May 7th, 2014

PMQs SKETCH: Self-Confident Ed Lacking Intellectual Capacity

The self-confidence of Ed Miliband is other-worldly. So other-worldly that broadcasting it, he feels, makes him more electable.

Between him and Cameron, he told the Standard, “I am the one with much more intellectual self-confidence, actually.” (‘Actually’!)

How then to explain his second-class degree, when everybody else was getting firsts (Ed Balls, David Miliband, David Cameron, Stewart Wood perhaps)? Even a second-class Corpus degree is enough to recognize the difference between intellectual self-confidence and intellectual capacity.

He began PMQs with an easy, teasing line about his rent control proposals: when would the PM “make the inevitable journey from saying that they represent dangerous Venezuelan-style thinking to saying that they are actually quite a good idea?”

The PM came back saying it was a Tory proposal all along, and that several senior Labour spokespeople had denounced the idea as unworkable, undesirable, impracticable, unsustainable.

To this, the intellectually superior Miliband replied, “All he shows is he has no idea about this incredibly important issue.”

But that isn’t exactly what it showed, and someone with more intellectual capacity would have found a better response.

He asked about the PM’s reservations: what actually was wrong with three-year tenancies with fixed rent rises?

Cameron’s reply was evasive, but made sense to landlords. He was against rent controls and in favour of more rental property. It might even make sense to tenants, when they think about it.

And even economic intellectuals agree – price signals as a guide to resource shortages and investment strategies are a more objective indicator than a political leader’s passing, personal fancies.

In spite of his enormous self-confidence and astonishing self-esteem, Ed Miliband has failed in four years to produce a policy package beyond What I Don’t Like I’ll Change. Regardless of incentives, perverse incentives, unintended consequences, commercial reality, human nature, Ed’s intellect has come up with a doctrine for Labour that says People Should Be More Like Me.

It’s hard to see that working, when it’s Ed Miliband we have to be more like.


  1. 1
    Bloomers in rain-soaked Bongo Bongo Land says:

  2. 2
    Whiffler says:

    He is such a tw@t.

  3. 3
    Ed Balls - Shallow Chancer says:

    Empty Eds make the mots noise.

  4. 4
    Anonymous says:

    they have now written a letter to dave, that will show him

  5. 5
    Ed Miliband says:

    I am the second son of a socialist intellectual and have the house to prove it.

  6. 6
    Silent Majority says:

    Miliband’s confidence is like that of a teenager driving a car. He thinks he’s good but he’s a high risk liability.

    It’ll end in tears and we’ll all pay for his irresponsible and illiterate joy ride.

  7. 7
    Great British Public says:

  8. 8
    Gooey Blob says:

    They say every dog has his day. In Miliband’s case it was getting elected as party leader against all expectations. Already miles out of his depth and it shows.

  9. 9
    Anonymous says:

    will he be one of those people who have expensive houses in london but live in another place i.e. doncaster which he got without paying tax as it was in a trust

  10. 10
    Anonymous says:

    Who on earth wants a 3 year tenancy?

    ….and if they did, can you not ask for one? … what has it to do with him.

    If Cameron can’t be non-evasive on such basic things then I do worry

  11. 11
    Ed Twelvety Balls says:

    Which letter was it? Today I learned about the letters F and T, and the number 5. Was it one of those?

    I love Big Bird.

  12. 12
    I wish the LibLabCons would stand by thier EU flag says:

    I see the Union Jack but no twelve star rag.Must be election time again.

  13. 13
    JH343456353245234 says:

    You’ll also struggle to find another country whose public figures and ‘intellectuals’ have such obvious disdain for the native population, and are so hell-bent on ethnically and culturally replacing them.

  14. 14
    Mornington Crescent says:

    No rainbow flag either…

  15. 15
    Rabbi Josh says:

    I really love a good Chicken pizza from Pizza Express….oh *****!

  16. 16
    David Cameron says:

    Britain may be a small island,,,but we’ll still keep trying to pack the buggers in.

