May 7th, 2014

PMQs LIVE: National Interest Test Edition

Oral Questions to the Prime Minister

Q1 Mel Stride (Central Devon)

Q2 Mr Andy Slaughter (Hammersmith) 

Q3 Joan Walley (Stoke-on-Trent North) 

Q4 Margot James (Stourbridge) 

Q5 Paul Burstow (Sutton and Cheam) 

Q6 Andrew Griffiths (Burton)

Q7 David Rutley (Macclesfield) 

Q8 Iain Stewart (Milton Keynes South) 

Q9 Neil Carmichael (Stroud) 

Q10 Chris White (Warwick and Leamington) 

Q11 Mr Simon Burns (Chelmsford)

Q12 Nic Dakin (SHunthorpe) 

Q13 Zac Goldsmith (Richmond Park)

Q14 Dr Julian Huppert (Cambridge) 

Q15 Mrs Emma Lewell-Buck (South Shields) 

Comments in the comments please…


  1. 1
    God says:

    Damn the fucking lot of em

  2. 2
    Gordon Brown says:


  3. 3
    Atheist says:

    You don’t exist.

  4. 4
    Johnny Bercow the Cuckold says:

    Expect lots of interruptions and pathetic attempts at jokes from Bercow today.

  5. 5
    Pointless parliament says:

    The EU will decide

  6. 6
    Fuck all to do with us says:

    Surely we will just send £50million to Nigeria.
    Isn’t that what we usually do?

  7. 7
    Steve Miliband says:

    When’s Roger Helmet asking a question?

  8. 8
    Mark Oaten says:

    Would you like to roger my helmet?

  9. 9
    C O (Ξ7t1) says:

    Dave only cares about this as it is a non-smear distraction from UKIP.

  10. 10
    Tokenism says:

    Oh look, I’m wearing a silly badge

  11. 11
    Ed Militant says:

    I toldth the standard thath I’m an intellectual gianth. So there it’th true!

  12. 12
    Phwoooar! says:

    Penny Mordaunt looking very nice.

  13. 13
    Fishy says:

    Smug Miliband suffering from a dose of premature congratualtion

  14. 14
    Sir Nob Skelpoff says:

    I’m surprised at that no good band, A Whiter Shade of Pale was such a nice song too

  15. 15
    No impact says:

    I’m bored with Miliband’s questions already

  16. 16
    Toxic Labour for Spongers, Parasites, Criminals, Green Nazis, Peedos and other Wasters says:

    But the vile political class exist and need to be eliminated.

  17. 17
    Steve Miliband says:

    Economy, Syria, Unemployment?

  18. 18
    Brittan of Leon says:


    Goon McDoom.

  19. 19
    The Boy Milliband says:

    Any Frostie eating property buying Chinaman will be toast when I am PM.

  20. 20
    Laurie Penny says:

    Bennism? Too soon! Too soon!

  21. 21
    Ed Sillyband says:

    PM reading out Guido’s blog posts with Labour’s contradictions on rent controls.

  22. 22
    badge watch says:

    Was wondering what badge are they wearing. Must be some sort of ‘day’ is it?

  23. 23
    Anonymous says:


  24. 24
    Backbencher says:


  25. 25
    C O (Ξ7t1) says:

    Pop the housing bubble. It’s unsustainable.

  26. 26
    Miliwankstain says:

    Ed saving his other three for 2 minutes’ time?

  27. 27
    jgm2 says:

    Nice touch getting caught out by your own auto-mod there Guido.

    Q12 Nic Dakin (SHunthorpe)

  28. 28
    Death to everything is their evil mantra says:

    I never thought this would be a site that would delete comments about the violent proclivities of a certain medieval religion.

  29. 29
    Sir Nob Skelpoff says:

    Who’s that fat torpedo?

  30. 30
    jgm2 says:

    Middle Class ankle bracelets. It’s so their probation officers know where they are at any given time.

  31. 31
    Silly old Tory fucker says:

    Oh fuck Sir Les Paterson

  32. 32
    C O (Ξ7t1) says:

    UKIP smear in the House disguised as a question ?

