May 9th, 2014

Nonce Watch: Clifford To Be Transferred Today


Guido’s man at HM Wandsworth Prison reports that Max Clifford is expected to be transferred to an easier regime as early as today. Max is being kept segregated and went into the exercise yard yesterday morning accompanied by only two prison guards. Fellow prisoners greeted him with cheery chorused shouts of “nonce” and “c**t”, while trying to spit at him. Oh dear…


  1. 1
    M­a­qboul says:

    Max security.

  2. 2
    LOL! says:

    Fellow prisoners greeted him with chorused shouts of “nonce”, “c**t” and spitting at him

    Who said all crooks are bad?

  3. 3
  4. 4
    Chris from Grayling says:

    If you cannot do the time then you should not do the crime.

    There is one regime for some and another regime for others.

  5. 5
    Anonymong says:

    Couldnt happen to a more deserving gobshite.

    Get the Stocks and rotten veg ready for when he’s out on a tag.

  6. 6
    Susie Dent says:

    They called him a clot? That’s a bit harsh!

  7. 7
    cell says:

    whats a easier prison enviorment?

  8. 8
    gojam says:

    Reblogged this on theneedleblog.

  9. 9
  10. 10
    phil from pentonville says:

    One prisoner two prison guards ?

    Austerity is the policy !

  11. 11
    Ockham's Razor says:

    Was he doing press-ups?

  12. 12
    C.O.Jones says:

    He needs to get hold of Ernest Saunders doctor.

  13. 13
    gojam says:

    The irony is that that is exactly the kind of titbit that Mini Clifford would have hawked around the tabloid press.

  14. 14
    Anonymous says:

    He better hold on to that soap

  15. 15
    PMQS says:

    I am sure the Prime Minister will be able to explain in detail.

  16. 16
    M J K Smith says:

    No chance of a transfer to Ford Open then…..they don’t take “nonces”

    He should share a cell with skull cracker !

  17. 17
  18. 18
    A rational Hooman Bean says:


  19. 19
    Bum Cracker says:

    He could stay in my room!

  20. 20
  21. 21
    Judge Pickles says:

    Always makes me larf cynically when I read such stories. The ‘honour’ of thieves and scumbags as they somehow claim the moral highground because another scumbag is a sex offender. All ‘Cat A’s should be in segregation a la the original Pentonville model – they are no better than Clifford. Human effluent. Bring back the treadmill – real green power.

  22. 22
    Still, it could be worse says:

    make the fucker pay for a replacement.

  23. 23
    Jedi says:

    If I bashed one of my sheep over the head, strung it up by it’s back legs, slit it’s throat and watched it bleed to death whilst reciting the opening titles to Star Wars, would the RSPCA be OK with that? And would the public want to buy it?

  24. 24
    Hamish Macbeth says:

    I gather there is a spare bed at HMP Standford Hill open prison on the Isle of Sheppey.

  25. 25

    I’m not saying that he should have shagged people who were underage. That’s of course a crime, and remains so (for now) until the British-PoliticalEnemyClass need the votes of early teenagers and their shaggers.

    But the British-PoliticalEnemyClass in its need to dumb-down-and-render-uncurious-and-prurient “the masses”, so that they’d continue to say “_but it said on the BBC that…_” needed to create people like Clifford: why?

    They needed them in order for “individuals with a story to come forward bravely”.

    You know the sort – here’s an example….Pretty young ladies of little ability but great appearance who’d – on purpose – pulled footballers in “clubs” (because they had pretty boobs and therefore they could) and despite the consequent money and the showered bling were regretting the experience a little time later. Relatively harmless stuff, “two young people have sex and then fall out” (oooops…)

    The British-PoliticalEnemyClass probably began to think it ought to “take care of” Clifford as and when he began to find out more useful things about their own doings too. You know….new clients come through personal recommendation, and all that stuff.

    In 100 years’ time we’ll know.

  26. 26
    JH3243262345645 says:

    I’ve got to say, this is getting to be a wizard year.

    Max Clifford finally experiences a bit of Karma, political correctness is dying out, and UKIP are handing the metropolitan left its arse on a Union Jack plate.

  27. 27
    Centre Parting says:

    Why don’t they send him to Nigeria – i am sure he will be able to find those girls.

