May 13th, 2014

Handy-Cock in the Priory for Last 3 Months


121 Comments

  1. 1
    British Citizen says:

    Where is my right of recall?

  2. 2
    Mike Cancock CBE MP says:

    It’s all a Tory plot! I’m the victim here, leave me alone! Please don’t let that nasty Gerald Vernon-Crackpot nick my seat at Westminster!

  3. 3
    HR Giger RIP says:

  4. 4
    Ironically, it's Handy who calls the cops here says:

  5. 5
    jdseanjd says:

    How much different is this specimen from the rest of the inmates of the Punch & Judy Asylum, formerly known as the ‘Mother of Parliaments’

    Last I looked, 559 of the loons voted for lobbing cruise missiles into Libya.

    Not very many got their hats on straight.

  6. 6
    Penfold says:

    Handy-Cock pulling the old Ernest Saunders number.

    How does he get away with it, justice is too soft on these people, some prole from a sink estate wouldn’t have been given the space and chances that Handy-Cock has had.

  7. 7
    dai theraping says:

    at least he’s not in a convent

  8. 8
    Darth Weevil the Eternally Crazed says:

    “…can the disgraced LibDem really serve as a MP and councillor from the loony bin?”

    Hasn’t stopped the current leaders of the LibLabCon Party…nor most of the cabinet & shadow cabinet for that matter.

  9. 9
    UAF are fascist scum says:

  10. 10
    UAF are fascist scum says:

    What was the woman on the floor saying something about mountains?

  11. 11
    Blue Peter Goldfish says:

    He wants no drink or money.

  12. 12
    Tel E. Caster says:

    Never stopped Brown either.

  13. 13
    Handycunt's a lying cunt says:

    As I said earlier today, he’s doing a Margaret Moran. That c-unt started the trend of crooked politicians trying to get off the hook by claiming to be depressed. If he’s so depressed that he’s in a hospital, then he needs to stand down immediately.

  14. 14
    jgm2 says:

    He’s going for the Margaret Moran defence. You can’t prosecute me, I’m ‘sick’ and I have a piece of paper to prove it.

  15. 15
    Giraffe says:

    Giragge says:
    I am in a state of grace. but watch me killing the lion.
    hoof

  16. 16
    Mornington Crescent says:

    …and I wonder who’s paying The Priory’s bill…?

  17. 17
    jgm2 says:

    It has for the past four years. We never see the c*unt. Mercifully.

  18. 18
    Schnell!! Raus!! says:

    Blimey! This site carrying an advert for Martin Schulz himself!

    I’m guessing the ad targeting software has some way to go in correctly selecting a ‘likely’ demographic…

    http://www.martin-schulz.eu/

    (Warning NSFW: link contains extremely large photograph of Martin Schulz)

  19. 19
    Executive Summary says:

    As good a reason to vote UKIP as any I have ever seen …

  20. 20
    Owen Jones says:

    Thank you my friend for distinguishing shit from clay for the educated.

  21. 21
    DerrIn Brown full time w@nker for C4. says:

    He should pretend he is gay and deny his sexual assaults. That is what I do! Never tell the truth! My life is a SHAM!

  22. 22
    Blue Peter Goldfish says:

    The Alzheimer dementia defense is the best one, very popular with politicians as in “I don’t recollect saying that or doing that”, well he wouldn’t would he?, case dismissed.

  23. 23
    Nature follows Art says:

  24. 24
    Rant time says:

  25. 25
    nell says:

    hmmm Is this his margaretmoran moment as he tries to wriggle out of facing a court? And at the same time trying to hang on to a place on the gravy train of local and national politics?!

  26. 26
    Just asking... says:

    The creepy slimy bastard, is he’s still being paid in full while in the nut house and how can one be an MP and a councillor at the same time?

  27. 27
    Anonymous says:

    Appreciate that this is t’internet, but perhaps GF could use more choice words than “loony bin”.

  28. 28
    Blue Peter Goldfish says:

  29. 29
    (optional) says:

    Regardless of what he has done, depression is a bloody awful illness and we should have some compassion and hope he recovers.

  30. 30
    F##k the LibLabCon says:

    Can see the blood of thousands dripping from his warmongering hands or do I need to go to specsavers?

  31. 31
    (I've been renamed) DA-Notice says:

    Doing a Dewani; transparent.

