May 6th, 2014

Bercow’s New Staff Helpline Doesn’t Mention Sexual Harassment
Speaker Accused of “Hypocrisy” After Telling Guest to “F**k Off”

Parliamentary researchers have reacted with derision to John Bercow’s new sexual harassment hotline, which doesn’t even mention sexual harassment. The service, outsourced to Health Assured, offers support for all the problems you might expect except the one it they were brought in to deal with – MPs touching up their staff. Guido would advise any researchers lacking confidence in the new hotline to give us a call instead…

Meanwhile MPs are accusing Bercow of hypocrisy. One tells Guido the Speaker “regularly loses it” himself and has “temper tantrums”, recalling Bercow launching a “bonkers” four-letter tirade towards Sir Ian Kennedy, chairman of the MPs’ expenses watchdog, at an event he was hosting in Parliament. Guests were left “gobsmacked” after Bercow told Kennedy to “f*** off”. Who’ll police Parliament’s self-appointed policeman?


  1. 1
    Spartacus says:

    No ukip smear??

  2. 2

    Bercow doesn’t utter a word, polite or otherwise, that isn’t about boosting his own ego. He’ll say women MPs are reluctant to engage in PMQT, but he won’t deliver a short sharp shock to the swaggerers and farmyard chorus he claims are responsible for this.

    As awful as he is, he represents this shower of weirdos perfectly, though.

  3. 3
    John Bercow says:

    Look, given I call out my own name when having a shag wank, do you seriously think I consider anybody else?

  4. 4
    Glott Allstop says:

    When the Speaker becomes the news there’s a problem. His job is to facilitate parliamentary debate rather than become The Story.

    He’s beginning to make Gorbals Mick look good.

  5. 5
    Hate filled, racist, misogonistic, deranged, psychotic and lazy, troughing UKIP candidate says:

    Fucking shit,,,where do these people come from?

    I bet you a fucking pound to a penny it’s not the Home counties

    This un-Home counties behaviour makes me froth at the mouth

  6. 6
    His wife says:

    He makes my skin crawl.

  7. 7
    frenchjohn says:

    Perhaps being married to the Westminster Tart has made him into such an obnoxioux little dwarf. Then again, he was probably born that way. Medical term, is I believe ‘A little twat’

  8. 8
    Old Nick Heavenly (alive and kikin) says:

    Nigel is incintinent and has to wear adult nappies!!!!!!!

    Will that suit you?

    Happy now?

  9. 9
    Hamish Macbeth says:

    Small man syndrome ?

  10. 10
    Hate filled, racist, misogonistic, deranged, psychotic and lazy, troughing UKIP candidate says:

    Voye UKIP……we needs a great leader of vision and clarity like wot Ed is.

    Only Marxism dressed up with a semi human face can save the anglo saxon community of the Home counties from the inevitable economic collapse wots coming

    Vote UKIP!……or Labour!!!

  11. 11
    Old Nick Heavenly (alive and kikin) says:

    incontinent even!

    Well he certanly earns his millions on the continent

  12. 12
    lescrompsblogg says:

    Think Bercow might have “Family Problems” #inocentface

  13. 13
    Cynic2 says:

    Can sally use the Alcohol helpline

  14. 14
    Old Nick Heavenly (alive and kikin) says:

    semi human???????
    Ed is an alien;

    Send him back to wherever.

  15. 15
    Gary Bloke says:

    Guido asks: “Who’ll police Parliament’s self-appointed policeman?”. It will be the electors of Buckingham at the next general election, I hope.

  16. 16
    'Allo 'Allo says:

    Gid moaning!

  17. 17
    Deaf as a post..... says:

    Radio 4 has a weekly programme about how angry incontinence can make you.

    It’s called Cross Incontinents.

  18. 18
    Gladys from number 63 says:

    Hello dear, is your ‘name’ ironic? It does seem so as you seem to be the one full of hate, listing such vile words.

    I hope you feel better soon, dear.

  19. 19
    Rolfe-a-roo says:

    I am in distress

  20. 20
    Ghost of J.S says:

    Now then, now then…

  21. 21
    Gladys from number 63 says:

    Please calm down dear, you’re getting rather scary.

  22. 22
    John Bercow says:

    Fuck off.

  23. 23
    Zod says:

    Ed’s only here because he’s banished from his own planet.

    But Ladbrokes won’t pay out because you have to prove there is INTELLIGENT life on other planets to win the bet…..

