May 21st, 2014

Ed’s Shopping List

The Times recreates Ed’s Miliband’s shopping list this morning:

“Freshly squeezed middle orange Juice
Brownite bread
Renegade (u)kippers
Nasal wine
Can’t katchup
Endless waffles
Bitter Co-op stew
Red cabbage
Frostie receptions
Microwave meal for one (nation)
Mushroom tax
Minimum sage
Smoked Salmond (Alex)
Filet of Sturgeon (Nicola)
Ice Cream (In the night wondering where it is all going wrong flavour)
Flake
Semi-skimmed union funding
TUC crackers
Abandoned third wafers
Disappointing opinion polo mints
All butter Ed Dough Balls
Handy Andy Burnhams
Stephen Twigglets
Harman’s mayonnaise
Luciana Burgers
Crisp Bryants
Sour grapes
Marx bars
Engel’s delight
Vladimir lemons
Very low energy light bulbs
Hot Chilcot Sauce
Iraq of lamb
I Can’t Believe It’s Not Better
Please lettuce have a go
Guacamole (also known as mushy peas)
No bananas
TOTAL: £70 (or maybe £80)”


7 Comments

  1. 1

    Priceless Guido, especially Engel’s Delight.

    Like

  2. 2
    Ken says:

    Absolutely spanktastic!

    Like

  3. 3
    Anonymous says:

    No bacon?

    Like

  4. 4
    Halal Pork Pie says:

    Interesting fact: Despite being of the faith, Ed is not circumcised.

    The surgeon tried but admitted ‘I can’t do it… There’s no end to this prick.’

    Like

  5. 5
    Up yours Herman says:

    You forgot Harriet Pie

    Like

  6. 6
    The Silent Majority says:

    Extra bog roll for Friday morning – vote UKIP!

    Like

  7. 7
    The Silent Majority says:

    Bunch of bananas in case he needs to form a cabinet

    Like


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VOTER-RECALL
Find out more about PLMR


Austrian Chancellor Werner Faymann on Cameron’s refusal to pay the £1.7 billion EU bill by December 1st:

“Well, then he’s gonna pay on December 2nd”



Mycroft says:

Have you read the last bit of Animal Farm?

You know where the animals are looking through the Farmhouse window?

My TV screen was that window at lunch-time today.

Be careful, the sudden self-congratulatory tone, the slightly pudgy outline of indulgence and you become exactly what you should despise.

The jolly face of the Quisling Cameron poses for your camera has mesmerised and deceived you, you who were once not so deceived.

You were no firebrand, you were a damp squib in my opinion, sorry.

You need a damned good kick up the ahse!


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