May 8th, 2014

Media Bitch Fight of the Week (International Edition)


  1. 1
    Ockham's Razor says:

    Isn’t the phrase “bitch fight” rather passé now?


    • 8
      Common Purpose says:

      The word “bitch” is now deemed politically incorrect.

      It is banned/verboten.

      You will not be allowed to think it, let alone speak it, in future.


      • 18
        Ockham's Razor says:

        I use all sorts of politically incorrect words. Fuck, сunt, wanker, shit, tosser… even the awful tυrd (which is even banned here FFS!) but I don’t like bitch as a word and tend not to use it unless in its proper sense.

        Now you have pointed out the obvious fact that it is non-PC, I see it is here to stay. Still don’t like it, though…

        What a bitch!


        • 34
          C O (Ξ7t1) says:

          Only the F-Bomb is mildly un PC.

          The big one is the N-word, which when read this way puts a rac!st thought in the mind of all PC aware readers.

          You do not express that one yourself, except when someone suggests it to you. :-)


          • Ockham's Razor says:

            I have told this one before but it is worth repeating. I was being dr!ven from Banjul Airport to Kololi once and I noticed the car in front of me, dr!ven by a local, bore the number plate NIGGA 1.

            Not a problem for them, neither for me.

            Inexplicably, for some folk who rarely get out of their armchairs in Hampstead, simply to utter this word is a crime which exceeds all the evil of the Holocaust…


          • C O (Ξ7t1) says:

            It’s not just Hampstead.

            Not using such terms frequently in a derogatory manner on mass media is wise as that would be a key over feature of negative propaganda which would lead to one outcome only.

            The PC dogma with banning words, leading to enforced restrictions in usage is a flawed attempt at thought control. The word will remain in the collective conscience, and become more strongly associated with negative emotion: I would argue that for many it would transcend linguistic semantic and become symbolic.

            Orwell missed this aspect of the psychological practicalities of New Speak. Those in Hampstead who advocate it perhaps have not.

            A deeper look here and reflection on the effect that peer group and legally enforced word banning has on the individual should expose a very coercive power dynamic.

            The real power of symbols is realized once a symbol is associated with certain emotions in the minds of enough people. They then becomes a very powerful weapon indeed.


          • C O (Ξ7t1) says:

            Last sentence should have read:

            They then become very powerful weapons indeed.

            – Bit distracted today… ;-)


      • 49
        Under Siege 2 says:

        “The word bitch is now deemed politically incorrect”

        What term am I supposed to now use when refering to Kay Burley?


    • 105
      broderick crawford says:

      Is that known as “Desk rage ” ??


  2. 2
    B3 says:

    Chaaaaaaneeeeell Niiiiiiiiine!


  3. 3
    Ed Moribund says:

    I wish Question Time was this interesting.


    • 7
      David now of NYC says:

      You wouldn’t be able to answer the questions.


    • 15
      BBC Propaganda Ops says:

      Question Time is carefully stage managed programme with the aid our hand picked audiences.

      Please don’t go there for any spontaneity or truth.


      • 19
        The Great British Public fed up with unwanted multi culteral diversity & now all voting UKIP.ORG says:

        Question Time tonight will be very interesting tonight as Nigel Farage
        will have not just four panelists against him which includes Grant Shi*tes,
        Chucka Mona but also Chairman Dimbletw*at & of course the now
        Rudderless Biased Broadcasting Company infamous audience selection
        exclusively from Zanu*Lie* Labor sheepe

        Wonder who TV viewers decide the winner is ??


      • 25
        Anonymous says:

        (Dont forget the plants asking about racism and homophobia and such)

        And for the last 15 years or so, last words (uninterrupted) go to the libor party stooge . .


      • 94
        Dangerous Brian says:

        Awww, you’ve spoiled it for me now.


    • 29
      C O (Ξ7t1) says:

      They were arguing about Syr!a of all things.

      One accused the other of taking money to support A’ssad, and the reflective allegation came back of support for rebels.

      Worth breaking the table over as those types of allegations going out on air can result in families being killed.


    • 79
      Bosun Higgs says:

      Is it true that Arabic has no word for ‘calm’?


  4. 4
    God says:

    I really failed here. After all this time, 65 seconds of trivial TV still encapsulates the middle east in thought and deed.