    They are getting desperate.

  33. 33
    Damp rag & low grade bank clerk says:

    Tony Baldry. Another knob who hasn’t worked it out yet.

    Vote UKIP, get UKIP.

  34. 34
    Miliwankstain says:

    Ed’s back for three more pukes!

  35. 35
    táxpáyér says:

    Mind-bogglingly stupid teacher

  36. 36
    Gordon Brown says:

    British mobiles to be thrown at British walls!

  37. 37
    Its coming...... says:

    He hasn’t said ‘the PM just doesn’t get it’ yet…..

  38. 38
    jgm2 says:

    There are fullblown daleks wandering the streets of Crawley now.

    I had though they were only the possessions of rich arabs in London. Fuck knows which country they’re claiming asylum from.

  39. 39
    Sir Nob Skelpoff says:

    Ahh, the man who put Gordon Gekko’s head on our stamps for two bob and a balloon..

  40. 40
    Miliwankstain says:

    Have you noticed every time Cameron finishes talking, the first thing Miliband does it turn to look at Balls. It’s as though he’s looking to see his reaction as a guide to how he should react. Poor Miliband, still Blinky’s teaboy.

  41. 41
    Sir Nob Skelpoff says:

    Reference to Ed saying he was more intellectual than Cameroid

  42. 42
    C O (Ξ7t1) says:

    Good jibe from Dave, but if he was smarter he could have thought up something a bit better.

  43. 43
    Sir Nob Skelpoff says:

    Has Cameron spray tanned his bald patch?

  44. 44
    Death to everything is their evil mantra says:

    London’s littered with Batman impersonators.

  45. 45
    Sir Nob Skelpoff says:

    More fed questions….

  46. 46
    Norma Stitz says:

    Ed’s head has been very heavily crapped on.

  47. 47
    Miliwankstain says:

    Even by his low standards, that was a truly appalling performance from Miliband. Completely lacklustre and weedy.

  48. 48
    Fishy says:

    Crikey. Cameron’s angry with Milishit and he means it. About time too.

    More please.

  49. 49
    Put me off my lunch says:

    6 fat ugly Labour women on the screen at one time…is this a record?

  50. 50
    Nermal says:

    At last a fat Tory attack dog slagging off UKIP.

  51. 51
    Max C says:

    Does she give head?

  52. 52
    Ockham's Razor says:

    Should I tell him?


  53. 53
    Sir Nob Skelpoff says:

    Failed sex change?

  54. 54
    Margot James flies the rainblow flag says:

    Even the lesbians on the Tory side are better looking.

    In contrast, Angela Eagle and her death stare… :-(

  55. 55
    The BBC, because of the unique way we're funded says:

    Not by the time we’ve edited it for the news.

  56. 56
    She's so fat says:

    Emily Thornberry is 4 of them.

  57. 57
    Sir Nob Skelpoff says:

    Victims? Of Cycling?

  58. 58
    Sir Nob Skelpoff says:

    The tory women have more warts

  59. 59
    Private_Schultz says:

    Rubbish – vote UKIP get Labour and no chance of a referendum.

  60. 60
    Sir Nob Skelpoff says:

    More like Feed, clothe, arm Al Qaeda…

  61. 61
    Noooooooooooooooooooo says:

    Oh forfucksakes sakes, now we have to send more money to Syria according to Labour…

  62. 62
    Ned Ludd says:

    Amen to that, brother.

  63. 63
    ed working class hero milliband says:

    Weren’t the nazis the national SOCIALIST party and hitler karl marx fan?

  64. 64
    Damp rag & low grade bank clerk says:

    Ok. Vote LibLabCon get 5 more years of the same.

    That’s rubbish.

  65. 65
    Cherie says:

    If he was smarter he’d be a lawyer and he’d have gone from being poor to being rich instead of going from rich to middle-class.

  66. 66
    Sir Nob Skelpoff says:

    Cameroid wanted to bomb in support of the rebels ( Al Qaeda).