  32. 32
    Bill Quango MP says:

    M’lud, my client is suffering severe depression on account of all the times he watched the BBC’s Rolf Harris show and the countless times that he wrote to Mr Saville on the Jim’ll Fix It show, care of BBc TV, Wood lane London W128QT.

    The trauma suffered by my client, Mr Hand-on-Cock, is so extreme that he will be unable to attend any hearings until after his retirement and MP’s pension is secured, some time in 2020.

    Further my client would like it to be known that he is suing the Labour party..The Tory party..The BBc and a certain gutter peddling filth blogger who have all defamed his good name.

    William Quango QC
    Carter-Halfpence-Miscreant De Raygun.

  33. 33
    Vince Cable says:

    I don’t remember Mike Hancock

  34. 34
    Blue Peter Goldfish says:

    The Hhune nearly got away with it.

  35. 35
    JH-230912384590231 says:

    He deserves to be depressed for what a disgusting crooked little shitbag loots back at him in the mirror.

    Fuck this faux-concern handwringing bullshit. That era is over.

  36. 36
    Nigel Farage doppelganger says:

    not a bar of soap between the lot of them. Fcuking left wing scum should go out get a job have a wash and pay some taxes, instead of living off our tax payers money.

  37. 37
    Phuquit says:

    What an amazing coincidence that Hancock’s “illness” becomes apoarent when he’s being done for a filthy pervert’s crime.

  38. 38
    táxpáyér says:

    Turnabout needs to be deployed.

    Also infiltration.

  39. 39
    Lizzie says:

    Probably doing less damage now than usual …

  40. 40
    Wah wah pedal says:

    I’d forgotten how much I despised this odious c*nt and his way of talking a lot but not actually saying anything.
    C*nt.

  41. 41
    Lard Prezza says:

    Stranger things ‘av ‘appened.
    I developed a slimmin’ disease just before my book came out.

  42. 42
    Blue Peter Goldfish says:

    Handcocks Half Hour, 1950’s on the light program.

  43. 43
    F##k the LibLabCon says:

    Indeed, the ‘gay card’ is rapidly becoming the top trump card to play for the political elite troughers in our enriched and vibrant multisexual multigendered multiethnic multicultural society.

  44. 44
    Prime Minister David Cameron says:

    Communities come before fracking,and don’t you forget it !

  45. 45
    Nigel Farage doppelganger says:

  46. 46
    Dodbbedo says:

    I bet he listened to Stuart Hall and DLT on 5 live.

  47. 47
    Nigel Farage doppelganger says:

    may be he’s giving blood!

  48. 48
    Hugh Manatee says:

    Does this mean that Handcock will be taking the whip of the Monster Raving Loony Party?

  49. 49
    Dodbbedo says:

    She said she could swallow a pint !

    A pint! That’s very nearly a baby arm’s full.

  50. 50
    I am ketamine. says:

    know what i mean.
    we are all energy transmitters. the depressive soaks excessive energy. it is a brave man who does this. but hey.

  51. 51
    Eye Suffered says:

    Depression really is a serious illness, and we hope he recovers quickly so that he may face up to any legal action, like that De Waney man has eventually.
    That case shows there is no rush to allow anyone, say like MoRan, have time to overcome their difficulties so that they can face any challenges.

  52. 52
    I am ketamine. says:

    tate mdern gets trasheed. trashed. graffiti n some work, blahblah.
    what about the Tate of old.
    old were masters but of what? and there relevance being.

  53. 53
    Mornington Crescent says:

    Why not? He’s been serving as an MP from young girls’ knickers for the last ten years.

  54. 54
    Bugs Bunny says:

    Wotta maroon! An ignoranimous! All you gotta do, Handy-Doc, is start actin’ like this when they haul your ass into court– you’ll have it made! Worked for Mad Mags Moran, didn’t it?

  55. 55
    C O (Ξ7s1) says:

    If he wasn’t running a campaign I would believe him on the depression front.

    This smells of a J’ack S’traw ploy – looking for support through sympathy.

  56. 56
    (optional) says:

    It’s not faux concern. Depression is horrid and fatal for some.
    I hope he recovers, I hope he stands trial.
    The two are not mutaully exclusive.