    • 37
      Under Siege 2 says:

      Make it entertaining you lazy omni-impotent deity and let them sort it out in the traditional manner: spray n pray with an AK


    • 41
      Vlad the Loudhailer says:

      Where’s the Middle East peace envoy when you need him?


      • 81
        TONY BALONEY-Off saving the Middle East or summink says:

        I was at one of my houses, I forget which one…..But don’t let this distract you away from the huge potential little Ewan has, or my donations to the Labour Party…


    • 89
      Close Down the BBC Now says:

      When I saw the word Jordan I thought it was about Katie Price and Jane Pountney.


  5. 5
    fastsho' says:



  6. 6
    Isaac Hunt says:

    I’ve heard of table-dancing before, but that was much funnier!

    Where was the UKIP smear btw?


  7. 11
    Hamspam Chowder says:

    The religion of peace in all its glory.


  8. 12
    Pookie Snackumberger says:

    Some one needs to do one of those subtitle thingy’s, like the hitlar film.

    They could be discussing Goofy Ed’s newrubic cube or perhaps weather Chris Bryants underpants are full of nasty skidmarks.


  9. 13
    jgm2 says:

    Dave would beat the shit out of Ed Miliband. Though I reckon it could be a closer fight between him and Ed Balls.


  10. 14
    Lenny Henry says:

    I’d like to see more people like this on our television.


    • 22
      BBC Propaganda Ops says:

      Have you ever notice how all of our PC comedians (especially Russell Howard btw) all have the same thing in common i.e. they are all about as funny as cancer.


      • 31
        cancer says:

        Don’t compare me with those unfunny twats.


      • 55
        Lenny Henry says:

        They learnt everything from me.

        Let’s say you have a joke (I have about 5, never needed more). When you just tell the joke it is x funny.

        If you SHOUT the joke, it is x2 funny.

        Now try shouting the joke, while staring at the audience with raised eyebrows, as if to say – laugh or you are racist and/or bigoted evil Tory scum.

        Then it is x3 funny.


        • 62
          Miranda Midwife says:

          if that fails fall over and show your knickers. That’s hysterical..apparently.


          • Under Siege 2 says:

            Miranda when you born were you a boy or a girl or a bit of both?


          • The BBC says:


            Miranda is brilliantly, awesomely funny. She is a national treasure, just like us. Because we say so. We don’t have any adverts you know, because of the unique way we are funded.

            Apart from all the adverts by us, for us, telling you how brilliant we are and reminding you that we are a national treasure and you love us. Or else. We call these ‘idents’, so we don’t have to call them adverts. Which they are.

            By order,

            Your metropolitan liberal betters.


      • 91
        Bernard Manning says:

        Or as funny as a burning orphanage.


  11. 16
    cbr100rr says:

    Man those are two guys i would love to meet down a dark alley.


  12. 17
    I say,I say,I say says:

    Now they want you to be outraged that your meat is being killed by a halal butcher instead of shot at Aintree.


    • 24
      jgm2 says:

      To be honest I’m not that bothered how my meat is killed but I do resent the fact that 90% of it is killed in a manner to appease 5% of the population.

      Fuck ‘em – where did they get it into their fucking heads that they’re so special and that the rest of us should go out of our way to do things their way?


      • 40
        chaimekaneroodown sport "(and cut its throat) says:

        from the other self chosen ones


      • 45
        boycott halal says:

        I’m very bothered about how my meat is killed-which is why I buy it from my
        local butcher.
        What’s the point in having stringent animal welfare laws when they’re secretly being slaughtered using such cruel methods and then sold to unsuspecting consumers.


        • 66
          Under Siege 2 says:

          Does it taste different? If not all I care about is the price? I buy halal chicken for making curry as it’s cheaper than the other chicken on the same shelf in Costco.

          Sorry but it’s a chicken doesn’t matter how it spends the last 30 seconds of it’s life.


          • support your local butcher says:

            So does Costco label the chicken as halal then?
            That’s more than other supermarkets manage to do.


        • 80
          M­a­qboul says:

          By draining the blood from the animal it will be less tasty. Also the stressful way it is killed can make the meat less tender. But cooking it in curry will disguise all that – you might as well use tofu.


        • 108
          Ciaran Goggins says:

          I prefer eating cocks, but I don’t mind the odd hen.


      • 46
        Admiral Allah Ackbar - its a trap says:

        God told them they were special.


