April 25th, 2014

Dave’s Diary Headache

Craig Oliver learnt one thing from Andy Coulson, keeping a diary:

By Guido’s count there are at least seven diaries/books about Cameron being worked on at the moment:

They would all be worthless if published after the election if the Tories have lost…


  1. 1
    It would be immoral not to says:

    Still voting UKIP

  2. 2
    Ockham's Razor says:

    Mrs Dale’s is about to be overrun.

  3. 3
    Nigel Evans says:

    Me so horny.

  4. 4
    Ockham's Razor says:

    Now who could possibly want to vote UKIP?

    Oh, wait a moment…

  5. 5
    UKIP candidate says:

    Car crashes are caused by gay marriage.

  6. 6
    Uncle Mac says:

    Good Morning Bumsexers everywhere.

  7. 7
    Ockham's Razor says:

    Girls here.

    Shurely shome mishtake?

  8. 8
    BrindleFly says:

    The Coulson Diaries will give him something to do while in prison.

  9. 9
    Lord Stansted says:

    Are any of them worth reading? Probably not.

  10. 10
    Owen Jones,Socialist turned Capitalist says:

    Once again, Guido is bang on the money.

    “They would all be worthless if published after the election if the Tories have lost”

  11. 11
    I Was Just Thinking says:

    Be nice to people on your way up because you may meet them on your way down.

  12. 12
    Nigel Evans says:

    It’s all bi the bi, duckie!

  13. 13
    Harvey Proctor, personal friend of Maggie says:

    Morning duckie!

  14. 14
    Anonymous says:

    Trying to work out why they’d be worthless if the Tories lost. Either they are of intrinsic interest or rubbish, regardless of election results.

  15. 15
    Public Sector = Waste says:

    Delusions of grandeur and talent. These prime public sector plonkers are supposed to be working for us but they’re using their time in office to fill diaries with their vain thoughts with the warped hope of cashing in with a book deal.

  16. 16
    Centre Parting says:

    I thought you weren’t allowed to profit from criminal activity, so if he is found guilty he won’t be able to make money from them.

    Has Blair written a book?

  17. 17
    Ockham's Razor says:

    He hid have a hand in the Iraq Dossier.

  18. 18
    Braveheart says:

    Happy 730th Birthday to King Edward II of England.
    Your Majesty will be pleased to hear that you have a worthy successor in David Conman.
    It would be regrettable if his life were to end in the same way yours did.

  19. 19
    Engineer says:

    True; but that’s never stopped people buying rubbish in the past, has it?

  20. 20
    11.48am and another UKIP own goal says:

    It’s not midday and I bring you news of UKIP’s newest clusterfork:

    Ukip poster boy is Irish migrant actor Dave O’Rourke


  21. 21
    Calamity Clegg, Chief Cockroach says:

    You call it a diary, I call it a liary

  22. 22
    Angry Birds says:

    Whi cares what’s in a diary about Dave? He hasn’t done anything.

  23. 23
    Jazz Porridge says:

    Oh FFS. Thousands of builders and even actors and they pick an immigrant actor to bemoan the problem of immigrant workers taking British jobs.

    Patrick O’Flynn should resign. The party leadership look like ham amateurs.

  24. 24
    Lightborn says:

    You’ll always find me ready.

  25. 25
    UKIP Voter says:

    Call that a Clusterfuck how about LibDem MP Cyril Smith fiddling with kids?
    If we are going to judge a whole party by the actions of one of its members let’s start with the LibDems.

  26. 26
    British adverts for migrant actors says:

    Classic “diversion” tactic. That was in the 1970s and he’s dead. Nobody can fix it or even charge him.

    In the meantime UKIP are proving they can’t run a whelk stand.

  27. 27
    UKIP Voter says:

    You can really tell the quality of our leaders today by the scum they choose as advisers.
    Locked away in their Westminster palace surrounded by little Rasputin’s telling them what they want to hear.
    No wonder the main political parties are so out of touch and why revolution in the form of voting UKIP is just around the corner.

