May 3rd, 2014

Saturday Seven Up

With parliament returning this week 120,523 visitors visited 359,481 times viewing 642,185 pages. The top stories in order of popularity were:

You’re either in front of Guido, or behind…


  1. 1
    Ellie-Mae (9) says:

    Come on, get up you lazy scrotes!

  2. 2
    Guido Fawkes says:

    Has anyone got Max Clifford’s mobile number please ?

  3. 3

    Seen it, going back to bed!!

  4. 4
    Ellie-Mae (9) says:

    You are meant to jump gaily out of bed while singing it, now get up else I send Polly Toynbee round.

  5. 5
    Mr Mackay says:

    I cannae stand to see a grown man greetin’ like a wean!

  6. 6
    Mine d'Boggles says:

    Glad to read in the Telegraph this morning that the number of millionaires has recently increased.

    My grandfather was even richer: a multi-gazillionaire who needed a wheelbarrow to carry all the paper money required to buy a loaf of bread.

    Keep it up Osborne ….. you’ll get there. Fame at last.

  7. 7
    Anonymous says:

    You shouldn’t do the music weirdo.

  8. 8
    Nigel "I'll say anything if it'll get me coverage" Farage speaking there says:

    Fuck the West, Russia needs to go into Ukraine and protect people.

  9. 9
    Genghiz the kahn says:

    So when is Harman going to get the Thought Police to haul Clarkson off to The Court of Public Opinion for a trial before a People’s Judge?

    Anybody who uses the N-word in public or private in whatever context has no place in the British Broadcasting Corporation.— Harriet Harman (@HarrietHarman) May 2, 2014

  10. 10
    C.O.Jones says:

    One person responds with the comment

    “but promoting sex with kids is nothing to apologise for? Right?”

  11. 11
    Genghiz the kahn says:

    Denham is a non person, he has been wiping off references to his expenses, he is a slimy piece of human excrement, he is a revisionist running dog who failed to understand Ed’s great vision…he will repent, he will confess his thought crimes…

  12. 12
    Free the Max One says:

    Name the slags.

  13. 13
    Anonymous says:

    There is no place in Britain for Harriet Harman.

  14. 14
    Axe The Telly Tax & Religion & Kill All Eco-loons says:

    The YES campaign in Scotland just need to bang on, day in day out, between now and September, that an independent Scotland will never have to suffer rule by a Tory government from London (Thatcher 80s,Cameron today) that a majority of Scots didn’t vote for and they’ll win the referendum with a landslide.

    The NO camp can’t promise no more Tory rule for Scotland, only the YES to independence camp can.


  15. 15
    Axe The Telly Tax & Religion & Kill All Eco-loons says:

    There’s no place for a BBC funded by threat of fines/imprisonment.

    Sell off the BBC’s TV/radio frequencies to the highest bidder :-)

  16. 16
    Socialism is theft says:

    Maybe the EU will send it’s army (that Nick Clegg swears it hasn’t got) in? How else is it going to expand it’s evil empire?

  17. 17
    Socialism is theft says:

    And when we have got rid of the racist Scots we can get shut of the socialist Welsh fuckers as well.

  18. 18
    Toxic Labour for Spongers, Parasites, Criminals, Green Nazis, Peedos and other Wasters says:

    I hope Scotland vote for freedom, we can get the freeloading, lazy Scots off our tax and improve our own wealth.

  19. 19
    Harriet can't abbreviate anymore says:

    I note she was careful to avoid typing ‘bbc’, lest her husband got some ideas again.

  20. 20
    Village Idiot says:

    ……I had to swat away some fruit flies while I was watching that! ……MANGO!!

  21. 21
    Anonymous says:

    Public Enemy will be banned from Britain.

  22. 22
    Anonymous says:

    #AreYouThinkingWhatI’mThinking #UsefulIdiot

  23. 23
    C O (Ξ7r1) says:

    Ed borrows phone from ethnic to prove the success of equality policies.

  24. 24
    Maria Miller says:

    Niggaz With Attitude (NWA) are a racist band and Ice Cube should be retrospectively arrested and chided by a panel of Cultural Marxists.

  25. 25
    C O (Ξ7r1) says:

    Then why is the sanctimonious nonce bitch drawing attention to it.

    Is it because her ‘husband’ prefers sucking that brand of cock to servicing with her rancid pussy ? Fuck her to the same hole that Clifford has been consigned.

  26. 26
    Inspector General says:

    So Harriet Harman is criticising Clarkson for using an offensive word. Case of pot calling the kettle black, Hattie?

  27. 27
    Mine d'Boggles says:

    Look at Ed’s left hand: see the tension? He must be getting some seriously bad news over the phone. Staring eyes. Come on Ed, tell us what’s bothering you?

  28. 28
    The Grim Reaper says:

    The extraordinary brass necked cheek of Harman attacking Clarkson over the “n” word. Offensive it may be but with her fingers in the PIE, this vile woman would be better advised to shut the f*ck up.

    And despite her history, still Labour’s Deputy Leader.

  29. 29
    C O (Ξ7r1) says:

    He is watching powerless as history stands over his fathers grave and unzips its fly. He knows what is coming next.

  30. 30
    Max Clifford's tiny cock says:

    He has a number, but it ain’t for his phone…

  31. 31
    Nigel Farage says:

    Three big reasons you need to vote Conservative on 22nd May

  32. 32
    E Wing says:

    That number is temporarily out of order.

    Try 020 8588 4000

  33. 33
    C O (Ξ7r1) says:

    She is a subversive c’unt who should have been taken out of public life years ago.

    This is what happens when sub-par lefty ‘Thatcher wannabee’ feminists realize they have penis envy of their partners preferred sexual partners.

    She should stop projecting, seek marriage counselling, and just fuck off – or perhaps hang out with S’ally B’ercow for a bit who could show her what gets Dromey off.

  34. 34
    Mine d'Boggles says:

    Golden rain is NOT only a type of firework. Mind you, it could be worse – the traffic wardens in the Gloucester Road can be truly evil with their tickets and have no respect for anyone.

  35. 35
    Calling Planet Zog says:

    Ed pretends to have important conversation in order to avoid talking to other human beings.

  36. 36
    Axe The Telly Tax & Religion & Kill All Eco-loons says:

    He’s just got the news that the Scots voted 80% to 20% for independence and no more Tory rule from London ever again :-)

  37. 37
    Caption says:

    Asian guy thinks he’s finally made it, but Ed ignores him.

  38. 38
    non taxable pikey says:

    I consign such begging letters to the dustbin of history.

  39. 39
    give £3/month for ummm...Cheers easy... says:

    F@#$ off!

  40. 40
    Nairn says:

    Scots will be a freer people in their day to day lives by remaining in the Union than choosing to live in an undiluted Soviet-style republic of mediocrity.

  41. 41
    Hugh Janus says:

    + zillions

    And get the Scottish MPs out of the H of C, thus solving the West Lothian question once and for all. The Scottish vote for freedom will be ours as well.

  42. 42
    The future says:

    Conservative? Ah yes, I remember them, they were part of the old LibLabCon party weren’t they? All consigned to the dustbin of history.

  43. 43
    albacore says:

    Ain’t “niger” just the Latin for black?
    What’s coming next – does he get the sack
    A teacher speaking the declension
    Plus the forfeiture of his pension?

  44. 44
    C O (Ξ7r1) says:

    Am not sure that look and pose is saying: Just got news I have a parking ticket, bastards.

    Most of it is the trademark standard awkward pose the Ed adopts in the presence of cameras, a photographic palsy of sorts which is a genetic trait of the Miliband clan.

    Miliband’s fist has that ‘I’ve just snapped a pencil’ feel about it, a new more violent poise to add to the collection.

    The guy next to Ed has that ‘wtf am I doing near this psycho, get me out of here’ expression, one which has been sported by many who have been photographed near Ed.

  45. 45
    The public says:


  46. 46
    C.O.Jones says:

    So now we find that the Financial Transaction Tax (FTT) will not hit bankers.

    It will hit pension funds and private investors and do damage to the financial industry (who are huge contributors to the chancellors purse).

    Vote UKIP.

  47. 47
    Anonymous says:

    Chris Rock ?

  48. 48
    Tosser Watch says:

    Ed thinks talking on the phone to other people in the middle of a scheduled meeting is the best way to show that you think that the people you are with are important and valued members of society.

  49. 49
    Red Prince Watch says:

    Isn’t her husband a Porn Again?

  50. 50
    We cover up for child abusing politicians but don't say the N word which you never actually said says:

    Why not send in Cyril Smith to give them a spanking ?

  51. 51
    Nermal says:

    I wonder if “Hacked Off” are aware that it is UNESCO’s “Press Freedom Day”

  52. 52
    Tosser Watch says:

    Cameron claimed he’d vetoed this. He lied.

    He claims the EU is in the interests of Britons. He continues to lie.

  53. 53
    Pundit says:

    For his cell phone ? What is the dialling code for Wandsworth. C’hris H’uhne may know…

  54. 54
    Hacked Off says:

    We do not believe there should be a free press. Does that clarify things for you?

  55. 55
    Anonymous says:

    I sent a tenner to the Fascists running the European Commission.
    The Conservatives are just a Regional Compliance Office rubber stamping EU Directives.

  56. 56
    Being realistic says:

    Some people would say 8 years, out in 4, isn’t a bad trade for a lifetime of perversions

  57. 57
    Red Prince Watch says:

    What’s happening in the Ukraine is that thousands of migrants have clustered together in a foreign country & then are using subterfuge & violence to take that country over.

    Condemned by the Western political class.

    Erm…..Luton, Birmingham, Stockport, Oldham, Bradford, Manchester…….

  58. 58
    C O (Ξ7r1) says:

    You may be thinking of J’acqui S’mith.

    D’romey is cut more from the nonce cloth, considering his support of PIE ‘back in the day’. However, that nonce’s tastes have both matured and darkened since then.

  59. 59
    Amazing! says:

    It’s also #LeonBrittan day on Twitter!

  60. 60
    C O (Ξ7r1) says:

    Could be Max Clifford – pretending to be Ed Balls – calling him up to ask him if Max is circumcised ** giggle **. The picture was taken before Clifford realized he had got the wrong number.

  61. 61
    C.O.Jones says:

    Exactly. It is being imposed on us whether we like it or not.

    Unfortunately when a tax is introduced it has a habit of going up over time.

  62. 62
  63. 63
    A fenian says:

    Gerry! Gerry! Gerry! Gerry! Gerry! Gerry! Gerry!

  64. 64
    Derry Cocksporn says:

    I got 2 years, I should be out after a few months. :)

  65. 65
    UKIP says:

    No taxation without referendum

  66. 66
    Ken Clarke says:

    I would like to see details appearing weekly on the internet of Bank statements pertaining to the account or accounts into which all of these financial property taxes are paid.

    When all the unemployed make their daily trek to the Job Centre, give the brighter ones a chair and computer, and let them carryout spot Taxpayer Audits which can then be posyed to Google and Yahoo websites.

  67. 67
    Calamity Clegg, Chief Cockroach says:

    We don’t believe that criminals should go to prison.

  68. 68
    Will the World of Finance please help me says:

    What has any of this got to do with Leon Brittan?

    I thought he was dead.

  69. 69
    Ockham's Razor says:


    The year that undivided Cyprus joined the UN, having gained independence, and Archbishop Makarios, he of the long beard, funny hat and black robe, became president.

    The year that the Malpasset Dam near Fréjus collapses causing over 400 deaths.

    The first section of motorway in Britain was opened.

    The Guggenheim Museum was opened in NYC, designed by Frank Lloyd Wright.

    Xerox first introduced the plain paper copier so that loads of office people could photocopy their bottoms when they thought no one was looking. The bigger machines could take two people at once and were more comfortable than they looked but one had to take care not to fall off.

    No manned space flight had taken place.

    Donna Paola Ruffo di Calabria married the Prince of Liège, later King of the Belgians. They would have three children, then split up with each other (like Nina and Fred), bonk half of Belgium each before getting back together. They stepped down as King and Queen last year.

    Buddy Holly, Ritchie Valens, and The Big Bopper were all killed when their plane crashed.

    Charles de Gaulle was inaugurated as the first president of the Fifth Republic of France. He started to practice saying “non”.

    My mother went out and bought a Nina and Frederik LP which helped to blight my childhood.

  70. 70
    UKID DING says:

    Vote Ukip for better weather, warmer summers, cleaner air, fluffier clouds, purer water, easier jobs and faster trains.

  71. 71
    Will the World of Finance please help me says:

    “………in the interests of………” who exactly does the EU exist?

  72. 72
    Max Clifford's tiny cock says:

    If you go to ‘Pets at Home’ to by bird seed you will notice that ‘Niger’ seed (from the country of Niger) is spelled ‘Nyjer’ so no one gets offended….

    I shit you not.

  73. 73
    ████ 'changed my tune ' Hoon says:

    I’m with you there, Cleggy.

  74. 74
    C O (Ξ7r1) says:

    Hasn’t Clarkson expressed support for the case of the UK leaving the EU ?

  75. 75
    Ockham's Razor says:

    A million pounds is not rich.

    It is richer than having no pounds or a minus number but it is not rich.

  76. 76
    Hoist by the celebrity petard says:

    Try his solicitor. (Who have been strangely silent about their involvement in all this as of late. He must have been the client from hell.)

    Incidentally, there is something quite amusing about the way he went about choosing his legal representatives. Once you know that Al-Fayed was involved, you can just tell it was never going to work out well for Clifford.

  77. 77
    Constant Brisket says:

    Me name be Constance Briscoe
    Off to prison me go
    I lied to help Vicky Pryce
    And now me career is on ice

  78. 78
    Mango grower says:

    I I use pesticides to kill off the fruit flies, I am in the shit. If I do not, I am in the shit. Sounds like greenie eu wanker policy.

  79. 79
    Inner Circle Watch says:

    Hi Ken, how’s it going? Tell me, what was it about the young Nick Clegg that so attracted him to you? What inspired you to give him his leg-up in life and arrneg for him to work in Leon Brittan’s private office?

  80. 80
    Ed Miliband says:

    Today I’m going to the mall to buy some sneakers, and then I’ll have lunch at a diner where I’ll have a burger with an order of fries. After that, Justine and I will go to the movies. Tomorrow I’ll write a letter of condolence to the family of Lootenant Dan.

