May 21st, 2014

Ed’s Shopping List

The Times recreates Ed’s Miliband’s shopping list this morning:

“Freshly squeezed middle orange Juice
Brownite bread
Renegade (u)kippers
Nasal wine
Can’t katchup
Endless waffles
Bitter Co-op stew
Red cabbage
Frostie receptions
Microwave meal for one (nation)
Mushroom tax
Minimum sage
Smoked Salmond (Alex)
Filet of Sturgeon (Nicola)
Ice Cream (In the night wondering where it is all going wrong flavour)
Flake
Semi-skimmed union funding
TUC crackers
Abandoned third wafers
Disappointing opinion polo mints
All butter Ed Dough Balls
Handy Andy Burnhams
Stephen Twigglets
Harman’s mayonnaise
Luciana Burgers
Crisp Bryants
Sour grapes
Marx bars
Engel’s delight
Vladimir lemons
Very low energy light bulbs
Hot Chilcot Sauce
Iraq of lamb
I Can’t Believe It’s Not Better
Please lettuce have a go
Guacamole (also known as mushy peas)
No bananas
TOTAL: £70 (or maybe £80)”


7 Comments

  1. 1

    Priceless Guido, especially Engel’s Delight.

    Like

  2. 2
    Ken says:

    Absolutely spanktastic!

    Like

  3. 3
    Anonymous says:

    No bacon?

    Like

  4. 4
    Halal Pork Pie says:

    Interesting fact: Despite being of the faith, Ed is not circumcised.

    The surgeon tried but admitted ‘I can’t do it… There’s no end to this prick.’

    Like

  5. 5
    Up yours Herman says:

    You forgot Harriet Pie

    Like

  6. 6
    The Silent Majority says:

    Extra bog roll for Friday morning – vote UKIP!

    Like

  7. 7
    The Silent Majority says:

    Bunch of bananas in case he needs to form a cabinet

    Like


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Eddie Izzard, in his thirteenth year involved in politics, says he’s not cursed because it took Sir Alex Ferguson “seven years to win the premiership so it doesn’t really matter.”



cynic says:

Can anyone help me? I went on holiday a week ago and returned to find someone has pulled out the stake and Gordon Brown is back and acting as Prime Minister. What did I miss? Has there been a snap election?


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