  24. 24
    Maoist Informer at the BBC says:

    Clarkson had to be exposed for expressing “counter revolutionary” views.

    I am there to watch over him, and you. Nothing is private.

    Long live the permanent revolution.

  25. 25
    John Bercow says:

    I am going to put my built up foot down over this blog sites petty tittle tattle.

  26. 26
    The Growler says:

    Ooooh, look Geedes little Johnny Bercow is blowing you a big sloppy kiss

  27. 27
    Anonymous says:

    Indeed a little wazzock!

  28. 28
    Not in my name says:

    The Poison Dwarf seems ……stressed….

  29. 29
    The two Muppets says:

    Bercow has small man syndrome . He really is an obnoxious hypocritical prat.
    He is an even worse Speaker than Gorbals Mick. He and his fragrant wife
    have trashed the office of Speaker of The House of Commons .

  30. 30
    Spolit4choice says:

    We’ve got a local candidate by us, who was once a labour councillor, then a libdem councillor, now they’re UKIP.

  31. 31
    Mott the Hoople says:

    Violence, violence
    it’s the only thing
    that’ll make him see sense

  32. 32
    Blue Peter Goldfish says:

    Has Andy Burnham contacted Health Assured?.

  33. 33
    Gorbals Mick says:


  34. 34
    non taxable pikey says:

    Kennedy can think Bercow under the table although personally I would have just taken him somewhere quiet and belted the little shit.

  35. 35
    Scott of the Arse Antics. says:

    Not, ‘self appointed’, but appointed by all the other throughers and spivs to ‘police them.

  36. 36
    Nigel "I'll say anything if it'll get me coverage" Farage speaking there says:

    Got to admit after yesterday’s performance – I think Ronnie O’Sullivan is past his Selby date.

  37. 37
    Tom Catesby. says:

    I wish I was in continent, somewhere near Arle or Albi would do very nicely thank you.

  38. 38
    ed milliband peoples representitive of doncaster says:

    it’s early in the day yet

  39. 39
    Tom Catesby. says:

    Think there’s an ‘S’ at the end of Arles, shall I go and take a look?

  40. 40
    Bottom of the barrel says:

    Any political party which will take a LibDem on board has lost my vote. FFS !!!

  41. 41
    He's a cuckolded cunt says:

    How much more does this piece of shit have to do before he’s ousted? Come on, Cameron, man up and get this c-unt kicked out!

  42. 42
    Duty Pędant says:

    Didnt you mean Death Assured?

  43. 43
    Eazy E says:

  44. 44
    Blue Peter Goldfish says:

    Counseling on drugs & alcohol, gambling, domestic abuse, family issues, debt…. they have certainly got your average MP summed up.

  45. 45
    The Growler says:

    Trollers, Little Johnny was and is an MP who used to hoot and bellow with the rest of them, if the little fella really wanted to stop the row he has the power to adjourn debates, in the same way as a judge in a court, until the little darlings come to their senses and calm down, the speaker is supposed to be non allied politically in his job.

  46. 46
    Tom Catesby. says:

    Anybody else hear the latest assessment of national demographic character by 2050, on Radio4 this morning? 50% non-native (aka white British) population. Taken over without a shot being fired, Hitler couldn’t have made it up!

  47. 47
    The Growler says:

    A little Berc?

  48. 48
    shortarse says:

    My missus tells me to fuck off all the time, why can’t I do the same to everybody else?

  49. 49
    Tom Catesby. says:

    The report also highlighted that, other ‘ethnic groupings’ are breeding at a rate of knots, white population, ‘remains static’.

  50. 50
    Anon & Voting for UKIP ORG says:

    Sounds like there is another DESELECTION procedure that is about or
    has already been started in Buckingham where this jumped up little
    creep, who’s main attribute is being a bad tempered fcuking bully,
    is there so called MP, who must be booted out before 2015 GE.

    UK Voters will be pleased learn he is about to get his overdue
    comeuppance along with his attention seeking wife with her
    unacceptable behaviour in public, images of which are all over the
    MSM & around the world, which we will not tolerate any longer !!

    Vote UKIP & take OUR country back from these purveyors of there
    very debauched lifestyle riddled with mendacity & manipulation & ALL
    at OUR expense ! Who believe they are accountable to no one because
    they have divine right hand down from on high to them alone, to rule US
    and of course all for there own fiscal benefit at every opportunity to
    purloin from the public purse & within the rules which they have written.