  17. 17
    Mornington Crescent says:

    We need to be fucking resilient with twats like the LibLabCon in power.

  18. 18
    Apthorpe says:

    Even if he got in his scope for damage is limited and it would be by such a slim majority that his government would be unlikley to last. The EU set the agenda for ConLabLib the markets then decide if it makes sense and reward/punish accordingly. A strong UKIP showinf in May will put pressure on Dave and Millbean to make policy changes for the manifestos that they want to avoid. This is the time to keep the pressure on to get them to commit to a real vost on the EU from that all other reform will flow. It’s a slim chance but one worth taking in May.

  19. 19
    Dan 'warden' Hodges says:

    Honk if you think Ed Miliband stinks.

    honk honk

  20. 20
    Anonymous says:

    Why didn’t Cameron just state ” Listen you power crazed Marxist tit, you don’t own AstraZenica, the shareholders do and there is fuck all you can do about it

  21. 21
    RickB says:

    Sounds like Dave might be voting UKIP.

  22. 22
    Dave says:

    My other donor’s a non-dom.

  23. 23
    Bloomers in rain-soaked Bongo Bongo Land says:

    What about the twats in ukip ?

  24. 24
    Fishy says:

    Miliband’s intellectual self confidence must be the reason for his smugness and his sneering, smirking dismissal of anyone who he considers to be beneath him (ever the one nation socialist, our Ed).

    Actually his lack of bashfulness reminds me that we were once introduced to the ‘towering intellect’ of his predecessor, Gordon Brown – it strikes me that Weird Ed is another nutter that’s found his way to the top – but admittedly a different type of nutter this time.

    Actually Opportunist Ed reminds me of a 1960’s Shop Steward, the agitator taking every opportunity to tell the workforce how badly off they were and how badly the bosses were treating them.

    Perhaps when Ed grows up and finds some substance, he’ll stop being the agitator and start being a politician.

  25. 25
    Gooey Blob says:

    They’ll never find themselves in power.

  26. 26
    Top Trumps says:

    The animal liberation front are quiet on this issue.
    Islam trumps lamb in the lefty pack of cards by the look of it.

  27. 27
    The public says:


  28. 28
    Intellectual Pigmy says:

    ” Ed’s
    intellect has come up with a doctrine
    for Labour that says People Should Be
    More Like Me.”

    No! Ed is playing the populism card, regardless of whether or not populist ideas are workable or achievable without doing long economic damage.

    The intellect of Ed Miliband amounts to State Intervention! State Intertervention! State Intervention!

    You do not need a collosal intellect to understand that communism and socialism inevitably leads to failure and misery for everyone! History teaches you this!

    We need a fairer sociery but socialism is master- slave in reverse and everyone will suffer in the long term.

  29. 29
    sometime I wonder, then I think who cares says:

    You have a nerve you and your mates, I include Liebour and the Libcraps and the EU have happily been destroying Britain, you destroyed all it’s industries to aid the EU, you sold what’s left to foreign countries and you destroyed all free speech and you lied you fkin head off just to get a pot of gold from the EU, f off and leave us alone, were fed up with your kind, your upkeep is vast and your worth is zero..

  30. 30
    catesby says:

    Success in exams is no guide to proper intelligence many of the greatest achievers and most successful people did nothing in school /uni exams. All 3 of liblabcon lack perception and a real understanding of the world they want to ‘represent’. They have absolutely no common sense If they were really that intelligent they would do something much more useful than politics. None of then could successfully run a business for example. They ARE NOT intelligent!

  31. 31
    Officer Dibble says:

    How long before people start noticing that Millibrain will always say “he just doesn’t get it” or “all it shows is he has no idea” regardless of what Cameron says?

    At least Cameron actually tries to answer the question, unlike Gordoom who was too busy trying to work a pre-rehearsed sound bite or a reference to Lord Ashcroft into his answers.

    Cameron thinks on his feet, whereas Milliband just regurgitates the same tired lines

  32. 32
    The Reverend Flowers and the Co-op disaster says:

    Gawd! This is heavy shit man!

