May 6th, 2014

Speaker Watch: MPs’ Contempt for Bercow’s ‘Advisory Council’

The Speaker’s Advisory Council on Public Engagement (est. 2010) turns out to be a real-world example of the satirical comedies Twenty Twelve and W1A.

“Stellar” professionals – Thoughtsmiths, Imagineers, Branding Experts – were called in by the Speaker on a mission to “point the House of Commons firmly towards the creation of a Parliament of the People by 2015.”

How did that go?

The minutes are published up to April of last year, under the chairmanship of Prof. Jon Drori, senior Thoughtsmith (there were two of the blighters). No one seems to know whether the Council has disbanded, gone to ground or just stopped publishing minutes.

The minutes are worth reading, as source material for a modern comedy of the higher-grade, media class riff-raff.

But for those without the time: rearrange the following words and phrases from two years of minutes, into a inspirational, innovative, mold-busting, ground-breaking, outreach strategy:

Rallying cry for change, Channel Four’s youth and diversity team, Radio 1 partnerships, fun-based events, video pieces, podcasts, written work and even art and poetry, capturing and sharing images, mumsnet, champions, permeable parliament, real momentum, mindset of experimentation, Reichstag for the people, Russell Brand, Joanna Lumley, iterate, curate, a booth, something on the scale of the Olympic Delivery Authority, on their turf, changes to the “product”, eye-catching, cross-cutting select committee co-operation, stunty, Take Your MP to Work Day, serious masterplan, like the Meltdown festival, dress-down Friday, alternative language, what real people think, and Danny Boyle.

Some of their recommendations were put in front of a couple of MPs.

The idea that they weren’t trying to engage with the public (or voters as they’re called) caused some surprise. The idea that they weren’t “in touch with” the concerns and problems of their constituents was met with hollow laughter. And the Take Your MP to Work Day (the only enduring idea of the Council) was found to be beneath articulable contempt.

But for sheer ignorant arrogance, the prize-winning sentence was: “A sub-group will meet to consider visual language and purpose of Parliament”.

That’s a bit outside the circumference of media monkeys.

The purpose of the group must have been to advise the Speaker to do what he wanted to do anyway. Did something go wrong somewhere?


  1. 1
    jimbo says:

    None of it matters.

    Read the telegraph today. 95% of people over 60 are indigenous British. In contrast over a quarter of children are non-native British. By 2050 at least 30% of the country will be non-British, and we all know the number will be higher in reality. The non-white foreigners and their descendants will then become the majority in the following decades.

    We’ve lost our country and will be a minority within the century. 1000 years of having our own island and it’s dying before out eyes. Non-British invaders going from 5% to 30% of the population within a generation or two, what conflicts and sadness lie in wait, especially the generation after that one. My grandfather died in the mud in the second world war. I can no longer think it was worth it.

    All societies die. Just as the civilisations of Ancient Athens and the Roman Empire no longer exist, so it will come to be with Britain. What a waste, destroyed by ignorant left-wingers. Freedom of speech, so much of modern science, parliamentary democracy, ending slavery, all our literature, jury trial… the value of that we gave to the world is almost incalculable. And now our destiny is to become a part of the third world. One can only hope there won’t be violence and bloodshed as those indigenous Britons descended from the men who defeated Napoleon and Hitler will perhaps want to fight-back in the street.

  2. 2
    Thick leftie wanker says:

    They’re victims! It’s all Thatcher’s fault! All they wanted to do was murder their teacher! Abolish all prisons!

    Two schoolgirls at the centre of an alleged murder plot against a teacher have been permanently excluded.

    It is understood maths teacher Alison Cray was the target of the alleged plot at Cwmcarn School, Caerphilly county.

    Gwent Police said the teenagers, aged 14 and 15, were arrested at the School on Thursday on suspicion of conspiracy to commit murder, following concerns about their behaviour.

    Both girls have been released on bail pending further inquiries until June.

    A Caerphilly council spokesman said: “Both girls were permanently excluded after the incident – they certainly won’t be returning to this school.”

  3. 3
    Ed Miliwatt says:

    I’ll never forget the first woman I made love to. I kept the receipt.

  4. 4
    Perry Neeham says:

    *Yawn* Haven’t I read this already?

  5. 5
    Stickler for relevance says:

    Wow, that outburst was going to happen, whatever the subject of the blog post!

  6. 6
    Bosun Higgs says:

    You’ve done this one.