  67. 67
    Sir Nob Skelpoff says:

    Fed, yawn…..”I’m grateful”, complete cock waffle…

  68. 68
    Swill says:

    Dodds would be better off asking his wife to remove her EU election posters from the route of the Giro d’Italia in Northern Ireland.

  69. 69
    Ned Ludd says:

    What a crass cow.

  70. 70
    teacher watch says:

    I keep bleating about who is teaching in our schools. The links to the hard left and anarchists can be found on their facebook pages. They also use school resources for their nasty campaigns.

  71. 71

    Indeed – that’s why she’s tagged as a “mind-bogglingly stupid teacher”, I guess. God help our kids!

  72. 72
    Sir Nob Skelpoff says:

    How much fed shit is there??????

  73. 73
    Ned Ludd says:

    shame his father didn’t have two premature ejaculations. Useless twonk. He makes Foot and Kinnock look passable.

  74. 74
    Braveheart says:

    And you’d prefer to look at Cameron, Pickles, Brown, Salmond, Testicles and Chris Huhne?
    You’re a sick man. Give me Emily Thornberry and Portsmouth Penny any day.

  75. 75
    still walking into darkness says:

    no-one gives a *uck which of the liblancon alliance is nominally the Government any more old son, which is why if we have to spell it out for the nth time that UKIP is growing and growing. Only the truly stupid vote liblabcon any more.

  76. 76
    teacher watch says:

    Yes and they weren’t very capitalist, they nationalised or part nationalised all important areas of industry. It was the capitalism of the USA that beat the Nazis.

  77. 77
    Harriet'sHairPie says:

    We need more wimmin in every possible role, include fatherhood.

  78. 78
    Ned Ludd says:

    Does it matter? Just throw our money at them and stuff their hands full of postal votes.

  79. 79
    Ned Ludd says:


  80. 80
    Sir Nob Skelpoff says:

    Yet more circle jerking
    What’s the point of this shit?

  81. 81
    jgm2 says:

    It has to be a spoof. Not even a primary school teacher could be that fucking stupid.

  82. 82
    táxpáyér says:

    Somalia (so all of them have a hand inside your wallet).

  83. 83
    Sir Nob Skelpoff says:

    Who wants Vaz’s spicy mango chuntney?

  84. 84
    Fruitcake and swivel eyed loony loving the panic and utter desperation says:

    Sure sign the Tories are shitting themselves. Planted anti-UKIP question.

    Vote UKIP, get UKIP.

  85. 85

    Nope. Vote UKIP get Milliband for certain and certainly no referendum. Vote Cameron = half a chance at least. Vote UKIP enough to ensure a coalition = NO Fxxxing chance whatsoever. On the other hand, if the Scots vote for independence, maybe the rest of us will be saved?

  86. 86
    táxpáyér says:

    Is that a “cast-iron” guarantee from worthless Dave?

  87. 87
    Yes to UKIP no to traitors says:

    What a pity of he loses his seat to Labour because of people voting UKIP voting. I will not be able to sleep for a second.

  88. 88
    jgm2 says:

    You really think Cameron/Tories will give an in-out referendum?

    I have this bridge….

  89. 89
    Sir Nob Skelpoff says:

    Tractor stats

  90. 90
    Ned Ludd says:

    Feck me! That’s some recommendation.

  91. 91
    Ned Ludd says:

    It hasn’t, it’s just leaked out of his head.

  92. 92
    Sir Nob Skelpoff says:

    Look at the amount of heroin he’s protected…

  93. 93
    jgm2 says:

    I don’t understand why the daleks are claiming asylum. Surely it’s the non-daleks who are most at danger in all these shitholes?

  94. 94

    That wasn’t nice.

    But it WAS funny…….

  95. 95
    stench of hypocrisy says:

    What was Miliband’s reaction when French company
    EDF took over British nuclear power stations during
    Labour government in 2009?

  96. 96
    táxpáyér says:

    Fran Barlow

    A green and leftwing schoolteacher.


  97. 97

    Don’t forget closet rascist.