    Its time for real change not more of the same from the
    Cons*LieLabor*LebDims anti-Democracy Alliance…..

    Vote UKIP…..

  51. 51
    The Growler says:

    Have a care it might be The Skull Crusher!!

  52. 52
    Ed MilliBanned says:

  53. 53
    MB. says:

    My employer contracted out to an outside company for a help and advice line. A colleague rang it once and it was completely useless. They might seeem expensive but it is just a way of avoiding having a proper personnel department that would deal with things like that in the past.

    I am sure those paying for the service know it is useless but it is purely cosmetic.

  54. 54
    The Growler says:

    Don’t worry you now have a right Hunt in charge now, look how well things are going in the health sector

  55. 55
    Anonymous says:

    Would his wife even have noticed.

  56. 56
    Blue Peter Goldfish says:

    I must say that I am extremely worried about the Frosty report, when is it due?.

  57. 57
    Jack Dromey says:

    I like Coco Pops.

  58. 58
    The Growler says:

    You are only saying that because he is little fella, now if it was the biggest belligerent person in the HoC, you wouldn’t say boo to them, maybe get your gang of thuggies to sort him out.

  59. 59
    HMP-leisure says:

    If the skull crusher kills strikes again, we may have to consider tagging him.

  60. 60
    Screwed Taxpayer says:

    Yet more fucking ConLibLabber waste.

    Anybody stupid enough to work in Westminster has just got to put up with all the groping thieving gay loving bastards. Everyone knows what the cess pit is like.

  61. 61
    sally up an alley says:

    ……like Johnny’s cock.

  62. 62
    Blue Peter Goldfish says:

    Not within the inquiry remit (Lord & Lady Weetabix).

  63. 63
    Raving Loon says:

    Meat is only for the inner party, the proles can sustain themselves on lentils and tofu.

  64. 64
    They're grrrrrrrrrrreat! says:

  65. 65
    Mines-a-treble says:

    All such “Services” are useless. I remember several years back, my doctor suggested that I attend an Alcoholic abuse centre. Got there, told them about my drinking prob – and was told by staff, I was too analytical about my excess drinking habits. And that was that.

  66. 66
  67. 67
    Sally says:

    Leave him alone. PMQs is the one time Johnny gets to be in charge. At home, he’s a cuckold who stays home to play househusband while I’m out getting shitfaced and shagging random black men.

  68. 68
    Efnik says:

    Fink of da Cash.
    If whitey wanna fel ma black arse n ballsac, dat okay, as me money from dem

  69. 69
    Squeaker Bercow says:

    The worst thing about this skullcracker guy being on the loose is I need to find a new nickname for my penis.

  70. 70
    Anonymous says:

    “Parliamentary researchers have reacted with derision to John Bercow’s new sexual harassment hotline”
    Perhaps they see it as an extension of the urinating inside/outside tents metaphor. In that complaints are more readily ‘dealt with’, if they don’t find their way out though a flap.

  71. 71
    nell says:

    Let’s hope bercow’s tenure now is a short one terminating in 2015. We desperately need a credible s p e a k e r , someone like Betty Boothroyd who can restore some dignity and trust to this ancient office that first martin and now bercow have trashed and brought into disrepute.

  72. 72
    Poundland says:

    Can you tell Mr Brown we’ve run out of our £1 calculators and perhaps in future he shouldn’t throw them against walls.

  73. 73
    Jethro says:

    … I thought that was Perry Grayson’s line…

  74. 74
    Min Clifford says:

    See you soon!

  75. 75
    Norm Normal says:

    If you look at cereal market research there is already a consumer move to healthier options. Poridge oats have seen a 15% rise in value market share.

    Manufacturers own research data shows this is because consumers see it as healthier and less processed.

    So why the need for legislation? Unless it’s the old labour trick of appearing to have achieved something when someone else did it or it happened by itself?

  76. 76
    Rob says:

    Labour put him there.

  77. 77
    Norm Normal says:

    Well you didn’t expect them to use democratic means and campaign, vote etc.

    The loonatic left don’t think democracy works. That’s why they bully and intimidate. See Ed Militant’s latest policy!

  78. 78
    Mandingo says:

    For real.

  79. 79
    still, it could be worse says:

    what concerns me is the dwarf running around the globe as a self appointed representative of UK democracy

  80. 80
    What happened to Britain says:

    ……Whose idea was it? Why did British politicians deliberately do this to this country?..Has the experiment worked?…Is the country nicer than it was in the 50,s?..What was the idea behind the invasion?….Why,why, why,please tell me?

