May 7th, 2014

Crystal Methodist Pleads Guilty


  1. 1
    Ockham's Razor says:

    An almost more knowledgeable banker than Gordon Brown was a knowledgeable prime minister.

  2. 2
    Anonymous says:

    You’re a banker.

  3. 3
    Thostids says:

    Antidepressants and coke all round.

  4. 4
    Ed Balls MP says:

    Who? I’ve never met the man. Oh no, not once.

  5. 5
    Bo'ko Harem Woolwich branch SPAD says:

    Would have been more for not declaring a bit of income. Pathetic. Will the Beeboids have another sycophantic interview tonight?

  6. 6
    Rev Flowers and Coop today, Ed Balls and Britain tomorrow says:

    Labour’s senior financial entourage are exposed as drug-addled incompetents, hellbent on sabotaging banks and the wider economy.

  7. 7
    UKIP 4 ALL says:

    The BBC toady show did an interview about the CO OP this AM and somehow neglected to mention the terrible blunders and mismanagement of the new labour people at the top. If Flowers was a Tory you can bet the BBC would be flogging the story to death.

  8. 8
    Ockham's Razor says:


    In the same way that you are a toddler.

  9. 9
    Aaron D Highside says:

    Crystal Methodist next BBC Religious Programmes Director? You’re either ahead of Aaron or behind, Guido.

  10. 10
    Anonymous says:

    “Crystal Methodist Pleads Guilty”
    A charge of being an unwilling accomplice in the acquisition of insolvent companies, has presumably been deferred? For reports, to be compiled by the next party in power.

  11. 11
    Gordon McBreath says:

    That’s a lie – a damn lie!
    I was never drug addled. Only deeply medicated.

  12. 12
    Jack Ketch says:

    £525. A really severe punishment that is bound to send shock wave through young people contemplating drug use. Did the judge receive his BJ during the trial or immediately afterwards?

  13. 13
    catesby says:

    The sentence does appear to be somewhat lenient.

  14. 14
    stupid , mylord says:

    Should not the fine be proportionate and a reflection of income and assests. Did this chap claim an income of £100 a week? Better of for all, including arm chair swiffled eyes, for a community hours order.

  15. 15
    TO FAR says:

    REF. CO-OP,
    Putting socialists in charge of a bank is like using allowing arsonists to fight a fire

  16. 16
    God says:

    What, no community service??? Oh you say, he’s already done that whilst at the bank, fair enough. Oh and he’s paying the fine with some of his severance.
    No mention of the buggery then, good let’s move on.

  17. 17
    Sarah Millington says:

    But, but – I thought with the soft Newsnight interview he was innocent?

    What was Paxo playing at?

    All the money he funnelled to Labour, or had any part in funnelling to Labour, should now be returned to the Co-Op.

  18. 18
    how about says:

    Wasn’t Balls called as a character witness?

  19. 19
    Round the Bend says:

    Who is that in the background carrying the cash bag, looks like Ed Balls.

  20. 20
    Ed 'Skull Cracker' Balls, MP says:

    You ain’t seen me. Right ?

  21. 21
    TO FAR says:

    Yes, thats the £50 grand the twat gave him

  22. 22
    WoRaft Chihuahua says:

    We’ll be lucky if they don’t make him DG on the grounds that you don’t need any qualifications for that job, either.

  23. 23
    PreacherMan says:

    Twas the demon(s) inside me that did it.

  24. 24
    Mark Twain, revised says:

    There are lies, damned lies, and then there is an Ed Balls character reference.

  25. 25
    Vauxhall says:

    Skull Cracker >>> target all ukippers heading for polling stn 22/05
    Codename FISHMONGER

  26. 26
    Mark from Canada says:

    Does the payment of a fine for consuming a product constitute consumption expenditure for purposes of calculating GDP?

  27. 27
    Anonymous says:

    £500? Yeah, that’ll teach him!

  28. 28
    bartfartbastard says:

    They’re thinking of bringing in a sentence of 10 years in the nick if you drive while your disqualified.

    Stealing a bottle of water during a riot, 2 years in the nick.

    “Part-time” Judge (oh, rilly?) and barrister – fraud, perjury, contempt of court, obstructing the police, gets 16 months.

    Rev Flowers cops £525.

    See the pattern here?

    If you’re part of the establishment, they wipe your arse and give you the Benny Hill slap to the back of the head.

    If you’re against the establishment, they crush you.

  29. 29
    PD77 says:

    No wonder he pleaded guilty, with a character witness like Balls he would have been lucky not to have the library never mind the book thrown at him.

