    “guido” is a character.
    anyone can play this character.
    please be specific about who is “G” .
    is it a drug? Gaviscon. Geera.
    someone works for Joshua Reynolds or was that Russel Reynolds. who is who.

  72. 72
    Ghee Dough Forks says:

    No, *I’m* tubby and he’s fat.

    BTW did that UKIP fellow getting stabbed make it onto the TV news?

  73. 73
    BBC is shit says:

    The BBC despite their protestations love the Royal Family.
    Without them the public would realise that Britain is in reality a third world banana republic.

  74. 74
    Anonymous says:

    Vote UK
    Vote UKIP

  75. 75
    TE Lawrence says:

    I’d go with 40%

  76. 76
    LibLabCon says:

    We blame global warming

  77. 77
    Dan Hodges the man with a plan says:

    Miliband out Chuka in birth of the new new Labour party jobs a good un

  78. 78
    Rasta Poet says:

    It like dee ol’ sayin’ –

    Man Go, Woman Come… :)

  79. 79
    Beyond Parody says:


  80. 80
    Don't trust any Westminster politican says:

  81. 81
    JH3904023923-093-4 says:

    To be fair I was hoping for good hot weather, might have been some totty letting it all hang out at the voting booth.

    Hope not Soap types will probably be Jeremy Kyleing it rather than risk getting water on their skin though.

  82. 82
    Rupe's Been Humbled says:

    Hmmm…if these predictions are right, someone isn’t getting their bonus.

  83. 83
    jgm2 says:

    Be careful. Mrs Balls is much more electable than Toxic Ned or Useless Ned.

    For starters she’s a woman and, as Barak O’Bama demonstrated in the US – when 95% of blicks voted for Omaha just ‘cos he’s blick – then a small, but statistically significant number of women will vote for a woman just because… she’s a woman. In a gerrymandered world where 2 or 3% either way is a handsome majority or a coalition government then Labour would be well advised to go for Yvette Cooper as shadow leader. Which I think they will do in July/August of 2015. If not earlier.

    The really funny bit will be when she has to invent an ‘important’ role for he husband to avoid him being shadow chancellor.

  84. 84
    LibDem Candidate says:

    I lost mine somewhere between here and the sperm bank

  85. 85
    Don't trust any Westminster politican says:

    He’s polishing something.

  86. 86
    What do you think of it so far? Rubbish! says:

    On the Morecambe and Wise Christmas Show of 1972, Glenda Jackson played Queen Victoria in a sketch with lines such as “Lord Longford asked me what he should do about the Pornography Bill. I said ‘Pay it’.”

    After singing “Bring Me Sunshine” with Eric and Ernie, her skirt fell down revealing her knickers. Sadly her then 3 year old sprog Daniel has since gone on to make an even bigger fool of himself. He is currently engaged in the liquidation of The Daily Telegraph.

  87. 87
    PP says:

  88. 88
    The Met Office says:

    Rain will suit UKIP. UKIP mean it. Vote UKIP

  89. 89
    Max Clifford: Hero of the left says:

    Vote UKIP if you want to be governed by a snivelling little Marxist rat called Milliband

  90. 90
    jgm2 says:

    We are not the US. There is not 20% of the possible electorate available to vote for ‘one of our own’. Well, not for another generation or so when the Is*lam*ic breeding timebomb finally goes off.

    In the meantime the (still) majority indigenous population will hold their nose along party lines but the culturally enriching third world vote (Labour, voting, for the purpose of) from Sh*i*t*is*tan will have nothing to do with such nonsense.

  91. 91
    Voter says:

    No-one in any of the Westminster parties deserves a bonus. Most of them deserve the sack. Some deserve a jury trial for spending taxpayers’ money on party poltical activities.

  92. 92
    Silence apart from the sound of a lonely bell in the distance says:


  93. 93
    Experience says:

    Vote Tory if you want to be governed by a snivelling little Marxist rat called Cameron

  94. 94
    9-5er says:

    Was any media coverage at all given to issues relevant to the EU?
    The non-campaign of Labour and Cons, and non-coverage by the media of all but shite irrelevence has been a fucking disgrace.

  95. 95
    jgm2 says:

    True. UKIP are like the SNP and the USPS.

    ‘Neither snow nor rain nor heat nor gloom of night stays these couriers from the swift completion of their appointed rounds’

    The SNP’s Little Scotlanders will vote ‘YES’ regardless of tsunami, earthquake, meteor strike or zombie apocalypse. The ‘NO’ vote will stay in if it’s drizzling (practically guaranteed in Fucking Scotland) or if there’s a Rangers match on TV or if there’s an X-Factor show involving ‘1818’ (18 years old and 18 stone) – Moraig from Invershithole.

  96. 96
    Jenny Talwaught says:

    No, just stirring the Cyberkips!

  97. 97
    Lest we forget: Nigel's finest hour(so far) says:

  98. 98
    1 says:

    7.01. For me to register my vote for UKIP in Northern Ireland.

    …fuck the BBC NI who thought UKIP should be excluded from their debate. Bought and paid for by EU. Scum.

  99. 99
    UKIP. first past post(any seat) says:


  100. 100
    Bob Rusk says:

    She mustn’t like her white, middle class, hubby much then, that’s assuming he’s not from bongo-bongo land and she’s not a tuppence-licker.

  101. 101
    jgm2 says:

    Some deserve the noose for misleading parliament in order to wage war in Iraq.

  102. 102
    Bob Rusk says:

    After that, I’m surprised they didn’t drag him out, never to be seen again … probably happen one day when criticism of the EU is outlawed. Vote UKIP and send a big fuck-you to the establishment.

  103. 103
    Dan Hodges the man with a plan says:

    Dan will be proved right not because he’s clever but because Ed is an obvious mong and Blair taught him nobody votes for a loony left labour party.
    Once proved right *cough* Dan will be seen as this great sage Alistair Campbell media savvy bloke and then get behind a Blairite character who can unite both left and right of the Labour party.
    A bl*ck man called chukka who even the most extreme lefty dare not vote against he would fit the bill a treat.