  28. 28
    Claire from Devizes says:

    I am offended by pictures of naked and topless women appearing on my computer screen, so I have spray-painted the screen grey.

  29. 29
    Banksy says:

  30. 30
    You KIPPER says:

    wots the angle here? is he foreign? a nonce? upholding the law? must be something to do with the EU. Yeah it’s the EU

  31. 31
    jgm2 says:

    Not in a forgiving mood then.

  32. 32
    Bob Peel says:

    We need proper institutions like the US. Those foreign inmates who won’t say where they are from because of deportation would soon own up then. Proper justice for felons.

  33. 33
    Derry Cocksporn says:

    Wonder if they’ll send him to Brixton where they’re keeping the old LibDem leader of Kingston Council ?

  34. 34
    Red Ken Lyingscum says:

    Celebrate the rich multicultural diversity !!

  35. 35
    jgm2 says:


    It’s amazing that you can always get a rent-a-mob of tracksuit-wearing chimps and pram-pushing chavs to hurl abuse at ‘nonces’ outside a courthouse and yet half the fuckers were knocked up at 15 themselves.

  36. 36
    Bob Peel says:

    Nigel played a typical blinder on QT. The prince and Shitts were nowhere, the man Nigel has achieved the perfect balance needed since Eunochs unpleasant and ruinous speech in 68. We’ve waited a long time for him and restitution of our state. The leftie Shrills will need new jobs.

  37. 37
    Bill Quango MP says:

    Guido’s man in Wandsworth?

    What has Harry done now ?

  38. 38
    The English sense of humour says:

  39. 39
    Bill Quango MP says:

    Guido’s man in Wandsworth?

    What has Neo done now ?

  40. 40
    I hear ya! says:

    +1 trillion

    It’s absolutely disgusting the way this country has been handed over to the followers of that religion (I can’t mention its name because Guido has recently taken to deleting comments that mock or criticise that disgusting ideology). The people who allowed this – Blair, Brown and now Cameron – are treasonous c-unts.

  41. 41
    pimply nerd says:

    RE Drummond, he offends me. Do you think he would mind if I painted him blue? Fair is fair?

  42. 42
    Once respectable, now infected RCPCA says:

    We fully embrace multiculturalism and applaud our brethren’s actions in this field.

  43. 43
    Once respectable, now infected RSPCA says:

    Mmmm. Got my initials wrong there. I’m on so many boards you see, I get confused.

  44. 44
    C O (Ξ7s1) says:

    Interested to find out what his destination will be: What category is he ? B or C ?

    Could he be headed for Wakefield ? :-)

  45. 45
    Bob Fleming says:

    +1000 more

  46. 46


  47. 47
  48. 48
    Gordon Brown, Phoney B£iar, and the rest of the cabal says:

    We’re lucky – if there was any justice in the world we would ‘of’ been locked up years ago!

    May still happen – but Cherry is big on yoomun royts ‘n stuff

  49. 49
    Anonymous says:

    they may have a problem if you were shagging it at the time

  50. 50
    Microphallus says:

    Tautaulogus the wise.

  51. 51
    BBC says:


  52. 52
    Nigel says:

    You’ve got to admire him though. hic

  53. 53
    C O (Ξ7s1) says:

    At least two of those names are sub judice.

    One of those is arguably an explicit libel.

  54. 54
    Max says:

    By me.

    BTW, you won’t be getting my secret stories. I need establishemnt friends now more than ever.

  55. 55
    Anonymous says:

    Prime Minister??? . . . You mean that odious thing in Downing Street?

    You must be larfin’

  56. 56
    C.O.Jones says:

    They were there to visit the nonce that knocked them up in the first place. Grateful for the ensuing business plan they were given to provide them an income and a roof over their heads for the rest of their lives.

  57. 57
    Dave Chillax says:

    Halal necrophilia?

  58. 58
    Sparks fly! says:

    If you missed last night’s Channel 4 News, you missed a popcorn worthy heated argument!

  59. 59
    Anonymous says:

    #PigIgnorant #WilfulLiar #GotBlingWatch

  60. 60
    Prisonhitch says:


    Jailed kiddie rapist showed us around his taxpayer funded top of the range sex offender abode
    His new room mate is trim 84 year old child Rapist Stuart “its a knockout drop”
    The evenings just fly said Stunning 74 year old pederast Clifford
    We enjoy games of Lewdo long into the night on our council funded cardboard games console before settling down to read articles about child abductions and torture
    I hope they throw the key away

  61. 61
    C O (Ξ7s1) says:

    Weren’t those types of honey-trap sting operations once known as badgering ?