  57. 57
    Voice of Reason says:

    Can we please avoid using terms like “loony bin”? I’m by no means a cheerleader for political correctness, but that term is deeply insulting to the many legitimately mentally ill people out there, implies that they are worthy only of being discarded from society and reinforces unnecessary prejudice.

    As for Hancock, he should seek the Chiltern Hundreds immediately.

  58. 58
    Bill Quango MP says:

    Miliband.E Oneashion V1.3 has suffered an unexpected reverse and has shut down.
    Please remove all ONENASHION software from your devices as this program is toxic.

    Program Cost0leeVin Crs is currently working correctly but may be need to be withdrawn for updates depending on ongoing polling data.

    If this situation persists Labour HQ may reissue old backup disks of Miliband.D to be used in place of Miliband.E

    Dan Hodges.
    Head of IT

  59. 59
    JJ says:

    Frack me handy cock in the nut house! Better keep an close eye on the other female patients.

  60. 60
    The British media are cunts says:

    Westminster is full of loons how can you tell the difference? Gordon McMental and bonkers Bliar are both serious mentals.

  61. 61
    Pookie Snackumberger says:

    So, what was it he said we get after putting in billions? Fluffy lovelyness.

  62. 62
    entirelyanonymous says:

    similar questions could be asked of Maria Miller *nudge* *nudge*

  63. 63
  64. 64
    C O (Ξ7s1) says:

    Chilcot ?

  65. 65
    Cinna says:

    Depression is a serious illness. However, it is often used as cover-up for other things or sometimes or nothing at all. Hopefully whichever form he is suffering from he will soon recover and someone will have b*alls to call him to account in the dock.

  66. 66
    Owen Jones,Socialist turned Capitalist says:

    I’m glad we can soon move on from this argument, but no one is ever going to convince me that it wasn’t a monumental cock up to vote Tory in 2010.

  67. 67
    C O (Ξ7s1) says:

    I bet he may end up sharing a cell with Cl!fford.

  68. 68
    Cinna says:

    Why? Loony bin not politically correct enough for you?

  69. 69
    Handycock says:

    This is my last chance to avoid the court. If this fails I’m off to the Ecuadorian embassy.
    I’m not well but here on the Margaret Moran ward we are looked after in style..If my condition
    worsens I will be transferred to the Ernest Saunders suite.

  70. 70
    C O (Ξ7s1) says:

    Has H’arriet H’arman anything to say on the matter of her old P I E buddy Charles Napier ?

  71. 71
    C O (Ξ7s1) says:

    Didn’t the bloke on Animal Hospital spend time there ?

    Funny farm is perhaps more appropriate.

  72. 72
    Spam Watch says:

    So I received an email from Boris Johnson this afternoon with subject: Important. exhorting me to vote Con in next week’s elections.
    What has the Mayor of London have to do with these elections and why is he emailing someone who lives over 200 miles from London asking him to vote for his Party?
    Needless to say I won’t be.

  73. 73
    Grant Shapps says:

    Bacon loving alcoholics rejoice, you’re prayers have been answered:

    http://qz.com/208467

  74. 74
    jgm2 says:

    The problem with ‘depression’ is that like ‘bad back’ it is very easy to fake and is a favourite of those (say) police officers who would rather retire ‘on medical grounds’ than face a disciplinary charge and lose their pension for gross misconduct.

    I think that like Moran, Handycock is probably conflating sheer terror at the thought of being convicted with ‘depression’.

  75. 75
    Axe The Telly Tax & Religion & Kill All Eco-loons says:

    Footage just out of the Priory :-)

  76. 76
    no optional extras you pay for everthing says:

    We don’t have communities any more , Liebour destroyed them all, it’s all look after yourself nobody else will, everybody has gone over to if it’s good enough for politicians to do, it’s good enough for us, plod have given up and only go for the motorist, they seem to have lost being part of the public, to being part of the government.

  77. 77
    rick says:

    Well said.

  78. 78
  79. 79
    Anonymous says:

    Not so much that as respect for people with genuine mental Heath issues as diagnosed.
    as opposed to those playing the nutter card suddenly when faced with having to take responsibility for their actions. See that Moran woman as example.

    Hope clarifies.

  80. 80
    Julian Gibb says:

    A good reason to vote YES in September. You can keep him, Brown and Darling though.