  98. 98
    Winston says:

    Thank f**k she’s a teacher in Australia. Mind you, we are churning out just as many thick, lefties, here.

  99. 99
    Fruitcake and swivel eyed loony loving the panic and utter desperation says:

    And that’s just the start Bercow.


  100. 100
    Blue Peter Goldfish says:

    Q12 Nic Dakin (SHunthorpe) , which diocese is that?.

  101. 101
    Sir Nob Skelpoff says:

    Don’t the Marixist Freedome frighters look good in suits?

  102. 102

    Stupid here.

    That still puts me ahead of you though.

  103. 103
    Fruitcake and swivel eyed loony loving the panic and utter desperation says:


    And closet racist.

    Happy now?

  104. 104
    Appalling says:

    Well said Kate Hoey.
    Shine a light on the despicable double dealing of the likes of Peter Hain with the IRA.
    Cameron of course, being a cowardly bastard, prefers to keep the deals with the terrorists under wraps.

  105. 105
    Braveheart says:

    Her Twitter page says she’s from Australia, so it’s somebody’s else’s kids you have to worry about.

  106. 106
    Sir Nob Skelpoff says:

    is that,,,, #bruce Forsyth?

  107. 107
    Observant says:

    Is he being prescribed proscribed medication for something?

  108. 108
    Sunny Jim says:

    Plenty of them waiting in the Arrivals Hall at Manchester Airport last night. Flights from assorted Middle East hellholes coming in. Bloody mobile shrouds – had to check I was in the UK…

  109. 109
    Appalling says:

    Meanwhile, at the behest of Irish Republican students at Queens University, there is a vote tonight to ban the selling of the poppy.

  110. 110
    Sir Nob Skelpoff says:

    complete shite

  111. 111
    Tim Yeo-Yo says:

    Does she teach special needs as she appears to be retarded?

  112. 112
  113. 113
    Hidden says:

    And how the fuck can they be identified by their enemies in these shithole countries?

  114. 114
    táxpáyér says:

    They’re NOT anarchists, their communists who realise that no-ones gonna take them seriously if they tell the truth.

  115. 115
    jgm2 says:

    Is it a debate? As in ‘this House will in no circumstances fight for its King and Country’.

    Kids will be kids. Leave them to it.

  116. 116
    Steve Miliband says:

    Call me stupid for not wanting Miliband as PM. Ukip will be lucky to get a handful of seats under FPP and will only let Labour win marginals. Plus they don’t seem to have any policies. call me old fashioned, but I like to know what I am voting for

  117. 117
    anon says:

    liblabcon have proved themselves to be irrelevant.

  118. 118
    jgm2 says:

    What’s wrong with being a racist?

  119. 119
    jgm2 says:

    Since a judge has ruled that Labour (and therefore, almost certainly, by extension, every other party’s) manifesto pledges are not subject to legitimate expectation then you have no idea what you’re voting for anyway.

  120. 120
    Blue Peter Goldfish says:

    Q2 Mr Andy Slaughter (Hammersmith) , give it a wide birth If I were you.

  121. 121
    broderick crawford says:

    When referring to today s soi disant “teachers ” as a collective the prefix description cited is unnecessary as it is accepted as a given for the cadre as a whole.

  122. 122
    still walking into darkness says:

    so Steve, if you need to know about policies, why would you vote Conservative?

  123. 123
    Blue Peter Goldfish says:

    Q1 Mel Stride (Central Devon).

  124. 124
    Steve Miliband says:

    I have a vague idea with the other parties. UKIP seem to have a magic money tree as big as the SNP’s and Labour’s. Apart from leaving the EU they seem to jump on more bandwagons than Miliband.

  125. 125
    broderick crawford says:

    She s got good teeth so she’ll make good physical breeding stock , but who would want the mental outlook of her progeny God only knows — possibly !