  81. 81
    Curious says:

    Why is n-gg-er worse than bl-ck, or c–n, or wh-tey, or limey, or any other rude name?

    Is it not just the white liberal chatterati being “I am seriously offended on your behalf”

    They are only words ffs. If one is “banned” another will pop up to replace it.

    Is it still O.K. to say “Harperson and Co are stupid posing bastards”

  82. 82
    Fishy says:

    I type that as 0208 588 4000, as was originally intended. People living in the 0208 area of London insisted, though, the code was presented as 020 so that people could not differentiate between them and those in the 0207 (wealthier) part of the capital. BT stupidly agreed.

    To annoy them I always write their code down as 0208.

  83. 83
    She shagged Jeffery Archer FFS ! says:

    Oh FFS SKy news is now wheeling out some mad attention seeking woman claiming she was ‘groomed’ by Clifford. Lets just say She has an interesting past.

  84. 84
    Ockham's Razor says:

    Max Clifford, his todger did flex
    At those of the opposite sex.
    A diminutive act
    Proves, after the fact,
    De Maximus non curat lex.

  85. 85
    Diane Abbott says:

    Shut up, honkey! All you crazy crackas need to stop your shit! Fuck you, whitey!

  86. 86
    Casual Observer 2 says:

    No more apologies please Jeremy. Just go to ground for a bit, and the fuckers will soon be offended and distracted by someone else.

  87. 87
    Harriet Hatesmen (but loves little kiddywinks to death) says:

    No-one can call me niggardly with my hypocritical mouthings.

  88. 88
    The EU says:

    No-one on the European Commission wants your fresh mangoes. You don’t bribe us enough.

    Oh dear, you will have to sell them at a knock-down price to multinational fruit canning corporations who lobby us handsomely?

  89. 89
    I wonder if Max Clifford was served button mushrooms for dinner last night says:

    Harman worked with p*edos and insulted all people with red hair with her ginger rat joke, but she gets to keep her job. Clarkson apologises for mumbling what sounded like the N word but wasn’t the N word and he gets persecuted and harassed. What a fucked up country we live in.

  90. 90
    Ever your friend and confidante, Harriet. says:

    Naughty. Naughty. Diane. You mustn’t say such bad things. Otherwise people will think you are a grossly obese loud mouthed effnic bitch.

  91. 91
    Oscar Wilde says:

    True latin scholars will oft admit
    Inapt repetitions murder wit

  92. 92
    Fishy says:

    But surely the same applies to Fatty Abbott, who despite her overtly racist comments, still sits as a Labour MP and a regular (and the most highly paid) on the BBC.

    But of course we learn that BME’s, no matter how racist they are, cannot be racist. Who sets those rules, who says so? The likes of Harriett Harman.

    It’s clear from Harman (and all those ringing into the BBC yesterday – complaining that Clarkson was a Tory…wrote for the Sun…was in the pay of Murdoch) that if you’re not from the Illiberal Liberal frappuccino set, you’re nobody.

  93. 93
    Max Clifford's tiny cock says:

    A D.C mayor was forced to resign for using the word ‘niggardly’.

  94. 94
    Anon says:

    It’s the number of the prison. I don’t think people who live there give much of a shit about how prestigious the post code is.

  95. 95
    C O (Ξ7r1) says:

    Insightful piece from Dan Hodges:

    However, it may be better if he leaves hyperbole to his cat.

    To counter Dan’s moronic speculation that in 2014 UK people it is unthinkable that people can still hold certain views, Dan would be better to draw attention to the fact that the left would not mind hounding people from their job purely because of the alleged use of a word.

    So, if the 1940’s R’uss!an mindset is alive and well in the UK left in 2014, why then should not the more successful British colonial mindset of the 19th Century ?

    Such allusions to time with the implication that progress should have taken people beyond a certain means of thinking is dubious to say the least.

    In the case of the left, after their concerted effort to import medi-eval !slamic views, 19th century colonial views and the somewhat backward views of the un-reformed N’azi’s of the Eastern Bloc, it is no wonder that the UK national perspective has regressed somewhat.

    Perhaps if Dan read a few history books before laying out his next tawdry set of pixels, he perhaps could form something worthy of publication rather than this cheap propaganda, which to be fair would be lucky to graded an F in the Goebbel’s school of journalism.

  96. 96
    Jabba Le Chat says:

    “My mother went out and bought a Nina and Frederik LP which helped to blight my childhood.”

    Lolz…brilliant and most def candidate for comment of the week…

  97. 97
    Village Idiot says:

    …I hope you recovered, and for me, Britain, at that time, was very “Darling Buds of May”, wondrous,green,fruitful and filled with lovely yokels ,who toiled on the land,and our towns were quaint,historic and picturesque!
    Now,the countryside seems sanitised and SOME cities and built up areas resemble “down town Bagdhad”…We are told this is good for us,who am I to argue!
    I may hold a different opinion,which for reasons of the lack of free speech in this country,i will keep to myself!

  98. 98
    Fishy says:

    A few years ago at a Labour Conference, one of Labour’s self-important spinmeisters was pacing up an down in the conference hotel, holding a heated and an obviously important conversation on his mobile.

    Everyone could see and hear that this bloke was one of Labour’s indispensable ringmasters from the conversation he was having…..during which his phone rang!

  99. 99
    C.O.Jones says:

    The left are never accountable for their words or actions.

    You can lie to the country and start a war based on those lies and it’s all beyond reproach.

  100. 100
    Genghiz the kahn says:

    Woman on phone in background: Hello Big boy Miliband, do you want to meet me in five minutes, I can make you so, so, happy, I want to have your babies, is that you David?

  101. 101
    Harriet Hatesmen (but loves little kiddywinks to death) says:

    I fully support the persecution of paediatricians. They are wicked people – the clue’s in the name.

  102. 102
    Fishy says:

    Is the Kingston Guardian a category 3 prison?

  103. 103
    Leon Brittan says:

    You ain’t seen me. Right?

  104. 104
    The safest place for my cock these days is zipped into my trousers says:

    But you have to have taxes before the likes of Capita PLC can get on with arranging a Referendum ,silly.

  105. 105
    The safest place for my cock these days is zipped into my trousers says:

    Just wait for the Civil Writs to start flying.

    And they will no matter what you might have heard to the contrary.

  106. 106
    Genghiz the kahn says:

    40 years of Blazing Saddles … Is Mel Brook’s on Harman’s banned list?

  107. 107
    Village Idiot says:

    …Asian guy smirks as he realises how well the 5th column breeding programme is going,and that ed and all the rest have no idea what is taking place under their very large,bent,adenoidal noses!!!!!

  108. 108
    C O (Ξ7r1) says:

    The left will want to start a race war now they realize they are losing in order to finish off their job on the right.

    What needs to be put firmly in the public domain and up for debate is that the dysfunctional changes enacted on UK society 1997 through 2010 are unsustainable and have destabilized cohesion over the medium term.

    UKIP have started this by sensibly speaking about immigration policy – something that affects both established and newcomer populations.

    Reflection is a good way to manage this, and see through the natural tribal reactions, which otherwise suggest irrational action.

    White folk may feel irritated and hostile towards those who they perceive as being given unfair economic advantage, and also who are standing out as different within otherwise calm communities.

    The real problem is that the outsiders here feel exactly the same way, but they are perhaps more in a state of fear that the current status quo will change. Any changes would not be in their favour.

    What Labour have done is destabilize society in an unsustainable way – the biggest risks to social stability are in currently advantaged newly arrived ethnic communities – not in the dominant established population.

    This is most visible in the language and actions of the M’uslim community in the UK now – but the more militant language coming from the black population is suggesting the dynamic is spreading, and it is spreading in reaction to coordinated agitprop sourcing from the UK left: In part from the Labour party.

  109. 109
    Fishy says:

    Although I think the guy is a c’unt, I though that his sentence was savage.

    I see that others are coming out of the woodwork now that the case is over to claim abuse. But (at risk of being reported to the thought police by Harriet Harman), why is it that a defendant is named yet his accusers remain anonymous?

    The CPS say it helps that others might come forward…but what if the anonymous complainant is a serial fantasist? and an attention seeker. Because we don’t know THEIR names there is no chance of someone similarly coming forward to tell the court that the witness has a track record of making false claims

  110. 110
    T.B£iar - the People's Messiah says:

    Thankfully ! Good old Beeb, eh ? :)

  111. 111
    Ed Stalinbrand says:

    We forced energy prices up with our green energy taxes so we will freeze them and blame the energy companies when the lights go out.
    We forced rents up with unlimited mass immigration so we will freeze them and blame greedy landlords when there is no more accommodation to rent.

    Who says we have no policies?

  112. 112
    Benny Fitz-Clements says:

  113. 113
    An awkward bastard says:

    The last time my lights went out them Socialists were behind it.

  114. 114
    Canis Latinicus says:

    Credo ut vos sanguinarius mendax estis, quia facies vostra monstrat ut vos in damno malo humore estis

  115. 115
    Socialism is theft says:

    Three big reasons to vote UKIP

    Lib Dems

  116. 116
    MI5 says:

    Just been reading the tittle-tattle Max kept on his PC, this stuff is gold dust!

  117. 117
    Bert says:

    No mention of that fateful purchase here, however:

    Speaking of N & F, was not Puff the Magic Dragon on the playlist of Uncle Mac (aka Derek McCullough, posthumously smeared by the courageous John Simpson)?

    Innocent days, never to be repeated.

  118. 118
    Bert says:

    Better still, parachute in some French intellectuals and bore them to death.

  119. 119
    An awkward bastard says:

    People are insufferable these days.

    They go around expecting politicians to keep the roads and pavements clean with the country having at all times adequate supplies of water gas and electricity.

    The work of politicians is far more involved than this.

    There are crusades to be fought in the Middle East and Africa, regulation of World Banks, the control of the flow of money ,civil defences against alien attacks , conferences to attend all over the world.

    People are so ungrateful.

  120. 120
    UKIP 4 ALL says:

    The rise of UKIP and the exodus of its long taken for granted bloc vote to UKIP is tipping Hodges over the edge into a full on mental breakdown.

    If and when UKIP comes first on May 22nd and if they get over 40% of the popular vote we can expect Hodges to have a full blown mental episode.

  121. 121
    Bert says:

    Now then now then, mind what you say on t’web.

  122. 122
    Bert says:

    Sounds good to me. Where’s the polling station?

  123. 123
    Mike Tinycock says:

    You were a victim of this witch hunt going on by a few perverted do gooders against the good and great. You should have taken a leaf out of my book, just pull a sickie every time you are supposed to appear in Court. Boaz

  124. 124
    UKIP 4 ALL says:

    Its not about the word itself, its about conditioning us to be frightened of speaking out.
    Now its the N word and more and more banned words will be added and before most people are aware of it we will be living in a socialist paradise.

    Banning words is like training a puppy, we are being groomed to watch our mouths and thoughts in preparation for a time when our rulers have banned so many words we cannot express ourselves at all.

  125. 125
    Handycock whipping it out says:

    No way! Boaz.

  126. 126
    No wonder he married Dawn French, she's unfunny too says:

    I don’t agree with the racist comments of the UKIP candidate about Lenny Henry, but that shouldn’t detract attention from the basic fact that Henry is painfully unfunny.

  127. 127
    C O (Ξ7r1) says:

    The only problem with the deterioration of Dan Hodges’s mental health is that the likes of Owen Jones will be able to produce more pixels without credible opposition from one their own.

    As a pro-Bla!r type, he should be relatively in tune with some of Farage’s message to the left, as actual left leaning voters are.

    The difference is that the psychopath side of Blair is not present in Nigel.

    Dan owes nothing to Labour.

  128. 128
    Jeremy Clarkson says:

    I fully intend to say the “s” word through this esteemed blog.


    That’s it then.

    Thank you and Good Day.

  129. 129
    Nepal Times says:

    Ah! But what was the exact date in 1959 that “no manned space flight had taken place” occurred? ;-)

  130. 130
    Exhibit A says:

  131. 131
    Gerry and Martin should both be skinned alive says:

    Isn’t the arrest of Gerry A*ams just for show? Surely the elephant in the room is that if he was charged, his IRA friends would murder the police officers involved.

  132. 132
    David Kimmeron? says:

    Me, I think oil just sty at home? With a capple o’ tinnies? Mybee kitch some footie on TV?

  133. 133
    Clarkson Rules O.K. says:

    Good on yer Jeremy.

    Fuck all the PC white liberal chatterati.

  134. 134
    The two Muppets says:

    Harriet Harman is not the sharpest knife in the drawer .

  135. 135
    Tim Yeo says:

    Been there, done that

  136. 136
    Mmmmm... says:

    How many establishment figures will one day come out claiming that they were never aware of the rumours?

  137. 137
    Casual Observer 2 says:

    Quite so. Bye bye freedom of speech, warts and all.

  138. 138
    Chairman Mao says:

    Bought any Darlie toothpaste recently?

  139. 139
    Calamity Clegg, Chief Cockroach says:


  140. 140
    Ockham's Razor says:

    This reference to “Straight Outta Compton” relates to a song by the rap group NWA, and has long served as the white man’s Nuremberg defence over the use of racially offensive language.

    Nuremberg? For heaven’s sake! Has Dan, whom I often enjoy reading, lost all sense of equivalence?

  141. 141
    PC 1984 Plod says:

    If there is anything of a criminal nature you must get down to the Police station with it without delay.

    I was talking to a bloke in a pub last night and according to him the coppers fancy having another pop at a soap star or two.

    Rolf Harris is the next one up and others from the world of politics are now in the frame.

    Funnily enough not that many sportsmen are in th frame but there is still plenty of time.

  142. 142
    Christine Hamilton says:

    Friends claim Clifford’s wife will now ‘take him for everything he’s got’

  143. 143
    My other dog speaks mandarin says:

    Dixit hoc idem pridie. Cras erit idem

  144. 144
    RED LEN says:

    Your policies are to re-nationalise everything and bring equality of outcome and income through re-distribution of wealth.

    Tax, borrow and spend: THIS is your mission.

  145. 145
    Bert says:

    Any day you like, up to and including 31 December 8-)

  146. 146
    Max Clifford says:

    He is funnier than you are though

  147. 147
    Canis Latinicus says:

    ¡ legunt attentius !

  148. 148
    Paddy Power says:

    It is now 5/4 on an appeal against sentence and even money an appeal against conviction.

    Possibility of a Clifford suicide attempt 3/1 with personal bankruptcy 10/1 and administration 5/1.

