May 20th, 2014

Misery Index: Summer is Coming

A weekend heatwave, wall to wall sunshine and even a slight drop in unemployment – it’s no wonder we are all so happy. This is one of the most joyous months we have had under this government, with the Retail Prices Index staying at 2.5%, more people in work and a three day weekend awaiting us. There has however been a rise in the Public Sector Net Cash Requirement, meaning we are not quite as happy as our happiness peak in February this year. The clear trend of decline in misery since February 2011 remains…

N.B. stats bods can check Guido’s adding up here.


  1. 1
    Anonymous says:



    • 7
      The vast majority of the population says:



      • 46
        broderick crawford says:

        Clrgg : Look ! Not only am I a true polyglot but now I can kid people I can even work a computer thingy !

        Robinson . I fecking can t . They won t give me one at the Beeb All i ve got is this freaking ten year old Nokia phone which just about receives incomimg calls … and they re being taken over so I won ‘ t even be able to get it repaired when I periodically manage to feck it up .


    • 8
      LKW Logistics, București says:

      It would be better to see both of you under a truck.


    • 9
      Wake up & vote UKIP says:

      I’d like to see both of you on the road, well, playing chicken on the M1 would be nice.

      Liked by 1 person

    • 11
      Metropratts says:

      All in this together ….. if you’re one of us.

      Liked by 1 person

    • 16
      Mornington Crescent says:

      Not quite the hard time that you’ve been giving Farage, is it, Robinson?

      Liked by 1 person

      • 24
        The Prisoner says:

        The guy is a tit pure and simple an absolute tit whose face looks like the last labour arse that sat on it.


        • 47
          broderick crawford says:

          Excuse me I m getting on in years and have to be guided .

          Which of the two are you talking about please ?

          Oh …I see …….both !


    • 20
      Silent Bob's bobcat says:



  2. 2
    Silent Bob's bobcat says:

    We will be less miserable on Friday.


    • 4
      F##k the LibLabCon says:



    • 12
      Vote for Nige says:

      Although the EU vote isn’t officially counted until Sunday, I’m sure we will have a very good idea of how it’s gone before then.


      • 17
        Silent Bob's bobcat says:

        At least by Friday, many of the c*unts in the meeja, including one far too close to home, will have to cease their dogma, not-so-cunningly disguised as news reporting.

        Did I say c*unts? Will just say it again, in case I didn’t: c*unt’s!


        • 31
          The truth, all we get is lies says:

          The media has now shown how they have let their country down by reporting there own personal opinions, instead of reporting what’s going on, if they ever had any respect they have lost it,


      • 36
        thostids says:

        Is that so they can stuff the boxes where needed?


  3. 3
    BBC NEWS says:

    This is all due to the rise in UKIP support.


  4. 5
    Long John Silver' s parrot says:

    Thank God for David Cameron.


  5. 6
    Why doesn't Guido sack the fat one and put Alex in his place? says:

    The Salad Dodger is twenty times the size of Alex.

    Alex has twenty times the brain of the fat one.


  6. 10
    Thursday the 22nd of May says:


  7. 13
    King James 1 says:

    Why is it always assumed that everybody ‘enjoys’ hot weather. And bank holidays are surely an anachronism. As is socialism.


    • 30
      Fat Northerner says:

      I prefer cool weather because I am fat. When it is hot I start to perspire like a pig and smell. Cool weather allows me to heave my portly mass around without smelling or sweating like a filthy hog.


    • 37
      thostids says:

      We’ve been having a Bank Holiday since Gorgon threw £375 billions into the pit of fire he called “the Economy”. As it has just been re-lit with “Right to buy” I take it that bits of combustible material still exist to use as kindling.


    • 38
      PAIE says:

      At least a bank holiday is a benefit to people who work.


  8. 15
    actually says:

    I’m happy and optimistic.


  9. 18
  10. 19
    The Prisoner says:

    I’m miserable because in recent weeks it’s dawned on me I’m not a man but a number living on a mock up set made to look like Britain.
    Everything was fine till I strayed too far from the establishment line and a fucking great Westminster bubble landed on me.


  11. 21
    Misery Bear says:


  12. 23
    Getmahatmacoat says:


  13. 27
    bergen says:

    Every morning Cameron must thank his lucky stars that Labour elected Ed1 as leader and he then appointed Ed2 as shadow chancellor.

    They’re both far more effective in his favour than anyone in the cabinet.


    • 44
      Anonymous says:

      UKIP thank their lucky stars both Ed and Cameron are party leaders.

      Best recruitment agents a party could ever want….


  14. 28
    ***** Room 101 for Thursday ***** says:

    First candidate: Nick Clegg


  15. 29
    Jwelby says:

    Nobody can be happy when millions can’t afford a deposit on a property. We need a change of government as soon as possible not 2015.


    • 45

      Tough, if you can’t afford it you can’t have it, simple really!


  16. 32
    Red Ed says:

    The World Cup is coming. That will cure England of its happiness.


  17. 34
    Tim Yeo-Yo says:

    Here’s a thought to ruin everyone’s summer…..

    Dianne Flabbot in a bikini!

    Happy mind bleach!


  18. 35
    LOL says:


  19. 40
    Osama the Nazarene says:

    We are heading for Misery deflation, so we must be in need of some Misery QE.


  20. 41
    Osama the Nazarene says:



  21. 42
    Osama the Nazarene2 says:

    We are heading for Misery deflation, so must be in need of some Misery QE.


  22. 48

    how would deflation work with that?


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