  104. 104
    The BBC, because of the unique way we're funded says:

    Of the people surveyed, less than half of respondents thought recent media stories had been unduly targeting UKIP.

    PS – We know where you live.

  105. 105
    RichUpNorth says:

    We’ve ALL seen ‘em! Saggy tiddies though.

  106. 106
    jgm2 says:

    Criticism of the EU is already outlawed.

    MEPs stand to lose their pension if they haven’t spent their time in office being good little drones and singing ‘Ode to Joy’ 24/7. Let alone the Nigel Farage Experience.

    I also have a vague recollection that, Human Rights Act aside, the EU ‘government’ reserves the right to exact capital punishment on those rebelling against the popularly elected EU parliament.

  107. 107
    Dan Hodges the man with a plan says:

    Despite what lefties say the overwhelming majority of people in the UK aren’t racists and would vote for a party led by a bl*ck man especially if he was packaged as this great unifying hope for all classes races and religions like Obama was.
    Traveling the world largely keeping out of the Miliband clusterfuck then suddenly rediscovered by Dan to lead the Labour party.
    Ta Dah your new PM Chuka and his sidekick on the sofa at no10 Dan the man

  108. 108
    RichUpNorth says:

    Good people fought, and some of them died, for the freedom of the UK. We must do our duty and vote for UK independance. Get out and vote UKIP. Honour our fathers and forefathers. Kick the establishment scum in the teeth.

  109. 109
    The Anglo Saxon says:

    UKIP representing us in the European Parliament, GOD HELP US !

    If you vote UKIP your a complete and utter PRAT !

  110. 110
    jgm2 says:

    That’s rather my point. The indigenous would vote along party/ideological lines but the (relatively) small black vote would polarize somewhat into the ‘he’s one of us’ massif as it did in the US for Barak O’Maha.

    What this means is that a balanced ideological battle between two white blokes with a 50:50 split suddenly becomes a 55:45 split.

    Or, as the victorious candidate likes to call it ‘An overwhelming end*ors*e*ment of my policies’.

  111. 111
    jgm2 says:

    It could be worse. Imagine being a Labour voter during the Imbecility. Imagine being told that your chosen government was being ‘prudent’ and ‘avoiding boom and bust’ even while they were borrowing 30bn quid a year to pay the 1 million public sector workers they’d recruited overnight in 2001/2.

    Imagine further that they were rigging ‘inflation’ to enable an entire generation to borrow a huge amount of money to inflate property pr*i*ces.

    Imagine that it became public knowledge that senior Labour figures ie front bench ministers at the time, were investing in multiple properties, renovating them and flipping them at tax-payer’s expense.

    Picture all that and then try and imagine what kind of an utter fucking moron you would need to be in 2010, when all this was on record and fresh in the memory to still vote Labour. And yet 28% of the UK voters did exactly that.

    And you want us to worry about UKIP voters.

    It’s Labour voters that loosen my bowels.

  112. 112
    jgm2 says:

    The conundrum with the EU elections is that they are simultaneously the most important elections we have and yet the most pointless.

    The most important because, in theory, the MEPs get to vote on 80% of the laws that trickle down to us. The most pointless because they have no say in the formulation of this legislation and are just a rubber-stamping exercise for our unelected Commission.

    Our own parliament, in it’s turn, is merely a rubber-stamping exercise for the 80% of shite that emerges by ‘consensus’ from a couple of dozen unelected frontmen of the ilk of Kinnock, Patten, Mandelson and, (no doubt) very shortly, Clegg.

    In voting terms what this means is that compared to a dictatorship we get about 20 times more votes out of half a billion. However, compared to a democracy all 500,000,000 of us are now governed by 20 or so unelected overlords. And, to date, we just put up with this fucking nonsense.

    I bet even the yanks, back in 1776, with all their fragrant language and list of grievances, didn’t have to put up with legislation proposed and voted on by a couple of dozen unelected appointees.

    It’s not quite a dictatorship but with 500,000,000 people at the whim of a couple of dozen pasty-faced gimps it is a lot closer to a dictatorship than a representative democracy.

    What UK democracy needs is a lot more Hiabs and rope. Pour encourager les autres.

  113. 113
  114. 114
    Cryogenic Geo says:

    Good luck today, Nige! (Not that I think that you’ll need it!) Shit all over the fuckers who did you down, including Fawkes and Fat Boy. Wipe their smug faces and rub them in shit!

  115. 115
    Tachybaptus says:

    ‘Far right’ is a construct in the heads of loony lefties. Once there really was a right wing: a lot of old gents in tweed suits here, or in Europe parties with names like ‘Agrarian’. These are all dead. The three main parties have occupied ground to what used to be left of centre — as far as ‘left’ and ‘right’ mean anything now. Ukip’s policies would have been considered centrist or at most soft right a couple of decades ago.

    What, then, is the ‘far right’ you demonise? As far as I can see, it is rejects from your own lot, like the ex-Socialist Mussolini’s Fascists, and the ex-Marxist Ηitler’s Νazis, and the bizarre ΒΝΡ, whose policies, before they tactfully removed them from their web site, included nationalisation of public services. All these people were or are ex-Socialists who have splintered off into a private sect, and whom therefore the faithful loathe as heretics.