  33. 33
    Tom Watson says:

    Socialists never grow up they just get old and embarrass themselves at music festivals trying to buy substances of anyone they see in dreadlocks.

  34. 34
    Ed Balls says:

    Honkety, honkety, honk.

  35. 35
    PDubya says:

    Tip for Ed – It is far better to remain silent and let everyone think you are a village idiot
    than open your mouth and remove any lingering doubt.

  36. 36
    JH343456353245234 says:

    Many people’s ‘intelligence’ pivots around having a cunning way of getting others to do their bidding, and then positioning themselves to take credit for the work carried out. We’ve all seen them operating in the workplace.

    ‘Intelligence’ and ‘Competence’ are associated but by no means causally linked. There are people who are very good at advancing themselves through a management structure but are capable of doing approximately fuck all of any use.

    A case in point is Gordon Brown. That man managed to become our Prime Minister for a couple of years, despite being incapable of not fucking up whatever he went near.

    Prime. Minister.

  37. 37
    Gooey Blob says:

    Have you seen Labour’s latest PPB? Just an attack ad, no word on what they would do. Barrel-scrapingly desperate stuff. Out of good ideas and running out of time. Meanwhile, their poll lead is down again, 1% in the two latest polls.

  38. 38
    Bloomers in rain-soaked Bongo Bongo Land says:

  39. 39
    nell says:

    Poor old militwit wanting to take labour back to the 70’s. The last time rent controls were tried – 75% of private rented housing stock was lost as landlords moved their investments elsewhere. Energy price caps = power blackouts . railways nationalisation = loss of infrastructure investment, deteriorating rolling stock and more strikes.

    militwit’s vision of the UK will take us back to the three day week where the unions were in charge , where we were not able to bury our dead and where people queued for bread ( well those who didn’t know how to make their own did). And let’s not forget the rubbish that built up on the streets because the councils bin men decided not to work either.

    And then to add insult to injury he wants to control folks diet , make them eat healthy , exercise more often and stop drinking alcohol – that’ll please his welfare benefit ‘voters’ – if they can be bothered to get out of bed to vote for him.

    Anyway ‘joy’ all round for each of us in militwit’s Britain!! God forbid!!

  40. 40
    Fatty Pang and His Four Pensions says:

    I’ve had my day and will spend my remaining years counting my money.

  41. 41
    Tim Yeo-Yo says:

    I bet the useless twunt doesn’t even have a driving licence.

  42. 42
    Ed Balls says:

    Please ask intellectual Ed home come ..

    South Korea – one of the most prosperous nations in Asia.
    North Korea – one of the poorest nations on earth

    South Korea – South Korea’s economy is high-tech and industrialized. Its main industries include electronics, telecommunications, auto production, steel, shipbuilding and chemical production. Some of South Korea’s largest companies include Hyundai, LG and Samsung.

    North Korea – The main exports are cheap copies of soviet era weapons and rice

    Why does Ed think North Korea is the model to follow? Just because his dad says so?

  43. 43
    Hattie Hatemen says:


  44. 44
    Bill Quango MP says:

    .. and , possibly strangest of all, those 1970’s Labour governments, the most union friendly governments there have ever been in the UK, was brought down by ..the unions !

  45. 45
    EeeYepBlowing Whistles says:

    He has passed his ‘empty shell’ by date.

  46. 46
    EeeYepBlowing Whistles says:

    The strong show in May will be a lesson to the Establishment that their stooges who have served the establishment Grandly for decades and the play acting by those useless frontiering actor / stooges – will not be tolerated by the hitherto dumbed down public any more.

    This was a public message on behalf of the Public Interest.

    n.b “Learn so lessons” – Mr and Mrs Establishment.

  47. 47
    EeeYepBlowing Whistles says:

    Where’s the Jolly Roger ensign flag as well – fucking pirates.