    Get in there !

  149. 149
    OooooooO says:

    It just shows that he is ignorant about the nature of the Nuremberg Defence – which was basically the fallacy that a soldier is to be treated with impunity if he commits a crime such as murder while following orders.

    At Nuremberg the ‘defence’ was declared, not for the first time in human history, to be a load of bollocks. Soldiers have a legal responsibility not to commit crimes. The issue of following orders may be relevant to the question of sentence and may well mitigate it, but unless a defence of duress is put sucesssfully pur forward (which it generally wasn’t in fact), then ‘following orders’ per se just won’t wash and does not absolve a soldier from a finding of guilt if they carry out a murder.

    No-one is telling white people to say n*gger, and no white person I am aware of has ever claimed they were ‘following orders’ if they did so.

  150. 150
  151. 151
    William Hague says:

    Like me, for instance?

  152. 152
    Dirtbag says:


    The murals are going up on the Falls Rd. he’s a visionary, no less.

  153. 153
    Nepal Times says:

    Are you attempting to make the case that “manned space flight” was predetermined then? :neutral:

  154. 154
    P l e b says:

    Can anyone explain to me the exact purpose of an MEP?

  155. 155
    Mr Gove the useless teacher says:

    Stop sniggering at the back, please!

  156. 156
    Mr Gove the useless teacher says:

    Stop sñiggering at the back, please!

  157. 157
    Nigella Lawson on the BBC has just says:

    It’s desirably squidgy inside

  158. 158
    Ockham's Razor says:

    Quite right.

    But I suspect he is using the reference for another purpose.

    The argumentum ad Hitlerum gives a specious appearance of elevating the significance of his argument.

    This is one of the oldest tricks in the left’s repertoire of sophistry.

  159. 159
    Questions of our time says:

    Is laughing at black people rac!st ?

  160. 160
    Anonymous says:

    Labour and the Liberals won’t get that many,rogue poll.

  161. 161
    More N Blazing Saddles says:

  162. 162
    EeeYepBlowing Whistles says:

    Something else to ponder

    “You can fool all of the people some of the time, and some of the people all of the time, but you cannot fool all of the people all of the time.” Abraham Lincoln, 1858.

    And of course he was Assissinated – because he did not want to play ball with certain crooks.

  163. 163
    goggzilla says:

    Old Holborn (Robert Ambridge) arrested and in HMP Walton? Rumour or fact? Twitter accounts closed and no reply on his moribund “blog”?

  164. 164
    Vladimir Putin (who must be a racist) says:

    If Minorities prefer Sharia Law then we advise them to go to those places where that’s the state law. Russia does not need minorities. Minorities need Russia, and we will not grant them special privileges, or try to change our laws to fit their desires, no matter how loud they yell ‘discrimination’.

  165. 165
    The BBC and the Guardian are disgusted says:

    I have to say the the episode where the guys built a bridge over the river in Burma and the commentary referred to the slope on it as some local chap walked over it(I presumed they meant the incline) was deemed to be racist ????. I had never even heard this phrase used in that way before so it just goes to show that it’s a minefield although in relation to Clarkson’s latest offence everybody knows that that phrase has been a no-no for ages so he ought to have known better.

    However…….Good job Guy Gibson isn’t alive to-day. He’d have just got back from the successful Dambusters Raid and been arrested by the police as he landed for calling his dog a highly offensive name

  166. 166
    M103 says:

    Surely these two have Tony Blair’s ‘get out of jail cards’?

  167. 167
    Ah! dear says:

    LATEST:Five monkeys stolen during a “targeted” break-in at Blackpool Zoo have been found, police say.

    Black Rod is refusing to release them.

  168. 168
    C O (Ξ7r1) says:

    Dan is distorting a very strong social commentary relating to very real civil rights problems that existed in South Californ!a during the early 80s.

    What Dan is trying to conceal is that he is defending a idea which seeks to restrict the use of words – potentially with criminal sanction – an issue which NWA were also making comment on if one listens to the actual lyrics of their work.

    Their express profanity was in part testament to the infringement of the rights of young blacks in South Californ!a to express themselves freely at that time without government sanction or censure.

    That is what Dan seems to be trying to airbrush.

    A more direct interpretation is that he is taking a very rac!st view of NWA’s work and trying to turn that against white people.

    In response to Dan, it would be fair to describe him as a gay mongoloid douche bag mother-fucking shit journalist, whose views should be taken down in an AK spray down, in the name of free speech.

  169. 169
    being a bit sick.... says:

    Can Friday 2nd May become a national” NHS is safer without Clifford at large” day.

  170. 170
    Hannukkah Rice says:

    In the local mosque cum community centre.

  171. 171
    Ah! you sure? says:

    Old Holborn ‏@OldHolborn3 14m
    @daiderbyshire @Ed_Miliband So Beaker went out to show how important the economy is to him & boosted it by £5? Typical millionaire marxist
    View conversation Reply Retweet Favorite More
    Old Holborn ‏@OldHolborn3 20m
    @Ed_Miliband There seems to be a lack of photos where you’re buying £2 of cheap flowers
    Expand Reply Retweet Favorite More
    Old Holborn ‏@OldHolborn3 22m
    Oh FFS “Taliban can’t be held more than 96 hours decides judge: Human rights ruling could hinder our troops in all wars, warn top brass”
    Expand Reply Retweet Favorite More
    Old Holborn ‏@OldHolborn3 24m
    Just when it can’t get any better – Will Clifford’s wife now file for divorce? Friend claims she will now ‘take him for everything he’s got’

  172. 172
  173. 173
    Mine d'Boggles says:

    Not really, Labour has a lot in common with the Tennessee Mining Unions/political parties: a vast industry disappeared, just as Labour will for the same reason: gas and nuclear energy. All the hard yacker jobs evaporated, just as they did/are doing here. Be kind – say goodbye to Labour, politely.

  174. 174
    Norm Normal says:

    Shouldn’t surprise anyone, people like Hattie work towards a homogeneous socialist world and discriminate, bully and obstruct anyone who doesn’t share their views. She would have you all sterilised and thrown in a gulag if it were possible.

    I have no sympathy for Clarkson tho, he is an immature nob and the worst kind of northern monkey (screeching inferiority complex). He is also another overpaid BBC employee, good riddance. Get a real job you arse, go work for a commercial channel.

  175. 175
    Anonymous says:

    Get with the programme. You could be living in a lice ridden dump in Lahore and get an 020 7 number.

  176. 176
    shocked says:

    You mean there are some phones that can receive a call while another is occurring? Who knew.

  177. 177
    Norm Normal says:

    It’s a voice mail from his brother…. :-)

  178. 178
    Leon Brittan says:

    There’s nothing wrong with pedalos. I like going to the park and having fun with the pedalos. There’s always kids in parks with pedalos. I can spend all day in a park with kids and pedalos.

  179. 179
    A woomun ob kulla says:

    Dat am da propa ting ta doo!

    an don you go say da golly marmlade word eetha

  180. 180
    The Labour Bullying Machine says:

    We’re all going to do her.

  181. 181

    You would’nt want to be cleaning the underpants in Wandsworths laundry after Clifford heard his sentence

  182. 182
    Diane Fatbott says:


  183. 183
    Morrison is another leftie c*nt - just like Berger says:

  184. 184
    The British media are cunts says:

    Once again the BBC gave Gordon Brown free airtime to spout his drivel yet not one question on his record in office. Funny the BBC only ever ask Tories about their past.

    AS for Hattie Harpic demanding Clarkson be fired, at least he’s said sorry, there are thousands of kids abused and r*ped by member of PIE who are still waiting for YOUR apology Harpic.

  185. 185
    The British media are cunts says:

    Oh for fucks sake now what word is getting modded?

  186. 186
    Anonymous says:

    You can however say

    ‘the person in the woodpile’

  187. 187
    Yesterday's People Almanac says:

    So brownie, Hattiesburg and blinky finally emerge this week.

    Just crawl back under your stones will you. You’ve nothing to say and your apologies for your various errors are still awaited.

    We won’t hold our breath.

  188. 188
    couldn't happen to a better twat says:

    ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha

  189. 189
    C O (Ξ7r1) says:

    You raise a valid point.

    The police generally know if such folk have a track record, but if the prosecutor is looking for quick career advancement on what seems an otherwise ok case, they will likely go for it.

    The victim witness coaching – which some criminal lawyers describe as victim makers – helps coach complainants irrespective of if their complaint is legit or not to help make the prosecutions case. Not generally well known, arguably helpful in some cases, but further stacks the odds against defendents.

    Looking at the Clifford case, he did likely transgress with many other women, but if they only come forward after the conviction, it really calls into questions their motives for making such a move and in particular the real impact which they may have experienced.

    Would be logical to see a lot of civil claims go through against Max, and apparent victims will have to move fast there before Cliffords wife makes off with the loot when she files for divorce. If she doesn’t do that, she stands to lose quite a bit herself.

  190. 190
    Yesterday's People Almanac says:

    Using the second part of food and d…., or the d word used to move a car is not permitted in here.

  191. 191
    goggzilla says:

    Fake accounts?

  192. 192
    goggzilla says:

    Questioning? Well arrest is a step up.

  193. 193
    goggzilla says:

    Yes it raises a smile. Now that he is petered up with Ali and Faisal will he reappraise his Islamophobia? Poetic justice, innit?

  194. 194
    Returning Londoner says:

    The year I left school with a few ‘O’ levels and set out to conquer the world alone. London was a happy city in those days, but much has changed (for the worse) while I have been away.

  195. 195
    Leon Brittan says:

    Happy #LeonBrittanDay!

  196. 196
    Returning Londoner says:

    Look for the brolly, the brolly on the jar – doesn’t quite have the same ring to it…

  197. 197
    Owen Jones says:

    Guido,I’m an easy-going sort of chap but WILL YOU ALL STOP TALKING ABOUT UKIP I CAN’T FUCKING STAND IT ANY MORE!!!

  198. 198
    Your friendly neighbourhood commenter says:

    FYI: list of modded words to avoid or disguise (those that I know anyway)


    D*ink d*riving

    P*ul S*aines

    H*rry C*le



    Any others commenters know of?

  199. 199
    Bert says:


    “May 28 – Two monkeys, Able and Miss Baker are the first living beings to successfully return to Earth from space aboard the flight Jupiter AM-18.”

    Would suggest pre-determination, even if NASA was even then infested with anti-male types who denied Able his title!

    [Ed. – this topic is now closed]

  200. 200
    max-to-the-max says:

    Cliffard who?

  201. 201
    Yesterday's People, Panto Wedding Planner says:

    After an initial burst, the demand from the gayers has gone arse up, I’m afraid and Puff the Magic Weddings Plc is closing forthwith.

  202. 202
    The Now Show says:

    Probably why the re-make of The Dam Busters never got off the ground.

  203. 203
    Nigel "I'll say anything if it'll get me coverage" Farage speaking there says:

    Thinking of voting UKIP, have a quick check on the should I vote UKIP? website

  204. 204
    Bill Quango MP says:

    Can someone please explain to me why someone not saying the ‘n’ word and then apologising for not saying the ‘n’ word must resign from their job.

    Whilst someone who affiliated her group to a P’doh ring and approved articles calling for the age of ten as consent does not even feel she had to apologise for her actions?

    The ugly, wrinkly, brass neck of Hattie Hatemen is in a class of its own.

  205. 205
    Yesterday's People, Fatarse says:

    Still too depressed to work? Benefits Street’s White Dee enjoys a £500 bottle of champagne in Magaluf as she headlines at Carnage pool party

    Read more:
    Follow us: @MailOnline on Twitter | DailyMail on Facebook

  206. 206
    The British media are cunts says:

    Well said

  207. 207
    Bill Quango MP says:


  208. 208
    non taxable pikey says:

    Tories electioneering in my little East Midlands Town. Beautiful reply from an elderly lady when asked if she would be voting for them. Brought tears to the eyes of several bystanders.

    “One does not vote for Sodomites.”

  209. 209
    The British media are cunts says:

    @177 Clarkson and Top Gear would be bought up in a flash. They’ve been offered big money to go to the USA before but turned it down to stay in the UK.

    I’m guessing you’re a socialist and therefore have no understanding of the free market or freedom of speech.

    Funny that the left have on problem with fucking bushy bearded mongs making threats on our streets.

  210. 210
    Nigel says:

    To vote for or against legislation…so I’ve heard.

  211. 211
    Old Nick Heavenly (alive and kikin) says:

    Well, Bill, he might have said it and almost certainly thought it and anyway he does not subscribe to PC Bollocks theory of wonderfulness, inate moral superiority and, and the basta

  212. 212
    Anonymous says:

    [clarkson word] and s[clarkson word]

  213. 213
    Politically Correct says:

    Still the best use of the N-word since Mark Twain…

  214. 214
    Ockham's Razor says:

    Can I put you down as “not a fan”, then? :-)

    Two ideas occur to me:

    The left criticised the right for using force to maintain slavery. The left then do exactly the same thing – except with words instead. The rise of voluble left wing elements in their populations, simply spurs them on to a point of over-reach. It would be ironic but for the pointlessness of it all.

    The second thought is to do with the rise of the ~ologies (the study or discourse about what ever subject becomes its root). Geology is an older one which has yielded much knowledge to us. But many of the newer ~ologies are about naval gazing and actually yield nothing of any value. Compare with the ~sophies (the amassing of wisdom and skill.) Mostly harder to do and therefore shunned by pupils and teachers alike. We are the poorer for this.

  215. 215
    Old Nick Heavenly (alive and kikin) says:

    rd earns lots of dosh as the BBcees biggest earner, possibly?

  216. 216
    Old Nick Heavenly (alive and kikin) says:

    Anyway, Bill, you are so “yesterday”

  217. 217
    Bill Quango MP says:

    Ahh.. but the story has moved on. Hattie is demanding the BBC sack Clarkson.

    if I was Mr Dacre I think I know what my daily mail headline might be.

    “P’doh Harman must resign! ”

    … when Mz Harman said that at the time of P’dohgate she was young and inexperienced and had made an error, we accepted this. But it appears that Mz Harman cannot accept a far, far less serious error in another person.
    So the Daily Mail is DEMANDING HARMAN IS SACKED for her p’doh thoughts and deeds…etc..etc..

  218. 218
    C O (Ξ7r1) says:

    Odds should be on that when he gets out he will use stories of failed suicide attempts to win back some public sympathy for his misfortune.