  116. 116
    i don't want nobody telling me what to do says:

    what do oakenfold and rampling and farley and jules and sherrers and harvey and a bunch of other “legends” (the exception being you tim you try hard cnut) have in common? yep your are all devoid of foreskins. amazing that the movement to have the multitude gurning their tits off on magic beans all have that skull cap connection. all of boys own were skids. the only honourable we’ll let you off for having some genuine empathy is andy aka the chairman. me and he go way back. proper a love from out of space coupling. oh and darren hughes and lottie… all cover yo mirrors and salt beef turn out. rocky diesel and ash? yep all salt beefers.

    you ripped off the sound of rimini wholesale and coupled it with the mdma and pretended it was the sound of black america. frankie knuckles was shit. sure he could mix but his productions apart from your love and that special mix of where love lives weren#t up to much and it tells. because your vapid choices terry are shite. sherrers you aren’t even in any league just some blagging cnut. jarvo you need to realize that menges was always a total cnut. as for the robert son granted your book is good but your love street high society mixing was never anything special… but you looked the part.

    ironic that harvey looks like valerie dore’s drummer gone all rocky horror and that valerie (well the mimer) looks like heidi who yep you got it looks just like val. and why exactly did the harvey stay out of the uk for a decade? waiting for some heavy cnut he ripped off to kick the bucket… possibly. if spinal tap had been about selectors your pathetic smacked up eye flashes when putting a tune on like it was a bottle of something vintage would have been right up there.

    yeah it is the big old mazal skid repetitive beat special. vapourizing minds with mdma luring the players the successes into the notion that a big old euro melting pot is wonderful and all you ever see is the beautiful people. bunch of traitorous cnuts. and you terry seem to have an aversion to dj witch hunts? why is that exactly? like a bit of the drug and debase?

    oasis… bunch of mazals. wonderwall basically a serge riff rip off. primal scream and stone roses? yep all skids. just like most of the mainstream media. but we can’t talk about that cos that would be R A S C I S T. u2? yeah they are all skids. geldof and midge ure? yep guess what? they skull cap it up. jon ross (nephew of lew grade) yep? sin a gog. alan and jimmy carr? yeah i think you get the picture now. simon cowell, victoria beckham and her husband? bagel munchers. pete (just researching) townsend and the rest of the who? well i would call them j e w s but the software doesn’t allow us to call people that!!! i wonder fucking why.

    if you mossad subhuman scumbags interfere in any way whatsoever with the vote or the counting then it is a decidely bad bye to your “homeland”. i don’t give a fuck about a bunch of arabs also getting vapourized…. considering the fact that prior to islam coming into being those ancestors of those arabic muzzles were all mazals also.

    i will turn the entire middle east into one big fuck off sized crater. and then we’ll round those of you who live elsewhere up and stomp you all into oblivion.

  117. 117
    Anonymous says:

    the queen is dead hey? what when the tango goes marching?!! pretending to be catholic was quite simply the most stupid arrogant thing you could ever had done. there is nowhere you can hide. fucking wankers.

  118. 118
    non taxable pikey says:

    Oh good, it’s raining which means the bennies vote won’t step outside the front door that my taxes are paying for.

  119. 119
    Pseudanonymous says:

    It will be evem more beautiful than when Gordon Brown got 2 B&P MEPs elected last time…

  120. 120
    non taxable pikey says:

    Excellently put, have a well earned Like. Apologies to the duty pedant for the split infinitve.

  121. 121
    Guest53 says:

    The “Unionstogether” ads on this side (“Like your 4 weeks of holiday? UKIP want to take it away” or words to that effect) tell you everything you need to know. The left are realising that anti-EU sentiment isn’t confined to the extreme right, so they are trying scare tactics to keep “their” voters in line.

  122. 122
    (That's enough Eds, Ed!) says:

    It’s not the votes that count, it’s who counts the votes!

  123. 123
    nell says:

    Going to be an interesting day. We may well see history made here! Of course the other side of the coin is how poorly are the libdems going to do? It looks very dire for them.

  124. 124
    Pookie Snackumberger says:

    Interesting Google page today, they have put their X at the botom of the list, just where I shall be putting mine.

  125. 125
    nell says:

    Everytime I see that ad I think it should read ‘want to keep your 52 weeks a year holidays and generous benefits , vote for labour’

  126. 126
    nell says:

    I don’t think they step outside the door when the sun’s shining so I shouldn’t worry.

  127. 127
    nell says:

    Pray tell what is an anglo saxon?!

  128. 128
    nell says:

    If you vote labour you’re a complete and utter twit – if you vote tory, ukip or libdem then you are simply a voter looking for the best option for yourself and your family.

  129. 129
    Pookie Snackumberger says:

    Dear mr, Tachybaptus, telling it like it is to jimbo is a complete and utter waste of time his mind is fixed and no amount of pragmatic evidence will change it. He is beyond enlightenment.

  130. 130
    disgusted of tunbridge wells says:

    Still, the major politicians refuse to admit the bleeding obvious, that voters are not bloody idiots, that some do have legimate concerns aboout the EU. Address the issue.

  131. 131
    Taxfodder says:


    Their chosen argument….. Elaborate the positive Ignore the negative

    Reverses strategy for all else.

    It used to work but then came the Internet… small voice became many!

  132. 132
    Dat wumn ob kulla says:

    It don’t mean nuttin’ – dem numbas am all raycist

  133. 133

    I seriously question the mentality of anyone who can be bothered to try to understand this!

  134. 134
    Jasmine Lawrence says:

    You’re right, I have a very impartial organ. Pity my organ is now sidelined.

  135. 135
    The Biased Bollocks Corpse says:

    We’ll be watching for that – and, if necessary, fabricate evidence or a picture by our ‘artiste’

  136. 136

    Cue much wailing, weeping and gnashing of teeth from Guido and ToryBoy

  137. 137
    Mornington Crescent says:

    Make the earth move for your darling country. Vote UKIP.

  138. 138
    Roger"I'm so sexy it hurts" Helmer says:

    I’m voting UKIP because a woman’s place is in the home, a gay man’s place is in the closet and a black man’s place is Bongo-Bongo land.

  139. 139
    spot says:

    so here we are , on the abyss of complete wipeout, giving the nation no credibility whatsoever, just more persecution and delusion – ukip, the far right wing party of assorted loons, nazis, disenchanted tories and neredowells claiming victory for an even speedier return to the 17th century than is currently being planned – what a shite nation for getting in this mess in the first place

  140. 140
    non taxable pikey says:

    Hedge Fund Mail’s profits up £73 million last year although 4% down on letters and flat on parcels (in more ways than the obvious.) That’ll make Gideon’s mates happy.

  141. 141
    Long John Silver' s parrot says:

    Vote for UKIP.

    Vote for a dismantled EU.

    Vote for surrender and subservience to the USA.

