May 12th, 2014

Jake the Peg With No Extra Leg

Can you tell what it is yet?


131 Comments

  1. 1
    GaryTT says:

    Too many topics – not allowing comments to develop

    Like

    • 7
      Miss Fawkes age 6 says:

      No wonder G_d’s Chosen Khazars were Cock Worshippers. Anyone over 3″ was a freak.

      Like

      • 21
        Elton John says:

        Bomb christian hideously White anti gay Russia, make the world safe for Gary Barlow, Dave, myself and all the other multi muliti millionaire tax-dodging shirtlifters

        Like

        • 59
          pimply nerd says:

          Did you know that many of the people assumed to be Polish are Russian illegal immigrants?

          Found many living above corner shops during fire inspections. When you show a Polish translation they cant read it. Our enterprising UK Asian businessmen rent to anyone. Cash no questions asked.

          Why are the BBC calling illegal immigrants “migrant workers”?

          Like

          • nell says:

            Really? But I thought putins russia was so wonderful no-one would want to escape it and come to a democratic country like this!!

            Like

          • Vladamir Putain says:

            You are taking the piss now.

            Like

          • Clipboard Only Useful As A Fly Swat says:

            Yes exactly, and they know how to run rings around the old census enumerators!

            Like

        • 71
          The Growler says:

          If that is the case what is MI2½ and T. May doing about it, they could be spies, someone should be held to account, none of that it’s him or her much further down the line.

          Like

      • 111
        Tom Catesby. says:

        Did he get his from the same place Max did?

        Like

    • 12
      y hid. wahid. says:

      my left knee felt a twinge. so winge ..is down. so is “k”. hobble hobble. vis the telescope it can be developed the idea that mother is on the way out. so calcium water in loook there is a bird in the sky out.
      …left knee down and right legup.
      .
      time to foster and go to lego land?
      if the world is yoir oyster then foster the world or forrestor the oiu.
      who will rubber stamp this..if not just stamp on it.

      Like

    • 14
      Penicillin Pete says:

      British justice seems to be following British journalism into the gutter.

      I blame the infection of cultural Marxism.

      Like

    • 24
      Min Clifford says:

      On the contrary, there seems to be a patter developing!

      Like

      • 55
        stop sucking your saliva says:

        fuck u says. fuck u. apt by name. what is nataraj?
        now then. this cinema celebrates shiva. but did he know about the shilva method. for the dey humper…the opus states that hariOM with a sigh is really “hurry home”.

        Like

    • 63
      civil partnership. says:

      hughes copy says corpus christi college or jesus christ. all royalty ape.
      o lala where art thou. is it brophy time?
      abc or nbc the message is the same.
      share sali.G.
      the sailing boat called OP.
      barfi and crumbs. how to get rid of okra for he is glueon.
      oh crumbs, better talk to geroge, the giraffe called rough george.

      Like

    • 110
      ancientpopeye says:

      Ah, the “small” man syndrome?

      Like

  2. 2
    A Button Mushroom says:

    Hahahahahaha

    Like

    • 20
      Ellie-Mae (9) says:

      Is there a doctor on a paid retainer for this sort of claim?

      and no I don’t…

      Like

  3. 3
    Iain Duncan Smith says:

    I think Gary Barlow should be allowed to keep his OBE, but only if he signs on every day at a Job Centre like other benefit cheats.

    Like

    • 16
      Exile on Main Street says:

      Gary Barlow’s cash belongs to Gary Barlow.

      Like

    • 26
      David Cameron says:

      I’ve just told Gary Barlow that he will be allowed to keep his OBE only if he starts taking it up the arse and publicly announces his gayness.

      Like

      • 68
        one rule for them and one rule for us says:

        Millions of Brits do good works and raise money for charity.
        But they still have to pay taxes.

        Like

        • 117
          Anonymous says:

          And take it up the arse from HMRC. Tax used to be paid per annum. Now it’s per anus. Or through the nose……..

          Liked by 1 person

  4. 4
    Anonymous says:

    I’m surprised the victim would admit to having such a small penis. Are we sure it’s not Max Clifford?

    Liked by 1 person

  5. 5
    Anonymong says:

    One little boy had one little toy…..

    Like

  6. 6
    Dave says:

    Can you tell what it is yet!!

    Like

  7. 8
    Maria Miller says:

    Roy Hodgson to name England team…

    “Bunch of useless wankers” it is again then.