    Clifford plays from the same rule book as Jack Straw.

  219. 219
    Owen Jones says:


  220. 220
    Nepal Times says:

    If this subject is closed, you had better call me a Charlie Able Baker!

  221. 221
    Owen Jones says:

    The traitorous dissident Old Holborn has been arrested for the safety of the People. He will not be returning to Twitter.

  222. 222
    ‘Vichy’ Dave says:

    EUSSR Bureau for the Eradication of Thort Crime

    Due to the upsurge of Thought Crime in Britain over past weeks, all Common People are required to submit their thought diaries at once for assessment.

    Your obedience is expected – There will no exceptions !


    David ‘Vichy’ Cameron
    Regional Governor

  223. 223
    Bill Quango MP says:

    The thing is I was actually felt quite sorry for Hattie at the time of pgate.
    She was just a worker who approved block affiliates without checking their credentials. She should not be accused of being a secret p’doh.

    And yet she was. and viciously too. It sent her underground for a few months.
    She might even have lost her job if the attacks had continued for any longer.

    Yet she now feels able to try and do the same trick to someone else.
    Its not just galling its amazing that she would do so.

  224. 224
    still, it could be worse says:

    Over the years I have seen ideas come into the social consciousness.
    for example: the whole racial thing of lumping people together being seen as a wrong thing.
    We would say ” because they are from this background is of no importance,; all are of equal value”.
    It is true that all humans have the ability by concentrated effort of will to transcend the reality but normally nobody bothers because they are a bit thick.
    Now the country is in the result of the pseudo-intellectual fucking social worker’s manipulations over the decades and it is not working is it ?
    There is a great value to the English society which we should not permit to be destroyed by alien invaders with an agenda.
    proscribe Islam now.

  225. 225
    Grodon Brown and the entire festering putrid EUSSR Cabal says:

    The so called ‘Dam Busters’ Raid is hereby extinguished, obliterated, and eradicated from history along with any books, films, or other material that celebrate the word that cannot be said.

    That is all.

    Severe Penalties for disobedience!

  226. 226
    Anon says:

    you gov is always labour biased might be because the head of the company is married to a labour baroness……….
    ;) ;) ;)

  227. 227


  228. 228
    The Growler says:

    As for Clarkson, I never watch him now, he is another self publicity machine, good luck to those that can spare an hour of their time watching him on the idiots lantern, I watched him and his little chums clowning about, I thought it’s just like watching legalised joy riding.

  229. 229
    Fred the pensioner says:

    No!! What we really need to know are the names of the lasses that the judge and both legal teams groped at the wild parties they attended as uni law students in their 20s. I be there is not one red-blooded male here who did not have a quick grope on the darkened dance floor – especially back in the days before Chubby Checker started twisting and when couples actually danced close together. My dance instructor when I was about 20 used to tell us that if there is daylight between you, you are not doing it right.

  230. 230
    Max says:

    Uh, oh! My cell mate is an 18 stone n-word!

  231. 231
    Fred the pensioner says:

    Correct, It is spelt dr*ve; dr*ivel; dr*iver etc..

  232. 232
    Scio says:

    Quid est? Cattus?

  233. 233
    Fred the pensioner says:

    The middle of the last day of the week is also banned. Change u to e for easy access.

  234. 234
    C O (Ξ7r1) says:

    Why feel sorry for her ?

    She knew exactly what she was getting into back then, and has profited from those activities since. To boot she also undermined UK national security through the ECHR because the authorities were rightly watching her back then.

    Playing for regular people’s sympathy is part of the trick that the likes of Savile, Harman, Clifford etc. use in order to distract from their true intentions and character.

    The only saving grace for Harman is that she is a bit thick.

    However, that the UK public have consistently allowed themselves to be fooled by such an intellectual inadequate perhaps does not do them too many favours.

    Miliband at least needs to fire Harman for the P-I-E stuff, and perhaps issue an apology to the House.

  235. 235
    still, it could be worse says:

    I have thought that if there was a candidate for the Gaia idea it would not be the whole Earth but water. Not to say that water is not the only God.

  236. 236
    But We Love 'im Anyway says:

    Ed, still not convinced to this day that “Councillor Khan” wasn’t actually his brother David, heavily made-up.

  237. 237
    Mr Helpful says:

    Or, if you will, “That which cannot be picked up by the clean end, nor polished.”

  238. 238
    still, it could be worse says:

    Fenians and fuckwits, abandon your historic misery, grass up your mates, join with us and with all the celts and the anglo saxons, make a society of minstrels and genius., there is more similar than is alien to be found here in our history.

  239. 239
    EeeYepBlowing Whistles says:

    Guy’s read book ‘You can trust the Communists … to be communists’
    pages 56 to 65. All is explained in there.

  240. 240
    Quote of the week says:

    Quote of the week!!

  241. 241
    Anonymous says:

    Hope Max Clifford writes a book about all the shady deeds committed by our so called ‘betters’ and I hope he earns a lot of money. Many of the recent crop of accused celebrities were found not guilty. I wonder if that is because they projected themselves as babyfaced innocents whereas Max Clifford did not and he is also disliked by so many. His harsh sentence is due to the fact that he did not cowtail in any way and remained true to his usual self. As for the who gave him good character references, why should they apologise?. I’ve always been told to speak as I find. Because a man is found guilty it does not not mean that he is so. In the same way that a man is found innocent does not always mean he is so. It seems as though the press have got their fallguy because they hated him. Everyone else will be found not guilty.

  242. 242
    Dan Hodges Cat says:

    Dan thinks Orwell’s book ‘1984’ was an instruction manual.
    unthinkable that people still hold certain views in 2014? the bloke is disappointed that people still have any views at all.
    Ok I may have exaggerated a bit….or have I?

  243. 243
    M103 says:


  244. 244
    Blue Peter Goldfish says:

    BBC has no problem with Patti Smith, Later with Jools Holland.

  245. 245
    M103 says:

    S n i g g e r not allowed

  246. 246
    Scales of Justice says:

    He’s keep all of them for that rainy day.

  247. 247
    M103 says:

    P*edo, although pederast is OK

  248. 248
    still, it could be worse says:

    looking at these things, as I do sometimes, from off planet it is conceivable to regard Max as a victim. By this I mean that he was not running about shopping centers looking for women to shag but seems to have been existing in that world of peculiar norms.

  249. 249
    M103 says:

    Hunt becomes Hunt

  250. 250
    M103 says:

    Thankfully we are still allowed to call Cameron a bellend

  251. 251
    David Cameron says:

    Up the brown chutes

  252. 252
    I say this as a concerned friend of course says:

    If your husband is preferring to ‘favourite’ a black long dicked guy on twitter rather than directing his affections towards you, then I’d suggest that there is something amiss somewhere Hattie.

  253. 253
    Only asking says:

    Not even as a receptical for Jack’s cock, eh Santiago old chum?

  254. 254
    Blue Peter Goldfish says:

    Any reference to Captain Pugwash and the Black Pig.

  255. 255
    Milligimp says:

    He thaid thwat? Al thwack bals balls and scwew them up.

  256. 256
    Gerry Adams says:

    I’m going to sing that in court. They might forget about the murder charge.

  257. 257
    Casual Observer 2 says:

    Ra Rules O.K.

  258. 258
    Guy Gibson VC (1943) says:

    The dam has gone! Send the codeword!

  259. 259
    Norm Normal says:

    I respect his right to shout whatever he likes in his own home and in public. The BBC is not the platform for it though. Untill viewers are free to choose which service they pay for it can’t be seen to offend anyone.

  260. 260
    Realist says:

    Playing the green victim card to boost the May 22 vote.

  261. 261
    Village Idiot says:

    …From my observations,i would say that, Clarkson and his gang are brilliant,humoristic,,normal,fun loving,piss taking ,thought provoking,intelligent British Gentlemen,just the same as thousands of us,and the problem lays’ with the people,mainly of the left,who are spiteful,selfish,bullying,dim,humourless,precious,sensitive creatures,whose time should be confined to the lockers of history,as they constantly try to bring people down..

  262. 262

    Did I hear that right.. codeword ..NIGE l? NIGEL ! My goodness… they’ve done it..they’ve blown right through the Liblabcon dams ..

    Its crumbling! The three party EU consensus is crumbling..

  263. 263
    Porridge Watch says:

    Max and Connie B & W Minstrel Show. Guest appearance from J. clarkson and assorted UKIP councillors.

    Make a note in your Autumn diary, …….for 2020.

  264. 264
    Gay ex dep Squeaker says:

    My code is not my name.

  265. 265
    Is it PC or offensive,cos i do not know anymore says:

    ….Have you been skiing on any slopes?????…not a clue,never knew,wot else?

  266. 266
    Rebel with a cause says:

    …More reason,as if it were needed,to vote UKIP at every opportunity!..It is not a wasted vote!

  267. 267
    Nopublicitypls says:

    Fatty Ambridge is long GONE – RIP

  268. 268
    Von Clegg says:

    Gay dog marriages for 2015

  269. 269
    Gordon McBroon says:

    Bit of Advice…
    always sleep with one eye open…

  270. 270
    33deg says:

    Osiris to the stars

  271. 271
    Von Clegg says:

    Do NOT, repeat DO NOT Re-TX on all frequencies

  272. 272
    C O (Ξ7r1) says:

    @OR: The left has been the end of the political spectrum to support slavery.

    The left in the US were most vehemently opposed to the reforms puts through by the right at the time. It is only recently that the lunatic section of the left found support and moved over to the right, subsequently allowing the misinformation to be put about that it is the right which supports rac!sm.

    The UK itself did quite a lot to stamp the practice out and indeed reformed its colonies to neo-liberal where most other powers allowed prevented theirs from being developed.

    Like Dan’s work, but not when he is writing complete and utter unmitigated shit. My polemic against him is purely a demonstration of the exercise of free speech as per what NWA were doing in their work, and for some of the same reasons: A protest against a mindset that would seek to oppress.

    @BW: The commies operate in an philosophically restricted and contradicted space – as do much of what could now be described as the dogmatic left. (As the slightly more enlightened left are headed towards UKIP, and away from Labour right now). The UK needs to put its back in the box and prepare for renewed long term conflict with those to the East.

  273. 273
    Lefty "I'll say anything if it'll get me coverage" wanker speaking there says:

    Thinking of living in a multi culti shit hole run by un elected commies in Brussels?

    Have a quick check on what they are saying on

  274. 274
    Gordon brown says:

    British jobs for British workers

  275. 275
    David Cameron says:

    Illegal immigrants go home.

  276. 276
    C O (Ξ7r1) says:

    If it is the right who are rac!st, why was it that Labour relaxed the oversight and encouraged more police stop and search of coloured’s in the UK – particularly in London – during their last term in power 1997 through 2010 ?

    The events of 9-11 were seized on particularly to advance that divisive policy.

    This has recently been address by May, and about time to.

    The holy grail of the left’s reasoning – the Brixton riots – it should be remembered these occurred after the social conditions had been eroded sharply by a previous Labour government on those estates.

    The Thatcher government had to clean that mess up, and as it did so it did not point out the obvious partisan political elements which were largely responsible for causing the disturbances and perpetuating some of the myths of those events through the media.

    The response of that government – addressing social inequality – was repaid by Labour with the smears that led to the Conservative party being branded nasty.

    UKIP – as a breath of fresh air – is required in politics.

  277. 277
    The two Muppets says:

    You can also say the white man in the woodpile.

  278. 278
    DerrIn Brown is a leech , a wood tick and a mosquito all wrapped into a pint-size dwarf says:

    Clifford the creep banged up. Hoorah!

  279. 279
    Ockham's Razor says:

    Yes. Do you remember Bernie Grant?

    A grant is something which is given away for nothing. We should have given him away.

  280. 280
    Today's menu says:

    Those naughty Australians make and sell a delicious brand of cheddar under the name “C**n”. I wonder if the jaws, yyds, spix, wh0gs and frogs know that?

    ** = oo

  281. 281
    Ockham's Razor says:

    Poland set to replace Scotland in UK in event of Yes vote

    The British Government has revealed that preliminary talks have taken place with their Polish counterparts this week which could pave the way for Poland to replace Scotland as part of the UK, should the Yes campaign win the day in September’s referendum. Whitehall sources confirmed today that Polish Ministers visited the country at an open viewing last Sunday afternoon and are expected to put in a bid.

    Polish Minister Jerzy Borowicz told us, ‘we had a good look round and really liked it, we’re having a survey carried out tomorrow. It’s a bit run down and in need of refurbishment but fortunately a lot of our tradesmen are there already and could fix the place up in a jiffy, its definitely got potential’. He went on to add, ‘we’ve been looking for somewhere new for a while now, we’ve had some real trouble with the neighbours in the past 100 years or so, it went quiet for a while but lately they’ve been getting a bit antisocial again’.

    The move has attracted unexpected support from UKIP’s Nigel Farage who said, ‘most of them are already here anyway so what’s the difference, let’s face it they can’t be any worse neighbours than the Scots, I went up to Edinburgh last year and they set upon me like a pack of wolves, the bastards. You can say what you want about the Poles but at least you can still smoke in their pubs’. Conservative MP Rupert Fanshaw echoed these sentiments when asked if he felt that the English would welcome Poland moving in next door, ‘The Poles have a really poor health record, they drink too much, can be very aggressive and you can’t understand word they say, so we probably won’t notice much difference’.

    Meanwhile Alex Salmond is remaining tight lipped on a possible move but Angus Donald of the Scottish Government told us ‘we’re not sure where we would move to, we would probably rent at first and live off the interest until something nice comes up, somewhere hot for a change, see if it improves our national outlook. We hear that Ukraine could be on the market soon but their neighbours are even bigger tossers than the English so perhaps not there’.

    h/t newsbiscuit

  282. 282
    Idon'tneednodoctor says:

    Wasn’t it Harman who uttered the words “ginger rodent”. Isn’t that offensive. Should Harman resign?

  283. 283
    C O (Ξ7r1) says:

    Barmy Bernie, who fought rac!sm in part by setting up the Parliamentary Black Caucus in order to segregate the discussion of ethnic issues from the mainstream ?


    But he was factually correct in 1985: The police did get a good hiding.

  284. 284
    Handy-cocky says:

    Im also unfit to brief my Brief(s)

  285. 285
    Max-von-small says:

    I am not at liberty to divulge the whereabouts of anything which may incriminate me further.