  48. 48
    Ockham's Razor says:

    Ah! But he has Ball’s maturity to back this up…

  49. 49
    Juthtine says:


  50. 50
    bartslartbastard says:

    Scotland will still be part of the uk.

    Northerners will also vote for him.

    Clegg will be whoring himself about.

    Lab/Lib coalition in June 2015 (they’ll ponce around for a few weeks).

    1 Jan 2020, IMF steps in as EU Tobin Tax and Ed, Ed and Nick shooting all the golden geese, means UK is officially bankrupt as interest rates reach 25%, inflation is 33% and the national debt is £3 trillion.

  51. 51
    Ockham's Razor says:

    We had the dog which bit the hand that fed it yesterday.

    This human condition is clearly highly contagious and is leaping through all the species regardless.

    Watch out for marauding newts when you next go swimming.

  52. 52
    nell says:

    truth is labour back then were puppets manipulated, paid by and bought by the unions.

    And militwit now is manipulated and bought by the union – in name lenmcclusky and unite!!

    And when militwit’s not bought and paid for by unite he’s bought and paid for by shrieking shrite, gordon old muse, of astrazeneca!!

  53. 53
    One Man One Vote says:

    ‘Against all expectations’? Er, not exactly. He was elected against all principles of democracy in a system designed to spit in the face of democrats.

  54. 54
    As I was saying says:

  55. 55
    Disgusted of Neasden says:

    Maybe Cameron should finish all his answers to Milliband with the phrase “He just doesn’t get it” – possibly alternating with “He’s totally out of touch”.

  56. 56
    David Milliband says:


  57. 57
    Ghost of Mrs Flowers says:

    Get it in you son.

  58. 58
    Banana Republic Britain says:

    Ed Kite!

  59. 59
    Nauseous of Norfolk says:

    Alternatively: “Does the f*ckwit opposite understand what I have just said?”

  60. 60
    Bonar Law says:

    No, Simon Carr, NOT “Labour spokespeople”. That’s so achingly politically correct and right-on. You mean, “Labour spokesmen” – the grammatically correct generic term.

  61. 61
    Jack Straw-mann says:

    Spit in their faces and grind them in something unpleasant.

  62. 62
    ed working class hero milliband says:

    That Hunt would never been seen dead in Doncaster, I don’t think he’s ever spent a night here.just bought a house to stand empty that one of us peasants could make use of

  63. 63
    Lenny Henry says:

    How many of these spokeswomyn are black?

  64. 64
    One dumb Nation & 3 devolved nations. says:

    Thicko Miliband thinks we are all too thick to realise he is playing us all for fools.

    State Intervention & self serving politics is the only game in town for the idiot Hunts that make up Labour.
    If Labour came to power, how many of their policies will end up in the bin?

    Labour would sell their own mothers down the river to get power. The fools who believe Labour will be the answer to their prayers are in for rude awakening.

    Labour will be battling a disappointed electorate and the unions for their whole term in power.

    I would NOT trust that shower of shite to run a tuck shop!

  65. 65
    Lord Crapulence says:

    Allowing Ed Miliband to run the country is like employing Lord Crapulence i.e. John Prescott, Diane Abbott and Tom Watson to run the nation’s sweetie shop. We will all be left wondering where all the profits have gone.

  66. 66
    jgm2 says:

    1% lead?

    I suppose it’s within the margin of error of a 2% deficit.

  67. 67
    NE Frontiersman says:

    ‘Labour would sell their own mothers down the river to get power.’

    Including going into coalition with UKIP in Norfolk to exclude the Tories. A very smart move for UKIP, but not sure where it leaves Labour’s comments about these racist reactionaries.
    There may be some amusing word-swallowing after the General Election.

  68. 68
    Derp says:

    Hey – don’t forget that everyone that has lived before 2014 that didn’t think homosexuals should marry hated homosexuals by default. Such intolerance will not be unintoleratable!

  69. 69
    Derp says:


  70. 70
    Derp says:

    Better the devil you know hasn’t twatted with the reins of power yet.

