Parliamentary researchers have reacted with derision to John Bercow’s new sexual harassment hotline, which doesn’t even mention sexual harassment. The service, outsourced to Health Assured, offers support for all the problems you might expect except the one it they were brought in to deal with – MPs touching up their staff. Guido would advise any researchers lacking confidence in the new hotline to give us a call instead…

Meanwhile MPs are accusing Bercow of hypocrisy. One tells Guido the Speaker “regularly loses it” himself and has “temper tantrums”, recalling Bercow launching a “bonkers” four-letter tirade towards Sir Ian Kennedy, chairman of the MPs’ expenses watchdog, at an event he was hosting in Parliament. Guests were left “gobsmacked” after Bercow told Kennedy to “f*** off”. Who’ll police Parliament’s self-appointed policeman?