  286. 286
    Idon'tneednodoctor says:

    How much did the Chilcot Inquiry cost the taxpayer? Has the cost been written off? Chilcot should explain why the inquiry report hasn’t been released. Why aren’t the media asking?

  287. 287
    Idon'tneednodoctor says:

    So it’s o.k. for Harman to say ginger rodent , and to support child sex. Why hasn’t Harman resigned or been sacked?
    Who dropped Clarkson in it?
    I would sooner have Clarkson any day over the hypocritical Harman.

  288. 288
    Jerry-C says:

    let it drop, boy..
    let it drop

    I’ve now apologized…

  289. 289
    VinceyKabal says:

    I agree

  290. 290
    Idiot Inspector says:

    You have passed the complete idiot test. Well done.

  291. 291
    Blue Peter Goldfish says:

    *** BBC Breaking News ***
    Four of the five monkeys stolen in a “targeted” raid at Blackpool Zoo have been found say police. Well where else would you go to steal 5 monkeys?, err.

  292. 292
    Gilbert says:


  293. 293
    honour commitments before frolicks says:

    the car tyre is down, so get a pump. halfords have gone metro but waitrose little is also a metro.
    metro, little or lodl. GPS is the global pumping station. so? GP is the global posirion in general. who is the general? pump up amd energyy is supporting happiness now but it does need a bridge. may be in gloucester road but south ken is on the mark….be natural, all history ends up in the morgue, the mausoleum and the museum. the arty folks are fawkes who go to to the museum.
    they need to loosed loosen the phlegm and ask for the juro removal man, yhe one who will poir the whisky in the drain and give the bottle to some who like it.

  294. 294
    cured lefty says:

    Nail on head

  295. 295
    Anonymous says:

  296. 296
    Anonymous says:

    Labour filth.

  297. 297
  298. 298
    Marie o'Nettiste says:

    The harridan is guilty of hate crimes. Send her down.


    Oh, she’s a lefty … well, in that case she can be deputy leader of the Benefits for Scroungers and Pervs party.

  299. 299
    C O (Ξ7r1) says:

    What kind of people ?

    Look for those who regularly purchase G’uardian to start with…

  300. 300
    Dr Frankenfreud says:

    Harriet Harman is confused

  301. 301
    still, it could be worse says:

    polish food for polish workers! now

  302. 302
    WTF says:

    Blimey that sounds sensible. Who is this guy VladPutin

  303. 303
    Dougal MacDougal of that ilk says:

    Scottish GDP per capita is 20% higher than the UK’s. It has greater public spending because it contributes more in tax. The 2 wealthiest cities in the UK in absolute terms are London, then Edinburgh. The wealthiest regions are London, South East, then Scotland. The poorest region is N Ireland followed by North East and North West England. Glasgow has pickets of poverty but these are much smaller than any in London or Liverpool. The poorest place in Britain and the most subsidised is Tower Hamlets.

  304. 304
    EU Funded Pro-EU Troll says:

    Vote UKIP

  305. 305
    Nick Clegg says:

    Who’s the lucky LibDem?

  306. 306
    TheGovernor says:

    Dont worry Max – work on the Book

  307. 307
    TheGovernor says:

    Tip No:1

    When reporting Sick in the morning, avoid the aspirin water.

    Tip No:2
    Lend no one nothing! You wont get it back.

    Tip No:3
    All phone calls are recorded, even those to your Brief

    Tip no:4
    Wathc out for a Gate Arrest – its a bummer.

  308. 308
    Nick Clegg says:

    When Leon Brittan was EU Trade commissioner, I got a job in an office.

  309. 309
    Someone else says:

    She did more than just that.

  310. 310
    TheGovernor says:

    Tories, limpdems, consigned to history for years to come.

  311. 311
    Jeremy Clarkson says:

    “I want to state very clearly that I absolutely did NOT say the word I didn’t say.

    In fact I deliberately made sure I repeatedly didn’t say the word I didn’t say until I was absolutely sure I hadn’t said it.

    I can say with absolute certainty that the word I wasn’t supposed to say was NOT at any time said by me during the time I was not repeatedly saying it.

    And if anyone who says the word I didn’t say was said by me listens carefully to the video of me not saying the word I wasn’t supposed to say, they will very clearly hear me repeatedly not saying the word I didn’t say until I was sure I hadn’t said the word.

    Which was a word not said by me and which I clearly didn’t say.

    I hope this statement clears up any confusion.

    Thank you.”

  312. 312
    and says:

    He was a Labour supporter.

  313. 313
    Fact Hunt says:

    Old Bernie was once asked what his position was on defence. His answer was ‘paint it with de creosote’.

  314. 314
    Bloomers in rain-soaked Bongo Bongo Land says:

    Don’t be daft.

  315. 315
    Broker's report says:

    I see no problem with this proposal at all. We should dig a trench at the border, except where the Tweed already does the job for us, then a few powerful tugs can tow them around to the Baltic, hitch up the others and tow them back. One will then be able to drive from Berwick-upon-Tweed (as it will still remain in name) to Kraków in a similar time to that which it took for us to drive to Edinburgh. Might give a thought to leaving the distilleries behind, though…

    Out of consideration to the Baltic States, we could tow Scotland a bit further than necessary so that they act as a buffer zone between them and Russia. That should buy us a few more votes from them in the European Parliament for the short time we remain a member and the Scots will, no doubt, feel more at home next to the Bolsheviks.

    I see no reason why we should not leave the Western and Northern Isles where they are. In fact, I don’t think the highlands like the Central Belt that much either, nor the north lowlands, so we may still be able to enjoy the Trossachs and Loch Lomond as before, even if they have to be shifted a bit to one side to make room for our new neighbours.

    Without the Barnet Formula impoverishing the English any more, we could eliminate alcohol duty overnight and thus enjoy both reasonably priced Whiskey and Vodka (though preferably not at the same time.)

    They can even keep General Wade’s roads to remind them of the irony that it took an Englishman to get them organised.

    Only a few potential drawbacks. Buckfast will go into receivership unless its product can simply be relabelled as paint stripper (the Poles will appreciate that) and Mars will find their sales will drop substantially as all the deep fried consumers will have gone overnight. Small price to pay, really…

    Oh! Just in case there was any doubt, we can use the old Antonine Wall as demarcation as the Trossachs are still really lowlands. That will keep the Great Glen intact and those pension funds that Gordon Brown did not manage to piss away, can stay in Perth without worry.

    But Fife has to go, or at least the bit from North Queensferry round to Kirkcaldy. Essential!

    And we want all the money paid to the Maximum Imbecile, pay and expenses, returned due to his failing to even appear at the House whilst he swans round the world addressing the Imbecilic Diaspora who are daft enough to pay to listen to him.

    All in all, a very worthy proposal and we recommend it to our clients.

  316. 316
    Casual Observer 2 says:


    Your popularity will soar.

  317. 317
    Clarkson's lawyer says:

    You mustn’t say figgot or nagger!

  318. 318
    Broker's report says:


  319. 319
    Expat Geordie says:

    As a warning to Scots who probably want to stay in the union, or don’t care too much either way, may I post a warning from recent history.

    The island of Malta was being prepared for independence after WWII. The British had made Maltese an official language alongside English in 1935, admittedly to help head off Italian influence, and Maltese people were entitled to British passports. In 1964 Britain granted independence, and almost immediately certain hard-line nationalist politicians claimed all the credit for this.

    The new Maltese government now gave the population a choice, they could either keep their British passport, or they could have a Maltese passport. In an act of blatant political (or possibly ethnic) cleansing, anyone choosing to keep a British passport was required to leave the country. Therefore Malta’s best and brightest emigrated, leaving only the highly religious and backward behind. (Malta is a Catholic country.)

    Although English remained and still remains an official language, the standard of teaching is not great, and the other official language, Maltese, is only spoken in Malta, so prospects for native Maltese to progress are limited. Comparisons with Scots Gaelic and Afrikaans are purely intentional.

    In 1974 Malta became a republic, and in 1979 expelled the British armed forces who were still based there, and who provided a substantial boost to the local economy. Malta turned its back on the civilised world, and sought to have strong diplomatic relations with the Soviet Union, China, Libya (understandable as they are a near neighbour) and North Korea. Elections were characterised by large scale ballot rigging, in one case with 7000 ballot papers being found washed up on a beach. Both parties also ran their own death squads, but these were not particularly effective.

    In 1981 the Times of Malta reported that 300 British mercenaries were going to invade. This was scaremongering, but in 1984 the opposition National Party did approach British mercenaries to launch attacks on government installations and assassinate the prime minister, Dom Mintoff, who was also leader of the socialist Maltese Labour Party. Mintoff resigned and the plot was cancelled, with the National Party coming back into power in 1987, and bringing Malta back in from the cold.

    So, if Scotland votes Yes, what might happen in 10 years? Gaelic will be the official first language. English/non-Gaelic speakers will be victimised and possibly expelled, as will unionists and possibly Protestants. The best and brightest will certainly leave. The Scottish Socialist Utopia will probably make friends with some very unsavoury characters – expect Kim Jong-Un’s first overseas visit to be to Edinburgh – and will leave the club of civilised nations. Private property will be expropriated by the state when the oil runs out, or when they lose the wherewithal to actually extract what is there (think farms in Rhodesia/Zimbabwe) as the technicians leave due to government harassment.

    And will it follow Malta’s example and come out of the cold? Probably not. Malta has a good climate that encourages tourism and a friendly native people. Scotland has neither.

  320. 320
    Winston Clarkson says:

    you can say ‘the wigger in the noodpile’, which is odd… it’s about time the government made Spoonerisms a capital offence. It must also be made illegal to think of new words for things that are already illegal to say, until there are no more words left if necessary. How many fingers am I holding up?

    …and no, “left wing” does not mean ‘pious hypocritical cryptofascist wanker’, it means only positive things that are lovely and nice and normal.

  321. 321
    Harriet's Psychiatrist says:

    I’m sure Broadmoor could make some room.

  322. 322
    Expat Geordie says:

    If that is the case let’s just refer to it by its proper name – Operation Chastise.

    With luck, Mad Hattie might think that it has something to do with PIEs.

  323. 323
    Max Clifford's tiny cock says:

    Nah, i got away with that one earlier on…

  324. 324
    Democracy Now says:

    Just arrest them and ban thier candidate. The Labour Party, in many parts of the UK, is a criminal conspiracy to subvert, nay, destroy, democracy.

  325. 325
    Broker's report says:

    I see no problem with this proposal at all. We should dig a trench at the border, except where the Tweed already does the job for us, then a few powerful tugs can tow them around to the Baltic, hitch up the others and tow them back. One will then be able to dri’ve from Berwick-upon-Tweed (as it will still remain in name) to Kraków in a similar time to that which it took for us to dr’ive to Edinburgh. Might give a thought to leaving the distilleries behind, though…

    Out of consideration to the Baltic States, we could tow Scotland a bit further than necessary so that they act as a buffer zone between them and Russia. That should buy us a few more votes from them in the European Parliament for the short time we remain a member and the Scots will, no doubt, feel more at home next to the Bolsheviks.

    I see no reason why we should not leave the Western and Northern Isles where they are. In fact, I don’t think the highlands like the Central Belt that much either, nor the north lowlands, so we may still be able to enjoy the Trossachs and Loch Lomond as before, even if they have to be shifted a bit to one side to make room for our new neighbours.

    Without the Barnet Formula impoverishing the English any more, we could eliminate alcohol duty overnight and thus enjoy both reasonably priced Whiskey and Vodka (though preferably not at the same time.)

    They can even keep General Wade’s roads to remind them of the irony that it took an Englishman to get them organised.

    Only a few potential drawbacks. Buckfast will go into rec’eivership unless its product can simply be relabelled as paint stripper (the Poles will appreciate that) and Mars will find their sales will drop substantially as all the deep fried consumers will have gone overnight. Small price to pay, really…

    Oh! Just in case there was any doubt, we can use the old Antonine Wall as demarcation as the Trossachs are still really lowlands. That will keep the Great Glen intact and those pension funds that Gordon Brown did not manage to piss away, can stay in Perth without worry.

    But Fife has to go, or at least the bit from North Queensferry round to Kirkcaldy. Essential!

    And we want all the money paid to the Maximum Imbecile, pay and expenses, returned due to his failing to even appear at the House whilst he swans round the world addressing the Imbecilic Diaspora who are daft enough to pay to listen to him.

    All in all, a very worthy proposal and we recommend it to our clients.

  326. 326
    Expat Geordie says:

    Rochdale, Northampton, Dunstable, Coventry, Dewsbury…

  327. 327
    U Kip If You Want To says:

    “For years, those of us who have supported mass migration, and believed in the social and economic benefits its brings, deluded ourselves.”

    ‘Mass’ migration? Why ‘mass’? Why would anyone ‘support’ ‘mass’ migration?

  328. 328
    STOP THE BBC! says:

    The BBC is the platform for it… if we’re legally forced to pay for it, then we have a right to speek arr branes on it, in full DailyMailReader style.

    Especially, when we are legally obliged to be snitches, East German style:

    “(3)A person with a television receiver in his possession or under his control who
    (b)knows, or has reasonable grounds for believing, that another person intends to install or use it in contravention of that subsection,is guilty of an offence.


  329. 329
    Do me another says:

    I suppose your a multimillionaire and can afford to pay LibLabCon taxes or are you just a brainless twit, who can’t think for himself and rely on someone to think for you.

  330. 330
    There's the RIGHT wing; and then there's the WRONG wing. says:

    HEAR HEAR to this”

    “the left,who are spiteful,selfish,bullying,dim,humourless,precious,sensitive creatures,whose time should be confined to the lockers of history,as they constantly try to bring people down..”

    They are just so full of hate… self-hate, and hate for those who love freedom.

  331. 331
    Expat Geordie says:

    I’ve lifted the following quote directly from the Army Rumour Service. Very true, and I particularly like the bit about “bell” at the end.

    “It all depends on what you’re outraged by I guess…

    The “N” word is never acceptable to use – in public or otherwise – but I don’t see a difference in him using it in a nursery rhyme, referring to nobody specifically …compared to (lets say) 95% of rappers who actively use it in their songs, referring to somebody hypothetically. Well, apart from the fact that Clarkson is white and therefore being r@cist.

    Despite that, he should know better.

