April 29th, 2014

RUMOUR: Mercer Decision Imminent

Three weeks ago in his Sun column Guido revealed that CCHQ was bracing itself for a damning Standards Committee report into Patrick Mercer, with insiders saying the condemnation will be so bad he may be forced out of Parliament. The story was followed up in the Sunday Times this weekend. Several sources are now suggesting that the decision will come in the next 24 hours…

UPDATE: The Week reports that Mercer has been banned from parliament for six months. The Standards Committee is refusing to comment. Mercer isn’t answering his mobile…


  1. 1

    I doubt Cameron wants a by-election right at this moment.


  2. 2
    Maria Miller says:

    About to attempt to get to Waterloo for a train. The should hand out catheters when this happens.


    • 64
      The People's Army says:

      It’s not too far to your house in Wimbledon. Cross your legs, love.


      • 73
        broderick crawford says:

        I ve got an Iceland plastic bag you could use dearie. They re the strongest of all the Big Six ….and they re still free not like Lidl !!


  3. 4
    Everyone says:

    No mercy for Mercer


  4. 5
    John Bull says:

    That will be the first UKIP MP then.

    The first of many, by the looks of it.

    Advance Britannia.


  5. 6
    Danny Alexander says:

    “Any talk of economic recovery is pure fiction” Gideon George Osborne


  6. 7
    (Un)Happy families says:


  7. 9
    Nigel Farage says:

    Nigel Farage today condemned the three main Westminster parties for resorting to a “campaign of slurs” against UKIP supporters in a desperate bid to protect their establishment cartel and prevent his party winning the European elections next month.

    The UKIP leader spoke out after a front page Guardian report revealed the launch of a cross-party campaign to brand UKIP as racist.

    Former Labour immigration minister Barbara Roche is leading an anti-UKIP campaign by the Migration Matters Trust, which also has Tory and Lib Dem support, and has accused UKIP of “Euracism”.

    Mr Farage said: “I am really sorry that millions of people who have decided to vote UKIP next month now find themselves accused by the political establishment of supporting racism.

    “This is like the incident between Gordon Brown and Gillian Duffy at the last general election writ large – this time it is not merely one person being slandered by one establishment party but huge numbers of decent British people under attack and all three Westminster parties levelling the charge of racism and bigotry.


    • 15
      @hateliebour says:

      The LibLabCons can’t win because people think they are just a gang of greedy incompetent self promoting shysters and are worried that this time they can’t change people minds to vote for them because they can’t think of any isms that will work with the trash anymore.


  8. 10
    Anonymous says:

    Jackanory Jackanory Jackanory


    • 23
      The Growler says:

      What do you expect from the heir of B’Liar


      • 76
        broderick crawford says:

        Lord Young and nick Clegg have the benevolent smiles of indulgent fathers towards the latest outrages perpetrated by their beloved errant son ( guess who )


  9. 11
    Yellow is colour of the Euro losers says:

    Listening that Norman Smith trying to spam UKIP on the bBBC, he is now saying that the LibLabCons may get together to attack UKIP, I’am thinking if the LibLabCons actually tried to be political parties in their own right and were out trying to get votes for their own parties maybe they would do better, but as everybody knows the LibLabCons are not real political parties but are just gangsters looking after themselves and the only way they can get anywhere is to throw sh1t and hope it sticks.


  10. 12
    John Bull says:

    UKIP had almost 2000 votes in Newark at the General Election.

    There was a strong Labour and Liberal vote then as well.

    The Labour vote will still be there but the Liberal
    one have probably evaporated and UKIP will pick up the Lib Dems’ protest element.

    Good odds for the Kippers I would say if there is a by election because of a disgraced MP.

    Maybe Maria Miller would like to stand down at the same time so that UKIP can take Basingstoke on the same day as well.

    Sic transit Gloria mundi.


  11. 14
    BBC 24hr rolling bollocks says:

    I haven’t been following the Mercer story.
    What does it involve a trough a secretary or a young boys bottom?

    By the way thanks for making one of my comments quote of the day Guido.
    I expect the usual in the post…bugger all.


  12. 18
  13. 19
    jgm2 says:

    Ooooooh. Tricky one.

    Do BBC/Labour break their Ribbentrop-Molotov pact with the Torys as they both go after UKIP or will Labour/BBC attempt to attack on both fronts and risk diluting the anti UKIP message.

    Decision time for Miliband and the BBC.


    • 24
      brown-dog says:

      I think you’ll find the Anti-comintern Pact (Anti COMmunist INTERNational) would be more apt description.


    • 29
      Bill Quango MP says:

      Corporal Miliband looks dumb enough to try the war on two fronts.

      “You have only to kick in the UKIP door,” said Ed confidently, “and their whole rotten structure will come crashing down.”


      • 31
        Major General Farage says:

        Some chicken. Some neck.


      • 34
        jgm2 says:

        Yep. Ed does look that stupid.

        But no matter how low an opinion one has of politicians it does take a certain low cunning to ascend to party leadership so he may not be as dumb as he looks. After all, he triangulated his way to party leader. Even if it did mean tearing his own family apart.

        Will he be (or Balls or the BBC) be able to resist – as you term it – the war on two fronts.

        Either way it will be most instructive as to who Labour fears most.


