May 20th, 2014

Misery Index: Summer is Coming

A weekend heatwave, wall to wall sunshine and even a slight drop in unemployment – it’s no wonder we are all so happy. This is one of the most joyous months we have had under this government, with the Retail Prices Index staying at 2.5%, more people in work and a three day weekend awaiting us. There has however been a rise in the Public Sector Net Cash Requirement, meaning we are not quite as happy as our happiness peak in February this year. The clear trend of decline in misery since February 2011 remains…

N.B. stats bods can check Guido’s adding up here.


  1. 1
    Anonymous says:


  2. 2
    Silent Bob's bobcat says:

    We will be less miserable on Friday.

  3. 3
    BBC NEWS says:

    This is all due to the rise in UKIP support.

  4. 4
    F##k the LibLabCon says:


  5. 5
    Long John Silver' s parrot says:

    Thank God for David Cameron.

  6. 6
    Why doesn't Guido sack the fat one and put Alex in his place? says:

    The Salad Dodger is twenty times the size of Alex.

    Alex has twenty times the brain of the fat one.

  7. 7
    The vast majority of the population says:


  8. 8
    LKW Logistics, București says:

    It would be better to see both of you under a truck.

  9. 9
    Wake up & vote UKIP says:

    I’d like to see both of you on the road, well, playing chicken on the M1 would be nice.

  10. 10
    Thursday the 22nd of May says:

  11. 11
    Metropratts says:

    All in this together ….. if you’re one of us.

  12. 12
    Vote for Nige says:

    Although the EU vote isn’t officially counted until Sunday, I’m sure we will have a very good idea of how it’s gone before then.

  13. 13
    King James 1 says:

    Why is it always assumed that everybody ‘enjoys’ hot weather. And bank holidays are surely an anachronism. As is socialism.

  14. 14
    sorry to disappoint but says:

    We don’t bother with the BBC News any more.

  15. 15
    actually says:

    I’m happy and optimistic.

  16. 16
    Mornington Crescent says:

    Not quite the hard time that you’ve been giving Farage, is it, Robinson?

  17. 17
    Silent Bob's bobcat says:

    At least by Friday, many of the c*unts in the meeja, including one far too close to home, will have to cease their dogma, not-so-cunningly disguised as news reporting.

    Did I say c*unts? Will just say it again, in case I didn’t: c*unt’s!

  18. 18
  19. 19
    The Prisoner says:

    I’m miserable because in recent weeks it’s dawned on me I’m not a man but a number living on a mock up set made to look like Britain.
    Everything was fine till I strayed too far from the establishment line and a fucking great Westminster bubble landed on me.

  20. 20
    Silent Bob's bobcat says:


  21. 21
    Misery Bear says:

  22. 22
    Silent Bob's bobcat says:

    Prick! :-)

  23. 23
    Getmahatmacoat says:

  24. 24
    The Prisoner says:

    The guy is a tit pure and simple an absolute tit whose face looks like the last labour arse that sat on it.

  25. 25
    rick says:

    That’s what UKIP are saying.

  26. 26
    Tony Bliar says:

    There’s nothing wrong with that.

  27. 27
    bergen says:

    Every morning Cameron must thank his lucky stars that Labour elected Ed1 as leader and he then appointed Ed2 as shadow chancellor.

    They’re both far more effective in his favour than anyone in the cabinet.

  28. 28
    ***** Room 101 for Thursday ***** says:

    First candidate: Nick Clegg

  29. 29
    Jwelby says:

    Nobody can be happy when millions can’t afford a deposit on a property. We need a change of government as soon as possible not 2015.

  30. 30
    Fat Northerner says:

    I prefer cool weather because I am fat. When it is hot I start to perspire like a pig and smell. Cool weather allows me to heave my portly mass around without smelling or sweating like a filthy hog.

  31. 31
    The truth, all we get is lies says:

    The media has now shown how they have let their country down by reporting there own personal opinions, instead of reporting what’s going on, if they ever had any respect they have lost it,

  32. 32
    Red Ed says:

    The World Cup is coming. That will cure England of its happiness.

  33. 33
    Diane Flabbot says:

    In hot weather I smell of rice & pee.

  34. 34
    Tim Yeo-Yo says:

    Here’s a thought to ruin everyone’s summer…..

    Dianne Flabbot in a bikini!

    Happy mind bleach!

  35. 35
    LOL says:

  36. 36
    thostids says:

    Is that so they can stuff the boxes where needed?

  37. 37
    thostids says:

    We’ve been having a Bank Holiday since Gorgon threw £375 billions into the pit of fire he called “the Economy”. As it has just been re-lit with “Right to buy” I take it that bits of combustible material still exist to use as kindling.

  38. 38
    PAIE says:

    At least a bank holiday is a benefit to people who work.

  39. 39
  40. 40
    Osama the Nazarene says:

    We are heading for Misery deflation, so we must be in need of some Misery QE.

  41. 41
    Osama the Nazarene says:


  42. 42
    Osama the Nazarene2 says:

    We are heading for Misery deflation, so must be in need of some Misery QE.

  43. 43
    delly belly says:

    Oh yeah?

    You of the Brahmin class have kept the Dalits (untouchables) in servitude for millenia, you nappy wearing hypocrite.

  44. 44
    Anonymous says:

    UKIP thank their lucky stars both Ed and Cameron are party leaders.

    Best recruitment agents a party could ever want….

  45. 45

    Tough, if you can’t afford it you can’t have it, simple really!

  46. 46
    broderick crawford says:

    Clrgg : Look ! Not only am I a true polyglot but now I can kid people I can even work a computer thingy !

    Robinson . I fecking can t . They won t give me one at the Beeb All i ve got is this freaking ten year old Nokia phone which just about receives incomimg calls … and they re being taken over so I won ‘ t even be able to get it repaired when I periodically manage to feck it up .

  47. 47
    broderick crawford says:

    Excuse me I m getting on in years and have to be guided .

    Which of the two are you talking about please ?

    Oh …I see …….both !

  48. 48

    how would deflation work with that?

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Labour Cllr: Cops Shouldn’t Stop Petrol Thieves | HandF Forum
Creeping Cultural Acceptance of Anti-Semitism | Eric Pickles
Time For Greece to Leave Eurozone | Allister Heath

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Boris on British Jihadis. Apparently based on MI5 intel:

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