    Like

  8. 9
    통일교회 says:

    Lord Hanningfield faces suspension from Lords over claims for allowances
    Lords privileges and conduct committee says Tory peer accused of ‘clocking in’ to parliament should face maximum sanction

    Like

    • 32
      P l e b says:

      People with feudal titles appointed for services to a crooked Establishment. Their whole Kingdom is a kleptocracy, it doesn’t just come down to this one flabby thief, or even the party of robbers that he hails from

      Liked by 1 person

    • 56
      번호 10, 과다 노출의 숭배의 제자의 돌출 된 젖꼭지 says:

      I there are votes in it for me then I’m all for it.

      Like

    • 64
      Wonderin about time says:

      Would the maximum sanction be, hung, drawn, quartered or just a slapped wrist and sent to the naughty corner, I prefer the hung, drawn and quartered sanction for him, after a jury trial, not from “jury” made up from a gang of his mates up to the same tricks

      Like

      • 118
        broderick crawford says:

        Hung for about ten days I think ole boy .

        Then the meat develops a certain fetid gamey-ness.

        Much more appetizing .

        Like

      • 129
        thostids says:

        Yea, but after the hanging drawing and quartering ( not really chopped into quarters )but he has his intestines drawn out and burnt and/or chopped into bits whilst the owner of them is sentient and still active if only aware that there are more bits of him hurt like hell than there are that don’t. But the really good bit is that the remains of this-fenestrated bowel owner is that his bits are clamped in chains and hung on the City walls “pour encourager les autres!”.

        Like

  9. 10
    Blue Peter Goldfish says:

    Tie me Wallaby down sport!

    Like

  10. 11
    Handycock says:

    I’m going to show the judge mine.

    Like

  11. 17
    C O (Ξ7s1) says:

    An important detail for the prosecution’s case, but nothing more for the time being.

    Totally disconnected – but when these relative size claims are made, just what are those who are making the allegations comparing to ?

    Unless they have all stated dimensions and descriptions which broadly agree (likely the case) then statements such as those above really work against the character of the complainants as it suggests they have conducted research on the matter one way or another. This puts their character in the dock also.

    This is not to defend or detract from proceedings, but the motivation of the way the prosecution statements are being made – which are now a matter of public record – perhaps indicates that they wish irrespective of later judgement to permanently damage reputation.

    Perhaps it would be better for the CPS to be a little more clinical on matters such as this initially, rather than repeating the presumably unqualified assessments of those making the allegations from the outset.

    Like

    • 22
      Variable reamer says:

      Isn’t it meant to be proof that they have seen the honourable member?

      But size is a variable thing from bathing in the cold North sea to an early morning rise in a warm bed. So variable in length can the todger be that the witness’ assessment is worthless.

      Liked by 1 person

      • 25
        Honer Backpassage says:

        Never mind the quality,

        Like

      • 29
        Blue Peter Goldfish says:

        Trial by Todger.

        Like

      • 47
        C O (Ξ7s1) says:

        It is only really the phrasing and presentation of the prosecution on this detail I am objecting to.

        It works in nobodies favour when analysed.

        You and I can claim to have seen person X’s genitalia when abused in the past, and we may independently state that they were ‘small’.

        However – unless you and I can provide further detail that could put our claims beyond reasonable doubt with a jury, then that evidence is worthless. This should explain why the CPS are pursuing with prosecution.

        I am just stating that it would be better for both sides here if on the initial presentation instead of playing to the tabloid audience, the prosecutors just stated that victims agreed on specific details, and list the those.

        The relative size – eg. small – can really only be determined if corroborated by an expert on the matter, such as a doctor or a sex worker, or a promiscuous person of poor moral character. The victims are all of presumed good character and non-promiscuous, so that would require medical confirmation.

        In a case where some of the ‘victims’ were allegedly young at the time, how would they be able to make such relative determination ? Just an example of how this can be used by the defence later.

        Prosecutors have a job to do, but this approach, as with Cl!fford, does not really do the legal process many favours, nor does it help ensure justice prevails.

        The point at which character and reputation can be destroyed should be upon successful conviction, and before that the system should take steps to ensure that reputation and character of all are protected as far as possible.

        The F’reddy S’tarr case / climb down and N’igel E’vans cases are very relevant to this point. That should be the case for all: If it isn’t we are not seeing execution justice, but just shoddy character assassination / modern witch burning, perhaps with a dark political overtone.

        Liked by 1 person

        • 65
          ahmonika says:

          OK. You can tell me.