      • 37
        Nick Robinson says:

        The BBC have assured me they will provide complete airwave superiority for your attack mein nipplegrabber.


        • 56
          JH293275709234-027 says:

          Oh great, the lefty version of Lord Haw-Haw squawking from every radio and television, ordering people to only vote for their BBC-approved candidates*.

          * Labour preferred


    • 44
      Ellie-Mae (9) says:

      Whoa! Milliband and “decision” in the same sentence?


    • 51
      Gerbil 7 says:

      That’ll be a decision for Miliband then…


  14. 20
    Patrick Mercer says:

    It’s one o’clock
    And time for lunch
    When the sun beats down
    And I lay on me bench
    I can always hear them talk


  15. 22
    Anonymous says:

    Sadly for us UKIPP’ers there is no chance here. Very safe Tory seat and entranched team. Lets hope UKIP give a good showing, but I would caution against us getting carried away as will damage us when we lose.


    • 26
      The Growler says:

      Why, have they been encouraging voters to apply for postal votes and then vote for them, they did with me.


      • 30
        jgm2 says:

        That’s a shocking allegation. I’m shocked to hear that a political party other than Labour would seek to mass register voters in the expectation that they would vote for them.

        Shocked I tells ya.

        Don’t UKIP know that the whole purpose of postal voting is to perpetuate mass voter fraud for Labour candidates? What are they thinking of?


  16. 25
    Another 5 year old ginger tossy actress out of work. says:



  17. 28
    Steel Shit says:

    Lord Steel said he challenged Cyril Smith about allegations he abused boys at a Rochdale home after they appeared in Private Eye magazine in 1979. The ex-Liberal leader told BBC Radio 4’s The World at One the claims dated back to Smith’s time as a councillor. Smith told him police investigated the claims and taken no action, he said. Asked whether he had looked into rumours about Smith’s behaviour as an MP, he said: “We are a political party not a detective agency.”


  18. 33
    John Bull says:

    That is a shame Anonymous.

    You have obviously got some local knowledge.

    Are you really sure UKIP cannot win ? I appreciate the point re expectation management.

    Hilarious about the Ribbentrop-Molotov pact.

    That is exactly what it is. Tessa Jowell was almost making love to Cheryl Gillan on the Daily Politcs yesterday. Pass the sick bag, there are no depths to which these people will not stoop to try and derail UKIP.


  19. 36
    So what's new? says:

    Yawn. Slug slow slime slowly slugs the slime. Snail slow!


  20. 38
    Is this a record ? says:

    No mention of bumsex on this thread so far.


    • 49
      Ken Loach says:

      I would like to make a moving film about a young chap who contracts galloping dandruff(Crabs)and his fight for justice against small minded bigots who condemn him for being a selfish man who indulged in promiscuous sex without wearing a condom.
      ‘Philadelphia bellend cheese’ is the films working title.


    • 50
      Rightie protesting too much says:



      • 55
        Ken Loach says:

        Here’s the storyline.

        After contracting an STD and getting caught scratching his itchy balls behind the counter Spotty Herbert was sacked from his job as a burger flipper.
        This is his story of his fight for justice against a powerful and rich burger chain and the bigotry of its customers who refused to eat the food he cooked.


    • 66
      Anonymous says:

      I’ll mention it!


  21. 45
    Sir Mary Flappes says:

    Shouldn’t be banned for 6 months. He should be brought TO the PoW, chained to a pillar on a short lunge and made to lick the public’s shoes clean wi’ t’ tongue for a similar period.


  22. 46
  23. 48
    jgm2 says:

    Ref RMT strike

    Okay. I’ve got this cracked. LUL needs to recruit lots of part time ‘safety wardens’ for the underground. You know. To cover the essential ‘safety’ duty that those ticket sellers cover now. Encourage them to sign up to a different union.

    The next time RMT go on strike just keep the stations open and let folk travel free. Offer overtime or extra hours to your ‘safety wardens’ and ‘safety’ is covered.

    It cost little more to run the trains as let them sit idles – so run the trains.

    Commuters aren’t affected so LUL is under no customer pressure to settle and can last much longer without cash than most strikers.

    Do a Fatcha on the fuckers.


    • 78
      broderick crawford says:

      Most of the lines have driverless train facilities niw any way so what s the problem . Just run the trains with no drivers hey !– it might even become oermanent .

      Elf and Safety ? Just put a ” captain ” on the train to parade up and down like a peacock and do sod all … just like has been happening on the DLR for years.

      in case if mishap he would need to stop the train with the dead man s over ride handle and get in touch with control to solve the issue

      where s the beef ?


      • 79
        broderick crawford says:

        That s the second post on the strike i ve had spiked in two days Gweeds .

        Obviously your Moddy is a pleasant train trucker s son .


  24. 53
    Loose Rizlas says:

    I would like to thank my local CONservative candidate for the roach material.


  25. 54
    Anonymous says:

    Just wondering… In terms being banned from Parliament, what’s the threshold at which a by-election is triggered?


  26. 58
    catesby says:

    Yes Paddy Mercer has to go but Newark will probably return to Labour.


  27. 67
    Anonymous says:

    He’s a Hunt. There all Hunts.


  28. 68
    Fucking dis custard says:

    I feel a Cyril moment coming on


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