    Vote for at least two generations of economic decline.

    Vote for compulsory repatriation and expropriation of property

    Vote for protectionism.

    If you fear the challenges Europe presents then Vote UKIP.

  142. 142
    A scaffolders knee wrencher says:

    I’m voting UKIP because I am tired of the establishment, I am voting for a publicly educated ex-commodities trader.

  143. 143
    Excited voter says:

    Just went to my polling station at 6.58am. There was a queue out the door already. Cast my vote for UKIP. There was a sense of excitement in the air. This could be groundbreaking….

  144. 144
    Muammar Ghaddaffi says:

    A Nation gets the Government it deserves.

  145. 145
    non taxable pikey says:

    Oh, has the EU pissedoff Google recently perhaps?

  146. 146
    There's one born every minute says:

    I’m voting UKIP because I have an over-simplified and massively inaccurate view of what being British is because I ready the Daily Mail.

  147. 147
    Moley says:

    Osborne’s campaign was based coldly and deliberately on incitement of hatred.
    He orchestrated a hatred campaign against all the members of UKIP regardless of their colour, their age, their religion, or their country of birth.

    He got the media to join in, believing that if they shouted “racist” as they kicked and screamed and shouted in the mob that that would make them the good guys. Well it didn’t, and they aren’t.

    It was a nasty campaign organised by nasty people in a nasty party, and the Conservatives as a party don’t even deserve to exist, let alone win any votes.

  148. 148
    I am not a rascist, I just suffer from Xenophobia says:

    There is a smell of Eurobonds wafting over the entire EU this morning.

  149. 149
    non taxable pikey says:

    My but the Trolls are up early today.

  150. 150
    Francois "I love Eurobonds and anything younger than me in a skirt" Hollande says:

    If the British are voting today and others are voting later then I think that all communications between all candidates and Leaders should be monitored by an army of EU citizens especially recruited from the ranks of the unemployed.

  151. 151
    Jumbo says:

    Then factor in the 210% turnout from Labour’s postal votes

  152. 152
    Moley says:

    I would like to know if this was purely a Conservative initiative or if it was Europe wide and therefore initiated by the EU.

    Does anybody have any information as to how campaigns against anti EU parties were handled in other countries?

  153. 153
    John Bull says:

    I’m voting Ukip because only Nigel Farage’s prehensile giga penis can swat the immigrants back across the channel.

  154. 154
    Socialism is theft says:

    Many people are not voting because they know that whoever they vote for the EU always gets in – just as it does with the General Election.

  155. 155
    Somebody else says:

    He’ll make a great Ambassador to Haiti.

  156. 156
    albacore says:

    Remember the great conflicts that went on before
    Followed then by induced terror, in the Cold War
    Of impending atomic annihilation?
    Who’d have thought that, instead, by mass immigration
    Traitor Parliaments would wipe the real British out?
    Survival today is what you’re voting about

  157. 157
    Bob the Builder from Budapest says:

    Well if you are not happy you could always go out and vote Conservative.

    They may not know what day of the week it is but at least they can eat a bacon buttie without leaving stains on their silk ties.

  158. 158
    Worker Drone says:

    Today we can start getting our revenge for what the ruling elite elite did to Watt Tyler.

  159. 159
    Socialism is theft says:

    But why? A rational argument may help to convince others. But then Clegg tried that and was trounced by Farage. So all you are left with is sterile invective. And that is the Europhile position in a nutshell.

    All UKIP want is for the British people to have the same rights as those that they have in most other countries of the world: countries like Cuba and Venezuela. To be able to choose a leader to run their country (not have it run by unelected, unaccountable people in Brussels) and decide who can come and live in their country.

    Why is that so wrong?

  160. 160
    Elebos ne'er forget says:

    Ah! Just like that Labour bloke, whatever his name was, somewhere north of Watford did when he won his seat a few months ago.

  161. 161
    C.O.Jones says:

    I’m voting UKIP because I like Tweed, the smack of leather on willow, a foaming head,
    and other sexual preferences.

  162. 162
    Moley says:

    Ironically, kicking Cameron in the teeth as a reward for his dirty work would help the Unionist cause enormously.

    Scotland has the same problem as England; they don’t want to be ruled by people like Cameron and Osborne.

  163. 163
    Socialism is theft says:

    After the Clegg v Farage debate all the anti-UKIPpers are left with is sterile invective. They have no rational argument. And that is the Europhile position in a nutshell.

    All UKIP want is for the British people to have the same rights as those that they have in most other countries of the world: countries like Cuba and Venezuela. To be able to choose a leader to run their country (not have it run by unelected, unaccountable people in Brussels) and decide who can come and live in their country.

    Why is that so wrong?

  164. 164
    Cynical-old-bag says:

    The whole Kinnock family could well be out of a job.

    It could be a really good day.

  165. 165
    Blowing Whistles says:

    I’m voting UKIP because I’m fed up of gay Albanians trying to tell me what size and shape my knob should be.

  166. 166
    Who_are_Yu_Anyway says:

    For 30% of the vote that’s 23.4 MEPs out of 78. If the figure is 37% it rises to 28.9 MEPs.
    Personally I think we ought to play Democratic principles the Aztec way in nominating a person to be divided down the middle. What if we take anybody whose first name is Neil?

  167. 167
    A Party Political Broadcast says:

    Don’t just hope for a better future, VOTE FOR ONE! Vote Green tomorrow – we are already the fourth largest group in European Parliament.

  168. 168
    Anonymous says:

    I would vote UKIP just for the entertainment value.

    But then I can not, because I am one of those that are denied a vote by the corrupt electoral system. There is more for UKIP to do than just annoying the EU.

  169. 169
    Village Idiot says:

    …The politicians “Forgot” that they were voted in by the people, to do the will of the people, whereas, they have been elected by the people, and, for years,neglected the will of the people,creating the country we have today,and feathering their own nests! e.g..The expenses scandal….Ghetto,s, , and so on,too numerous to list all the failings and sown seeds of conflict!
    …Happy voting!

  170. 170
    White rabbit says:

    I love the smell of political fear in the morning.