  81. 81
    Roger Mellie says:

    Good evening
    and bollocks

  82. 82
    What happened to Britain says:

    ……”Here, here, utter disgrace,laughing stock,demeaning the high office of speaker,embarressment ,but just one of the things wrong with Britain!

  83. 83
    Rotherhampoofta says:

    Horrible little man!

  84. 84
    Gorbells Mick says:

    ….Aye,laddie,have some more expenses,you,re entitled to it and we can drain the English treasury; form an orderly queue,wisteria,wots that laddie,orduur,please do not investigate my part in the expenses,it could be uncomfortable,but there must be some cripples fiddling,look at them!

  85. 85
    Common Sense says:

    …..These NHS Direct or whatever it is called,seem a waste of good nhs staff,who could be better employed treating people instead of manning,….oops….womanning a phone line!….Better to phone your own GP practice,or ,if an emergency,casualty!…It is an absurd way to do diagnosis,creating more problems than it solves!

  86. 86
    Iain says:

    I say we should have Jeremy Clarkson for speaker and also to replace Paxman on newsnight. We need people qualified to do these jobs.

  87. 87
    Jack ketch says:

    Really interesting is the claim that “minorities” already make up 50% of the population of some areas. 50% is a minority?

  88. 88
    John Bellingham says:

    Ordure! Ordure!

  89. 89
    John Bellingham says:

    Paxman head of the public accounts committee, Clarkson Minister of Transport, Andy McNab Minister of Justice, Richard Branson as Business Secretary, Stephen Fry as Homo Secretary, Bernie Ecclestone as Chancellor of the Exchequer, Lenny Henry as special envoy to Nigeria, Farage as Foreign Secretary and Boris, of course as Prime Minister. Not only will all problems be solved, but we can all have a jolly good laugh as well.

  90. 90
    The ayes have it says:

    Time for the Speaker to go – immediately. His behaviou and conduct is unprofessional and an insult to the UK.

  91. 91
  92. 92
    broderick crawford says:

    Born wrong side of the blanket (?)

    Father Dr Ralph …… Spock (?)

  93. 93
    broderick crawford says:


    Cry me a river …..

  94. 94
    broderick crawford says:

    …….. and that s just Larry the Cat !

  95. 95
    broderick crawford says:

    Is Chicory good for you ?

    I don t mean the raw plant but the regurgitised powder one can buy cheaply in lieu of instant coffee granukes.

    BTW — Is “Camp” Coffe Liquid still on general sale these days in those peculiar bottles …. or is it restricted to those who have just been outed ?

  96. 96
    broderick crawford says:

    No …I ‘ ll trll you the only guaranteed method to get immmediate medical attention .

    Turn up at A & E ( if it s still open ) and pretend you have fainted at Reception.

  97. 97
    broderick crawford says:


    As my manager keeps telling the press

    ” He ‘s goin’ nowhere!”
    I don t rightly know whether to take that as a testament to my indispensability or as a rather longer term observation about my future career prospects ….

  98. 98
    Rob says:

    I love Bercow. I’d make him dictator for life – purely on the grounds that he drives so many wingnuts up the wall.

Seen Elsewhere

Javid: Let Tories Campaign For Out Vote | House
Ministry of Justice Loses Death Inquiry Data “In the Post” | TechnoGuido
Europe’s Crisis is Cameron’s Opportunity | Speccie
Sajid Javid is the Ultimate Thatcherite | Buzzfeed
Ed Argar Selected in Dorrell Seat | Leicester Mercury
88% of New Labour MPs Are Union Bods | Mark Wallace
Massively Popular Porn Site is Infecting Users | Techno Guido
Newspapers No Longer Willing to Toe Party Line | Roy Greenslade
Introducing the New CapX | CapX
Burnham’s Newsnight Debacle Dissected | Dan Hodges
How I Survived Dry January | Nigel Farage

Rising Stars
Find out more about PLMR AD-MS

Dan Hodges on Labour unity

“We’ve heard a lot over the past few years about how Miliband has united Labour. But he has not united Labour. He has pacified Labour. He has placed it into a medically induced coma following the trauma of the party’s 2010 defeat.”

Tip off Guido
Web Guido's Archives

Subscribe me to:


AddThis Feed Button

Guido Reads

Get every new post delivered to your Inbox.

Join 1,716 other followers