    Recruitment of ‘willing’ prostitutes with a certain look is one thing, but the state putting its hand in the care home sweety jar, or the likes of Clifford doing what he was is quite another.

    The problem is – they have been caught with their trousers down after having been stupid another to do it in the first place.

  62. 62
    jgm2 says:

    The RSPCA is now just a front for prosecuting old ladies in order to maintain the salaries and pensions of their management.

    They’re no more concerned about animals than pubcos are about keeping pubs open.

    Their business model is exactly the same though.

  63. 63
    TonyWarIsANiceLittleEarner says:

    What a wimp! He touched up a few teen-aged girls – I killed hundreds of children (and did very nicely out of it, thank you)

  64. 64
    Feel the Enrichment News 24 says:

    The four were convicted at Reading Crown Court of 20 sexual offences dating between December 2011 and July 2012, the victim was aged just 14.

    Nazakat Mahmood, aged 28, of Batchelors Way, Chesham was convicted of seven counts of sexual activity with a child and two counts of causing or inciting a child to engage in sexual activity.

    Ghulfaraz Nawaz, aged 27, of Benham Close, Chesham, was convicted of two counts of sexual activity with a child.

    Haroon Rauf, aged 30, of Drakes Close, Amersham, was convicted of two counts of sexual activity with a child, one count of assault by beating.

    Omar Sharif, aged 25, of Brockhurst Road, Chesham, was convicted of six counts of sexual activity with a child.

  65. 65
    ALDI says:

    See you around the back in five minutes


  66. 66
    jgm2 says:


  67. 67
    The Graouniad / BBC / EUSSR News Axis of Evil says:

    Pay no attention to the cruel way of killing animals for the bruvvas

    Pay no attention to the needless and cruel way of cutting and maiming girls

    Pay no attention to plans to subvert schooling

    It’s all part of cultural enrichment!!


  68. 68
    Labour says:

    Please! We’re trying to make people forget that and just keep on our mantra of baby eating Tories and it’s all Thatcher’s fault! We don’t want the public to remember that it was a Labour PM who caused more innocent deaths than any other British PM ever.

  69. 69
    Handycock whipping it out says:

    That is a very negative attitude to a man who has done no more than use his position to shag a few young girls. Boaz.

  70. 70
    Wally says:

    Where’s Chuka Umunna?

  71. 71
    Handycock says:

    I’m still free .

  72. 72
    Anonymous says:

    Joanthan King and Garry Glitter are on poibt duty

  73. 73
    nell says:

    If you are talking about slaughter practices – you clearly are not a watcher of Countryfile, that recently dealt with this issue.

    You have let your lurid ill-informned imagination run wild without bothering to check your facts – much like the labour ads men do on other subjects.

  74. 74
    Iain Duncan Smith says:

    I say, Boy. Yes you, I’ll just have the £39.00 breakfast thank you.

  75. 75
    nell says:

    as for max clifford I think we should leave him in p e a c e now that the law has dealt with him. I for one don’t want to keep hearing about his daily woes which he clearly brought upon himself.

    There are far more amusing and interesting things out here to think about.

  76. 76
    shocking says:

    I can’t believe the other inmates behaved like that, you would think those former labour MP’s would have a bit of decorum

  77. 77
    Alf Garnett says:

    I’m stunned

  78. 78
    imanhitchyballs says:

    Allah is wishing us to chase sheep whilst wearing a funny costume and making funny noises then be killing them
    It is so written

  79. 79
    Obese Cyril's Ghost says:

    I’m so glad all my LibDum mates and the rest of the Westminster liberati protected me

  80. 80
    News from A-wing says:

    Its the usual for most “celebs” to be segregated, and everywhere they go, then need two officers. He may be safer in solitary, or transfered to a more friendly place full of bent coppers, solicitors, judges and the like.

  81. 81
    Kiddy fiddler says:

    This is not hystorical.

  82. 82
    News from A-wing says:

    who gives a flying fart what Christina sez?

  83. 83
    Anonymous says:

    This is another case of a double tier justice system. Move to an easier regime? Sent the twat to KGB headquarters in Tashkent and let them PLAY with him!!!!!!