  171. 171
    Banned says:

    I’m a university lecturer and I am voting UKIP.

  172. 172
    Socialism is theft says:

    Green by name, green by nature. The greens are illogical. They want ever more immigration yet lower CO2 emissions. Impossible, illogical, irrational.

  173. 173
    White rabbit says:

    Weak. Give up

  174. 174
    Pookie Snackumberger says:

    That realy would be the cherry on the cake . . . oh if only.

  175. 175
    nell says:

    + a million!!

  176. 176
    nell says:

    Have all the silly trolls gone to school yet – they need to hurry up or they are going to be late.

  177. 177

    Daniel Jackson liquidating The Daily Telegraph?

    Worst. Stargate. Ever.

  178. 178
    Think as I think or you will be re-educated. says:

    It is the Harriet Harmans who have destroyed this country.

  179. 179
    non taxable pikey says:

    Following from the Guardian Blog this morning:

    “No one expects the Liberal Inquisition! Their two chief weapons are devastatingly supine defeatism, a limp media presence and a compete relinquishment of all their ideals. Their THREE chief weapons.”

  180. 180
    joolz says:

    Oh dear god, not Chukus Youmoney

  181. 181
    Toxic Labour for Spongers, Parasites, Criminals, Green Nazis, Peedos and other Wasters says:

    Time to leave the eu empire.

  182. 182
    Green is the new black. says:

    They want a better environment but are destroying the environment by covering co2 absorbing o2 producing fields with toxic black solar arrays and bird mincing windmills.

  183. 183
    UKIP massacred our fluffy bunnies Labour family says:

    BBC not biased claims biased news reporter.

  184. 184
    duty pedant says:

    fed up with, not fed up of

  185. 185
    Counting votes is a nice earner for Librarians and Teachers says:

    Aren’t the schools shut for polling stations?

  186. 186
    Sally Bercow says:

    I’m giving up my anonymity and nailing my colours to the mast. Tomorrow I will be voting for The Green Party in the European elections.

  187. 187
    Village Idiot says:

    ….Other likes,…Elgar, Shakespeare, Nelson, Churchill, Thatcher, National Trust, Stonehenge, An Island Coastline which used to defend us, Christianity, Humility, Tolerance (wearing a bit thin), Independence, Truth and honesty, Care for the underdog, Fairness (sadly lacking for the indigenous), English Law, Parliament (which needs reclaiming), Self Governance, Fox Hunting and the paraphernalia , Hops (sadly,not grown in the quantities it used to be.)

  188. 188
    The Press deserve to be bankrupt says:

    The press never mentioned the Kinnock Euro dynasty when they were going on at Garage because his wife is a German.

  189. 189
    joolz says:


  190. 190
    White rabbit says:

    You’ve tried hard. It worked for a bit but now it just looks tired and jaded.
    A bit pathetic really.

  191. 191
    You can have any colour as long as it is left-wing says:

    But there was no choice except colour of rosette when we only had the left of center LibLabCon.

  192. 192
    Village Idiot says:

    …Severe case of insomnia?

  193. 193
    non taxable pikey says:

    Another one:

    “If you must call any (one) names then leave it for the 3 main parties – they are the cause of UKIP.

    I have said many times, if they were honest and decent we would have had an EU referendum to totally finish the UKIP threat by now.

    You have to understand as so many of us being forced to vote UKIP do, they will NOT offer one, they are treating the voting public with utter contempt.

    They have caused all this and their arrogance is coming home to roost, I will never forget the silence of the so called Tory Euro sceptics MP’s though, not a bloody whisper ! – that was shameful and gutless and it will be noted come the General Election.”

  194. 194
    Socialism is theft says:

    Just seen an advert (on the right side) by the unions attacking UKIP. Another good reason for voting for them.

  195. 195

    Because Barrosso won’t let him , he’d stop his Brussels job in 2016!

  196. 196
    Farage was Hitler's love child says:

    I will vote UKIP because Britain could be great again if we hand the reins to a bunch of Daily Mail reading, bigoted ignoramuses.

  197. 197
    Placard says:

    To all UKIP supporters,

    voting starts TOMORROW at 7AM.

  198. 198
    non taxable pikey says:

    Hurry up, you are going to miss the school bus.

  199. 199

    They gutless bastards became noticeably less eurosceptic the closer we got to the European elections ,their careers are far more important to them than the freedom and democracy that they swore on oath to uphold.

  200. 200
    Village Idiot says:

    ….Your ilk have created the problem, but, welcome!

  201. 201
    David says:

    Hitler was an authoritarian statist socialist. Nigel is a libertarian. Now, off to school.

  202. 202

    If the greens ever got power they would turn from green to red faster than a frog in a blender.

  203. 203
    Ockham's Razor says:

    To all Labour supporters.

    The vote has been cancelled. No need to go out.

    Time for the deep fried Mars Bars and a good, well-earned rest before sleeping.

  204. 204
    Ockham's Razor says:

    The Window-Lickerisation of politics starts today.

  205. 205
    I've just discovered the joys of bumsex says:

    I shall be voting UKIP because im working part time in a good company .. but would also like to clean car windows at red lights.

  206. 206

    The Kinnocks would then enjoy comfortable ,nay, luxurious retirement living off the fruits of years of treachery.

  207. 207
    Ockham's Razor says:

    Your party’s lost. Even before the vote has been counted.

    Get used to it.

  208. 208
    Lard-Arsed Sponger says:

    I’m voting for a BBQ.

  209. 209
    Taxfodder says:

    Its all over bar the shouting…tomorrow will be entertaining not predictable….

    “what’s important now is the 2015 GE we have much work to do convincing voters the merit in our arguments that is what we are focusing on ”

    “we though we did well under the circumstances”

    “We did better than expected compared to…….”

    “Lessons need to be learned”

    “David Cameron has my full support, would you be so kind as to pass the knife sharpener”

  210. 210
    Ockham's Razor says:

    Just seen an advert (on the right side) for Corporate Affairs.

    So just creeping off for a crafty shag.