    Regardless – his “credibility account” is still in the black for twatting Piers Morgan. And as such, it will take a serious amount of bellthronkery to go overdrawn in my book.”

  332. 332
    There's the RIGHT wing; and then there's the WRONG wing. says:

    …and of course, hate for those who dare to disagree with them and their big lies

  333. 333
    EeeYepBlowing Whistles says:

    let me try one – the vast majority of rabbis are living and promoting an Israeli lie.

  334. 334
    Military Watch says:

    Let’s hope the British Army is taking notes.

    They will be having to go into these former English towns eventually.

  335. 335
    Niggaz With Platitudes says:

    Absolutely… let’s here the feigned outrage for the NWA rap industry

  336. 336
    Niggaz With Platitudes says:

  337. 337
    Niggaz With Platitudes says:

    Fockin’ get over it… it’s just a word… and only an English word

  338. 338
    All excellent reasons for the Jocks to Fuck Off says:

    Can’t happen soon enough.

  339. 339
    Niggaz With Platitudes says:

    I’m soooo fockkkin offfenddedd on behalf of people who aren’t or don’t care.

  340. 340
    A BBC Press Release: The Next Season of 'Top Gear' says:

    Jeremy and the boys team up with Harriet Hatesmenperson’s wife to ride the Niger and discover where it comes out.

  341. 341
    Niggaz With Platitudes says:

    Yee Haw!

  342. 342
    Niggaz With Platitudes says:

  343. 343
    Carol Thatcher says:

    Was it Adrien Chiles, is Chiles the snitch, making public what is a private matter?

  344. 344

    Will the EU now say sorry for orchestrating that Political coop in Ukraine and as result bringing about many deaths?

  345. 345
    Niggaz With Platitudes says:

    UKIP – Underdogs Knockout Incompetent Perverts

    …rise up, children of the left, before the red smog is blown away!

  346. 346
    Niggaz With Platitudes says:

    British nobs for British wankers

  347. 347
    Smash the NWO says:

    It wasn’t a blunder, but a deliberate act of nation wrecking sabotage by the anti-nation state globalists.

  348. 348
    C.O.Jones says:

    The children of the left are too busy vying for safe seats.

    Oh and vote UKIP.

  349. 349
    Niggaz With Platitudes says:

    Disabled Muslim Transexual Lesbian Niger Dog Marriage EU Threesomes, vote Tory.

  350. 350
    C.O.Jones says:

    They seem to forget that Russia has a sphere of influence that has been eroded for many years by the EU and America.
    The clowns in Brussels will lead us into an unnecessary conflict that our children will pay for no purpose other than their ignorance of history.

  351. 351
    C.O.Jones says:

    That should be “for for” for the pedants. :)

  352. 352
    EeeYepBlowing Whistles says:

    Grateful thanks to the person who tipped me off about the below link – first thoughts were obviously – they’re selling off their B/S – and the first comment proved it.

  353. 353
    Nigel "I'll say anything if it'll get me coverage" Farage speaking there says:

    A three-day Tube strike will go ahead as no further talks have been organised to take place between the RMT Union and London Underground (LU).

    Members will go on strike for 72 hours from 21:00 BST on 5 May over plans to close ticket offices and cut 960 jobs.

    Hear ! Hear !

  354. 354
  355. 355
    Ockham's Razor says:

    For heaven’s sake. Are you trying to scare them?

    We want rid! ;-)

    The Law of Unintended Consequences hit Malta as you correctly identify. The problem for Scotland here is they actually want to be a member country of the EU.

    There is considerable doubt about that. If they followed Malta’s awful example, the ‘considerable’ would descend to absolute.

  356. 356
    C O (Ξ7r1) says:

    Before anyone uses that compost, it should be checked.

    In North America many schemes involving municipalities producing compost from recycled waste ended up producing compost that had very high levels of heavy metal and dioxin pollutants within.

    The problem was caused by the folk not separating their recyclables mainly, but was not helped by the producers not bothering to do any quality control either.

    Beware councils bearing free gifts – even if they are giving away shit. There must be a reason why that material has not found a commercial buyer, and it would not surprise me if the environmentalists in the UK kept more quiet about potential fuck ups they are responsible for.

  357. 357
    Expat Geordie says:

    Malta finally joined the EU in 2004, and adopted the Euro in 2008. Most of the Maltese that I spoke to on my most recent visit want out. They also want to stick big signs up on the islands with the words “Italy that way – now go away” (or words to that effect) for all the Africans who are washing up on their shores. Interestingly, many of the older ones are saying that they were better off when we were in charge.

  358. 358
    Edgy Foreign Policy says:

    Send Gordon Brown to poo on and headbutt people in Kaliningrad.

  359. 359
    Banned says:

    Peadough ?

  360. 360
    Thank you says:

    Cameron is a bellend. :-D

  361. 361
    Not Blowing Whistles says:

    The vast majority of Israeli rabbis are in denial about their future important role in supplying G’ermany with gas.

  362. 362
    Anonymous says:

    If the clowns in Brussels lead us into an unnecessary conflict with Russia, I have not the slightest doubt they will be overthrown.

    Sizeable parts of Europe are already a simmering cauldron of discontent. It won’t take much to light the fuse.

  363. 363
    MEPing for Dummies says:

    To rubber stamp the new laws and shit which are fed down from the unelected executive, in order to provide a politburo thin veneer of democracy on the de[facto dictatorship which is the EU.

  364. 364
    C O (Ξ7r1) says:

    The fuse was lit some time ago. It has been burning very slowly.

  365. 365
    Anonymous says:

    Gavin Barwell MP ‏has been trolling Ukippers again. He attacked a member of the public because she had just got her membership card through the post. Gavin Barwell MP then started screaming raaacists et al.

    Too embarrassed for Gavin Barwell MP to post the exchange here. He’s lost the plot.

  366. 366
    Podiceps says:

    Why on earth should you be embarrassed for an MP? Disgust, contempt, anger I understand, but not a desire to shield one of these vile creatures.

  367. 367
    Expat Geordie says:

    Watch the 1966 film “The Sand Pebbles”, set in China during the 1930’s. Plenty of references to “slopes” in that. Or the Vietnam War film “Hamburger Hill” (1987) and the line: “Those of you who are foolish with think of him as Gook, Slope, Slide or Dink…”

    So every time Clarkson was doing a powerSLIDE he was being r@cist. Who knew?

  368. 368
    Podiceps says:

    You can light a fuse under a cauldron but it won’t make it either boil or bang.

  369. 369
    Anonymous says:

  370. 370
    A Pole says:

    Silly, there are four Polish food shops within 3 km of me. Now excuse me while I polish off this kiełbasa.

  371. 371
    Anonymous says:

    Good point,do apologise.

  372. 372
    Playing tonight in Wandsworth after lights out with Max Clifford says:

  373. 373
    Hemiteleia says:

    Where are the masters of good old rhyming cockney slang? – or have they been eradicated by the vile PC brigade?

    Anyway, – a jigga of rye to you all – or catcher in the rye

  374. 374
    From the horses mouth says:

    Dan Hodges needs to start listening proper gangsta, dig ?

  375. 375
    Braveheart says:

    The Scottish Labour Party’s leaflet for the European Parliament Election includes a verbographic with a whole series of promises to “Create Apprenticeships”, “Pay Living Wage”, “Support Local Workers”, “End Zero Hour Contracts” and


    Are we to expect a return of the window tax?

  376. 376
    Expat Geordie says:

    I’ve been caught out by that in the past but don’t know the reason why? Any ideas? Did our host get a ban or something?

  377. 377
    You Don't . . says:

    . . . mean big bl@ck cock do you? – she’d run a mile surely

  378. 378
    EeeYepBlowing Whistles says:

    Don’t forget the dickheads Bono and Geldof – who know sweet FA about politics other than they thought they could enhance their ‘self and worth’ by being seen next to a few of ‘em. Dickheaded ‘Celebrities’ [take note Celeb’s] used for their subintelligence of the darker arts of politics.

  379. 379
    Let's hear it for Jezza says:

    Agree – and I think the fallout is pointing more votes to wards UKIP – all to the good.

  380. 380
    Mad Hatty says:

    I swear on my specially machined sanitary knickers that that is not the case.

  381. 381
    EeeYepBlowing Whistles says:

    The powers that be are desperate to – create and promote division between black and white – it has been one of their most divisive tools for the past 7 and more decades – where black and white are pitted against one another … while the ptb – laugh at us all.

  382. 382
    EeeYepBlowing Whistles says:

    p.s. Governments lie – that’s what they do – when there are no proper lawful checks and balances on them.

    Transparency is a much abused word.

  383. 383
    Oakington says:

    Assisted repatriation was provided for in Part IV (Supplementary) of 1973 Immigration Act at S29, under the rubric “29 Contributions for expenses of persons returning abroad.”

    This provision was repealed (as at 1.4.2003) by 2002 c. 41, ss. 58(5)(a), 161, Sch. 9 (with s. 159); S.I. 2003/754, art. 2, Sch. 1 (with transitional provisions in arts. 3, 4, Sch. 2 (as amended by S.I. 2003/1040 and 2003/1339)).

    In calling for assisted repatiration, Mr Bercow was only asking for what was in fact goernment policy at the time, even if the scheme was shamefully underfinanced.

    The ridiculousness of the situation can be seen in the circumsatnces I personally was involved with in the late 1990s where a family of destitute failed asylum seekers who wanted to go home were told they could only be asssisted to leave, ie be put on a plane back, if they could make thier own way to the airport for voluntary departure: the Immigraiton Service was unable however to send them the money for the bus fare to the airport do this , and the people concerned had to beg to raise the sums needed for the hundred and fifty mile journey themselves.

    In the meantime, they were officially told they could be housed and fed at public expense until such time as the Home office got round to involuntarily removing them, but as their files had been lost somewhere in the backlog, no-one knew how long that would take.

  384. 384
    Fishy says:

    No. I think it means that the Balls’ are going to pay all of the capital gains tax that they avoided with their multiple flipping (not).

  385. 385
    Ethnic Ed says:

    Efnik Izrayli Ed, proving that diversity mean overrepresentation for all minorities (and wimmim), regardless of their lack of ability

  386. 386
    I said Niger says:

    Niger is next to Nigeria, and shares the Niger River, derived from Latin niger. I bet they have quite a spellchecking operation over at the English-speaking embassies over there.

  387. 387
    Duke of Gloucester Road says:

    Curse of Ed Miliband – visits Bristol, travels up Gloucester Road, poses for photographs. Next day Bristol Rovers are relegated.

  388. 388
    Urine Trouble says:

    Yes, for driνing while drυnk. So we can’t use either word (or bankrυpt, another episode in his chequered past). So every time we use these harmless words by accident we are forcibly reminded of what Guido has done, which otherwise would be long forgotten. So silly.

  389. 389
    Somerset says:

    Serves Bristol ight for entertaining Miliband’s shonky Labourism in its midst.

  390. 390
    I said Niger says:

    Yes. Niger is next to Nigeria, and shares the Niger River, derived from Latin niger. I bet they have quite a spellchecking operation over at the English-speaking embassies over there.

  391. 391
    Max Clifford's tiny cock says:

    Na na na na na na na na batman…BATMAN..!!!!!!!!!

  392. 392
    ego sum non satis nigrum says:

    Tace! Mentula.

  393. 393
    EeeYepBlowing Whistles says:

    What degree of lunacy has Clifford attained 3, 7 ….. or what ‘cos his acting like a madman is indicative of a man in much fucking distress!!! fuck him and his fellows of society.

  394. 394
    EeeYepBlowing Whistles says:

    in other words Jah, Bu, La, La, La, La, La land bollox, baloney and deception.

    How many p’ a3do Judges are still active in the court system in senior positions?

  395. 395
    qed says:

    Not only that, but they make sure they churn out more frequent polls to keep the averages favourable to the Loser Party and as less unfavourable as possible to the Lost Deposit Party.

  396. 396
    EeeYepBlowing Whistles says:

    If C Booker was part of a ‘free press’ he would be allowed to publish and be damned – he doesn’t so he ain’t of a free press. there ain’t no such thing currently [I] – but the resistance [R] against such power [P] is growing.

    P = IR

    The resistance is fucking growing exponentially – EVERY FUCKING DAY.

  397. 397
    Niggel Garage says:

    Who’d have thunk it.?

    It looks like the guy giving the ‘Farage Wave’ outside the pub in Bath the other day is a paid up actor, Gary Cross has appeared in quite a few ‘other’ BBC productions….

  398. 398
    Batty Hattie says:

    No need to apologise.
    I never did.

  399. 399
    Grab the popcorn says:

    High profile Labour nonce under investigation. Ironic that it’s a Labour MP who’s helping bringing his crimes to light, so credit where it’s due. Even so, it means Blair covered it up, which we knew already. I’m sure that despicable war criminal is already speaking to his lawyers about how best to deny covering it all up. It’ll be another crime he’ll get away with. I hope one day his luck runs out, whether it’s being brought to justice or being struck down with cancer.

  400. 400
    unions sticking it to all the other workers trying to get to work says:

    Sack ‘em all, and replace ‘em with robots.

    Good focking riddance.

  401. 401
    Ed Moribund says:

    Plans to cut 960 non jobs.

    There. Corrected it for you

  402. 402
    Why do female criminals always turn on the waterworks? says:

    Watching a police reality show, two teenage girls who stole a car are caught and immediately start crying and one of them even says “I want my mum”. Why is it female crooks think turning on the waterworks will get them off the hook? Pathetic.

  403. 403
    Harriet Harman says:

    Because it usually works?

  404. 404
    albacore says:

    Is it just me, in advanced senility
    Or is Windows 8 as crap as it could be?
    They reckon that Vista let Micro$oft down
    Who commissioned 8 – surely not Gordon Brown?

  405. 405
    Seperatist says:


  406. 406
    EeeYepBlowing Whistles says:

    Your neck of the woods i know – see 353 below.

  407. 407
    Anonymous says:
  408. 408
    EeeYepBlowing Whistles says:

    Where’s that two-faced chunt Greg Dyke these days – that fucking lying bastard who got a nice fucking pay off from the BBC – gagging clause included

    He took the money and ran – rather than be honest – fucking 2-faced chunt.

  409. 409
    EeeYepBlowing Whistles says:

    So he’s been coached by his common purpose leadership gurus then; and is ‘ONLY NOW’ ready …

    Don’t forget to cite article 8 your right to a private life Dave – – you fucking moron.