  126. 126
    broderick crawford says:

    No . He is just being PROscribed …. period ( which is what someone closely related to him claims on the occasion of his every amorous advance )

  127. 127
    Steve Miliband says:

    Conservatives have a you know, manifesto with policies. Some of them may not be great, but at least they have some. Farage delights in saying he doesn’t have one, just in case he’s changed his mind since last week

  128. 128
    Sir Bentley Pauncefoot (deceased) says:

    Since EDF employed the brother of the Prime Minister, one imagines his Energy Secretary thought the whole idea to be very splendid indeed.

  129. 129
    broderick crawford says:

    Don t mention helmets in Maxie ‘s presence … hes probably seen enough of them in the last six days . Only four more years with good behaviour … nihil desperandum !!

  130. 130
    broderick crawford says:

    Q1 Mel Stride ( Centrla Devon )

    Is that Mel Gibson spotted wearing trousers in Barnstaple?

  131. 131
    nil by mouth says:


    monica’s answering a few this a.m. on reuters

  132. 132
    jgm2 says:

    So your argument seems to be ‘Vote Conservative even though their policies aren’t worth the paper they’re written on’.

    Makes more sense to vote for UKIP. At least they haven’t wasted any paper.

  133. 133
    Vladamir Putain says:

    What would you rather have, quality drugs at competitive prices or a couple of drug companies selling drugs at inflated prices to the NHS alongside a tacit understanding to keep open one or two inefficient factories running employing people who would otherwise be unemployed ?

    This country cannot force itself to look at the issues.

  134. 134
    still walking into darkness says:

    really Stevo?, I don’t think UKIP have ever made reference to spending over and above the means of the country. If you refer to the fact that being out of the EU would save the official figure of £20bn a year in contributions, and £10 bn a year in foreign aid plus God alone knows how much in benefits to immigrants then I’d defer to your point as that really would be magic

  135. 135
    broderick crawford says:

    As “Kneel” Kinnock said before he windbagged defeat from the jaws of victory :

    ” When I get in watch your wallet !”

  136. 136
    Dr Chamberlain says:

    But we all really look forward to those Doctors and Nurses parties which the Drug Company Reps are so good at arranging.

  137. 137
    I'm cleverer than you are says:

    PMQs is becoming so divorced from reality it could be abolished and nobody would notice.

  138. 138
    broderick crawford says:

    Q2. Mr Andy Slaughter ( Hammersmith )

    Obviously well into the halal method of termination around
    the Flyover then .

  139. 139
    Nicolas Sarkozy says:

    I’m told the capitalist British & Empire & Commonwealth and the commie Russians also played a part, but I don’t believe it.

  140. 140
    jgm2 says:

    Got my postal voting stuff this morning. Since I live in the South East I actually do get to vote for Farage.

  141. 141
    Henry Crun says:

    Will we be still slowed to eat toast?

  142. 142
    broderick crawford says:


    You think we just took the girls to some neighbouring easily invadeable African backwater .

    They re in Pyongyang ….Suck on that Uncle Sam !

  143. 143
    milimong watch says:

    No it’s a skidmark from Len Mcluckie’s backside. That’s where Milimong feeds daily.

  144. 144
    Scunthorpe says:

    Is Nigeria anything to do with us, Mr Cameron?

  145. 145
    Dave Cameron says:

    Well I thought that that went well again today.

  146. 146
    Kelfieldny says:

    Somebody else’ kid that will grow up and run somebody else’s country that will be dealing with your kids or Heaven forbid, destroy them at Cricket.
    General G.S. Patton was right!

  147. 147
    Village Idiot says:

    ….Miliband is losing touch with reality,he is a fraud,as seen by his discomfort on the Marr programme,similar to when Schapps was on their sat by Sue Evans of UKIP!….
    ….I come from the seen and not heard era,the sticks and stones era,turn the other cheek,good deeds,help old ladies across the road,impeccable manners era,but never,ever did you seek praise,or blow your own trumpet!…That was for others’ to do!
    ….I think miliband has a brass neck to even think of being this country’s PM,he is not PM material,but it will not stop me from voting for the party that wants “OUT” of the EU!