    I’d just like to point out that my local parish church has a rather charming little monument, dated 1778, to a Mrs Wratislawia. A century later, George Eliot named one of her characters ‘Will Ladislaw’. Those pesky foreigners have been piddling in our gene pool for centuries!

  7. 7
    gormless voter says:

    the creation of a Parliament of the People by 2015.”
    Quite easy really: Get rid of the dwarf.
    Insist MP’s have honour and integrity
    (That dispenses with pretty much all the present crowd of wasters)

  8. 8
    Douze points! says:

  9. 9
    deja voo says:

    Yes….yes you have. It’s another repost shrieking desperation.

  10. 10
    David Chappell says:

    Presumably the Junior Thoughsmith concentrates on the smutty stuff

  11. 11
    Abbatoir worker says:

    ‘Take your M.P. to Work day’

    Ooooh, I like the sound of that one!

  12. 12
    deja voo says:

    Be honest…most of us fantasized about killing or shagging some of our teachers.

    Problem is our rotten, selfish culture has removed responsibility and self control so it’s going to become an outbreak.

  13. 13
    Rickytshirt says:

    Not to mention the Royals, or one G. Fawkes esq.

  14. 14
    catesby says:

    Why is being a knob the main qualification to be Speaker now? The last one was an incompetent ex-commie this one is a left-wing pretend Tory put there by ‘New’ Labour. That Yorkshirewoman who did it years ago was brilliant. Forget her name.

  15. 15
    deja voo says:

    She retained a sense of thorough self disgust and still showers twice a day.

  16. 16
    Mars Attacks says:

    Reminder to Squeeker…. Do YOUR fucking job, without grace or favour ( I know, I know… But do at least look like you’re trying) and let the others get on with theirs, as the voters will decide if they are.


  17. 17
    Fingersmith says:

    No that’s my department.

  18. 18
    deja voo says:

    Prospective partner for Russel Brand there…should produce interesting chirldren.

  19. 19
    Me says:

    … or both. And in either order.

  20. 20
    DynoRod Dave, Shitshifter to the Clergy says:

    Read it again. And this time, think.

  21. 21
    Dai Harder says:

    They’re Welsh, so probably dream of shagging sheep.

  22. 22
    Rent boy says:

    We already have this arrangement twice weekly?

  23. 23
    NeverRed says:

    So the Polish population has risen from 1 to 700.000 !

  24. 24
    DynoRod Dave, Shitshifter to the Clergy says:

    No-one is complaining about foreigners as such. It is the ones who want to destroy the culture of a thousand years who are the concern.

  25. 25
    nell says:

    Betty Boothroyd and we want her back!!

  26. 26
    nell says:

    If there is any justice at all this odious man will not be s p e a k e r post 2015!!

  27. 27
    DynoRod Dave, Shitshifter to the Clergy says:

    Don’t tell me to forget her name! Betty Boothroyd is sorely missed by everyone with a sense of decency.

  28. 28
    Speaker says:

    We need young thrusting individuals to think outside the box.
    Owen Jones for example.
    He’s young, I’ve heard thrusting and not only does he think outside the box he’s not even interested in the box doesn’t matter how well groomed it is.

  29. 29
    Rickytshirt says:

    I think Jimbo might be complaining just a little bit. What I want to know is, if he’s so bothered about foreigners per se, as he appears to be, why doesn’t he complain about it on an indigenous blog.

  30. 30
    Brittania says:

    …….Not at the rate at which labour allowed,4million or more,in no time at all,and it continues,despite promises to the contrary!….Depressing,and cam wants a happiness index,we are in permanent tolerance and acceptance mode,otherwise known as pissing all over you and rubbing your nose in it, innit!…And we have been for 50 years,same time as the dictatorship known as the EU,which I despise!

  31. 31
    Sometimes even I hate the woman says:

    I asked Mr Bercow if we could have Santiago visit to point his big black dick at me, but Harriet overruled my ‘purile’ suggestion.

  32. 32
    Anonymous says:

    fuck off.

  33. 33
    Ockham's Razor says:

    The Speaker’s report is short.

    Of any value. (Delete “‘s report” as desired.)

  34. 34
    jimbo says:

    Bosun Higgs with another weak post showing his shallow mind. Of course there have been a few non-indigenous people here throughout history, indeed far earlier than the dates you give. One of the glories of our nation is its tolerance and welcoming nature when for example someone flees persecution or perhaps an Englishman takes a non-English bride.