  84. 84
    JH3243262345645 says:

    I happened to be walking past the court in Peterborough as they drove Maxine Carr in.

    Oh, what a lovely array of humanity had turned out to welcome her, baying at the side of the soundproof van.

    It dignified the death of those girls, it really did. Bought a tear to my eye.

  85. 85
    iman farok says:

    Im going for a slash

  86. 86
    VOTE UKIP says:

    The RSPCA are so PC regarding ‘diversity’ and other bollocks their shit is odourless

    (Most of) the General Public couldn’t care a toss until they are forced to see

    which leaves a few genuine people to make the best of what’s left

  87. 87
    Ockham's Razor says:

    In case you did not see:

    Interesting slant on International Studies criticising it for being too western-centric and reductionist.

    One can see why Singapore’s previous Foreign Minister can levy such a charge as he has to deal with a very different world to the failing liberally-inclined western model.

  88. 88
    News from A-wing says:

    Max ought to take aleaf out of Skull Crackers book, escape when on day release, but instead of hanging around das kapital – fork orf to SWITZER.

  89. 89
    RightwinggitRedux says:

    Not On Normal Courtyard Exercise.

    For the uninitiated.

  90. 90
    Lenny says:

    That looks like my old uncle George…

  91. 91
    jgm2 says:

    I think Omar Sharif is older than 25. Fucking liar.

  92. 92

    Perhaps they decided they didn’t like it after all, and want to sue some famous fellow. Also they don’t give a fcu* which one.

  93. 93
    Grim Reaper says:

    Careful what you say Handy. Your turn next.

  94. 94
    jgm2 says:

    Wasn’t Clifford a very prominent Labour-ite at one point?

    If it’s not libellous to accuse somebody of supporting Labour.

  95. 95
    Bruce and Shiela from Waggawagga says:

    So in which open prison are these Asian pervs currently residing? And how long were their sentences for?

  96. 96
    Owen Jones says:

    We must respect their traditions and their culture of grooming, torturing and r*ping kuffar white english 12 year old whores.

  97. 97
    MB. says:

    I wonder how many prisoners he will be signing up for exclusives in the tabloids once he is released or even a book with all their stories?

  98. 98
    (That's enough Eds, Ed!) says:

    I’m so enriched!

  99. 99
    Neil.H says:

    I DO

  100. 100
    Village Idiot says:

    ……Here,here,…fantastic to witness these “Karma” events,more to follow,hopefully!

  101. 101
    Lady Virginia Droit de Seigneur says:

    I thought a lot of people greeted him like that even before his past came to light.

  102. 102
    Not in my name says:

    Oh dear how sad never mind.

  103. 103
    Owen Jones says:

    This is a perfect example of why I gave up watching Ch. 4 News several years ago. What a totally absurd and pathetic interview. The two wimmin are from another planet and the exasperation of the poor guy at the ridiculous questions got my sympathy. This was really scraping the barrel.

  104. 104
    (I've been renamed) DA-Notice says:

    Indeed; and there is also the lesser Not Of Normal Criminal Extraction.

  105. 105
    Dribbling Lemocrat says:

    Pay peanuts get troll monkeys.

  106. 106
    He will have an arse-hole like a clown's pocket says:

    He was done “For Unlawful Carnal Knowledge”.

  107. 107
    Pa Roll says:

    Will Max be on a day release and visit Sunbury?

  108. 108
    Andy Car Park says:

    She looks like Audrey Roberts off Corrie.

  109. 109
    It struck me says:

    Is he going to Parliament?

  110. 110
    Jack Ketch says:

    I popped into Boots the Chemist today, they have a poster there that states “Max the morning with Vaseline”. Is that what they call product placement?

  111. 111
    Justified Ancient of Mu Mu says:

    Yea he has money to burn….

  112. 112
  113. 113
    Jack Ketch says:

    The arrests and trials of show-business types like Stuart Hall, Rolf Harris, Max Clifford & Dave Lee Travis have all involved naughty stuff with adolescent girls. When, in the interests of balance and equality, will we see trials of the bastards who interfered with little boys?

  114. 114
    Screw says:

    Nonce privileges at Wandsworth include being able to sun themselves all day in the yard while straight cons get a pallor inside.