  30. 30
    i want my money back says:

    How much public money did Flowers receive for his Newsnight “interview”?
    More than £500?

  31. 31
    M says:

    Powdering your nose can be an expensive hobby ,
    To help fund these essentials and other “hobbies” go to a church run food bank , nobody checks ,

    every little helps .

  32. 32
    Blue Peter Goldfish says:

    Lol… fined £525, good job I didn’t invest in the Co-op, £5,000.000,250,000 gone missing!

  33. 33
    disenfranchised says:

    And yet despite Socialists’ incompetence, you have continued to put them in charge of a country, time after time after time.?

  34. 34
    PD77 says:

    He would have wanted “payment” up front.

  35. 35
    Mong Watch says:

    Nigeria kidnap: US and UK offer help in hunt for schoolgirls. Mongo Bruin to lead cavalry charge of the brain light brigade.

    Our girls? Auto asylum already arranged?

  36. 36
    Aardvark says:

    Please don’t sully the good name of this poor man with comparisons to the one eyed Marxist revolutionary wealth redistributor Gordon Brown.

    Chubby only wrecked a bank, Gordon took over one of the world’s greatest economies in 1997 and left it an economic ruin.

    Now that’s achievement.

  37. 37
    nell says:

    Is that it? No jail sentence? why?!

  38. 38
    Vladamir Putain says:

    Under the influence of illegal drugs whilst heading up a major UK Bank and the sentence is a fine?

    This Country is barmy: he should have received an immediate custodial sentence and a lifetime ban from public office.

  39. 39
    Midmans says:

    I doubt that very much, if it were a tory, he’d probably be protected as flowers was.
    Part of the same Cake!

  40. 40
    Skull.C says:

    Cos the fackin jails are full… thats why I daint bother returnin’
    On my feet and gone.

  41. 41
    nell says:

    What’s bullyballs going to do for money now he’s gone? He’s really going to feel labour’s cost of living crisis!

  42. 42
    Observer says:

    Why no custodial sentence?

  43. 43
    Anonymous says:

    So he was fined a monkey and a pony, both wearing red rosettes, presumably.

  44. 44
    Chris Huhne says:

    It isn’t fair that I got caught and sent to prison and I’m going to cry.

  45. 45
    nell says:

    Exactly! chrishuhne and his wife got jail sentences for hiding speeding points and this man who has seriously involved himself in d r u g s and p r o s t i t u t i o n whilst lording it over the destruction of labour’s ‘ethica’l bank is fined £500. Hardly seems justice does it?!

  46. 46
    Max Clifford: Hero of the left says:

    Labour are soon to experience a cost of living crisis, when their ‘loans’ get called in

  47. 47
    nell says:

    Well it was fair youyr were jailed but this idiot should have received an even greater jail sentence for his deeply criminal actions.

  48. 48
    Toxic Labour for Spongers, Parasites, Criminals, Green Nazis, Peedos and other Wasters says:

    Both these morons are excellent representatives of the Labour Party.

  49. 49
    Gordoom says:

    Did someone mention my name?

    I saved the world you know. And I’m off to Nigeria today to save the girls. Once I find them, and negotiate their release with those misunderstood pacifists, Procol Harum, – pacifists who, by the way, have been let down by Thatcher and her capitalist system – they’ll be safe in my hands.

    I see it now. I will return to the United Nations in New York, a hero.

  50. 50
    Ockham's Razor says:

    When I employed many people, I would often chose someone with no experience rather that another who had learned the business badly from a competitor. That way, I could train an intelligent person to do things the proper way and end up with a better result.

    That works at one level.

    But at the other end of the chain, one cannot seriously put a totally inexperienced person in as prime minister of the UK or chairman of a bank.

    The fact that, had a totally inexperienced person been made prime minister, they would probably not have made such a mess of things as Gordon Brown, does not detract from the above wisdom.

    That it can happen in each discipline (as one might now laughingly refer to them), under socialist influence, perfectly illustrates just how bankr*pt socialism is.

  51. 51
    jgm2 says:

    The Maximum Imbecile is a deluded jackass.

    I’m reminded of the time when the price of oil was going up and, with great fanfare, he piled onto a plane to go and give Johnny Arab a stiff talking to.

    Johnny Arab sent him home with a kick in the arse. ‘If you’re so fucking worried about the price of fuel then how about you stop taxing the stuff at 300% you vision-impared arsehole.’