  211. 211
  212. 212
    Pookie Snackumberger says:

    With maybe a little ‘puff’ on me ‘backkie’ *taps nose* no what I mean? *winks eye*. Yeah, just got a little quater, *laughs* beenies comes in well andy for me recreationals like *grins, shows moutfull of rotten teeth* then maybe I’ll vote for the old labeor partie *laughs again* if I’m not too out-of-it *stares vacently in to the mid distance*

  213. 213
    Albert's chainsaw sharpeners says:

    Been and voted in both the locals and EU , quite surprised we had locals, I seen no rubbish from the main parties, but then where I live is the end of the world for these so called pillars of society to travel to.

    Don’t forget to go and vote, your decision, your vote,

  214. 214
    Gas Gas Gas says:

    Russia and China sign a 30 year gas deal. Now that is REAL energy security, not the ad-hock windmill here, windmill there that the LibLabCon call energy security.

    Interestingly the MSM and BBC have been very mute on this new deal which effectively cuts Europe from its largest nearest gas supplies.

  215. 215
    ...and the winner is says:

    Not you, you far left facist hatemongering bile spewing ræcist scummy mentally deformed sexually dæviant laughable neanderthal FUD evil hilarious predictive texting failed muso micropenis playground troll. It’s game over – find a new meme.

  216. 216
    jgm2 says:

    Ha. Get it right up you.

  217. 217
    Ockham's Razor says:

  218. 218
  219. 219
    Handycock says:

    I’ve just discovered there is no polling booth in the Priory.I will have to drive to Portsmouth and
    claim the cost on expenses.

  220. 220
    3/4 says:

    Strange that Labour had the Cross of St Patrick flying there in Kinnock’s clip.
    ‘Wunnashun’ Labour effectively erases Northern Ireland.

  221. 221
    haddock says:

    and a good reason for installing adblock

  222. 222
    David Cameron says:

    Morning plebs! I fully intend to be back in charge in 2015. I thought of a load more ways of taxing the Middle Classes so plenty of work left to do…

  223. 223
    your IQ, bank balance, and number of willing sexual partners says:


  224. 224
    Ockham's Razor says:

    Aye! Where there’s mook there’s brass, lad:

  225. 225
    nell says:

    I reckon one of the things that’s going to happen today in this election is that, because of Nigel Farage’s high profile, the turnout is going to be high. Ans a high turnout I suspect will benefit UKIP.

  226. 226
    your IQ, bank balance, and number of willing sexual partners says:

    Quick! Commit Suicide! It’s the only way to.stop UKIP!

  227. 227
    The most amusing claim ever says:

    Even the “Almighty” is on the side of UKIP as it’s pee-ing down and is predicted to do so ALL day….so all those postal votes by “senior citizens” will have a lot of effect and it’s well know that Labour voters don’t go out to vote if it’s raining

  228. 228
    Anonymous says:

    I see the media c*nts (ie media) final line of defence is to suppress as much as they can the fact that there is an election today . BBC have it behind royal mail profits and Sky are trying to bury it in their ‘and finally’ section.

  229. 229
    nell says:

    Lets hope we can give him back his party today – in tatters!!

  230. 230
    your IQ, bank balance, and number of willing sexual partners says:

    I didn’t know Labour – racist fascist mentalist party – were doing that well!

  231. 231
    Anonymous says:


  232. 232
    bergen says:

    At my polling station they opened up by the time of the school clock which was 5 minutes slow and pissed off a number of us calling in on the way to work. None of the poll staff knew what they were doing because the usual people who had run the station for years had all taken early retirement from the council because of “the cuts”.

  233. 233
    The East of England says:

    Ben Brogan has a whiff of Goa’uld about him.

  234. 234
    your IQ, bank balance, and number of willing sexual partners says:

    The Daily Mail is anti-UKIP… Get your memes right, you illiterate swab.

  235. 235
    Don't forget local council workers get in on the act too and that bank clerks also for the count says:

    Not ALL schools…usually only first schools as the polling stations are usually in their school hall and they need that for lunches etc although there may be a requirement for all voters to undertake a criminas record check before being allowed to vote if kids were on premises

  236. 236
    Victoria Nuland & Ann Applebaum says:

    It’ll take me over 2 hours to get to the polling station and cost around £35. I’d pay ten times that much (if necessary) to vote UKIP. And to think I used to canvas for the Tories! Never again.

  237. 237
    Albert's chainsaw sharpeners says:

    You don’t play Napoleon or Hilter with the bear and try and climb over his back wall and write nasty letters about him climbing over somebody else’s wall, without pissing him off, I expect those lovely green countries with windmills and Russian gas flowing, to find out how upset the bear is, when the bear has technical problems in a nice climate change winter and gas supplies fail, the EU is not an Empire, it’s a group of countries tricked into a club by corrupt politicians and will fail because the public want trade but not control from another country, humans are still tribal and that won’t change.

  238. 238
    Kay Burley says:

    I need a frap this morning.

  239. 239
    your IQ, bank balance, and number of willing sexual partners - 0 says:

    The fascist-socialust chip in the laborg hive mind is overheating.

  240. 240
    A politics free day until 10pm that is says:

    There are required to not carry any overtly political reports on a polling day until the polls close so by the Electoral Commissions Guidelines in case they are accused of trying to decide the election(it doesn’t apply any other day of course and all media have been hard at it ” rubbishing UKIP” for the past few days

  241. 241
    Ockham's Razor says:

    Good Lord!

    Is it you, sir?

  242. 242
    Hmmmm says:

    Not mentioned in the Express either…..very strange

  243. 243
    Urgent delivery says:

    Dave, Nick and Ed – watch and weep.

  244. 244
  245. 245
    The BBC rolling news channel says:

    It’s all Charles’ fault

  246. 246
    Jackie Gleason says:

    Always with the nob gags.

  247. 247
    Nigel Farage's garage says:

    When is the Fat One going to haul himself out of his bedpit and post some anti UKIP stuff to entertain us?

    Lazy c*unt.