    Which has precisely fuck-all to do with the last few decades and twats like you deciding to bring in many millions (that’s six zeros) of third world immigrants to change this country and then telling us “oh it was always like that, a Polish man visited in the 18th century so your town suddenly becoming 50% African isn’t worth noticing”.

    Can the left really be so stupid? Or are you hoping that people are so stupid we won’t spot the difference?

  35. 35
    majorfrustration says:

    Getting back the Speaker et al – and how much did all this cost?

  36. 36
    The beard says:

    Why does this remind me of Sarah Brown?

  37. 37
    wallawall says:

    So someone wanting to preserve their culture is “shrieking” and “desperate”?

    Do you realise that the thoughts Jimbo wrote are exactly how virtually everyone in China thinks? And India? And Japan? And most of the world where a plan by governments to replace the people who live there with people from other countries would be just dismissed as madness (which it is, look at what a shit hole this country is becoming thanks to immigration).

  38. 38
    Village Idiot says:

    …..I went to Wales in the early 60,s to visit relatives,i was 10, and the welsh kids were what we now know as, racist, bullying and spiteful to the little English boy (me)….but, I did not tell anyone and got on with life,and it did not affect me in any way whatsoever,just part of lifes experiences!
    When I was older and a Hippy with long hair,the police would stop and search all the time in 1970,but they failed to knobble me,but it did not affect me in any way,nor did I despise the police!

  39. 39
    A Reader says:

    Remind Bercow that we have not forgotten the holocaust, and he should adjust his attitude accordingly, or else. :-)

  40. 40
    still, it could be worse says:

  41. 41
    panini watch. says:

    the tail is on the balloon.
    tell tale is a sign.
    virgin is in the post.
    an interruption is a sign of life. so why interrupt a good story. “my value is good”. should we kill time or kill time. let go of the week. rolling hills are a gonna, it will be cemented over. no fr. no one wants to know about the past.

  42. 42
    Dave says:

    That’s why we need lots of white people from Europe to move to Britain.

  43. 43
    C.O.Jones says:

    It seems that even Cameron is now calling for the Chilcot Inquiry to be released.

  44. 44
    Class war says:

    I had a similar experience as a “posh” boy visiting relatives in the North-East during the 60s. I got my revenge though – I voted for Thatcher.

  45. 45
    UKIP 4 ALL says:

    “Stellar professionals – Thoughtsmiths, Imagineers, Branding Experts – were called in by the Speaker on a mission”

    Anyone who uses those terms without taking the piss out of them does not deserve to waste the same oxygen as normal people.

    If one sentence of words perfectly encapsulates why these people need sweeping away in 2015 the one by Mr Squeaker must come top of the list.

  46. 46
    C.O.Jones says:

    I would love to work as a Thinkmonger or Imaginewright or even a Brochuresmith.

  47. 47
    Hoddy says:

    I assume you’re a genuine woad wearing pict? Not a Roman, Viking, Norman, Hugenot or from any of the other diaspora which have made this country what it is?

    And those three lions on your shirt? THEY never grew in England’s dirt…

    [Yes – I’m calling you a small minded cretin – hope that got through!]

  48. 48
    Anonymous says:

    George Thomas and Bernard Weatherill before her were also both highly regarded.

  49. 49
    Dangerous Brian says:

    He’s interested in the dirt box!

  50. 50
    Fucking dis custard says:

    I don’t care anymore

  51. 51
    Fucking dis custard says:

    How much was it? 1/6d

  52. 52
    Do me another says:

    Always thought the speaker of the HOC was supposed to be an individual, without malice and bias and supposed to be like a judge, incorruptible, why haven’t we got a speaker like that and why is this person allowed to spend taxpayers money on anything, he’s only supposed to be the speaker of the HOC, time he was pushed sideways or sacked.

  53. 53
    Penfold says:

    Bercow is a complete and utter prick. It really is time for this utterly useless turd to go.

  54. 54
    Cynic2 says:

    “Always thought the speaker of the HOC was supposed to be an individual, without malice and bias and supposed to be like a judge, incorruptible,”


  55. 55
    broderick crawford says:

    Why has Burk-oh got what appears to be a bazooka aimed at his left temple and why is he wearing earphones.?

    ( I’ll need to lay off the hand shandies , they re ruining my eyesight )

  56. 56
    Anon & Voting for UKIP ORG says:

    Hung, Drawn & then Quartered will be really appreciated by

    most people…!!!

  57. 57
    Dangerous Brian says:

    Good luck with that one then.