  410. 410
    Sir Alan says:

    Pissed again Pete?

  411. 411
    A Tulip says:

    Geert Wilders is making political overtures to Nigel Farage reagrding an anti-EU alliance.


  412. 412
    Ethelred says:

    Sadly, it’s Merkel you should have been ready for but she’s already shot your fox.

  413. 413
    Athelstan says:

    Ignore him Nigel. You don’t need any more Tory voters. Those who are coming to you are already coming to you and don’t need to see you wipe the floor with Cameron. He’s history.

    It’s Miliband you need to crush next.

  414. 414
    Calamity Clegg, Chief Cockroach says:


  415. 415
    Figel Narage says:

    Eurovision next week, nil points UK, Eastern European win, douze points UKIP….

  416. 416
    Podiceps says:

    Windows 8 was designed to look nice
    To kids just beyond Fisher-Price,
    But its evil SmartScreen,
    So sneaky and mean,
    Informs Gates of your porn-browsing vice.

  417. 417
    EeeYepBlowing Whistles says:

    That you expat. P l o n k e r.

  418. 418
    Podiceps says:

    Go forth to your constituencies and come fifth.

  419. 419
    Diane Fatbott says:

    FUCK OFF !!

  420. 420
    EeeYepBlowing Whistles says:

    Did you mention ‘Freedom of Expression’ or does that phrase not register at present?

  421. 421
    Mad, Bad & Dangerous Gordon McRuin ( Member in absentia ) says:

  422. 422
    Do me another says:

    Stop being nice, what next signs over entrances to caravan sites, “work and exercise makes you free”, he should know better.

  423. 423
    2 x Wrong =/ Right says:

    Only if they haven’t got a kid. If they’ve got a kid they don’t have to bother…unless they’ve done something really serious like defrauding a bank or
    assaulting a judge.

  424. 424
    Goldfinger says:

    7.3 Billion reasons to arrest Gordon Brown for malfeasance in public office.

    So why don’t you do it?

  425. 425
    'Gypsy' Dave Cooper says:

    Vote Conservative? Are you mad? Where have you been man?

  426. 426
    Utterly Butterly says:

    I don’t believe the Labour support can really be that high.

  427. 427
    'Gypsy' Dave Cooper says:

    No contest.

  428. 428
    cheche says:

    And Diane says

  429. 429
    Litter Patrol says:

    Remember to send all the ukrap leaflets back to:


  430. 430
    Anonymous says:

    I like our @independent cartoon today #UKIP— Felicity Morse (@FelicityMorse) April 28, 2014

  431. 431
    'Gypsy' Dave Cooper says:

    Is that what it has come to, how sad.

  432. 432
    Anonymous says:

    The few old ones who haven’t died of AIDS in Zimbabwe express the same opinion.

    But, hell, do you know what – fuck ‘em – that’s what they voted for. Africa- great place to visit. Zimbabwe, great place for a few days up at Vic Falls. Back in the late 1980s I seriously considered buying a place for fuck-all dollars up at Vic Falls. My company would have flown me there as my home base but Comrade Bob simply refuses to die. Even Satan doesn’t want the c*unt.

    I was there last year for the first time in almost 20 years. The place, having abandoned all pretence at managing its own currency, is actually on the ‘up’. But now, with my kids only a year or two from university, there is no reason to be there except as short-term visitor.

    I spent years in black Africa and it makes me fucking well weep to see the ideological incompetence and corruption.

    It makes you ‘grateful’ for the relatively low-grade incompetence and corruption of UK politics. Tony Blair is a pauper compared to Robert Mugabe or Jacob Zuma.

    If Robert Mugabe had to get by on Tony Blair’s paltry income he’d slit his own throat.

  433. 433
    jgm2 says:


    That was me.

  434. 434
    Banned Broadcast??????? says:

  435. 435
    Podiceps says:

    It no longer works because UKIP’s Freepost contract has been hastily ended by mutual agreement. But what incredible nastiness it has brought out in the supporters of the Evil Empire, whatever their party. It will strengthen the resolve of decent people to get the mofos out and dump them on the scrapheap where they belong.

  436. 436
    RSPCA Mongoose Division Regional Inspector(South East) says:

    Quite cruel the way they keep going on in the song about selling Mongoose in the market. Were they kept in humane conditions one wonders…? I doubt it. How would they like to be put in a wicker basket and subjected to cries of “HUMANS! Humans for sale.”

  437. 437
    Telegraph says:

    No comments allowed on Dan’s article

  438. 438
    Herman & José, the EU double act that has you rolling in the aisle in excruciating pain says:

    “HUMANS! Humans for sale.” That’s our line. You will be hearing from our storm-troopers shortly.

  439. 439
    Rhody Dendron says:

    jgm2 – describes my experience too. I spent 10 years in that area in the 1980s/early 90s and just watched what was once a magnificent part of the world to be in fall apart thanks to the likes of Mugabe, Zuma, Kaunda et al.

    Such a pity, but I fear those days will never return.

  440. 440
    The view from the north of England says:

    He just heard Man U got thumped again!

  441. 441
    Up the polls says:

    … and according to their latest poll (splashed all over the SundaySun – of course!) UKIP is a party which “attracts” racists and bigots.

    Oh the shame!

    Vote UKIP – and tell Murdoch and his minions to get stuffed.

  442. 442
    5th column executive area says:

    Yes, who was the cvnt in the BBC editing suite that got its knickers in a twist? It should be sacked today for leaking privileged information to the Press – like what the cops got done for.

  443. 443
    albacore says:

    How are the mighty fallen, alas and alack
    Reduced, at last, to sending UKIP leaflets back
    Still, Miliband and Cameron, thus occupied
    Won’t be making other mischief – that’s the plus side

  444. 444
    Up the Polls says:

    … and according to their latest poll (splashed all over the SundaySun – of course!) UKIP is a party which “attracts” racists and bigots.

    Oh the shame!

    Vote UKIP – and tell Murdoch and his minions to get stuffed.

  445. 445
    Nigel "I'll say anything if it'll get me coverage" Farage speaking there says:

    Peers in House of Lords among those to face child sex abuse probe

    Hear ! Hear !

  446. 446
    10north says:

    It is a tainted brand now and lives, post-Savile, in a coccoon of unreality..

    Perhaps it always has done.

  447. 447
    Niggaz With Platitudes says:

    It would be quite an innovation if we all had an anti-vote, so you could actively vote against the Labour Potty

  448. 448
    Niggaz With Platitudes says:

    We need a fleet of cruise ships solely for the purpose of mass deportation, they can be “housed” on those, and anchored at a safe distance.

  449. 449
    Niggaz With Platitudes says:

    There’s no such thing as race. There’s no such thing as racism.

    Race > Racism > Racist
    Creation > Creationism > Creationist

  450. 450
    Niggaz With Platitudes says:

    Lost Deposit Party, going for 6th behind the 8NP!

  451. 451
    Niggaz With Platitudes says:

    Yeah, how much did they put Nick Leeson away for?

  452. 452
    Niggaz With Platitudes says:

    Wow, that’s stickin’ it to the man, aren’t you bwave… do you ring UKIP’s doorbell and run away too, big man?

  453. 453
    Niggaz With Platitudes says:

    What’s a “race”?
    Am I in one? Is there a way of checking which one I’m in?


    What’s a “bigot”? Is that someone who predecides what people are, and refuses to find out what the facts are and question their own beliefs? Hmm… How do I test myself for this?

  454. 454
    Expat Geordie says:

    No, not me this time.

  455. 455
    UKIP 4 ALL says:

    And just imagine what you bullying bigots would do if you ever got real power.

    Imagine the state terror you would happily unleash in your witch hunt to find and destroy your enemies, imagine the concentration camps you would happily build and populate with your ideological enemies. It begins with sending poo through the mail and ends in the usual concentration camps the hate filled left love so much.

  456. 456
    Feel the Vibrancy says:

    Are you suggesting there are a lot of ‘Slammers in the Slammer. Bit prejudiced, don’t you think?

  457. 457
    Blair is best pals with dictators, nonces and terrorists says:

    Apparently Gerry A is being interviewed for up to 17hrs a day, which is splendidly delicious. However, I do hope the officers interviewing him get special protection, because I’m certain Gerry A and Martin McGuinness will get their lovely friends to take revenge on them. I wouldn’t be surprised if mass murdering war criminal and friend to dictators, kiddie fiddlers and terrorists everywhere Tony Blair is on the phone giving advice to the IRA about how to have the cops killed and get away with it. Tony has connections. Isn’t that right, Mr Campbell?

  458. 458
    The most amusing claim ever says:

    The Eurovision SONG Contest is not an actual SONG contest. It is a political; beauty contest ..I will give my next door neighbour 12 points and they will give me 12 points irrespective of how crap the song is and everybody in eastern europe will give Russia 12 points if they know what’s good for ‘em

  459. 459
    The most amusing claim ever says:

    Whatever happened to the last Labour Government’s health initiative….giving pregnant women in “deprived working class areas” £250 to buy fruit and veg ??

  460. 460
    The most amusing claim ever says:

    Not to mention the £118 Billion they leeched from private pension schemes in Brown’s Pension Tax

  461. 461
    Stella Creasy's biscuit and junk food expenses claim form says:

    This is hypocrisy.

  462. 462
    EeeYepBlowing Whistles says:

    Murdoch batting for the Establishments LibLabCon status quo – well who would have guessed that?

  463. 463
    That told him then !! says:

    Rod Liddle in his article in to-day’s Sunday Times says he went up to Newarke to guage people’s views and met a chap he estimated was around 60 who proudly told him that he would be voting UKIP…ER are you are racist then ? asked Rod..Man: “yes..I suppose I am”………

  464. 464
    Historian says:

    Euro Election day, May 22 2014, is the one year anniversary of the murder of Lee Rigby by black musl!m radicals in Woolwich London.

    Folk should remember this day, which itself should be formally marked in memory of a serviceman who lost his life on home soil as a direct result of the UK governments inability to control the movement of people across its borders.

    Euro voting should take this into serious consideration, and Lee’s ultimate, untimely and unjust sacrifice should not be forgotten.

  465. 465
    Anonymous says:

    The Met. Police, when instructed to stop using certain words, started calling them “stills” as in “We’re not allowed to call him a (whatever) but he’s still a (whatever)

  466. 466
    Anonymous says:

    He didn’t use the BBC as a platform for it. He may or may not have said it on a bit of rejected footage which some BBC minion with lefty views stole and leaked to the gutter press.

  467. 467
    Anonymous says:

    “Can you get some spare underwear here quickly, I have followed through.”

  468. 468
    C O (Ξ7r1) says:

    The problem with repatriation is what happens if the government of these people’s country of origin refuse to admit them ?

    Not really our problem, but it would look bad if we were seen to be leaving them in no-mans-land so to speak.

  469. 469
    Off the rails says:

    Labour want to bring back a national cowboy outfit.
    The n-word must be NO.

  470. 470
    Guy Gibson's dog in the woodpile says:

    He calls himself Ellie-May (9) because that’s who he likes to dress up as when he’s getting his keyboard sticky. Just thought you lot would like to know.

  471. 471
    Casual Observer 2 says:

    Naughty. Naughty. All mozzies believe in the religion of peace. It is non PC to say otherwise here, on Twitter, or anywhere. You are not allowed to make any negative comments about them. There is no freedom of thought or speech in our LibLabConner paradise.

  472. 472
    goggzilla says:

    I apologise if I offended. I often find myself guilty of subconscious phallocentric oppression of wimmin.

  473. 473
    Cameron donates more votes to UKIP says:
  474. 474
    Cc says:

    This morning I read that Labour are going to impose “healthy living” on population

    I could cry, who is going to pay for this?

    I own a small business and work 70-80 hour week, every week.

    I have a big “stress belly” and would love to have more time to walk the dog but I am on a state treadmill, paying approx £1000 a week tax.

    I can’t work to pay the state so much and keep myself fit at the same time

    Labour will kill the golden geese

  475. 475
    broderick crawford says:

    ….. or the meat calling the pastry PIE …

  476. 476
    broderick crawford says:

    SNOOKER legend Stephen Hendry has revealed plans to venture outdoors for the first time in his adult life.

    The seven-time world champion was raised by umpires after being abandoned as a baby on the fire escape of a snooker hall.

    Since then he used underground sewer tunnels to travel between match venues before finally retiring to a makeshift dwelling underneath a snooker table.

    “The snooker authorities tell me I have earned my freedom. Now I may go beyond the doors, where I understand my winnings can be exchanged for clothes, food and even a house.”

    Hendry admitted feeling a mixture of excitement and trepidation about his planned venture into ‘Skyland’: “They say the sky is as blue as the blue ball and fields as green as the green ball. A floor not coated in a dull grey carpet but with a material called ‘stone’.

    “I am especially interested to discover flowers, which I understand smell of something other than decades-old cigarette smoke.”

  477. 477
    Historian says:

    There was no statement that M’uslims do not believe in !slam.

    There was no statement that the black radical M’uslims responsible for the murder of Lee Rigby did not believe in !slam.

    There is no implication either that !slam is not a religion of peace.

    However, how !slam delivers that peace may be inferred to involve the killing of non-believers. Those responsible for the killing of Rigby appear to have adopted that interpretation.

  478. 478
    Casual Observer 2 says:

    Got for it Jeremy C.

    Tell the Beeb and all the “I’m outraged on your behalf” PC liberati — TO FUCK OFF

  479. 479
    Anonymous says:

    He took a leaf out of the American gangster unions, Jimmy Hoffa style. Now all he needs is a concrete overcoat to complete the picture.

  480. 480
    Logical Approach says:

    Just give up. Either get a nice well paid and pensioned public sector sinecure, or go on bennies.

  481. 481
    Fruitcake, swivel eyed loon enjoying the utter panic says:

    Brilliant moniker!!!

  482. 482
    broderick crawford says:

    Britain not ready for another day off
    WORKERS are dreading the prospect of another three-day weekend so soon after Easter.

    “I’ll give up my workstation when they pry it from my cold dead fingers”
    The traditional May Day bank holiday has seen millions of employees vow to go into work anyway rather than spend another day at home.

    GP Dr Tom Booker said: “A fortnight after the last one, the grating monotony of my job only just settling into my bones, and I’m expected to drop everything and do nothing? Again?

    “I love a day off as much as anyone, but enough is enough.”

    Account manager Emma Bradford agreed: “It’s just too soon.