  248. 248
    Jack Ketch says:

    Except this time the bearded transvestites will come bottom of the polls, (rather than being in the bottoms of the Poles).

  249. 249
    Albert's chainsaw sharpeners says:

    Nell you said you were voting for Camorons Conservatives, why so much interest in UKIP when you have stated you won’t vote for them, you sound as if your confused and UKIP is like scrumping an apple from a neighbours tree, you want the apple but your scared of the consequences,

  250. 250

    The poker is heating up nicely Dave. It will be glowing nice and red for insertion in your arse at 10pm Sunday.

  251. 251
    Ciaran 4Ukip Goggins says:

    I would certainly be voting for Ukip if I was registered to vote because I do not like to see all these foreign Immigrants coming in and taking our benefits and council accomodation.
    Does anyone know by the way why the appeal court has rejected the groovy gangs grounds for appeal that their orihinal trials were sabotaged by plod?
    I thought I had a massive scoop on police corruption, but as usual it proves O know sweet F.A about anything.

  252. 252
    Maqb­oul says:

    It’s on Page 3

  253. 253
    Libidinous Demagogues says:

    Hey! Stop trying to steal LibDem policies, we’re trying to hold in a deposit here!

  254. 254
    Pookie Snackumberger says:

    A BBC spokesman said: ‘Jasmine Lawrence was tweeting from a personal account. She has been reminded of her responsibilities to uphold BBC guidelines. She has deactivated her Twitter account and will now be playing now part in the BBC’s election coverage in coming days.’

    A serial mugger has been reminded of honest behaviour and his responsibilities to the community. He has put away his chiv and will now be not out mugging for the rest of the day.

    Tht’ll teach ‘em.

  255. 255
    looky-likey says:

    Herman van Rumpoy is a dead ringer for Heinrich Himmler.

  256. 256
  257. 257
    Ockham's Razor says:

    Q. What has a c*unt at either end?

    A. A BBC editor.

  258. 258
    Hmmmm says:

    The voting public should be able to recall their MP’s – and the 3-line whip should be removed. Then you would get the results you think you are voting for.

  259. 259
    just asking says:

    Does Jasmine Lawrence think BBC coverage
    of UKIP has been fair and balanced?

  260. 260
    Libidinous Demagogues twitching cock inside a student voters anus says:

    He’s waiting for his mobility scooter – it was the only way of dodging the bullies.

  261. 261
    Fookin Scary says:

    Not quite the whole Kinnock family…

    Helle Thorning-Schmidt, the next president of the European Commission?

  262. 262
    Libidinous Demagogues twitching cock inside a student voters anus says:

    Someone’s bern reading the LibDem manifesto again.
    It must be the yellow that throws ‘em.

  263. 263
    nell says:

    Not everyone is an avid supporter of one party – although I’ll admit that of all the parties on offer I’m most in favour of the tories. My interest in politics is much wider than that; it’s one of the subjects I studied at Open University. Political characters, political trends and swings ,they all interest me. And there is no doubt that we are seeing a political phenomenon emerge with ukip and that they may well make political history today. I just find politics watching very interesting.

  264. 264
    Albert's chainsaw sharpeners says:

    Money for old rope for G and co, think about it, the windowlickers that come here most have minds and know what politics they will vote for, a bit of advertising won’t change it, just think of the advert as blossom, it will die and eventually a lovely flower will be there instead.

  265. 265
    Maqb­oul says:

    These are the European elections numbnutz.

  266. 266
    Libidinous Demagogues twitching cock inside a student voters anus says:

    Not for long …creamy white thighsmmmmm

  267. 267
    Sunny Jim says:

    Except that we didn’t sign up to the EU – not with a mandate from the electorate anyway. The global colossus (that’s sarcasm, by the way) Gorgon Broon betrayed us by signing Lisbon

  268. 268
    The Revolution will not be broadcast says:

    Duty done. Spring revolution started. Now a long wait for the pubs to open.

  269. 269
    White City Resident says:

    ‘and she’s not a tuppence-licker.’

    She works for the BBC, doesn’t she? Muff said!

  270. 270
    Jack Ketch says:

    Four days between polling and the announcement of results? I have experienced elections in Zimbabwe–not only to ballots go missing, so do polling stations, opposition candidates and election monitors. Four days is plenty of time to fiddle the result.

  271. 271
    Albert's chainsaw sharpeners says:

    The bBBC has “guidelines” well I’ll go to the foot of our stairs, Nations shall speak unto Nation but be biased and untrustworthy and shall throw those who won’t pay their poll tax into jail and shall not report what’s it deems not acceptable by it’s political friends and will piss on it’s public at all times , as they are the lowest of the low and are not our EU friends who lend us money at low rates.

  272. 272
    Jack Ketch says:

    “Anglo-Saxon”–a swear word, an obscenity, especially those composed of four letters.

  273. 273
    UKIPPER says:

    The Times they are a changing

    Come all the electorate throughout the UK
    It’s time to ignore what the LIBLABCON say
    Lets face it these parties have all had their day
    Our politics need rearranging
    So go out and vote UKIP lets sweep them away
    For the times they are a changing

    Not one of them listens to our point of view
    They’d sooner give our cash to the EU
    So lets kick them out and try something new
    We can’t afford this lot remaining
    Political rethink is long overdue
    For the times they are a changing

    They lied about Lisbon and promised a vote
    There all Europhiles and in the same boat
    Their treachery just bring a lump to my throat
    As each other they just keep blaming
    So send them a message and let them take note
    That the times they are a changing

    We will no longer tolerate lies being told
    Tax breaks for the rich but more tax for the old
    Ruled from the EU and our birthrights sold
    They ignore us when we are complaining
    If we all vote UKIP there out in the cold
    For the times they all need changing

    Now that the EU elections are near
    The full UKIP smear campaign slips into gear
    But UKIP aren’t crooks so there’s nothing to fear
    Establishment over reaction
    UKIP don’t swindle there well in the clear
    For the “TIMES” they are a changing

  274. 274
    peterthepainter says:

    I am a PRAT and proud of it.