  58. 58
    PDubya says:

    Sounds cheap for a swedish rubber bedmate!

  59. 59
    Mark Worthless says:

    And it means nothing to you? Prat

  60. 60
    broderick crawford says:

    If you go to Tooting Broadway everything costs one pound .

    I ve just been .

    A single tissue cists one pound . A ready meal costs obe pound .

    A television set ( provenance unknown ) costs one pound and so on .

    From each what he can contribute to each what may be his needs ( as long as all cost one pound ).

    That s multiculturalism for you .

    ( oh .. and there s a flat tax rate of 10 percent … based on maximum yearly income of …. one pound ).

  61. 61
    EmPee says:

    The Speaker is a twat…………..sherry nurse, sherry!!!

  62. 62
    broderick crawford says:

    Permanently excluded . Excellent .

    Next step if convicted : at Her Majesty s “Leisure” at Surrey Borders Landscaped Open Prison with full sauna /massage /wellbeing /lifestyle facilities ……. plus OF COURSE ….unlimited weekend parole and annual Summer , Easter and Christmas vacation furlough .

    ( shhhh … it s not been officially announced yet and the whole thing us still sub judice !!)

  63. 63
    broderick crawford says:

    Yeah !! …. but it wasn t for just a ” short time ” She allowed me to wash my thigh down afterwards !!

  64. 64
    jimbo says:

    I read it but your message was rather spoilt by your ignorance. The groups you mentioned apart from the hugenot came to these islands over 1000 yers ago and contributed to forming the english nation.

    That has nothing at all to do with the last few decades of bringing in people from the thrid world, -as you know.

    Your attempt to appear clever has rather backfired.

  65. 65
    Den Kod says:

    Mr Squeeker has one for himself: Wankstainmonger.

  66. 66
    Rascal Flattley says:

    Betty Boothroid was the last great speaker, and although that is only my opinion, generally I hate anything remotely Labour, just to keep my eye in.

  67. 67
    Rascal Flattley says:


  68. 68
    henrywood says:

    Thanks for the heads-up about the Telegraph article and may I congratulate you on apparently being absolutely right regarding the changes to come in this country.

    How do I know you are right? I have just listened to BBC R4 “PM” programme and they have “digested” the same article and they reckon that the Britain of 2050 will be so “fantastic”, where everyone will be so “comfortable” and really, as one person on the programme said, “You will not see very much difference to the way the country seems to be today.”

    And did you know, another commentator on the programme explained, “Well, the BBC is going to make a remake of ‘Dad’s Army’ so that makes everything OK, especially as we are *ALL* minorities now and we all just have to wake up and accept that.” !!!

    So, when BBC R4 “PM” programme says “everything is alright”, I know fine well that they are wrong and “jimbo” is right.

  69. 69
    citizenx99 says:

    At any point, did he consider asking the people themselves?

  70. 70
    ned ludd says:

    There was a teacher at our school I would have like to have shagged to death.

  71. 71
    Jethro says:

    In earlier times, each Parish had its ‘Ale-Puddler’, who wore leather breeches, a puddle of ale was poured on to a bench, he sat in it: if his breeches stuck, it showed there were what the Brewers now blithely call ‘adjuncts’ – anything cheaper than Malt (American ‘Budweiser’ contains rice, and most factory-breweries now use sugar, with burnt sugar to add colouring, liquorice to sweeten, and detergent to mimic malt’s foam…).
    In even earlier times, in order to ascertain that a potential Bishop of Rome was not ‘smitten in the stones’, he had to be sat in a kind of commode, so that a Curial Officer (‘Pope-groper?’) could ascertain the fact, the cry,’Testiculos habet’ having to be heard before ever the cry ‘Habemus Papam’ might be heard.
    Perhaps something similar could be arranged now for potential Speakers, in order to discover from which orifice he spoke.
    Just a thought.
    Perhaps Mark Oaten might be induced to frame the ‘job-description’ (I use the word ‘job’ in no vernacular sense.)

  72. 72
    Jethro says:

    … Mr. Gwynne will rag me to death! Fancy having a plural Noun (‘Speakers’) in one Clause, with a Singular Pronoun (‘his’) in the next!

  73. 73
    Chris says:

    Fuck off.

  74. 74
    olden1936 says:

    I wish that all non-white street singers, and all would-be non-white white street singers, would all cease to incoherently mumble their street poetry lyrics.

  75. 75
    stushie says:

    Bring in the Aussie points system NOW. No essential skills? Do not pass go. BYE BYE.

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