          Like

        • 67
          Ockham's Razor says:

          …a promiscuous person of poor moral character – Oooh! Can I apply please? ;-)

          Sorry, I could not resist that but back to the seriousness of the point.

          You are quite correct. This is sheer sensationalism by our prosecution and court system. These meaningless assertions and the similarities between them are disquieting. The pendulum of justice has swung from one extreme to the other on the issue of defendants vs. victim’s rights.

          One has little faith that this current batch of cases will result in miscarriages of justice. Moreover, this will occur in both ways.

          In such way; and just as in the political system, the police system, the banking system and so many other areas of civic life; have we seen a terrible corruption of jurisprudence in the last decade or so.

          Like

          • C O (Ξ7s1) says:

            Extreme pre-occupation by the state with the rights of victims is a hallmark of fasc!sm.

            There are perhaps parallels with post revolutionary F’rance and the trials which arose as a result of ‘denouncements’ as well.

            The ugly elephant in the room here is that the system itself seems to be grandstanding at the expense of both complainants and defendants.

            The question not being asked is – Why is that ? It seems more than to just advance the career ambitions of state funded prosecutors, who act on behalf of an institution that has previously conspired to cover-up such offences. (C Smith…)

            Cue someone to attack the press reporting irresponsibly, which is emphatically not the case here, seeing as the statements made are public and quoted accurately.

            Like

          • Ockham's Razor says:

            Some interesting points here.

            The point about fascism is one I have made here and elsewhere in the past, particularly with relation to the previous three administrations. “Don’t be silly”, people would say, “fascism is from the right, not the left.” Yet the suppression of any opposition or criticism was something we experienced from Labour. The control of industry via vast increases in regulation and, yes, racism of an inverted type and just as insidious. All these core to fascism!

            The grandstanding point is very apt. The problem is to know whether it is cause or effect because it is all revolving so quickly that one spurs the other on rather like a tornado.

            One thing you may be sure of is a deafening silence resulting from the sort of questions you pose. The grandstanding is making all the running and the clatter reminds me of so many wooden football rattles of old. Much noise and no meaning. At least the rattles were banned…

            I agree with you that it goes much further than individuals’ careers, though we should not dismiss this aspect.

            Blaming the press will be shooting the messenger – yet again.
            Some interesting points here.

            The point about fascism is one I have made here and elsewhere in the past, particularly with relation to the previous three administrations. “Don’t be silly”, people would say, “fascism is from the right, not the left.” The suppression of any opposition or criticism was something we experienced from Labour. The control of industry via vast increases in regulation and, yes, racism of an inverted type and just as insidious.

            Like

        • 86
          jgm2 says:

          Unless they were really, really, remarkably tiny of course. Which may be the case. Perhaps men with incredibly small cocks need to ‘prove’ how masculine they are by shagging lots of women and how better to do that than targeting young girls who haven’t the self-confidence or emotional maturity to say ‘fuck off’.

          But I suspect that it’s just lawyers having a bit of ‘fun’. Same as the hacking trial where we learned that Rebbekah Wade’s husband had an extensive collection of porn. What the Fuck does that have to do with phone hacking? Or that Coulson was fucking her. What’s that got to do with anything?

          Just c*unts of lawyers being c*unts.

          Like

          • Ockham's Razor says:

            I suggest it goes further than a bit of fun. The money which is at stake here begins to resemble the renewable energy industry. A lawyer can have one successful case and be made for life as a result. CO does have a good point here (said without levity.)

            In earlier days many men would boast about being larger than they really were (as if that actually mattered). So it has all been stood on its head, as in other walks of life.

            Incredibly good looks gets some men lots of women (Sometimes they get bored with it and go queer – I have been told this). Failing that, a lot of money will do just the same. Next on the list is power, an undoubted aphrodisiac. For the rest of us we just have to rely on short-sightedness!

            Like

          • Ockham's Razor says:

            I suggest it goes further than a bit of fun. The money which is at stake here begins to resemble the renewable energy industry. A lawyer can have one successful case and be made for life as a result. CO does have a good point here (said without levity.)

            In earlier days many men would boast about being larger than they really were (as if that actually mattered). So it has all been stood on its head, as in other walks of life.

            Incredibly good looks gets some men lots of women (Sometimes they get bored with it and go que’er – I have been told this). Failing that, a lot of money will do just the same. Next on the list is power, an undoubted aphrodisiac. For the rest of us, we just have to rely on short-sightedness!