  275. 275
    Yolanda Squatpump says:

    They think it’s all over… is on Sunday!
    Eat the rich.

  276. 276
    peterthepainter says:

    Get a postal vote.

    Vote early, vote often. You know it makes sense.

  277. 277
    peterthepainter says:

    Fed up with, not fed up of.

    Notice the capital letter and the full stop.

  278. 278
    Cynical-old-bag says:

    This is unavoidable, I’m afraid, but at least they won’t be able to get any more money out of us.

  279. 279
    Big D says:

    The Old Empire fight begins.
    Canada, Australia, India we love you all .
    Sorry about the so and sos who deserted you for years , it wont happen again.
    Up the Commonwealth.

  280. 280
    Jack Ketch says:

    Is not the just the CO2, but also the methane! An extra 3,000,000 consumers of diets high in curry and lentils will release approx. 547 million litres of fart gases per year into the atmosphere.

  281. 281
    Gordo McDoom says:

    You moron, this is far too wordy, you know our ‘progressive’ voter base only reads line one – and you have just told them to vote UKIP.

  282. 282
    Anonymous says:

    “Polls Put UKIP in First”
    And there was me thinking, it was the antics of some Romanians.

    ps. Do you suppose Putin may be coming here, to offer Charles the post of unelected titular talking-head? Undemocratically imposed on the disenfranchised peoples, of a mismanaged power-poor debt-rich subjugated satellite realm. Which has been surreptitiously and systematically stripped of all referendum rights of self determination (Nazi-rise style). Whilst a remote and unaccountable tyrannical oligarchy, actually commands and controls. From atop some distant and insular twin ivory Towers of Babble, situated on another landmass. Because if so. Shouldn’t someone at least have the courtesy to inform him, he’s a decade or more too late?

  283. 283
    Bob c untface Crow says:

    Thanks,thats my weekend sorted.

  284. 284
    Rob Roy says:

    Putin will be coming to help the Scots with their Defence strategy and will give years of work to Scottish shipyards.

    Vote Yes for Freedom and Au Revoir to Westminster domination and patronage.

  285. 285
    Mrs Nicholas Clegg says:

    Rumour has it that Samantha Cameron has not voted for the Conservatives.

  286. 286
    Forward with guidance says:

    It would have been alot fairer if the counting had been assigned to all those on the dole claiming unemployment benefits.

    They could have all been a little better off and there would be a saving for the taxpayer too.

  287. 287
    Bob c untface Crow says:

    Used to like D Rampling but have a like or two anyway.

  288. 288
    White Dee says:

    Its sunny here

  289. 289
    Elsie Hargreaves 5 Railway Terrace Dewsbury says:

    I will not be voting today.

    I am too scared to leave my house because of all those murderers who have been allowed to escape from our prisons.

    it is not safe to get out and about in Dewsbury.

  290. 290
    The former President of Ukraine says:

    Whoever wins this election you can guarantee nothing much will change.

    A few right wing fruitcakes will mean the rest will gang up with their expense accounts and block any change.

    There will still be Jolies with the Bankers until there is rioting and blood on the streets.

  291. 291
    Bob C untface Crow says:

    Im just glad it polling day so hopefully Nige can take a bit of time off,the poor bastard looks fucking wrecked.Well done Nigel,your country thanks you.

  292. 292
    Davo says:

    Best inserted back to front, so he burns his hands trying to pull it back out.

  293. 293
    JH2382198409283 says:

    I think UKIP winning the EU elections was pretty unthinkable to our betters only a couple of years ago. This will but the shit up all of them.

    Labour will be flapping because (supposedly) right of centre parties are getting ~60% of the vote, including a lot of ‘their’ votes.

    Tories will be flapping because this creates massive internal pressure to start actually listening to their base rather than trying to appease Owen fucking Jones 24/7.

    Lib Dems will be flapping because prize marrows at village fete veg competitions have been known to get more votes than they did.

  294. 294
    Ciaran 4Ukip Goggins says:

    Sorry to disappoint you but I am Spartacus.

  295. 295
    Send Blair to the Hague says:

    In the land of the blind, the one-eyed man is king. Everywhere else, he’s just an arsehole with a squint.

  296. 296
    Ciaran 4Ukip Goggins says:

    Go Ukip! By the way does anyone out there know the difference between a criminal trial and a appeal against conviction?
    Am I right in thinking that in a criminal appeal an appellant can submit any amount of fanciful and imaginative crap to the court in support of their appeal even if not supported by any evidence?
    Is it also true that the panel of appeal judges have to explain in their considered judgement why they are ignoring the fairy tale?
    Lastly am I correct in thinking that when someone visits a prisoner in prision, they are required to gill out a visiting order request that the prisoner also has to sign?
    Lastly how can someone be convicted of perjury in a case which they did not even attend, let alone give evidence?
    I have a horrible feeling I am going to end up lookinh a real dumb stoopid fecker and possibly have my sorry arse well kicked.

Seen Elsewhere

UKIP’s Youth Challenge | BBC
ISIS Operative: This Is How We Send Jihadis To Europe | BuzzFeed
Shapps Defends Bashir Defection | Seb Payne
Tory Leadership Contenders Jostle Over Europe | Alex Wickham
Cutting Taxes is Good For You | Art Laffer
Suspects Will Now Have to Prove Innocence | Laura Perrins
Labour Cllr: Cops Shouldn’t Stop Petrol Thieves | HandF Forum
Creeping Cultural Acceptance of Anti-Semitism | Eric Pickles
Time For Greece to Leave Eurozone | Allister Heath
Boris: Jihadis are W*nkers | Sun
Ed Miliband: International Sex Symbol | Telegraph

Rising Stars
Find out more about PLMR AD-MS

Boris on British Jihadis. Apparently based on MI5 intel:

“If you look at all the psychological profiling about bombers, they typically will look at porn. They are literally w***ers. Severe onanists. They are tortured. They will be very badly adjusted in their relations with women, and that is a symptom of their feeling of being failures and that the world is against them. They are not making it with girls, and so they turn to other forms of spiritual comfort — which of course is no comfort.”

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