  81. 81
    (optional) says:

    We really have no idea what his mental state is. 3 months of pretence would be quite an achievement. I think he deserves the benefit of the doubt, and the best treatment he can find and our good wishes for a speedy recovery. As I said before, this doesn’t preclude him from facing whatever music awaits him. Better to stand trial when mentally able to do so. Then at least you can face up to the consequences of your actions.

    “Depression is a serious illness. However, it is often used as cover-up for other things or sometimes or nothing at all”

    The first of your sentances is correct the second is begging for you to produce the necessary evidence. The aetiology of depression is obviously multifactorial but even when it is the consequence of poor choices and bad behaviour it is still a serious and awful illness.

    I suggest we leave the bloke alone until he is better.

  82. 82
    (optional) says:

    “The problem with ‘depression’ is that like ‘bad back’ it is very easy to fake”

    Not for 3 months it isn’t.

  83. 83
  84. 84
    Cinna says:

    If he has been diagnosed with clinical depression then the sooner he is cured and in the dock the better.

    However, I tend to the view that his “depression” is brought on by the fact that he realises the game is up. As for producing evidence, I don’t need to. He’s playing the Moran card as far as I’m concerned. A bit like having a “bad back”. My wife suffers from a clinically diagnosed problem for which there is no treatment and no chance of recovery. I therefore despise the “bad back” malingerers. In the same way we have all the luvvies in the Priory suffering “exhaustion, depression, etc, etc”, when in actual fact they are drunks and junkies. And no, I have no sympathy for them.

  85. 85

    How is he paying for it? The Priory costs near a grand a day.

  86. 86
    (optional) says:

    “In the same way we have all the luvvies in the Priory suffering “exhaustion, depression, etc, etc”, when in actual fact they are drunks and junkies. And no, I have no sympathy for them. ”

    I suspect we won’t ever agree on this.

  87. 87
    FrattonFrog says:

    Private health insurance?

    Do MPs get BUPA deals?

  88. 88
    Irritable Sod says:

    Funny that.

    He looked fine when I saw him out and about on Saturday in a very large emporium near Southampton, scoffing an afternoon tea for 2.

    Wearing a very fetching blue jumper that made him stand out like a belisha beacon. Not quite something that would allow him to blend into the background.

    Have a photo of him too.

  89. 89
    jack Ketch says:

    He is a Lib-Dem. Of course he is barking mad.

  90. 90
    Margaret Moran says:

    You are playing a blinder Handy, glad you took my advice.

  91. 91
    Jack Ketch says:

    I will believe that he is depressed if he does the decent thing and tops himself.

  92. 92
    Prat watch says:

    Of course he can If Broon can do it so can he

  93. 93
    Glyn H says:

    This is the Margaret Moran and Ernest Saunders fake defence, and that of hundreds of bent coppers. He should stand trial for his vile abuse of a constituent, and if guilty stripped of all public office AND BENEFITS after which he will be free to lick his wounds in private. Horrible man, and get a shave and a haircut before you present yourself to Court!

  94. 94
    inside out says:

    A cynic would say he only went into rehab, after a judge refused to throw out the case of sexual harassment against him.But of course that would never be the actions of an Honourable Liberal MP.

  95. 95
    Tax payer funded asroturfing EU troll says:

    I’m depressed that the cun t is not in jail. Cun t.

  96. 96
    Anonymous says:

    The biggest clue that it’s Saunders disease is that he’s in the Priory.

    If he was really mentally ill he would be in a mental hospital, not the expensive “rehab” facility for celebs who have done too much Peruvian Marching Powder.

    It might be hard to fake it for three months if he was in hospital, as it is he can stay as long as someone is paying the bills.

  97. 97
    Jim Royal says:

    ‘Depression’ my arse !

  98. 98
    Old Blue Eyes says:

    So how has he been representing his constituents at Parliament and in the Portsmouth Council. If he had any moral rectitude he would resign both positions. Anyway he won’t be sucking on the public teat much longer. Surely the voters of Portsmouth will see to that.

  99. 99
    NE Frontiersman says:

    Assuming we believe what’s being claimed.

  100. 100
    Postal Votes are Labour Loo Paper says:

    Compassion for a shit like him? I hope you are not serious.

  101. 101
    Handy's Boys says:

    We are paying Handy’s priory bill. Boaz.