  71. 71
    Derp says:

    “Even the fool is considered wise when silent.” Proverbs 17.

  72. 72
    Major Plonquer says:

    You just don’t understand. Capitalism is when Man exploits his fellow Man. Socialism is the other way around.

  73. 73
    RightwinggitRedux says:


    Sorry, heavy lunch.

  74. 74
    Len Mclusky says:

    Which he then choose to change to try and reconnect with the Labour Vote. Talk about biting that hand that feeds, don’t worry guys I’ll take regain control when it suits me.

  75. 75
    Pinko Liberal Type says:

    What is so wrong with anyone being allowed equal rights i.e. a gay couple in love being allowed the right to display their love the same as a straight couple in love?

  76. 76
    Trolling for Points says:

    Giving the banks free reign to do what they want worked out so well…

  77. 77
    Grammar School Boy says:

    A ‘socialist intellectual’? An oxymoron, surely?

  78. 78
    Trolling for points says:

    Which is exactly what is happening at the moment, where have all the profits gone. Since Major in fact, I’ve been asking that question.

    Since Thatcher I’ve been asking where has all the industry gone.

    I’m not saying I agree with UKIP but you gotta admit there isn’t really much between them. Lest we forget though UKIP is mired in the very type of politics that we have had since 1979.

    We need a conservatism that is about empowerment and localism not siphoning that power of to big business for no profit.


    We need a socialist movement with the co-operative/partnership principle at its heart. George Osborne tried to do something along these lines, but linked it to closely for his desire to dispense with workers rights.

    What we don’t need is more the same, Tories in the pockets of Big Business at the expense of the British people. Labour trying to throw money at the problem, with the Tories Crying foul because they want to hand that money to their doners.

    Currently we have no way out of this and you guys are far to busy attacking Labour to notice your also mired in shit.

  79. 79
    Tel E. Caster says:

    Again, state control, i.e. the bail-outs was the main problem.

  80. 80
    Get real says:

    If UKIP fucks up, it will be an accident.

    The rest do it on purpose, hence they are more likely to succeed.

  81. 81
    Taxfodder says:


    Intelligence does not naturally spring from a good education…

    You either have the commonsense to deploy a good education or, you don’t…

    A good education helps…no more!

    If you are as thick as a plank no amount of teaching huffing and puffing will help you beyond a certain standard of awareness…

  82. 82
    Anonymous says:

    “What is so wrong with anyone being allowed equal rights i.e. a gay couple in love being allowed the right to display their love the same as a straight couple in love?”
    Absolutely nothing wrong- providing it excludes children, which is the
    entire premise for having marriage as a contract in the first place. By putting the most vulnerable, potentially, but indefinably at risk (children) there now needs to be more than one marriage contract, and how does one do that without infringing on somebodies ‘rights’.

  83. 83
    Anonymous says:

    Keeps the state sociologists in a job,,,trying to figure out how we could all live together as one happy family = a job for life

  84. 84
    Anonymous says:

    “I’m not saying I agree with UKIP but you gotta admit there isn’t really much between them. Lest we forget though UKIP is mired in the very type of politics that we have had since 1979.”

    Anyone who’s read UKIP policy docs could never form the impression there’s nothing much between them.

    Libertarianism is a breath of fresh air for me, it would be a great shame if people avoided voting for them because of the risk of Balls and Miliband. We need a better voting system, proportional representation and votes on major issues like tax increases

  85. 85
    GeoffM says:

    His performance on the Marr Show against Farage was dire – Beaker is evasive and robotic.

    I wouldn’t employ him to sell ice cream in a heat wave.

  86. 86
    Anonymous says:

    The labour front bench are all dire. If i have to hear one more sarcastic, nasty comment from Angela Eagles i will do something violent.She must be one of the most unpleasant MPs ever.

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Mandy’s £400,000 Tax-Free Loan From Own Company | Guardian
Why We Must Remember the Holocaust | Hugo Rifkind
“Adjustments” Not Cuts | Gary Gibbon
The New Puritans | Alex Wickham
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