            Like

          • PEN15 says:

            WILL it stand up in court?

            Liked by 1 person

    • 113
      Tom Catesby. says:

      Had some of those making these allegations had opportunity to’compare and contrast’?

      Like

    • 131
      Dumpty says:

      “Totally disconnected – but when these relative size claims are made, just what are those who are making the allegations comparing to ? Unless they have all stated dimensions and descriptions which broadly agree (likely the case) then statements such as those above really work against the character of the complainants as it suggests they have conducted research on the matter one way or another. This puts their character in the dock also.”

      Does it? Surely the only “research” they need to have done is seen pictures/paintings/sculptures of naked men or had sex education at school. If you’ve only ever seen oranges in still life paintings, then see one for the first time that’s the size of a tomato, would it imply that you’d seen real oranges if you called it small?

      Like

  12. 18
    Gary Barlow says:

    Take that.

    Like

    • 31
      The British PAYE Public says:

      Tax that

      Liked by 1 person

      • 100
        Rob Roy says:

        In an independent Scotland wealthy English people will be more than welcome to enjoy our “light brush” taxation system.

        All they will have to do is deposit one million pounds in the Bank of Scotland and purchase real estate to a value of £500K and promise not to sell for five years.

        This is what true cross border competition will mean.

        Liked by 1 person

        • 107
          dunlaggin says:

          As the Bank of Scotlands HQ will probably be in London by then, that shouldn’t be too much of a problem. Your real estate prices should have tanked by then as well. Might get a castle for the weekends.

          Liked by 1 person

  13. 19
    David Cameron says:

    Just because I criticised Jimmy Carr for tax avoidance doesn’t mean that I should criticise Gary Barlow.
    It’s just the way my mind works…

    Like

    • 29
      Gong watch says:

      But Dave hs criticised the tax avoidance, it’s the OBE he was commenting on. Not that the facts would get in the way of a lefty.

      Like

  14. 23
    That must be why so many people didn't trust Gordon Brown - ba-dum, tish! says:

    Like

  15. 33
    Archie says:

    Rolf Harris, the Down-Under Man.

    Liked by 1 person

  16. 34
    Rolfhypnol says:

    Is it me, or as each day goes by is it getting harder to tell the difference between the queen’s honours list and the sex offenders register?

    Liked by 1 person

  17. 35
    ? says:

    Where have Rolf Harris’s child-porn charges disappeared to?

    Like

  18. 37
    Roger Helmer says:

    Bloody Polish: coming over here and teaching us proper English. Vote Ukip, and stop this outrage.

    Like

  19. 43
    ahmonika says:

    No doubt the defence will borrow the ruler the doctor used to measure Max’s.

    Like

    • 95
      Norma Stitz says:

      There are so many todger-related cases in the works that the N0.1 Court at the Bailey now has a ruler on a bit of string tied to the dock, for the convenience of Counsel.

      Liked by 1 person

  20. 44
    ahmonika says:

    Looking for big pricks?
    Try HoC

    Liked by 1 person

  21. 45
    RiffClichard says:

    kevin annett has some excellent information on related matter to this regarding one or two more very famous people. do a quick google or youtube search for kevin annett , i believe he has started legal proceedings against them already so if you want to be the 1st to know who they are then hurry up!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

    Like

    • 108
      Damp Squib says:

      I did want to be first to know so I searched as you suggested.

      Unfortunately there were pages and pages of results… I got nowhere fast and gave up none the wiser.

      Thanks anyway.

      Like

  22. 46
    Master of The Hounds,the twerp known as Nigel Farage says:

    Last night Ukip leader Nigel Farage, who is fiercely opposed to the fox-hunting ban, confirmed he had already begun negotiations with several “senior organisers” of Vote- OK about harnessing the group’s support for its candidates at the general election.

    Like

  23. 49
    DYKEVISIONS says:

    On the other hand Chuck up Umunna time piece is very very large!

    Like

  24. 51
    Rolf says:

    Mrs Harris calls it my didgeridon’t.

    Like

  25. 52
    Max Clifford says:

    I was served button mushrooms for dinner last night. The lags thought it was hilarious.

    Like

  26. 53
    Abu Qatada says:

    Can’t beat a bacon sarnie for lunch.

    Like

  27. 54
    Rolf says:

    …or my didgeridoolittle.