  102. 102
    Handycock (Teen Fondler) says:

    Not only a Councillor but one with Executive responsibility for planning, which I have held for decades. Boaz.

  103. 103
    broderick crawford says:

    Yes depression is a serious debilitating and MENTALLY INCAPACITATING illness.

    All the more reason then for him NOT to embark on a new coucillor mandate as he will do neither himself nor his electorate proud .

    By the token he claims he is not fit to stsnd trial he is ergo unfit to embark on public office .

    Either that or he s doing a Margaret Moran in which the trial should start tomorrow !!

  104. 104
    Phuquit says:

    Perhaps you care to offer some of your compassion for the victim of Hancock’s sexually perverse activities? I’m sure that we’d all be grateful if you did.

  105. 105
    Limp Dumb says:

    You would be fecking depressed too if you were a LibDem; we will kicked out of the EU and that means no fallback when we get kicked out of the HOC. What are we eu-loving, sandle-wearing, climate-change-believing, bumsex-promoting, woman-using, two-faced twats supposed to do?

  106. 106
    Anonymous says:

    If they were part of the government that would be one thing, but they seem to be able to decide for themselves what their priorities should be. (Mainly the ludicrous War on Drugs).

    Apparently it’s a police state if they are controlled by the politicians, but not if they are controlled by themselves and answerable to nobody.

  107. 107
    Gerald Von Jackboots says:

    So the twat shows his true colours. A scummer through and through. Isnt St James in Pompey good enough?

    This is a fu cking great charade so he can not be held to account.

  108. 108
    Hampshire Constabulary Accounts Department says:

    Yes we can confirm we are paying the invoices to ensure Mr Hancock does not go to court, as we would not want a conflict between what really happened and what our police and council officers did to protect Mr Hancock. Basically failing to discharge our legal duties to ensure he could carry on abusing the public-albeit now in the process of abusing the courts.

  109. 109
    Portsmouth City Council says:

    Cllr Michael Hancock CBE MP is a vulnerable adult and will accordingly be afforded the statutory protection which we as a council and its councillors have a legal duty to uphold. We feel duty bound to notify you, if anyone abuses their position to try and take advantage, harrass, sexually or psychologically abuse Cllr Hancock, we with Hampshire Constabulary will use the full weight of the law to support him, whilst in our care.

  110. 110
    Dr Foster says:

    Having visited a genuinely ill, wealthy but non-celeb friend at the Priory on multiple occasions, and speaking as a health care professional, I can vouch for the fact that the staff there are not of the highest caliber. Partly for that reason, and partly because it is a pay-as-you-go institution, it is far eaier to be a malingerer there than at any other menal health establishment.

    Well played, Handy!

  111. 111
    Guidoisesxplosive says:

    Guido is explosive, tonight…You go big boy!

  112. 112
    Guidoisesxplosive says:

    Guido, you’ve really nailed it, tonight. Some bint turned against UKIP and apparently that is explosive news…Great journalism, as ever. I keep coming back to find out how good you are.

  113. 113
    Guidoisesxplosive says:

    No comments are allowed on the pages where Guido, fearlessly, reveals the silly girl who is supposed to be doing such damage to UKIP. Guido doesn’t want anyone to comment on his Murdoch pieces. Silly, fat boy, that he is.

  114. 114
    Francis Urquhart says:

    It’s not a ‘loony bin’, are you channelling Gene Hunt or something? Whatever Mr Hancocks foibles, people with depression are not loonies. You disappoint me.

  115. 115
    Anonymous says:

    Is no one able to recognise a NOLS sleeper ?

  116. 116
    Con Briscoe says:

    Don’t tell anyone but he is waiting till I get out to work on faking a proper defence

  117. 117
    Jesus says:

    It’s called a loony bin because it’s a bin for throwing loonies in.

  118. 118
    English accountant says:

    Lunatics have taken over the asylum

  119. 119
    PorsmouthIsJustATypo says:

    Why doesn’t Nick Clegg give a shit about Gerald Vernon-Jackson’s unstinting support for Hancock? Surely this debacle is bringing the Party into disrepute.

  120. 120
    SimonHughes'sConscience says:

    Clegg did a deal with Hancock last June. He doesn’t want that publicising.

  121. 121
    Handycock whipping it out says:

    How dare you! Boaz.

    http://www.portsmouth.co.uk/news/local/portsmouth


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