  148. 148
    Wordsmith says:

    ..Nothing at all,depends on its’ modern, flexible,adjustable,meaning,as used by the left to cover all things sensible or truthful,and a curse for non-insane ,pragmatic,sensible truthful people,as dictated to by the left!…Sometimes “Lefties” see the light and the folly of their ways,often after the damage has been done,because they cannot see the future consequences of what they did!

  149. 149
    Will H says:

    Perhaps they need reminding of the many thousands of soldiers from the Irish Republic who died for the crown?

  150. 150
    Anonymous says:

    Wart do you mean?

  151. 151
    catesby says:

    Does anybody know about Scamerons failure to win the Stafford seat in ’97. A seat the Tories were confident of winning. It is now funnily enough a Tory seat. After more general underachievement his rich chums finally parachuted him into the unloseable seat of Witney. He’s led a charmed life alright.

  152. 152
    Dave T says:

    Broadfield {an area of Crawley} is almost all fuckin muzzie now mate,off plane at Gatwick and turn left.

  153. 153
    Piggy Banks says:

    But you have missed some real scum that needs cleaning up. What about the toxic big business/city class? For while Barclays’ investment bankers shared a 2013 bonus pot of £1.6 billion – up 13% from 2012 – the bank is to cut 14,000 jobs as investment bank shrinks. Go Compare!

  154. 154
    By the way says:

    What grounds have you for claiming that Hitler was a Karl Marx fan? For, as the likes of you must be fully aware, the only reason the Nazis used the word Socialist was to con the working class into supporting them – Hitler hated the reds as much as anyone on this site. For why would a ‘Socialist’ attack the USSR? That said, it does seem that you right-wingers are getting into all this revisionism stuff.

  155. 155
    By the way says:

    Honestly, do you you support remarks that Hitler and the Nazis were ‘Socialist’?

  156. 156
    Anonymous says:

    Thanks for the comment. For it, and the same old replies, highlight how unwelcome free and open debate is on his ‘freedom-loving’ site.

  157. 157
    Anonymous says:

    Boom! Boom! Boom!
    Boom! Boom! Boom!
    Boom! Boom! Boom! – and bust.
    No they don’t have a very Cunning Plan.

  158. 158
    Anonymous says:

    Yes, let’s be honest, instead of UKIP loosing all their core-supporters, should they not say: Vote UKIP – The Racist Party? They know it makes sense.

  159. 159
    Anonymous says:

    Thankfully that mistake was avoided. But to think that MSM was, at one time, getting ready to report the defeat of the Syrian government. Now MailOnline reports that, “The capture of Homs, Syria’s third largest city, is significant victory for Assad – weeks before presidential elections set for June 3.”

    How times have changed.

Seen Elsewhere

Users of Gay Hook-Up App Grindr Infected | TechnoGuido
ISIS Raising Funds Online Using Bitcoin | TechnoGuido
UKIP’s Youth Challenge | BBC
ISIS Operative: This Is How We Send Jihadis To Europe | BuzzFeed
Shapps Defends Bashir Defection | Seb Payne
Tory Leadership Contenders Jostle Over Europe | Alex Wickham
Cutting Taxes is Good For You | Art Laffer
Suspects Will Now Have to Prove Innocence | Laura Perrins
Labour Cllr: Cops Shouldn’t Stop Petrol Thieves | HandF Forum
Creeping Cultural Acceptance of Anti-Semitism | Eric Pickles
Time For Greece to Leave Eurozone | Allister Heath

Rising Stars
Find out more about PLMR AD-MS

Boris on British Jihadis. Apparently based on MI5 intel:

“If you look at all the psychological profiling about bombers, they typically will look at porn. They are literally w***ers. Severe onanists. They are tortured. They will be very badly adjusted in their relations with women, and that is a symptom of their feeling of being failures and that the world is against them. They are not making it with girls, and so they turn to other forms of spiritual comfort — which of course is no comfort.”

Tip off Guido
Web Guido's Archives

Subscribe me to:


AddThis Feed Button

Guido Reads

Get every new post delivered to your Inbox.

Join 1,717 other followers