  28. 28
    unpronouncable says:

    i am a full stop.
    you kip.
    when the dim lite goes to work, he become s the light. he does not get paid as expectd but is swayed by the justification. possibly this was only later or possibly it was always. and the purpose of money is is freedom but the dim lite . the full stop should relax as that would be doing something nice for him.
    is the full stop sexist or does he like his place in the head?

  29. 29
    UKIP Voter says:

    Look at the lowly UKIP candidate and his tweets not the high profile high ranking LibDem politician who fiddled with kids and got away with it because current Libdem polticians did bugger all at the time.
    That is what you call Diversion tactics mate.

  30. 30
    Honest Andy Coulson says:

    What EXACTLY is perjury?
    (I have a friend who’d like to know)

  31. 31
    Maria Miller says:

    Can I claim on expenses the £250 I paid for those bloody awful charity calendars I was forced to buy?
    Maybe call it `household`?
    …and when do I get my 11% pay rise?

  32. 32
    Diddley says:

    …or voting for it.

  33. 33
    Umma says:

    Hot tub suppliers UK Dealership Of Luxury Zspas Zen Spas Hot Tubs Order From The Range Or Design Your Own Hot Tub Deposit Only £299 Delivery From £150

  34. 34
    No statute opf limitations says:

    “Classic “diversion” tactic. That was in the 1970s and he’s dead. ”

    Lord Rennard.

    Anyway, the peopel who turned a blind eye to Smith are stiill around.

    People like … Clog

  35. 35
    catesby says:

    What interesting info are we likely to read in a book about Scameron? It will be a slim volume. This man’s life is so tedious it’s untrue.

  36. 36
    zhim says:

    About quarter to two?

  37. 37
    The Growler says:

    Isn’t the old Fawkesy Iorish, but it was part of the UK until they decided to part company

  38. 38
    The Growler says:

    That seems to be the problem

  39. 39
    The Growler says:

    This has dragged on for years now, and this trial has dragged for nearly a year now, so I imagine the jury with be so bored that they will find him “not guilty”

  40. 40
    The Growler says:

    Those wouldn’t be diaries the ones that could hold some very embarrassing notes in connection with Dave, a bit like Mr Poulson’s little black books, and reason Coulson got his job in No 10

  41. 41
    The Growler says:

    Well, folks by the Sun

  42. 42
    The Growler says:

    He was a civil servant wasn’t he while in No10, I don’t think civil servants would be able to keep their notes about work, The Official Secrets Acts

  43. 43
    The Growler says:

    And a hand in a lot of other things

  44. 44
    The Growler says:

    You wouldn’t be referring to Scotchland leaving the UK

  45. 45
    broderick crawford says:

    Of course tgee are no notebooks . It s luddite technology .

    Who needs notebooks when it s all on tape ?!

  46. 46
    broderick crawford says:

    Hey Danny Boy . Fancy a kick up the Derry Air ?

  47. 47
    broderick crawford says:

    Car crashes possibly . Road rage certainly.

  48. 48
    broderick crawford says:

    Anything to get back to Coronatio Street and ” normality ” I suppose.

    ( if they find them all not guilty does that mean rupe can reincarnate the News of the Screws? — this Sun on Sunday is not a patch …. )

  49. 49
    broderick crawford says:

    … sorry Guido i forgot you write a column for the organ … obviously the exception that proves the rule .

  50. 50
    Chewbacca says:

    I call it a hairy.

  51. 51
    Anonymous says:

    “Dave’s Diary Headache”
    solved. By sending in the same team that visited the Guardian. To smash it with a hammer?

  52. 52
    Mark Wouters says:

    sovietsalami63 here!
    The Tories are not just nerds theyre TURDS,and that goes for the global community of Neo-cons Too!!! Don’t vote as they will put in who they want its all corrupt globally.

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