    This will be the same. Do you think the Nigerian government is sitting there waiting for the sage advice of this fucking jackass?

    No, Mr Goodluck Johnathon, we had better not make a move finding these girls until the planets greatest economic and military tactician Gordon Brown gets here. If it’s so fucking urgent then why not phone them?


    He must have been fucking intolerable as a kid. ‘Mum, mum, mum, MUM! Look at me, I’m riding no handed, mum, mum, mum, MUM. Look at me, I dressed myself today. Mum, mumumumumum….’

  52. 52
    Mullah G Had says:

    Boko Haram is not islamic. We are outraged. Have you seen their prices?

  53. 53
    Idon'tneednodoctor says:

    Brown will always return a zero.

  54. 54
    Idon'tneednodoctor says:

    You must be Guardian journalist.

  55. 55
    jgm2 says:

    It is another tragedy that Blair didn’t manage to hang on just long enough for Brown’s economic crisis to finally catch up with him as it did in 2008. Blair could then have fired the incompetent c*unt.

    Instead of which Brown wasted another 300bn quid trying to cover up his incompetence. Still hiring and expanding the public sector using borrowed money even into polling day.

    But of course Brown knew the chickens were coming home to roost hence his hasty redefining of the ‘economic cycle’ and his increasingly frantic machinations to get himself into the only spot from where he could attempt a cover-up.

  56. 56
    Anonymous says:

    Peter Hitchens should be demanding a seven year sentence as a deterrent to potential abusers. Will he?

  57. 57
    Round the Bend says:

    I thought their hit was ‘ a whiter shade of pale’.?

  58. 58
    Aardvark says:

    Brown has the undying loyalty of the BBC and most of the media.

    He could do practically anything and not face the consequence.

    This slobbering love affair only ended when the economy started to really fall apart and even Guardianistas realised their boat would sink along with the evil business men.

    Had a Tory ruined the economy and sunk us into generational debt, no such free pass would have been issued.

  59. 59
    Ned Ludd says:

    And that’s it, is it? Five hundred quid and off you go. Sin no more. Jesus in a jump suit, this country has totally lost the plot. No wonder my divi has shit it.

  60. 60
    Fuck off Jonah says:

    The tragedy of this all, of course, is that these girls are now doomed and Goodluck’s luck has definitely run out.

  61. 61
    Dangerous Brian says:

    Back in 1974 I got 6 months in prison for possession of 1/2 an ounce of hash.
    It didn’t put me off at the time (I figure out how stupid I was a couple of years later) but in those days it was pretty hard to score in Canterbury nick, ergo no dope for 16 weeks.
    Hitchens is dead right, criminals need to be punished.
    Either legalise and deal with the consequence or apply the law correctly.
    Dopers aren’t victims, they are just selfish dimwits.

  62. 62
    Dangerous Brian says:

    Too late Mr B and Ms C have trousered it ( for their constituency coffers, of course).

  63. 63
    Dangerous Brian says:

    More like lined up against a wall (facing out, of course).

  64. 64
    Dangerous Brian says:

    Why you no listen?
    Russel Brand will tell you, ad infinitum, that taking drugs is not a crime, its a disease caused by Thatcherism.

  65. 65
    BBC junkie says:

    £525? His drugs cost more than.

  66. 66
    Reverend Divvy says:

    What is it about dysfunctionality and Rochdale?

  67. 67
    Meds in cupboard beside the needle & thread says:

    Got off lightly!

  68. 68
    dogsled says:

    So after pleading guilty to the drug charges, he is fined a total of £500 which is roughly what he paid for the meth and gak. Which is also (I’m guessing) the amount that would have paid for two of the four minders who he hired to help get him into court today.

    I’m sure he can afford them on the £510 per month that he claimed was now his only income in court……..

    So if £500 is the fine for being stoned out of your gourd in charge of a major bank, what would that get you as a motoring fine?

    That’s right folks. Cycling on the pavement….

    Seriously words fail me, absolutely fail me. What in the wide, wide world of sports has this hypocritical, patronising, self-centred, self-indulgent, weak-willed, pathetic little blubberbutt got on someone high up in the British government/Labour Party/Church/Monarchy.

    Shirley, he must have something and it must be MASSIVE. It can be the only explanation.

  69. 69
    Lezzer on Benefits says:

    No need, they are on ebay already!

  70. 70
    gildedtumbril says:

    He should be hanging from a lamp post. (finest Chinese piano wire available.)

  71. 71
    Esta says:

    hats off to the authorities

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