      • 78
        still walking into darkness says:

        by 5% you mean 50% surely


  13. 20
    Fruitcake and swivel eyed loony loving the panic and utter desperation says:

    Brown v Blair part deux.


  14. 21
    A Tory BumBoy says:

    How will Labour do on May 22nd? Only 20 mins left to vote in our weekly survey!


  15. 23
    Mad Hattie Harman says:

    You see, that’s what happens when you let men get involved in the discussion. If this programme had only had women on it, they would have discussed things reasonably, never disagreed with other and all murmured in sympathy when female anyone said anything. It would have been much better television.


  16. 27
    Nigel Mirage says:


    • 77
      Pookie Snackumberger says:

      That’s nothing, I heard a UKIP candidate who once said, and I quote, “Good Morning” to a Bulgarian. Yes a Bulgarin.

      How do they ever expect to get elected?


  17. 28
    John_Carvings says:

    They were probably tutored by Putin in nation building.


  18. 30
    hitchfight says:

    Arabic is a most excellent language for forcibly getting a point across

    Even “good morning” sounds like



  19. 39
    Gordon the fruitcake says:

    That reminds me of the cabinet we had to discuss the 10p tax rate abolition.
    if ‘wee Dougie’ had been a bit stronger I wouldn’t have knocked him cold and he might have prevented me from later making an utter tit of myself.


  20. 42
    Mitch says:

    Looks like the two clowns who ‘helped’ me move house.


  21. 47
    Asslick Almond says:


  22. 50
    Bill_Oody says:

    I’ve seen better Sets built by Badgers!


  23. 56
    Dan 'warden' Hodges says:

    if Ed Miliband becomes prime Minister I will eat my hat… And coat. ..And pants. And trousers, socks, belt, shoes, sunglasses .. basically I’ll eat the entire wardrobe.


    • 60
      jgm2 says:

      Save it. If Miliband becomes PM you’ll need all that stuff to keep you warm in 2015. And to eat in 2016.


    • 64
      hitchsausage says:

      Well is the only kind of food you will be able o afford

      UKIP is offering a full english breafast, a pint of ale and a pipe of tobacco for every child each and every day in everey day
      pork products will be compulsory and raised on the school farm


      • 75
        Bill Quango MP says:

        Well that decides me then .. I’m joining the loons if there’s a full English in it.
        It has a got a bit muesli since the Dems came on board.

        I believe Labour have Special K at their breakfast meetings. Only Ed Balls goes round and markers the ‘K’ into an ‘M’.


  24. 63
    tweeting teather's teat tweets are sweet says:

    now that’s how to table a motion.


  25. 70
    Ed Moribund says:

    Costa livin’ crisis
    Freezer stuff policies
    rent controls
    zero hours
    bedroom tax

    This blank piece of paper is almost full !! I’m on a roll!
    I’ll turn it over ..

    HEY! Who drew this enormous wang on the back? Its spurting..and got those hairy balls…Who did this..and when…and ..

    Have I been walking around with a big knob drawn on the back of this paper for four years?


  26. 72
    cbr100rr says:

    UKIP need two guys like that to fight their corner. Real men not afraid to put their foot forwxd,


    • 100
      yep says:

      Their Dep Leader Paul Nuttall stood up to Coburn on the
      DP today saying it wasn’t racist to talk about a Romanian
      crime wave or to call for a points-based immigration system.
      This is exactly what the public has been waiting to hear.


  27. 83
    Axe The Telly Tax & Religion & Kill All Eco-loons says:

    Bloody cheap IKEA furniture :-)


  28. 90
    Damian Thompson says:

    Today in the Telegraph website’s comment section, we have a religious nutter telling you you’re an Islamophobe for not wanting to eat halal chicken and a lesbian telling you you’re a homophobe for voting UKIP (yesterday it was a gay). Earlier in the week one of our feminist writers pointed out you were a misogynist for reading mens’ magazines.

    All we need is a “trans” columnist and our journey to the dark side (the Guardian) will be complete. If you are a transsexual and you fancy writing for the most pathetic “right wing” broadsheet in the country, please contact me.


  29. 104
    Vince Cable's Rucksack says:

    Never trust a raghead. Vince told me that.


  30. 106
    Ned Ludd says:

    Eh! Mentali! Boutros boutros ghali.


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