    “By scattering bank holidays across spring like confetti, the government is confirming the stereotype of Brits as shiftless, happy-go-lucky time wasters.

    “What’s the matter with them? Do they think we don’t like work?”

    Many have vowed to ignore the holiday, heading to the office to complete vital tasks like reading emails about optimising project workstreams.

    Susan Traherne of Bedford said: “I, for one, won’t spend this bank holiday lying in bed all day watching repeats of Murder, She Wrote and finishing off the kids’ Easter eggs.

    “But that’s because I work in a shop.”

  483. 483
    Jack Dromedary Harriets' Camel says:

    Got that right. The broadcast versiuon was catch a teacher by the (camel) toe if memory serves me correctly and as Jacqui 5 Bellies Smith was a teacher this was deemed fattist. Or sexiest.

  484. 484
    Defo says:

    Someone pls stop these bloody conservative ads about giving us a referendum on europe. I’ve also got a nasty feeling, that once we vote for ukip.. they’ll also betray us. You can’t trust any fu**er. The whole political system needs changing, not just slapping a new coat paint over corrupt policies.

  485. 485
    Modern Britain says:

    Go to work, or complain about days off because the quality of life away from work is so dire.

    Broadcast media is not entertaining enough to count as distraction, the marauding ethnics on the streets and state of the high street has eliminated the possibility of a nice wander down to the shops for the majority, on pain of being a victim of violent crime or accused of a hate crime.

    Modern Britain living the LibLabCon European Dream.

    It would be good if the government could quantify the precise numbers for the net benefits that immigration has brought, and the precise positive benefits of membership of the EU.

    Looking around, the boarded up shops, filthy streets and hostile strange looking folk who do not even speak English properly, are suggesting that such an audit is heavier in red rather than black ink.

    The streets may reflect the ink of such audit as well, soon, as some predicted long ago.

  486. 486
    EeeYepBlowing Whistles says:

    Bought a highly discounted book from a chain store about two years ago.

    THE ACCUSED How far would you go for justice?

    First page:

    “A practising barrister and one of the first black women to sit as a judge in the UK, Constance Briscoe is the author of the bestselling memoires ugly and beyond ugly. Inspired by her first hand experiences in the courtroom, Constance has turned her writing talents to create gritty, page-turning crime fiction. Set in her home territory of South London, The Accused is a gripping, authentic debut backed by an insider’s knowledge of the criminal justice system.”

    She thanked Darley Anderson and Tony Arlige for their help.

    What goes around comes around eh!

  487. 487
    Lord_Hard says:

    Jeremy C – a self centered time waster, who will only pin his flag on his own molehole. He wont support any party, just mumbles in a weird way, not commital of course. Tosser.

  488. 488
    Jack Dromedary Harriets' Camel says:

    Did they ever pay that Indian actress the £1 million she sought for being offended by the offensive reference?

  489. 489
    Jack Dromedary Harriets' Camel says:

    Nadine Milroy-Sloane. Ring any bells?

  490. 490
    Bazzo says:

    S/he’s the only gay in the village – but not in Parliament

  491. 491
    Anonymous says:

    #HappyDays #Conservative Future

  492. 492
    Fruitcake, swivel eyed loon enjoying the utter panic says:

    Watching Farage sitting on the Marr sofa 2 foot from Milliband was akin to a grizzly bear who hadn’t eaten for a fortnight drooling over a little white rabbit.

    He had Clegg as the starter, Ed would be a nice dessert, it’s just a case of getting the proven liar in #10 in for the main course.

    Vote UKIP, get UKIP.

  493. 493
    Lost in the Daily Telegraph says:

    Wasn’t Arlidge shagging her at the time ?

    Was that why she was saying thank you.

  494. 494
    The Growler says:

    Now why would you want to know Fawkesy, has he anything on you? His little black book is in a very safe place snippets being let out as time goes on, that is if you were considered worthy of him digging the dirt on you. It will be interesting to see who is going to be exposed if at all.

  495. 495
    Anonymous says:

    What was Shami Chakrabarti from the “human rights community” advertising on her lapel on the Marr show this morning?

  496. 496
    Socialism is theft says:

    UKIP may or not betray you but you know for a fact that the Tories will, as they have always done.

  497. 497
    The Growler says:

    Ozzy is trying his best, his ambition is may the pound as valuable as the the old Italian Lira.

  498. 498
    Village Idiot says:

    … you not feel the zeightgeist?…A bit more belief,it is all we have got?

  499. 499
    Tom Watson says:

    If you’re wondering why there isn’t a new thread yet, it’s because I’ve kidnapped Guido and I’m torturing him by farting repeatedly in a windowless room, having had a massive vindaloo last night.

  500. 500
    Vlad the Loudhailer says:

    Ed Milliband on Andrew Marr show was a slow motion car crash of the highest order.

  501. 501
    Tom Watson says:

    I’ve now eaten a chili beef burrito and I’m farting right into his face.

  502. 502
    Socialism is theft says:

    Everybody is a ‘racist’ in one form or other depending on how racism is now defined. Some are just more honest it about than others. Once it was about race now it is about anything that the politically correct say it is. Who gave them the right to redefine the English language?

  503. 503
    Lib-lab-con-men says:

    Bunch of fu**tards – “led” by the king of the gay-goblins

  504. 504
    Expat Geordie says:

    Sort of BW. When I lived in Bournemouth I was banned from Milhams Tip because I had a “commercial” vehicle. It was actually a Corsa van that I bought for taking out the dog that I “inherited” when my ex left me – messy animals dogs, and exes. When the dog died I bought a Ford Focus which could actually carry more in the back than the Corsa, and which I’m sure would have been allowed into Milhams if I was still living there.

    Let’s just say that because I and several others were denied the use of services for which we had paid, certain items got disposed of in an unorthodox manner. See my comment (currently 320) on Malta for another example of the Law of Unintended Consequences.

  505. 505
    I defy anyone to watch/listen to this and not laugh says:

  506. 506
    Blue Peter Goldfish says:

    Shouldn’t that be Happy Gays!, are here again?.

  507. 507
    Wake up says:

    No, Jacob Rees Mogg, the solution for YOU is to join UKIP.

  508. 508
    Do me another says:

    After a week of quiet on UKIP the media today seem to be “nice” to them, even on Murnaghan, have the media realised it’s the public who are making the moves and have left the media behind and they are now scrambling to get equal with public opinion.

    Went past media city yesterday and saw the monstrous bBBC building, I did give it a two finger salute, time the bBBC was sold off and the money used to pay the public debt.

  509. 509
    The Growler says:

    Mr Idiot, so all the left wing are absolute bastards, unworthy scum should be wiped out in a sort of holocaust extermination and the ultra right wing are marvelous wonderful human beings worthy of glory and worshiped by the lower orders, suppose that is what most posters on this blog like you want, keep on as you are, you lot are doing wonders for UKip, Camerons “fruit cakes” the Cons have slipped into third in the Euros, soon they will be third equal with the Limpy Dems. Carrry on as you are, this a public blog run by Fawkesy, you like it or not are acting as the public face of the Cons., and the public judge the you as the public face of the Cons.

  510. 510
    No-hope says:

    I know a local businessman – who works as hard as yourself, and gets sweet FA. He recently shopped around for some some insurance for his Business, and found a site offering it 50% cheaper (for the same cover). The old insurance company only phoned up the local council telling them they thought the guy had no cover, and therefore needed investigating. Theres too much stacked against the self-employed these days.

    And theres very little chance of this changing, despite promises from various parties.

  511. 511
    The Growler says:

    If the Jocks decide to go indepenent, does that mean all those Scottish Con grandees that moved down to Engand to stand in English constituencies will no longer be able to have Engliis/UK seats?

  512. 512
    Bubba in D wing says:

    Hey boy! That thing you call a penis is too small! It look like a button mushroom. I guess you gonna have to be the receiver. Now come on over here, boy, so Bubba can give you some sweet, sweet lovin.

  513. 513
    Mrs C Hamilton says:

    The only PR that Max Clifford will be getting over the next week is a ‘Prolapsed Rectum’.

  514. 514
    David Vine says:

    I smell a claim brewing…

  515. 515
    Blue Peter Goldfish says:

    Max will be signing up another load of criminals whilst inside the HM prison, PR agent for like minded people.

  516. 516
    Village Idiot says:

    ……When not at work,your mind and body are your own to do with as you will,otherwise known as freedom!..We live in a fascinating world,and for intelligent people to completely miss the point is indeed a little sad!
    …Time off is not about laying in bed all day,although,for some,that may be enjoyable…
    Music,literature,culture,time set aside for quiet reflection,looking out over a pleasant vista,the sea,people watching,shopping ,and pursuit of hobbies,the list is endless,but many get wrapped up in their own self importance and the “respect”they get at work,which,of course, is not there when you are free,and there in lies the rub?

  517. 517
    Village Idiot says:

    …..Adapt and learn to live on less!

  518. 518
    Village Idiot says:

    ……Cameron realising he has ballsed up,and doesn,t really want to be in the picture!

  519. 519
    Socialism is a mental illness for which the cure is heavy metal says:

    It is beyond question that the Conservative party has been totally subverted by Cameron and his cronies and therefore cannot be supported by any rational voter. How can they call themselves the Conservative party when they have abandoned Conservative policies ?
    Miliband’s mob are the party of scroungers and parasites, pursuing policies which have been proven disastrous over and over again wherever they have been tried.
    The LibDems are really just a sick joke, wannabees who hunger for power but are incapable of producing cohesive ideas, preferring to jump onto any passing bandwagon that they think might make them look good for a couple of seconds. They use divide-and-rule tactics to ride rough-shod over the democratic process.

    Voting for any of the above will end up with the UK in ruins and its people enslaved by the totally corrupt and anti-democratic EU.

    To make matters worse, all of the above harbour and protect sex perverts within their midst. You and your children are not safe when there’s one of their party members about.

    All of the above are proven hypocrites and liars. They operate by stealth and deceit. It is barely credible that they continue to publish manifestos and election leaflets and spout their lies on TV and in newspapers when their utterings are such blatant garbage. “Conservative”, Labour and LibDem politicians are taking us all for fools.

    Yes, the political system needs to be thoroughly purged.
    The UK is under assault, and the best way to save it right now is to give the LibLabCons an almighty kicking by supporting UKIP.
    You can see that the establishment is running scared.
    You must have realised that there are lots of comments appearing these days which have been produced by trolls who are paid to smear UKIP.
    You must have seen articles in the MSM in the names of contributors who you previously considered to be fairly sensible. The MSM in the UK has been bought and paid for, and I don’t mean by the readers.

    The first step on the way to UK recovery is immediate exit from the EU.
    Ignore the scare-mongering of the LibLabCons – the UK managed just fine before the EU monster sank its claws into the UK.
    The UK will be far better off without the EU and its lackeys, and the same goes for the rest of Europe too.

    Vote UKIP.

  520. 520
    Anon says:

    …..It is the “Brainwashing” that is the problem?..Were they not born here,or at least,grew up in Britain?

  521. 521
    A view says:

    Too bad. They should have stayed at home in the first place.

  522. 522
    Anon says:

    ..Where on earth do you dream up this drivel,a warped mind is to be pitied!

  523. 523
    Expat Geordie says:

    Sounds about right. So, what’s your problem?

  524. 524
    Expat Geordie says:

    Presumably they will have a choice of either a Scottish or British passport. The comparisons between Malta and Scotland are uncanny and for most Scots I would have thought rather frightening.

  525. 525
    Anonymous says:

    London ?

  526. 526
    Anonymous says:

    They are brothers, neither eats pork, and both kill animals h@lal style by slitting the animals throat whilst it is still alive so it bleads to death.

  527. 527
    Anonymous says:

    Clarkson was very close to standing for UKIP or being a spokesperson.

    This clearly terrified the usual LibLabCon and BBC, hence the smear campaign against him to discredit him so he cannot one out as a UKIP supporter.

    An early intervention if you like.

    Quite clever, quite nasty.

  528. 528
    Funambulist says:

    Isn’t Geert banned from the UK – on the grounds that he doesn’t have a long bushy beard and call for the annihilation of all infidels?

  529. 529
    EeeYepBlowing Whistles says:

    May the 4th be with you sir.

    It’s Star Wars day.

  530. 530
    Anonymous says:

    Cameron is a liar, and cannot be trusted.

  531. 531
    Expat Geordie says:

    Would the heavy metal in question be a 9mm lead injection into the brain, or just lithium?

  532. 532
    Mr Helpful's Helper says:

    Finding one in a punch bowl is no great fun, either, boss.

  533. 533
    Bailey and Barnam says:

    Looks like a meeting of Perverts Re-united

  534. 534
    Socialism is a mental illness for which the cure is heavy metal says:

    Last time I checked, lithium was definitely on the light side. :)

  535. 535
    Keen Observer says:

    Never mind Gerry Adams, here’s a prime example of Politically Motivated Interference. Fettered, before his UKIP campaign ever got off the ground.

  536. 536
    Anonymous says:

    They keep adding to the banned words so that they can tell who is in their little PC group. A while ago they were trying to make “disabled” non PC in favour of “differently abled”.

  537. 537
    Anonymous says:

    They won’t. As a popular and visible person who epitomises everything they hate, he is a priority target.

  538. 538
    Anonymous says:

    Mythbusters proved they can be polished.

  539. 539
    Anonymous says:

    Has Alan Coren’s Idi Amin spoof stuff been airbrushed away yet?

    “Defence? De man wid de nails am comin’ to fix it.”

  540. 540
    Anonymous says:

    Aha! the Internet never forgets:

    Here it is!

  541. 541
    Anonymous says:

    Hey Eliot, just a thought, you could try reading them. You might learn something.

    I know it’s not the leftie way to expose yourself to ideas which haven’t been approved by central committee, but we won’t tell if you don’t.

  542. 542
    Anonymous says:

    Did he learn nothing from the Clegg massacre?

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Alan Milburn says Labour’s scaremongering campaign for an unreformed NHS will not win election…

“It would be a fatal mistake, in my view, for Labour to go into this election looking as though it is the party that would better resource the National Health Service but not necessarily put its foot to the floor when it comes to reforming. Look, reforms are not easy, but the Labour Party is not a conservative party. It should be about moving things forward not preserving them in aspic. You have got a pale imitation actually of the 1992 general election campaign, and maybe it will have the same outcome. I don’t know.”

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