  115. 115
    4sheep4mywife says:

    So does that make Chuka pig ignorant or a liar then or both.

  116. 116
    Postal Votes are Labour Loo Paper says:

    Bung Clifford in a cell with a guy named Bubba and very small jar of vaseline- or maybe none…

  117. 117
    Rotherhampoofta says:

    Give up Gavin there’s two of em’your on a hiding to nothing.

  118. 118
    £££££££££££££ says:

    how many of the censorious prisoners referred to avidly read the garbage he put into newspapers?

  119. 119
    Casus Jacqui says:

    It’s not a cell. It’s Max’ Head Room.

  120. 120
    Rotherhampoofta says:

    You mean Mudslimes?

  121. 121
    broderick crawford says:

    Max needs sone headroom .

  122. 122
    broderick crawford says:

    Erratum : post should read;

    ” .. with cheery chorused shouts of ” nonce” and ” c –t ” while trying to spit-roast him “.

  123. 123
    broderick crawford says:

    i know nothing about terry richardson or his pictures so after the above clip i googled ” terry richardson graphic sexual images ”

    the worst i could come up with was a fully bikini ‘d model snuggling up to him with her own hands on her own crotch .

    If any body thinks that s exploitation today they should go back to covering table legs with cloth and keep taking the tablets .

  124. 124
    broderick crawford says:

    Stop abusing the taser then.

  125. 125
    The idiot logic and warped morality of the fucktards in charge says:

    I am also proud that despite sanctioning bomardments which killed many many innocent men women and children as unfortunate casualties of the greater good I took a stand against hanging murdering scum who slay our citizens on the street.

  126. 126
    Where's me fookin bennies? says:

    Another hopeless lefty dullard squealing “look at me”.
    No. Fook off.

  127. 127
    Where's me fookin bennies? says:


  128. 128
    Topper says:

    No Iain, you ‘believe’ you will have that breakfast.

  129. 129
    The Public says:

    He was good on QT though wasn’t he. Twonk.

  130. 130
    Dave T says:

    All the above and a chimp.

  131. 131
    Death by Bongo says:

    I’m sure Max went shopping at Boots after he was convicted and before he was sentenced – to buy a couple of tubs of Vaseline and some Soap on a Rope… After all – it is better to have, and not need than to NEED and not have!

    Don’t bend over in the showers Max!

  132. 132

    40 years too late,

  133. 133
    Tony Blair - Everyday I'm Hustling says:

    Max Clifford sexually abused me when I was 15 years old. First, he forced me to take off my bra for some photos using the devious method of asking me to take my bra off (didn’t Page 3 used to feature 15 year olds?).

    Then he would finger bang me on the way home from the Playboy Club in Mayfair in his car. He did this everytime he took me out.

    I didn’t tell my parents because they were very strict. And they thought Max was helping me with my career, which is why they let their 15 year old daughter go off with him alone to clubs in London on eight ocassions, even though they were very strict…

    Parents are dead now, by the way — so don’t bother trying to asking their side of the story. I’ve donated my fee from this story to charity, to prove I’m not a golddigger. I’ll be keeping the Criminal Injuries Compensation, though.

  134. 134
    dr river says:

    ‘hangman excercising with gallow survivors’

    surely a red top front page?

  135. 135
    Philagain says:

    She is a tory whore and deserved everything that she and her tory husband got.
    They are both racist bigots who Flaunt heir money about as if they actually earned any of it. I HATE these homophobic bigots with their fancy new Ford cars and clean houses. They simply make me sick!

  136. 136
    Bubba says:

    Do you mind I’ve got more respect for my dick!

  137. 137
    In A Flap says:

    but Philagain, weren’t you also once a racist bigot, islamaphobe and BNP supporter?
    Aren’t you also a benefits cheat who has a large spanish property that you have hidden from the taxman and the benefits peoples.

    If the tory whore you are referring to is cliffords wife. Clifford was a labour supporter, liar and cheat, in fact he is just like you.

  138. 138
    In A Flap says:

    or perhaps you are referring to christeen hamilton, she of course is more of a man than you can ever hope to be.

  139. 139
    Anonymous says:

    As far as I’m concerned Max Clifford is being hounded because he is successful and confident those girls weren’t baby’s they new what they were doing, people love putting successful people down unfortunately that’s what people are like, I’m a woman and as far as I’m concerned the word NO comes into play

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