Ed’s Shopping List

The Times recreates Ed’s Miliband’s shopping list this morning:

“Freshly squeezed middle orange Juice
Brownite bread
Renegade (u)kippers
Nasal wine
Can’t katchup
Endless waffles
Bitter Co-op stew
Red cabbage
Frostie receptions
Microwave meal for one (nation)
Mushroom tax
Minimum sage
Smoked Salmond (Alex)
Filet of Sturgeon (Nicola)
Ice Cream (In the night wondering where it is all going wrong flavour)
Flake
Semi-skimmed union funding
TUC crackers
Abandoned third wafers
Disappointing opinion polo mints
All butter Ed Dough Balls
Handy Andy Burnhams
Stephen Twigglets
Harman’s mayonnaise
Luciana Burgers
Crisp Bryants
Sour grapes
Marx bars
Engel’s delight
Vladimir lemons
Very low energy light bulbs
Hot Chilcot Sauce
Iraq of lamb
I Can’t Believe It’s Not Better
Please lettuce have a go
Guacamole (also known as mushy peas)
No bananas
TOTAL: £70 (or maybe £80)”




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“If the ball came loose at the back of the scrum, I wouldn’t fumble it”

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