    Like

  28. 58
    RiffClichard says:

    kevin annett has some excellent information on related matter to this regarding one or two more very famous people. do a quick google or youtube search for kevin annett , i believe he has started legal proceedings against them already so if you want to be the 1st to know who they are then hurry up!!!!!!!!!!!!!!..

    Like

  29. 60
    ahmonika says:

    Seems BBC News are treating the size of Rolf’s penis as of little consequence :)

    Liked by 1 person

    • 99
      Norma Stitz says:

      A flamboyant young lawyer named Rex
      Endowed with a miniscule sex
      When arraigned for exposure
      Remarked with composure:
      “De minimis non curat lex.”

      Liked by 1 person

  30. 69
    non-aggressive tax avoidance says:

    hasn’t been gifted a stairway to heaven then

    Like

  31. 70
    Sue Denim says:

    Is this a serious line of questioning?

    Do you think they would ever permit questioning regarding the size of a woman’s labia?

    Is it just a means of trying to embarass the men (regardless of what you think of the two men so far) or is it just titillation for the masses?

    Like

    • 82
      ANON. says:

      I was thinking on similar lines, it seems common in cases like this to make the accusation and of course the tabloids just love it.

      Like

  32. 73
  33. 80
    YES! says:

    Like

  34. 81
    What's all the fuss? says:

    I’m quite chuffed to learn that I’m not the only man in the world with a small penis. Anyway it’s the girl who is left disappointed after having sex not me.

    Like

    • 130
      thostids says:

      I have a highly successful pork-swordsman who fills his bed with ladies whom he has prepared by telling them he’s “crap In bed”. It works, and they seem satisfied with the denouemont!

      Like

  35. 83

    They should present the ‘victim’ with a cock six pack & say “OK which these bastards did it” That should produce evidence that can be relied on UNLESS they say “They all look alike to me”

    Like

  36. 84
    Andrew Neil says:

    I I were rolph id just pull my pecker out and start wanking over females in the court in the style of a demented kangeroo , then slosh all over the dock and draw a likeness of the judge

    Its an easy walk due to dementia

    Like

  37. 85

    They should present the ‘victim’ with a cock six pack & say “OK which these bastards did it” That should produce evidence that can be relied on UNLESS they say “They all look alike to me”

    Like

  38. 87
    Andrew Neil says:

    MANGINA PAINTS REGINA

    Like

  39. 89
    Andrew Neil says:

    Nick clegg justfies his stance on crime

    Liked by 1 person

  40. 90
    MacGuffin says:

    I don’t understand the fixation on the penis size of alleged rapists facing trial.

    Does a man’s penis size determine whether he will get off? ;-)

    Like

  41. 92
    jgm2 says:

    OT

    http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-scotland-scotland-politics-27370812

    Fucking hilarious. The Little Scotlanders are whining about a UK-wide pension age because, since so many Scots are so fucking self-destructive, they don’t live as long as their less suicidal neighbours. And, guess what? It’s not fair!

    Hahahahaha.

    Like

  42. 96
    Long John Silver' s parrot says:

    ” ………very very small……….” this is getting a bit boring.

    Varley and Diamond under arrest “helping the Police”.

    Now that sounds interesting.

    Like

  43. 97
    Anonymous says:

    Members of the jury, please remember that Hitler only had one ball.

    Like

  44. 98
    RiffClichard says:

    kevin annett has some excellent information on related matter to this regarding one or two more very famous people. do a quick google or youtube search for kevin annett , i believe he has started legal proceedings against them already so if you want to be the 1st to know who they are then hurry up!!!!!!!!!!!!!!..,

    Like

  45. 104
    Andrew Neil says:

    Just what attracts attractive young thai women to older richer western men with odd hair

    Like

  46. 105
    Andrew Neil says:

    you seem to have forgotten your tripod mr harris

    Like

  47. 106
    Cato Street Conspirator says:

    I suppose the question we all have to ask ourselves is ‘Small in relation to what?’ How many dicks does a woman need to have seen to be able to assess relative size?

    Like

  48. 114
    Climb Up Here, Don't Be Crying says:

    Bloody hell! you certainly would not want him behind you on the horse, when there is room for two!

    Like

  49. 128
    Ippikin says:

    Isn’t that the Max Clifford defence?
    “M’Lord its like this, my penis is so small that when I flourish it around in great excitement, my victims are in no danger whatesoever as penetration is completely out of the question.”

    Like


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Lord Glasman tells it like it is:

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Owen Jones says:

We also need Zil lanes.


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